Thread: Eyal Lalo Police Report 1. 02-27-2008 10:20 PM #1 banned WTF Veteran Posts 1,431 My Watchbox Eyal Lalo Police Report We all read with delight Revolutions crime beat report of the assault on Mr. Lalo today. I was able to dig up the prosecution report today from a friend. The event occurred on 02 26 07 at 1427 hours in front of 1362 Constitution Ave. S.W. WDC. I was assigned to Scout Car 1021 and was engaged in routine patrol and in full uniform. At 1429 hours, I received a radio run for an assault in progress at the event location. Upon arrival at the scene, I observed C-1 Lalo,Eyal W/M 44, sitting on the steps of the Air and Space Museum holding a handkerchief to his forehead area. I observed a small amount of blood had soaked through the handkerchief. C-1 was slightly out of breath, and was agitated. C-1 intimated to me that he was standing in line in front of the event location with his wife and children, W-1,2 and 3, awaiting to enter the museum. He further advised that he heard the word "liar" screamed from somewhere behind him. He turned around to look and observed S-1 approaching him at a fast pace on foot and in a menacing manner. C-1 stated that at this point, S-1 removed his wristwatch from his left wrist, and hurled it with his right hand directly at C-1. The wristwatch struck C-1 in the head, causing a 2inch laceration to the forehead and scalp area. C-1 fell to the ground, causing the listed pain and injury. S-1 was detained by Smithsonian Guard staff until my arrival. When asked if C-1 could identify the person that injured him, he pointed at S-1 and stated "thats him right there". S-1 who self identified as Foghorn, Boscoe W/M 77 was arrested without incident and charged with ADW Wristwatch and Throwing a Missile in Public Space. The weapon was identified as a large wristwatch labeled Invicta-SubAqua Noma Three Project
Eyal Lalo Police Report - Satire from 2008
Mar 25, 2016
1. 02-27-2008 10:20 PM #1 banned WTF Veteran Thread: Eyal Lalo Police Report Eyal Lalo Police Report 1,431 Posts Agent Orange Reply With Quote Dec 2007 The Yellow Brick Road Location 2,800 Join Date Posts WTF Veteran Reply With Quote Reply With Quote Dec 2007 I really wish I had the vocabulary and emoticons to tell you how funny that was, banned! LMAO! FreeDive 2,208 Join Date Posts Classic. WTF Veteran Reply With Quote Jan 2008 Long Island, NY Age Location 820 Join Date Posts 33
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Thread: Eyal Lalo Police Report
1. 02-27-2008 10:20 PM #1
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Eyal Lalo Police Report
We all read with delight Revolutions crime beat report of the assault on Mr. Lalo today. I was able to dig
up the prosecution report today from a friend.
The event occurred on 02 26 07 at 1427 hours in front of 1362 Constitution Ave. S.W. WDC. I was
assigned to Scout Car 1021 and was engaged in routine patrol and in full uniform. At 1429 hours, I
received a radio run for an assault in progress at the event location. Upon arrival at the scene, I
observed C-1 Lalo,Eyal W/M 44, sitting on the steps of the Air and Space Museum holding a
handkerchief to his forehead area. I observed a small amount of blood had soaked through the
handkerchief. C-1 was slightly out of breath, and was agitated. C-1 intimated to me that he was standing
in line in front of the event location with his wife and children, W-1,2 and 3, awaiting to enter the
museum. He further advised that he heard the word "liar" screamed from somewhere behind him. He
turned around to look and observed S-1 approaching him at a fast pace on foot and in a menacing
manner. C-1 stated that at this point, S-1 removed his wristwatch from his left wrist, and hurled it with
his right hand directly at C-1. The wristwatch struck C-1 in the head, causing a 2inch laceration to the
forehead and scalp area. C-1 fell to the ground, causing the listed pain and injury. S-1 was detained by
Smithsonian Guard staff until my arrival. When asked if C-1 could identify the person that injured him,
he pointed at S-1 and stated "thats him right there". S-1 who self identified as Foghorn, Boscoe W/M 77
was arrested without incident and charged with ADW Wristwatch and Throwing a Missile in Public
Space. The weapon was identified as a large wristwatch labeled Invicta-SubAqua Noma Three Project
ABDA and put on the property book for evidence. C-1 was transported by DCFD Medic 32 to G.W.
Hospital for treatment. S-1 was transported to 1D for processing. During transport, and post-Miranda, S-
1 issued an excited utterrance of " I would do it again, a CEO should know his product."
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2. 02-27-2008 10:23 PM #2
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I really wish I had the vocabulary and emoticons to tell you how funny that was, banned! LMAO!
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3. 02-27-2008 10:39 PM #3
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Classic.
Freedom is a word often used, but an action seldom exercised.
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4. 02-27-2008 10:42 PM #4
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Bbwwwaaaahhahahahaha!!!!
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5. 02-27-2008 10:43 PM #5
13ECHO
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Originally Posted by banned
We all read with delight Revolutions crime beat report of the assault on Mr. Lalo today. I was able to dig
up the prosecution report today from a friend.
The event occurred on 02 26 07 at 1427 hours in front of 1362 Constitution Ave. S.W. WDC. I was
assigned to Scout Car 1021 and was engaged in routine patrol and in full uniform. At 1429 hours, I
received a radio run for an assault in progress at the event location. Upon arrival at the scene, I observed
C-1 Lalo,Eyal W/M 44, sitting on the steps of the Air and Space Museum holding a handkerchief to his
forehead area. I observed a small amount of blood had soaked through the handkerchief. C-1 was
slightly out of breath, and was agitated. C-1 intimated to me that he was standing in line in front of the
event location with his wife and children, W-1,2 and 3, awaiting to enter the museum. He further advised
that he heard the word "liar" screamed from somewhere behind him. He turned around to look and
observed S-1 approaching him at a fast pace on foot and in a menacing manner. C-1 stated that at this
point, S-1 removed his wristwatch from his left wrist, and hurled it with his right hand directly at C-1. The
wristwatch struck C-1 in the head, causing a 2inch laceration to the forehead and scalp area. C-1 fell to
the ground, causing the listed pain and injury. S-1 was detained by Smithsonian Guard staff until my
arrival. When asked if C-1 could identify the person that injured him, he pointed at S-1 and stated "thats
him right there". S-1 who self identified as Foghorn, Boscoe W/M 77 was arrested without incident and
charged with ADW Wristwatch and Throwing a Missile in Public Space. The weapon was identified as a
large wristwatch labeled Invicta-SubAqua Noma Three Project ABDA and put on the property book for
evidence. C-1 was transported by DCFD Medic 32 to G.W. Hospital for treatment. S-1 was transported to
1D for processing. During transport, and post-Miranda, S-1 issued an excited utterrance of " I would do it
again, a CEO should know his product."
That sounds like the opening of a Law and Order episode. Pretty good. You write good tickets.
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6. 02-27-2008 10:52 PM #6
Shepherd Seph
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Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met
Mr. Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or
anything else at the gentleman.
While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
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7. 02-27-2008 11:09 PM #7
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Originally Posted by Shepherd Seph
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr.
Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything
else at the gentleman.
While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
I don't mind at all that you don't like it. This was based off of Revolutions post in your original thread. I
think it's humorous, I'm a retired cop so I knew how to write it. I am certainly not wishing this to happen
to Mr. Lalo or encouraging anyone to assault him. It was a humorous anecdote.
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8. 02-27-2008 11:23 PM #8
falcon4311
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Wow, what else can one say? No more jokes Banned!! Bad boy!!
Originally Posted by Shepherd Seph
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr.
Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything
else at the gentleman.
While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
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9. 02-27-2008 11:43 PM #9
Revolution
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@banned,
Oh yeah, blame me for getting you into trouble!
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10. 02-28-2008 12:46 AM #10
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oh my, that was too funny
word on the street
1. 02-28-2008 01:28 AM #11
Ikkyu
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Originally Posted by Shepherd Seph
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr.
Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything
else at the gentleman.
While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
Agreed, it's a bit over the top.
There are a lot of dangerous nuts out there and I'm sure Eyal has his safety in mind (as well as his wife
and kid's) when he's vacationing. He probably can't just relax when he's out and about like we can.
JMHO.
Last edited by Ikkyu; 02-28-2008 at 01:30 AM. Reason: .........'cause I wanted to...........
Take the red pill???: http://www.nhne.com/specialreports/bigmind/
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2. 02-28-2008 10:16 AM #12
Datsun240Z71
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It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.
And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience.
I seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
Randy in Nashville
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3. 02-28-2008 10:53 AM #13
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Paparazzi, no...
But I'm still not comfortable with it. I can only imagine how Mr. Lalo would feel reading this post. Seeing
as he was just in D.C., and someone on the web is now posting fake police reports about injuries,
stretchers, etc., it seems enough to give anyone an uneasy feeling. Nobody wants to worry about
bumping into a crazy who has a personal grudge to vent, but they are out there these days.
I know I wouldn't like reading a web post about me being assaulted and getting a concussion, satire or
not.
And, I think there are other ways we can rib Mr. Lalo (if that's your thing) that don't include physical
attacks. Sorry to sound like sour grapes, but that's how I feel.
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4. 02-28-2008 10:53 AM #14
rm663
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Originally Posted by Datsun240Z71
It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.
And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience. I
seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
Satire or not... my first thought was this is the internet. When someone google's the name that post is
gonna show.
Dave
Life is Simple... either you're qualified or you're not!
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5. 02-28-2008 10:55 AM #15
Shepherd Seph
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Originally Posted by rm663
Satire or not... my first thought was this is the internet. When someone google's the name that post is
gonna show.
Dave
Interesting thought, rm. I think that may be why all earlier satires that I remember from the old board at
least used fictional characters, such as the venerable Mr. Lyor of the Inwicta Watch Grouppe.
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6. 02-28-2008 10:59 AM #16
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I only laughed (and still do) fure pure satirical relief. I think Eyal's an honest guy who runs a great
company that I will always support, and would never wish any physical harm on him. I took this from a
"imagine if" standpoint in a hypothetical setting. Just separating reality from comedy, like when George
C. Scott got hit in the crotch with a football on The Simpsons...
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7. 02-28-2008 11:01 AM #17
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Just read rm's "google" post, I do see your point.
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8. 02-28-2008 11:49 AM #18
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Mr. Seph,
You have made it patently clear that you do not find my post amusing. That is your right. The more you
post about the maladies of such a post however, the longer you extend it's life on the front page, which
in turn offends you again. If your goal is for me to retract it or apologize, I'm sorry but I will not do so.
Stop reading it, and you will no longer upset yourself. I know the in's and out's of the law, and there is
nothing defammatory or incendiary about my posting. Bad Taste- possibly. I highly doubt I am providing
a blueprint for a future assault against Mr. Lalo. Perhaps you should not have posted his exact
whereabouts in the District. I would hate for some "nut" to read your post and be able to attack him
because you carelessly provided a location for him.
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9. 02-28-2008 12:31 PM #19
falcon4311
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Originally Posted by Datsun240Z71
It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.
And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience. I
seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
I realize there are nut jobs out there but I hardly think that Lalo would be high on their watch throwing
hit list. It's not like his name is high profile like that of John Lennon or Ronald Reagan’s. I am pretty sure
that if Lalo was to read the thread and all of the posts he would take it in the spirit in which it was
intended, it’s a joke and nothing more. The guy is just another normal human being like the rest of us
and I am willing to bet he has a sense of humour like some of us have.
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10. 02-28-2008 03:12 PM #20
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Originally Posted by falcon4311
The guy is just another normal human being like the rest of us
Speak for yourself!!
I am not and hope never to be "normal"!!
I can think of a few others here who also don't fit into the "normal" category.:D
1. 02-28-2008 03:50 PM #21
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Words of wisdom slightly paraphrased.. "let he who is without sin cast the first Subaqua Noma."
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2. 02-28-2008 05:18 PM #22
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Mr. banned, are you really SGT. Joe Friday?
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3. 02-28-2008 05:56 PM #23
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Very funny and well written; I bet E.L. will lol if he comes across this one!
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4. 02-28-2008 06:50 PM #24
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That was very funny. I enjoyed it.
And Shep, every one here knows you'd never throw a watch. Heck, I've never even seen you pitch a fit!
I'm sure The Lalo wouldn't mind. He seems to have a good sense of humor. Besides, he's laughing all the
way to the bank.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
[/COLOR]
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5. 02-28-2008 07:09 PM #25
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Originally Posted by boscoe
That was very funny. I enjoyed it.
And Shep, every one here knows you'd never throw a watch. Heck, I've never even seen you pitch a fit!
I'm sure The Lalo wouldn't mind. He seems to have a good sense of humor. Besides, he's laughing all the
way to the bank.
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6. 02-28-2008 09:05 PM #26
hawaiiangordo
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Ridiculous
Originally Posted by Shepherd Seph
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr.
Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything
else at the gentleman.
While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
This post is funnier to me than the original post itself. I am sick of people being offended by the simple
things in life such as satirical comedy. The joke that freedom of speech has become in this country is
under attack every day in this exact manner. The thought that one would actually be upset by this post
is outrageous. My opinion is there was no offense here but someone's feeble attempt to be heard and
to create a "stir". I am sick of this crap. If you have a problem, PM a moderator or Banned himself,
because I am far more offended by this person trying to attack someone for a little humor. If you have a
problem, move on. Banned, thanks for not apologizing or recanting your little saga. Peace:mad:
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7. 02-28-2008 09:09 PM #27
boscoe
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Originally Posted by hawaiiangordo
This post is funnier to me than the original post itself. I am sick of people being offended by the simple
things in life such as satirical comedy. The joke that freedom of speech has become in this country is
under attack every day in this exact manner. The thought that one would actually be upset by this post is
outrageous. My opinion is there was no offense here but someone's feeble attempt to be heard and to
create a "stir". I am sick of this crap. If you have a problem, PM a moderator or Banned himself, because
I am far more offended by this person trying to attack someone for a little humor. If you have a problem,
move on. Banned, thanks for not apologizing or recanting your little saga. Peace:mad:
I'd find it humorous, too, if we weren't talking about Shep. He's a man of the cloth and as such a man of
peace. So his reaction to violence - even in jest - is understandable.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
[/COLOR]
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8. 02-29-2008 12:04 AM #28
Shepherd Seph
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brother... what I did is an attack now? Man, you've got issues. Asking someone to reconsider the good-
taste of a statement they've made is not a limit on free speech, anymore than you telling me to get over
it, hawaiiangordo. Give it a rest already.
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9. 02-29-2008 09:49 AM #29
Revolution
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Shep is entitled to his opinion and there is no need to exacerbate things by making things personal. I
think he probably would have reserved his thoughts to himself had his post not been hijacked by yours
truly. The original thread was his post about his encounter with Eyal that "somehow' morphed into
the fictionalized epic adventures of the Lalo. There was no malice or ill-will intended, just a bit of
sarcasm over the comment that the original post had been so civil in its depiction of the Lalo.
I thought my post was clever and had already patted myself on the back over its contents, and then
Banned topped mine with an even funnier rendition. But comedy is in the eye of the beholder and as I
now see part of the comic relief came at Shep's expense, so for that, I'll happily say "I'm sorry, no
offense intended."
Now let's all of us get in a big group hug and get back to showing love for Invicta and our fellow
Invictaphiles.
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10. 02-29-2008 12:51 PM #30
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No offense
1. 10-29-2008 03:04 PM #31
tommyfeds
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Sorry to dig up an old post..........
...however I found this post by googling "Project ABDA". I just received my SAN III LE (which has to be
returned due to a bad minute counter) however I noticed that engraved on the back.
What does Project ABDA mean?
Thanks!
Tommy
P.S. I chuckled at the original post and found no problem with it FWIW
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2. 10-29-2008 03:34 PM #32
two21b
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Welcome to the OIF, Tommy. There has been quite a bit of fun at Mr. Lalo's expense here. I have no idea
what Project ABDA is as it relates to Invicta.
"Pipes are occasionally of extraordinary interest. Nothing has more individuality, save perhaps watches
and bootlaces." - SH
WTF Admin Team - The Hamilton Watch Forum & The Community Forum
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3. 10-29-2008 03:53 PM #33
johnwicz
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I thought that I heard somewhere (maybe that shopping channel) that it had to do with his children,
possibly their initials???
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4. 10-29-2008 08:32 PM #34
valvestem
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hey banned, you retired young, i was 42 when i pulled the plug. i found the post at issue entertaining,
and enjoyed seeing the lingo used, which was quite different than we used up here. satire is all it is.:)
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5. 10-29-2008 08:35 PM #35
valvestem
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Originally Posted by foghorn
Speak for yourself!!
I am not and hope never to be "normal"!!
I can think of a few others here who also don't fit into the "normal" category.:D
hey, i resemble that remark! (line from 3 stooges)
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6. 10-30-2008 08:06 AM #36
tommyfeds
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Thanks!
Originally Posted by johnwicz
I thought that I heard somewhere (maybe that shopping channel) that it had to do with his children,
possibly their initials???
Interesting, I dont mind it, I just would like to know whats on the back of my not so cheap watch. I would
have thought it would have come with a little more explanation and maybe a bit more then the old
"cheese" box. But, oh well. It is a monster and I do like it a lot.
Thanks,
Tommy
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7. 10-31-2008 06:29 AM #37
SmokeyUST
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I find it an awesome and well written post. Foghorn throwing a watch, yeah right, even if it was faulty!
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8. 10-31-2008 06:51 AM #38
Dxomas
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Originally Posted by foghorn
Speak for yourself!!
I am not and hope never to be "normal"!!
I can think of a few others here who also don't fit into the "normal" category.:D
Hey, are you talking about me... Again?
“Thus we consider this case against the background of a profound national commitment to the
principle that debate on public issues should be uninhibited, robust, and wide-open, and that it may well
include vehement, caustic, and sometimes unpleasantly sharp attacks on government and public
officials. (Brennan)â€
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9. 11-08-2008 06:43 PM #39
boscoe
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I swear it was a case of mistaken identity! All pugs look a like. Honest.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
[/COLOR]
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