Exemplar Candidate Work ENGLISH LANGUAGE

QualificationAccredited

GCSE (9-1)

Exemplar Candidate Work

J351For first teaching in 2015

J351/01 Summer 2018 seriesVersion 1

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

www.ocr.org.uk/english

http://www.ocr.org.uk/english


2

GCSE (9-1) English Language

© OCR 2019

ContentsIntroduction 3

Exemplar 1 Grade 9/Mark 77 4








3


© OCR 2019

IntroductionThese exemplar answers have been chosen from the summer 2018 examination series.

OCR is open to a wide variety of approaches and all answers are considered on their merits. These exemplars, therefore, should not be seen as the only way to answer questions but do illustrate how the mark scheme has been applied.

Please always refer to the specification https://www.ocr.org.uk/Images/168996-specification-accredited-gcse-english-language-j351.pdf for full details of the assessment for this qualification. These exemplar answers should also be read in conjunction with the sample assessment materials and the June 2018 Examiners’ report or Report to Centres available from Interchange https://interchange.ocr.org.uk/Home.mvc/Index

The question paper, mark scheme and any resource booklet(s) will be available on the OCR website from summer 2019. Until then, they are available on OCR Interchange (school exams officers will have a login for this and are able to set up teachers with specific logins – see the following link for further information http://www.ocr.org.uk/administration/support-and-tools/interchange/managing-user-accounts/).

It is important to note that approaches to question setting and marking will remain consistent. At the same time OCR reviews all its qualifications annually and may make small adjustments to improve the performance of its assessments. We will let you know of any substantive changes.

https://www.ocr.org.uk/Images/168996-specification-accredited-gcse-english-language-j351.pdf



https://interchange.ocr.org.uk/Home.mvc/Index

https://interchange.ocr.org.uk/Home.mvc/Index

http://www.ocr.org.uk/administration/support-and-tools/interchange/managing-user-accounts/




4


© OCR 2019

Questions 1-6Exemplar 1 Grade 9/Mark 77


5


© OCR 2019


6


© OCR 2019


7


© OCR 2019


8


© OCR 2019


9


© OCR 2019


10


© OCR 2019


11


© OCR 2019


12


© OCR 2019


13


© OCR 2019

Examiner commentaryQuestion 1 (4 marks)

These are good accurate responses but they should be expressed more concisely to save time. The candidate repeats the same point in different words in 1b and 1c.

Question 2 (6 marks)

A well-organised response that identifies suitable similarities. The candidate could have saved time by omitting the final sentence of each paragraph which, in each paragraph, simply reiterates the point made in the first sentence of the paragraph. Where quotations and evidence are self-explanatory, there is no need for further comment at the end of the paragraph.


The opening sentence of this response gives a good clear overview of the structure of the text. The candidate then takes a useful approach to the rest of the text by working through it sentence by sentence showing how they build on each other and picking out significant uses of language on the way. There is a little cross-reference such as the contrast between ’bubbled over’ and ‘riveted’ but more of this would have supported a higher mark.

Question 4 (AO3 - 6 marks and AO4 - 12 marks)

The introduction in the first sentence is very basic and the first paragraph identifies a straightforward contrast – they are interested in the natural world for different reasons. Many candidates carried over the idea of ‘fascination’ or interest from Question 3 into Question 4 and failed to note that it was a different question with a different focus. There is a thorough and well-supported discussion of how long-lasting the effects of the natural world are in each text. The candidate explores different aspects of the two texts and rounds the discussion off with a clear conclusion.


14


© OCR 2019

Question 6 (AO5 – 24 marks and AO6 – 15 marks)

The candidate clearly understands the need to persuade the audience and locates the audience clearly by making several references to ‘your children’. The candidate has used a calm thoughtful style and organised their ideas into a clear sequence of paragraphs. Sentences are varied and well-managed with suitable punctuation within the sentence to guide the reader’s understanding. The final one sentence paragraph does, however, seem rather anticlimactic.


15


© OCR 2019

Exemplar 2 Grade 8/Mark 61


16


© OCR 2019


17


© OCR 2019


18


© OCR 2019


19


© OCR 2019


20


© OCR 2019


21


© OCR 2019


22


© OCR 2019


23


© OCR 2019


24


© OCR 2019


Good accurate responses which could have been more concise. It would be enough for 1b to say that they differed in colour and size without being any more specific as the question begins ‘explain’.


The first two similarities are valid even if the evidence is not always secure but the third similarity – they both ‘have influences in the reasons why they enjoyed’ – is not clearly expressed.


There are elements in this response of both ‘clear’ and ‘developed’ explanation but the explanations are not always persuasive enough. For example, the candidate explains clearly that the phrase ‘bubbled over’ compares Bert to a pot on the boil but the comment that this shows he is ‘on edge’ is not developed enough to gain credit.


The candidate makes a clear evaluation of both texts. Although the words/ ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ are vague, they successfully frame a discussion about how the writers present the experiences of the natural world. For example, the candidate successfully contrasts the ‘bright, happy adjectives’ with the battle imagery of Text 2. They are awarded a mark of 4 for comparison because of this kind of detailed comparison of how the writers presented their ideas.


This response is stronger on purpose than audience. There are some references to audience being frustrated about the lack of detail of how the narrator fell and a comment at the end about what readers can learn. It is, nonetheless, a well written and effective piece with well-chosen vocabulary and controlled sentence structure which deserves marks in the highest bands.


25


© OCR 2019



26


© OCR 2019


27


© OCR 2019


28


© OCR 2019


29


© OCR 2019


30


© OCR 2019


31


© OCR 2019


32


© OCR 2019


33


© OCR 2019


34


© OCR 2019


A good example of how to respond concisely and accurately, especially for 1b.


The candidate identifies three appropriate similarities and provides suitable evidence from the texts for each one.


By organising the response around the development of the paragraphs the candidate does demonstrate a good understanding of how the writer has shown Bert’s growing fascination. For example he shows how the detailed description of the ants then leads to Bert being ‘riveted’ by their appearance. Many candidates felt it was enough to refer to the flea that fed on Bert’s blood but that was information point rather than a presentation point. This candidate, instead, correctly focuses in on the use of the word ‘guest’ as being the most significant part of that description of the flea.


This response is unfortunately incomplete. The candidate selects some relevant quotations which show the similarities between the texts but does not explore the differences in enough detail. There are many relevant quotations but they are often too long and are not examined closely by the candidate to demonstrate why they are powerful descriptions of the effects of the natural world.


The candidate’s style effectively describes the grandparents and what happened to them. There is, however, very little sense of an online audience of young people being addressed. The response begins well with some detailed descriptions such as ‘launching myself on to his beer belly’ but most of the text is straightforward. Towards the end the candidate seems to lose control of paragraphing and the ending is rather flat and unconvincing. It would have been more effective to leave out the two last paragraphs and end with ‘…the most beautiful ones.’ Devising an effective ending and knowing when to stop are key skills for students to develop.


35


© OCR 2019



36


© OCR 2019


37


© OCR 2019


38


© OCR 2019


39


© OCR 2019


40


© OCR 2019


41


© OCR 2019


42


© OCR 2019


43


© OCR 2019


44


© OCR 2019


45


© OCR 2019


The responses to 1a and 1b are concise and accurate.


Only one good clear similarity is identified and supported by relevant evidence. The third similarity – ‘think about the natural world in more detail’ – is too vague to be worthy of credit.


The candidate spends too much of this response referring to information in the text that shows Bert’s growing fascination such as allowing a flea to feed on his blood. In a question about the writer’s use of language and structure such points can gain no credit.


The initial discussion works steadily through the similarities and differences between the two texts. The response focuses at great length on how temporary or long-lasting the effect of the experience was. The last section tries to compare the presentation of each text and deserves some credit for exploring each text’s use of similes. A more productive approach would be to consider the overall presentation which the similes represent, i.e. the comparison to humanity in Text 1 and the scientific interest in insects for their own sake in Text 2.


The candidate has a very clear sense of the purpose of the text. The style is cool and rational rather than passionate and persuasive and the candidate considers both sides of the argument. There are clear connectives and new paragraphs used to manage the main stages of the argument but the larger paragraphs could have been broken down even further for greater clarity. Although there are some errors in spelling and punctuation the candidate uses sentence structures very effectively to control the flow of ideas.


46


© OCR 2019



47


© OCR 2019


48


© OCR 2019


49


© OCR 2019


50


© OCR 2019


51


© OCR 2019


52


© OCR 2019


53


© OCR 2019


54


© OCR 2019


55


© OCR 2019


56


© OCR 2019


The responses to all three questions are accurate but they could be more concise. For example, the command word ‘explain’ means that the response can be given in the candidate’s own words.


The response is clear, well-organised and accurate. The reference to war is not relevant because it is not linked directly to an experience of the natural world.


This response contains some good examples of ‘clear understanding’ but is not consistent enough for the highest mark in Level 3. Commenting on the writer’s description of the ants being ‘caught in the sunlight’ as ‘romanticised’ is clearer than saying that it is a positive description but the candidate would need to explain why to show ‘developed understanding’.


The opening paragraph may help the candidate to get going but does little more than repeat the question. Although there are some phrases suggesting connections between the two texts – ‘huge impact … especially Bert in Text 2’ – the comparisons are not explicit enough for 2 marks to be awarded. Some relevant material is selected but the comments are not always clearly connected to the question; for example, Thoreau ‘thinking for the rest of the day’ shows ‘how much time thoughts about the natural world can take up’.


The response has a clear beginning and ending but the intervening paragraphs are not organised in a clear order that develops an argument. There is a secure sense of who the audience is and the style adopted is strongly persuasive. Sentence structure is sometimes used effectively but this mainly consists of three-part lists and rhetorical questions. Spelling is generally accurate but the candidate should make more use of punctuation within the sentence to mark off subordinate clauses.


57


© OCR 2019



58


© OCR 2019


59


© OCR 2019


60


© OCR 2019


61


© OCR 2019


62


© OCR 2019


63


© OCR 2019


64


© OCR 2019


65


© OCR 2019


66


© OCR 2019


The responses to 1a and 1b are accurate and concise.


Although this candidate does make some valid links, the response is very disorganised and the assessor has to do a lot of work to find the similarities the candidate is describing. Nonetheless the candidate does identify three relevant similarities but only provides suitable evidence for two of them.

Question 3 (AO2 - 3 marks)

The first part of this response is about the information given by Wilson about Bert’s family which cannot be credited in a question about language and structure. There is, however, some understanding shown in the attempt to engage with the meanings of the word ‘frantically’ and the ‘abrupt stop’ caused by the two exclamative sentences in the first paragraph of the specified lines.


There is just enough comparison here to award 2 marks; the candidate writes that ‘in text 2 there is a clear outcome as Bert is sure he would like to pursue a career in biology’. A comparative term - e.g. Bert is clearer than Thoreau - would have been better. There is some use of adjectives and comparatives for evaluation, e.g. Bert is ‘ecstatic’ and ‘Text 2 is more subtle’ but it is not consistent enough for any mark higher than 3.


This response has a balance of strengths and weaknesses. A sense of an audience is created by the candidate referring to them at several points throughout the text. The style adopted is clear and formal but there is very little descriptive detail to bring the characters and events described more vividly to life. The candidate uses some complex vocabulary and almost always spells it correctly but the sentences sometimes lack control and the punctuation within and between the sentences is not accurate enough. Overall, the text is quite engaging but lacks the structure and detail that would it fully effective.


67


© OCR 2019



68


© OCR 2019


69


© OCR 2019


70


© OCR 2019


71


© OCR 2019


72


© OCR 2019


73


© OCR 2019


74


© OCR 2019


75


© OCR 2019


76


© OCR 2019


77


© OCR 2019


78


© OCR 2019


The responses are accurate but could be much more concise.


The candidate unfortunately does not seem to fully understand what the question requires. There is a detailed description of the first text and some commentary on the use of the word ‘fiercely’ before an unsuccessful attempt is made to link this discussion with the second text’s references to war.


The opening comments about the exclamations showing how Bert is ‘falling in love’ with the natural world show straightforward understanding. It is not quite precise enough but it goes beyond a description of content. The comments about the use of adjectives in the next section, however, are about the generalised effect of adjectives rather than their specific effect in this particular text and so cannot be rewarded. The precise selection of quotation does show some awareness of language, however, which is why a mark in Level 2 has been awarded.


A good opening paragraph explains very clearly the different degrees to which each text agrees with the statement. There is some potentially good evaluation when the candidate identifies the ‘key moment’ in the text and explains how Text 1 is more about the ants than the person. Too much of the response, however, is generalised or unclear for the candidate to be awarded a higher mark.


This is a good example of writing in an appropriate style with a clear structure. There is a clear sense of the purpose of the talk and repeated reference to the audience. Spelling is generally accurate but there are mistakes with more ambitious words. The reason for a mark of 6 for AO6 is the lack of control of punctuation between sentences. Overall, the response addresses the task successfully but the level of inaccuracy distracts from its merits.

The

smal

l pri

nt

We’d like to know your view on the resources we produce. By clicking on the ‘Like’ or ‘Dislike’ button you can help us to ensure that our resources work for you. When the email template pops up please add additional comments if you wish and then just click ‘Send’. Thank you.

Whether you already offer OCR qualifications, are new to OCR, or are considering switching from your current provider/awarding organisation, you can request more information by completing the Expression of Interest form which can be found here: www.ocr.org.uk/expression-of-interest

OCR Resources: the small printOCR’s resources are provided to support the delivery of OCR qualifications, but in no way constitute an endorsed teaching method that is required by OCR. Whilst every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of the content, OCR cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions within these resources. We update our resources on a regular basis, so please check the OCR website to ensure you have the most up to date version.

This resource may be freely copied and distributed, as long as the OCR logo and this small print remain intact and OCR is acknowledged as the originator of this work.

Our documents are updated over time. Whilst every effort is made to check all documents, there may be contradictions between published support and the specification, therefore please use the information on the latest specification at all times. Where changes are made to specifications these will be indicated within the document, there will be a new version number indicated, and a summary of the changes. If you do notice a discrepancy between the specification and a resource please contact us at: [email protected].

OCR acknowledges the use of the following content: Square down and Square up: alexwhite/Shutterstock.com

Please get in touch if you want to discuss the accessibility of resources we offer to support delivery of our qualifications: [email protected]

OCR is part of Cambridge Assessment, a department of the University of Cambridge. For staff training purposes and as part of our quality assurance programme your call may be recorded or monitored.

© OCR 2019 Oxford Cambridge and RSA Examinations is a Company Limited by Guarantee. Registered in England. Registered office The Triangle Building, Shaftesbury Road, Cambridge, CB2 8EA. Registered company number 3484466. OCR is an exempt charity.

General qualificationsTelephone 01223 553998Facsimile 01223 552627Email [email protected]

www.ocr.org.uk

OCR Customer Support Centre

Looking for a resource?There is now a quick and easy search tool to help find free resources for your qualification:

www.ocr.org.uk/i-want-to/find-resources/

mailto:resources.feedback%40ocr.org.uk?subject=I%20liked%20the%20GCSE%20English%20Language%20J351/01%20Summer%202018%20examination%20series%0D

mailto:resources.feedback%40ocr.org.uk?subject=I%20disliked%20the%20GCSE%20English%20Language%20J351/01%20Summer%202018%20examination%20series%0D

http://www.ocr.org.uk/expression-of-interest

mailto:resources.feedback%40ocr.org.uk?subject=

mailto:resources.feedback%40ocr.org.uk?subject=

mailto:general.qualifications%40ocr.org.uk?subject=

www.ocr.org.uk

http://www.ocr.org.uk/i-want-to/find-resources/

Exemplar Candidate Work ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Documents