ER 8 EE - Costambar Monthly

NOVEMBER 2018 FREE

FIND US ATCOSTAMBAR

Jenny’s Market

Sam’s Bar at Loase

El Carey Bar/Restaurant

PUERTO PLATA

Big Lee’s Beach Bar

Barco’s

Supermercado Jose Luis (27 de febrero)

LAS ROCAS

Los Tres Cocos

COFRESI

Los Charros

Ocean World Marina

What To Do This MonthDefinitely Not The NewsThe Rainy Day PageUseful Telephone NumbersClassified AdsAnd Lots More Fun Stuff!

IN EVERY ISSUE

FULL MOONNOVEMBER 23

THIS MONTH’S WEATHER

NOV 23 NOV 11

NOV 11

NOV 6

NOV 16A DAY WITHOUT

LAUGHTER… IS A

DAY WASTED

Costambar Monthly page 2

Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to trysomething different. Call 809-993-4503 for moreinformation. Fine dining at it’s best!

Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon hasfantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish& Chips, big juicy burgers and yummysandwiches. Karaoke Saturday November 3rd,Friday November 16 and Saturday December 1stand 20th - starts 7:30 pm and ends 11:30 pm.Renee’s Beach Cafe will be reopening thismonth.

Sam’s Bar at Loase reopens for the season onNovember 2 with Lesly’s great food and party toget the season going! They have theirThanksgiving Feast on November 22 - RD$1000 orRD$500 for kids 10 and under - prepaidreservations only - must be paid by November20.

Planning an event or get together? Try Away DayCountry Park. They offer separate areas foryour group and an outdoor kitchen to cook yourown food! Lots of water and outdoor activitiesto keep every member of your party happy. Thismonth on Weds, Thurs or Friday get 10% off yourbill of RD$1000 or more! And for the winterseason you can enjoy a day pass includingentrance and fixed menu for only RD$300!

El Carey Bar/Restaurant have RD$50 cuba libresMonday to Saturday from 3pm to 7pm andSundays from 5pm to 7pm. Now open Mondaysfrom 2pm! New to the menu - Fish Burgers!!

Barco’s invites you to come enjoy a greatbreakfast on the Malecon! Breakfast from 8amincludes one coffee and one juice!

WHAT TO DO THIS MONTH

AMBER COVE SCHEDULE

www.costambarmonthly.com

Los Charros in Cofresi is holding a ThanksgivingFeast on November 22. Enjoy a full turkeydinner with fixings for RD$595 plus tax. RSVPrequired.

There will be a ‘Decorate for DCDR’ fundraiseron November 24 at Seahorse Condos. Lots ofgreat Christmas decorations available at greatprices! Satisfy your love of shopping, Christmasand doing good all at the same time!

SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS!THEY MAKE COSTAMBAR

MONTHLY POSSIBLE!


Open Every Day at 9am - 3rd caseta from La Sirena

SAT NOV 3rd & FRI NOV 16th

& SAT DEC 17:30 PM START

GOES UNTIL 11:30 PM

CoffeeCappuccinosFrappuccinos

PastriesOpen 7:30am to 2pm

Renee’s Beach Cafe isOPEN AGAIN IN NOVEMBER!

SPECIAL OFFER FOR NOVEMBER10% OFF ALL BILLS OVER RD$1000

ON WEDNESDAYS, THURSDAYS AND FRIDAYS!

Great Food at Great Prices!

Swimming Pool, paddling pool and paddling pool forbabies, two trampolines, bouncer and swings.

Bar Restaurant, mini zip lines, paintball battle and target shooting.Plenty of shade under our four kiosks!

Always available for parties with your own area!Outdoor kitchen available to cook for yourself!

We suggest booking in advance for Sundays!

Los Campines,Maimon, Puerto Plata

Open daily10 a.m. until 6 p.m.

Telephone 809 973 4824

A married man was having an affair with hissecretary. One day, their passions overcame themin the office and they took off for her house.Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fellasleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the manthrew on his clothes, he told the woman to takehis shoes outside and rub them through the grassand dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied andhe slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Wherehave you been?" demanded his wife when heentered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "Ican't lie to you. I've been having an affair with mysecretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wakeup until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down athis shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playinggolf!"

Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' thedivorce Court Judge said, 'and I've decided to give yourwife $775 a week,''That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'and everynow and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'


ROOMS FOR RENT ON ADAILY OR WEEKLY BASIS.CALL JOSE 809-837-6845OR L’OASE 809-970-7861

WWW.LOASE.COM

CostambarDominican Republic

www.samsbardr.comwww.loase.com

809-970-7861809-837-6845

[email protected]@SamsBarDR

CostambarEntrance

Yenny’s Market

*not to scale

COME CELEBRATE FRIDAY NOVEMBER 2!We will reopen with Lesly’s great food and a party from noon till late

Let’s get this season going!THURSDAY NOVEMBER 22

SAM’S THANKSGIVING DAY FEASTTurkey and all the fixings just like Grandma used to make!

Prepaid reservation by Nov 20. RD$1000. Kids under 10 RD$500Includes welcome drink. No walk ins. Two seatings - 2pm & 5pm

HOURSTuesday to Saturday

Noon to 8pmSunday 11am-4pm

Monday closed


INTERNATIONAL GOURMETCUISINE

&AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES

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The Best in Town!Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto Plata

Cell:829-661-1448/Restaurant:809 970 3341

NOW OPEN MONDAYS FROM 2PM!

El Carey

NEW ON THE MENUFISH BURGERS!

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammatesinform him, "At your first team dinner as the newguy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." Theevening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorousaccount of his sex life. When he got home, his wifeasked how the evening went and not wanting tolie, but also not wanting to explain exactly whathappened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk aboutyachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar butsaid nothing more and went to sleep. The next dayshe bumped into one of his new teammates at thesupermarket and asked, "I heard my husband hadto make a speech last night. How did it go?" Hismate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Yourhusband is clearly very experienced!." The wifelooked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange,he has only done it twice and the second time hewas sick."


Enjoy a great breakfast on the Malecon!From 8am

One coffee and one juice included

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's'and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments.Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So,in middle Tennessee they translated the'King James' into ' Jackson County ' language.....nojoke!(posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church inGainesboro, TN).

(1) Just one God(2) Put nothin' before God(3) Watch yer mouth(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa(6) No killin'(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal(8) Don't take what ain't yers(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff


Casa Mia, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pmPedro’s Bar, Costambar 6:30pm

Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr809-904-8535/809-543-2155

[email protected]

RD$2210 Includes DentalRD$2625 with Drugs

Tuesday Nov 6 & Dec 4

PROFESSIONAL MASSAGETherapeutic MassageSport MassageDeep Tissue MassageTrigger Point MassageLymph Massage/DrainageRelaxation MassageLaser TherapyPain Management

My Job Search!!

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juicefactory, but I got canned . Couldn't concentrate . 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe . 3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn'tsuited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job. 4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, butthat was too exhausting. 5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would adda little spice to my life, but just didn't have thethyme. 6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but anyway I sliced it.... I couldn't cut the mustard. 7. My best job was a Musician, but eventuallyfound I wasn't noteworthy. 8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, butdidn't have any patience. 9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hardbut just didn't fit in. 10. I became a Professional Fisherman, butdiscovered I couldn't live on my net income.11. Managed to get a good job working for a PoolMaintenance Company, but the work was just toodraining.12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, butthey said I wasn't fit for the job.13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realizedthere was no future in it.14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but hadto quit because it was the same old grind.15 . SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'MPERFECT FOR THE JOB!Best job I've ever had, if I only had the time andenergy to do everything I want to get done in aday!!! Whoever said being retired would be boring!


Karaoke Tropical

SOUND RENTAL

THE MOST INTERNATIONAL!For Any Event of Your Choice

With Animation in Various LanguagesLarge screen, Plasma screen & Light Effects

809-204-4172Email [email protected]

OPEN DAILY (INCLUDING HOLIDAYS)Mon-Sat 8am-10pm Sundays 8am-8pm

Everything you need from snacks to supper!Delivery Service Available!

Calle Principal, Costambar (just inside the gate)809-970-3028

Decorate for DCDRChristmas Fundraiser and Sale

9 am - noonSaturday, November 24th

Sea Horse CondosCondo #6 and PatioCalle Guayacanes

Costambar(Up the hill from Jenny's Market and second right)

Judy Palmer and Trina Dobreff will host a "Decorate for DCDRChristmas Fundraiser and Sale" with proceeds to benefit theCostambar outreach efforts. Items for sale will include unique andheirloom ornaments, many sets of Christmas ornaments (somenever used), several small Christmas trees, many stuffed Christmasbears and other animals, wrapping paper, gift boxes and bags,assorted ribbons and pine cones, and many strings of white andmulti-color Christmas light, garland and many custom Christmasdoor wreaths--also a 5 foot dancing karaoke bear with microphone.Most items 100 to 500 pesos!For more information or to add your own holiday decorations to thesale, contact Judy Palmer, [email protected] or message her onFacebook. You can also call Trina Dobreff at 829-841-6886.

Costambar DramaClub Presents

Snow White, 3 Dwarfs &3 Apprentices

Loase ResortCostamabar

February 16 20197:30pm

Show & Buffet RD$650Show Only RD$250

Under 10 years RD$400& RD$150

All proceeds to localGood causes

Starring: Sylvia McGinnis, Ken Fisher,Mal Garbutt, Deanna Koeckeritz, MikeKingdon, Cori Habkirk,Josie Hughes,Raimon Alcantera, Lev Habkirk, Kelvin,Estefani & Miguel and Sheerlyn Lahoz asSnow White.

[email protected] 809 445 2059

Tickets from cast members


SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 10SUDOKU PUZZLESFill in the missing numbers so every row, columnand quadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

80s SONGS

Across1. Evolve5. Windstorm6. One more7. PropositionDown1. Diminish2. Wordy3. Tanned animal skin4. Computer

instructions

Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid.The remaining letters spell a hidden message

THE RAINY DAY PAGE

EASY

MEDIUM

ABRACADABRAALLENTOWNALONEAMANDAANGELBATDANCEBILLIE JEANCARSCELEBRATIONCHERISHCOME DANCINGCONGACOOL NIGHTCRYINGDANGER ZONEDESIRE

DRIVEFAITHFIRE LAKEFOOTLOOSEFUNKY TOWNHEARTLIGHTHELLOHIMHOLD ONJEOPARDYJESSEJUMPKEY LARGOKISSKYRIELADY

LEGSLONGERLOVE BITESLOVE SHACKLUKAMAGICMANEATERMANIACMICKEYMR. ROBOTONASTYNIGHTSHIFTOH SHERRIEPHYSICALPRIVATE EYES

RAPTUREROSANNASARASLEDGEHAMMERSMALL TOWNSUDDENLYSWEET DREAMSTAINTED LOVETIMEUPTOWN GIRLURGENTVALERIEVENUSYOU AREYOUNG TURKS


ALL THE NEWS THAT ISN’T THE NEWS

So, let’s start with some ‘the more things change, the more they stay the same’ stories.

Yet again the disgusting open air landfill on the highway and close to the Amber Cove cruise terminal has beenordered to be closed down. How many years has this been going on for? How many times are we told it will beclosed and relocated to somewhere else?

Well, about as many times as we’ve been told the construction of the new Puerto Plata-Navarette highwaywould soon be completed. It has been at a standstill now for months and the frustration of the population isgrowing. A dangerous enough road in its old condition is now a danger due to being left incomplete.

And maybe as many times as we’ve been told that the slowly deteriorating Puerto Plata port will be revampedand start once again hosting cruise ships that may truly benefit businesses in the area. It’s once again in thenews saying it is close to happening.

But in good news, a concerted effort is being made to clean up Luperon Bay of the years and years ofaccumulated garbage that has collected in the environmentally sensitive and beneficial mangroves. It is a hugetask intended to benefit the marine life that depend on the mangrove for survival. Much of the trash runs intothe bay from rivers that collect it in neighbourhoods on the way down.

And it’s time for a heads up that the marbete or car licence is once again due. You have until January 7 torenew your sticker. The prices are the same - RD$1500 for vehicles older than 5 years and RD$3000 for newervehicles. There will be an additional fee if renewed late and the office to renew will only be open until earlyFebruary. If caught with an expired marbete you will incur hefty fines and towing of your vehicle.

You’ll start to notice a population explosion on the North Coast in the coming months. High season is upon us!And I’d like to take a moment to encourage you to do two things. First, there will be lots of activities with thepurpose of fundraising for many local initiatives from kids to dogs and more. I encourage you to participateand support these efforts to whatever extent you can - it may seem only large donations etc are appreciatedbut I can assure you that in places like the DR every peso is appreciated and can be put to use and everyvolunteer hour makes a difference. Secondly, support our advertisers when possible. They really are whatkeeps CM going - let them know you appreciate their support of CM by supporting them. CM’s mission is tokeep a community spirit in our part of the North Coast and to give businesses, especially small businesses, anaffordable place to advertise their goods and services and let people know they exist. In a world that can oftenseem so divisive lately let’s all show support of one another here in our piece of paradise! It matters!

CM’S DEFINITELY NOT THE NEWS!Because rumour, gossip, hearsay and anecdotes are just sooo much more fun!

This page is basically tidbits about life here on the North Coast. Things that affect us. Things that amuse us. Things that annoy us.None of it is hard core journalism. It’s what we’ve heard, seen and experienced. Feel free to email us [email protected] with updates, clarifications, corrections or whatever.And keep in mind - we are not claiming that this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! It’s just a glimpse ofwhat’s happening and sometimes a bit of fun! Don’t take it too seriously!

Don’t forget to check out our website at costambarmonthly.com and our Facebook page@costambarmonthly to keep up with all the latest news that isn’t news! Except to us!


HIDDEN MESSAGEI STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT

I'M LOOKING FOR

SOLUTIONS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 8

COSTAMBAR MONTHLY AD RATESThe Best Value for your Advertising Peso!NEW RATES EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 2015

Contact Us809-970-7507/[email protected]

EASY MEDIUM

[email protected]

YOU KNOW YOU’VE LIVED HEREA LONG TIME WHEN…

WHEN A FRIDGEON A MOTOSEEMS NORMAL!!

Photo courtesy of Cori Habkirk


How do you get a birdto go to court?

Suet


Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only beplaced by emailing [email protected] calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items.Commercial properties or enterprises (including realestate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds willusually be run for one month only unless we are otherwisenotified. Please limit the length of your ads to no more thanapprox. 10 lines!!!

CLASSIFIEDSPolice Office 809-320-8510

Police Car 809-320-8840

APC Office 809-970-7877

APC Gate Security 809-970-7015

Codetel 809-220-1111

Edenorte - emergency 809-261-1844

Edenorte - office 809-586-9823

Costambar Taxi Stand 809-970-7318

Canada 809-586-5761

Britain 809-586-4244

U.S.A. 809-586-4204

German 809-586-6995

Italian 809-320-7601

Clinica Bournigal 809-586-2342

Clinica Brugal 809-586-2519

Los Tropicos Pharmacy 809-970-7607

USEFUL NUMBERS


WANTEDLooking for secondhand/used suitcases.Call 8009-988-1322

FOR SALEPortable AC perfect for hot summer days, 12.000 btu cools downeven bigger rooms up to 500 square feet. Works with regular110 volts and comes with exhaust pipe. Working just fine.Price 250 USD. Located in Puerto Plata.Email [email protected]

FOR SALELove Christmas? Love to shop? Love helping out good causes?Then come to the Decorate for DCDR Christmas Fundraiser!Tons of awesome and unique Christmas decorations for salewith proceeds going to Costambar DCDR outreach programs.Don’t miss it!! See our ad on page 7. Lots of great deals!

[email protected]


ATTENTION BOATERS!NOW AVAILABLE!

Blue Water Antifouling PaintAblative and hard

ANTIFOULING ONLY US$100INCLUDES DELIVERY

AlsoTopside paint and varnish

All at U.S. Prices!

Call 809-449-1819 orEmail [email protected]

For details and orders

NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE U.S.!Genuine Sunbrella marine fabricdelivered from RD$920 per yard

Call/WhatsApp Alison 849-847-3638

BOATINSURANCE

● ANY AGE BOAT● ANY USAGE● SURVEY NOT NORMALLY REQUIRED● WORLDWIDE

CALL COLIN809-449-1819

OR EMAIL FOR [email protected]

CLEAR FIBERGLASS3 GALLON

PROPANE CYLINDER TANKIDEAL FOR BOATS

ONLY RD$2300Tanks & valves are brand new

Made in the USAAlways know how much gas you get or have left!

Lightweight & rustproof!CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get hiscustomers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish forsale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears thisand asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish atthe local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takesthem home to his wife, and asks her to cook thedam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn'tknow it was acceptable for a preacher to speakthat way." He explains to her why they are damfish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son topass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit,Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressedgentleman as he watched an old man fish in apuddle outside a pub. So he invited the old maninside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys,the gentleman thought he’d humor the old manand asked, “So how many have you caughttoday?”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

The graveside service just barely finished, whenthere was massive clap of thunder, followed by atremendous bolt of lightening, accompanied byeven more thunder rumbling in the distance.The little old lady looked at the pastor and calmlysaid, 'Well, he got there!'


Rivergate Condo Rentals

Santo Domingo

Studio and one bedroom apartmentsFor short and/or long-term rental

Amenities● Fully furnished● Kitchen utensils & linens● 24 hour electricity● Air conditioning● Internet● Local calling

Calle 19 de Marzo #103, Colonial Zone, Sto. Dgo.809-686-1163 ext. 0/809-284-0212/829-391-8159

[email protected]: Rivergate Condos

● Cable TV● Security & cameras● Card entry system● On-site gym● Weekly cleaning● Laundry room

IN THE CENTER OF THE COLONIAL ZONE, THEHISTORIC CAPITAL OF THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.

CLOSE TO CALLE CONDE, PARQUE COLON ANDTHE MALECON

SPECIAL RATES FOR COSTAMBAR MONTHLYREADERS - FROM US$50 PER NIGHT!

A sweet grandmother Telephoned St. Joseph'sHospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speakto someone who can tell me how a patient isdoing?"The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What'sthe name and room number of the patient?"The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voicesaid, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."The operator replied, "Let me put you on holdwhile I check with the nurse's station for thatroom."After a few minutes, the operator returned to thephone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse justtold me that Norma is doing well. Her bloodpressure is fine; her blood work just came backnormal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, hasscheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."The grandmother said, "Thank you. That'swonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for thegood news."The operator replied, "You're more than welcome.Is Norma your daughter?"The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay inRoom 302. No one tells me shit."


65 Guayacannes, Costambar809-970-7197/809-844-0684

[email protected]

ONCE YOU’VE SEEN THE REST…

STAY AT THE BEST!!

FOR RENT/FOR SALE14 CONDOS - 1,2,3 BEDROOM

Ocean View Condominiums

Fenced corner lot with a three bedroom, onebathroom home in University City/Cafemba.Home designed and constructed for secondlevel. Beautiful views from second floor.Comes with cistern and has a storage space atthe back of the house. The lot is 547 squaremeters. US$40,000

FOR SALE

CONTACT MARIO OR JORGEWHATSAPP 1-604-771-5512 809-851-7840

The Blonde Mortician!

A man who'd just died is delivered to a localmortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailoredblack suit.The female blonde mortician asks the deceased'swife how she would like the body dressed. Shepoints out that the man does look good in theblack suit he is already wearing.The widow, however, says that she alwaysthought her husband looked his best in blue, andthat she wants him in a blue suit. She gives theBlonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don'tcare what it costs, but please have my husband ina blue suit for the viewing.'The woman returns the next day for the wake. Toher delight, she finds her husband dressed in agorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; thesuit fits him perfectly...She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'mvery satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'mvery grateful. How much did you spend?'To her astonishment, the blonde morticianpresents her with the blank check.'There's no charge,' she says.'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost ofthat exquisite blue suit!' she says.'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.You see, a deceased gentleman of about yourhusband's size was brought in shortly after youleft yesterday, and he was wearing an attractiveblue suit.I asked his wife if she minded him going to hisgrave wearing a black suit instead, and she said itmade no difference as long as he looked nice.''So I just switched the heads!'


ONLY FOR COSTAMBAR MONTHLY READERS!EXPERIENCE A PREMIER

CATAMARAN EXCURSIONAT A FANTASTIC PRICE!

A FULL DAYOCEAN ADVENTURE

INCLUDINGTRANSPORTATION

FOOD & DRINKSSNORKLING GEAR

FUN & RELAXATION

ONLY US$65IF BOOKED THROUGHCOSTAMBAR MONTHLY!

CONTACT CINDY809-449-1820809-970-7507

[email protected]

WE HAVE SERIOUSBUYERS INQUIRING

DAILY ABOUTPROPERTIES INCOSTAMBAR

YOUR PROPERTY COULD BE THEIR CHOICE!!Call 829-898-0607 to list your property

[email protected]

ER 8 EE - Costambar Monthly

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