Equilibrium Magazine Issue 53 - Summer 2014-2

MAGAZINE FOR WELLBEING

SUM

MER

2014

ISSU

E 53

SUMMER Issue 53

>> Pride March 2014>> The Dreaded D Word>> Coping with Aspergers>> Understanding Stress>> Art, News & Reviews

EQUILIBRIUM 2

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Equilibrium PatronDr Liz Miller Mind Champion 2008

Photo copyright remains with all individual artists and Equilibrium. All rights reserved. 2011

Equilibrium is devised, created, and produced entirely by team members with experience of the mental health system.

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Design: www.parkegraphics.co.uk

Front cover: PRIDE March 2014

EQUILIBRIUM 3

contact usEquilibrium, Clarendon Recovery College, Clarendon Road, London, N8 ODJ. 02084894860, [email protected]. We are in the office on Friday afternoons 2.30-4.30, but you can leave a message at other times and we’ll get back to you.

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We hope the sun is shining for you and that you enjoy our Summer issue of Equilibrium. Packed

full of the usual news, reviews and opinion pieces, we’d again like to thank our guest contributors

and artists - do keep sending us your fantastic work! We’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue,

so go ahead and tweet us at @teamequilibrium. And if you’d like to join the team, contribute an

article or picture, or find out more, please do get in touch via [email protected].

Kate, Editor/Team Facilitator

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contributionsWanted: contributions to Equilibrium! Please email us with your news, views, poems, photos, plus articles. Anonymity guaranteed if required.

the teamFacilitator/ Editor: Kate Massey-Chase. Editorial team: Angela, Dev, Ian, Alan, Polly, Chrissie, Nigel.Graphic design: Anthony Parké.

Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM 4

Summer/ Issue 38Summer/ Issue 38 www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium EQUILIBRIUMEQUILIBRIUM 5

Since the 1970s, there has been a grow-

ing interest in the healthy diet. We have

been encouraged to eat e.g. more fruit

and vegetables (five a day, or more). In

England we have some diverse commu-

nities, and although there is a lot of

information about what nutrients you get

from the food that English people eat,

there is not a lot of information about the

nutrients you get from Caribbean food (I

am a black woman of Jamaican decent

which I’m very proud of!).

I remember when we first started talk-

ing about fibre in this country; we use

to call it roughage. You could not get

broccoli, kiwi fruit, lychee or star fruit,

but the media was very clever; as they

became available it encouraged you to

eat these new unusual fruit and vegeta-

bles by telling you about the health

benefits of these foods. You therefore

ended up spending more money on

fruit and vegetables by buying the fruit

and vegetables you normally eat plus

the new ones! The media also encour-

aged us to eat wholemeal bread and

breakfast cereals, like Weetabix, Bran-

flakes and All bran. High fibre foods are

very important as they can reduce heart

problems, improve the complexion,

reduce constipation, produce healthy

blood, boost the immune system give

you more energy, improve the sex drive,

and many other health benefits.

I was lucky enough to get free school

milk every morning. A lot of milk is

needed for the growing child. If you do

not drink enough milk as a child you will

get a bones disease in the legs called

Rickets, where the legs bend. When

Margaret Thatcher was the Secretary

of State for Education she took the milk

away (which is why she was called

‘Thatcher the Milk Snatcher’). Rickets

is also caused by not getting enough

sunlight.

When sailors from England went on

long distant voyages they used to get

scurvy, which causes sores around the

mouth, caused by a lack of vitamin C.

To prevent this they drank the juice from

limes. This is why they were given the

nick name Limeys!

Tropical fruit and vegetables grow in hot

places like the Caribbean and Africa.

It has to be transported to England for

What about Jamaican Food? Angela

Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM Summer/ Issue 38

the migrant people that live here, and

also because British people now eat them

too. Due the fact these fruit and vegeta-

bles have to be transported to England

from hot countries it does not retain the

original quality. There is a variety of foods

that grow in the Caribbean, some you

may have heard of: green banana, sweet

potatoes, mangoes, pineapples, ripe

banana, melon, plantain, coconut, yam;

and some you may not have: ackee,

breadfruit, cassava, cho cho, okra, dash-

een, genip. (Are you feeling hungry?!) I

do not know what vitamins and minerals

you get from these foods, as it’s not talked

about in the media, and I would like to

know more about them. There are a few

newspapers and magazines which are

targeted at the black community, such as

The Voice newspaper and Black Hair and

Beauty, but I have not seen them discuss

this subject. I would like to see more

information about Caribbean food in the

black newspapers and magazines

I went to Jamaica for a three week holi-

day in 1998 by Air Jamaica. Every morn-

ing we had a big breakfast which I call a

‘Full Jamaican’. I was given things like a

whole snapper fish, green bananas and

callaloo at 7am, and then noticed that

when I went out for the day, I did not feel

hungry. I did not eat anything until 7pm

in the evening. For this reason, I lost a lot

of weight by eating this fresh natural food

that comes from the island and I looked

lovely and slim (yes, I am showing off!).

My mummy looked after us very well in

England. We were not rich but we had a

hot dinner every evening; breakfast was

always cereal and toast; lunch was some-

thing like fish fingers, mash potatoes or

spaghetti. Sometimes we had Caribbean

food, for example ‘hard food’, which was

yam, green banana, potatoes, fish or

lamb. We always felt better after having

this kind of food. During the school holi-

days, my mum used to give us oranges

and cod liver oil. I can still taste the cod

liver oil from that big spoon, when I think

about it (Thanks, mummy!).

We are quite lucky in Britain to be able

to get a variety of food from all the four

corners of the world. It is good to know

about the nutrients in all foods, to contrib-

ute to a balanced diet. I think the Jamai-

can people have the right idea, because

I did not see a lot of overweight or obese

people there. The food in Jamaica is fresh

and high in nutrients, because it comes

from the island, so you don’t have to

snack on things like chocolate, sweets

and crisps.

Bon appetite!

EQUILIBRIUM 6

Summer/ Issue 38Summer/ Issue 38 www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium EQUILIBRIUM

Ingedients

1 tin of Ackee

1 packet of boneless cod saltfish

1 onion

1 tomato

Cooking oil

Black pepper

Method:

•Pour ackee into sieve to drain water

•Rinse with cold water

•Soak salt fish for one hour in a bowl of

water

•Throw the water away

•Boil in fresh water for 15 minutes

•Fry onions until soft

•Chop one tomatoe and add to onion

•Throw the water away and break salt fish

into small pieces

•Add to onion and tomatoe

•Stir gently

•Add ackee

•Add black pepper

•Gently stir

• Simmer for 10 minutes

You can buy above ingredients from : Ever Green Foods,16 Lymington Avenue, London N22 6JA

EQUILIBRIUM 7

MADE IN MINDArts event called Made in Mind, at the Warehouse in Waterloo on Friday 5th September

in aid of Mind.

There will be a mixed programme of talks, performance, art, film and live music on the

night and many of the artists involved have mental health issues at the forefront of their

work. We are aiming to provide a fresh and positive outlook on this topic.

More details about the event and the artists involved can be found via the links below:

www.facebook.com/madeinmindevents

www.virginmoneygiving.co.uk/team/madeinmind

www.twitter.com/_MadeInMind

Recipe for Ackee and Saltfish



National Nursing Shortage Dev

National Nursing Shortage

It’s now common knowledge that there is

a shortage of nurses in hospitals around

the UK. This causes lots of problems, such

as nurses having to double up their shifts,

potentially working 12 plus hours on a

low salary.

In many hospitals, nurses have to look

after 9 to 10 patients for 10+ hours, each

patient having a wide range of problems.

Nurses clean patients’ bodies, cope

with cardiac arrests, change beds, give

medicine and support the doctors, and

are doing that for many people for many

hours. I’m sure this could cause physi-

cal, physiological and social side effects

over time. The Royal College of Nursing

(RCN) urges ‘all hospitals to use new NICE

safe staffing guidelines for registered

nurse staffing levels, alongside nursing

staff expertise, to ensure staffing levels

are always based on patient need.’ But

these are just guidelines, and it could

mean some of these may be difficult to

implement because of the most common

answer: lack of staffing.

‘According to the most recent data, in

November 2013, the NHS was still short of

1,199 full time equivalent (FTE) registered

nurses compared with April 2010’ (BBC

News, 11 March 2014, ‘Worrying shortage

of senior NHS nurses’).

More nurses would make it easier to care

for patients with any type of complica-

tions and provide more support for exist-

ing nurses. Dr Peter Carter, RCN Chief

Executive & General Secretary at Univer-

sity College hospital, stated that ‘nursing

staff have long recognised the impor-

tance of safe staffing levels and consist-

ently provided evidence of the danger to

patients in areas where there are too few

staff.’ In other words, there is knowledge

within the field of the dangers of a lack

of nursing staff. I think it would be potent

for the “powers that be” to bring in more

locally trained nurses along side experi-

enced nurses both from UK and abroad

(saying this, nurses here in the UK go

through years and years of studying and

training before they become valuable

nurses in our hospital around the UK). The

NHS are now trying to get more nurses

by paying for the tuition fees of student

nurses and midwives and also giving

them a bursary, to try and attract more

people to choose it as a job.

Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM

In 2013 I had been diagnosed with

having Asperger’s Syndrome at 40 years

of age. I wasn’t surprised that I had

Asperger’s Syndrome, in fact I already

knew before my assessment results

were completed, because I always feel

different to everyone else in the world.

Times when I feel like an alien to this

planet, and always feel out of place and

socially awkward.

The reasoning behind my video was

a way to shout out to the world that I

have Asperger’s Syndrome. I wanted

this video to help myself overcome my

childhood’s trauma of being bullied at

school from both the teachers / lectur-

ers and pupils. I was always called the

lazy one, the day-dreamer, the worrier,

the person who doesn’t listen and the

person who struggles with maths, these

are just a few examples. I also felt the

need to get my message across to other

people with Asperger’s Syndrome and to

tell them that everything is alright, take

myself as an example, I am happy and

living my life to the full as possible and

trying to make a difference in the world.

For many years I felt different to other

people. I found that my colleagues at

work really irritated me. I have had so

many jobs in the past that I’ve lost count

of how many jobs that I have had. I’ve

been sacked a number of times from tell-

ing the managers that they were rubbish.

Obviously they were not happy, but I

was, telling them where to stick their job

felt liberating, only to then worry about

getting another job.

I always wanted to shut the world out,

it is nosey, confusing, tiring and literally

boring. I never can understand people’s

jokes neither can I do small talk. How

are you? My answer would be…why do

you want to know? What benefit would

you get if I told you that I was having a

bad day? Would you hug me?…Because

I wouldn’t be able to feel the love from

you. Neither would I think it was a genu-

ine hug, because I can’t feel your empa-

thy. Would you then talk to me about

your own mundane problems? I’ve learnt

just to reply, I’m fine thanks. But am I? I’m

not sure? What is fine anyway?

EQUILIBRIUM 10

ASPERGER’S SYNDROME: MY STORY

Summer/ Issue 38 EQUILIBRIUM 11

I did some research online about Asperg-

er’s Syndrome and I was surprised that

my assessment online scored very high.

Reading the questions at the time made

me realise that actually I have Asperger’s

Syndrome. I made an appointment with

my doctor and then I was referred to an

Asperger’s specialist. As soon as I found

out that I had Asperger’s Syndrome I

felt different. I was confused, scared,

worried, happy, excited and re-born all

at the same time. What was I feeling? I

felt that I lied to myself for 40 years by

making up a make believe world, and

suddenly my bubble had burst and now

I’m in a world that I do not recognise. I

questioned everything about myself, do I

feel happy? What does that feel like? Do

I recognise people’s facial expressions?

No, ok, I thought I could, but actually I

can’t. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry,

I wanted to scream to the world that I

have Asperger’s Syndrome and then I

thought no keep it quiet. These emotions

flooded my brain. I found myself star-

ing at people, and willing myself to

understand what were they feeling? But I

couldn’t.

My mind felt like it was ready to explode.

I started to look at my own body

language, actually I do prefer to sit on

my own on the bus, I do like to sit in a

quiet area in a coffee shop, I don’t like

people standing behind me, loud noises

makes me jump and annoyed, my sense

of smell is strong, why can I smell some-

thing quicker than anyone else? My

eyes hurt in bright lights. I feel awkward

in social situations, do I hug people? Do

I shake their hands? I stare at people to

try and pick up on all their cues, but how

can I? I don’t recognise people facial

expressions? So I just guess and hope

for the best, and if I make a mistake, I

laugh it off, pretend to be silly or make an

excuse that I am tired.

There is another reason why I made a

video. After researching online about

people’s stories about Asperger’s

Syndrome I did feel concerned. I believe

that there is a lot of negativity surround-

ing Asperger’s Syndrome. But in my view

it should be a positive one. People with

Asperger’s Syndrome are unique, in

some way’s super-human. For example,

I can hear someone annoyingly eating

a packet of crisps a long way away from

me. I personally now feel confident, posi-

tive and ready to conquer the world in a

good way. To all my Asperger’s friends,

please keep positive, live your life the

way that you want to live it, and be your-

self….LOVE yourself.

P.S. I have produced a video on You-Tube called “My World”. http://youtu.be/mURCk855p1Y

STEVAN EVELEIGH


Meeting up again on the Mersey

EQUILIBRIUM 12

Back in the seventies, I met a friend

of my friend Malcolm’s, called Jon. I

called on him one day as Malcolm

had told me he was leaving for a town

in the north to take up a job running a

hostel or something similar. I had only

known him for a short time but found

him a likeable character with a sense

of humour that was very upbeat, and

I wished him well in his new job and

thought that we probably wouldn’t

meet again.

Over the years, however, Malcolm

kept in touch with him and recently

asked if I remembered him. I did; he

was the sort of person you wouldn’t

forget as he was full of enthusiasm for

life. Malcolm explained that Jon had

been diagnosed with MS and was now

living in Liverpool, a city I had only a

distant recollection of en route to RAF

Jurby on the Isle of Man as a school

cadet. Malcolm asked me if I would

like to join him on a trip to Liverpool to

see Jon and I was delighted, as he had

crossed my mind over the years and I

wondered how he was coping with his

illness.

We took the train to Liverpool on a Day

Return ticket and as soon as we arrived

at Lime Street, Jon was there to meet

us. Malcolm had warned me that Jon

Summer/ Issue 38Summer/ Issue 38 www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium EQUILIBRIUMEQUILIBRIUM 25EQUILIBRIUM 13

was not as mobile as he was, but

thankfully Jon was still able to walk

and we promptly set off on a boat trip

across the Mersey to see the Royal

Liver building from the river. Jon was

still the likeable character I remem-

bered with his distinctive sense of

humour and we all three got on well

together, stopping off at a café where

I was able to taste a bowl of “scouse”

– like an irish stew – from where Liver-

pudleans get their slang name.

Jon had recently moved into a

wardened flat with a lovely view

down on the garden in a quiet suburb

and he seemed content. We talked

about times present and times past

and he introduced me to a German

music group I had never encoun-

tered, Tangerine Dream, and after-

wards he showed us to the station

where we could get back to Lime

Street and return to London.

I’m glad that Malcolm suggested the

trip and it was good to see Jon again

and know he has not let his illness get

him down. I am still in touch with him

and have re-established a friend who

at a point years ago I thought I would

never see again.

Ian Stewart


PRIDE MARCH 2014


Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM Summer/ Issue 38Photo: AnthonyEQUILIBRIUM 16

I thought I knew about stress, until I became stressed!

I’d imagine most of us have a fairly

good understanding of stress. Dare

I say most of us may even think we

know pretty much everything there is

to know about stress. I thought I knew

everything there was to know about

stress; I’d suffered from it enough

times over the years. Little did I realise

I couldn’t even answer the simplest of

questions about my stress.

So what did I know about stress?

I’m no expert on the subject, but a

cursory glance at my basic knowl-

edge tells me that as individuals we

can get stressed from things like feel-

ing overwhelmed at work, or having

relationship issues, or kids kicking up

a storm, or no money in the bank and

the bills are pouring in. And of course

the list is endless.

We may know what happens to the

body when we get stressed. The

physical symptoms might be tension

running across the shoulders, the fran-

tic thoughts on a never ending loop, a

racing heart, sweating hands, butter-

flies in the stomach. Again, the list

goes on.

And I’d imagine we all know of some

ways of combating stress: a walk in

the park, meditation, taking a pause,

chatting to someone, exercise. Again,

the list for dealing with stress is limit-

less, and everyone tends to have their

own particular ways of coping with it.

Of course I’ve been stressed a million

times or more throughout my lifetime.

So I assumed I knew all there was

to know about stress. Until I recently

became stressed. This time I asked

myself the question: Where is my stress

coming from? The answer was, after http

://m

ydyn

am

icse

lf.c

om

/


Nigel Prestatyn

several days of fruitless observation, I

hadn’t the faintest idea!

We know how to recognise stress,

because we recognise the symptoms

in our bodies. The root of stress is some-

times obvious to locate: I feel my racing

heart and the tension across my shoul-

ders, because the driver behind me is

revving up the rear of my car. But some-

times it is less easy to locate.

But how could I not know what was

stressing me out? I looked at every

possible source, yet still I couldn’t find

the root of its cause. Often I’ve never

bothered asking where my stress is

coming from, just that I need to deal with

it. But then wouldn’t it be more efficient

when dealing with stress if we could

know the nature of the beast; the cause

of it? But sometime stress can conceals

its triggers.

I think the answer is that it’s not always

clear where are stress is coming from.

The smallest insignificant event which

happens in our daily lives can easily

go unnoticed on a conscious level,

whereas the subconscious mind absorbs

the information and this can trigger a

stress reaction, often based on past

experiences or memories. Therefore the

conscious mind cannot always know the

cause of our stress.

Sometimes it’s less important to know

where our stress is coming from, but far

more important that we are AWARE that

we are stressed. That means tuning in to

our own particular symptoms of stress

as it manifests in our bodies/ minds.

It means recognising it early enough

before it can do damage. Once it is

recognised we can take action to allevi-

ate the stress.

For every kind of stress out there there is

an appropriate action which can allevi-

ate it. What that action is, only each indi-

vidual can answer. But we can say there

are some great places to start which

will almost certainly have some kind of

beneficial effect. The outdoors is always

a great place to start. I personally find

a long cycle ride can work wonders for

clearing stress out of my body.


Frank - with Michael Fassbender and Domnhall Gleeson

Inspired by a real character Frank Sidebottom, this is a funny, quirky, watchable and

sometimes tender take on ‘eccentricity’, being masked, the painfulness of life in a band

and relationships. The band – with an unpronounceable name – take on board Jon (based

on Jon Ronson, the creator of the film) who narrates and interrogates the situation in a naïve

but fetching way. Frank always wears a papier mache head and somehow this, as well as

hiding him, liberates him. The film becomes darker and sadder towards the end, but is good

at normalising those who don’t fit norms. And the music is pretty interesting.

Asylum archives of Picauville psychiatric hospital

A visit to Paris for the day bore fruit in an intriguing exhibition at La Maison Rouge near

Gare du Lyon. Called L’Asile des Photographies it was crafted out of asylum archives of

Picauville psychiatric hospital, 40k from Cherbourg. The institution, about to be demol-

ished, wanted to preserve a record of the hospital and this exhibition did it proud. It

lacked the strange spin of sentimentality that often attaches to these kinds of exhibitions,

and – apart from a predictable installation of twisted iron hospital beds – gave us an

unmediated and normal look at the people who lived in the asylum in the ‘40s and after.

Scattered around were postcards of the buildings and photos taken by Canadian soldiers

after D-Day and before it was bombed – empty kitchens and sides of meat.

There are photos taken in the late ‘30s that we, through early 21st century eyes, know

were taken before the horror of WW2; the nuns are singing and walking in ignorance as

they celebrate their bicentenary; they put on a pageantry play telling the story of their

charitable institution founded 200 years earlier ‘to care for the disturbed, the deranged’.

There were lists of words in glass cases - serieusement, concasser, meticuleusement,

oncteux (serious, grind, meticulous, smooth) – and sad bits of ephemera and medical

notes, including one letter from a family begging for their mother’s return, ECT read-outs,

drug sheets and photos of ordinary people looking ordinary. Around the walls are films:

the patients on outings to the sand dunes, putting on plays, holding fetes and larking

around with eggs and spoons in their mouths, masked for a party, on the beach, trousers

rolled, and then the eternal loafing around in the courtyard, waiting. This was a little pearl

of a show and I’m very glad that I made the effort to go.

EQUILIBRIUM 18

REVIEWS Polly Mortimer


CoolTan Arts is proud to announce our

success in being awarded The Queen’s

Award for Voluntary Service. Thank you

to all our volunteers, past and present, for

their support, time and impact, this award

is very much for them, as it is for all those

involved in CoolTan Arts.

The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Serv-

ice is an annual award to recognise and

reward excellence in voluntary activities

carried out by groups in the community.

The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service

is the highest award given to volunteer

groups across the UK.

It is given for outstanding achievement

by groups of volunteers who regularly

devote their time to helping others in the

community, improving the quality of life

and opportunity for others and providing

an outstanding service.

Michelle Baharier CEO said: ‘I am

delighted that CoolTan Arts has won this

prestigious award it is a testament to

everyone who has ever volunteered at

CoolTan Arts, their hard work, their giving

of their time freely, either in the days

when we squatted our buildings or since

we become a charity. The DIY culture that

CoolTan is famous for is actually the ‘Big

Society’ that governments dream of.

Give power to people and communities

so they can flourish on their own, with a

little help from peppercorn rent. What

is life for? It’s about helping each other,

we take money to the grave but we help

each other when we are alive, is there

any other point to life? If you would like to

join our award winning team get in touch

with us. Well done every one at CoolTan

Arts for your efforts!’

Rachel Ball Volunteer Coordinator said:

‘This is a fantastic recognition for all our

past and present volunteers and the hard

work, enthusiasm, time, comment and

skill sharing they have given to CoolTan

Arts. I hope this award will inspire new

people to become a part of CoolTan Arts

and contribute to their community.’

EQUILIBRIUM 19

CoolTan Arts wins Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service


The D word may send people into

fits of fear: “no, no I don’t want to

do that thing”, or: “there is noth-

ing wrong with me, my bones are

thick!”. Yes, I am taking about the

post popular word in our vocabu-

lary: Dieting. Dieting advice

website ‘informationdiet’ describes

dieting as “about your personal

health, and the health of society”.

The word tends to crop up when

you are eating (which could be

the worst moment), from friends

(“you’re looking a bit chubby down

there!”) or from your GP, which

would medical and to do with

health risks.

If you go on Google and type ‘diet-

ing’, you will probably find millions

of search results. But it doesn’t stop

there; for an overweight person, no

matter if you are obese, morbidly

obese or just chubby, you start to

look at your body whilst question-

ing yourself: “Is this really fat? I just

thought it was a bump.”

Suddenly, on an annual trip to the

doctors, the dreaded BMI (Body

The dreaded “D” word


Mass Index) chart popped up. This is

measured by finding your weight and

your height on a chart, and can lead

to some “hard to hear” words about

your weight problems if you are found

to be obese or morbid obese, includ-

ing issues about blood sugar levels

and diabetes. Yes, it sounds bad to

hear and it might cause you to think

‘why did I do this in the first place?’

Now comes that D word again and an

appointment with the dietitian.

Dieting, from what I can gather, means

eating healthily: more fruits, vegeta-

bles, less fatty food and lots of exer-

cise. These are the most likely things

that the dietician will recommend. For

a person who has a “weight problem”

admitting that you have a problem

with your weight is the first important

thing. For most people it is not easy to

comprehend the realization that you

have to shed that weight, regardless of

how it is done. Now comes the fear of

dieting, and the fear of exercise. The

fear continues whilst you start to loose

your breath, thinking “I cannot do this,

it’s too much!” You give up and go for

something sweet to give you comfort.

Hence the term ‘comfort food’. Gradu-

ally you might loose interest in doing

the “D” word.

Sometimes it is easy to take a step

back and think to yourself: ‘How am I

going to tackle this problem?’ I should

say at this point that I am not a dieti-

tian or a doctor and before dieting you

should look what suites you physically,

and don’t put your health at risk. Don’t

over do it or under do it; it needs to

be a gradual process that suites your

body. Eat vegetables, after a while

they taste better! Here is something I

thought I would never say, but here

goes: Dieting is not such a scary word

when you take it slowly (but not too

slowly!). I understand that I might sound

like a dietitian or a person who just

took this information off a website, but

this is rather from my own experience.

I went from 27 stone down to 15 stone

over a period of 3 to 4 years, and that

was by exercising more and eating

less bad food. It needs to be a new

approach to healthy living; it’s not just

about not eating.

By Dev


WISE WORDS

EQUILIBRIUM 23

Leafing through a copy of

Stylist magazine I came

across a selection of “Wise

Words” by Caroline Corc-

oran and selected a few

that appealed to me. The

following are the ones I

picked out as ones I thought

might appeal to our read-

ers:

‘Nothing is a waste of time,

if you use the experience

wisely.’ August Rodin

‘No-one has ever become poor by giving.’ Anne Frank

‘Life is ours to be spent not saved.’ D H Lawrence

‘You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that

the world is actually worth your sacrifices.’ Zaha Hadid

‘To know what is right, and not do it, is the worst cowardice.’ Confucius

‘Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to

stay.’ Dalai Lama

‘Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us.’ Pablo Neruda

‘Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.’

Winston Churchill.

‘The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.’ E.E. Cummings

‘The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.’

Dorothy Parker

Marco Lanzarote


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places in Sure run to the beat

2014, London’s most unique

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on 14th September 2014, join

15,000 other runners taking on

an epic 10k starting and finishing

in Wembley Park, home to the

iconic Wembley stadium.

Live DJ’s will be based all along

the route, pumping out motiva-

tional tunes to keep you going

and a headline act will be play-

ing at the finish to help you cele-

brate your achievement. Previous acts have included Jessie J, Tinie Tempah,

Calvin Harris and DJ Fresh. The atmosphere on the day will be like nothing you

have experienced at a running event before.

This event is perfect for both seasoned runners and first time runners alike. If you

would like more information about Run to the beat, please click here.

We are asking all runners to pay a registration fee of £25.00 to secure a place

in the event and to pledge to raise £200.00 for Mind in Haringey. To sign up,

please email [email protected] or [email protected] .

Event Date: 14th September 2014

Location: Wembley Park, London

Start time: 9am (provisional)

MIND IN HARINGEYJoin our Run to the Beat 10k team!



Roha counted the lacerated notches

on the tree trunk. The heatwave

had entered its sixty-third day. He

squinted at a blinding sun burning

down on his island of nutmeg fields

and tinder huts. On the forest floor

he watched hills of immolated crea-

tures eddy in the breeze, tangle into

glutted mounds. He saw dehydrated

animal pelts slung over neighbour’s

latticed fences like discarded hunting

trophies, atrophied but for the mole-

cules of phosphorescent moisture

glistening in their eyes. He wondered

if an oasis had formed before them

in death. Looking along the hill road

he gazed at the roof of the local

Baptist church, now cloaked with the

luminous skeins of exotic birds that

had perished in the unrelenting heat:

a silent tower built from hawks and

parakeets… a thousand collapsed

hummingbirds unable to beat their

iridescent wings another meagre

second. In the faint breeze Roha

watched the bird’s feathers flutter

with the façade of life.

All the island’s inhabitants heard

the rumbles of thunder come, then

leave. All witnessed the tufted clouds

huddle, then drift to cooler lands.

Roha lay back against his palm tree,

took his amber stone from out of his

shirt pocket and held it to a brilliant

sky. Within the belly of his amber

stone he imagined he could see his

mother’s translucent flesh and bone…

there inside he could see her, floating

within an ethereal sap of pine. Within

the amber stone she seemed to be

constructed from material belong-

ing to that of a damselfly’s wings — a

diaphanous woman but for the faint

veiny outlines hinting at her previous

existence. He thought of this image

of his mother as a residual recording

of a time when she was much more

the vital woman in his life. And now,

how quickly she’d faded to a hollow

chimera.

Roha recalled the day he’d discov-

ered his amber stone, snagged

amongst the corals of the sea, buried

deep amongst the ancestral origins

of life. The sea, so shapeless and infi-

nite in its unfathomable depths, he

decided, had bestowed this gift on

him. A stone which was a portal into

past worlds, untroubled worlds. Inside cont.

FICTION

ROHA’S AMBER [abridged] by Anthony Parke’

the amber stone he saw how easily he

could’ve gathered her up in his arms:

a young man cradling his mother. It

seemed their roles had been perversely

reversed. And he felt a sadness in

knowing that no amount of amber-gaz-

ing could stave-off her inevitable return

to dust.

He stared down to a distant St.

George’s harbour, its miniscule fisher-

men boats wobbling on the slopping

ocean. He sunk into the dry, crack-

ling grass and tried to forget the curi-

ous fossilization which had seized the

land. He tried to forget the images he’d

seen earlier that day, pushing, pushing

images… of the church interior, filled

with the furred shells of collapsed bees

rising in the air, as if miraculously resur-

rected for one last inglorious swarm…

of the palm trees incrementally sagging

over the hillsides as if divining buried

fissures of lakes.

In his amber stone he saw himself as a

little boy in his mother’s garden above

Dragon Bay. He watched himself as

he searched for snakes under leaves

and rocks; his mother busily gleaning

fruit from the surrounding trees. And

while she picked her fruit, he gazed at

a jettisoned shell of a scarab beetle

clinging to a leaf. He marvelled at its

hefty claws, so perfectly intact in every

detail— a transparent shell of its original

self. He saw himself as a boy, looking

on admiringly as his mother placed her

pickings into a fruit bowl. He admired

the way she stretched her mahogany-

hued body for the highest and ripest

fruits; marvelled at the volume and

breadth of her thighs, the weight and

muscle of her arms. And when she’d

finished gathering her fruit, she gath-

ered him up as if he were a fallen fruit,

placing him in the cocoon of her waist.

Roha’s amber, his window into past

worlds, untroubled worlds.

Sitting on the hillside he recalled

how he’d once gazed so intensely

into his amber stone, he’d inadvert-

ently discovered the tiniest of insects

entombed amongst its shards. He’d

wondered at the insect’s history, the

millions of centuries passed since its

creation; the entomologist’s jewel

suspended in animation. And he’d

come to consider the curious paral-

lel of he and his insect, both seem-

ingly trapped within the amber cham-

ber, ensnared amongst its lost worlds,

silently praying for a return to the living.

And he thought of his mother,, lying

in her hospital bed, so silent and life

weary.

Roha left the forest outskirts and began

to walk down the hillsides, careful not

EQUILIBRIUM 27

to tread on the battalions of carmine-

coloured crabs scuttling down the banks.

He walked through cathedrals of calci-

fied trees. As he descended he saw

smoke from distant hill fires drift through

the forest interior creating strange mists.

He passed the familiar effigy hanging in

a sacred tree hollow, the mermaid effigy;

he paused to look over the rusted chain

hung around the doll’s neck, its brilliant

blue eyes seemingly gazing at the cutlass

driven into the earth beside it. An island

effigy of distant worlds, he mused, paying

libations with a little sprinkle of his water.

Roha decided, like the mermaid, that his

mother was little more than an effigy. His

mermaid from the oceans, suffering in her

parched lands.

As Roha walked on, he contemplated the

inanimate object, so alive and crucial

in the palm of his hand. How easily his

amber stone ignited the histories he’d

thought long calcified. Unable to resist

the compelling lull, he held the stone

up to the sky. Within the stone he saw

himself as a young boy. He watched his

mother bathe beneath a waterfall, the

cool waters spilling over her limbs, teas-

ing the waters into yet further falls. Surely

the heavens had moulded her limbs, he

thought. He gazed at her nakedness in

the shameless dew of morning, a filmy

lustre spilling over her breasts. And where

the chambers of her belly seemed to

swell, he guessed he saw a happiness

there, and he wanted once more to be

within, and a part, of that happiness.

Out of his stone, Roha recalled how he’d

once believed his mother would always

remain healthy through her life. But he’d

been proven wrong. In five short years

she’d succumbed. And now she lay

encrusted in a hospital bed.

Roha came down the cliff-edge over-

looking St. George’s Town. He walked

the dirt road past the silk-cotton tree,

where he’d been told animals had been

ritually surrendered by obeah-men from

old days. Inside the tree hollow he imag-

ined the fallen teeth of agouti; he grimly

mused to himself whether his mother’s

spirit would come to lay amongst the

phantasm of beaks and bones he envis-

aged within the tree. Down in the town

he gazed at the old ladies squatting

beneath golfing umbrellas, selling their

red snapper from woven baskets. He

passed the gunnery tower and took a

cobbled path up to the hospital. In the

hospital he found his mother’s room. He

entered, as he’d done a thousand times

before these last months. [...]

EQUILIBRIUM 28

Equilibrium Magazine Issue 53 - Summer 2014-2

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