Emotional Leadership: Managing Conflict Ripples Erik Thompson, MA Thompson Leadership Development, Inc
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Emotional Leadership:Managing Conflict Ripples
Erik Thompson, MAThompson Leadership Development, Inc
HR
IT M
NY BankCEO
SVP
HR
Florida FirmCEO Founder
HR
Manager
Kansas Factory
HR
PM
PM
NH Construction CompanyCEO
Former Owner
SVP
Conflict Ripples
HR
My Goal Today
• To help you function as a emotional maturity leader in your organization by:– Thinking bigger and clearer about relationship
challenges– Promoting accountability for EM– Coaching employees to manage relationship
challenges and conflicts in a way that builds teams.
Not My Goal Today
• Provide easy answers to complex problems
• Quick and dirty “advice”• Dumb down the subject
– Techniques without poise fail– Techniques without new thinking fail
• Understate the importance of self-awareness
Thinking Bigger and Clearer About Relationship
Challenges
Gun Barrel Vision
Able to see reciprocity
Wide Angle Lens
Emotional Poise
Emotional Reactivity
Wide Angle Lens
HR
A
CBBlame
Triangling
More Triangling
D
Blame: “You are responsible for my experience.”
Triangling: Tension between two spreads to a third
Side Taking: The third blames one for the problem
Further Triangling
HR
HR
IT M
NY BankCEO
HR
Florida FirmCEO Founder
HR
Manager
Kansas Factory
SVP
HR
PM
PM
NH Construction CompanyCEO
Former Owner
Characteristics of the Emotional Leader
Emotional Immaturity1. Emotionally reactive2. Blame3. Triangle prone4. Quick to take sides
Emotional Leadership1. Emotionally poised
– Can reflect on mind states
2. Slow to Blame: – “I am responsible for my
experience.”
3. De-Triangling: – Can be amidst intensity
between two without jumping to take sides
4. Delivers accountability5. Impactful coaching
Emotionally poised
Which is the Alpha?
HR
IT M
NY BankCEO
HR
Florida FirmCEO Founder
HR
Manager
Kansas Factory
HR
PM
PM
NH Construction CompanyCEO
Former Owner
Delivering Accountability
A
CB
Leadership Promotes Responsible mindset
Coaching for EM
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