Emotional Intelligence - Interpersonal Communication

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEChapter 8 & 9 – Interpersonal Communication

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) DEFINITION

“the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Emotional intelligence describes abilities distinct from, but complementary to, academic intelligence.”

- Daniel Goleman (1998)

BALANCING WHAT WE FEEL & WHAT WE THINK…

Did you know?

Emotions were the first to form within the brain. They can be found within all three layers of the brain. Before anything else, living creatures had feelings.

Animals and the first human beings primarily depended on their emotions for survival.

Fight or flight are responses generated through emotions.

CONTINUED…• Emotional intelligence is, “that aspect of human intelligence that governs

our ability to recognize, understand, control and use emotions in solving problems of a personal and interpersonal nature” (Bar-On, 2007, p. 27).

A MEDICAL STUDENT STORY…

SOME THOUGHTS…

• ”Neuroscience is by far the most exciting branch of science because the brain is the most fascinating thing in the universe. Every human brain is different, the brain makes each human unique and define who we are.”

• Stanley B. Prusiner

HOW WE USE IT…“The term Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the processes involved in the recognition, use, understanding, and management of one’s own and other’s emotional state to solve emotion-laden problems and to regulate behavior” (Mayer and Salovey, 2004, introduction).

CONTINUED…Emotional Intelligence is, “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships” (Opdycke, 2007, n.p.).

NOT THE OPPOSITE“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head – it is the unique intersection of both” (Caruso, 2005, n.p.).

• See next slide for example.

WHERE WE WANT TO BE…THE GOAL

EI

Thinking Part

Feeling Part

EI refers to emotional management skills which provide competence to balance emotions and reason, so as to maximize long term effectiveness & happiness.

IN TERMS OF SUCCESS…

IMPORTANCE OF EI TO ORGANIZATIONS

• 50% of work satisfaction is determined by the relationship a worker has with… his/her boss.• A large hospital reduced turnover of critical-care nurses from 65 to

15 percent within 18 months of instituting an emotional intelligence screening assessment. EI is a prerequisite for effective leadership across borders.• Requires a high level of self-mastery and people skills; ability to

put yourself into the positions of others.

EI – NEW CONCEPT?No…it has always been there…we just have been better at defining it…

“That man is disciplined and happy who can prevail over the turmoil that springs from desire and anger, here on earth …” Hindu text Bhagavad-Gita, 1000 B.C.E

There are TWO dimensions of emotions:

• Physiological side: ‘Emotion’ is a complex state of human mind, involving bodily changes of widespread character such as breathing, pounding heart, flushed face, sweating palms, pulse rate, gland secretions, etc. • Psychological side, a state of excitement or alarm marked by strong feelings.

WHY IMPORTANT TO STUDY?

Its important to understand how our brains process basic and higher level emotions.

This will increase your awareness of why we react the way we sometimes do.

Emotion and your body have a big relationship! – Becoming self-aware will improve your relationships.

ICEBERG MODEL

What we see (behavior/performance)

What we don’t see (thinking, emotions, attitudes, personal values, basic human emotional needs)

**The things we don’t see create our behaviors.

Feelings/Emotions Are Dynamic and Complicated

FOUR COMPONENTS OF EI• 1. Self-Awareness• 2. Self-Management• 3. Social Awareness• 4. Relationship Management

SELF-AWARENESS• Self-awareness is recognizing how others respond to us.

This is often challenging because we tend to see what we want to see. And we tend to avoid the uncomfortable action of asking others for feedback. • Requires time for reflection.• Requires collecting feedback from others (were not used to this).• Important that we ask feedback from those who have similar

values.• A large study that compiled thousands of data points found that leaders

who sought out negative feedback were much more self-aware and effective than those who sought out positive feedback.

EXAMPLE

SELF-MANAGEMENT• Self-management is your ability to control your emotions. A key

factor is whether you react or respond to situations. • Answer these questions:

• When you get an irritating email, do you write back right away?• Do you sometimes find yourself regretting how you handled yourself, wishing

that you had been more calm and poised?• Do you lose patience or rush others?

• If you said yes to any of these questions, you may be in the habit of reacting rather than responding. When you react, you do what comes naturally, which is going with the emotional part of your brain. When you respond, you act against what is natural, which is why it is difficult. You engage the rational part of your brain and select the best response.

EI: SELF-MANAGEMENT, SEINFELD

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3k7lykTWTk

SOCIAL AWARENESS• Social awareness focuses on service, and level of empathy. • Improve your organizational awareness by fine-tuning your radar for the

emotional climate in groups, and recognizing power dynamics. • Understand and appreciate why someone feels they way they do. • The importance of empathy was explained in Stephen Covey's book The 7

Habits of Highly Effective People. • His fifth habit was to seek first to understand, then to be understood. • That phrase reflects the simple wisdom of considering the needs of the other

party in any communication.

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT – ORGANIZATIONAL LEVEL

• Developing others, serving as an inspiring leader and catalyst for change, collaborating with a high-performing team, and managing conflict are part of relationship management.

• You are high on this characteristic if others perceive you as likeable and you’re able to work well with diverse groups, even in the face of stress and conflict.

• If you can create and communicate an inspiring vision and help them to do difficult things, such as embrace change, you are definitely high on this characteristic.

VALUE OF TAKING TIME FOR SELF- AWARENESS REQUIRES

ABILITIES• to recognize appropriate body cues

and emotions• to label cues and emotions

accurately• to stay open to unpleasant as well

as pleasant emotions• includes the capacity for

experiencing and recognizing multiple and conflicting emotions

DEVELOPING EMPATHY• Empathy is a feeling different from sympathy. When one is sympathetic,

one implies pity but maintains distance from another person’s feelings. Empathy is more a sense that one can truly understand or imagine the depth of another person’s feelings. It implies feeling with a person, rather than feeling sorry for a person.

• Empathy is a translation of the German term Einfühlung, meaning to feel at one with. It implies sharing the load, or “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes,” in order to appropriately understand that person’s perspective.

• In research on married couples, empathy appears to include matching the physiological changes of the other person.

THE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX ABILITIES WHICH UNDERLIE PEOPLE SKILLS

• Being attuned to others’ emotions• Promoting comfort in others through the proper use of display rules• Using own emotional display to establish a sense of rapport

EMOTION RELATED DYSFUNCTION

• all or nothing thinking• overgeneralization• excessive worrying• worrying as magical thinking• disqualifying the position• jumping to negative conclusions• “should” statements• labeling & mislabeling

• personalization• stonewalling• criticism; contempt

IMPACTS OF THIS TYPE OF THINKING• Impacts on physical health

• cardiovascular disease• progression of diabetes• progression of cancer• onset of hypertension• Stress related illness

• Impacts on relationships• Impacts on mental health

WHAT EI TRAIT/TRAITS ARE NOT BEING SHOWN HERE…

IN ORDER TO COUNTERACT OVERTHINKING OR MANAGE OUR EMOTIONS WE NEED TO HAVE SOME _______________.

THERE ARE INSTRUMENTS TO MEASURE EI...

• Take time for mindfulness• Recognize and name emotions• ID the causes of feelings• Do something about it (make a change)• Learn optimism to challenge distortion• Learn distraction techniques• Listen to voice of experience• Develop Listening skills**

PRACTICE THIS…

RECOMMENDED JOURNAL ARTICLES• Habib, S, Riaz, M, & Akram, M 2012, 'Emotional Intelligence as Predictor of Life

Satisfaction among Nurses: Mediating Role of Spiritual Wellness', FWU Journal Of Social Sciences, 6, 1, pp. 73-78, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 25 September 2012.

• Heffernan, M, Griffin, M, McNulty, S, & Fitzpatrick, J 2010, 'Self-compassion and emotional intelligence in nurses', International Journal Of Nursing Practice, 16, 4, pp. 366-373, CINAHL Plus, EBSCOhost, viewed 25 September 2012.

• Batool, S, & Khalid, R 2009, 'LOW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: A RISK FACTOR FOR DEPRESSION', Journal Of Pakistan Psychiatric Society, 6, 2, pp. 65-72, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 25 September 2012.

• Freshman, B, & Rubino, L 2004, 'Emotional Intelligence Skills for Maintaining Social Networks in Healthcare Organizations', Hospital Topics, 82, pp. 2-9, British Library Document Supply Centre Inside Serials & Conference Proceedings, EBSCOhost, viewed 25 September 2012.

• Cadman, C. and Brewer, J. (2001), Emotional intelligence: a vital prerequisite for recruitment in nursing. Journal of Nursing Management, 9: 321–324.

IMPORTANT**• Remember that it takes time to unlearn old habits.• However, with determination you can develop a high

emotional intelligence.