EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE A Practical guide PAQUITA DE ZULUETA JUNE 2010
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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE A Practical guide
PAQUITA DE ZULUETAJUNE 2010
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Increased understanding of what is EI, why it matters and how to enhance EI.
Focus on mindfulness and CBT.
good colleague, difficult colleague
Can you think of a good colleague and what qualities do you like in him/herCan you think of a difficult colleague
THE EMOTIONSwhat are they they?
Not a settled matter. Psychologists, scientists and philosophers still in disagreement.
Emotion is derived from the Latin motere, to act.
Complex entities consisting of feelings, distinctive associated thoughts, biological states, and a range of propensities to act.
EMOTIONS AS GUIDESmoral calibrators. value indicators
"Feelings, along with the emotions they come from, are not a luxury. They serve as internal guides, and they help us communicate to others signals that can also guide them…Contrary to traditional scientific opinion, feelings are just as cognitive as other precepts."
Damasio, 1996, p.17
EI - DEFINITION
“EI involves the ability to perceive accurately, appraise and express emotion; the ability to accessand/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; the ability to understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and the ability to regulateemotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”
Salovey & Mayer 1997. Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications.
The four competencies of ei:
PERSONAL COMPETENCE
1. SELF-AWARENESS
2. SELF-REGULATION
[3. SELF-MOTIVATION]
SOCIAL COMPETENCE
SOCIAL AWARENESS including EMPATHY
SOCIAL SKILLS
examples
TWO DOCTORS – UNDER ATTACK.
GOLEMAN’S EXAMPLE.
WHY DO WE NEED EI?
Evidence suggests that individuals with high EI are more contented and fulfilled, more effective and better able to contribute positively to society.
They also live longer and healthier lives.
But the evidence is not rock solid.
consequences of low EI
Greater likelihood of low academic success, deviant behaviour, drug and alcohol abuse and poor relationships.
Greater likelihood of burnout and stress.
BUT some highly successful people have low EI
THE BUSINESS CASE
Increased productivity
Increased profits
Increased savings e.g. USA Airforce saved money when recruited high EI front line personnel.
Higher income, bigger bonuses
Etc ,etc,…
EI and health care professionals
EI and patient centredness: Only limited relationship between physician EI and patient satisfaction.
Only the EI sub-scale of happiness showed any relationship to patient satisfaction
HISTORY OF EIARISTOTLE understood it 25 centuries ago!
Aristotle recognised the importance
Of emotions for rational decisions
And for ethical conduct.
Appropriate expression of emotions
e.g. Anger:
“The wise man gets angry at
The right time in the right way and
at the right person.”
EI HISTORY1990’s the decade of brain & ‘Heart’
1990. MAYER & SALOVEY. Emotional Intelligence. Article.
1995 GOLEMAN – Emotional Intelligence bestseller.
1995 DAMASIO – Descartes’ Error: “Emotion, Reason & the Human Brain”. Neuroscience.
1998 EPSTEIN – Constructive thinking: The Key to Emotional Intelligence. Incorporated CBT.
1998. PANKSEPP. Affective Neuroscience: A conceptual framework for the neurobiological study of emotions.
THE “EMOTIONAL BRAIN”
the limbic system
Powerful stimuli lead to “emotional hijacking” via theamygdala, with very rapid fight, flight or freeze response, but actually rare event.
Normally the prefrontal cortex and other areas of the cortex are involved in emotional processing.
Finely tuned integration of our ‘old brain’ and our ‘new brain’ processes.
“peak experience” exercise
Work in pairs.
Each person relates to his/her partner a recent time when s/he had to surmount a difficult situation and it all went really well –that person felt that s/he really shone as an individual.
Ten minutes each to share the experience.
Use open questions.
What were the thoughts, feelings, actions at that time?
What was the essence of the experience?
What do you value about yourself from this?
HOW CAN ONE INCREASE ONE’S EI?
GETTING OLDER (AND WISER)!
USING TOOLS OF CBT
REFLECTION - alone/shared
WRITING as reflective tool.
MINDFULNESS/COMPASSION TRAINING
COACHING
BUILDING ON THE POSITIVE
THREE TYPES OF AFFECT REGULATION SYSTEM
IMBALANCE OF THE 3 SYSTEMS
Fear and stress activates the Threat Systemand shuts down the Affiliative System and the Incentive System.
In a high stress, high threat environment, increased aggression, reduced empathy, reduced ability to self-soothe, and reduced motivation and creativity.
emotional dysregulation
Eventually leads to anxiety disorders and/or depression or violence.
But may relate to past events/upbringing and some people have a chronic imbalance of their emotion regulatory systems.
THE AFFILIATIVE SYSTEMSELF-COMPASSION
1. SELF-KINDNESS
1. COMMON HUMANITY
1. MINDFULNESS.
Kristin Neff. www.self-compassion.org
COMMON HUMANITY
Recognition that vulnerability and personal inadequacy are part of the human condition.
WHY SELF COMPASSION MATTERS
Makes us more likely to be compassionate to others.
Reduces stress and likelihood to depression or burnout.
Improves health and wellbeing.
mindfulness
Mindfulness has been described as an intentional focused awareness. A way of paying non-judgmental attention on purpose, and in the present moment.
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness is taking control of your mind rather than allowing your mind to be in control of you.
Marsha Linehan.
MINDFULNESS
Non-judgmental receptive mind-state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are , without trying to suppress or deny them.
Some quotes from Buddha
The mind is everything. What you think you become. It is better to travel well than to arrive. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Mindfulness meets neuroscience and cognitive psychology
“You can change your mind to change your brain to change your mind.” (Rick Hanson).
Benefits of mindfulness meditation
Increased awareness of triggers and signs of distress.
Increased acceptance and reduced self-criticism.
Greater sense of perspective.
Reduced anxiety, psychological distress.
Reduced depression - MBCT
Fewer cognitive errors.
Increased attention to external stimuli.
Increased ‘agreeableness’ – compassion, concern for others, tolerance.
BENEFITS OF MINDFULNESS MEDITATION - BRAIN
Prevents cortical thinning of ageing and specifically thickens the anterior cingulate cortex and insula. Improved attention, empathy.
Increases activation of left frontal regions, lifting mood.
Changes brainwaves and stress-related cortisol.
Cortisol can destroy brain cells.
‘mindlessness’
Live mostly in a state of Automatic Pilot
Experience high levels (internal and external) of stress.
Less able to tune into our emotional intelligence.
MINDFULNESS – AN EXERCISE
Simple exercises
How does my body feel right now?
What did I enjoy today? What am I grateful for?
Take 5 minutes every morning to be quiet and meditate, listen to sounds, gaze out of the window.
When you are driving or at your desk, observe your body, bring awareness to your breathing. Give yourself the three minute breathing space at intervals.
CBT – Cognitive Behavioural therapya new name for an old philosophy
“Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by their opinions about the things.”
[Epictetus, circa 55 AD. Roman Stoic Philosopher].
Key element – “decentering”
A thought is just a thought, it is not a fact.
The view from the balcony.
COGNITIVE-BEHAVIOURAL MODEL
THOUGHTS
BEHAVIOUR FEELINGS
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
ENVIRONMENT/TRIGGERS
Vicious Circle
I might fail!
I must do really well!
If I fail it will be a disaster!
ANXIETY++
Sweating, insomnia, poor concentration
Impaired performance
CBT BASED ON LEARNING THEORY
Why use CBT?
Useful ‘tool’ to help communication and problem-solving in clinical practice and everyday life.
Fundamental tenet of CBT: negative automatic thoughts affect how people feel emotionally and physically, and alters behaviour.
Identifies vicious cycles and helps to release individuals from them.
Lots of evidence that it works!
Using CBT in everyday life
Thought records. Can do it in your head after awhile.
Catching yourself using unhelpful thinking styles.
Working out your ‘rules for living’ and making them more adaptable/flexible.
an exercise
feedback
More simple exercises
Take something meaningful and beautiful with you to your workplace. Place it where you can see it easily.
Make contact with other people at lunchtime and talk about non-work things.
At the end of the working day, review your activities and congratulate yourself for your accomplishments.
Change out of your work clothes when you get home.
ONE WORD EXERCISE
WHAT IS THE GOOD LIFE?
CONCLUSION
EQ SEEMS TO BE AS IMPORTANT OR MORE IMPORTANT THAN IQ.
IT CAN BE CULTIVATED BY A VARIETY OF MEANS.
MINDFULNESS AND CBT APPEAR TO BE POWERFUL TOOLS FOR DEVELOPING EI
EI HAS THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE OUR LIVES MORE MEANINGFUL AND JOYFUL.
A POEMIF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,Or being hated, don't give way to hating,And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with Triumph and DisasterAnd treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you've spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginningsAnd never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinewTo serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in youExcept the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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