Emotional Intelligence

IHM Manager’s NetworkIHM Manager’s NetworkEmotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence

Joyce BrownJoyce Brown

Balkello ConsultingBalkello Consulting

Emotional Intelligence - Emotional Intelligence - DefinitionsDefinitions

‘‘A type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own emotions, to discriminate among them and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and actions’

Salovey & Mayer 1990

Emotional Intelligence - Emotional Intelligence - DefinitionsDefinitions

‘‘The capacity for recognising our own The capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships’in ourselves and in our relationships’

(Goleman (Goleman 1999)1999)

Why Does EI Matter?Why Does EI Matter?

‘‘For star performers in all jobs, in every For star performers in all jobs, in every field, emotional competence is twice as field, emotional competence is twice as important as purely cognitive abilities’important as purely cognitive abilities’

‘‘For success at the highest levels, in For success at the highest levels, in leadership positions, emotional leadership positions, emotional competence accounts for virtually the competence accounts for virtually the entire advantage’entire advantage’

Goleman – Hay/McBer researchGoleman – Hay/McBer research

Why Are Managers ‘Derailed’Why Are Managers ‘Derailed’

RigidityRigidity

Poor relationshipsPoor relationships

Misconceptions About EIMisconceptions About EI

EI does not mean merely ‘being nice’EI does not mean merely ‘being nice’ EI does not mean giving free reign to EI does not mean giving free reign to

feelingsfeelings Women are not ‘smarter’ than men when it Women are not ‘smarter’ than men when it

comes to EIcomes to EI Our level of EI is not fixed geneticallyOur level of EI is not fixed genetically

Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence and Emotional CompetenceEmotional Competence

5 Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence:5 Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence:

1.1. Self AwarenessSelf Awareness

2.2. Self RegulationSelf Regulation

3.3. Self MotivationSelf Motivation

4.4. EmpathyEmpathy

5.5. Social SkillsSocial Skills

Emotional CompetenciesEmotional Competencies

Self AwarenessSelf Awareness• Emotional AwarenessEmotional Awareness• Accurate Self AssessmentAccurate Self Assessment• Self ConfidenceSelf Confidence

Emotional CompetenciesEmotional Competencies

Self –RegulationSelf –Regulation Self- ControlSelf- Control TrustworthinessTrustworthiness ConscientiousnessConscientiousness AdaptabilityAdaptability InnovationInnovation

Emotional CompetenciesEmotional Competencies

Social SkillsSocial Skills InfluenceInfluence CommunicationCommunication Leadership Leadership Change CatalystChange Catalyst Conflict ManagementConflict Management Building BondsBuilding Bonds Collaboration and CooperationCollaboration and Cooperation Team CapabilitiesTeam Capabilities

Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence and Emotional CompetenciesEmotional Competencies

‘‘The ingredients for outstanding The ingredients for outstanding performance require only that we have performance require only that we have strengths in a given number of these strengths in a given number of these competencies, typically, at least six or so, competencies, typically, at least six or so, and that the strengths be spread across all and that the strengths be spread across all five areas of emotional intelligence.’five areas of emotional intelligence.’

Goleman 1998Goleman 1998

Principles Of Emotional Principles Of Emotional IntelligenceIntelligence

1.1. Emotion is information – mainly about people Emotion is information – mainly about people and not about ‘moods’and not about ‘moods’

2.2. We can try and ignore emotion but it doesn’t We can try and ignore emotion but it doesn’t workwork

3.3. We can try and hide emotion but we aren’t as We can try and hide emotion but we aren’t as good at it as we thinkgood at it as we think

4.4. Decisions must incorporate emotion to be Decisions must incorporate emotion to be effectiveeffective

5.5. Emotions follow logical patternsEmotions follow logical patterns

Emotional Intelligence

1 – Identify Emotion Become aware of emotions Express emotions

2 – Use Emotion Let emotions Influence thinking Match emotion to the task

3 – Understand Emotion Find out what emotions mean

4. Manage Emotion Stay open to emotions Integrate emotions into thinking

The 4 Skills of Emotional IntelligenceThe 4 Skills of Emotional Intelligence

1. Identifying Emotions1. Identifying Emotions

SkilfulSkilfulKnows what people feelKnows what people feel

Will talk about feelingsWill talk about feelings

Can show how they feelCan show how they feel

Expresses feelings when Expresses feelings when upsetupset

Smiles when happy or Smiles when happy or pleasedpleased

Reads people accuratelyReads people accurately

Good at recognising own Good at recognising own

feelingsfeelings

Not SkilfulNot SkilfulMisreads people’s emotionsMisreads people’s emotions

Doesn’t talk about feelingsDoesn’t talk about feelings

Never shows feelings Never shows feelings

Doesn’t know how to Doesn’t know how to express feelingsexpress feelings

Maintains neutral expressionMaintains neutral expression

Fails to identify how others Fails to identify how others feelfeel

Misunderstands own Misunderstands own feelingsfeelings

2.Using Emotions2.Using Emotions

SkilfulSkilfulCreative thinkerCreative thinker

Inspires peopleInspires people

Focuses on what’sFocuses on what’s

important when emotionsimportant when emotions

are strongare strong

Emotions Emotions improveimprove thinking thinking

Can feel what others are Can feel what others are feelingfeeling

Feelings help to inform and Feelings help to inform and change beliefs and opinionschange beliefs and opinions

Not SkilfulNot SkilfulPractical and concretePractical and concrete

Doesn’t motivate othersDoesn’t motivate others

Forgets what’s important Forgets what’s important when upsetwhen upset

Feelings are flat or distractingFeelings are flat or distracting

Emotions are self absorbed Emotions are self absorbed and not influenced by and not influenced by other’s feelingsother’s feelings

Beliefs and opinions are Beliefs and opinions are unchanged by emotionsunchanged by emotions

De Bono’s 6 Thinking HatsDe Bono’s 6 Thinking Hats

White (neutral)White (neutral) Green (ideas, creativity)Green (ideas, creativity) Yellow (sunny, positive)Yellow (sunny, positive) Black (negative, critical)Black (negative, critical) Red (emotions, gut feelings)Red (emotions, gut feelings) Blue (overview, process)Blue (overview, process)

3.Understanding Emotions3.Understanding Emotions

SkilfulSkilfulMakes correct assumptions Makes correct assumptions

about peopleabout people

Knows the right thing to sayKnows the right thing to say

Makes good predictions Makes good predictions about what people may about what people may feelfeel

Has rich emotional Has rich emotional vocabulary vocabulary

Understands conflicting Understands conflicting emotionsemotions

Not SkilfulNot SkilfulMisunderstands peopleMisunderstands people

Gets on people’s nervesGets on people’s nerves

Is surprised by how people Is surprised by how people feelfeel

Finds it hard to explain Finds it hard to explain feelingsfeelings

Experiences on-or-off Experiences on-or-off emotions with few shades emotions with few shades of grayof gray

4. Managing Emotions4. Managing Emotions

SkilfulSkilfulEmotions focus attentionEmotions focus attention

Can manage own feelingsCan manage own feelings

Can manage others feelingsCan manage others feelings

Is open to one’s feelings Is open to one’s feelings and the feelings of othersand the feelings of others

Leads a rich emotional lifeLeads a rich emotional life

Inspires other peopleInspires other people

Not SkilfulNot SkilfulEmotions are distracting Emotions are distracting

Is a slave to passionsIs a slave to passions

Has no intentional impact on Has no intentional impact on others (unintentional)others (unintentional)

Shuts off feelingsShuts off feelings

Leads an emotionally Leads an emotionally impoverished lifeimpoverished life

Cannot connect with other Cannot connect with other peoplepeople

Changing A Negative MoodChanging A Negative Mood

Future PaceFuture Pace VisualisationVisualisation Remember a jokeRemember a joke Catastrophise the eventCatastrophise the event Change your body languageChange your body language Take a brisk walkTake a brisk walk Write it downWrite it down

Ask The Right QuestionsAsk The Right Questions

How do you feel? How strongly?How do you feel? How strongly? What are you thinking about?What are you thinking about?

How are these feelings influencing your How are these feelings influencing your thoughts?thoughts?

Why do you feel this way?Why do you feel this way?

What was the cause? How have these What was the cause? How have these feelings progressed? How will they change feelings progressed? How will they change further?further?

Ask The Right QuestionsAsk The Right Questions

What can you do with the emotions? Do What can you do with the emotions? Do they need to be modified?they need to be modified?

How can you manage these feelings so How can you manage these feelings so they are used adaptively in decision they are used adaptively in decision making and in motivating behaviour?making and in motivating behaviour?