A CLOSER LOOK AT ELABORATION FOR SONGWRITING Elaboration
May 25, 2015
A CLOSER LOOK AT ELABORATION FOR SONGWRITING
Elaboration
Mom: “What Did You Do Today?”
“COULD YOU ELABORATE A
LITTLE?”
Child: “Nothing much…”
What is Elaboration?
the process of adding further detail to make vague statements or ideas more vivid.
Elaboration Helps the Listener…
experience the emotion the song is communicating
understand the experience the song is communicating
visualize the people the song describes
visualize the setting the song describes
Which is more vivid?
“I’m worried”“I knew he had to go back to Iraq, and waved him off with a smile, but as the bus pulled away, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the last time I would see that smile.”
Why be dull?
Two methods of elaboration
1. elaboration with sensory detail
2. elaboration with incidents and examples
Sensory details…
appeal to one or more of the five senses:
sight hearing smell touch taste
Revise with sensory details
Incidents and Examples
Incident: a brief account of a single event.
Example: a specific person, place, object, or event that illustrates a general statement.
Songs
communicate strong emotionsare not logical, as a formal essayoften describe an incident—a break-up, or the invention of a new dance
are made up of verses which contain examples that validate* the emotional points they are making.*validate: prove, support, confirm or legitimize
Let’s Try it Together
Invent incidents and examples which support the claims made in the “choruses” in the first column:
Vocabulary Review
Elaboration: the process of adding further detail to plain statements or ideas
Sensory Details: details that appeal to one or more of the five senses
Incident: a brief account of a single event
Example: a specific person, place, object, or even that illustrates a general statement
“Start All Over” by Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus“Start All Over”
I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to ride
Commit or not commit in such a crazy tide
It’s sooner than I thought but you called me out
I’ve lost control and there’s no doubtI’m gonna start all over
Out of the fire and into the fire againYou make me want to forget
And start all overHere I come straight out of my mind or
worseAnother chance to get burned
And start all overI’m gonna start all over
Fantastic and romantic all a big surpriseYou’ve got the warning hesitation
pushed asideIt’s sooner than I want but you caught
my heartI guess I’m ready now to start
I’m gonna start all overCHORUS
It’s so easyYou disrupt meCan’t complain
Adjust volume
Elaboration—1st Verse, “Start All Over”
What incidents and examples does the songwriter use to support the emotional tone of the song?
Are there any sensory details? Could more sensory details be added? If so,
where?
I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to rideCommit or not commit in such a crazy tide
It’s sooner than I thought but you called me outI’ve lost control and there’s no doubt
I’m gonna start all over
Elaboration—2nd verse, “Start All Over”
What sensory details does the songwriter use? Can you imagine an incident that would fit into this
verse?Fantastic and romantic all a big surprise
You’ve got the warning hesitation pushed asideIt’s sooner than I want but you caught my heart
I guess I’m ready now to startI’m gonna start all over
Choruses
Use sensory details to reinforce the emotion of the song.Can you think of any sensory details that would be good
in the choruses?Out of the fire and into the fire again
You make me want to forgetAnd start all over
Here I come straight out of my mind or worseAnother chance to get burned
And start all overI’m gonna start all over
It’s so easyYou affect me
Can’t complain
Let’s Elaborate on Miley’s Version
Choose lyrics from “Start All Over” that use sensory details, incidents, and examples.
Use these lyrics as models to help you brainstorm ideas for your own lyrics.
Lyrics from “Start All Over” My Own Lyrics That Use Sensory Details,Incidents, and Examples
Inspiration: “Out of the fire and into the fire again”
“Here I come straight out of my mind or worse”
Example: our love was a river, but now the river is dry…oh whyyyy, oh baby whyyI want to get close ,but baby, I feel the heat..I can’t get burned again
She’s your best of breed, and I’m your shelter dog… but baby it doesn’t change the fact that you treat us all like dogs!
I tear my hair…just get me off this ride!
Revision
Second, choose lyrics from “Start All Over” that are more simple and declarative (statements). Revise these lyrics by
adding sensory details, incidents, and examples. How does your revision change the emotions that are communicated by the
song?
Simple, Declarative Lyrics from “Start AllOver”
My Revision of These Lyrics that AddsSensory Details, Incidents, and Examples
Example: “You called me out” “You tore down my wall, I have no defense…”
SONGWRITING SKILL: ELABORATION
You Try It!
Goal: Original Lyrics, Using Elaboration
DIRECTIONS 1. Select lyrics that you have been working on either in this or in previous exercises. 2. Write them in the top box. Use the graphic organizer to revise your writings, first by
adding sensory details, and next by imagining an incident or example that would make the lyrics more vivid and emotionally powerful.
3. Evaluate your revised lyrics.
Review
What is Elaboration? Elaboration is the process of adding further detail to
enliven plain, declarative statements or ideas. What techniques can I use to help me elaborate?
Sensory details Incidents and examples
Elaboration helps the listener… experience the emotion the song is communicating understand the experience the song is communicating visualize the people the song describes visualize the setting the song describes
“Start All Over” video (YouTube)
Thank you very much!
by Kathleen Norbutt
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