Ei presentation v3

Growing inEmotional Intelligence

Based on ideas at mindtools.com and wikihow.com

What is emotional intelligence?“Emotional intelligence (E.I.) is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perception of others--understanding how they feel.”

(http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm)

What does E.I. look like?“We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we're not offended or upset. They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

“We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

“People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others.”

Why attempt to develop your E.I.?“Being in touch with your feelings allows you to manage stress levels and communicate effectively with other people, two skills that enhance your life both personally and professionally.”

Additional potential benefits of having high E.I.:

• Able to quiet or silence your inner critic• Slowing down or preventing escalation of hostility• Not absorbing—taking personally—others' emotional

state/energy• Avoiding overwhelm when traversing challenging emotional

terrain• Others will be honest with us• Closer interpersonal relationships

E.I. and effective spiritual care“There are several ways a spiritual care volunteer can utilize E.I. in patient visits to provide a more healing presence:

1. Using E.I. to “read a room”--perceive the emotional dynamic—and respond appropriately.

2. Using E.I. to notice and manage one's own feelings so that they don't get in the way.

3. Using E.I. to better understand the emotions of patients and their families, and to convey to them that you indeed understand.

(Richard Behers, “Embraced by the Heart of Hospice” blog) http://embracedbytheheartofhospice.blogspot.com/2014/10/emotional-intelligence-3-benefits-for.html

The good news is that E.I.can be learned and developed!

Practice these strategies to grow in emotional intelligence:

● Notice your emotional reaction to events throughout the day. Pay attention to the feelings you are experiencing. Give them a name.

● Pay attention to your body's physical response (sweating, heart racing, tension headache, butterflies, increased energy, etc.) for clues to underlying emotions.

● Observe how specific emotions and behaviors of yours are connected. (When you're feeling down, do you start criticizing others? When your brother keeps calling about the money you owe him and you feel overwhelmed, do you avoid answering the phone? When you're happy, do you laugh at yourself and take things lightly?)

● Avoid judging your feelings. Notice when difficult feelings surface, and observe them with curiosity. Try to label them accurately. Pay attention to what may have triggered them, and accept that there are reasons you now feel the way you do.

● Practice deciding how to respond. Instead of letting your emotions overwhelm you or lead you to compulsive behavior, take a few moments to step back and understand your feelings. THEN, decide what you are going to do.

Additional tips for emotional intelligence

● Be open-minded and agreeable. Listen to both sides of debates. Believe in your ability to learn from every experience and yet be humble about your conclusions.

● Practice “walking in others' shoes.” Actively imagine how others feel, or what life is like for them. Listen carefully as they try to explain themselves.

● Notice the effect you have on others—especially their body language—to see if they perceive you as hostile. Work on making your interactions “safe” for everyone.

● Be emotionally honest. Don't pretend to be in a different mood than you're in. Don't hide your feelings from others, but also don't blame them for “getting you mad” (etc.) Share what you're feeling and what you intend to do.

Enjoy the sweet peace that comes Enjoy the sweet peace that comes with growing in with growing in emotional intelligence!emotional intelligence!