Early Middle Childhood Self Esteem, Friendships and Social Skills: What You Need to Help Your Child CHEO Connects, November 28, 2011 Dr. Simone Kortstee,

Early Middle Early Middle ChildhoodChildhood

Self Esteem, Self Esteem, Friendships and Friendships and

Social Skills: What Social Skills: What You Need to Help You Need to Help

Your ChildYour Child

CHEO Connects, November 28, CHEO Connects, November 28, 20112011

Dr. Simone Kortstee, PsychologistDr. Simone Kortstee, Psychologist

What will we talk about What will we talk about todaytoday

• Early Middle Childhood (6-9): Normal Development

• What are the red flags for disruptions in normal development?

• What can we do to facilitate healthy self esteem and social skills

Middle Childhood: Normal Middle Childhood: Normal DevelopmentDevelopment

Social and Emotional ChangesSocial and Emotional Changes

• Continuing development of behavioural and emotional regulation

• Increased independence from parents and family

• Their world becomes larger and children begin to understand their place in it

• Friendships and relationships outside immediate family become important

• Children want to be accepted as part of a group

Middle Childhood: Normal Middle Childhood: Normal DevelopmentDevelopment

Thinking and LearningThinking and Learning

• Fast development of thinking / reasoning skills

• Better able to describe experiences, talk about thoughts and feelings

• Less self-centered: less focus on self and more concern for others

Middle Childhood: Normal Middle Childhood: Normal DevelopmentDevelopment

• Mentally and physically ready to be part of a greater context.

• Through social interaction children begin to develop a sense of pride in their abilities and accomplishments.

• Children who are encouraged by their parents / teachers start to enjoy that they can accomplish something.

• They develop a feeling of competence and belief in their skills.

• It feels good when that happens

Middle Childhood: Normal Middle Childhood: Normal DevelopmentDevelopment

SummaryDuring this stage, children are ready to

enter a larger social world. Through interaction with other children as well as their parents, teachers, and other

adults in their lives, they start to enjoy their accomplishments and

begin to develop a sense of belonging.

What to look for?What to look for?

• Wide range of normal: children are different in terms of temperament and personality.

• Be accepting of individual differences

• Difficulties with emotional / behavioural regulation

• Irritability / sadness • Fears and anxieties

What to look for?What to look for?• Difficulties with

friendships• Learning

Difficulties• Sleep difficulties

• Withdrawal / aches and pains / not wanting to go to school

How to support your child How to support your child developing healthy self-esteem developing healthy self-esteem

and social skills?and social skills?

Talk with your child at their developmental level.

Talking with your child at this age allows your child to share and sort out their thoughts and feelings, build a sense of connection and belonging, and sets the stage for continued communication at later stages of development.

Set the stage now, while your child wants to talk to you, be with you, be like you

How to support your child How to support your child developing healthy self-esteem developing healthy self-esteem

and social skills?and social skills?

Spend time with your child, live a family life

Play together and do chores together

Guide your child’s thinking and problem solving

Be part of your child’s world

Share your valuesProvide a sense of

belonging!

How to support your child How to support your child developing healthy self-esteem developing healthy self-esteem

and social skills?and social skills?

Facilitate unstructured play

Arrange play opportunities: time, playmates.

Allow free play without interference of adults

How to support your child How to support your child developing healthy self-esteem developing healthy self-esteem

and social skills?and social skills?

Positive ParentingShow affection, be kind.

Build trust.Set clear expectations and create predictable routines.

Show confidence and be in charge.Instill confidence by realistic praise.

Praise or correct the behaviour not the child.Problem Solve collaboratively, while remaining in

charge.Welcome your child’s experiences as an opportunity to

talk.

What about bullies?What about bullies?

Talk with your child about bullies and teach them what to do.

Ensure that your child feels safe to speak to you and involve your child in how to solve the problem