Dr Horrible Epic

8/6/2019 Dr Horrible Epic

1/21

DR. HORRIBLES SING-ALONG BLOG

By

Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon & Maurissa Tancharoen

ACT I

Blog #1

DR. HORRIBLE

Ah hahahaha. Ah ha haaaa. A haaaa.

So thats you know... coming along. Im working with a

vocal coach. Strengthening the 'ahhaa'. A lot of guys

ignore the laugh and thats about standards. I mean, if

youre going to get into the Evil League of Evil you

HAVE to have a memorable laugh. I mean do you think Bad

Horse didnt work on his whinny? His terrible...

Death... whinny.

No response, BTW from the League yet but my application

is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the

deputy mayor. Thats gotta have some weight, so,

fingers crossed.

EMAILS! 2sly4you writes: hey genius wow. Sarcasm.

Thats ORIGINAL. Where are the gold bars you were

supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your

trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed or it would be in

the papers.

Well no, there not going to say anything in the press.

But BEHOLD. Transported from there to here.

The molecules tend to shift in the trans-matter...

um... event, but, they were transported IN BAR FORM and

they clearly were... (and by the way its not about

making money. Its about TAKING money. Destroying the

status-quo because the status is NOT quo. The world

is a mess and I just need to RULE it.) Im gonna...

that smells like cumin.

So, Trans-matter is 75% AND more importantly the

Freeze-Ray is almost up. This is the one. Stops time.

Freeze-ray. Tell your friends.

We have... OH! Heres one from our good friend Johnny

Snow. Dr. Horrible. I see you are once again afraid to

do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dooley Park

for 45 minutes.

Ok, DUDE youre NOT my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain

Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated

my shoulder... Again... last week.

LOOK! Im just trying to change the world, OK? I dont

have time for a grudge match with every poser in a

parka. Besides, theres kids in that park, so...

Heres one from DeadNotSleeping. Long time watcher,

first time writing. Blah blah blah blah... You always

say on your blog that you will show her the way, show

her you are a true villain. Who is her and does she


2/21

even know that youre

-laundry matt-

"My Freeze Ray"

LAUNDRY DAY

SEE YOU THERE

UNDER THINGS

TUMBLING

WANNA SAY

LOVE YOUR HAIR

HERE I GO

MUMBLING

WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL STOP THE WORLD

WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL FIND THE TIME TO FIND THE

WORDS TO

TELL YOU HOW

HOW YOU MAKE

MAKE ME FEEL

WHATS THE PHRASE?

LIKE A FOOL

KINDA SICK

SPECIAL NEEDS

ANY WAYS

WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL STOP THE PAIN

ITS NOT A DEATH-RAY OR AN ICE-BEAM THATS ALL JOHNNY

SNOW

I JUST THINK YOU NEED TIME TO KNOW

THAT IM THE GUY TO MAKE IT REAL

THE FEELINGS YOU DONT DARE TO FEEL

ILL BEND THE WORLD TO OUR WILL

AND WELL MAKE TIME STAND STILL

THATS THE PLAN

RULE THE WORLD

YOU AND ME

ANYDAY

Love your hair

PENNY

What?

DR. HORRIBLE

No... I... I... I love the air...

ANYWAY

WITH MY FREEZE RAY I WILL STOP -

Lab

MOIST

Hey doc.

DR. HORRIBLE

Moist! My evil, moisture buddy. Whats going on?

MOIST

Life of crime. Got your mail.

DR. HORRIBLE


3/21

Hey, didnt you ahh. Didnt you go on a date last

night? Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with

BaitNSwitch.

MOIST

Yeah, ahhh...

DR. HORRIBLE

Yeah?

MOIST

It was all right. I kinda thought I was supposed to

end up with bait, but...

DR. HORRIBLE

I hear ya. I saw Penny today.

MOIST

You talk to her?

DR. HORRIBLE

So close. Im just a few weeks away from a real,

audible, connection. Im gonna ask... Oh my God!

MOIST

Is that from the League?

DR. HORRIBLE

Its from him! Thats his seal isnt it?!?

MOIST

The leader? The... Oh my Gosh!

DR. HORRIBLE

I got a letter from Bad Horse!

MOIST

Thats so hard core. Bad Horse is legend. He rules

the league with an iron hoof. Are you sure you

wanna...?

"Bad Horse Letter"

BAD HORSE CHORUS

BAD HORSE

BAD HORSE

BAD HORSE

BAD HORSE

HE RIDES ACROSS THE NATION

THE THOROUGHBRED OF SIN

HE GOT THE APPLICATION THAT YOU JUST SENT IN

IT NEEDS EVALUATION, SO LET THE GAMES BEGIN

A HEINOUS CRIME, A SHOW OF FORCE,

(A MURDER WOULD BE NICE OF COURSE)

BAD HORSE

BAD HORSE

BAD HORSE

HES BAD

THE EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL

IS WATCHING SO BEWARE

THE GRADE THAT YOU RECEIVE WILL BE YOUR LAST

WE SWEAR


4/21

SO MAKE THE BAD HORSE GLEEFUL

OR HELL MAKE YOU HIS MARE

YOURE SADDLED UP

THERES NO RECOURSE

ITS HIGH-HO SILVER

SIGNED: BAD HORSE

MOIST

Its not a no...

DR. HORRIBLE

Are you kidding? This is great! Im about to pull a

major heist. You know the Wonderflonium that I need

for the Freeze-Ray? Its being transported tomorrow.

MOIST

Armored car?

DR. HORRIBLE

Courier van. Candy from a baby.

MOIST

You need anything dampened or made soggy or...?

DR. HORRIBLE

Thanks, but... the League is watching. I gotta go this

alone.

Street

"Caring Hands"

PENNY

WILL YOU LEND A CARING HAND

TO SHELTER THOSE WHO NEED IT?

ONLY HAVE TO SIGN YOUR NAME

DONT EVEN HAVE TO READ IT

WOULD YOU HELP?

NO? HOW BOUT YOU?

WILL YOU LEND A CARING HAND?

DR. HORRIBLE

ARGHHH!

PENNY

Oh. Oh.

DR. HORRIBLE

Argh. Ah. Hah. What?

PENNY

I was wondering if I could just... Hey, I know you!

DR. HORRIBLE

Hello. You know me? Cool. I mean. Yeah, you do. Do

you?

PENNY

From the laundry mat.

DR. HORRIBLE

Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice last month, you

skipped the weekend. Or, if that was you. It coulda

been someone else, I mean, Ive SEEN you. Billy is my

name.


5/21

PENNY

Im Penny. What are you doing?

DR. HORRIBLE

Im texting. Its very important or I would stop. What

are you doing?

PENNY

Actually Im out here volunteering for the Caring Hands

Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute?

DR. HORRIBLE

Umm... Ok, go.

PENNY

Ok, were hoping to open up a new location soon, expand

our efforts. Theres this great building nearby that

the city is just going to demolish and turn into a

parking lot, but if we get enough signatures...

DR. HORRIBLE

Signatures? *pfft*

PENNY

Yeah.

DR. HORRIBLE

Im sorry, go on.

PENNY

I was saying um, maybe we could get the city to donate

the building to our cause. We would be able to provide

250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job

training so they could... buy rocket packs and go to

the moon and become... florists... Youre not really

interested in the homeless are you?

DR. HORRIBLE

No, I am. But theyre a symptom. Youre treating a

symptom and the disease rages on, consumes the human

race. The fish rots from the head as they say. So my

thinking is why not cut off the head?

PENNY

Of the human race?

DR. HORRIBLE

Its not a perfect metaphor... but Im talking about an

overhaul of the system. Putting the power in...

DIFFERENT... hands.

PENNY

Im all for that... This petition is about the

building...

DR. HORRIBLE

Id love to sign it.

PENNY

Thank you.

DR. HORRIBLE

Sorry I... I come on strong.

PENNY


6/21

But you signed.

DR. HORRIBLE

Wouldnt want to turn my back on a fellow laundry

person...

PENNY

Well if WE cant stick together I dont... Ill

probably see you there.

DR. HORRIBLE

No, I will. Ill...

She talked to me. Why did she talk to me NOW? Maybe I

should...

"A Mans Gotta Do"

A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO

DONT PLAN THE PLAN IF YOU CANT FOLLOW THROUGH

ALL THAT MATTERS IS TAKING MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS

SOON ILL CONTROL EVERYTHING

MY WISH IS YOUR COMMAND

CAPTAIN HAMMER

STAND BACK EVERYONE

NOTHIN HERE TO SEE

JUST IMMINENT DANGER

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ME

YES CAPTAIN HAMMERS HERE

HAIR BLOWING IN THE BREEZE

THE DAY NEEDS MY SAVING EXPERTISE

A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO

SEEMS DESTINY ENDS WITH ME SAVING YOU

THE ONLY DOOM THATS LOOMING IS YOU LOVING ME TO DEATH

SO ILL GIVE YOU A SECOND TO CATCH YOUR BREATH

DR. HORRIBLE

You Idiot!

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Dr. Horrible. I should have known you were behind this.

DR. HORRIBLE

You almost killed her

CAPTAIN HAMMER

I remember it differently.

DR. HORRIBLE

Is she? *urgh*

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Its curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting

curtains.

PENNY

THANK YOU HAMMER MAN, I DONT THINK I CAN

EXPLAIN HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS THAT YOU STOP THE VAN

I WOULD BE SPLATTERED; ID BE CRUSHED UNDER DEBRIS

THANK YOU SIR FOR SAVING ME

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Dont worry about it.


7/21

A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO.

PENNY

(YOU CAME FROM ABOVE.)

DR. HORRIBLE

(ARE YOU KIDDING?)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

SEEMS DESTINY ENDS WITH ME SAVING YOU

DR. HORRIBLE

(WHAT HEIST WERE YOU WATCHING?)

PENNY

(I WONDER WHAT YOURE CAPTAIN OF)

DR. HORRIBLE

(STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

WHEN YOURE THE BEST YOU CANT REST, WHATS THE USE?

DR. HORRIBLE

(DID YOU NOTICE THAT HE THREW YOU IN THE GARBAGE?)

PENNY

(MY HEART IS BEATING LIKE A DRUM)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

THERES BUTT NEEDS KICKING. SOME TICKING BOMB TO

DIFFUSE.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 9.

PENNY

(MUST... MUST BE IN SHOCK)

DR. HORRIBLE

(I STOPPED THE VAN. THE REMOTE CONTROL WAS IN MY HAND)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

THE ONLY DOOM THATS LOOMING IS YOU LOVING ME TO DEATH

PENNY

(ASSUMING IM NOT LOVING YOU TO DEATH)

DR. HORRIBLE

(WHATEVER)

CAPTAIN HAMMER & PENNY

SO PLEASE GIVE ME A SEC TO CATCH MY BREATH

DR. HORRIBLE

Balls.

10.

ACT II

Blog #2

Dr. Horrible sits with blank expression.

Street

"On the Rise"

DR. HORRIBLE

ANY DOLT WITH HALF A BRAIN

CAN SEE THAT HUMAN KIND HAS GONE INSANE

TO THE POINT WHERE I DONT KNOW

IF ILL UPSET THE STATUS QUO


8/21

IF I THROW POISON IN THE WATER MAIN

LISTEN CLOSE TO EVERYBODYS HEART

AND HEAR THAT BREAKING SOUND

HOPES AND DREAMS ARE SHATTERING APART

AND CRASHING TO THE GROUND

I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY EYES

HOW THE WORLDS FILLED WITH FILTH AND LIES

BUT ITS PLAIN TO SEE

EVIL INSIDE OF ME

IS ON THE RISE

PENNY

LOOK AROUND. WERE LIVING WITH THE LOST AND FOUND

JUST WHEN YOU FEEL YOUVE ALMOST DROWNED

YOU FIND YOURSELF ON SOLID GROUND

AND YOU BELIEVE THERES GOOD IN EVERYBODYS HEART

KEEP IT SAFE AND SOUND

WITH HOPE, YOU CAN DO YOUR PART

TO TURN A LIFE AROUND


IS THE WORLD FINALLY GROWING WISE

CAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME

SOME KIND OF HARMONY

IS ON THE RISE

DR. HORRIBLE

ANY ONE WITH HALF A BRAIN

COULD SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIFE HOWLING IN PAIN

PENNY

(TAKE IT SLOW

HE LOOKS AT ME AND SEEMS TO KNOW)

THE THINGS THAT IM AFRAID TO SHOW

AND SUDDENLY I FEEL HIS GLOW

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 11.

DR. HORRIBLE

(CAUSE THE DARK IS EVERYWHERE

AND PENNY DOESNT SEEM TO CARE

THAT SOON THE DARK IN ME IS ALL THAT WILL REMAIN)

PENNY

AND I BELIEVE THERES GOOD IN EVERYBODYS HEART

KEEP IT SAFE AND SOUND

DR. HORRIBLE

(LISTEN CLOSE TO EVERYBODYS HEART

AND HEAR THAT BREAKING SOUND)

HOPES AND DREAMS ARE SHATTERING APART

PENNY

(WITH HOPE YOU CAN DO YOUR PART)

DR. HORRIBLE

AND CRASHING TO THE GROUND

PENNY


9/21

(TO TURN A LIFE AROUND)

DR. HORRIBLE & PENNY


HOW THE WORLDS -

DR. HORRIBLE

FILLED WITH FILTH AND LIES

PENNY

FINALLY GROWING WISE

DR. HORRIBLE

BUT ITS PLAIN TO SEE

PENNY

(AND ITS PLAIN TO SEE)

DR. HORRIBLE

EVIL INSIDE OF ME

PENNY

(RAPTURE INSIDE OF ME)


IS ON THE RISE

12.

Laundry Mat

PENNY

It is so dumb that weve been coming here so long and

never spoke.

DR. HORRIBLE

I know. All those months doing a stunningly boring

chore.

PENNY

Im a fan of laundry.

DR. HORRIBLE

Psych! I love it.

PENNY

The smell of fabric softener.

DR. HORRIBLE

MMmm.

PENNY

The feel of warm clothes in your hands.

DR. HORRIBLE

So good.

Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and

they gave me two. You dont happen to like frozen

yogurt do you?

PENNY

I love it.

DR. HORRIBLE

Yore kidding! what a crazy, random happen-stance. Here.

PENNY

Thank you.


10/21

DR. HORRIBLE

So how was your weekend? Did you spend the whole time

hunting wild signatures?

PENNY

Um, actually, I went on a date...

DR. HORRIBLE

Get right outta town. How was that?.

PENNY

Unexpected. Hes a really good looking guy, and I

thought he was kinda cheesy at first...

DR. HORRIBLE

Trust your instincts -

PENNY

But, he turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes

people are layered like that. theres something totally

different underneath than whats on the surface.

DR. HORRIBLE

And sometimes theres a third, even deeper level and

that one is the same as the top surface one.

PENNY

Huh?

DR. HORRIBLE

Like with pie...

So, you gonna see him again?

PENNY

I think I will...

DR. HORRIBLE

Huh.

PENNY

Billy?

DR. HORRIBLE

Yeah?

PENNY

Youre driving a spork into your leg.

DR. HORRIBLE

So I am. Hilarious.

Blog #3

DR. HORRIBLE

All right. The wait is over. This my friends, is my

Freeze-Ray which, with the addition of the

Wonderflonium I obtained at my famously successful

heist last week.

I say successful in that I achieved my objective. It

was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced

my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now hes

taking her out on dates, and theyre probably going to

kiss or something.

She called him sweet. How is he sweet?


11/21

RIGHT. Freeze-Ray. SO as of tonight I am in the Evil

League of Evil if all goes according to plan; which it

WILL because I hold a P.H.D in Horribleness. See you at

the aftermath. PEACE!

But not literally...

Blog #4

Dr. Horrible returns battered and bruised.

DR. HORRIBLE

*cough* Ahem. The Freeze-Ray needs work. I also need to

be a LITTLE bit more careful about what I say on this

blog. Apparently the L.A.P.D and Captain Hammer are

among our viewers.

They were waiting for me at the Mayors dedication of

the Superhero Memorial Bridge. The Freeze-Ray takes a

few seconds to warm up and I wasnt...

Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.

Not to worry though, because Im....

Oh, one second.

"Bad Horse Phone Call"

BAD HORSE CHORUS

HE SAW THE OPERATION

YOU TRIED TO PULL TODAY

BUT YOUR HUMILIATION MEANS HE STILL VOTES NAY

AND NOW ASSASSINATION IS JUST THE ONLY WAY

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

IT MIGHT BE YOURS

SO GO KILL SOMEONE

SIGNED: BAD HORSE

Lab

MOIST

Kill someone?

DR. HORRIBLE

Would you do it? To get into the Evil League of Evil?

MOIST

Look at me man. Im Moist. I mean, at my most bad I

make people feel like they want to take a shower. Im

not E.L.E material.

DR. HORRIBLE

Killings not elegant or creative. Its not my style.

MOIST

Youve got more than enough evil hours to get into the

Henchmans Union.

DR. HORRIBLE

*Pfft* Im not a henchman. Im Dr. Horrible. I have a

P.H.D. in horribleness.


12/21

MOIST

Is that the new catch phrase?

DR. HORRIBLE

I deserve to get in. You know I do. But killing?

Really?

MOIST

Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa that grows up to

become president. Thatd be big.

DR. HORRIBLE

Im not gonna kill a little kid.

MOIST

An old lady.

DR. HORRIBLE:

Do I even know you?

Laundry Mat

DR. HORRIBLE

I just, you know, REALLY think Im qualified for this,

this job and I just cant get my foot in the door.

PENNY

Im sure you will.

DR. HORRIBLE

I wanna do great things, you know? I wanna be an

achiever. Like Bad Horse...

PENNY

The thoroughbred of sin?

DR. HORRIBLE

I meant Ghandi.

PENNY

Well, Ive gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even

fired a few times.

DR. HORRIBLE

I cant imagine anyone firing you.

PENNY

Neither could I. Now I can visualize it really well.

But, you know... everything happens.

DR. HORRIBLE

Dont say "for a reason".

PENNY

No, Im just saying that everything happens.

DR. HORRIBLE

Not to me.

"Heres a Story"

'PENNY'S STORY'

HERES A STORY

OF A GIRL

WHO GREW UP LOST AND LONELY


13/21

THINKING LOVE WAS FAIRY TALE

AND TROUBLE WAS MADE ONLY FOR ME

EVEN IN THE DARKENSS EVERY COLOR CAN BE FOUND

AND EVERY DAY OF RAIN BRINGS WATER FLOWING TO

THINGS GROWING IN THE GROUND

GRIEF REPLACED WITH PITTY

FOR A CITY BARELY COPING

DREAMS ARE EASY TO ACHIEVE

IF HOPE IS ALL IM HOPING TO BE

ANY TIME YOURE HURT

THERES ONE WHO HAS IT WORSE AROUND

AND EVERY DROP OF RAIN WILL KEEP YOU GROWING

SEEDS YOURE SOWING IN THE GROUND

SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

BILLY BUDDY

Its like Captain Hammers always saying...

DR. HORRIBLE

Right. Him. How are things with "cheesy on the

outside"?

PENNY

Good. Theyre good. Hes nice.

Ill be interested to know what you think of him. He

said he might stop by.

DR. HORRIBLE

Stop by here?!

PENNY

Yeah.

DR. HORRIBLE

OH! Goodness. Look at my wrist. I gotta go

PENNY

But what about your clothes?

DR. HORRIBLE

I dont like these. See ya.

ARGH!

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Oh, Pardon.

DR. HORRIBLE

Pardon.

PENNY

Billy, this is Captain Hammer.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

OH! Billy, the laundry buddy. well it is very nice to

meet you.

DR. HORRIBLE

Were meeting now for the first time.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

You look horribly familiar.


14/21

DR. HORRIBLE

One of those faces I guess.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Have I seen you at the gym?

DR. HORRIBLE

At the gym...

CAPTAIN HAMMER

I dont go to the gym, Im just naturally like this. Oh

well.

Who wants to know what the Mayor is doing behind closed

doors? He is signing over a certain building to a

Caring Hands Group as a new homeless shelter.

PENNY

Oh my Gosh!

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Yep. Apparently the only signature he needed was my

fist. But, with a pen in it. That I was signing with.

PENNY

I, I cant believe it!

DR. HORRIBLE

Congratulations

PENNY

Thank you, THANK YOU!

CAPTAIN HAMMER

ahh

PENNY

Oh

DR. HORRIBLE

Well, this is great. I wish I could stay and chit-chat.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Well it sure was nice to meet you... Doctor...

You got a little crush, dont you Doc? Well thats

gonna make this hard to hear. See, later Im gonna take

little Penny back to my place, show her the Command

Center, Hammer Cycle. You think she likes me now? Im gonna give

Penny the night of her life. Just because you want her, and I get

what you want. See, Pennys giving it up. Shes givin it up

hard, cause shes with Captain Hammer.

19.

Street

"Brand New Day"

DR. HORRIBLE

THIS APPEARED AS A MORAL DILEMMA

CAUSE AT FIRST IT WAS WEIRD THOUGH I SWORE TO ELIMINATE

THE WORST OF THE PLAGUE THAT DEVOURED HUMANITY

ITS TRUE I WAS VAGUE ON THE HOW SO HOW CAN IT BE THAT

YOU


15/21

HAVE SHOWN ME THE LIGHT

ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

AND THE SUN IS HIGH

ALL THE BIRDS ARE SINGING

THAT YOURE GONNA DIE

HOW I HESITATED

NOW I WONDER WHY

ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

ALL THE TIMES THAT YOU BEAT ME UNCONSCIOUS

ILL FORGIVE

ALL THE CRIMES INCOMPLETE, LISTEN, HONESTLY

ILL LIVE

MR. COOL, MR. RIGHT, MR. KNOW-IT-ALL IS THROUGH

AND THE FUTURES SO BRIGHT

AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU

YOU SHOWED ME THE LIGHT

ITS A BRAND NEW ME

IVE GOT NO REMORSE

NOW THE WATERS RISIN

BUT I KNOW THE COURSE

IM GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD

GONNA SHOW BAD HORSE

ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

AND PENNY WILL SEE

THE EVIL ME

NOT A JOKE

NOT A DORK

NOT A FAILURE

AND SHE MAY CRY

BUT HER TEARS WILL DRY

WHEN I HAND HER THE KEYS

TO A SHINY NEW AUSTRALIA

ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

AND THE SUN IS HIGH

ALL THE ANGELS SING

BECAUSE YOURE GONNA DIE

GO AHEAD AND LAUGH

YEAH IM A FUNNY GUY

TELL EVERYONE GOOD-BYE

ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

21.

ACT III

Multiple (T.V., Street & Lab)

FEMALE REPORTER

Looks like were finding out what a true hero is

MALE REPORTER

The mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate the new

homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain


16/21

Hammer.

FEMALE REPORTER

Its a good day to be homeless.

MALE REPORTER

Ahaha, it certainly is.

"Perfect Story"

MOVER #1

SO THEY SAY CAPTAIN HAMMERS BECOME A CRUSADER,

POLITICAL, HES CLEANIN UP THE STREETS.

MOVER #2

About time.

GROUPIE #1

SO THEY SAY ITS REAL LOVE

GROUPIES

SO ROMANTIC

GROUPIE #3

HE SIGNED THIS.

PENNY

SO THEY SAY WELL HAVE BLANKETS AND BEDS. WE CAN OPEN

BY MONDAY THANKS TO YOU.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Thanks to ME.

REPORTERS

ITS THE PERFECT STORY

MALE REPORTER

SO THEY SAY

FEMALE REPORTER

A HERO LEADING THE WAY

REPORTERS

HAMMERS CALL TO GLORY

FEMALE REPORTER

LETS ALL BE OUR BEST

MALE REPORTER

Next up, what's may?

GROUPIE #2

SO THEY SAY HE SAVED HER LIFE.

GROUPIE #1

THEY SAY SHE WORKS WITH THE HOMELESS, AND DOESNT EAT

MEAT.

GROUPIES

WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HER.

GROUPIE #3

THIS IS HIS HAIR.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

THIS IS SO NICE

I JUST MIGHT DATE THE SAME GIRL TWICE

THEY SAY ITS BETTER THE SECOND TIME


17/21

GROUPIES

WE DO THE WEIRD STUFF

PENNY

THIS IS PERFECT FOR ME

SO THEY SAY

I GUESS HES PRETTY OK

AFTER YEARS OF STORMY SAILING

HAVE I FINALLY FOUND THE BAY?

MOIST

Hes still not picking up.


THERES NO HAPPY ENDING

SO THEY SAY

DR. HORRIBLE

Not for me anyway.

PENNY

SHOULD I STOP PRETENDING

DR. HORRIBLE

(STOP PRETENDING)

TAKE THE CHANCE TO BUILD A BRAND NEW DAY?

PENNY

(OR IS THIS A BRAND NEW DAY?)

GROUPIE #3

THIS IS HIS DRY-CLEANING BILL

GROUPIES

FOUR SWEATER-VESTS.

Town Hall

MAYOR

And in just a few minutes well unveil the statue of

the man himself. Thank you. Thank you.

Justice has a name, and the name it has (besides

justice) is Captain Hammer. Ladies and Gentlemen; your

hero.

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Thank you. Thank you Mayor for those kind words.

"I hate the homeless...

"-ness problem that plagues our city. Everyone should

have the basic... "

You know what? I dont need tiny cue cards. When I fell

DEEPLY in love with my serious, long term girlfriend

Penny (wave your hand Penny) There she is.

Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing. Not my usual, but nice.

Anyway, she turned me on to this whole homeless...

thing... which is terrible, and I realized, Im not the

only hero in the room tonight. Im not the only one

whos fighting.


18/21

"Everyones a Hero"

IT MAY NOT FEEL TOO CLASSY

BEGGING JUST TO EAT

BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES THAT?

LASSIE. AND SHE ALWAYS GETS A TREAT

SO YOU WONDER WHAT YOUR PART IS

CAUSE YOURE HOMELESS AND DEPRESSED

BUT HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

SO YOUR REAL HOMES IN YOUR CHEST

EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY

EVERYONES GOT VILLAINS THEY MUST FACE

THEYRE NOT AS COOL AS MINE

BUT FOLKS YOU KNOW ITS FINE

TO KNOW YOUR PLACE


IN THEIR OWN, NOT THAT HEROIC WAY

SO I THANK MY GIRLFRIEND PENNY

SHE SHOWED ME THERES SO MANY

DIFFERENT MUSCLES I CAN FLEX

THERES THE DELTOIDS OF COMPASSION

THERES THE ABS OF BEING KIND

ITS NOT ENOUGH TO BASH IN HEADS

YOUVE GOT TO BASH IN MINDS


EVERYONES GOT SOMETHIN THEY CAN DO

GET UP, GO OUT AND FLY

ESPECIALLY THAT GUY

HE SMELLS LIKE POO


YOU AND YOU AND MOSTLY ME AND YOU

IM POVERTYS NEW SHERIFF

AND IM BASHING IN THE SLUMS

A HERO DOESNT CARE IF YOURE A

BUNCH OF SCARY, BUMS

EVERYBODY!


CHORUS

(WERE HEROES TOO)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

EVERYONE CAN BLAZE A HEROS TRAIL

CHORUS

(WERE JUST LIKE YOU)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

DONT WORRY IF ITS HARD

IF YOU ARE MORE SMART

YOU WILL PREVAIL

CHORUS

(AHHH AHH AHH OOOOOO)

CAPTAIN HAMMER


19/21


CHORUS

(WERE HEROES TOO)

CAPTAIN HAMMER

EVERYONES A HERO IN THEI...

(Dr Horrible freezes Captain Hammer with his Freeze-Ray)

"Slipping"

DR. HORRIBLE

LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE

AMAZING HOW SHEEPLL

SHOW UP FOR THE SLAUGHTER

NO ONE CONDEMNING

YOU LINED UP LIKE LEMMINGS

YOU LED TO THE WATER

WHY CANT THEY SEE

WHAT I SEE

WHY CANT THEY HEAR THE LIES?

MAYBE THE FEES TOO PRICEY

FOR THEM TO REALIZE

YOUR DISGUISE IS SLIPPING

I THINK YOURE SLIPPING

NOW THAT YOUR SAVIORS

AS STILL AS THE GRAVE

YOURE BEGINNING TO FEAR ME

LIKE CAVEMEN FEAR THUNDER

I STILL HAVE TO WONDER

CAN YOU REALLY HEAR ME?

I BRING YOU PAIN

THE KIND YOU CANT SUFFER QUIETLY

FIRE UP YOUR BRAIN

REMIND YOU INSIDE YOURE RIOTING

SOCIETY IS SLIPPING

EVERYTHINGS SLIPPING AWAY

SOO

GO AHEAD

RUN AWAY

SAY IT WAS HORRIBLE

SPREAD THE WORD

TELL A FRIEND

TELL THEM THE TALE

GET A PIC

DO A BLOG

HEROS ARE OVER WITH

LOOK AT HIM

NOT A WORD

HAMMER MEET NAIL

THEN I WIN

THEN I GET


20/21

EVERYTHING I EVER

ALL THE CASH

ALL THE FAME

AND SOCIAL CHANGE

ANARCHY

THAT I RUN

ITS DR. HORRIBLES TURN

YOU PEOPLE ALL HAVE TO LEARN

THIS WORLD IS GOING TO BURN

BURN

Yeah, its two "Rs"

H-O-R-R. Right.

BURN

NO SIGN OF PENNY

GOOD

I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING

NOT TO HAVE HER SEE

ITS GONNA BE BLOODY

HEAD UP BILLY BUDDY

THERES NO TIME FOR MERCY

HERE GOES NO MERCY

Thats not a good sound...

CAPTAIN HAMMER

WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!

A Death-Ray? Looks like Dr. Horribles moving up. Lets

see if this one works any better than your others.

DR. HORRIBLE

Dont...

CAPTAIN HAMMER

I dont have time for your warnings. You give my

regards to Saint Peter... or whoever has his job, but

in Hell.

(Captain Hameer shoots himself because he is holding it backwards,

shards shoot everywhere, one hits Penny)

Awww ahhhhh Im in pain. I think this is what pain

feels like. Oh mommy! Someone maternal. Get outta my

way! I gotta get out!

DR. HORRIBLE

Penny! Penny? oh

PENNY

Billy? Is that you?

DR. HORRIBLE

Penny, hold on. Oh no no no no no.

PENNY

Are you all right?

DR. HORRIBLE

Hold on, well...


21/21

PENNY

Its ok. Its ok. Captain Hammer will save us...

DR. HORRIBLE

Penny?!?

"Everything You Ever (Finale)"

PRESS

Dr. Horrible, whyd you kill her?

Dr. Horrible, was this all part of your plan?

Dr. Horrible, over here. Whyd you do it Dr. Horrible?

DR. HORRIBLE

HERE LIES EVERYTHING

THE WORLD I WANTED AT MY FEET

MY VICTORYS COMPLETE

SO HAIL TO THE KING

CHORUS

(EVERYTHING YOU EVER...)

DR. HORRIBLE

ARISE AND SING

SO YOUR WORLDS BENIGN

SO YOU THINK JUSTICE HAS A VOICE

AND WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE

WELL NOW YOUR WORLD IS MINE

CHORUS

(EVERYTHING YOU EVER...)

DR. HORRIBLE

AND I AM FINE

CAPTAIN HAMMER

Right here, In my heart and it hurts inside...

DR. HORRIBLE

NOW THE NIGHTMARES REAL

NOW DR. HORRIBLE IS HERE

TO MAKE YOU QUAKE WITH FEAR

TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD KNEEL

CHORUS

EVERYTHING YOU EVER...

DR. HORRIBLE

AND I WONT FEEL

A THING

Dr Horrible Epic

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