DON'T JUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY TO PROVE IT www.MakingUpOfBreakUp.com
May 12, 2015
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The sentence "I'm sorry" can get us out of trouble when we've done
something wrong or hurt anyone we care about but the key to a fine apology is really meaning it and
convincing the other party that you are truly remorseful.
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Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an
effective way to apologize. In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and
realize that your apology is insincere.
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A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the
relationship that was harmed by your words or actions.
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The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated.
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. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same
mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere.
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On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat
this action.
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Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to
repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.
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Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that
you are sorry.
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Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone
is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset.
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Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you
don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your
apology.
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This is not an effective way to make an apology. However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you
are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to
repeat that action.
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Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to
offer the apology in person.
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Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or
apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring.
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This kind of apology shows that you aren't truly sorry for your actions.
Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and
offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry.
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It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for
your contributions to the disagreement.
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In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person
you are apologizing to.
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Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong. While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out
their faults.
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Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong.
Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them
without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology
is sincere.
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A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you
intend to avoid hurting them in the future.
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Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were
wrong but that you understand why you were wrong.
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It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does
not arise in the future.
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The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are
sorry. Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don't really care and that you are simply apologizing
as an afterthought.
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An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too
upset to listen to what you are saying.
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It's important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and
calm down before rushing to apologize.
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After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know
that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing.
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Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions.
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It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that
your apology is sincere.
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A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the
issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating
the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid
similar actions in the future.
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