Discovering Freedom

8/3/2019 Discovering Freedom

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Discovering FreedomNovelBy: Knightofmidnight

Fantasy

Chapter 1

I choose my favorite weapon, twin swords. Their hilts felt solid beneath my grip as I started my

warm up exercises, their movements are so familiar, I do not think, I just move. I make long fluidmotions as if the swords are extensions of my arms while losing myself in the steps.Concentration fixed onto my features. This is what I love; it is like I am in my own world where

it is just me and the weapons beneath my grip.

Dripping with sweat I turn as a tall dark haired boy pads grinning into the practice room. I glareat him annoyed he broke my concentration, but still feel the corners of my mouth slowly form a

smile.

Hey sis, you working on any new moves? he asks.

Kayleb, I was warming up before you came in, and its not any of your business whether I amworking on a new move. I answer trying to be haughty but failing miserably.

Anyway Dagon wants us in the herb room for lessons Kayleb says still grinning at me.

Give me ten minutes so I can shower and get changed I answer while casually returning the

swords to the rack.

I jog to my room, looking forward to the feel of hot water washing away all the sweat and grimethat had gathered. Several minutes later I am staring into the mirror. A girl with black hair pulled

back into a ponytail with eyes so dark they looked black gazes back. I look down and follow the

white scar that trails across the back of my hand and wraps itself along my right arm. Almost likeinstinct my left hand reaches to my right shoulder to feel the letter carved there. Flashes ofmemory pass through my mind.

Screams filled the air and the sound of fighting resonated through the night. I fell out of bed and

stumbled out of the room, only getting to the doorway in time to see my father slaughtered.Smoke swirled around and flames lit the night turning the sky blood red. Silhouetted against it

was a giant of a man standing over my fathers body.


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My eyes were drawn to where my mother was. She lay there, unmoving. Confused I turned backto the big man. He pulled his sword from the body and stepped forward. I could see his leering

face oozing hate. I stood transfixed with terror as I began to understand what had happened. Iheard weeping and more sensed than saw my mother fling herself onto my fathers body. I cried

out. Her face was streaked with blood as tears ran in rivulets down her face.

Stop! she yelled with determination, You have taken my husband from this earth you will nottake my daughters. You will fight me, Tamarack.

Then so be it. Tamarack replied calmly as he lifted his sword.

My mother took up my fathers sword, from his now lifeless grip and charged.

The fight was short and bloody. Tamarack now loomed over my mother now lying on the ground.Her life blood slowly spilling out soaking into the soil.

I thought it would never have had to come to this, or at least I hoped. I never wanted to hurtyou Jaya but you forced me to. You ripped out my heart when you turned away from me and nowI will rip out yours. He said sorrowfully.

He turned from her to me and grabbed by my arm and cut, cold metal sliced and pain searedthrough me. I turned to stare into my mothers eyes, I saw apology and helpless anger and love

for me. I could hear more screaming and realized it was me. I stopped and could see red paintedmy arm. Tamarack then turned me and ripped the cloth that covered my shoulder and started to

carve the letter T. More pain, black fringed my sight. I collapsed as he dropped me.

I see your pain now you will feel no more he cried angrily as he drove his sword into my

mother.

All I could feel was pain becoming more and more intense. Then darkness.

I blink, tears pricking my eyes. I turn and walk quickly to the herb room knowing that Daganwould be wondering where I am. Kayleb and Dagon were both deep in conversation as I enter.

As Dagons head moves my way as he says Ah heres my other favorite pupil,

You mean your only other pupil I counter, attempting to sound cheerful.

Dagon smiles and starts to show us how to make a poultice for treating festering wounds. Kaylebtakes one glance at me and could tell I was not alright. Reaching under the table, he squeezes my

hand whilst giving me a reassuring smile. It always annoys me that he knows me so well but thenagain he is my twin so it can only be expected, although it is at times like now that I am really

glad he does. Feeling a bit better I start to concentrate on what Dagon is saying.

Sleeping is like a nightmare for me. Every time I close my eyes I repeatedly see my parentsdeaths. I have not slept through the night since they died, I was six. Tonight is no different, I


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wake up breathing heavily and anger surging through my being. I swing my legs out of bed andpad into to the corridor. I feel calmer with cool solid stone beneath my feet, I walk aimlessly

until ending up where I always do, the practice room. I start kicking, punching and moving in anangry erratic dance, losing myself in the motion and physical exhaustion that comes with it.

Finally I stop, panting and sweating, I fall to my knees and close my eyes, tears trickle down my

face.

After several minutes a woman with dark red hair enters the room, her face set hard but softens

as she sees me crying on the floor. She sweeps over and sits next to me. The first I am aware ofher is when she gathers me into a tight hug and begins to rock me.

Shhh, Kyra, I have you. She whispers soothingly.

Suri, I feel so useless, I couldnt help them, I couldnt help... I sob.

Suris found me like this several times before and so said nothing and held me until I cried

myself out. Gently helping me to my feet she steers me to my room. I do not cry every night butI do wake from my recurring nightmares every night, cold and empty. Anger and despair myonly companions at night. I catch a glimpse of my eyes, they are like the abyss, dead and

hopeless.

The dark claims me.

Chapter 2

Dawn finds me waiting under the cherry blossoms ready to welcome the suns warmth. Thegarden is my favorite place, it is ringed by sheer walls of rock but for the one entrance. Oddly thewarmth and light of the sun reaches the grass and tree at the bottom, only twice a day is it bathed

in the full glow of light when it rises and sets. I drink in the scene that surrounds me but all toosoon I regretfully return into the bowels of the mountains knowing I will not be back.

I strap my twin swords to my back and without turning I know my brother is there.

Your leaving arent you? he asks but it was more of a statement than a question.

Dont try to stop me. I cant take the hiding and waiting anymore. I cant just keep waiting for

him to find us, not while people are dying! I have to do something! I have seen what Tamarack islike first hand and experienced it, I reply determinedly, You werent there. Im going to jointhe resistance. He will stop at nothing to destroy everything. He lost the last of his humanity

when he killed our mother. The only reason Im still alive is because after he killed her he was soshocked at what he had done he left vowing to kill us too. Youve heard the results for yourself.

He has conquered this country and is slowly destroying peoples hope. I am going and not evenyou will stop me.


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I push past him, not daring to look him in the eye as I left knowing what I would see. Kaylebstood there shock written on his face. My words barely registering but he knew the full weight of

my words. He had never even contemplated leaving our hideaway but now he was faced with thebiggest decision in his life, follow me out or possibly never see me again.

Wait! he calls after me, Im coming with you.

I stop slightly surprised but silently pleased. I hear him run to hurriedly pack belongings and

food and strap his weapons on as I made my way to the stables.

I calmly finish saddling up our horses as Kayleb burst through the door and attaches his saddle

bags to his horse. I make a last check while my brother opened the doors. I climb onto my horseand leave without a backwards glance knowing Kayleb would be following.

The sun shines down on us as we set of at a swift trot, we rode in silence, lost in our own

thoughts. I turn my head towards my brother and again wondered why he came. He was the level

headed good natured one; I on the other hand have a short temper and tendency to act beforethinking. We were like two sides of the same coin opposites but never one without the other, theway it has always been. Kayleb broke the silence and drags me from my thoughts.

Its getting late we should stop by that patch of trees and set up camp he says.

We stop and set the horses loose to graze. I start a fire while Kayleb unpacks the sleepingblankets; by the time we finished dinner it had gotten dark. We settle down to sleep.

The nightmares come. I struggle out of the twisted blanket and just sit and stare at the dying fire.

Memories course through me.

I woke to find myself in Suris lap. I turn and find my arm and shoulder are bandaged, I still feelpain but it does not hurt as much.

Good to see you are up I was afraid you would not make it she says with worry apparent inher voice as she helped me sit up.

I got up and looked fearfully around expecting Tamarack to make good his promise but he is not

there so I relaxed and allow myself to take in the devastation. Charred skeletons of whatremained of our huts rose out of ash coated ground. Blackened corpses were being carried

towards the row of dead that had been growing since the fires had died.

Tamarack claimed he loved her but he killed her. It makes no sense to kill someone you love. Istated.

I agree with you, but I think I know why he did. He loved your mother but when she rejectedhim for your father, something in Tamarack twisted and broke, he lost himself to a darkness that

has been eating away at him for 6 years. His logic changed and so did his reason, he came tofeel that if she was not his then no one could have her, explained a village elder as he came up


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behind me You have had to learn the lessons of death at an age that is too young but is cannotbe helped.

The death that surrounded me made me angry and I wanted to lash out at anyone and anything.

I hardened my heart that day and the anger has not left me although there are precious momentswhen I can forget about it for a time though never for long. I am trapped in isolation, no one cansave me. I tear my eyes from the now dead fire as I notice the dark giving way to sunrise. The

colors blend with clouds and promise hope but I feel no warmth as the rays hit my skin.

Chapter 3

Travelling none stop for two weeks on rough terrain was taking its toll on the horses so we

rented a room in an inn for a couple of days to allow the horses to regain their strength.

Falynn is enormous, the walls tower as far as you can see. The streets are crowded with

merchants and people going about their daily business. The noise seemed to grow and rattle,trapped, between the houses that lined the flagstone streets. Colors of every shade flash vibrantly

from cloth sellers hands and stalls as they hawked their goods, all trying to win the shoutingcompetition that ensues between neighboring stalls. The smell of cooking wafts from food shops,

enticing you to taste the exquisite delights they have to offer. Bewildered and panicking, due tothe sensory overload I carved my way through the mass of people until I reach a quiet alleyway.

It is narrow and dim due to the tops of the houses leaning over as if trying to block out the light. Ilet a long breathe escape my lips as I close my eyes to calm myself.

Soon I was ready to rejoin the crush and cacophony that still rages on the busy high street. I pushmy body off the wall I was leaning on and brace myself to step out. SMACK! Someone runs intome and we both end up in a tangled heap on the floor. I disentangle myself and pin them on the

floor so quickly they had not even moved. Now I finally take a good look at them. A boy aboutmy age, eighteen, with black hair and wearing a black tunic and trousers lay beneath my knee. A

muffled noise comes from him so I let go of his head so he could speak.

Let go of me! he grouses.

You shouldnt have run into me then, I reply with annoyance distinct in my voice.

Okay Im sorry but to be honest I do think this is a bit overboard, he reasons.

Yeah, well you havent seen half the things Ive seen, you cant be too careful. I say darkly as I

let him back up.

True but if you dont mind me asking may I ask who you are? he says.

Depends on whos asking, I quip back.


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Talib he replies promptly.

Kyra I slowly respond.

Where are you from? You dont look like youre from around here. he questions

No, I respond hoping he can tell I do not want to elaborate any further.

I hear footsteps echoing around the alley and see red faced guard pelting towards us soon after.

Talib grabs my hand and runs with me into the milling masses, we quickly lose ourselves in themaze of streets and people until we can run no further.

Why was he after you? I ask panting.

He thinks I stole his purse but actually it was the street urchin behind him, its his own faultreally, he shouldnt have been sleeping on the job. he explains.

I have to go. I toss over my shoulder as I walk away.

Do you know the way back from here? Ill show you back to your room, which inn are you

staying at? Talib offers.

I can find my own way home. I respond.

After wondering aimlessly around for a couple of hours, searching for a familiar land mark, I

realize that I am lost. Slowly the streets emptied as the last beams of light disappear beyond thehorizon. The moon rises high above the walls casting a silver glow across the city.

I hear the shouts of late night revelers echo down the street as I carry on walking. A couple of

drunken guards made cat calls after me when I pass, ignoring them I stride on. Finally I reachedthe main road that ran through the center of the entire city, I stop a moment knowing I would be

back in a few minutes as the Inn was a only a few roads away.

Suddenly Im grabbed from behind as a hand clamps itself over my mouth. They haul me into a

nearby alley where I could see an accomplice in the shadows. He brings his face close to mine, Iscrunch my nose at the strong of beer that saturates his breathe.

Look at what we have here. Whats a girl like you doing out after dark, especially all alone. he

sneers with a dark grin decorating his features.

Let me go first. I found this one. a gruff voice whines behind me which did not sound quiteright on him.

I feel tired and theyre pissing me off. The man in front of me took a step back, looking slightlyunsure. Big mistake, its all the space I need, I kick my feet up and feel them connect with his

face. Surprised the man behind let go, immediately I swing into a roundhouse kick into his


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stomach. Out of the corner of my eye I see the other man struggle to his feet whilst clutching hisnose, from which blood flowed freely and staggers away. The other man is not as smart. He

straightens up and his fist fly through the air towards me. I step to the side, grabbing his fist as itsails past my face and viciously yank it into an arm hold behind his back while shoving him

against the wall. He yelps with pain so I release him and he sinks to the floor, nursing his arm.

During the entire incident I had felt completely calm and in control, no fear as you would expect,just a sense of control while calm blanketed my other emotions as if it was just another regular

everyday occurrence.

Chapter 4

The bar in the inn is crowded and smelly. Spending two days sitting in a shadowy corner

observing and listening to men drink and ramble is not my idea of fun but it is the only possibleway I can think of, to figure out who might be part of the resistance. Two new faces slip through

the door and take a table nearby after sharing a nod with the innkeeper. They speak with their

heads close together in low voices. The first thing I notice is that their behaviors different fromthe regular patrons who surround us, they keep casting covert glances around the room clearlychecking they were not being listened to. I stay still whilst straining my ears to hear their

conversation over the raucous noise that fills the room. Unable to hear them I inch closer. Soon Ibegin to make out the occasional word that drifts its way toward my ears.

So..everything readytonight..meet us.

They stop talking and one of the men leaves, five minutes later his companion follows.

Immediately I follow weaving my way through the room, careful not to be seen.

Thirty minutes later he enters into a side alley and knocks on a door and disappears inside. Itlooks like Ill be here for I while so I make myself comfortable behind a crate that has a goodview of the door.

The door startles me as it shuts and the thud of footsteps fading round a corner, quickly I

scramble to my feet, stiff after hours of sitting. I continue to shadow him. The moon is high andcasting an eerie glow over the paving stones. The world is full of shadows that that crouch and

cling to my body, shrouding me from the mans sight. Soon the city walls rise before me, makingme feel small and insignificant in comparison to its size. The man stops in front of what appears

to be just a blank wall. He presses his hand against an indent on the otherwise smooth wall. Aquiet grinding noise begins to emit from the wall and the outline of a door appears, immediately

it swings open and the man peers left and right down the road before slipping through the gap. Isneak through before the opening grinds shut behind me. Black. I put my hand up and cannot see

it. The dark closes in, my breathe deepens to ragged gasps as I attempt to fight the panic thatthreatens to overwhelm me. I feel my legs crumple beneath me. I lie still, hating the weakness

that engulfs me and preventing me from moving. I am cold. I drift in and out of consciousness.

After eternity I see a light coming towards me. Vaguely I wonder who it could be, certainly no

friend as I know no one, it must be a foe but the messages to stand and fight in my brain do not


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seem to be reaching the rest of my body so I continue to lie still. Black spots dance across myvision and the last thing I see are a set of black boots.

Chapter 5

My throat is burning and the side of my head is throbbing. I hear voices softly talking beside me.

We cant trust her. We found her in one of our tunnels. She has to be spy, people dont justwonder in, especially through that entrance! an irritated voice hisses.

Let me kill her now while shes unconscious, that way she wont feel a thing. the same voice

begs.

Then a vaguely familiar voice jumps to my defense, But what if shes not, then we would bejust as bad as the very people we are fighting against. Lets just wait until shes awake and then

question her.

Alright. another voice agrees.

Heavy footsteps pound out the room. Its probably the one that wants to kill me, knowing it was

probably a good time to wake up while the man that was clearly in charge had enough goodwillin him to leave me alive for the time being. Slowly I open my eyes and gradually I became aware

of my surroundings. The floors and walls were made of earth which trapped the heat so the roomwas warm and cozy. The room was brightly lit and simply furnished, one table, one bed, side

table and a couple of chairs. The chairs were occupied, the younger man had tousled black hairand serious eyes that twinkled with mischief. His face was pleasant and is formed into a worried

expression. His face looks familiar but Im having trouble placing where I had seen him before,

then it hits me it was Talib. The older man was unfamiliar. He had light brown hair streaked withgrey even though he did not look old enough to have them. His eyes are hazel, which arecrinkled at the sides showing that his eyes did all the smiling. The rest of his face is a

contradiction as it looks weary and worn. The corners of Talibs mouth curls into a smile as Istruggle to sit up. He passes me a cup of water, which I gulp down greedily, eager to quench the

fire within my throat.

Before I could open my mouth he said Youve been here for about a day or so and by the stateyou were in when Ethan found you Id say you were in the tunnel for about three days. My guess

is you fell and hit your head and you hit it so hard Id be surprised if you even felt it!

Who are you and where am I? I demand nodding my head towards the stranger.

Im Ethan the leader of the Resistance. You are in the Falynn headquarters. he replies

seriously.

I blink dumbly trying to get the words he had said to register. I have found them or moreaccurately they have found me.


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The next words fly from my mouth in a jumble, I need to find my brother, and I need to go.

I launch myself from the bed and pull on my boots. Talib immediately jumps to his feet andtentatively put his hand on my arm which only earns him a hard glare so he removes his hand

quickly, clearly remembering the last time he touched me conscious.

Look let me come with you, besides you dont know the city and then theres he trails off,not wanting to finish what he was going to say due to the you finish that sentence Ill kill you

look coming from Ethan.

I need to find my brother come if you want but get in my way and I will kill you. I threaten.

Girls got spunk Ill give her that, well have to watch out for this one. Ethan comments as his

face lightens a little.

Turning on my heel I silently leave the room. I roll my eyes when I hear Talibs stomping feet

following.

This way. he says.

Finally we reach my destination. Taking a deep breath I turn the door knob and enter, knowingwhat awaits me on the other side.

Kayleb was pacing and running his hands fretfully through his hair while muttering under his

breath. I stifle a stray giggle that escapes my lips at the familiar gestures that my brother makeswhen hes worried. His head snaps up at the sound and the worry drains from his features and

replaced by his signature grin. His eyes bored into mine, understanding dawned on him and

within seconds he had enveloped me in a hug.

He murmured in my ear Youll be alright.

How can you be so sure? I questioned my voice empty of emotion.

He did not reply knowing I did not require an answer but hugs me tighter. I bury my head in hisshoulder hoping that I could hide myself and everything will go away and it would all turn out to

be a bad dream. No such luck.

After collecting our possessions, we return with Talib to the tunnels.

Chapter 6

I bolt awake, anger flooding me and draining away quickly as I peer through the dark that

surrounds me. Hollowness follows me everywhere I go, no matter how far I try to run or ignoreit. It comes. Follows me like a hungry beast waiting to devour. Often I give in. It is easier than

fighting, it is better just to give up. So the dark swallows me and the emptiness reigns.


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I swing my legs out of the bed and without realizing it I find myself next door staring at Kaylebssleeping face. He looks so peaceful. I show emotion for his benefit, it hurts him to see me this

way but as much as I want to let myself feel the emotions that I allow to flicker across my face, Icannot. It is not possible the walls around my heart are too thick only the worst of my emotions

trickle through. The dark in me that I have given in to only allows the worst. My fingers find the

ridges in my skin and trace their patterns up my arm, resting on the letter on my shoulder.Memories fill my mind.

Holding tight to Suri we rode as hard and as fast as the horse could go. The wind whipped myhair back and I clung tighter afraid I would fall and be left behind. The world blurred changed

too quickly to tell where we were going and when I asked the only reply was somewhere safe.Safe the word felt foreign and strange in my head as if I had already forgotten the meaning

even when only two short days ago it was all I had ever known. Loss and pain conquered myheart until it was all I felt and fear still pervaded every part of me, both uncontrollable and

unstoppable.

Days passed and I said nothing. Suri became worried as I did not speak and I jumped at thesound of a twig breaking. This is what the fear had reduced me to. My six year old brain

stretched to breaking point and snapped. Black engulfed me and I saw the dark beckon. Itpromised an end to the fear, the end of the pain that filled my heart. I hesitated, unsure. I was

tired of feeling fear and pain. It was reason enough for me so I gave in.

The dark took over. My feelings ceased to exist.

Blinking I come back to the present slightly dazed at the remembered emotions that I should feel

but do not. Silently I leave the room. I haunt the earthen corridors for the rest of the night, aghost flitting from shadow to shadow, barely within the realms of existence.

Chapter 7

Breakfast is awkward, all conversation stops and all eyes train themselves on us, suspicionradiating from their tense bodies. We sat down at an empty table. Shortly after, they returned to

their porridge except for one. He glares at us with open hostility.

I take my time to inspect him as I may as well know who to avoid. He has shortish blonde curlsthat tumble over his forehead. He may have been handsome if not for the scowl that contorts his

features. I could tell his chest and arms are well muscled, even though the tunic hes wearing butstill slim compared to some of the men around him.

It is then I notice that most of the hall are filled with mostly men and only a few tables containedwomen and children and only the older men sit with them, clearly they are families. Although

there are a couple of other women who look a bit older than me sit with the younger men.

When we finish eating, Talib beckons us to him from the doorway.


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As we walk Kayleb opens his mouth and asks Where are we going?

To Ethan he replies seriously which over the last few days I found, for him is unusual.

Nearly every time I had seen him he has a smile plastered across his face with a mischievous

glint in his eye. This time however they are serious and he keeps his face carefully blank, whennormally I can read him like an open book. Glancing over at Kayleb I can see hes worried at thischange. Talib stops and knocks formally at the door in front of us. Kayleb shoots me a let me do

the talking and do not say a word or do anything rash look. I send an innocent when do I doanything rash look in reply. Kayleb shakes his head slightly at me, reiterating his point as we

enter. I take a deep breath and release it slowly before I absorb my surroundings.

In front of me is a desk with Ethan sitting behind it and several others stand around him. I

allowed my eyes to drift to the walls of the room which are bare and the floor is covered with arug. Shifting my attention to the serious faces gazing at us, I examine Ethans features hoping

that I could extract a clue as to the reason we are here but to no avail.

Why were you in the tunnels? Ethan demands, breaking the tense silence encompassing theroom.

I glance at Kayleb, his eyes begging me to keep quiet and let him explain but words tumble from

my mouth without my permission.

Hows it any business of yours where I am? I say my face blank and my voice empty.

Out of the corner of my eye I see one of the younger men break his gaze towards me, unsettled at

my tone of voice.

She was in your tunnels because we were looking for the resistance so we could help fight.Kayleb broke in hurriedly as the atmosphere quickly turns to open hostility as the man to Ethans

right put his hand to his sword hilt. I realize the man with his hand on his hilt was the blondeman I saw at breakfast glaring at us.

I grit my teeth and take a deep breath before I say anything else that would cause a fight. I guessKaylebs right on that account. For no reason I feel rage flare and boil within me, something of it

must show in my eyes as the same young man that broke his gaze takes a slightly involuntarystep back. The man with his hand on his hilt loosened the blade a little for a quicker draw.

Kayleb noticing these things reaches out and puts his hand on my arm to calm me. Only then didI realize my fists are clenched and my sides, with difficulty I unclench them. I focus on Kayleb,calm and collected as usual. Struggling to bring myself under control I try and push my emotions

away and attempt to emulate Kayleb. Slowly I calm, feeling the tension ease away from mybody. Kayleb sensing this drops his hand.


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My inner battle felt like it had raged for hours when the reality had been a few minutes. Glancingaround I see that it was long enough for actual fear to enter a couple of the mens eyes. I have no

idea what they saw when I was fighting but it was bad, I can tell that much.

Why should we allow her to join us? the man with his hand on his hilt demanded angrily She

has the same look as Tamaracks elite. How do we know shes not one of them?

I recognized his voice but I couldnt quite place where I had heard it.

Quiet Jason. Ethan commands and he falls silent That is a good question why should we letyou join us, give us reason to trust you.

Tamarack killed our parents. We dont want others to have to go through what we had to.

Kayleb replies, his face darkening a little.

For now well let you stay but the second you give us reason to doubt you, Ill kill you both

personally. a hint of threat enters Ethans voice as he speaks the last part.

Jason is clearly furious at the verdict and promptly storms from the room cursing under hisbreath. Talib flashes me a grin, which looks far more natural on his face than the blank serious

look he had adopted for meeting. Kayleb let out a puff of breath as the anxiety left his body. Igave Kayleb an encouraging smile and gave him a quick hug that he clearly needed before we

left the room.

Talib I want to talk to you. Ethan mentions as we leave the room.

As soon as we leave Talib closes the door.

Chapter 8

Okay Ill be testing your abilities, to find out what you are made of. announces Connor. I

notice he was one of the men in Ethans study. Only now did I take a proper look at his face. Hehas light brown hair flecked with blonde. His nose looks as if it had been broken a couple of

times and accompanied with a nasty scar across his neck.

I step forward while drawing my swords and dropping into a fighting stance. Left foot forward,right foot back, swords at the ready.

Suddenly without warning Connor lunges and the first clang of blades fills the empty practicehall. Twirling left I make my first attack, bringing the sword in my right hand down toward his

exposed back. Regaining his balance he spins and meets my sword with his own. Soon ourmovements were a blur that consists of bock, parry and attack.

I match him move for move careful not to outdo him as I had no wish reveal too much of my

abilities even to those on my own team. Still, he made me work hard and 15minutes later wereboth breathing hard.


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Sheathing my swords, I felt the slickness of sweat on my palms on the hilts as I release them.

Connor wipes a sleeve against his forehead and gasps Well you certainly have done well,

I nod back in acknowledgement and turning promptly on my heel I grab a towel as I exit the hall.

A few turns and later and I see Jason walking down the hall. At that point he looks up and his

smooth features form a scowl.

Get out my way, Jason growls.

The familiar fury ignites due to Jasons attitude flares. My fingers twitch, ready to become fistsat a moments notice. I take a deep controlling breath so I could delay saying the next stupid

thing to fall from my lips in front of him.

Why should I? I demand rather than question and before he could say anything I say And

while I have your attention Id like to enquire as to why you are so intent on killing me as Ivenever done anything to you. I let a hint of anger leek into my normally emotionless voice.

Because I dont trust you. I dont like the look in your eye, it doesnt help I can see it now. I

know your one of them, its no use persuading me otherwise. after his statement he barges hisway past me.

Having no wish to follow him and not wanting to put my brother in jeopardy by killing him

which I am sure I will do if I did so I quickly made my way to my room.

I blow out the light and stand in the darkness. I glare into the blackness. The anger subsides to a

simmer but it is less directed at Jason and more at myself, the situation I have found myself inand most of all at Tamarack. He stole my parents from me along with my innocence. Why? Its a

question that haunts me every moment of every waking minute. I see his face smirk through theshadows, the face that took everything from me. Well almost everything, I have still have

Kayleb.

Memories consume me.

Slowly I slid from the horse Suri and I was riding. Not quite ready to believe we were somewheresafe. I peer around the horse and catch a glimpse of something running toward me in the

twilight. Instantly I tensed, believing it was an attack. Then I recognized Kaylebs face as he got

closer. I relaxed slightly as he pulled me into a hug. When he released me and had a proper lookat me in the fading light he could see I was different, that I did not mirror the relief in his face. Igazed blankly into his eyes trying to decipher his thoughts, slowly pain filled them. He could tell,

as much as I had tried to protect him he knew, he could tell that even though I was physicallythere and alive, inside I was dead. Part of me died with our parents and I didnt know how to get

it back.


14/46

In a vain effort to try and alleviate some of Kaylebs pain, the first words that had left my mouthfor the entire of my journey to the mountain hideout was a lie, Im okay, everything is going to

be okay. but I knew I was not, I did not know if I was going to be okay ever again, but forKaylebs sake I had to at least look like it.

Chapter 9

It feels good to have the breeze on my face after being cooped up for two weeks in the

airless tomb the Resistance calls their headquarters. Talib had come to get us an hour

ago telling Kayleb and I were needed for a raid. The Resistance needs more horses so

now we were slowly crawling up a steep slope just outside the city to the horse

paddocks Tamaracks men own.

Jason signals us to stop while he carries on a couple meters to the side of the stable to

peer round the side to check where the guards are. Nodding to Talib and putting up two

fingers, indicating the number of guards nearest to us and then changing it to four asthe total in the immediate area. Jason silently moved round the corner and I heard the

thump of a body shortly followed by a second that had been dispatched by Talib. The

rest of us follow.

I carefully tread around the bodies. Sneaking up behind a third guard I slit his throat and

let him sink to the ground. The fourth fights back a little against Connor as he has

noticed his companions are dead but before he can raise the alarm hes killed with a

sword in the chest. His blade clatters to the ground making everyone wince at the sound

and freeze to listen intently for any curious guards coming to investigate. When no

shouts or footsteps ensue we let out a collective sigh of relief.

We slide through the stable doors and started saddling up every horse. A few minutes

later about fifteen horses are ready to go. Casting a glance at Kayleb to check hes

ready I leap onto a horse and grab another two by their reigns as did the others.

Now the time for caution is gone. The stable doors bang open as Jason leads us

thundering down the hill. Shouts of alarm fill the air but fade quickly as we put distance

between us and them. I hear Kayleb cry out and shortly after a thump that tells me hes

fallen from his horse. Instantly I stop and turn back, ignoring Jasons angry yells telling

me to leave him.

There was no way I was leaving the only family I had left. I promised I would not leave

him and I am not going to go back on my word now. Sliding from the horse I haul Kayleb

onto the horse and climb up myself.


15/46

The scenery flies by. I have never ridden to fast, my hand never leaving Kayleb

unconscious form that is draped in front of me.

My vision blurred. Memories flashes from the first night we spent in the mountain

hideout.

I tossed and turned for hours; every time I closed my eyes I saw their deaths over and

over again. Hearing footsteps slap against the stone and enter my room, I sat up and

saw Kayleb standing by the door.

Are you awake? he whispered.

Yes. Whats wrong? I questioned as he crossed the room and climbed into the four

poster bed next to me.

I was afraid he trailed off, patiently I waited for him to continue, after a coupleminutes of silence he carried on, That you had left me and that you would never come

back, so I came to check you were still here.

Pulling into a hug I whispered fiercely into his ear with conviction I wont ever leave

you, you hear me never.

Promise?

I promise, Ill never leave you I replied.

Slowly we came to a halt. Jason realizing we were back with them turns furiously

towards me, yelling words that refuse to form meanings in my head, so I just ignore him

which infuriates him more.

Once my feet reach solid ground Jason clutches my shoulder and spins me to face him.

Dont ignore me! Im your commanding officer. You cant go gallivanting off, following

your own rules! You could have gotten us all killed! he fumes.

But I didnt, I dead pan before turning the inspect Kaylebs wound.

An arrow protrudes from his back and bloods slowly seeping through the fabric of his

tunic.

Cracks appear in the walls around my heart. The dark stirs.


16/46

Please dont leave me, please I thought desperately as I begin to lay him on his front in

preparation for what I was about to do.

Quickly my fingers grasp the arrow shaft and snap it. I move quickly and robotically

because I know if I let myself even consider the possibility that Kayleb might not live, I

do not know what I would do.

Bringing my dagger up I cut away Kaylebs shirt to expose the skin. Next I pull sharply

and swiftly, to remove the arrow head. More blood pours from the wound. I breathe

sharply smelling the blood wafting up to meet my nose. Then olive colored hands press

against the wound, to stem the flow a little. I glance up and meet Talibs face. I give him

a small smile in gratitude and then turning to dig out the bandages in the pouch at my

waist.

Focusing on the motions of wrapping the bandages around Kaylebs bodys the only

thing keeping me functioning at this point. Soon it was done.

Turning Kayleb over, I gaze into his unconscious face.

Itll be alright. Talib said in an attempt to comfort me and for the first time for as long as

I can remember I honestly want it to be true.

Chapter 10

Now that we are back in the tunnels I never left Kaylebs side. No one dares to come into the

room. A dangerous glare sent them back through the door, only Talib came but even he knew notto push me so he only brings food, water and the fresh bandages I asked him for.

Kayleb still hasnt woken but his chest rises and falls evenly which is the only thing thatreassures me he sleeping.

I shouldnt have left. I knew he would come with me. My mind turns inwards anger directed atmyself. Its my fault he got shot. I should have stayed at the hideout that had been our home for

twelve years with only Dagon and Suri for company but its too late now. I cant turn back time,no matter how much I wish for it.

Startled, I wake from my restless sleep. All I can hear is Kaylebs steady breathing and quicklyfading footsteps. Curious, I silently follow the sound. In the dimness I glimpse Talib turninganother corner.

Several minutes later we emerge into a wood clearing. I stop at the entrance before the door

closed and peek through the gap. Talib moves to the center and flops onto his back and gazes upat the sparkling blanket of night above.


17/46

Slowly I open the door wider and leave through the opening.

I lower myself down next to him and lay back and stare up at the stars. We lie in silence for afew minutes. I knew he would talk when he was ready and besides it was a comfortable silence,

the kind you just enjoy the company so there was no need to break it.

How is he? Talib asks softly with genuine concern in his voice.

Hell live, I hope I added quietly to myself.

A slight rustle and I feel his hand rest on my arm. It felt warm.

As if knowing what I was thinking he turned on his side to face me and flashes a comforting

smile, Hell be alright and dont ever think its your fault because its not.

He looked so sure that for the first time I scarcely let myself believe him. I feel comforted, the

feeling feels foreign and strange but its nice.

Thank you. Im not quite sure what Im thanking him for but I still feel grateful for it.

Words arent needed as we share a silent understanding.

Nothing is said for an hour but for the first time I wonder what his story is. Everyone joins the

Resistance for a reason so whats his?

Talib, I start.

Yes, he mumbles.

Why did you join the Resistance? my fingers fiddle with the hem of my shirt, not expecting

him to answer.

Im here because I cant just stand by and watch innocent people die, all Tamarack has broughtis pain and suffering. Besides I couldnt say no to Ethan, not after he took me in.

What do you mean? I probe carefully, thinking he would shut me out if I push too much for

answers.

I grew up in the gutter, which means I had no home to speak of. I was a thief, out of necessity,not out of choice. It was the only way I could live. Ethan found me and took me in about fiveyears ago, taught me to wield a sword and when he felt I was ready he asked me to join the

ranks. he rushed through it in one breath which makes me think hes hiding something but Idont push it because when hes ready hell tell me but one way or another Ill probably find out.

Chapter 11


18/46

Following the steady flow of bodies to the food hall, I wonder what the big news is. Talk andrumors have been flying everywhere and now we are finally finding out whats going on.

Now that I have been here a couple of months I know most people by face if not by name, the

rumors have been spreading since a couple of strangers showed up a couple of days ago. When I

first saw them the first thing I noticed was the air of authority they held. The one that looked likehe was the leader of the two was tall and well-muscled with dark brown hair and a hard glint inhis eye. The second was only a little shorter and well-muscled too but his dark brown hair was

speckled with blonde.

Ethan and the two strangers with a few others had been in meetings since, the only time youwould see any of them would be at meal times and even then, they usually had it brought to

them.

Entering the hall I glimpse Kayleb making his way over to me, closely trailed by Talib and

Cassidy. I flash Kayleb a smile because for the first time in a week I feel like I can finally

breathe now that hes out of bed. I send a nod in Cassidy and Talibs direction and in return Ireceive a small wave from Cassidy and a beaming grin from Talib.

A thick silence settles around the room. Ethan stands at one end with the two strangers next tohim, Connor and Jason were further back.

As you are well aware we have been waiting for this for many years and the time has come, to

strike directly to the very heart of the evil the holds this land! Ethans voice rings though thehall.

Murmurs ripple through the crowd. I glance at Kayleb and out of the corner of my eye I see

Cassidy pale slightly and Kayleb slides his hand into hers while murmuring somethingindecipherable in her ear.

A different voice brings my attention back to the front.

Now is our time! Now is the time to free ourselves and our loved ones from Tamarack! Now wewill get our FREEDOM! the taller stranger roared.

Cheers erupt and vibrate within the walls of the room. Slowly the thundering dies down and hebegins to speak again.

I have decided on what we are going to do, at this I shoot a puzzled look at Talib who leansover and tells me hell explain later, We are going to make our way in pairs to the capital over aperiod of a month, Tamarack shouldnt suspect a thing as I have planned it all to coincide with

the New Years festivals so there will be more travelers on the road than usual. There you willreceive further instructions. You are dismissed. promptly he leaves before anyone can react.

I grab Talib and drag him to an empty room.


19/46

Who is that guy? Shouldnt Ethan be making the plans as hes leader. I question furiously.

I guess since they trusted you enough to notify you of the meeting Ill assume its alright for meto tell you, he grins, Hes Darryl, the real leader of the Resistance, Ethan is just the public face

so that if any assassinations ever did succeed then the Resistance would still be able to go on.

The reason you were told Ethan was the leader was because you hadnt proven yourselftrustworthy yet and it didnt help your case as Jason was claiming you were a spy. Youre justlucky they we found you passed out with a concussion or his argument might have had some

weight. Talib finishes and his grin, if it was possible, gets even wider.

I send a mock glare in his direction. Then the mischievous glint he had in his eye shines through.

Oh and one more thing you should know your paired up with me! he smirks, barely holding

back a chuckle at the annoyance that fills my face.

Sending Talib a scowl I push past him.

I stomp down the corridor, determined to get away from his smirk. Fingers wrap around mywrist. I yank my arm away from the touch but his hand only tightens. Grabbing my other wrist he

pins me to the wall by my wrists, knowing I would get away the instant he relaxed. He pushedhis body against mine so I dont have the room to kick him.

Get off me! I growl.

Listen to me for just a minute. Talib replies urgently.

You have two seconds. I say in defeat, knowing I wasnt going anywhere pinned like this.

Look Im sorry for laughing at you, forgive me? a slight pleading tone creeps into his voice,

telling me hes genuinely sorry.

I stay silent and continue to glare at him.

I wont let you go until you do. giving me a teasing good natured smile.

Slowly I became aware of the how close we were. I could feel his breath tickle my cheek. I could

feel a burning warmth creep into the skin on my wrists, beneath his hands. My heartbeat pickedup, it was so loud I was sure Talib could hear it. The burning warmth is pleasant but I dont like

it. The feeling is alien and unfamiliar, making me want to run away. Futilely I struggle, trappedbetween the wall and his body weight pressing me to it, there was no hope of breaking free.

Falling still, I finally admit defeat Fine. Ill get him back later in training I promise myself

mentally.

Chapter 12


20/46

The next days training never came. Talib and I have been ordered to be ready to leave shortlyafter dawn.

I make my way to the hospital to find Kayleb and say goodbye. He wont be coming with us

because of his wound hes not fit to fight. Cassidy is training him as a medic so he will still be

helping but not fighting. Im relieved he wont be with me in a way because I dont know how Id be able to cope if he died but in another way Im sad I have to leave him here, weve neverbeen apart for as long as we will be.

Tapping Kayleb on the shoulder I pull him into a hug as he turns round.

Goodbye. I whisper, I feel like Ill never see him again.

Goodbye, promise youll come back to me. he whispers urgently.

I pull back, Dont make me make a promise that I dont know if I can keep,

Please, dont throw your life away he begs.

I wont, see you soon.

I grab my bags and weapons and make my way through the corridors to the stables.

Reality begins to set in. Im actually going to the capital! Im finally going to be stoppingTamarack. Hell regret what he did, Ill make him regret it.

Youre leaving now, Cassidy says, dragging me from my thoughts.

Yes, I reply

Ill walk with you, I need to say goodbye to Talib as well she chirped.

If you want,

Cassidy starts to babble incessantly able this and that, it makes me wonder if the girl has time tobreathe. Why cant she just shut up! No one wants to hear your drivel! Still, I dont say a word. I

can tell Kayleb cares about her, I cant see why but he does. I put up with her for him. Although Ifeel like Im losing him, like hes drifting away and theres nothing I can do to stop him.

Realizing were at the stables I take my horses reigns and swing onto the saddle while Talibgives Cassidy a quick hug and mounts his own steed. Cassidy opens the doors for us and we set

off.

Okay, our cover story if we are ever questioned is that we are a newly married couple and weare on our way to the capital for our honeymoon and the New Years festivities. he informed

me, a hint of glee creeps into his voice.


21/46

Why couldnt we be brother and sister or friends? I complain

We dont look enough like each other for a start and it would look suspicious if a young ladyand a young man were travelling together that werent related or had no older man or woman

accompanying them, he explains.

Fine. I concede, he has a point even though we have the same hair color and olive tonecomplexion our faces look completely different.

That night we set up camp.

Flames flicker in the dark. Twisted flames reflect in my eyes as I gaze into its depths, searchingfor answers but only finding my questions.

Once again the nightmares had come and once again I woke with silent anger.

Hey, you okay? Talib murmured sleepily.

Yes. emotion absent from my voice.

No youre not, he states softly while settling beside me.

I am, leave me alone standing I walk into the darkness.

Talib stands, No youre not, he repeats more loudly, please tell me whats wrong, he begs.

No, I stop to face him.

Tell me, I want to help. he pushes.

No,

Tell me he repeats louder.

You havent seen what Ive seen, you wont understand, I reply.

Pain flashes briefly through Talibs eyes, Who are you to judge what I have seen and what I

will understand, you dont know everything thats happened in my life! he shouts bitterness and

harshness apparent.

Sharp daggers of water fall from the sky, soaking us instantly. The rain trickles down Talibs

face, making him look like hes crying.

Uncharacteristically anger enters his voice You have no idea! You push people away every

chance you get! When all we want to do is help you! Its you that doesnt UNDERSTAND! hescreams the last part, frustration contorting his features, You think youre so strong but you are


22/46

the weak one! Every person that joins the Resistance joins because they lost someone, they learnto move on! Youre weak because you havent! he continues spitefully.

Rage flares within me shattering my emotionless shelter, SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING

ABOUT ME! I scream.

Then tell me! Educate me! he cries his voice dripping with sarcasm I didnt think hepossessed.

FINE! I scream even louder as a boom of thunder resonates, Tamarack killed my parents! Ipulled at my shirt off, beyond caring that I was half naked in front of him and pointed to my

scars, This is what he did to me! I turn to show the carved letter there.

I turn back breathing heavily.

Im going to kill him, because of him people are dying! I cant stand by anymore! I shout once

more.

Talibs anger drained from his face only to be replaced by pity. Pitys worse than anger. I candeal with him being mad at me but pity, no.

Youre right, I did know nothing about you, but you didnt join to help people, you joined for a

much more selfish reason, he replies so quietly I could barely hear him above rain.

No, I joined to help people! I contradict.

No you didnt he replies slowly getting louder, Why did you join the resistance?

To help people! I shout louder, feeling a little less sure about my reasons.

Why did you join! he pushed getting louder.

It takes me a little longer to reply and Im even less sure about my reasons.

Tell me why you want to kill Tamarack? he shouts just as loud, trying a different tact.

I give him the same answer as before. I begin to search within myself trying to find the answer.

He repeats himself. This time I stay silent.

You know dont you, tell me WHY! he shouts the last part louder.

FINE! REVENGE! I scream so loud my own ear drums complained at its loudness, revenge,

I say barely above a whisper.

The walls round my heart crumbles, leaving ruins. The dark stirs.


23/46

I collapse sobbing. For the first time I let myself grieve for my parents and for myself. The painin my heart hurts so much I feel as if I should die.

Vaguely Im aware of strong arms encircling me and carrying me to the now smoldering fire. I

bury my face into Talibs chest, clutching at his wet tunic as he sets me down. He never lets go

he just holds me tight, murmuring into my hair.

Emotions I havent felt for twelve years hammer against me in a whirl, pounding unrelentingly

like the rain on my skin. Daggers stab at my heart and wrench it from me painfully and reinsert itin the most excruciating way possible. I hurt so much I long for the emptiness to consume me but

for once it lets me down. My body shudders and curls closer in on itself in a futile effort to shieldmyself as it intensifies.

It feels like days as the pain increases tenfold.

Finally exhaustion overtakes me, emotionally spent I sink gratefully into oblivion.

Chapter 13

Mama! You got me! I laughed as Mama grabbed me around the middle and holding me in the

air smiling.

Gently she sets me on the ground and I run off at a sprint once again, loving our game. Onceagain she caught me and swung me through the air before sinking to the floor cradling me in her

arms. I felt safe and comfortable. Mama made daisy chains while singing softly to me.

Soon my three year old self sleepily settled into her arms and fell asleep with a murmured

question on my lips Can we play again tomorrow?

Yes we can. Mama replies but I never heard her, I was already asleep.

I wake to find myself beneath a blanket but keep my eyes closed as I enjoy the warmth of the sunresting on me. I feel different but a good different, lighter somehow as if a huge weight has been

lifted or letting out a huge breath that Ive been holding for too long.

I reach for the tunic I had discarded last night which is now drying in the sunshine. I feel mycheeks go warm at the memory, now seeing it in the light of day I feel slightly embarrassed at

my half nakedness. Quickly I pull on my shirt before Talib returns as I cant see him in the

immediate area.

I hear a rustle and stiffen. I turn to see Talib returning through some bushes. His face flushesslightly red when he sees me. I finish packing the blanket onto my horse refusing to meet his eye.

I jump onto my horse and set off not bothering to wait for Talib to follow.


24/46

Frantically I try and rebuild the walls around my heart but they only build half as high andcrumbly like the lightest of touches will shatter it.

I wont let him in again even my own brother could break the walls. Not in my entire life has my

brother seen me cry but in one night Talib held me while I cried the most I had in my entire life.

It shows weakness and if I show weakness how am I supposed to kill Tamarack?

I try to shut down. I school my face into a blank mask. I dont say a word.

We set up camp in silence. Every time I catch Talibs eye he lowers his and blushes furiously.Sometimes I can feel his eyes boring through the fabric of my tunic to where my scars lie.

We sit and stare into the fire. This time the silence is awkward. Talib keeps looking like he is

about to break it but thinks better of it and doesnt. Im tempted to tell him to just spit it outalready but I keep my silence.

Look Im sorry, I had no idea. Talib begins to say softly, he sounded like he actually cared butfor once I dont want to believe it I dont know if you were aware but last night you weremuttering things I couldnt make out but just before you fell asleep you asked me who I lost

he trails off.

I stay silent. He waits for me to say something. I dont.

I lost my little sister, he pauses briefly pain flashing across his face before becoming carefully

blank.

We were in the market. I was stealing some bread from the baker. I turned my back for one

second. Just one second, a hint of frustration enters his voice when he says one second Shethought shed help and went to try and steal some apples but got caught. His eyes glaze overrecalling the events of his past not seeing the fire but whatever happened to his little sister I saw

the guards coming, I ran but not fast enough. They had her. They dragged her into an alley. I gotthere and they saw me and grabbed me. I struggled and tried to get her away from them but they

were too strong. They slit her throat in front of me. his words falter as he brings the back of histo his mouth and closing his eyes at the memory.

I want to comfort him, hold him in my arms and tell him everything will be alright but how can Isay that to him when I dont even believe it myself. Now I know, he was right I didnt know

what had happened to him in his life but now I understand why he didnt tell me the night in the

clearing, the memory hurt too much. Hes moved on and let it go but the memory still hurts. Iunderstand pain.

I joined because I dont want anyone else to lose anymore loved ones. he chokes out.

I could tell he meant it, not like me. I used it as an excuse I think bitterly as anger clouds myfeatures.


25/46

He quickly collects himself. I wish I could be better but I dont know any other way. I turn awayin shame and stand to walk into the darkness leaving the light and Talib behind.

Chapter 14

We see no one on the road save for the odd merchant or farmer on their way to neighboringvillages.

Toward dusk I see I a cloud of dust in the distance. Soon I can make out a pair of armored

figures.

Halt! State your business for travelling. one of the soldiers demanded.

Talib instantly reaches to take my hand in his as a warning to leave the talking to him. I let himconsidering my record.

Me and my wife are travelling to the capital for our honeymoon. he explains calmly.

Shes a pretty one aint she. the second one comments as he brings his horse next to mine,implying something thats become common since Tamarack took over.

Maybe we should stop and have proper talk, the first one that spoke adds but the way he said it

implies anything but.

I tense ready to draw the dagger hidden in my sleeve. Talib squeezes my hand in warning.

Look we should really be on our way, my cousin is expecting us and were already late. the lie

rolls easily off Talibs tongue.

Im sure they wont mind if your late. the second soldier replies as he puts his hand onto myknee.

I cant take it anymore.

Remove your hand from my knee or you will regret it, I say stiffly.

And if I dont? he leans in closer

You have three seconds, I warn.

Oh really,

1

He slides his hand from my knee to just above it.


26/46

2.

He leans so close to my face I can feel his hot breath on my face.

3. in one swift motion I insert the dagger between his chest plates into his heart. Blood soaks

his body.

Times up, I whisper into his ear as his face registers surprise before withdrawing my bladeand letting him topple from his horse.

Talib dispatches the other soldier with ease and catches the reigns of the soldiers horses in the

space of few seconds.

I raise a questioning eyebrow.

Make it look like a robbery, makes it look less suspicious. he explains.

We gallop off intending to put as much distance between us and the dead soldiers as possible.

In the next town we drop the guards horses with a couple of men who will smuggle the horses

back to Falynn. Several days later we finally arrive in the capital.

Cendryk is about the same size as Falynn and just as busy. Forcing our way through the heaving

masses we search for the inn we are supposed to meet Ethan in.

Finally arriving in our meeting place we spot Ethan in the corner of the tavern and make our wayover, dodging patrons and tables.

Theres a huge underground network beneath the city that we will be staying in, Ethan says

quietly, without bothering to greet us, This way.

He leads down into the cellar after surreptitiously checking the room to see if anyone is paying

any attention to us, once hes satisfied we duck inside.

Huge barrels line the stone walls with bottles of wine lying in racks creating corridors. Lit lampsare hung every few feet to light the way.

Ethan takes us to the back of the cellar and stops in front of one of the huge barrels. He turns the

tap attached to it three full turns clockwise and one half turn anticlockwise before pulling it andit slides out an inch. The front of the barrel swings open accompanied by a faint grinding noise.

We climb in just before the door of the barrel shuts behind us.

Chapter 15


27/46

Weve been stuck in here for a week. If Im stuck here for much longer Ill probably go afterTamarack with or without orders so its a good thing were leaving tonight.

I pause from cleaning my swords when I hear Talib come in. Sneaking a glance at him I see hes

leaning against the doorframe. He looks different, handsome.

Weve barely talked since that night. I barely want to admit it to myself but I miss him.

Slowly I put my sword down to join the array of daggers on my bed and stand. He walks over to

me and stands a little too close in front of me.

Look I dont want to leave things the way they are, he says softly, uncertainty clouding hisfeatures, Ive never seen him this unsure, Can we go back to the way things were?

The words Okay, tumble from my lips before I can stop them.

He envelops me in a hug. I stiffen. Slowly I relax into him, bathing in his warmth and the senseof safety I feel in his arms. Then it dawns on me, the reason Ive been shutting him out. Im

terrified of losing him, I care about him and it scares me.

Promise me you wont die, I beg softly before it fully processes through my brain.

I wont. he whispers back with so much certainty that all I can do is believe him.

The walls around my heart crumble a little more. The dark stirs.

Finally we release each other but we dont step back. Its like an invisible thread is tying us

together preventing us from moving. My eyes are drawn to his like magnets. I feel myself fallinginto his dark brown eyes. Talibs eyes fell to my lips, nervously I lick them not sure what were

doing. Butterflies burst through my stomach as my heart beats frantically.

Slowly his head comes down as if afraid I might bolt if he moves too quickly. Our lips brushlightly, his searching for consent to continue, sparks fly. My breath catches at the contact, my

body crying for more, his wanting the same. Talibs press his lips against mine more firmly butstill soft with barely controlled passion, still in shock I dont respond at first. Just as Talib starts

to pull away I recover and my body takes over shutting down the higher functions of my brain asI begin to kiss back, our lips moving in sync. Fire spreads through me, consuming me as his arms

encircle my waist pulling me closer to him deepening the kiss. My hands reach up around his

neck and tangle themselves in his hair as I bring us closer. Where our skin meets tingles andsparks shoot through me.

Our bodies searching for dominance but neither of us are willing giving way. Over balancing

slightly my back ends up against the wall.

We break apart breathing heavily, our foreheads resting against each other. Grins plasterthemselves across our faces.


28/46

The fire I know destroys but this, this fire brings life. Its terrifying, Ive never felt this close tosomeone but somehow I crave more, the addiction, the drug that intoxicates me to my very core,

Talib.

We kiss again but this time its different, its soft and tender. Our passions more controlled

softer. I feel like Im saying goodbye as if Im expecting to die tonight. Maybe I will.

The muffled jingle of chainmail and the thud of footsteps echo in the tunnels. Pulling us from our

own little world and reminding us its time to leave. Reluctantly I untangle myself from Talibsembrace and attach my weapons to my waist.

Talib interlocks his fingers with mine.

Now you had better not die, not after that or Ill be extremely pissed at you, I murmur at him,trying to regain some composure but its not working very well as I feel my cheeks blush.

Then I guess I wont then, he murmurs in reply.

I tug his hand and we leave to report to Connor our squad captain.

About time you two got together, Connor laughs looking pointedly at our joined hands, Okaypay up, he puts out his hand to his second in command.

Fine, but you only just won, he grumbled before handing over some money.

You had a bet, I growl dangerously,

Whoa, it was just a bit of fun, I bet you guys would get together before the battle tonight and hebet it would be in the next three months after tonights battle, see just some harmless fun,

Connor nervously tries to joke.

Talib squeezes my hand and murmurs Let it go, in my ear.

Come on lets just go. I grumble and we head through the tunnels that lead just past the outer

walls of the palace but a better term would be fortress. Gathering with six other squads at ourentrance we open the door and charge.

The clangs of swords ring out harsh and discordant in the night air. The shouts of dying men

reach my ears as the world is painted with blood.

I block, parry and stab robotically, not letting myself think for a second and let instinct take over.Slowly but surely carving a path of through the fighting leaving a trail of death I make my way

towards the throne room where I know my enemy lies and where my revenge will take place.

I whirl bringing my sword down once again delivering death. I see Talib couple of meters away

desperately fending off four of Tamaracks soldiers. Red tinges my vision as I run to where he is


29/46

and cut two of them down while they are distracted by Talib. The third spins round to meet myblade. We fight furiously for a full five minutes exchanging blow for blow but then he makes a

mistake. A small smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I strike at the opening. His eyes widenas the life slips from them.

I hurry to a door and slide through. The noise is muted by the thick walls making the battle thatrages outside sound far away and distant. Im in a servants hall. I sprint to join the main corridorthat leads to the throne room. Fighters crowd the hall as I kill soldiers and dodge rebels as I

steadily make my way to my intended target.

I open the door and walk in. All sound outside fades to nothing as the door slams shut on it. Itsounds final as if its not just shutting everyone else out but also trapping me in as well.

I feel the familiar rage bubble up inside me and spill over. I let myself sink into the red haze thatdescends upon my vision. This time I dont try to fight it, I let it engulf me as the dark hovers

and wraps around me. I am ready for my revenge.

Chapter 16

Tamarack, I growl dangerously as he takes a step towards me.

Nothings changed about his appearance from the little I can remember. Hes tall with a leering

face. Raven black hair and clean shaven. He would have been handsome but for an ugly jaggedwhite scar just below his right eye, extending down across his cheek and past his mouth ending

just above his chin. His dead eyes gleam with murderous intent.

Jaya! his eyes widen in shock before narrowing to slits, How did you manage to live?

She didnt, you killed her. Im Kyra her daughter, Im surprised you dont remember me. Imean you did brand me for her torture. I reply icily.

Ah I should have known, she couldnt possibly have survived, but I thought you died fromblood loss from my decorations, he says slowly pausing briefly before saying decorations.

Well you thought wrong, now prepare to die. I answer venomously as I drop into a fighting

stance.

Let me guess revenge? Yes thats right, you came to kill me for such a selfish reason as

revenge. he chuckles a small smile forming showing his amusement, You know you and Iarent so different, it was the reason I killed your parents and now the reason I will kill you. Wehave the same look in our eyes, we are the same you allow the darkness to control you, you let it

feed off your emotions and worst of all you dont fight it, you let it descend and blanket itselfaround you until all you can feel is hate and anger. Am I right? he pauses as if waiting for an

answer but the look on his face tell me he already knows.

Ill never be like you! I cry anger flooding my features as my icy faade shatters.


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No? Then tell me why are our eyes the same? he grins darkly.

She has the same look as Tamaracks elite. How do we know shes not one of them?

Jason was right, as much as it pains me to admit it hes right, Tamarack and I are the same. Im

just like him.

I dont reply, instead I charge with my blades raised and strike.

Tamarack brings his sword to meet mine and the clang rings out. We meet blow for blow, thistime Im not holding back. We whirl in an erratic and deadly dance, waiting for the other to

make the first mistake.

20 minutes later I feel his blows weakening, his age is showing. Im tiring but it gives me newhope, I strike harder with renewed vigor. His sword clatters from his hand after I make an arm

jarring attack and skitters across the room. I blink surprised, but recover quickly and press the

edge of my sword against his neck. He freezes stunned for a second, feeling the cold metalagainst his skin.

Go on then do it! Kill me! Tamarack spits venomously.

The dark whispers Do it, do it. Take your revenge. It clouds my vision and takes control. Its

like have no control over my own body, as if Im on the outside looking in, watching the sceneunable to take control of my own part.

Slowly my blade press harder causing a little blood to seep over the blade. I grit my teeth, my

arm trembling ever so slightly in indecision.

Ill be just like him, if I kill him. He killed my parents. This is different, he deserves to die. I

press my blade harder, drawing a little more blood.

Wait, Kyra! I turn at the voice and see Talib at another door opposite me to my left from,where I am in the center of the room, before refocusing my attention on Tamarack, Killing him

wont bring your parents back. he finishes softly.

The dark coils tighter around me not wanting to release me, drawing me further in.

Youll regret it if you kill him, he reasons,

Ill regret it if I dont, I counter my voice trembling ever so slightly.

I slide further from the light.

Look at me. Talib demands.

I shut my eyes and look to my right, afraid of what he will see there.


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Look at me. he demands again my forcefully.

My eyes lock onto his, realization fills his eye. He knows Im not me, hes lost me and theresnothing he can do. I am lost to the dark. His eyes ignite with determination.

Come back to me, Talib begs,

The dark pulls me further in refusing to let go.

Come back to me, he pleads again, please, II love you. he stammers softly.

I blink stunned. Talib seeing this he presses further.

Kyra fight it, you can do it, come back to me,

The dark grabs and hold me firm as if anticipating something, dragging me further from the light

until black engulfs.

I start to fight, it boils and consumes but I fight. Following the speck of light that is slowlygetting bigger.

Talib seeing the turmoil within me steadily gives a stream of encouragement to keep me going.

The light is getting bigger. The dark begins to fight dirty, memories of my past flash before myeyes.

My fathers lifeless body was lying before me. Blood oozed lazily from the wound in his chest.

His were eyes wide and blank. My mother beside him with her side split open leaking red. Herface was slack and lifeless like her body.

The memory seems to taunt Tamrack did this he deserves to die. I falter, as if seeing it had theupper hand it pulls me back. The light grows dimmer.

Talibs voice calls me back. I struggle once again against the darks clutches. The light is at my

fingertips. Frantically the dark grips onto me harder but slowly losing its hold.

My blade leaves my grip. My boot connects with a satisfying crunch with Tamaracks face. Hefalls over unconscious.

I will never be like you, I choke out.

Im wont kill him but that doesnt mean I cant hurt him.

The dark grabs that thought in a last desperate attempt to keep me.

I move in for another kick, when arms grab me round the waist and hold me back.


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Let me go I want to beat this bastard to the ground! I yell, struggling against my constraints.

The dark begins to reel me back.

I love you Kyra come back to me, Talib whispers into my hair.

I make a last attempt to get to the light and the dark reluctantly releases me.

I stop struggling. I sink to the ground in shock, pulling Talib down with me. The haze that has

been covering me since I entered the room is gone. The rage slowly melts away and for the firsttime for as long as I can remember the dark isnt waiting to engulf me. I dont say a word.

Jason, Connor and a dozen other men I dont know rush in, shouting incoherent words at me,

their meanings remaining unformed in my brain. Talibs saying things back but everythingsounds muted, distorted and distant. I give up trying to listen and let myself relax into his chest

and let Talib be my rock.

Chapter 17

Kyra, Talib mumbles into my hair as I bury my face further into his chest. Im not ready to

surface from the numbness.

Kyra, he persists.

Go away let me stay numb for a little while.

Thankfully, he gives up and contents himself with carrying me to a room and settling me in his

arms on the bed.

Hours later I could feel myself begin to thaw and for the first time I feel like I can to begin to liveagain. For so long Ive been consumed by my need for revenge I stopped living and was stuck in

the past. Its only now that I realize this but the steady ache in my heart doesnt seem to lessen orgo away.

Will the ache ever go away? I murmur into Talibs shirt.

No but one day youll wake up and it wont hurt as much, he replies softly.

But I dont want to forget them. I argue quietly.

You wont, just because youre moving on doesnt mean youre forgetting them. Theyd want

you want you to move with your life and only now are you at a point that you can. I want you tobe able to with all my heart because I love you. I peek up at him and see the love shining within

them.


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At that point he never looked so handsome. His hair was messy and we were both still spatteredwith blood but it didnt matter. Gently I placed my lips against his and kiss him lightly before

moving back, creating some space between us.

I care about him nothing more I internally tell myself sternly. I cant love him but nor can I lose

him. I dont know if I could live through it.

I pulled back further and get up. I have to get out of here, hes confusing me making me feel

things Ive never felt before. When Talib says my name it sends shivers through me. The lightestof his touches ignites mini fires which makes my skin flush. My breath catches at the very sight

of him and when hes holding me I never want him to let go.

You okay? Talib asks curiously.

Yes, Im fine I just need to get all this blood off. I tell him, which is partially true. I really do

need to get rid of the blood. It reminds too much of the blood that soaked my parents corpses. A

shiver runs down my backbone at the memory.

Hot water drums into my back. Washing away the sweat and grime of battle but it doesnt wash

away the haunting scenes of my past. I focus on the splash of water letting it soothe my frazzledmind.

Feeling better I step out of the shower and dry myself. I slip into a fresh tunic and trousers beforeleaving the bathroom and go for a walk in the gardens.

I amble down the gravel pathway until I reach the columned pathway with a roof connecting the

buildings on one side of the gardens to the other. The smell of honeysuckle intermingles with the

aroma of lavender and roses drift lazily through the air.

I have never felt so at peace. I didnt think such tranquility existed let alone at the heart of

Tamaracks stolen home. The afternoon sun cast a golden haze on everything. The soft breezecarries the joyful laugh of a little girl to my ears. I cast a searching gaze over the garden as I stop

to lean against a pillar.

I spot the owner of the laugh. A little girl of about three with curly blonde hair bouncing about

her shoulders runs to Jason.

Daddy! she cries joyfully.

Jason erupts into a grin. Ive never seen Jason wear anything except a scowl but his face lightsup at the sight of her. I think a smile suits him better.

Mazhira! Jason enthusiastically greets her before sweeping her into a long bear hug. His laughbooms out as he swings the girl high in the air before setting her gently on the ground.

A hand taps my shoulder. I jump and my head snaps round at the touch.


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Cassidy, you made me jump. I say.

Sorry, she flashes me cheerful smile.

I didnt know Jason had a daughter, wheres his wife? I ask nodding in Jason and Mazhiras

direction.

Dayah died about two years ago. Since then Jasons changed, he used to be such a gentle soulbut when she died something snapped and the only one thats been able to bring back the gentle

side of him is Mazhira. When you showed up he became worse. Although thinking about it nowyou kind of remind me of Dayah. She wouldnt take crap from anyone and you have the same

eyes. Cassidy relayed all this new information with an uncharacteristically serious tone in hervoice, Maybe you remind him of her and hes lashing out at you as hes still hurting over her.

Maybe, I say softly.

Seeing this more serious side of her makes me like her a bit more. I should make more of aneffort to become friends with her. I guess Cassidys not so bad once you get to know her. Alsonow I understand Jason a little better know. We are more alike than I ever realized.

Ill see you later. Ive got to meet Kayleb. Cassidy says after a moment when she sees Im lostin my own thoughts.

I nod absent mindedly to let her know I heard her. Her footsteps rapidly retreat while my full

attention returns to Jason and his daughter.

Mazhira skips to the edge of the path and picks two daisies. She promptly hand one to Jason

before running over to me.

Hello, Im Mazhira. Would you like a flower? she says before thrusting the daisy in front ofher.

I crouch so Im eye level with her Id love a flower,

She carefully stretches out her hand pushes the stem into my hair.

So howd I look? I laugh.

Like my Mama, Daddy said she was beautiful and you look beautiful too, she replies a smileplaying on her lips before giving me a surprise hug.

I stiffen at the contact but relax and hug back. Shes such a sweet little girl its hard not to adore

her.

Get away from her, Jason growl threateningly as he stomps over.


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He protectively picks Mazhira up as soon as she lets go of me.

I know what happened to Dayah, I say gently.

He stiffens as pain passes across his features.

You dont have to carry the pain around anymore. Shed want you to move on and bring up

your little girl. I urge.

You cant know what she would have wanted. You never met her. he replies anger and painsaturating his every word.

No, but Cassidy says I remind her of Dayah. Ive learnt something since last night just because

you move on and let the dead go doesnt mean that you are forgetting them. It just means thatyou are learning to live again. I explain.

But I dont know how, he whispers brokenly.

Mourn her first. You never allowed yourself to mourn her did you? I state.

A single tear trickles slowly down his face.

Daddy dont cry. Youll get to see Mama again. Like you said shes waiting for us in the big

palace in the sky. Shes looking down on us with her angel wings until we join her. Mazhirachirps while wiping away the tear.

Yes sweetheart, Mamas in the sky waiting for us. I just miss her thats all. he smiles to

reassure her.

When youre done let the anger go and youll finally be able to move on. Ive only just startedto learn to do so. I say softly before turning to leave in order to give him some privacy.

Kyra, hes never used my name before, Thank you. You have every reason to hate me for theway I treated you. Im sorry. for the first time around me his face softens with an apologetic

smile forming on his lips.

Its okay, I carry the same pain as you only now am I learning to let it go. I smile to show himits fine before making my way inside.

Chapter 18

Kayleb! I cry joyfully as I fling myself at him.

Kyra! he laughs before wincing slightly.

Oh, sorry. Im just glad youre alright. I say sheepishly and release him from my tight hug.


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You were worrying? You were the one fighting on the frontlines! I was scared youd getyourself killed! he exclaims, relief filling his features.

I told you I wouldnt throw my life away and I always keep my word. I reply seriously.

Youll be okay. Kayleb says softly as concern fills his face.

You know, for the first time I think I will be. Itll just take me some time. I give him a sadsmile, I miss them.

Me too.

I pull him into a comforting hug. Hes always had to be the strong one, sometimes I forget he

misses them the same as me. This time its my turn to be there for him. Kaylebs always been theone that kept me human, stopped me from going over the edge.

Thank you. I whisper in his ear, for keeping me from becoming him.

Theres nothing to thank. Youre my sister, Ill always be here for you but somehow I think Illbe sharing that job with someone. I dont think youre going to need me as much anymore a

cheeky grin forms as he releases me.

Playfully I smack his arm.

Its true, dont deny it! he laughs.

Our serious mood evaporates and we find ourselves joking and laughing. Something I had

always faked but now I find myself genuinely enjoying every second of it.

Chapter 19

Were back in the throne room.

Youre just like me, Tamarack sneers down at me, You didnt kill me, you havent changed.

You will never change! We are the same.

This time I know Talib isnt coming to save me. I dont know how but I know. This time I willbe alone. This I my fight and this time no one is going to stop me.

I charge and once again we fight the same deadly dance as before.

He falters and I am stand opposite with my sword at his throat.

Kill me. You are just like me. he hissed, hatred glinting in his black eyes.

Its like looking in a mirror I see my own eyes in him.


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Tamaracks face morphs until I see myself glaring back.

His voice leaves my lips, We are the same,

I raise my sword to destroy him.

Ill never be like you! I snarl into thin air as my eyes snap open to meet silvery darkness.

A single sob escapes my lips. I run a hand through my disheveled hair in an attempt to calm

myself. I slide out from under the warm covers and walk to the half opened curtains.

The silver moon casts an ethereal glow over the courtyard below, giving everything a dream likequality. The kind of night where wishes come true and faeries come out to play. Maybe even the

kind of night I can find solace in but I dont think tonight will be that night.

I jog out of my room and turn rig

Discovering Freedom

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