Disciplining of Black African Children 1 Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo.

Disciplining of Black Disciplining of Black African ChildrenAfrican Children

1Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

ObjectivesObjectives• To understand the views of some

African parents regarding discipline.• To explore why we should discipline

and not punish our children• To explore some strategies of

disciplining and improving behaviour of our children

• To bring to light the impact of these strategies on our children

2Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Views about disciplineViews about discipline

What are your views about discipline?

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Discipline not PunishDiscipline not PunishEffective discipline begins with a trueunderstanding of the difference betweenpunishment and discipline. Punishment is a negative consequencefor inappropriate behavior. Punishment paints the parent as a harshdictator rather than as a respectedauthority.

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Discipline not PunishDiscipline not Punish

Discipline looks forward to the future• ‘If we as parents discover ways to

teach our children without demeaning them, yelling at them or hitting them, we create space to empower them to learn how to amend an error with penalty but without violence’. (Harriette Cole)

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Discipline not PunishDiscipline not PunishDiscipline deals with bad behavior by teaching the childwhy their behavior is unacceptable while alsoteaching them self-control.  When a parent shows control over their emotions, itteaches the child that they are capable of doing thesame.  Discipline should be positive and emphasize what thechild should do instead of focusing on what theyshouldn’t.  Discipline works best when it is memorable andincorporates a lesson.

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Ways to improve Ways to improve behaviourbehaviour

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Parenting PyramidParenting Pyramid• Where on the pyramid should each of

the following be placed and why?• Discipline• Family rules• Special time • Praise and rewards

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Parenting PyramidParenting Pyramid

Special time

Praise and reward

Family rules

Discipline

Use in abundance

Use selectively

Your child's behaviour

Does a better job than criticism.

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Special TimeSpecial Time• What is special time and why do our

children need it?• How can we as black parents give

our children this?• What good could special time do for

your child?• What will make it hard to give special

time?

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Praise and rewardPraise and reward• Giving praise and encouragement to

our children is vital for their confidence and self esteem.

• Praise does a far better job than criticism and builds confidence and self respect.

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Principles of PraisePrinciples of Praise• Do it immediately• Label the good behaviour• Be consistent• Combine verbal praise with physical

affection• Try and find something daily• Really mean it!!

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Family RulesFamily RulesRules are important and help us know

what is expected of us. It encourages responsibility and respect. Children behave well and feel secure because they know their boundaries.

• Simple rules for the whole family• To be discussed and accepted by

everyone in the family• Do you keep the same rules forever?

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Family AgreementFamily Agreement• Write five rules the whole family will

agree and adhere to• What will you do to get these

established at home?

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DisciplineDiscipline• The soft ‘No’-spoken with authority and

firmly• Give a choice- help children to see there

are good and bad outcomes to how they behave

• Loss of privileges- it has to be something that matters to the child; otherwise it won’t work. This is particularly good with older children.

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DisciplineDiscipline

• Choose 3 situations that apply to your family

• Which strategies could you use?

Hitting another child

Throwing food

Refusing to stop playing Xbox

Not completing homework

Returning home late

Swearing Tantrum in supermarket

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Empowerment Points• Balance warmth and nurture with

firmness and control • Balance giving freedom and

autonomy with restriction and limits.• Positively reinforce all positive

behaviours.• Use reasoning and explanation when

trying to get the child to obey.

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Empowerment Points• Give children alternate options forbehaviours instead of simply saying

“No.”• Employ discipline consistently.

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Impact on childrenImpact on children

• Grow to be responsible and disciplined individuals that will help shape the generation to come.

• Discipline helps to build self-esteem, giving a child the confidence to make better decisions in the future. 

19Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo