Disappointing Messages 1.Should not be direct 2.Should not give the bad news first 3.Can be potentially goodwill-killing.

Disappointing Messages

1.Should not be direct

2.Should not give the bad news first

3.Can be potentially goodwill-killing


4.When giving a satisfactory refusal give good reasons.

A. Show that some of your reasons are beneficial to the other person.

B. Give justifying reasons

C. Do not give excuses

Disappointing MessagesIf you give the refusal first, you will

disappoint and maybe anger the personAn angry person is not a logical personIf you make the psychological mistake of

first saying “NO” and then explaining, the emotional upset from your “NO” will prevent the other person from listening reasonably


Good reasons are dictated by facts, fairness, sound business judgement, or even prior agreement

To be effective, you have to explain some facts, circumstances, or unreasonableness of which the reader is unaware


Start pleasant and positively and give justifying reasons before a refusal, then your logical reasons fall on a logical mind

The reasons which caused you to feel justified in refusing can convince the other person that you are justified. You show the justice of it!


Theme: Explain before Refusing

When you take something away from or deny someone something-

1. You give a reason

2. You give something else to compensate for loss when you can

3. You try to extend some gesture of friendliness


The desired pattern for refusal is:

1.A buffer beginning

2.A review of the facts

3.The refusal itself, subordinated

4.An off-the-subject ending

(sub 3 & 4 with-A counterproposal which implies the refusal.)


The buffer (first paragraph)

1.Begin with something from the situation that both of you can agree on

Two reasons for a buffer:

1.To suggest that they are reasonable persons who can see two sides of the question, and

2.To set the stage for a review of the facts in the case


A good buffer will be:

1.Pleasant, usually agreeing with something the other person has said

2.Relevant, thus quickly showing the subject.

3.Equivocal, avoiding any implication that the answer is yes or no

4.Transitional, carefully worded for a natural movement into the explanation


Six warnings about buffers:

1.Give reasons rather than apologies

2. Never apologize in the beginning

3.Apologies are not substitutes for action or explanation


4.If you give good reasons, you have no cause to apologize

5.Avoid flashy attention getting devices

6.Use the buffer to establish a controlled approach to the topic


We are sorry but we cannot…

We cannot understand why you would think…

Your request for…is totally out of line.

Thank you for writing about…

We appreciate your interest in…

Your request for…caused me to do some thinking.


Do not use these negative phrases:

will not

cannot

are unable to

do not have


Give reasons----------emphasize those reasons which reflect benefits to the reader

Stressing reader benefit is important, but cannot be used every time


Use limiting words like-

only

solely

exclusively

confine to

concentrate on

(With these words no doubt remains)


“I have to refuse your request” or

“I hope you will understand our position”

Both of these are very weak sounding!


Give a positive refusal

Your explanation and reasons justify refusing the turndown

Hope the reader will accept without ill feeling


Make the refusal clear, but not brutally negative. It need not be negative at all

Embed the bad news--give reasons after refusal

Establish the idea of what you are not doing by a statement of what you are doing.


Give the refusal a minimum of space and time

When possible, you may be able to make the refusal clear by implication

Do not stress the refusalLetter ending should be hopeful and

pleasant

Disappointing MessagesEnd your letter with a friendly gestureDemonstrate your desire to retain the

friend/customer relationship

Examples:

Good wishes for the success of the project, suggestion of other sources, suggestion of being helpful in other ways, sending something other than what the reader has requested


Do not use negative phrasing or apologies. Such as: “I regret my inability to do as you asked,” “I am sorry…”


Do not use these false apologetic phrases

1.We humbly regret that…

2.Please forgive the necessity to…

3.We beg your forgiveness for…

4.We are so sorry that…

5.We offer our humblest apologies for having to...

Disappointing Messages 1.Should not be direct 2.Should not give the bad news first 3.Can be potentially goodwill-killing.

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