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Difficult Degrees

Apr 08, 2018

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    A b o u t

    Photo by 4eversupagirl at Photobucket:

    Click on the song here to listen as you read:

    madelinebea o n Etsy

    RECENT POSTSIn Your Absence b y Judith

    Harris : The Poetry

    Foundation poem

    D IFFICULT D EGREESP o e t r y , M e m o i r , E s s a y

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    H o m e

    A b o u t

    C R A F T

    D i f f i c u l t D e g r e e s

    H e a r t . N o M i n d .

    M y W h y

    Search

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    Cigarettes and Coffee, Otis Redding:

    Difficult Degrees

    How strong the wood is

    how heavy the water

    how fire burns you and saves you

    how we can suffocate in space.

    A leaf knows no direction

    and it cycles.

    How I slip across a plank of moods

    how I gaze so far in my small mind

    how I am not this sick body,

    but a cyclea circle, a painted sphere

    in orbit

    given to touchto feelmagnitudes.

    I know no direction.

    The dark, the lighttwo poles of a whole.

    Balance: I pull you too far down

    and then too high, but at such lengths

    I wander beyond myself

    examining the weight

    the burning

    the constancy

    u i [

    Puppet-Maker by Charles

    Simic : Poetry

    Magazine [poem/magazine]

    My Wild Child

    Its In the Little P ieces

    Mike

    CATEGORIESAuthors o n Writing (20)

    Complex PTSD (7)

    Confessional/Survival Poetry

    (3)

    Contemporary Poets (2)

    creative non fiction & memoir

    (30)

    creative writing (26)

    Difficult Degree s (my poe m) (1)

    fiction (4)

    Literature (23)

    lyrical essays (4)

    mental illnesses (26)

    My Poetry (50)

    poetry (22)

    Prose Poetry (4)

    scattered prose (5)

    shorts (6)

    the bloody pencil (11)

    Uncategorized (11)

    AMYS PAGESAbout

    CRAFT

    Difficult Degre es

    Heart. No Min d.

    My Why

    PDFmyURL.com

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    the continent

    of such a life.

    Amy Jo Sprague

    Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak whispers to the oer-fraught heart and

    bids it break.

    Shakespeare, Macbeth

    AlisonT ne at Ets

    kittyroger' s shop at Etsy

    WHERE IM PUBLISHEDPoetry in first issue of Psychic

    Meatloaf

    Issue 3 of Pscyic Meatloa f, April

    2011

    Escarp (micropoetry)

    The Survivor Chronicles

    Rose and Thorn Journal, April

    PDFmyURL.com

    http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://www.roseandthornjournal.com/http://thesurvivorchronicles.org/2011/01/22/vapor/http://www.escarp.org/http://www.psychicmeatloaf.com/http://www.psychicmeatloaf.com/issue1.htm
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    li

    Words are t he physicians of a mind diseased. Aeschylus

    I am a Creative Nonfiction writer and poet, dabbling in creative writing, lyrical essays , and

    memo ir. I dontcensor m yself and I dont fluff and sugar-co at. At times Im brutally honest

    but why lie? Some o f my pieces/blogs revolve aro und the reality of mental illness esthe

    pos itive and negative sides o f PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Dissociation, and

    Depersonaliz ation. These issues I actually use as po ints and truths abo ut a bigger picture

    not perso nal therapy. I also blog poetry, sho rt stories, andfuturenovel excerpts (ideas).I write because it is clos er to me than I am m yself. I write because it is what I know to do

    mo st intimately. I dont know myself until I have written it. Its been beyond a passi on of

    mine, it is all I do and what I am mo stly thinking about. My soul hides on m e in the words

    like this wonderful mystery for me. There is a sto ry revealing itself to me as l ife goes and

    goes , Im waiting for s om ethingwhat I dont know. There is just a sto ry in me, and to no t

    tell itId have no purpose. Im an o lder college s tudent taking a break and, most

    affectionately, I am a mam a. Learning how to garden, cant cook, lo ve the blues. I love o ld,

    rusty, worn and torn things.

    Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you

    especially have t o be hurt like hell bef ore you can write seriously. But when you

    get t he damned hurt use it dont cheat with it. Be as faithful t o it as a scientist

    but dont t hink anything is of any importance because it happens to you or

    anyone belonging to you.

    Ernest Hemingway, to F. Scott Fitzgerald (Select ed Letters)

    LISTEN & READ: 03 Sleepless

    Difficult Degrees is mo stly a

    blog of post-confessional poetry.

    Its an experiment. Its an account

    of the paths Im o n, trying to see

    through the trees and into the

    light. Its an ho nest window into

    myself. Each poem i s a different,

    difficult degreesteps i nto the

    lights and dark Im going through

    or seeing, moods and

    temperatures of mental illnes s

    2011

    Search

    RECENT COMMENTSLuke Prateron My

    Wild Child

    nikki on My Wild Child

    mindlovemisery on Its

    In the Little

    Bluebell Books on

    About

    Andy on Its In th e

    Little

    Ann Grenieron Its In

    the Little

    Wings across waters

    on Its In the Little

    Brendan on Its In th e

    Little

    jenneandrews on Its

    In the Little

    Luke Prateron Its In

    the Little

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    from go ing crazy and developing a suppo rt systemwe need each other. Family and friends

    are true gifts. We are almo st no thing without them.

    Ive spent one year inside

    madness and half a year hiding

    inside mys elf. The only time I

    came out for breath was when I

    needed to write. Thats why this

    blog is also s poradic and moody

    it depends o n where I am. And

    thats ok, this plank of moods,

    thats just the way I am. But

    anyways, yes, I hid for a long

    time. Hid in my hous e, hid in my

    self-s tudies, hid behind my

    weight (thanks m edications), hid

    behind my stigmas . When I

    dropped the stigmas and

    renamed myself I was totally

    empo wered. I define me, no one

    else do es, no DSM can. And thats when I s tarted waking up. I wasnt an exhausted soul

    trapped in a sick body anymore (God Co mplex PTSD was so oo oo rough), I was this light,

    this beam co ming through m y skin. I cant explain it without so unding lame. But my true self

    was s om ething concrete for the first time in my entire life. Id never been whole and sure. It

    was/is exhilerating. I cant wait to mo ve and start up a new life with a new m e. At last, I no

    longer fear change.

    Difficult Degrees (formerly Write Me Up) is my own perso nal noteboo k of scribbles,

    thoughts, fears, truths, passio ns, tragedies, and, more and mo re, my joys. I don t ever plan

    what Im going to write or ho w or when. This is the mo st unorganized, spo radic, impulsiveblog ever made. And som ehow Ive met som e really amazing people because o f it. People

    who, like me, are finding their vo ice, finding their way, and putting their hearts on the plate

    for self-examination, truth, and disco very. Its a great feeling to find o ut that youre not alo ne

    that youre not the only o ne whos e been through certain thingsand the compass ion we

    have for each o ther is purely beautiful.

    Thank you for reading my blo g,

    or even jus t this page. I love to

    "POST -C ONFESSIONAL"POETRY, POETS,

    ARTICLES"Confessional Poetry" Regan

    Good

    "Confessionalography"Rachel

    Zucker-on-"I"-Poetry

    "Edge" Sylvia Plath

    "Father, Son and Wholly Gho st"

    Joel-Dias-Porter

    PDFmyURL.com

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    hear from m y readersabo ut

    their own journeys and

    simi larities and epiphanies. Im

    also open to critique (on matter

    and style, not voice). Yeah, yeah

    this is all also practice for my

    writing. Im o n the verge of

    starting THE BOOK. The story I

    was meant to write is creeping

    clos e to the surface again. Its s o

    difficult to start. Ive tried before,

    but my balance and fo cus was off. Do I m ake it literary fiction? Autobio graphical fiction?

    Memoir? Creative noficiton? Is it all to be a collection of ess ays, a collection of sho rts, or a

    collection o f poetry? Can I do it all? Ho w do I begin? I used to think what my story was was

    a tragedy. Thats bull shit. My story is about lo ve and o ur centers and what it takes to find

    that love. What it takes. The amount o f pain a hum an can suffer and survive is truly a grand

    thing. Sometimes, when Im s ilent and wandering my mind, I thinkhow the hell did I make it

    outa there? And the mere fact that I did so lidifies who I am, and makes m e a little proud o f

    myself. In a year I lost my s anity, my job, mys elf, my house, my friends, my fiance, andmany many m ore things. But honestly? I didnt los eI GAINED EVERYTHING. I am living a

    beautiful life because o f what happened. How the darkness is, in a s ense, also the true

    light, is beyond me. Everything is one, everything is who le. But thats ano ther story.

    This work byAmy Jo Sprague is licensed under a Creative Co mmo ns Attribution 3.0

    Unported License.

    Based on a wo rk at amyjosprague.wordpress.com .

    "Post-Confess. Poetry"-Harriet-

    blog

    "The Very Act of Telling " (Aaron

    Smith on Sharon Olds & Writing

    Narrative Poetry)

    "Vespers" Louise Gluck

    Amy Gerstler

    Anne S exton

    Anthony Hech t

    Charles Wright

    Essay on First Person Usag e in

    Poetry

    Eula Biss: The Balloonists

    James Wright

    Joe Wenderoth

    Nick Flynn: Some Ether

    Olena Kalytiak Davis (article)

    Rachel Zucker: Eating in the

    Underworld

    Robert Lowell's "Skunk Hour"

    Sharon Olds

    Sharon Olds: Advice-to-young-

    poets (audio) 2009

    Yusef Komunya kaa

    *INTERVIEWS--FICTION& NONFICTION

    Aimee Bender (Bookslut)

    Aimee Bend er 2010 (failbe tter)

    Aldou s Huxley 1960

    Amy Hempel 200 3

    Anthony Doe rr (Granta)

    Carlos Fuentes 81'

    Charles Baxter 2010

    Charles D'Ambrosio (Willow-

    Springs)

    PDFmyURL.com

    http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://willowsprings.ewu.edu/interviews/dambrosio.phphttp://thereadonwnc.ning.com/special/interview-with-fiction-writer-1?xg_source=activityhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/3195/the-art-of-fiction-no-68-carlos-fuenteshttp://www.granta.com/Interview-with-Anthony-Doerrhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/227/the-art-of-fiction-no-176-amy-hempelhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4698/the-art-of-fiction-no-24-aldous-huxleyhttp://www.failbetter.com/36/BenderInterview.phphttp://www.bookslut.com/features/2005_09_006523.phphttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/yusef-komunyakaahttp://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/21435http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/sharon-oldshttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=177165http://www.rachelzucker.net/books/eating/http://www.poetryfoundation.org/journal/article.html?id=236626http://www.nickflynn.org/http://www.bostonreview.net/BR26.2/dagata.htmlhttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/james-wrighthttp://www.eulabiss.net/balloonists.htmlhttp://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5888http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/charles-wrighthttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/2487/the-art-of-poetry-no-40-anthony-hechthttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/anne-sextonhttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/amy-gerstlerhttp://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15605http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5892http://www.poetryfoundation.org/harriet/2007/06/post-confessional-poetry/http://amyjosprague.wordpress.com/http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/http://amyjosprague.wordpress.com/http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
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    Ernest Hemingway

    Gabriel Garcia Marquez 81'

    Henry Miller 1962

    Jack Kerouac 1968

    Joan Didion 2006

    John McPhee

    Jorge Luis Borges 1967

    Michael Chabon (NPR)

    Nadine Gordimer 83'

    Nick Flynn (Bookslut)

    Nick Flynn 2010 (smithmag)

    Norman Mailer 1964

    Norman Mailer 2007

    Rick Moody (on Demonology)

    BOMBlive!

    *INTERVIEWS--POETRY

    Allen Ginsberg 1966

    Anne Carson 2009

    Anne Sexton 1971

    Anthony Hech t

    Charles Bernstein 2010

    (BOMB111)

    Charles Simic & Tomaz

    Salamun (BOMBlog)

    Charles Wright 89'

    Czeslaw Milosz 1994

    Donald Hall 1991

    Gary Snyder 1996

    James Tate 200 6

    John Ashbery 83'

    John Berryman 72'

    Mahmoud Darwish: The-

    Butterfly's-Burden

    Marianne Moore 1961

    Mark Strand 98'

    PDFmyURL.com

    http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://pdfmyurl.com/?otsrc=watermark&otclc=0.01http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/1070/the-art-of-poetry-no-77-mark-strandhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4637/the-art-of-poetry-no-4-marianne-moorehttp://www.pen.org/viewmedia.php.prmMID/2784/prmID/1376http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4052/the-art-of-poetry-no-16-john-berrymanhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/3014/the-art-of-poetry-no-33-john-ashberyhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5636/the-art-of-poetry-no-92-james-tatehttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/1323/the-art-of-poetry-no-74-gary-snyderhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/2163/the-art-of-poetry-no-43-donald-hallhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/1721/the-art-of-poetry-no-70-czeslaw-miloszhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/2369/the-art-of-poetry-no-41-charles-wrighthttp://bombsite.com/issues/999/articles/3201http://bombsite.com/issues/111/articles/3454http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/2487/the-art-of-poetry-no-40-anthony-hechthttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4073/the-art-of-poetry-no-15-anne-sextonhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5420/the-art-of-poetry-no-88-anne-carsonhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4389/the-art-of-poetry-no-8-allen-ginsberghttp://bombsite.com/issues/999/articles/3472http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5775/the-art-of-fiction-no-193-norman-mailerhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4503/the-art-of-fiction-no-32-norman-mailerhttp://www.smithmag.net/memoirville/2010/01/16/interview-nick-flynn-author-of-the-ticking-is-the-bomb/http://www.bookslut.com/features/2010_03_015945.phphttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/3060/the-art-of-fiction-no-77-nadine-gordimerhttp://m.npr.org/Story/113544878?storyld=113544878&from=mobilehttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4331/the-art-of-fiction-no-39-jorge-luis-borgeshttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5997/the-art-of-nonfiction-no-3-john-mcpheehttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5601/the-art-of-nonfiction-no-1-joan-didionhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4260/the-art-of-fiction-no-41-jack-kerouachttp://theparisreview.org/interviews/4597/the-art-of-fiction-no-28-henry-millerhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/3196/the-art-of-fiction-no-69-gabriel-garcia-marquezhttp://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4825/the-art-of-fiction-no-21-ernest-hemingway
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    Share this: 5 Share

    on June 19, 2010 at 12:00 am | Reply

    on Janua ry 13, 2011 at 8:49 pm | Reply

    on Janua ry 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm | Reply

    11 Commen ts

    11 Responses

    mary

    Amy, I am so far away from myself. What you s ay here above describes yo u. I

    cant even get close to describing myself. I keep thinking Im o n it. Im better. Ive

    got it figured out, but I cant write a word that means anything. Im go ing to steal

    so me o f the these quotes o n your blogs . They are brilliant and I dont know why I dont

    have them in my o wn cache. I collect great quotes. Health and love to you m y friend.

    xo,

    mary

    SenderUpWords

    I applaud you. I am much the sam e. Love and Light,

    Sender

    Brendan

    Keep the faith, its a ro ad and wo rth writing. I cant remember which poet s aid that

    Nicanor Parra 20 09

    (BOMB106)

    Nick Flynn (Bookslut)

    Nick Flynn at How-a-Poem-

    Happens

    Pablo Neruda 1971

    Robert Bly 2000

    Robert Lowell 1961

    Robert Pinsky 97'

    Stephen Dunn

    Stephen Dunn (EWR)

    Ted Hughes 1995

    W.D. Snod grass 9 4'

    William Carlos Williams 64'

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    Anemone Sidecar*

    Apocryphaltext*

    arsenic lobster

    Asheville P oetry Review

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    Barrow Street

    Big Bridge

    Blackbox Manifold* (narrative-

    poetry)

    blazeVOX

    blossom bones*

    PDFmyURL.com

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    on Janua ry 31, 2011 at 4:58 pm | Reply

    on February 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm | Reply

    on Februa ry 26, 20 11 at 11:27 pm | Reply

    on March 8 , 2011 at 4:25 am | Reply

    on April 22 , 2011 at 10:46 a m | Reply

    Dante got through Hell wrapped in the meters of Virgil meaning, when youre

    going through hell, keep writing. And dont sto p. Lots o f interesting terrain on the

    way, anyway. (Purgatorio is SO much m ore fun than Paradiso .) I did a pos t recently on

    Madness and the Creative, really abo ut the Va. Tech mas sacre, but the essay s uggests

    that madness and creativity are destructive and productive faces o f the so me s ame thing. If

    you care to read: http://tinyurl.com/4mvw5oa . p.s. I think life slo ws us from mania into

    meaning, but it takes years. And meds . And grace.

    Music&Meaning

    there is no birth of consciousness without pain Jung

    RT

    Lisa

    A beautiful page about a beautiful perso n.

    amyjosprague

    Thats s o s weet of you, Lisa

    nikki

    I really love your line (because it really is you!) How the darkness is , in a sense,

    also a true light.

    Luke Prate r

    I can relate to a lo t of this. Thank you for being open, ho nest, and not sugar-

    coating. Tis the stuff of reality, and teh grit of good poetry. To hell with the flowery

    crap

    thank you Amy

    Blue Fifth Review*

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    "The Poet's Trade" Amy-Lowell

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    Xenith

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    Poetry Foundation

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    Bateau

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    Fogged Clarity

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    Free Verse

    Gemini

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    Mud Luscious Press

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    Rose Metal Press

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    wordriot

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    ONLINE WRITINGCOMMUNITIES

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    Deborah Ager

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    Mark Doty

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    Nancy Denofio (poetry)

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    Oliver de la Paz

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    Blog:

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    Topics:creative nonfiction,

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    Contemporary Poets

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    TWITTER

    In Your Absence b y Judith

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