Difficult Conversations --SBI and POP Oakland ISD.pdf

Welcome!!!Please make a name tagFIRST NAME ONLY in LargePrint !

From Rick DuFour….

“We have the greatest generation of educators we’ve ever seen in our

schools right now.”

Professional LEARNING

LEARNING involves a significant change in one’s behavior or thinking

---Intentional Interruptions,

Learning Forward

Today’s Learning

• Welcome and Group Connection

• The Foundation for This Work: Courage and Integrity

• Offering Skillful Feedback: Encouraging and Constructive

• Planning and Holding a Difficult Conversation

• Check-Out / Summary

Count On Me...

● To help form a positive learning environment

● To offer current and relevant information

● To be open to your questions

I’ll Count On You...

● To participate actively---○ emails and texts at breaks,

please● To press for clarity● To transfer your learning to your

own role● To honor confidentiality

Sharing Our Success

Think...then write on your card:

● As you think about this point of the

school year, what are you feeling good

about?

● What are you looking forward to

learning as the year goes forward ?

Protocol: The One Minute Conversation

As your partner shares,

Listen in a way that allows you to paraphrase their thoughts.

Be ready to tell the group what you heard!

The One Minute Conversation: Debrief

• Why did I have you write first, and then talk?

• Why did I mix up the group?

• What happened when you were told to “listen in a way that would allow you to paraphrase what your partner said”?

• Used within a classroom, how does this protocol nurture student engagement?

Learning Maps

Key Ideas To Try

Questions Protocols, Resources, Quotes

Here’s the End Game….

At The End of Today...

• You’ll understand the connection between

relational trust, courage and integrity, and the

need for exemplary leaders to offer skillful

feedback as well as hold difficult conversations

• You’ll have a clear understanding and be able to

utilize the S-B-I template for offering skillful

feedback

• You’ll be able to coach a colleague and write your

own plan for a difficult conversation

Leadership Matters...And it matters more in times of uncertainty...

than it does in times of stability.

Kouzes & Posner

5 Practices of

Exemplary Leaders

Kouzes and Posner

Over three decades of research

Over one million survey responses,

Thousands of interviews,

Members of corporate, medical,non-profit, educational, governmental organizations

Be Thinking...Which Practice Resonates With You?

Model the Way

Coherent leaders “walk the talk”---

They’re active participants in the betterment of their communities

Debbie McFalone, Ph.D.

Coherent Leaders….

Have clarity about what they value, what they believe…

ACT in alignment with those values and guiding principles

19

ACTIONS Beliefs Values

Inspire a Shared Vision

“Inspirational leaders envision the future, and enlist others.

A deeply felt belief, along with commitment and enthusiasm for it brings the vision to life for all of us.”

---Kouzes and Posner

Vision and Excellence

Compliance leads to mediocrity

Commitment leads to excellence!

---Heifetz and Linsky

Challenge the Process

Sergiovanni: “Leadership By Outrage”

“It is the leader’s responsibility to be

outraged,

when empowerment is abused and when

purposes are ignored.”

Challenge the Process

Skillful leaders demonstrate courage and integrity by asking intentionalquestions, and holding difficult conversations.

Mike Mattos…..

“What worked yesterday is

the gilded cage of tomorrow.”

Enable Others To Act

Enable others to act

“When I finally hit a point where I realized if you want to be an effective leader, you shouldn’t be the one doing all the work,

You should be leading and guiding and helping your leaders move your building to the next step….

When I made that paradigm shift, I really became a much better administrator.”

Encourage The Heart

Encourage the Heart

“Leadership is an affair of the heart.” “Leaders who are most effective in generating

results will appeal not only to the bottom line, but also to the heart. In fact, one of the best

strategies for improving results is connecting with people’s deepest, heartfelt hopes.”

--Rick DuFour

Sergiovanni

“The leader must not only

make decisions,

but must

connect those decisions to the heartbeat of the school.”

Encouraging the Heart

Research from the Center for Creative

Leadership:

“….the number one success factor is

relationships with subordinates.”

When I Think of This Practice, I’m Reminded of This Leader In My Life

The Number One Attribute

In every research study done,

one leadership criteria is rated as the most

desired characteristic:

Honesty / Trustworthiness / Credibility

Grounding Our Work

“ Whenever you feel uncomfortable, have second thoughts,or try to avoid saying what you need to say,What you aren’t saying is your hard conversation.” ---Jennifer Abrams

Two Strategies For You….

● “Stacking” Responses

● “What questions do you have?”

Skillful Feedback

S-B-I Feedback: Center for Creative Leadership

Two kinds of feedback:

Encouraging: Behaviors you want to see repeated

Constructive: Behaviors that need to change or stop

S-B-I Feedback Template

S ….Capture the SITUATION

• Be very specific “Yesterday during second hour….”

• The goal: Get the person to focus exactly on the time / place of the incident

B –Describe the BEHAVIOR

• Specific

• Observable• Descriptive, not evaluative

“…..you met each student at the door and called them by name…”

I – Deliver the IMPACT

Make a choice:

An impact on the team?

An impact on students?

An impact on you as the leader?

The IMPACT….….is the powerful piece of your

feedback.

It gives the WHY of your words!

Reteaching S-B-I

Encouraging feedback ---- may be given face to face, or in written form

Constructive feedback---MUST be given face to face

Some Tips For You….

Some Tips For You….When giving feedback,

it’s helpful to go to the other person’s space.

Remember….The IMPACT holds the power of your

S-B-I statement!

WHY

Some Tips For You…

I like the way….

Some Tips For You….When you encounter resistance the first time….

When you encounter resistance, the first thing to do is….

...simply REPEAT THE IMPACT STATEMENT

When a person becomes extremely resistant..

You might say….“ I now have two concerns.

I’m concerned that ( original SBI here), and now I’m also concerned about the manner in which you’ve received my feedback.

I’m not sure what I’ll choose to do about my concerns, and I want to think about that. I’ll be sure to be back in touch within 24 hours to let you know.

Don’t Devalue Your Statement!

“It’s probably just me, but….”

“You probably didn’t mean to, but….”

Applying Your Learning:How is offering frequent feedback to teachers similar to

● their use of formative assessments in their classrooms?

● a “growth mindset” for learning?

What connections do you make?

When We Avoid….

1. Our beliefs and our actions…..

are not in alignment.

When we avoid…

2. We give silent support to others

When we avoid…

3. We cede control to others.

When We Avoid….

4. We experience a high level of tension, stress, anxiety and depression

When We Avoid….

5. Our own trustworthiness can be undermined.

Difficult Conversations

Why Do We Hesitate? Why Do We Hesitate?

The Solution: Acting With Courage and Integrity

● Offering honest, straightforward feedback

● Holding more complex difficult conversations when needed.

P-O-P Strategy for Planning

P = Purpose

Why are you having the conversation?

P-O-P Strategy for Planning

O = Outcome

What do you want the person to know at

the end of the conversation?

What key messages are important?

Verbs are key in outcomes:

Examine, provide, revise, attend, meet

Process for Outcome

Development1. Brainstorm ideas for what the person needs

to know, key messages, etc.

2. Check: Are all the above ideas in alignment

with your purpose?

3. Last, put the ideas in a sequence that makes

sense for the conversation

P-O-P Strategy for Planning

P = Procedures

What will you do to prepare for the

conversation?

Time, place, data or info needed….

Procedures: Sample

Conversation• In your office or conference room, end of the

day

• Mini-observation notes

• Phone logs---parent calls

• Grade comparison

• Behavior referral data

Modeling the Planning:

Notes

What Did Debbie Do? What Did _____ Do?

Planning With A Partner

Your Task: in your Handout

Coach your partner in writing a Purpose,

Outcomes, and Procedure for their

conversation.

Closing

I used to think…

But now I think…..