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Dick Whittington & His Cat
Act 1 Prologue (Fairyland) As the lights come up on Fairyland,
we are greeted to the sight of FAIRY BOWBELLS in her majestic
glory. FAIRY: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and welcome to
Fairyland. Its so exciting, dont you think? Its magical, glittery
and grand. In case you dont already know, my name is Fairy
Bowbells, yes indeed My job is to help tell this glorious tale and
move it along with speed. In old London Town, theres a young boy
named Dick Whittington Hes searching the streets paved with gold
Hes a brave boy, courageous and very bold. But alas, our young Dick
will have no luck The streets arent paved with gold for thats just
a myth It does indeed suck, doesnt it, boys and girls? (Audience
response) However, if our hero manages to end up In the right place
at the right time He shall be alright and become Lord Mayor with
the clocks chime.
Now, I cant stand here all day, wittering on at you Theres far
too much to be done. So off well go to London Town with the dawn
and the rising sun. The lights fade into London Town.
Scene One (London Town) As the lights rise on London Town, we
see the VILLAGERS and ALDERMAN FITZWARREN, who is looking very
splendid.
MUSICQ2: BRING ME SUNSHINE INTRO ALDERMAN: Roll up, roll up,
ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to good old London
Town where I, the one, the only, Alderman Fitzwarren am willing
to grant the citizens of my humble town a fifty percent reduction
in my store for one day and one day only. So pop on by Fitzwarrens
Fantasy Store and see what delights await before your very
eyes.
ALICE FITZWARREN enters.
MUSICQ1: OVERTURE/INTRO
MUSICQ2: BRING ME SUNSHINE INTRO
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ALICE: Father, youre looking very jovial today. I havent seen
you this happy since that wicked King Rat vanished from the
land.
ALDERMAN: Life is becoming perfect once more, my dear. I have my
dream job, my own store and a beautiful daughter. What more could I
wish for?
MUSICQ3: BRING ME SUNSHINE ALDERMAN: BRING ME SUNSHINE IN YOUR
SMILE
BRING ME LAUGHTER ALL THE WHILE, IN THIS WORLD WHERE WE LIVE
THERE SHOULD BE MORE HAPPINESS SO MUCH JOY YOU CAN GIVE TO EACH
BRAND NEW BRIGHT TOMORROW.
ALL: MAKE ME HAPPY THROUGH THE YEARS,
NEVER BRING ME ANY TEARS LET YOUR ARMS BE AS WARM AS THE SUN
FROM UP ABOVE BRING ME FUN, BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE. BRING
ME SUNSHINE IN YOUR EYES BRING ME RAINBOWS FROM THE SKIES LIFES TOO
SHORT TO BE SPENT HAVING ANYTHING BUT FUN WE CAN BE SO CONTENT IF
WE GATHER LITTLE SUNBEAMS. BE LIGHT-HEARTED ALL DAY LONG, KEEP ON
SINGING HAPPY SONGS LET YOUR ARMS BE AS WARM AS THE SUN FROM UP
ABOVE BRING ME FUN, BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE BRING ME FUN,
BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE!
After the merry dance, the VILLAGERS return to their business
and ALDERMAN and ALICE continue. ALDERMAN: Wholl be first to step
into Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store? ALICE: I will father. ALDERMAN: My
dear, you already live there. ALICE: Oh, well, Im sure we can find
somebody wholl come and look at a nice bargain. ALDERMAN: I wonder
who MUSICQ4: DAME SARAH SPONGES ENTRANCE SARAH enters in
spectacular dame fashion, in an extremely overlarge frock. DAME:
Hello mums and dads, boys and girls. (Audience response) Come
on,
Im sure you all can do much better than that. Hello mums and
dads, boys and girls. (Audience response) I tell you what, lets
shake it up a bit. Hello boys and girls. (Audience response)
Fantastic, right up there with the best of them. Now for the
grown-ups. Hello mums and dads. (Audience response) Oh dear, you
are sounding very repressed
MUSICQ3: BRING ME SUNSHINE
MUSICQ4: DAME SARAH SPONGES ENTRANCE
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tonight. But never mind, onwards and upwards. My name is Sarah
Sponge, middle name: Victoria! I work in Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store
baking all the delicious treats youll find there. Im the Mary Berry
of panto-land!
ALDERMAN: Ive sampled many of her delights. DAME: Of course you
have, you cheeky thing! ALDERMAN: Now Alice, could you please go
and fetch me my accounts? ALICE: Yes father, certainly. (She exits)
ALDERMAN: Now Sarah, we need to have serious words. DAME: Oh lord.
ALDERMAN: Its about Jack. I feel lately that hes starting to become
complacent. DAME: Well the clue is in the name Alderman. ALDERMAN:
What do you mean? DAME: He is called Idle Jack, sir. Idle. Idle
Jack. IDLE JACK bounds on thinking hes been called. IDLE JACK: Who
called for me? DAME: Nobody dear. We were talking about you
instead. IDLE JACK: Oh thats really nice isnt it? Talking about
somebody behind their back.
I have feelings, you know. DAME: Ooo, feelings for me? IDLE
JACK: Sorry to disappoint you Sarah but not those type of feelings.
DAME: Rejected! ALDERMAN: If we could get back down to business.
Jack, whats going on lately?
Hardly any of the store jobs are getting done. IDLE JACK: Well,
you see, the thing is Im always so tired. ALDERMAN: You do realise
that if you dont buck up your ideas, youll be out. IDLE JACK: I
understand Alderman. Ill try my best. ALDERMAN: Very well my boy. I
best be off and see whats taking Alice so long with
my accounts. (He exits) IDLE JACK: Sarah, theres something Ive
been meaning to tell you. DAME: Righto. IDLE JACK: Well, Ive been
wondering whether I should get myself a new job. DAME: Righto. IDLE
JACK: So I was thinking I might put in an application for Tesco.
DAME: Righto. IDLE JACK: Sarah, why do you keep saying righto?
DAME: Because youre stood on my right toe. IDLE JACK: Oh, sorry
Sarah. DAME: You will be if youre not careful. Now, have you done
your chores? IDLE JACK: What chores? DAME: Oh deary me. Jack, you
were supposed to hoover the store as well as
ensuring that the bins are put out. Its collection day. IDLE
JACK: Well, do you want the true answer or the false answer? DAME:
(To audience) He really is silly at times. (To Jack) I want the
false
answer. IDLE JACK: Really? DAME: No you fool! Of course I want
the truth. IDLE JACK: Well, I just couldnt really be bothered.
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DAME: Its a good job your names Idle. DICK WHITTINGTON enters.
DAME: Oh look, a newcomer to the town! (Approaches DICK) Hello
there
handsome. DICK: Oh hello. Im Dick. DAME: Youre a what? DICK: No,
my dear lady, my name is Dick Whittington and Ive come to
London as Ive heard the streets are paved with gold. Ive come to
get my fortune.
DAME: Im sorry, my lad, but the streets arent paved with gold.
Its just a wise old tale.
DICK: So Ive come all this way for nothing? DAME: Im afraid so.
The CAT enters, skulking around followed by ALDERMAN and ALICE.
ALDERMAN is chasing the cat. ALDERMAN: Whats this cat doing here?
Get away, vermin! ALICE: Father, its only a cat. Its not vermin.
More like the rats! ALDERMAN: Ah but I still dont like it sniffing
around my store. It could do any
manner of things. DAME: All youve got to do is treat it kindly
and itll treat you kindly back. ALDERMAN: Whos this boy whos just
strolled in? DICK: Im Dick Whittington. Nice to meet you sir.
ALDERMAN: Very good my boy. Now, does anybody know what can be done
about
this cat? IDLE JACK: Maybe its lost and cant find its way home.
It makes me feel ever so
sad. DAME: Pull yourself together. ALICE: I reckon we need to
find out who the cat is. DICK: (Approaching the cat) Hello. CAT:
Meow. DAME: Whats that supposed to mean? I dont speak Cat-anese.
DICK: Whats your name? CAT: Meow. Meow. DICK: Barry? CAT: Meow.
Meow. DAME: Mildred? CAT: Meow. Meow. IDLE JACK: Spartacus? CAT:
Meow. Meow. ALDERMAN: Polly? CAT: Meow. Meow. ALICE: Its a name
similar to Polly. Shake the head for male, nod for female. CAT:
(Shakes his head) ALICE: A male cat. How about Terry? CAT: Meow.
Meow. ALDERMAN: Were getting closer.
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DICK: Tommy? CAT: Meow. Meow. DICK: His names Tommy. Tommy the
cat. DAME: Well, we got there in the end! DICK: And I think Tommys
lost. Look at him! Very thin and frail. CAT: Meow. Meow. DICK:
There must be something we can do. IDLE JACK: Why dont we feed
Tommy up inside and then we can send him on his
way? DAME: An excellent idea. Ill give you that one Jack. Top
form! ALDERMAN: Whats news with you Dick? What lies ahead for you?
DICK: I cant head home now. Ive come so far. I guess Ill have to
find
somewhere to stay for tonight. I best head off before it gets
dark. ALICE: Wait! Im sure Dick can stay with us here at the store?
What do you
say, father? ALDERMAN: Ill think about it. ALICE: Oh please
father. Go on. It cant do any harm, surely? ALDERMAN: Very well.
Dick, you may stay at the store however youll have to find a
place to rest your head. On one of the counters or something.
Also, Im looking for an apprentice. I think youd be perfect for the
job, Dick.
DICK: Are you sure Alderman? ALDERMAN: Indeed else I wouldnt
have suggested it. DICK: Very well, Ill take it! Theres a flash and
KING RAT appears surrounded by his villainous rat gang. KING RAT:
Bow and grovel, bow and grovel. I said bow and grovel! DAME: Excuse
me, King Rat, I thought youd disappeared from the land. Or
should I say, banished. KING RAT: Did you really think youd keep
me away for this long? Your simple
feeble minds arent a match for I, King Rat, am the greatest of
them all. DICK: Whos King Rat? ALDERMAN: The most evil rat this
side of London. Always threatening to devour the
inhabitants of the town as well as ensuring that both him and
his rat gang overthrow London Town and take control of the
population.
KING RAT: And how easy it shall be. Not before very long, I
shall take control and become Lord Mayor of London and all peasants
will be in my power.
DAME: Id rather die than be under your control King Rat. ALICE:
Youre a wicked rat who deserves punishment for the terrible
things
youve put upon our land. KING RAT: Oh boo hoo! Whilst you think,
by shouting at me, that youll get your
own way, I can safely say you wont, not while Im around. DICK:
Then well just have to get rid of you wont we? One way or another.
KING RAT: Is that a threat, young boy? If youre feeling so brave as
to take me on
then tell me your name. DICK: Im Dick Whittington. I came to
London to seek my fortune. Id heard
the streets were paved with gold but found that to be untrue.
However, Im going to be sticking around for a little while longer
and I shant let you terrorise these poor people.
KING RAT: Oh yeah? And who exactly is going to defeat us?
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DICK: Tommy! Chase after them. MUSICQ5: RAT CHASE There is a rat
chase as TOMMY chases KING RAT and his gang. The others watch in
amazement at the scene unfolding before them. KING RAT: Quick, my
lovely rats, scarper! KING RAT and his rat gang disappear rather
quickly. TOMMY bounces back onto stage with a hearty meow. DICK:
Well done Tommy. DAME: Youve certainly done us proud. ALDERMAN:
What an extraordinary cat to chase off all those nasty
creatures!
Tommy can definitely say with us here at the store for as long
as he needs to. Now I best be heading off, theres lots to be done
today to ensure all goes swell. Tommy, if you follow me I can give
you a good feed. Tata my peeps!
ALDERMAN exits followed by TOMMY bounding along behind him.
DAME: Well I guess I should make a start with some baking. ALICE:
Oh Sarah, what are you going to be baking today? DAME: My original
Victoria Sponge, my dear. After all, Im named after it. I
should have known Id grow to be a lover of cakes. IDLE JACK: And
I can tell you enjoy eating them as well. DAME: You watch it, Jack.
Youre going the right way for a smacked bottom.
As for that remark, you can come and be my assistant for the
day. Right, Ill see you all later.
SARAH and JACK exit leaving DICK and ALICE by themselves. ALICE:
So, Dick, how are you finding London? DICK: Its not a bad place.
Not bad at all. However, if Im being honest, I was
hoping for it to be a bit more exciting. ALICE: Dont worry Dick.
With Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store opening today, Im
sure London is going to be bustling with both people and
activities. There was something I wanted to tell you as a matter of
fact.
DICK: Certainly Alice. ALICE: I dont know its like theres this
strange connection between us as if
weve known each other all our lives, but we cant have done for
weve only just met. I felt it when I first laid eyes on you.
DICK: Thats weird Alice. Ive got the same feeling. ALICE: I
think this could be the start of something very special. MUSICQ:
SOMETHING I NEED DICK: I HAD A DREAM THE OTHER NIGHT
ABOUT HOW WE ONLY GET ONE LIFE
MUSICQ5: RAT CHASE
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WOKE ME UP RIGHT AFTER TWO STAYED AWAKE AND STARED AT YOU SO I
WOULDN'T LOSE MY MIND AND I HAD THE WEEK THAT CAME FROM HELL AND
YES I KNOW THAT YOU COULD TELL BUT YOU'RE LIKE THE NET UNDER THE
LEDGE WHEN I GO FLYING OFF THE EDGE YOU GO FLYING OFF AS WELL AND
IF YOU ONLY DIE ONCE I WANNA DIE WITH YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED IN
THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME AND IF WE ONLY DIE
ONCE, (HEY) I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU, YOU) YOU GOT SOMETHING
I NEED IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME AND IF
WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY) I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU)
ALICE: LAST NIGHT I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH, YEAH
CALL IT OUR TEMPORARY CRUTCH, HEY WITH BROKEN WORDS I'VE TRIED
TO SAY HONEY DON'T YOU BE AFRAID IF WE GOT NOTHING WE GOT US (YEAH)
AND IF YOU ONLY DIE ONCE I WANNA DIE WITH YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED
IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME AND IF WE ONLY
DIE ONCE, (HEY) I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU, YOU) YOU GOT
SOMETHING I NEED IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING
ME AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY) I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU,
YOU)
BOTH: AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY) I WANNA DIE WITH YOU! The
lights fade down on DICK and ALICE as they share a loving hug.