December Part 1

8/8/2019 December Part 1

1/33

The sun breached the clouds as I approached the building.The sudden heat on my back relaxed my shoulders and erasedthe icy chill that lingered in the air from the past season. I tookone backward glance, noticing the blooming dogwoods andflowers that were waking up in the morning sun. I pulled open

the door and walked into my kitchen, placing the mail and themorning paper on the counter. The quiet house started to wakeup as I started the coffee machine and walked to the hallway tostart a load of laundry. It was going to take some time to getused to being on my own. I turned 19 and decided it was timethat I move out and get my own apartment. I walked back to thekitchen to read the mail. I picked up the first envelope addressedto December Dawson. That's me... I thought. The return addresspulled at my heartstrings. It was my mom and dad's address. Ipulled open the envelope, and slipped the letter out. I smiled atmy mom's handwriting. She wrote to ask me how I was, what

had happened since I'd moved out, and then it changed to mydad's handwriting. 'Baby girl,' he wrote, 'you can't imagine howbad I miss you. I love you so much. How is it going? How's yourjob? I've got so many questions for you. Your mother misses youterribly. She cried the first night you moved out. Have you metany guys? I know it's not something you want to tell your fatherbut I can't help but asking,' I looked down at the silver ring thatglinted in the light shining in from the windows. It was my purityring that I had gotten when I was only thirteen.

A tear ran down my face as I read the rest of the note. I

pulled out a piece of paper from a drawer in the kitchen, andstarted writing. 'Mom and Dad,' it began, 'my job is good. Itsupports me. Everything is good. I've been trying to learn how tocook. Ha, that's not really my greatest talent. Don't worry Mom, Icried when I moved out too. Actually, I've probably cried everynight since. No, Dad, I've not met any guys. Daddy I trust you. Icould tell you anything.' I kept writing until I couldn't think ofanything else to say. I put the letter into an envelope. I put it inthe mailbox for the mailman to pick up tomorrow. I walked backinside with a smile on face. I sat at my computer and stared atthe screen for a few minutes, unsure as what to do. I finally got

up and snatched my car keys off of the rack on the wall. I walkedout the door and down the steps to my big red Jeep GrandCherokee. I jumped in and started it up. I didn't know where Iwas going to go, but I just knew I had to get out. I threw it intoreverse and backed out of the apartment parking lot. I drove outas fast as I could and got on the road. Then I remembered I hadwork in a few hours. Maybe I could get some overtime? I workedat the Starbucks next to our church. I loved working there. I


2/33

loved working with people, so I thought that it would be good forme. You know, run the register, talk to people daily. I glanceddown at my hands on the steering wheel. They were clutching sotight that my knuckles were white. I took a deep breath andreleased my death grip on the steering wheel. I eased off the gas

some, and took a leisurely pace.

I pulled in at the Starbucks, and greeted my co-workers.Didnt expect you in so early December, My best friend Macksaid. I looked at him and the looked down. I needed to get outof the apartment. It was getting a little depressing." He laughed.Yeah I remember when I first moved out. I would just stand inthe living room and stare at the walls. I laughed at hisstatement. Well what would you have me do? I had nothing elseto do. I was so used to being at my parents house that I didntknow what to do with myself. I nodded. Its the same way at

my place. I have nothing to do so I came to work early. Now youknow I was desperate that I came to work early! Now it was histurn to laugh. His brown eyes sparkled. Mack had been my bestfriend since my fifth birthday when his mom dragged him to myparty. Our parents had been friends a while and they wanted usto meet.. He was a little taller than me, about 5 feet and 11inches. I was probably three inches shorter than him. He was fairskinned, and had dark brown hair. His hair was short, and allbrushed forward from the crown of his head and came about tothe top of his eyes. The back came to the middle of his neck. Hehad a short, but sharp nose, and a wide smile. Mack loved the

piano. He looked like a scene person, maybe into electric guitaror drums, but his heart remained in piano. He liked listening torock music, like metal. He sometimes listened to indie or maybeelectronic, but mostly only rock. His favorite color is deepmetallic red.

I put my Apple laptop down on the table closest to thecounter and then grabbed an apron. I slipped it over my headand then pulled my blonde hair up into a tight ponytail. My brightblue eyes shined as I looked at him. He was smiling at me.What? I asked. I continued smiling at him. Nothing, he said.

Then he turned back to the customer at the counter. I walkedover to him and pushed his arm. Creep I said jokingly. Whathappened back here? I shouted. Chocolate sauce was drippingdown the wall and all over the floor. Oh yeah, you shouldprobably know, the chocolate bottle exploded, He said as heducked his head. Mackenzie Durham! I yelled his name. Heturned to me head ducked and shoulders slouched. Ill get righton it, he said with a sad tone. You bet you will! And when the


3/33

manager gets back, you better take responsibility. This is not myfault and I will not take blame. He nodded again. I laughed athis pitiful look. Dont give me that. You did this. He glaredplayfully at me as he passed me. I took the next customersorder and got to work on the drinks as Mack cleaned up the

chocolaty mess.The woman at the counter looked at me, with one eyebrowraised. She looked from Mack, to me, and then back to Mack.

I took her order and then leaned down to Mack to help him.He gave me a cheesy smile as I grabbed a wet rag and startedwiping the chocolate off the floor. Dont even. Im only doingthis because it needs to get done. He poked his bottom lip out. Ilooked at him, then back at the floor, then back at him. Alright,Im not mad at you. Im mad that you left this here instead of

cleaning it up immediately, but I forgive you. He got up onto hisknees and held out his arms for a hug. I looked at him doubtfully.Oh come on. Its just a hug, he said. Okay fine, I said. Hehugged me, and then the door opened. Lisa Mills, the manager,walked in. Oh crap I said. Huh? Mack said as he turned tolook. UmClean! He whispered. I nodded. We both began towipe the floors as fast as we could. All of a sudden her shinyblack leather shoes were in front of me. I looked up to see herintense face looking down at me, and her hands on her hips.What happened here? She asked. Mack opened his mouth tospeak, but I spoke first. I dropped a chocolate bottle and the top

popped off and it went everywhere. Mack was kind enough tohelp me. He looked at me, with shock on his face. Then it turnedto understanding, and then to gratitude. I nodded to him as if tosay, your welcome.

Lisa looked down at me. Then she turned her eyes to Mack.Mackenzie, stand up, and go work the register. Her focusswitched to me again. As for you December, you finish cleaningthis up. I want to be spotless in here. She turned and walkedback to go inspect the cleanliness of the machines. My shoulderssloped. Why did you take blame? Mack asked me. His

eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. Because I knew that thiswould happen to you if I didnt. And I didnt want that to happen.Youre my best friend Mack. He gave me another hug. Thankyou December, he whispered in my ear. My heart stuttered forsome strange reason. Y... yeah, no problem, I said. He got upand walked back to the register. I continued to clean, baffled bymy hearts reaction to Mack being close to me. I shook my head.Okay then I thought. I continued cleaning up the chocolate


4/33

spatter that coated the wall and floor. It was around fifteenminutes before I was done cleaning up the chocolate. I stood tomy feet and stretched. Im done with the cleaning now, Lisa, Isaid. Alright, go help Mack with the drinks then, She calledfrom the back. Ugh! I whispered. Mack chuckled at my

reaction. I am so done with her! I whispered. I think we allare, He said in a low voice. Mack always got my problems. Hecould always relate. I looked at him thoughtfully. Now whos thecreep? He joked. You are, I said. Oh! He laughed.

We stayed at work for a few more hours until we got off.Mack got off a few hours before me, but he stayed and waited forme until I got off. We both walked out and got into my Jeep. Mackwas going to come back later and get his car. We pulled into thechurch parking lot next door to the Starbucks. I stopped in frontof the church and stared at it. Whats up? Mack asked. I looked

at him and shook my head. Nothings wrong. Lets go in, I said.We both got out and walked towards the building. We werehaving a service tonight and we wanted to hang out in thechurch for a while before the service. We didnt get much timelately to just hang out together with no distractions. We walkedinto the church, and were greeted by a friend. I looked at Mack,then back our friend, Josie. Hey, Mack and I were kind of hopingto have a little time to ourselves. We dont really get to hang outjust the two of us anymore Its nothing against you its justwe dont really get that anymore. Can we catch you later? Shelooked at me, then Mack, then me again. A smile formed across

her face. Sure you can. Ill catch you later? I nodded to her,and then she turned and bounced off. Alone time? I heardMacks voice beside me. Not like that, you creep! I shouted in awhisper at him. A smile stretched across his face. She seemedto think it was like that! He pointed at Josie. Did you see thesuggestive smile on her face?

He laughed as I pulled him down the long hallway, the eastwall made completely of glass, peering out past the courtyardand into the parking lot. I looked into the courtyard, the sunlowering into the sky, giving us a last farewell as it slipped below

the horizon. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mack lookingat me, a small smile on his face. Again, my heart stuttered alittle. I looked at him. His eyes refocused themselves on thesunset. Beautiful, is all he said. I smiled at him. Then I lookedback at the amber sunset. Yeah, it is, I whispered. Just then,another of our friends came walking down the hallway. Hi,December. Hey, Mack, the teenage boy said as I looked at him.It was Macks brother, Kyle. Kyle was just a little younger than


5/33

me. He was 17 years old. Mack rolled his eyes as his little brotherapproached us. I could hear the music blaring from his ear budsas he got closer. August Burns Red, his favorite band. I gave hima small smile when he reached us. Kyle looked incredibly likeMack. He had the same nose, only his was a little less sharp. His

eyes were different; they were more of a light blue, somewhatgreenish. His hair was lighter and shorter, but in the same styleof Macks. Kyles eyes were also larger than Macks. The mouthwas the same though, and they had the same smile.

Mack looked at Kyle skeptically. Can you please take thoseout? I would like for you to be able to hear me. Kyle continuedsmiling, but somewhat had a clueless look on his face. What?He asked. Mack huffed and yanked the ear buds out of Kylesears. I said; can you take those out? Kyle glared at Mack. Igiggled at the boyish fight between them. They were so, I am

man, hear me roar. Alright you two, calm down. I dont want tosee any more fighting between you guys. I was the one keepingKyle alive. Otherwise, Mack would have beaten him to death bynow. I gave Kyle a hug. Its nice to see you Kyle, I said to himafter I hugged him. He was a good kid. Hey, Mack, do you knowwhere I left my guitar picks? I cant seem to find them. Oh yeah.Kyle also plays the electric guitar. Um Theyre probably atMom and Dads, if not in your pockets. Did you check the gigbag? Kyle dug through his pockets. Then he looked up at Mack."Im going to check the bag. Mack nodded at him. He then ranfor the main auditorium to check his guitar case. I looked back at

Mack and smiled. Whats up? He asked. I shook my head.Nothing, I said. He smiled back at me. A few minutes later andKyle came bouncing down the hallway with his pick raised high inthe air. I found it! He shouted at us. Good job. Would you likeyour cookie now, or after the service? Mack asked Kyle with asarcastic tone. Kyle stuck his tongue out at Mack. Speaking ofthe service we probably should head over to the worship center,I said. Kyle nodded and turned to go back. Mack put his armaround my shoulders and led me back.

The warm water running down my face clashed with the icy

chill that surrounded the rest of my body. I jerked upright in mybed.Just a dream I thought. The reality hit me hard. The tearscame faster as I dragged my blanket over my body. A sob brokefrom my throat, and only encouraged the tears. My pillow waswet from where I was laying before. It was the middle ofDecember, close to my 20th birthday. I curled up in my bed, andhugged my big brown teddy bear. He smelled like Mack...Another wave of tears came on, along with more sobs. Ugh! He


6/33

was such an idiot! Why'd he have to go? He could've stayed herewith me! I loved him! Little more sobs, and some more tears. Ihugged the bear tighter. My eyes got heavy, though the tearspersisted. They closed, and still more tears came. Soon I wasalmost asleep again. Hopefully I could just fall asleep and dream

of him forever. The time that I had with him; I could just dream itover and over and never forget what it felt like to hug him. Iwould never forget the smell of his hair, or the warmth of himwhen he pressed my head to his chest when he hugged me. Iwould never forget the sound of his voice when he was happy tosee me. I drifted off into sleep after a few more sobs.

After the service, we went outside and to my car. I scootedup onto the broad hood. I patted the space beside me, smiling atMack. He smiled back and jumped up onto the hood beside me.Its so nice to finally be alone, Mack said staring off into the

burning sunset on the horizon. The sun reflected in his eyes andbrought out the lighter rings of brown around his pupils. He thenturned his eyes on me. My heart stuttered again when we lockedeyes. A long chill crawled down my back. I could only smile athim. Why are you so tense? He asked. He rubbed my shoulder.You acting weird. Is there something you want to talk about? Ilooked down and shook my head. No. Nothing, I said, stillstaring at my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lookdown. His hair covered his left eye, but I could see theanticipation in his right. Theres something I want to talk aboutthough, He whispered. I looked over at him. He looked at me,

and opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing. He then closedit and studied my face. Whats with those poodles? He said.Mackenzie! I know that cant possibly be what you wanted totalk about. He chuckled and then looked down. Yeah, I knowHe looked back at me. I love you December. I love you.

I couldnt help but let my mouth hang open. I could tell fromthe sound of his voice that he didnt mean it like he usuallymeant it, in the way that I was his best friend. This time it wasreal. I I love you too, I said in a small voice. I looked at himout of the corner of my eye. His eyes were even brighter than

when the sun was reflecting in them. The sun was going downand I couldnt see his face that well. Um I think we should gonow. Its getting dark, I said quietly. He nodded. We got into myjeep and I turned the key, but his hand covered mine before theengine turned. "What's on your mind, December?" He asked me.He could see right through me. "I... I just wasn't expecting you tosay that," I said quietly. "Are you upset that I did?" I locked eyeswith him, shock clearly written on my face. "No! Why would I be


7/33

upset?" He shrugged. "I don't know. You just seemed upset." Iturned the key again, and this time he let me. The engine turned."Do you want Taco Bell?" I asked. "Yes!" I laughed at hisreaction. When we came back with the food, we brought it intothe lobby at our church. We ate there, and then headed for the

youth worship center.

We loved to just sit in there and hang out. It was so peacefuland so quiet in there. We would sit in there for hours before theservice. We would watch the band practice; just sitting there inthe dark, listening to the music. We brought our drinks in and satdown on the floor in between the first row of seats and the stage.Jesse, one of the singers, was already up on the stage andgetting his guitar out of its case. The rest of the band, who werealways in a group, came in to the room; all of them werelaughing. I somewhat resented them for that. They didnt really

let anyone else in unless you were in the band. They were allbeing led by the most annoying girl in the entire church. Bella,who was the pastors eldest, had long blonde hair, and blue eyes.She was beautiful, and she knew it. She had the most annoyinglaugh, but she didnt know that. She wanted everyone to like her,and if you didnt, then she needed a reasonable excuse for whynot. My face twisted into a scowl when I saw her. Mack laughedand pushed my arm teasingly. Oh come on, he said. Justignore her unless she speaks directly to you. I looked at him andraised an eyebrow. And then I can tear her apart verbally? Helaughed again. He had the most amazing laugh. No; then you

can reply politely and go back to ignoring her.

Afterwards, we cleaned everything up and took our usualseats to watch the band practice. I glanced over at Mack. He waswatching the band. The stage lights were reflecting in hismesmerizing brown eyes. I stared at him for a second beforerefocusing my attention on the stage. I saw him glance at me outof the corner of my eye and then smile. My heart fluttered. Hereached down and took my hand. I felt my face heat up. I smiledand looked at my knees. I had been noticing Bella try to flirt withMack recently and failed miserably. She saw us holding hands

and her face fell. I only could smile with an evil gleam in my eyesat her. I snuggled closer to Mack; I could feel his heart beatingfaster. I started laughing, and Mack looked down at me. Heraised an eyebrow. Great, now Im dating a psychopath. Istopped abruptly. That was the first time Id heard him imply thatwe were dating. What, he asked. Its just; I hadnt heard youmention that were dating, I replied. His face fell. Are we notdating? No, we are. I mean, if you want to, I trailed off. He


8/33

nodded silently at me. Okay, then we are dating, I smiled.Okay, but I was talking about why were you laughing, he said.Oh, I felt stupid. I was laughing because I was thinking aboutwhen we were little and whenever our moms would talk aboutus dating in the future we would gag, I reminisced. Mack

laughed with me as we talked about old times.

When the band was done practicing, we went to walk aroundthe church. All of our friends were elated that we, quote, finallygot together. Apparently, they had seen it coming for yearsnow. All of my girl friends kept noting that I had a sparkle in myeyes. Mack would just stand there holding my hand. It felt sonatural to have my hand in his. It felt natural to be near him. Iguess they were right about seeing it coming. I almost saw itcoming myself, and still it was such a shock when he told me heloved me. I was so happy now, and after a while of being sad and

down about leaving my parents house, if felt good to finally behappy. And that happiness came from Mack. He had always beenmy personal sun, and I was always in a good mood around him.Mack and I dating wouldnt really change anything, because wealready spent every waking minute together, but I guess thingswould be a little more romantic. My heart fluttered when Ithought about it. The thing was, even though we were dating,Mack still hadnt kissed me. He hadnt even hinted that hewanted to. He had only hugged me, and kissed my head. And ofcourse, he would hold my hand. It saddened me when I thoughtabout him not wanting to kiss me, because I so wanted to kiss

him.

As if on cue, Mack took me outside. We stood there for aminute, saying nothing, just standing there, with our backsagainst the wall and him holding my hand. But then he moved infront of me. As Ive said before, I love you December, he said,staring into my eyes. I could only nod. Are you going to kissme? I asked. I felt stupid as soon as I said it. He laughed. Doyou want me to? I nodded again. Okay, then I will. He movedhis face closer to mine, and put his hand behind my neck. Imoved my hands into his hair. My heart was racing. His lips

touched mine and everything felt right. Even though Id knownhim as a best friend since I was five, and even though Idshuddered at the thought of kissing him up until last week,kissing him made everything go away, and I was lost in themoment. His other hand moved to the small of my back, and myhands moved down to his face. He pushed me against the wall,and kissed me more passionately. He pulled away, and both ofus were breathing hard. I chuckled. Okay then, he said.


9/33

Chapter 2

We went inside and took our places at the stage. During thesongs, all of the youth would stand at the three foot, carpeted

stage. After the first song, two youth leaders came out onto thestage, and gave us a few announcements, and then gave thestage back to the band for a few more songs. After that, we allmoved back to our seats, and the youth pastor would come andgive us the message. Our youth leader was hilarious. Heconnected with the youth and really delivered the message in away that we could totally relate. I was going to miss this youthgroup when we graduated, but I would come back and volunteeras a leader. I loved working with the sixth graders. They had justcome into middle school, and as my youth pastor put it, it was akey time in their lives to really have God come in. And I wanted

to be a part of that key time. Mack also liked working with them,and so we could work with them together. I had it all worked outin my head. Id even talked to him about it before; before wewere dating that is. But Mack had also talked about joining themilitary. I shuddered at the thought of him being shot at. Myheart sank.

Again, the warm tears run down my face and I wake up frommy reverie. More sobs break as I think of how hed left. I couldhave stopped him. I could have begged him. But I had to be soeasy with it. I just wanted him to be happy. What about if I

wanted to be happy? And I could only be happy with him! Andnow hes gone. And few more sobs, and a lot more tears. Iremember him getting on the bus, dressed in uniform, carryingthe duffle bag with my little red bears head sticking out the top.I remember him making it wave goodbye as the bus pulled away.I remember the single tear that ran down his face as he went outof view, the one tear that started so many of my own. Iremember the last letter he wrote me, the letter that is stilltaped to my wall above my headboard; the letter that issupposed to keep away bad dreams. The same letter that in itsays, I love you, December, and I cant wait to come home and

be in your arms. More sobs break, and more tears run. I picturehis perfect face. I listen to his amazing voice. I imagine thewarmth of his hands on my neck when we kissed that first time. Iimagine the warmth of his lips on mine. I use that as a safetyblanket as I drift back to sleep.

I snuggled closer to him and I listened to the youth pastortalk. I remembered the excitement in his voice as he called me


10/33

when he had gotten a letter from the military about signing up. Itold him that he couldnt, and I wouldnt let him. He continued tobeg me to let him. I stood firm on my answer. The good thingabout him is, he needed my approval before he would make anyserious decisions. Well, you need to get in shape if youre going

to be in the military, I would always tell him. He would just rollhis eyes at me. He already was in shape, but I wouldnt let himknow that. I didnt want him to leave. I did let him know thathowever, on multiple occasions. This weeks message was aboutrespecting your parents, and siblings. I heard Mack snortwhenever he mentioned something about respecting your father.Mack had daddy issues. His father left when he was 13. I wasthere through it all, and through that time we grew really close.All of his friends turned on him and would make fun of him, and Iwould always be there to punch them in the face. Mack thankedme profusely for being there for him, and the only thing I could

say was, Youre my best friend, and I would never turn on you,just like youve never turned on me. Im just returning the favor.

After the service, we hung out with our friends for a while,and then we all agreed to head over to Cook Out to getsomething to eat. Mack and I, of course, took my Jeep, along withtwo of our friends, Zach and Jesse, two of the band members.They were probably the only two that actually hung out withanyone other than the band. And they were good people. Theonly thing was they kept joking about Mack and I. They wouldmake kissing noises from the back seat and would talk to each

other in our voices like they were dating. Mack keptthreatening to punch them both in the face. I could just kick youguys out and leave you on the side of the road so that you couldbe alone together I would threaten. I popped in one of myfavorite CDs, Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot. Of course, Icouldnt help but sing along to Learning to Breathe, myabsolute favorite song by Switchfoot. Everyone got quiet when Istarted singing. I stopped and looked around at them. What isit? Mack just smiled. Well, its just that, youre a beast singer,Jesse said. I blushed at his words. No, Im not I looked at theroad. You really are, December, stated Mack in a very matter-

of-fact voice. I just shook my head and kept driving.

After we ate I dropped Mack off at his house and then drovehome. It didnt take long, but without him there it seemed likeforever. I pulled into the parking lot at the apartment. My eyesgrew heavy as I locked the doors to my apartment. I drug myfeet as I made my way through the house, and to my bedroom. Iplopped down onto my bed and released an exhausted sigh that


11/33

Id been holding in since I was at Cook Out. Just as I rolled ontomy back and got comfortable in my bed and under my covers,my Samsung Moment vibrated. Ugh! I looked at my phone. Myheart skipped a beat when I saw that it was a text from Mack.Goodnight, love, it read. A smile stole my lips. I slid the keyboard

out and pushed the reply button. Goodnight to you too,darling. I replied. He sent back a smiley face. I followed suit. Wecould go on for hours just sending compliments and smiley faces.I closed my eyes and thought over the day. I went back to whenhe kissed me. I smiled just thinking about it. I thought about theway his body came against mine when he kissed me. I thoughtabout how I could feel his heart beat fast when he kissed me. Ifell asleep thinking about that.

The next morning I awoke to something clattering in the

kitchen. I jumped out of my bed and ran to the closet. I pulledout my Glock 9 millimeter handgun. I walked slowly out into thekitchen and jumped when I saw it was Mack. He turned to look atme, and then froze when he saw the gun. His hands shot into theair. I let out a sharp sigh when I saw him. I lowered the gunslowly. Good Lord, December. You scared the crap out of me.What are you doing with that thing? Mack motioned to the gun.I thought you were a thief, so I grabbed my gun hoping I couldscare him away, I grinned. Well, it worked! I nearly had a heartattack. Is that thing loaded? I took out the clip and showed it tohim. It was fully loaded. His jaw dropped. So, my girlfriend

nearly kills me while Im trying to make her a nice breakfast.Theres a new one, he said in a sarcastic tone. Do you evenknow how to use it? Mack asked. Yup. I took three differentlevel safety classes and got a pistol permit, and a concealedcarry permit. He rolled his eyes. And what does the concealedcarry permit do? It allows me to carry my gun anywhere otherthan federal buildings if its concealed, I explained. Oh, was allhe said. Well, Im glad you have that thing, you know, if a realintruder breaks in, but just make sure you know whos in herebefore you start getting trigger happy. I laughed.

So he made me French toast and bacon, and got me somefresh Florida orange juice. Mmmm, I exclaimed when I smelledthe French toast after putting away my gun. I went to sit down atthe table, but Mack stopped me. He pulled out my chair and thenmotioned for me to sit down. I made an impressed look andraised an eyebrow. I sat down at the table and then looked atMack. He went and got the food, and then put it in front of me.He kissed my cheek and then set his down at the other side of


12/33

the table. I smiled at him, and then spoke what had been on mymind since I found him. "So, what exactly made you decide tocome make me breakfast?" I tilted my head to the side slightly. "Idon't know, I guess I just wanted to. I wanted to show you howmuch I care about you," he explained. I got up and walked over

to him, and then sat on his lap. I kissed him gently and tenstroked his hair. "I love you so much," I whispered. He smiled upat me and then kissed me back. "And I love you, December," hereplied softly. My heart fluttered as I stared into his deep browneyes. I buried my face in his neck and sighed as he started tosing to me. His voice was so smooth, it made me melt. He rockedme back and forth slightly.

I pulled reluctantly away from him and hopped off of his lap. Isighed as I moved to my side of the table to get my dishes. Iheard Mack get up and come over behind me. He wrapped his

arms around my waist and kissed my neck. I turned around andkissed him back. "What's up with you?" I asked him. He made aconfused look with his face and tilted his head. "What do youmean?" I rolled my eyes. "I know you're trying to butter me up tosomething, so what is it?" He let me go and then clasped hishands behind his back. "I want to join the military, December. Ireally do," he said, giving me the most amazing look. Tears filledmy eyes. "No, Mackenzie, I already told you I don't want you to,"I started. He put his hands on either side of my face and stareddeeply into my eyes. "You know I would never do somethingwithout getting your approval," he begun. He paused to make

sure I was listening. I nodded, giving him approval to go on. "ButDecember, I really want to do this. I feel like God wants me to dothis, and although I am deeply in love with you, I love God more,and I trust him infinitely. I hope you can forgive me," he came tohis conclusion. Tears filled my eyes and spilled over. I noddedslowly against the restraint of his large hands.

The tears that had spilled over in my dream also spill over inreality. They tear me from my dream and stir me awake. Ishudder as the images in my head increase in vividness andspeed. Tears warm my face as I lie on my side in my bed that still

carries the smell of Mack. I miss him so much I miss his face. Imiss his smile. I miss his laugh. I miss everything about him. Myring stares me in the face as it shines in the light seeping intothe room from the bathroom light that creeps through thecracked door. I curl into a tighter ball as I imagine the warmth ofhis skin; the smell of his hair; the sound of his voice. A sobbreaks from my throat and cuts through the quiet night air. Iclutch at my locket around my neck. Inside one would find a


13/33

picture of me on his back in the warm summer air with thebreeze blowing both of our hair to the side. Huge smiles lit upboth of our eyes. I remember those days

Mack took me out in my car and drove me to Kay jewelers in

Raleigh. He made me promise to stay outside in the car. Inodded with a look in my eye telling him that I knew he was upto something. A giant smile lit up his face as he waltzed out ofthe store with a small bag. His face told me something in thatbag would make me very happy. I couldnt help but smile back. Ikept glancing at the bag. I was somewhat afraid though. What ifit was an engagement ring? What if he was going to ask me tomarry him? My heart started racing as he came to the driversside door. He hopped into the car and then closed the door. Heturned to face me and paused. He pulled the box out slowly. Itwas a small black felt box with a gold clasp on the front. I melted

from just seeing the box. It was so beautiful. He opened it slowlyand I gasped when I saw what was inside. It was a gold locketwith a beautiful engravement on the front. Spiraling fernsoutlined the heart shape of the locket. Inside it scripted YoursForever. Tears again filled my eyes for the third time today.Oh, Mack! I exclaimed. Its absolutely gorgeous! He wascontent to just sit there and watch my reaction. Id beenkeeping an eye on it for a while now. Even before we weredating, he explained. His smile grew even bigger as I took it intomy shaking hands and looked over it. It shined in the morninglight coming in through the windshield. My heart slowed down

when I knew he wasnt proposing to me. I sighed and then gotout of the car. A confused look took place on his face and hefollow suit. I ran over to his side of the car and jumped into hisarms. I stood on my tip-toes in order to wrap my arms around hisneck. I kissed him passionately. He laughed joyfully when I pulledaway. Lets head over to the park, okay? He chuckled. Inodded.

We got to the park and he came to open my door. I sighedand looked at him. Im not going to let you go with the Army,Mack. Its not happening, I said plainly. He huffed a sigh. I

already told you, December. Im going no matter if you like it ornot. Im sorry, but I have to, he said softly. I folded my arms andlooked away from him. He took my arm and lead me gently outof my Jeep. He pulled me close to him and wrapped his armsaround me. He rested his head on mine and rocked back andforth. He sighed. I dont want to hurt you, December, hestarted, But God wants me to do this, and I wont disobey him,he sighed. I felt my lip start quivering. I dont want to lose you,


14/33

Mack, I said. By then the tears had already started to flow. Helooked down and put his hand on either side of my face. Paintook over his features. You wont lose me, darling. I promise,you will not lose me, he whispered. He pulled me up into a kissand then pulled me back against his chest. I snuggled up to him

and wrapped my arms around his neck. This is one of the thingsIm going to miss when you go. Im going to miss your hugs, Isighed. He nodded. Im going to miss you so much, December,he sighed into my hair. I paused, and then spoke quietly. Whenwill you leave? I was afraid to hear the answer, but I wanted toknow when to expect it. Im not sure, he whispered. I toldmyself I wasnt going to cry anymore, and I held firm on mypromise. I blinked back the tears and kept my chin fromquivering.

We walked around the park for a little while, hand in hand.

Every once in a while he would kiss my head. We stopped in themiddle of the park, in a big patch of grass in the sun and laiddown. I laid beside him and put my head on his chest. Hewrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed my head. Iwant to spend as much time with you as I can before I go, hetold me. Thats perfectly fine with me, I chuckled. He laughedwith me. Good, cause Im not leaving until they take me away,he laughed. The sun was starting to set and the bugs werestarting to come out. Maybe we should head back to my place.We could invite Jesse and Anna over? Mack nodded at mysuggestion. Anna was one of our good friends, whom Jesse had a

crush on. She was beautiful, but she wasnt snobby about it likeBella. She was very humble. She had beautiful green eyes,medium length, very straight brown hair, and fair skin. Shewasnt short, but wasnt very tall either. She was just kind ofnormal height. She thought Jesse was good looking, but didntlike him. She didnt even know he liked her, though he was veryobvious about it. He hadnt asked her out, and didnt want to,because he was afraid of being rejected. He wouldnt want ablack mark on his perfect record. Anna responded immedietly tomy text, saying that she would head right over. Mack textedJesse and he also accepted immedietly, after hearing that she

would be there. We got there before either arrived and pickedout a movie. We decided to watchA Nightmare on Elm Street. Ihad always had a crush on Johnny Depp, so it was perfect for me.Mack wanted to watch a scary movie, and Jesse thought that ifwe did, maybe Anna would look to him for comfort. He agreedquickly.

When Anna and Jesse showed up, we had popped some


15/33

popcorn and I curled up on the couch next to Mack, and I put myhead in his lap. He stroked my hair as the opening creditsscrolled past the screen. Anna sat down with her popcorn next toJesse. He smiled at her when she looked up at him. She smiledback. I was giggling inside as I saw her flirting with him. Annas

gorgeous green eyes sparkled when she looked back at thescreen. I looked up at Mack and smiled. He smiled back and thencontinued stroking my hair. He leaned down and kissed my lips. Iclosed my eyes and smiled. After about half an hour of watchingthe movie, I was up at Macks side and I jumped every fiveminutes. He would chuckle at my reactions every once in a while.I grabbed his hand and held it tight. Anna grabbed Jesses armand her eyes got wide as she watched the horror unfold on thescreen. Mack would occasionally kiss my head and then strokemy hair. I would look up at his deep brown eyes and smile. Eventhough the movie scared the crap out of me, Mack being here

made it all okay. I thought about him going to the Army soon andshuddered. He assumed it was just a reaction to the movie andkissed my head again. By the end of the movie, Anna had botharms around Jesse and was hiding her face in his neck.

The ending credits came on and Mack turned the lights on.Anna jumped at the sudden illumination. Jesse laughed andrubbed her arm. Her face turned red and she pulled away fromhim. By the time the movie ended it was near midnight. I yawnedand stretched. Mack couldnt help himself and he poked my sidein mid-stretch. I squealed and curlded up at his side. I wrapped

my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Jesse stood upand stretched. Anna released a yawn and hobbled to her feet. Ithink Ill probably be going now. Its kind of late now, Jesseannouced. Anna nodded in agreement. Yeah, I think Ill beheading home too, she paused. Jesse? She said in a smallvoice. Yes, Anna? Can you drive me home? She said, staringat her hands. We all bursted out laughing. Well I dont want todrive home in the dark after watching that! She defendedherself. Jesse nodded, still laughing. Yeah, Ill take you home,he chuckled. Her face turned red again and she folded her arms.She stomped out the door and he followed her, still laughing.

After Jesse and Anna left, Mack wrapped his arms around meand coaxed me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around himand sighed. So, I said as he kissed my head. Ive gotta go tothe bathroom but Im still paranoid, I whispered. Mack laughed.Ill wait outside the door for you, he agreed. I looked up at himand smiled. Thank you, love, I whispered. He kissed my lipsand smiled back at me. Anything, darling, he whispered back. I


16/33

sighed and put my head on his shoulder. I love it when you callme that, I sighed into his shirt. He smiled down at my andrested his head on mine. I sighed again and then creeped downthe hallway, Mack right behind me. I slipped into the bathroom,and checked the shower curtains. A minute later I came out, and

Mack was still standing there, waiting patiently for me. Are youready for bed? I asked when I saw his tired face. He smiled atme. I am kind of tired, he said quietly. A yawn esacped him.Want me to drive you home? I offered. He shook his head. Idont want you to have to drive home in the dark, alone. Inodded. Well, why dont you stay here? I mean, I dont want youto drive home at this hour, in the dark. Especially since youretired, I glanced at the floor. He pulled me close. Of course I willstay here, if it makes you happy, he spoke into my hair. Inodded and wrapped my arms around him.

I shoot up straight in my bed and wrap my arms around mylegs. A quiet sob breaks from my throat and encourages tears torun down my face. The pain felt like someone was slowly puttingmore and more pressure on my heart, and slowly closing up myairways, forcing me to take deeper breaths in order to stay alive.I grabbed a picture of him off of my nightstand, and clutched it tomy chest, hoping it could heal the numbing pain that set up apermanent home in my heart. I curled into a fetal position, andwrapped my arms around my knees, and let the tears come.Strangely, they comforted me. They released the built up paininside and gave it a way to be set free. Although, I did not want

the pain to be there in the first place, I would rather cry than tohave it build up inside until it was too much. I cried until the painreceaded and left only aftermath. It would take a while for all thepain to completely go away. Actually, I dont think it would everreally go away. It could only get better from here. I desperatlycried out to God for some change. I needed this to go awaybecause I couldnt go on to live with this. The hand that had agrip on my heart jerked into a spiral. I cried out, God, please! Asob broke. I screamed at the increasing pain. My neighbors didntcare anymore. They had run their coarse, coming up, only to findthat I was okay, or so I told them. I told them it was nightmares.

So thats what they assumed it was now.

Chapter 3

In the morning, I came out to find Mack sprawled out on mycouch. I sat down by his head, and gently put his head in my lap.I stroked his hair. He yawned and then his eyes fluttered open.Oh, hi there, dear, he whispered. I smiled and kissed his


17/33

forehead. His hand slid up behind my head and he coaxed itdown to meet his. I placed my lips against his and left themthere. He got up to a sitting position and placed both hands inmy hair. My hands found their way to his chest. I traced themuscles with my fingertips. The kiss became more intense, and

his hands moved to my sides. He lifted me up onto his lap, andthen pulled away. I whimpered when he did. He laughed. Nowwhyd you have to go and do that? I whispered. He chuckled. Ithink its time for breakfast, he sighed. Do you want to getready and then we can take my Jeep to Bojangles? You know howmuch I love those Bo-Berry biscuits, I smiled. He chuckledagain. Okay, but we need to stop by my house so I can change.What would the neighbors think? He said in a fake bashful tone.I chuckled. Alright, I agreed. He got up off of the couch and Iwent back to the bathroom to put on some makeup. Mack camein behind me for the brush. He kissed my neck and then brushed

his hair.

We got into the car after we got all ready, and we headed tohis house. I loved his house. Id spent so much time therealready, just hanging out with my best friend, playing Call ofDuty or whatever. I walked in a breathed in the smell. It smelledjust like him. It wasnt like your typical bachelor pad. It was a twobedroom, two bathroom house, with a good sized living roomand a nice, open kitchen. Mack kept it very clean, for which I wasgrateful. Alright, you can sit down or whatever; Ill only be aminute, he said, backing down the hallway. I smiled at him and

sat down on the big, black, leather chair, that matched the largeleather couch against the wall. I played with my phone until Iheard running footsteps coming down the hallway. Macks facewas lit up with excitement. He ran and came around the corner,and dove onto the couch. He grunted when he hit the couch;laying on his stomach. I burst out into laughter. What are youdoing, you big weirdo? I said between streams out laughter.Trying to make you laugh, he paused and motioned to me,Case and point, he said grinning. He got up and came over tome. He pulled me up into his arms. I took a deep breath. Mmm,you smell so good, I whispered into his shirt. He hugged me

tighter. I love you, too, he chuckled. The military came backinto focus for me. I was going to miss him so much. I hugged himtighter. He kissed my head.

After breakfast, we sat in Bojangles and just talked for awhile. We decided to move to the local park. I brought mynetbook with me, which held all of my music. I put on somemetal on, and we just sat and watched the clouds roll by at a


18/33


19/33

my arms around him and buried my face in his shirt. When Ilooked up at him after calming down, I saw his face was wet withtears too. "Oh, Mack!" The tears started again. He pulled my faceto his and kissed me passionately. I had already worked throughthis. I knew he was going into the Army, and I knew he was going

to leave, but I wasn't expecting it to be so sudden. When he gotthe call it made it certain. I tried to calm myself down butnothing worked. I could only picture him out on the field, withguns being pointed at him. Pain washed over me and tightenedaround my heart and lungs. It made it hard to breathe, and I wasalready having trouble. Mack was content to just stand thereholding me. I stood there, clinging to his shirt, trying to get theterrifying images out of my head. I would miss him so much. Iwould miss his smell, I would miss his voice, I would miss hishumor, his fun loving attitude. I would miss every single thingabout him. I love you, December, he said with a shaky voice. I

nodded. I love you too, Mackenzie, I whispered.

We went inside and both sat on the couch, him holding myhand. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Mackstarted to stroke my hair softly. I was determined to be as happyas I could before he left; and nothing could make me more happythan to just sit here and be with him. We didnt even have totalk. All I needed was to be near him. I would have rathered wetalked, but if he didnt want to then we didnt need to. He put onmy favorite movie, Sleepy Hollow, directed by Tim Burton. I loveany movie that had Johnny Depp in it. I laid down across the

couch and put my head in his lap. Where will you be? Iwhispered. He looked down and me and stroked my hair. Hm?He asked. Where are you going? He was silent for a moment.Iraq, he said quietly. A silent tear ran down my face. Look, dowe really have to talk about this right now? Cant we just havesome time together? I flinched at his raised voice. He huffed asigh. Im sorry, December. I shouldnt be like that. This was myidea, he said quietly. I just wanted to know where you wereI whispered. I know, and you should be curious. It wasnt myplace to yell at you like that, he said softly. Lets just watch themovie, I said looking up at him. He kissed me and nodded.

During the more gory parts, I would roll over so that I was on myback and I would look up at Mack. I would watch him watch themovie. It was the most amazing feeling, watching him. I studiedthe features of his face so that I would never forget them. He hadthe most amazing, intelligent eyes. I reached up and touched hisface. He looked down at me and smiled. What is it? He asked.Nothing, I just love your eyes, I whispered. I heard someone onthe movie scream, and I jumped. Mack chuckled. Not funny, I


20/33

said looking and my hands.

I woke up to something cooking. I rolled off of my bed andwalked out into the living room. I was still in the clothes I waswearing last night, but I had been moved to my bed. This time, it

was scrambled eggs and butter toast. So What happened lastnight? I asked. Mack jumped when he heard me. He turnedslowly, with his hands up. Oh, he sighed when he saw me. Nogun. I laughed at him. Well, you fell asleep during the movie,cutest thing ever, by the way, and so I moved you to your bed,and I slept on the couch. I blushed when he made the commentabout me sleeping. I nodded. Okay, I sighed. I went and satdown at the table. You need to let me make you breakfastsometime. This is just too weird, I said. Mack chuckled at mycomment and brought my food over. The fact that he was beingdeported dawned on me and I realized that this may never

happen again. I realized that Mack had failed to tell me when hewas being deported. I was going to ask, but I didnt want to bringit up again. I figured he would tell me soon enough. He sat downon the other side of the table after getting his food and turningthe burner off. We prayed over our food and then ate. So, I hateto bring this up, but, I just remembered that I never told youwhen I would be deported, he paused. He looked up at me fromhis food. I nodded, telling him to go on. I have two weeks, helooked back at his food. I sniffed, and nodded. Well, these aregoing to be the best two weeks ever, I grinned. He smiled backat me.

We filled the first week with movies, concerts, and just chilltime. We went and saw Owl City, one of my favorite bands ever. Itotally melted when I got to meet Adam Young in person, andMack showed a little bit of jealousy, for which I made fun of himlater. We also went to see August Burns Red in concert, at whichMack lost his cool when he saw the lead guitarist. Though Iwasnt much of a screamo fan, I did it for Mack. I loved seeinghim so happy. My apartment felt empty without him there thatnight. In the morning, I went to his house and started makingbreakfast. He laughed when he came out. I told you, I said. He

came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Hekissed my neck softly. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his lipson my neck. I turned around and he kissed my lips. I put onehand on the counter behind me, and one in his hair. He had bothof his hands on my sides. I gasped when he picked me up andput me on the counter. Both of my hands were in his hair. Myheart jumped as he kissed my neck again. I chuckled. Happythis morning? He laughed and took me off of the counter. He


21/33

growled and then kissed my neck once more. Ah! I laughed.Alright, stop it, I chuckled. I need to finish your breakfast, Isighed. Little did I know what he had planned for today. Heyawned and went back to the bathroom to get a shower. I smiledwhen he came out after a few minutes. I had his breakfast all set

up. Today was the day that he was supposed to report to theArmy. My heart stopped when I remembered. He was dressed inuniform. A tear ran down my face as I smiled sadly at him. Youlook totally hot in that uniform, I said weakly. I tried to lookstrong but he saw through it. He came over and wrapped me inhis arms. I love you, he whispered softly in my ear. I noddedslowly. I love you too, Mack. So, so much, I whispered back.

When we got to the base I looked around at all the mendressed in uniform. I pulled my NC State red Jeep GrandCherokee and parked in a visitor spot. I couldnt figure out why I

even decided to put my make up on today, because it was alldown my cheeks now. Mack didnt even try to tell me it wasokay, or that there was no need for tears because he was cryingtoo. I got out and met him halfway around the car. My handswere shaking and my eyes fogged up with tears. Mack tooksomething out of his pocket. A small black box. His hands shookas he got down on one knee. I was totally taken off guard by this.He popped the little black box open and in it sat a small goldenring with a simple sparkling dimond in the middle. Two smallerdimonds sat on either side of the middle one. DecemberDawson, he started. I gasped for air. Will you marry me? I fell

to my knees and grabbed his hands. I couldnt even speak. All Idid was nod. A giant smile stole my face and even more tearsran down my cheeks. He nodded with me and then helped me upoff my knees. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my armsaround his neck. My heart was beating so hard and fast it was awonder it stayed in my chest. He took my face in his hands andkissed me with all the passion in the world. Private Durham!The leading officer yelled. He jumped and released my face. Theofficers voice brought me back into reality and away from Mack.Mack wiped the tears from his face and grabbed his bags out ofmy trunk.

I grabbed his hand with the duffle bag in it, and he spunaround. I motioned for him to wait. I ran to the car and grabbedmy little red NC State bear out of the back seat and kissed itshead. I brought it over to Macks bag and unzipped the top. Thefirst thing I saw inside was a picture of me ontop of his back inthe summer sun at the park. I kissed the bear once more andthen placed it in the bag with the head poking out the top. He


22/33

put his bags on the bus and then ran back to me. I sobbed as hewrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up into a hug.My tears soaked his shirt. He rubbed my back until I was forcedto let him go. I slid the little ring onto my finger. It shined in thesunlight. Mack pulled my bear out of his bag before boarding the

bus. He held it close to his face and kissed its head. He took hisseat on the bus by the window. All of the other soldiers got onthe bus, and they closed the doors. Mack held up the little bearsarm and made it wave goodbye. I fell to my knees as I watchedthe big bus pulled away. A single tear fell from Macks eye whenthey rounded the corner. My own tears fell swiftly down my face.I fell to the ground and started to sob. I could only think whatwas going to happen now. He was going to go out onto the fieldand people were going to shoot at him. They would hit him, andhe would... he would die. The officer came over to me and helpedme up off of the ground. "It's going to be okay, miss," he said

softly. I stood up and nodded.

I drove home, and sat on the couch. Mack wasn't allowed touse his cell phone, and the only phone he could use was a payphone, but only for emergencies, or at night before they had toreport in. It was quiet at night, and quite lonely. I missed Mack somuch. He would call me most every night, but it was still lonelywithout him. We talked for hours at a time, and sometimes, hewould just sing to me. The phone did his smooth, liquid voice nojustice, but it was still heart stopping to hear it. At night, I would

replay our entire lives together and smile when I got to that firstkiss. My heart would jump everytime I would get a call from himbecause it meant he was still alive. And that though kept mealive. I didn't think I could ever be this in love with my bestfriend. I would still die if my best friend died, but now that I'mthis in love, only the thought would be enough to stop my heart. Ikept my head away from that thought. Mack would send meletters, and pictures of him. He would decribe in full detail theactivities that make up their days. I would smile, and read themthree times each. He didn't know why I wanted this information,and didn't believe that I would read it all. At the end of one of his

letters, he wrote, "I love you, December, and I can't wait to comehome and be in your arms." My heart stuttered. So he knew hewasn't going to die out there? I smiled and gasped for air. He wascoming home.

The next day, I waited impatiently for the phone call that wasto be expected from Mack. Nothing. I waited for a letter. Maybehe wasn't able to use the phone anymore? Maybe the lines were


23/33

down. I circled the house, pacing with my arms crossed. Whyisn't he calling? I looked around. Then down at my left hand. Thegold band with the shining middle diamond stared at me. I beganto pace again. Maybe they had a break and he slept in? It wasonly six o'clock in the morning. I walked into the kitchen to get

breakfast. The thought to go back to bed crossed my mind but Ididn't want to sleep. I wanted to be awake if he called. I startedto make breakfast. I made my favorite. French toast. It wassomewhat quiet, so I grabbed my Ipod and put on some music.Fireflies by Owl City. It lightened up the room and made it easierto breathe and relax. I always relaxed when listening to him.Adam Young had the most amazing voice. Mack got jealous whenI met him at the concert, of course maybe it was because I wasacting like a stuttering idiot. I smiled at the memories. Iremembered when Mack wrapped his arms around me and puthimself between me and Adam. I laughed at his jealousy, but

actually I was glad he was jealous. It just meant that he lovedme, and didn't want anyone else to have me. I clung to thememories of his arms around me. The feeling of it.

The tears tear me from my dream one last time. It's morningnow. Time to get up and face one more day. It's been weekssince Mack called me last. And longer since he sent me a letter.Something bad must have happened; there was no other reasonhe wouldn't have called me, or sent me a letter or something. Ihadn't gotten a letter, or a call from an officer saying there were

casualties but I just knew it. I walked out of my room and gotdressed. I was determined to get out. I neededto get out. I gotready and grabbed my keys. I ran out to my Jeep and jumped in.I started the engine and then laid my head on the steeringwheel. "I've missed you," I said to my Jeep. I rubbed the steeringwheel. I backed out of the parking lot and drove to Bojangles.Jesse and Kyle were there. They had seen me recently at church,but they noticed something in my eyes that they hadn't seen in awhile. It was deeply hidden by a mask of sorrow and pain, but itwas there. It was life. Kyle wasn't doing to well either. Mack washis big brother. I walked up to Kyle and wrapped my arms around

him. He hadn't heard anything from Mack in a while either. I felthis tears on my shoulder. Then he began to shake softly withquiet sobs. Silent tears soaked my face. "Do you think..." hedidn't even need to finish it. I shrugged, and then shook my headslowly. "The signs... It's what they say but we can't be sure untilsomeone says something," I whispered in his ear. He noddedslowly and then let me go.


24/33

Jesse was silent the entire time we were there. Finally Ilooked up at him. "What is it, Jesse?" I said soflty. "He... He wasmy best friend," he said, looking up at me from across the table.I nodded. "Mine too," I whispered. Jesse looked at me andnodded. "I know you miss him, December," he said softly. Tears

ran down my face. "I really do, Jesse," I said, my voice breaking.Kyle reach over and held me patienly as I wept. I looked up atKyle's shimmering blue eyes. "You look so much like him, Kyle."He nodded. "Mom tells me, everyday," he looked down. I stoodup from the table. "I've got to go," I paused. The both raised aneyebrow at me. "I've got... stuff... to do. Stuff to get done," I said.Then I took my leave. I drove home, radio blaring all of myfavorite Paramore songs. When I got out, I noticed somethingwas different, but I couldn't place what it was. I walked up to myapartment, and dropped my keys on the holder on the wall. Thensomething crashed in the kitchen. I froze. I pulled my Glock 9

milimeter out of the holster on my hip. I walked slowly into thekitchen, gun raised and finger on the trigger. When I rounded thecorner, my heart stopped. I dropped the gun and fell to myknees. My hands flew to my mouth and I lost my breath. Mackspun around and smiled. I started to sob. He grabbed hiscrutches and came over to me. "I just wanted to make youbreakfast..." he said. "Didn't know it was such a big deal," helaughed. He got on his knees infront of me. I balled my fist andthrew it as hard as I could at his face. Pain shot up my arm as myfist and his face made contact. "Ow!" he yelled when I hit him."Why didn't you call me, jerk!" I yelled before continuing to sob.

He laughed and pulled me up into a hug. I held onto him as hardas I could. He pulled my face up into a kiss. The feeling was evenmore amazing then what I could remember.

He picked up my hand after kissing me, and looked at thering. "So, have you thought of a date yet?" He asked, faceglowing with joy. My heart stuttered, and I wiped my eyes."Mackenzie, youjustgot back! Don't you want to get settled in?Maybe, I don't know, say hello to you brother? He misses you likecrazy," I said, confused. "All I want to do right now is marry you,"he said softly, placing his hands on either side of my face. My

heart stuttered when he said those words. I nodded slowly. Ipulled his face to mine and kissed him softly. "Misses DecemberDurham," I said after he pulled away. Mack laughed, "I like thesound of that," he said, kissing me once more. "I missed you somuch, Mack. And when you didn't call, I thought somethinghappened to you," I said, staring into his deep brown eyes. "Well,something did happen," he said looking down at his right leg."They put me on the front lines and I got shot. Thankfully, it was


25/33

only in my leg and they didn't hit anything major," he said,shrugging it off. He was still in his BDU's and I couldn't see thebandages. "I think we should go see your brother. He's still atBojangles," I said, looking at my keys. Mack nodded and pickedup his crutches. When we got to Bojangles I called Kyle and Jesse

out. Kyle came out, but Mack was hiding behind the car. WhenMack came out, Kyle almost fell down. He ran to his brother andbear-hugged him. "Dude! Why did you stop calling?" He yelled athim. He was mad, but he was still happy to see his brother alive.Jesse was just as excited to see Mack.

We all went back to my place and talked about the wedding.There was no doubt I wanted to marry Mack, and I wanted tomarry him soon. Mack showed no sign of not wanting to marryme, which made me so happy. Kyle acted like he was happy thatwe were getting married, and so did Jesse. We finally decided

when we were getting married. It was already April, and we weregoing to get married on May 26th. I called my mom and told herand Daddy that Mack was home and that we had a date for thewedding. Mom started crying, and Daddy started congratulatingme. All Mom could say was, "My baby's getting married!" Istarted laughing, but I was crying at the same time. Mackwrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I didn't know ifI was ready yet for this, but it didn't matter. I was marrying Mackand that's all I cared about. I was so ready to be Mrs. DecemberDurham. Mack was so happy. He was home, and he was going tomarry me. I didn't see why he was so happy to marry me. I was

the one that should be happy. I was marrying MackenzieDurham. My heart stuttered when that thought crossed my mind.I didn't know what dress I was going to get, or what brides maidcolors I wanted, or what flowers, or anything. Mack calmed medown and said it would all be okay. I nodded. "I know," I saidsoftly. "It's just so sudden, and I hadn't planned anything whileyou were gone." He nodded. "I know, I should've called," he saidquietly. I shook my head. "No, don't blame yourself. I know that ifyou could've called, you would have." He nodded, and thenkissed my head.

Chapter 4

Later on, I decided to take my good friend Lacey with me togo dress shopping. I looked at long, formfitting dresses, fluffydresses, lace-covered dresses, but then I saw a long, strapless,offwhite dress that hugged my body until right above the hips,and then flowed away into a long, beautiful train. It had laceribbons that started in a small bow at the back, and came to


26/33

meet in the middle of my stomach and then flow down with therest of the dress. It was so beautiful. Mack wasn't allowed to seeit. We kept it in a black gown bag. Then it was off to choose thebrides maid dresses. I decided on a deep red color; long,spaghetti strap, smooth dresses that would go nicely with the

flowers me and Mack chose. Now all there was to do was wait forMay 26th. I was so ready to get married to him I almost wantedto move the date up. Lacey was so excited that I was gettingmarried. She loved the dresses, and I thought that they would goamazingly with her skin tone and hair. She had brown eyes, andmedium blonde hair. She had fair skin, but it was more tan thanmine. She was much shorter than me; I was about 5'8" and shewas about 5 foot. I loved the dress on her. It hugged herbeautiful figure and then flattened out at the hips. When shespun around, it spread out and danced with her.

I went to bed that night and smiled for about an hour before Ifinally fell asleep, still smiling. I drempt of the wedding; how Iwanted it to go. When I got to the part where Mack was to sayhis vows, my heart felt as if it were to jump right out of my chest.My hands started to shake, and tears of joy fell from my eyes.When he was to say "I do" fear climbed down my back when thethought that he might not say it entered my mind. Despite myfears, he said "I do", and everyone cheered when he kissed me.When I woke up in the morning, I walked out to the kitchen andstarted breakfast. Mack opened the front door and poked hishead in. I turned and smiled at him. He came over to me and

pulled me into a hug. He rocked back and forth for a momentbefore letting me go. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go tobreakfast but apparently I spoke to late," he said, looking at theFrench toast I was making. I laughed and then got out morebread. "Well you'll just have to sit down and let me make youbreakfast," I said sighing sarcastically. Mack shrugged. "How canI stand for this?" He joked. I laughed and continued breakfast.We sat down, and ate, talking about the wedding. Mack was sohappy, and that made my heart explode with joy. After breakfast,I got dressed and ready, and we went out to chill with Jesse, Kyle,and Anna, who admitted her feelings for Jesse, and now was

proud to be called his girlfriend.

We all met at the park and sat in the big patch of open grassin the middle. I loved living in North Carolina; it was my favoriteplace on earth. Part of the reason was Mack being here, but Ialso loved the land. I loved the open fields here, and the hills andmountains. I loved the country. It was my home, and I wouldnever leave it. Though I lived in Fuquay-Varina, which was a


27/33

popular area, I still loved to drive to Angier, and ride through thecountry. One of my favorite places was Sovreign Guns, a popularlitte gun shop in dowtown Angier. Downtown Angier was aboutthe size of my church. Given the fact that my church was largefor a church, it still wasn't nearly as big as a decent sized

downtown. The people in Angier were so nice, as with most smalltowns. Mack would laugh whenever we drove through Angier,because he was a city boy and I would always talk about howmuch I loved Angier. Mack loved it when I was happy, whichmade me happy. Whenever he was happy, I was, and whenever Iwas happy, he was. We all sat in the park and talked about oldtimes, and how much things have changed. Mack filled me in onabout how Kyle was crushing on one of my younger friends, whowas 16, Ashley. She had big brown eyes, and long, straightbrown hair, with blonde highlights. Her skin was fair, and she wasabout 5'7". She was such a sweetheart and I thought she was

perfect for Kyle. She would treat him right, and I trusted him totreat her right.

I couldn't believe how fast the wedding day was approaching.It was only one week away. My heart would race everytime I sawMack; not that it wouldn't normally do that, but this time it wasdifferent. It beat with anticipation of the wedding. With theanticipation of him saying "I do". Mack came up to me and pulledme into his arms. "One week," he said softly. My heart stuttered."Yeah," I said in a shaky voice. He laughed, "What is it?" "I'm justa little nervous," I said truthfully. I could always tell Mack

anything. He chuckled again. "Don't be," he said, looking into myeyes. He pulled my face up to kiss me softly. I sighed slightly. "Ithink you'll like my dress," I teased. "Ugh, why can't I see it?" Hewhined. "It's bad luck!" I laughed. Mack rolled his eyes and letme go. "You really believe in all that crap about bad luck beforethe wedding?" He put his hands on either side of my face. I shookmy head. "I just want to see the look on your face when I comeout," I said, winking at him. He smiled at me and kissed mesoftly. "I can't wait," I said quietly. Just then someone knocked onthe door. I moaned. I walked up to the door and looked out thepeephole. I gasped at the face I saw. She had a giant smile on

her face. Mack tilted his head to the side. "Who is it?" I jerked todoor open and jumped into her arms. "Paige!" I yelled. Paigelaughed and squeezed me. "Hey girl!" "How did you get here?Don't you live in Tennessee?" I asked, stepping back.

Paige let herself in. She took a long pause, and then lookedme dead in the eyes. "Not anymore! I just moved to Raleigh!" Igasped and threw my arms around her. "Oh my gosh, could this


28/33

day get any better?" Mack laughed. Paige stopped and eyed him."What, no hug for me?" she laughed, walking up to him andgiving him a hug. Mack hugged her back. I walked over to Mackand wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked down into mybright blue eyes and kissed me softly. Paige looked on us with a

loving look. I looked down at my hand, which proudly carried theengagment ring. I sighed. Mack looked down at me and kissedmy head. "Well, now that you're in North Carolina, what do youwant to do?" I asked Paige. "Hm," she hummed, looking around."We could go to Fourty/Fourty-two and get some lunch first," Isuggested. Paige nodded. "Sounds like a plan." We walked downto my car and then stopped. We all looked at each other,obviously thinking the same thing. Who was going to sit in theback? Obviously not me, because I was driving. Then we bothlooked at Mack. He sighed and pouted. "Well she's my bestfriend," I said. He smiled. "I know," he said as he climbed into the

back seat. Paige gave me a toothy grin as she climbed into theJeep. After lunch we drove over to the park and sat in a neatcircle, talking about old times. Paige knew Mack ever since fifthgrade when I met her. She always joked about how it was like meand Mack were conjoined at the hip. We always went everywheretogether. We three were like the three muskateers.

Things went smoothly from that time until the wedding day.The rehersal was perfect and the weather continued to be asbeautiful as ever. I woke up to the sun shining brightly into mywindow. My heart stopped when I remembered it was my

wedding day. I ran through the house squealing like a little girl.Paige, who had slept in the guest room, poked her head out ofthe bedroom as I passed. "What are you doing, fool?" She said,rubbing her eyes. I ran to her and threw my arms around herneck. "I'm getting married today!" I yelled. She flinched back atthe volume of my voice. "Yeah, I know," she mumbled. I squealedagain as I ran to the kitchen. Paige yawned. "I'm going back tobed," she mumbled in a low tone. "No!" Paige jumped at myvoice. She turned slowly. "You can't! I have to make breakfast,and get ready. I need you to curl my hair!" Paige yawned again."Alright," she sighed as she shuffled sleepily down the hallway. I

made breakfast for both of us, and only barely touched mine. Idashed back to my room and grabbed the long black dress bagfrom my closet. My heart thudded as I carefully unzipped it andpulled out the beautiful white dress. I pulled it to my chest andtook a deep breath. I went to the bathroom and changed into it. Icame out and Paige gasped, throwing her hands over her mouth.Her face changed from tired to a giant grin. "You look gorgeous,"she said, taking her hand away from her mouth. "Let's get you


29/33

hair and make up done!"

She pushed me down in the chair, heating up the curler. I feltslightly scared as she pulled out the makeup bag, rifling throughto find a shade for my skin tone. "You'll be absolutely beautiful,"

she said as she pulled out an inventory of makeup that wassupposed to fit on my face. Then she paused to look at me. "Imean, your gorgeous now, but this will bring out your featuresand you'll be stunning." I rolled my eyes. "I know," I sighedsarcastically. "Oh!" She gasped. I jumped. "What?" "You're goingto have to change out of that dress! Do you want it to get allnasty on the way to the church?" I shook my head. "You're right,"I sighed. My heart thudded. Mack and I had agreed to have ourpastor Rick marry us at our church. The same church where hetold me he loved me well over a year ago. I changed out of mydress and Paige came back in. Now I had on a pair of dark skinny

jeans and a dark red Aeropostale shirt. "I still want you to curl myhair here, but I don't want to smear any makeup on the dresswhen I put it on so you can do my makeup there," I said, sittingback down in the brown kitchen chair that went to my diningroom set. Paige pouted. She loved doing my makeup. I watchedher pour all of the makeup back in the bag. "Honestly, Paige, doyou really need so much makeup? You could start your own smallbusiness!" I scoffed, motioning to the 'business in a bag'. Paigescoffed back at me. "You never know," she said seriously.

After curling my hair and spraying it with an over-gracious

amount of hair spray, we headed out to the church. This wasgoing to be an outdoors wedding, held in the green field besidethe church. They brought out plenty of folding chairs, and abeautifully decorated archway which we were to stand under. Istood in the bathroom in my dress, hyperventilating, when Paigecame in and found me. She rushed to grab my arms to calm medown. "What?" She said, wide-eyed. "I'm... getting... married...to... Mack!" I spit out between gasps. She nodded her headslowly. "Yeah, he kind of proposed to you months ago," shestated. "I know!" I screeched. She flinched back. "This is just nowhitting you? What happened this morning!?" She said crossing

her arms. I shook my head. "That was the joy hitting. This is theshock!" She shook her head slowly, dropping her arms. "Let's getyour makeup done," she sighed. I nodded. Probably a good idea.Don't know why though, I'm just going to cry it all off during thewedding. I knew that for a fact. There will be tears. Lots of them.I'm just an emotional person, and I cry at beautiful things. Love,and marrige are two of those. And I do love Mack. I love him witheverything in me. He is my life, and will always be my life. The


30/33

bathroom door flew open, interupting my thoughts. "Mack's nothere," Jesse gasped.

My head swirled as I processed Jesse's words. Mack's nothere? What? Why? He stood me up? Did he not want to get

married to me? Was something wrong? Maybe he's just a littlelate. I shook my head, bringing myself back to reality. "What?" Igasped. Jesse nodded. "Yeah, he's not here. I can't find him adnhe won't answer his cell," he said, catching his breath. Paigethrew up her hand. "He's probably just a little late. It happensright? Let's get your makeup done, December. He'll turn up,don't worry," she said in a sooting voice. I nodded feverently.She's right. He'll turn up. I fell into the chair. Paige pulled out themakeup for the second time today. She brushed the foundationon with startling speed, and then moved on to the eyeliner. Shehad me done in record time, putting the final makeup on with a

smug smile. "What?" I said in a slightly hysterical voice. "Youlook gorgeous," she said in a voice that made it seem to be anobvious fact. I stood up, smoothing out my dress. "What haveyou done," I muttered, turning to look in the mirror. When I sawmy face, I first didn't recognize myself. My face lookedairbrushed, and my eyes looked more blue than usual, my haircurled around my face like an angel's halo. I blinked my eyes,watching the angel in the mirror mimick me. I picked up a hand,and she did the same. It had to be me. Despite the startlingamount of makeup on my face, you could still tell the I wasblushing. Great.

"Thank you, Paige," I said, throwing my arms around her. Shelaughed. "Of course. I wouldn't forgive you if you let anyone elsedo it," she giggled. I uttered a slightly hysterical laugh beforeexiting the bathroom. The fact that Mack wasn't here still swirledin my head like someone had told me I had cancer. I wandereddown the hall, going over the wedding. We were going to havethe reception in the youth ministry room, which was quite large.They were setting up the reception now, along with the weddingarea. Paige ran after me, holding something behind her back. Iraised an eyebrow, and she pulled out a small black box. She

popped it open, and inside sat a beautiful silver chain with asaphire dolphin attached to it. I threw my hand over my mouth."I guess it's an early wedding present. Normally people openthem after the wedding, but this is something you can wear inthe wedding. You could call it your 'something blue.'" I beamedas she clipped the necklace around my neck. The dolphin hunggently around my neck, and I continued to play with it as shelead me down the hall. Then I remembered that Mack wasn't


31/33

here. That continued to worry me, but I remembered Paige'swords. "He's probably just a little late." I told myself that overand over. Then Paige's clock went off. That meant it wasshowtime. My heart thudded like crazy as I headed down the hallinto my waiting position. "Why is he not here?" I half yelled at

Paige. She held up her hands. "Don't look at me!"

The clock was ticking. Mack still wasn't here. Well, no onehad told me that he had arrived at least. Paige rubbed my back,but then had to get into her position, with Reese, one of myother friends. Why is everyone still going on with the wedding?!The groom's not here! I ran my hands through my hair. Breathe,December! I thought to myself. The one of the people came andgot the door, but I couldn't see where Mack was supposed tostand. Paige and Reese, and Anna and Jesse, and Ashley andKyle, and Lacey and Josh, all walked out on cue. Then it was my

turn. Daddy walked up to me, dressed in a black tux, his blackhair, speckled with grey, brushed over in an elegant look. Tearsslid down my face. "Daddy!" I cried as I threw my arms aroundhim. I sniffed and let go, remembering it was my turn. The musicstarted, and I began to walk out. Mack's place came into view,and I saw him standing there; an amazing grin on his face whenhe saw me. Everyone stood up and turned to watch me walk outinto the field, following the blue rug that lined my path. I walkeddown it, smiling at my sobbing mother as I passed. The flowergirls tossed periwinkles into my path. I thought it was too much,but I couldn't rein Paige in. I walked up to Mack, and kissed my

dad on the cheek. I smiled at Mack, who grinned back at me. "Ican't believe this is actually happening," I whispered. Macknodded, "It's about time," he mumbled. I giggled.

The pastor did his job, and we repeated after him at thecorrect times. About halfway through the seremony, tearsstarted to pour down my face. I looked over at Paige, who wasalso crying."Do you have the rings?" Asked the pastor. Jessehanded them up to Mack. Mack slid mine on my shaking hand,and I did the same to him. It fit perfectly. "You may kiss thebride," Pastor spoke. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of

my chest as Mack took my hands softly in his and pulled metowards him. I put my arms around his neck and put my lips tohis. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back.The crow erupted in cheers, and I smiled, but kept my lips onMack's. Mack let me go, and I stepped back, but kept one hand inhis. I looked at Mack, and he smiled back at me. 'Walking onSunshine" by Aly and A.J. played on the speaker, and I startedlaughing. Mack picked me up into his arms, and carried me into


32/33

the church, and into the reception area. The tables were all setup, and somehow, they got a baby grand piano into the bigroom. I got a napkin and started wiping away the tears on myface. The tears were littered with eyeliner and mascara. PoorPaige didn't have any waterproof. Everyone else followed us in.

"Alright, I know you're hungry. Go eat," I said, looking directly atJesse. Jesse grinned as he walked towards the table that were setup with grilled chicken, mashed potatos, and all different types offood. Mack got his food and mine, and we sat down at our table.

After everyone had eaten, the all sat down at the tables likethey were waiting. Did they know something I didn't? Mackkissed my hand and led me to the piano. He sat down and turnedon the microphone. I gasped as I knew what this meant. He wasgoing to sing for me! A grin stole my lips as I waited to find outwhat he was going to sing for me. He started playing the piano

and I knew immedietly. He started to play and sing "VanillaTwilight" by Owl City. Of course, he knew I loved not only AdamYoung, but that song perticularly. The tears started again, andthis time I didn't even try to hold them back. Mack smiled whenhe saw my face, but kept singing. His sweet voice filled theroom, and everyone fell silent. I sat beside him on the pianobench and laid my head on his shoulder. How did I deserve sucha guy? I closed my eyes and listened to the song. Before I knewit, the song was over and everyone was clapping. I opened myeyes to see Mack looking at me, and smiling. I smiled back athim. Could love like this really exist? Was I really this lucky? With

all of my failing attempts at love, my broken hearts, mydepressions, could this really happen? Apparently, it could.Apparently, I really was that lucky. Apparently, love really couldexist and apparently, Mack loved me back.

Two months had past since we got married and it's thehappiest I've ever felt. I wake up every morning to Mack sleepingbeside me, and he seems pretty happy too. He left field duty,and now trains recruits at the local base. We got a new house,and since we both had cars already, that was taken care of. Thefirst few weeks, it was a little rocky, but soon we planed out and

it was smooth sailing. I took up a part time job at a nursery,which I really liked. I got to spend time with kids, which made mehappy. One day, when Mack came to visit, I saw him watchingme with the kids. He had a certain admirable smiled on his face.We got a lawnmower, and other stuff at the wedding, so that gotus started. One thing we didn't see coming was when someonegave us a bunny at the wedding. That's right. A real, live,breathing, and hopping bunny. "Wow," I said, raising my


33/33

eyebrows as I took it in my arms. Yeah, his name is Prince, andhe lives in the extra bedroom, along with my two year oldgeckos, Sydney and Fred. The coffee pot had become my newbest friend, along with Starbucks, and Monster Energy drinks. Westill went to the same church, had all the same friends, but now,

we were married. Something so simple, and yet it changed myentire world. Mack kept talking about getting a dog, but I toldhim that I wanted to settle into the new house before addingsomething that big. He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Wealready got a bunny..."

A scream erupted from the little white house on McLemoreRoad. Mack came running to the room where it had come from,with a baseball bat in his hands. I was sitting on the floor, crying.I then realized, after having a heart attack, that the scream hadcome from me. "What's wrong?" Mack said, dropping the bat and

running over to me. I looked into his eyes, sniffling, and said, asquiet as a whisper, "You're gonna be a dad." His eyes widened."Really?" I nodded, and a smile broke across his face like thesunrise. He picked me up into his arms and held me. We bothstarted laughing, and I wiped away the tears from my face."Okay, so I know that I'm supposed to say, 'Whatever you want iswhat I want,' but I can't help saying it. I hope it's a boy," he said,between laughs. I nodded. "Me too." I showed him the pregnancytest, grinning. "Oh, wow," he gasped as he took it to look. "We'regonna be parents." His face dropped, as it finally hit him. "Oh,my God." He fell onto the bed. "We're gonna be parents." I

nodded. "Yes, Mack, you've already said that." He sat on the bed,staring at the wall in a blind stupor. "Mack? Mack." I swished myhand in front of his face. "Mackenzie." I ruffled his hair. He lookedup at me; his face was pale. "We have a bunny." I nodded,raising an eyebrow. "We can keep it alive. Does that mean wecan keep a kid alive?" I chuckled. "Yeah, Mack. I think so."

We called Paige, after Mack's episode. She drove over, andwe told her about it. She screamed, and jumped on me. Mackpulled her off, thinking it might be bad for the baby. "So, whendid you get the pregnancy tests?" Mack questioned, after Paige

had left. "Someone gave them to me at the wedding." Thiscaused him to burst into laughter. "Wow, what a present. Andthey knew you'd be needing these?" He asked. "Yeah, I guess.Come to think of it, I think it was Mom," I said, chuckling. Macklaughed. "Well, she did always say she wanted grandkids."

December Part 1

Documents