Repetitive Ignorance
Dear Mr. Beale,
I am glad you have brought this to my attention. I do not blame
you; I do not eat the food on my airlines either. Here is my
recommendation, do as I do and bring something else to eat (I like
subway). Since you are curious about dinner around my house, I
would like to invite you over (I have a five star chef). If you
follow my advice, your next flight should be a good one. Remember
to always fly Virgin.
Take Care,Richard
Dear Oliver,
I pity you in more ways than one. I pity your lack of
thankfulness for never enduring true hunger, and lack of gratitude
for a safe, timely flight. Having to look at the seat in front of
you during a flight is a cruelty in itself, and for that I pity you
even further. The hardships you experienced on that flight resemble
those of a POW camp, and Virgin Airlines will happily cover the
cost of any psychiatric care you deem necessary. For future flights
my recommendation would be flying Wolf Gang Puck Airlines, but dont
forget your camera; their food may be more photogenic than ours..
My condolences go out to you Oliver, I hope you can overcome this
traumatic flight.
Sincerely, Richard We are sorry about your recent experience and
so we are offering you a free flight* aboard our airline.
We hope you enjoy your flight!
*Flights are limited to one person, must be redeemed within five
days of this letter, may not be transferred to a third party,
traveler must fly in cargo hold of plane, no meal will be served,
Virgin is in no way responsible for loss of life or limb due to
frost bite or asphyxiation.
To whom it may concern,Thank you for your complaint. I am
currently struggling to find a solution to your problem. Solving
world hunger will have to wait
Sincerely,
Richard Branson
P.S. Your right, that was not custardRepetitive Ignorance
its in custard Richard, custardIts mustard Richard. MUSTARD.Look
at this Richard. Just look at it: Which one is the starter, which
one is the desert?
Ray Liotta says Lifes Not FAIR!
Its your hamster Richard. Its your hamster in the box and its
not breathing.
6
Dear Mr. Beale,
We are sorry to hear that from you, we apologize for having you
going trough that bad experience. All our customers are extremely
valuable to us. However, dont forget that this is an airline not a
buffet or prestigious restaurant. All I can say is... please call
Angelina Jolie ASAP!
Sincerely,
Dear Mr. BealeI am Richard Branson, and I am super bad ass.
While you have nothing better to do than take pictures of food you
dont eat I am busy selling records, building personal islands, and
flying to the moon. Go Beavs, and Seacrest out.Yours
SincerelyRichard Branson