dealing with difficult people

MONDAY, April 16, 2007

MANAGING NEGATIVE PEOPLEAND COURTEOUS SERVICE


RESEARCH FINDINGS

•Personal qualities account 85% to job success while tech skills only 15%.

Carnegie Foundation

•66% got fired for not getting along with peers; 34% on account for lack of tech skills.

Harvard Bureau of Vocational Guidance

•Executives spend 9 work weeks (360 hours settling employee personality clashes.

•IBM spend 40 hours of training per year per employee ,with 32 hours on human relations training.


GOALS OF HUMAN RELATIONS

•3M’s

•Create win/win situation

•Total person approach

•Congenial group behavior


HANDLING HUMAN RELATIONS

• Change the other person• Change the Situation• Change yourself


KIND OF PEOPLE WITH NEGATIVE TRAITS

• Personality Factor• Plateaued Employees• Square pegs in round holes• Bad bosses• Unhealthy work environment


THE DEFENSIVE GUY

• Mr. Perfect, never accept constructive criticism

• His way of doing things is correct• Never changes his mind

HOW TO HANDLE• Give positive reinforcement before giving

negative feedback• Use words like “we” instead of “you”• Use face-to –face interaction


THE CONSTANT ARGUER

• Likes to hear his own voice most of the time

• Dispute even the most rational point, disagree mostly

• Always has a problem with others

HOW TO HANDLE• Let him finish his argument• Don’t interrupt• Keep your cool• Don’t add fuel to the fire


THE “ME” GUY

• Epitomizes ego, inflated sense of himself.• Takes credit for every thing• His problems are bigger than everyone

else’s

HOW TO HANDLE• Let your contribution and worth be known.• Keep a record of team members accomplishments


THE STUBBORN GUY

• Anything but a team player• Committed to his own way , not open to

change• May not argue but will stick to his own

ways while implementing

HOW TO HANDLE• Cut your losses and let him go• Propose an idea to him and let him take charge• His failures will speak for itself


THE BACK STABBER

• Guy we all really hate.• Talk behind your back, makes you look

incompetent before others.• Effective in creating the perception that

you are as bad as he portrays

HOW TO HANDLE• Pull him aside to a private area and let him know that you are aware.• Don’t avoid confrontation even if he denies it


THE BLAME GAME GUY

• Shifts responsibility to others• Never accepts his fault

HOW TO HANDLE• Share responsibility for failure, it may correct him.• Do not take responsibility for his failures to your superior


THE WHINER

• Always complain.• Crosses the delicate line between venting

and unconstructive nitpicking.• Unleashes his cynical attitude

HOW TO HANDLE• You wont be able to change him.• Minimize your interaction with him.• Give him a hinny that you are busy


WHY GOOD PEOPLE BEHAVE BADLY


BIAS IN PERCEPTIONS

• Stereotyping• Narrow frame of reference• Expectations• Selective Exposure• Interests• Projections


TOPICS FOR TODAY

• Locus of control.

• Supportive communication.

• Interpersonal Relationship.

• Customer Relationship Management.


CHANGE ORIENTATION

LOCUS OF CONTROL

The attitude people develop regarding the extent to which they control their own destines.

1-


LOCUS OF CONTROL

1-

Internal Locus of Control:

‘I was the cause of the success or failure for the change.’

External Locus of Control:

‘Something else caused the success or failure.’


INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

• Associated with successful management in North America.

• Are less alienated from work environment.

• More satisfied at work.

• Experience less stress.

• More position mobility.

• Like to participate in decision making


EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

• Most commonly found in managers from Eastern cultures.

• Tend to use coercive power more than internal leaders.

• Perform poorly in stressful situations.

• Prefer to have a simple structure set for them

• Prefer managers who provide direction


COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS

“Most individuals don’t seem to feel a strong need to improve their own skill level”

Focus on AccuracyThe ability to transmit clear and precise messages.


RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN UNSKILLFUL COMMUNICATOR AND SUBORDINATE

4 -

Abrasive, insensitive unskillful message

delivery

Abrasive, insensitive unskillful message

delivery

Distant, distrustful uncaring interpersonal

relationships

Distant, distrustful uncaring interpersonal

relationships

Restricted, inaccurate information and defective

communication flow

Restricted, inaccurate information and defective

communication flow


COACHING AND COUNSELING

4 -

COACHING Focuses on Abilities Giving advice, direction or information to improve performance.

COUNSELING • Focuses on Attitudes• Helping someone understand and resolve a problem him/herself by displaying understanding


WHEN TO COACH:

4 -

WHEN TO COUNSELPersonality clashesDefensivenessOther factors tied to emotions“I can help you recognize that a problem exists.”

WHEN TO COACH:Lack of abilityInsufficient informationIncompetenceSubordinate must understand the problem


COMMUNICATION STYLES RESPONDING TO OTHERS

• FOUR TYPES OF RESPONSES

– Advising

– Deflecting

– Probing

– Reflecting

4 -


APPRAISALS

• 4 F’s- Fair, Feedback, Fulsome, Frequent

• Don’t bog down in the past• Praise generously as well• Never let temper become involved• Be ready to debate• Allow an agreement• Motivation=enthusiasm=energy!

Write people’s accomplishment in stone and thier faults in sandBenjamin Franklin


““Know Thyself”Know Thyself”Carved on the Oracle at Delphi

“He that would govern others must first master himself” Messinger


SCHUTZ MODEL – 1992

• FIRO-B. Fundamental interpersonal Orientation Behavior.

• Human beings must express and expect reciprocal feelings.

• Human beings usually include, control and express affection.

• Basis of compatibility between Bosses and Sub-ordinates.


8 6 4

5 2 3

Inclusion Control Affection

Expressed BehaviorTowards Others

Wanted Behavior From Other

18 .

TOTAL e

10 .

TOTAL W

13 8 7TOTAL

SOCIAL INTERACTIONINDEX

28

MR. EXTROVERT


2 2 3

1 3 4

Inclusion Control Affection

Expressed BehaviorTowards Others

Wanted Behavior From Other

07 .

TOTAL e08 .

TOTAL W

3 5 7TOTAL

SOCIAL INTERACTIONINDEX

15

MR. INTROVERT


CASE STUDYHARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW


CASE STUDY- WHAT A STAR-WHAT A JERK

• Jane Epstein has just assumed manager ship at TechniCo.

• Trying to evaluate personalities of her team.

• Andy Zimmerman’s mean streak has her worried.

• This case explores the dynamics when a star performer displays a highly abrasive personality.

• Exchange of emails with another colleague in ex- organization.


MARY ROWE. TEACHES NEGOTIATIONS AND CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AT SLOAN SCHOOL OF MANAGEMENT AT MIT

• Jane should prepare for this challenge by collecting lot of information but safeguard other people’s privacy.

• Analyze the power balance and suggest a amicable solution

• Andy may be shown that his mean behavior doesn’t improve the performance of team mates

• Suggest a course and if a positive turnaround takes place, reward Andy.

• Keep a careful record of meetings to use in case Andy needs to be fired


CHUCK MCKENZIE. SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT AT OPPENMEIMER FUNDS. BASED IN NEW YORK

• Jane’s facing a clasic situation, the rainmaker who drives everyone crazy.

• Change org structure, alienate him from the rest of the group. Give him sales planning

• Redefine roles of every one. No ambiguity and o total control.

• Try and change the culture, Average performers need to be disciplined.

• Managers need to carve out places for unpleasant, highly productive people- places that keep them from poisoning every one else


JAMES WALDROOP. PSYCHOLOGIST, PRINCIPAL AT PEREGRINE PARTNERS THAT SPECIALIZES IN EXECUTIVE DEVELOPMENT AND EMPLOYEE RETENTION

• Don’t hire people who disrupt the whole org.

• Andy is concentrating on “now” he is not looking long term.

• Jane should stop accommodating and tell him his limits

• Counsel him to change attitude. Peers would not help him

• Warn him of consequences and let him know that company environment has to remain congenial.


COURTEOUS SERVICE


STEPHEN COVEY

Emotional Bank AccountsA metaphor which compares investments in relationships to deposits

and withdrawals in bank accounts.

The more people interact, the more deposits are made.


BUILDING A CUSTOMER READY ORGANIZATION

• VIVA• SWOT• R&P• CRM


• Create a compelling brand experience

• Deliver a seamless experience across channels and touch points

• Care about customers and their outcomes

• Measure what matters to a customers

• Value customers time

• Place customer DNA at the core






dealing with difficult people

Business

internal locus of control

external locus of control

today locus of control

negative people

cool dont

individuals dont

attitude people

stubborn guy