dealing with difficult people
Dealing with Difficult Blog Comments
Apr 24, 2015
A short presentation by David Eaves at Northern Voice on what negotiation theory can teach us about managing difficult commentators.
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dealing with difficult people
dealing with difficult people
fellownegotiator
policy geek
blogger
my point:have a goalthree challengesbe a model
<1>
goal?
become an expert?
make friends?
gain insight?
share ideas?
market yourself?
become an expert?
make friends?
gain insight?
community
share ideas?
market yourself?
<any?>
community
fun
engaged
active
forgiving
interesting
fun
engaged
active
forgiving
interesting
and…
© 2003 The New Yorker Collection from cartoonbank.com. All Rights Reserved.
our goal?
it is not enough that I am right
they must also be wrong
<2>
weak relationships
+
blunt communication mediums
weak relationships
+
blunt communication mediums
=
dangerous assumptions
example
I didn’t say you were stupid
I didn’t say you were stupid
I didn’t say you were stupid
I didn’t say you were stupid
I didn’t say you were stupid
dangerous assumptions
I have the relevant information
I have the relevant information
If they knew what I knew, they’d think differently
I have the relevant information
If they knew what I knew, they’d think differently
They’re probably crazy, stupid or evil (or all of the
above)
<3>
model behaviour
influence your community
WHAT WE CONTROL:▬ how we behave▬ how we allow
others to affect
our behaviour
WHAT WE CONTROL:▬ how we behave▬ how we allow
others to affect
our behaviour
WHAT WE INFLUENCE:▬ others behaviour ▬ our relationship▬ the results
be curious
SHARE
ASK
SHARE
ASK
SHARE
ASK
My Conclusions
My Interpretations Their Interpretations
Data I noticed Data they noticed
DATA POOL
Their Conclusions
From Argyris & Schon
Courtesy of Common Outlook Consulting
considered response
1.Inquire:▬ Asking questions to learn
information
2.Acknowledge:▬ Of their view or feelings
(without agreeing, per se)
3.Advocate:▬ Explaining your point of view
set rules
key thoughts
1. you are the leader of your community
key thoughts
2. shape your posts
key thoughts
3. consider your reaction
key thoughts
4. don’t be afraid delete
key thoughts
5. remember you too are a difficult person
David Eaves
www.eaves.ca
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