CuidANCE MATTERS Did It on Purpose!" Dan Gartrell On this day in a child care center, the lead teacher is absent as the three-year- old group has come in from the piay- ground. A chiid is feeiing sick, so the assistant teacher is tending to her in the quiet area. This ieaves the new student teacher, Rhonda, to get the children into a iarge group activity by herseif. As the children enter the room, most sit down in the group meeting area. Raffi, a quiet "younger three," sits in the cir- cle near the door. Wade, aimost four, approaches the group, then lies down and sidies along the fioor toward Raffi. Wade kicks at Raffi. who turns around and protests, "Stop!" Rhonda, busy getting the group ready for a story, doesn't seem to notice the confiict. Wade continues pushing his foot hard into Raffi's back. Holding his back, RafTi begins to cry. Rhonda leads Raffi to the other side of the circle, finds him a place to sit, and returns to reading the story. When Wade notices Rhonda move Raffi whiie ignoring him, he again crawis around behind Raffi. Again Wade pushes his foot into Raffi's back. Looking exas- perated, Rhonda starts to get up to deai with the situation. But seeing what is happening, Anne, an experienced student teacher with another group, comes over, comforts Raffi. and takes Wade away to the nearby dramatic piay area. Wade scoots under a table and will not come out. Anne does not make Wade come to her, but sits on tbe floor near tbe table, apparentiy iistening to tbe story. After a few minutes, Wade crawls out and sits on Anne's lap. Tbe two iis- ten to the rest of tbe story and watch the group activities. As the dass transitions to center time, the assistant teacber rejoins the group. Rhonda looks reiieved. Discussion What do teachers do when children cause conflicts on purpose? Rhonda probably ignored Wade's intentional act the first time, and simply moved Raffi the second time, because she did not want to overreact to the situation and risk losing control of the group. Especially in group situations, the decision to intervene in conflicts or to ignore them is a common and difficult dilemma. For this reason, preventing con- flicts (rather than having to react to them) is always the teacher's prior- ity. In early childhood education, it is helpful to remember that young chil- dren and large groups are not a natu- ral match! Children manage in large groups more easily as they grow older. So, especially in group situations, we should not underestimate the impor- tance of teaching in teams. If avail- able, the assistant teacher might have helped Wade join the circle, prevent- ing the conflict. Even after an incident happens, a second adult is invaluable. Rhonda later expressed appreciation to Anne for assisting her Rhonda's reaction to Wade's behav- ior was to let the situation go and hope for the best. In contrast, some teachers automatically shift into "dis- cipline mode" when a child intention- ally causes a conflict. The problem with this reaction is that it influences teachers to jump from judging the behavior to judging the child (Gartrell 2004). Back in 1988 Polly Greenberg criticized the practice of labeling kids as good or bad and enforcing "me against you discipline" (punish- ment) to increase "good behavior" (Greenberg 1988). This line of rea- soning presumes that children, even young children, know how to behave, but they choose to be "bad." Even today, teachers wbo take tbis view consider children such as Wade to be willful, defiant, oppositional, or chal- lenging and in need of discipline to shame them away from bad behavior Research now tells us that due to still-developing brains and limited social experience, most young chil- dren are just beginning to learn how to behave (Albert 2003). The effect of punishment on a child like Wade 1,2,3 Dan Gartrell, EdD. is director ofthe Chiid Deveiopment Training Program and pro- fessor of early childhood and elementary education at Bemidji State University in northern Minnesota. A former Head Start teacher, Dan is the author of The Power of Guidance, A Guidance Approach for the Encouraging Classroom, and What the Kids Said Today. Please send your guidance anecdotes and other comments to dgartrell@ bemidjistate.edu.ThanKsto Rhonda Jackson and Anne Peterson for sharing their student teaching experiences. They and their supervisor learned a lot from the experi- ence and discussing it together. Children's names in ali anecdotes are changed. illustration by Patrick Cavanagh. This column is avaiiable oniine in Beyond Ihe Journal, September 2007, at www.journal.naeyc.org/btj. 62 young Ch/Wren*September2007
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CuidANCE MATTERS
Did It on Purpose!"
Dan Gartrell
On this day in a child care center, thelead teacher is absent as the three-year-old group has come in from the piay-ground. A chiid is feeiing sick, so theassistant teacher is tending to her in thequiet area. This ieaves the new studentteacher, Rhonda, to get the children into aiarge group activity by herseif.
As the children enter the room, mostsit down in the group meeting area. Raffi,a quiet "younger three," sits in the cir-cle near the door. Wade, aimost four,approaches the group, then lies downand sidies along the fioor toward Raffi.Wade kicks at Raffi. who turns aroundand protests, "Stop!"
Rhonda, busy getting the group readyfor a story, doesn't seem to notice theconfiict. Wade continues pushing his foothard into Raffi's back. Holding his back,RafTi begins to cry. Rhonda leads Raffito the other side of the circle, finds hima place to sit, and returns to reading thestory.
When Wade notices Rhonda moveRaffi whiie ignoring him, he again crawisaround behind Raffi. Again Wade pusheshis foot into Raffi's back. Looking exas-perated, Rhonda starts to get up to deaiwith the situation.
But seeing what is happening, Anne, anexperienced student teacher with anothergroup, comes over, comforts Raffi. andtakes Wade away to the nearby dramaticpiay area. Wade scoots under a table andwill not come out. Anne does not makeWade come to her, but sits on tbe floornear tbe table, apparentiy iistening to tbestory. After a few minutes, Wade crawlsout and sits on Anne's lap. Tbe two iis-ten to the rest of tbe story and watch thegroup activities. As the dass transitions tocenter time, the assistant teacber rejoinsthe group. Rhonda looks reiieved.
Discussion
What do teachers do when childrencause conflicts on purpose? Rhondaprobably ignored Wade's intentionalact the first time, and simply movedRaffi the second time, because she didnot want to overreact to the situationand risk losing control of the group.Especially in group situations, thedecision to intervene in conflicts or toignore them is a common and difficultdilemma.
For this reason, preventing con-flicts (rather than having to react tothem) is always the teacher's prior-ity. In early childhood education, it ishelpful to remember that young chil-dren and large groups are not a natu-ral match! Children manage in largegroups more easily as they grow older.So, especially in group situations, weshould not underestimate the impor-tance of teaching in teams. If avail-able, the assistant teacher might havehelped Wade join the circle, prevent-ing the conflict. Even after an incidenthappens, a second adult is invaluable.Rhonda later expressed appreciationto Anne for assisting her
Rhonda's reaction to Wade's behav-ior was to let the situation go andhope for the best. In contrast, someteachers automatically shift into "dis-cipline mode" when a child intention-ally causes a conflict. The problemwith this reaction is that it influencesteachers to jump from judging thebehavior to judging the child (Gartrell2004). Back in 1988 Polly Greenbergcriticized the practice of labelingkids as good or bad and enforcing"me against you discipline" (punish-ment) to increase "good behavior"(Greenberg 1988). This line of rea-soning presumes that children, evenyoung children, know how to behave,but they choose to be "bad." Eventoday, teachers wbo take tbis viewconsider children such as Wade to bewillful, defiant, oppositional, or chal-lenging and in need of discipline toshame them away from bad behavior
Research now tells us that due tostill-developing brains and limitedsocial experience, most young chil-dren are just beginning to learn howto behave (Albert 2003). The effectof punishment on a child like Wade
1,2,3
Dan Gartrell, EdD. is director ofthe Chiid Deveiopment Training Program and pro-fessor of early childhood and elementary education at Bemidji State University innorthern Minnesota. A former Head Start teacher, Dan is the author of The Power ofGuidance, A Guidance Approach for the Encouraging Classroom, and What the KidsSaid Today.
Please send your guidance anecdotes and other comments to [email protected] Rhonda Jackson and Anne Peterson for sharing theirstudent teaching experiences. They and their supervisor learned a lot from the experi-ence and discussing it together. Children's names in ali anecdotes are changed.
illustration by Patrick Cavanagh.This column is avaiiable oniine in Beyond Ihe Journal, September 2007, at
www.journal.naeyc.org/btj.
6 2 young Ch/Wren*September2007
(especially when repeated) is thatinstead of being shamed into being"good," he is shamed into feeling heis bad (Dreikurs, Grunwald, & Pepper[1982] 1998; Gartreil 2004). This psy-chological dynamic immediatelycauses the child's stress levels to goup and feelings of isolation to arise.The child needs affirmation from theteacher but perceives that the teacherregards him as unworthy. Mistakenly,the child acts out to get the humanconnection he needs, sometimesagainst the child who "caused" himto get in trouble in the first place(Dreikurs. Grunwald, & Pepper [1982]1998; Albert 2003).
By punishing the instigator, teach-ers may think that they are fixing theproblem. In reality, they are probablyreinforcing bullying tendencies in thedisciplined child and a victim Iden-tity in the child who was bullied. Toooften the automatic discipline reactionmakes future classroom dynamics evenworse (Albert 2003; Gartreil 2004).
Dreikurs' contribution
Psychologist Rudolf Dreikurs con-tributed much to our understanding ofhow to respond to children's behavior(1968; Dreikurs, Grunwald, & Pepper[ 1982] 1998). Dreikurs wrote thatteachers help a child learn productivebehaviors only when they, in firm andfriendly ways, guide the child towardfinding social acceptance. Dreikurs,along with Ginott (1972). and otherswho followed them, argue that frustra-tion in achieving the life goal of socialacceptance is the real reason whychildren cause conflicts (Albert 2003;Gartreil 2004).
Guiding children in finding socialacceptance is one of the most impor-tant parts of the early childhoodteacher's job. The second studentteacher in the anecdote, Anne, reallyhelped Wade. After comforting Raffi,she quietly left with Wade and then lethim sit on her lap—the right actionsfor that child in that situation. Annehelped Wade regain social acceptance.
Later, when Wade is calm and thetime is right, a teacher who knowsWade well might have a guidancetalk with him. A guidance talk meansteaching and learning about
• what happened (in the situation thatrequired teacher intervention);
• how the other child felt;
• what the child can think of to helpthe other child feel better (better thanforcing the child to say "I'm sorry");
• what the child can do differentlynext time.
An alternative guidance interven-tion is conflict mediation, which ateacher would undertake with Raffi
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and Wade together. (See "GuidanceMatters." iVlarch 2006. in Beyondthe Journal, for a discussion of thisequally important guidance tech-nique. Go to http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/20()603/GuidanceBTJ.pdf.)
In the guidance perspective, chil-dren learn from conflicts only whenthey have productive relationshipswith the teacher who intervenes. Therelationship comes first. Teachers buildproductive relationships throughshared quality time outside of conflictsituations. Frequent acknowledgmentof the child's efforts and achievementsis key, We know we are building a rela-tionship when a child comes to us inthe tough times. Wade came out fromunder the table and sat on Anne's lap.Anne let him.
Guidance requires teachers to befirm—but firm and friendly, not firmand harsh. There are definite con-sequences when a child causes aconflict, for the teacher as well asthe chiid. The consequence for theteacher is teaching—by first calmingeveryone down (and rememberingthese young chiidren are just begin-ning to learn difficult life skills). Theconsequence for the child is learn-ing how to express strong emotionsin nonhurtful ways, how to get alongwith others, and how to feel capableof learning important life skills,
The children in our classrooms arejust beginning a very complex, life-long learning process. They, like allof us, make mistakes—errors in judg-ment in their behaviors. Guidancemeans teaching children what theyhave not yet learned. Teaching—not
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punishment—is the logical conse-quence (Dreikurs' term) when a childcauses conflicts.
To increase your knowledge
Get a historical take on working with chil-dren's behavior. Locate a book or an articleby either Rudolf Dreikurs or Haim Ginott(who famously said, "To reach a child'smind, a teacher must capture his or herheart"), What do these esteemed psycholo-gists have to say that applies to workingwith children today?
A step you can take
With other staff, select a chiid who is hav-ing frequent conflicts, Develop a plan forhelping the child to feel more accepted inthe group. Perhaps involve the child in moresmall group activities or take turns spendingquality time with the child. Actively followthe plan for one to two weeks. Discuss thefollowing questions with your colleagues:How has your thinking changed about thechild? How do you think your way of relatingto the child has changed? Why do you thinkthere have or have not been changes in thechild's behavior? What might be some waysto continue helping the child to fit in withthe group?
References
Alljert, L. 2003. Cooperative disciptine. Leba-non, IN: AGS/Pearson Globe.
Dreikurs. R. 1968. Psyctiotogy in ttie ctassruom.2nd ed. New York: Harper & Row.
Dreikurs. R.. B.B. Grunwald, & F.C. Pepper.[1982] 1998. Maintuinins sanity in (he class-room: Classroom management techniques.2nd ed. London: Taylor & Francis.
Gartreil. D. 2004. The power of guidance: Teach-ing social-emolionai .siiilts in early childhoodcta.ssroom.'i. Clifton Park. NY: Thomson Dei-mar Learning; Wasbington, DC: NAEYC.
Ginott, H.G. 1972. Teacher and child: A book forparents and teachers. New York: Avon.
Greenberg. P. 1988. Ideas That Work withYoung Cbildren. Avoiding "me against you"discipline. Young Children 44 (1): 24-29.
Copyright © 2007 by the National Association for the Educa-Won of Young Children. See Permissions and Reprints onlineatwww.journal.naeyc.org/about/pennissions.asp.
64 Young Children'September 2007
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