Croydon U3A Magazine · As gardeners we take a dim view of weeds. Gerard Manley Hopkins, whom ... professional living alone – no responsibilities and having a ball - compared ...

Croydon U3A Magazine

Spring 2018

The Third Age Trust (Operating as the University of the Third Age)

Croydon U3A Reg. Charity No. 102946612

Website address www.u3asites.org.uk/croydon

Table of Contents Editorial From the Chairman – ‘We have the Answer, Theresa’ In Praise of Surrey Network Study Days Porto October 2018 – U3A Holiday Notice Strictly Ballroom Reports from General Meetings:

Poland and the UK Greece – its Land and Legends Conspiracy Theories

Groups: Gardening Singing for Pleasure Radio 4 Appreciation Group Family History Group Creative Writing Looking at London Current Affairs

Creative Writing: Story: The VIP’s Visit

Care of Fuschias British Values Maoi and Mystery – Easter Island Davidson Lodge Senior Moment Dear Mr Burglar

1 2- 3 4 - 5 5 - 6

6 7 – 8

9 - 10

10 - 15 16 - 17

17 - 18 18 - 20

21 21 - 22 23 - 25 26 - 27 28 - 29

29 - 30

31 32 - 33 33 - 35 36 - 37 37 - 38

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Cover Picture – Davidson Lodge

Editorial Glenn Morfill treats us to a senior moment followed by panic and derring-do. I’m prompted to own up to a much minor one. For some weeks the timer on the boiler had been playing up. On more than one occasion I happened to be awake around 4.30 am and was aware – from creaking in the radiators - that the heating had come on. I promptly trotted downstairs and told the boiler not to come on till 6.30 – which it then neglected to do. In the evening it had developed the habit of going off long before the programmed 10.30 pm.

I got in touch with the boiler people and arranged for an engineer to come. He was in the house for no more than five minutes, having noticed that the clock on the timer was showing ‘pm’ instead of ‘am’.

Collapse of thin party! Which was the stronger, shame or relief? I’m afraid it was the latter.

As gardeners we take a dim view of weeds. Gerard Manley Hopkins, whom the Poetry Appreciation Group read recently, provides a corrective:

Nothing is as beautiful as spring –

When weeds in wheels shoot long and lovely and lush…

Many contributions in this issue testify to the wide interests of our members, not least that of our intrepid world traveller, Margaret Derrick.

We (not the ‘royal ‘we’ but you and me) are very grateful for all the contributions.

The next issue will be for Summer 2018 for which the deadline will be Wednesday 18 June.

Gordon Thynne

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From the Chairman: We Have the Answer, Theresa

One of the biggest changes to the way we live has been the big increase in the number of people living alone. More than a quarter of all households in the UK contain just one person, around 7.7 million people. The prediction for 2028 is almost 10 million.

Of people over 75, about 2.2 million live alone, compared with around 430,000 in 1996.

This isn’t just a statistic for the older (Third Agers) population. Almost two and a half million people between 45 and 64 live alone, and this is the fastest rising group.

Living on your own is not the problem. The stereotypical ideas of the young professional living alone – no responsibilities and having a ball - compared with the older person being alone and lonely, does not do justice to reality. There is also a risk of muddling loneliness with being alone.

A good deal of research is going on and governmental activity is hotting up.

Mr. David Halpern (working on social exclusion and isolation) addressing a summit in Sweden said:

‘If you have got someone who loves you, someone you can talk to if you have got a problem, that is a more powerful predictor of … [length of life]… any other factor, certainly more than smoking.’

David Halpern referred to analysis of 148 studies into the effects of social isolation on mortality, conducted in the USA. Researchers looked at the lives of nearly 309,000 people over seven and a half years on average. No small study!

The positive effects of family and friends were consistent across age, gender, health status, follow-up period and cause of death.

The conclusions were that we are social animals. Babies die without social interaction and there is surely much truth in the claim that the best way to look after your own health is to be involved with others.

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None of this of course is new. But now we have more big guns such as Professor Jane Cummings (NHS England's Chief Nursing Officer), Theresa May, Tracey Crouch MP and the Jo Cox Loneliness Commission working to raise awareness.

The Commission’s survey suggested that 200,000 people had not had a conversation with a friend or relative in more than a month, and up to 85% of young adults with disabilities feel lonely most days.

What is the future? Prescriptions for a dose of friendship and a couple of tablets of company a day?

I would like to think that we in the U3A have firmer and more effective strategies. Belonging to an organisation, receiving mail and magazines, groups to join and meeting to attend, deliver 100%.

The benefits of learning new things, re-learning things you have forgotten, sharing your knowledge and expertise with others and the social interaction this all generates, whether it is post, by email, virtual (for example with the Virtual U3A), in house groups, meeting in small and large halls, joining an outing and more – the U3A has the answer. Learn, Laugh and Live with our other U3A members.

Spread the word to someone who may be lonely; to someone who has much to offer; to someone who could make friends and be a friend. Don’t hide our light under the proverbial bushel.

Most new members come to the U3A through word of mouth and personal recommendation. So spread the word – SHOUT about the U3A as an amazing organisation

The National website has this wonderful summary of the U3A –

A unique and exciting organisation, which provides life-enhancing and life-changing opportunities. Retired and semi-retired people come together and learn together not for qualifications but for its own reward: the sheer joy of discovery.

So Theresa do you want to join when you retire?

Jenny Wilson, Chairman (using information provided by BBC News).

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In Praise of Network Study Days Network Study Days are, in my experience, fantastic learning opportunities and I really recommend them to you. Being organised by a Network (group of neighbouring U3As) the resources and members to take on organisation and hosting are that much greater. You meet members from other U3As and visit different venues. The days are very good value for money, but unless you are going to a London based Study Day using your Travel Pass, a car is really a must.

In October 2017, I attended a very informative day entitled ‘Keeping Everyone Welcome’, held at East Horsley. We heard from a range of proficient experts on health issues, disabilities and driving, with emphasis on access and inclusivity.

These are just a few of the things I learnt :

2/3rds of the people who have ever lived since the human race began, are alive now;

11million people have some level of hearing loss, with 4m being under 60;

at about 20 years of age the hairs in the cochlear (in the ear) stop growing, which means that from that young age hearing starts to deteriorate. In the future hearing loss will become a bigger problem due to listening to loud music which causes damage;

eyesight will deteriorate but cataract surgery is fantastic;

it’s necessary to keep moving to stop the muscles wasting.

The following day we were busy attending workshops. It was quite difficult to choose from the list of topics, as each delegate could only go to three. I opted for Accessibility and Inclusivity, Encouraging Volunteering and Group Co-ordinators – Making it Happen. All were well structured and lots of good ideas were exchanged. It seems many U3As face similar challenges, especially in relation to getting volunteers for the Committee. Everyone I spoke to was enthusiastic about the U3A and passionate about the benefits of membership.

We also had two very different presentations: one by Christopher French from Goldsmiths College entitled ‘Weird Science – An introduction to Anomalistic Psychology’, which he described as ‘Psychology of Weird Stuff’. The other was by Jo Coleman, Partner from Bond Dickinson (a UK Law Firm). She spoke about

‘Gruesome Governance’.

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In January I ventured to Hailsham, Sussex, for a Maths Study Day. Again it was very well organized at a lovely location. Roger Luther talked us through ‘Chance from the Cradle to the Grave’. We also learned about some key figures in 20th Century mathematics. I managed to keep up with most of it!

More recently in February, I attended a Surrey Network Study Day on ‘Making Sense of Militant Islam’, presented by Anne Davison. She gave us four riveting one-hour illustrated talks during the day and willingly answered lots of questions from the two hundred plus members. She has written a number of books on the subject. She gave us a very accessible understanding of the historical causes, the political, geographical, tribal and religious factors and information about different factions in the Syrian war.

Three great days: I learnt a lot and saw how other U3As and Networks operate.

To find Study Days, open Croydon U3A website and click on links to Surrey and Sussex networks and London Region.

Happy learning.

Jenny Wilson

Porto “Any time not drinking port is a waste of time’ - Percy Croft

Porto is Portugal’s second largest city, and its Ribeira district is a world heritage zone of winding streets and churches that maintain the old-world feeling you expect from such a historic city. And yet, there is a modern vibe.

This is evidenced by the Casa Da Musica – an architectural masterpiece commissioned in 1999, and finally opened in 2005. Designed by Dutch architect Rem Koolhaus, this concert hall/complex has been designed to ensure the audience has the best audio and visual experience. There are special rooms where teenagers and children can be deposited (under the supervision of trained staff), so parents can enjoy the concert. And when I say ‘deposited’, it means the children are placed in a multisensory environment, so that they can enjoy the experience as much as their parents.

The only ‘down’ for me was the glass floor – I have problems with see-through floors – but it did mean I could clutch the arm of our lovely guide as he took me across to the exit. (It was the only way out!).

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When we finished the tour, the same lovely guide (who also happened to be a resident singer) gave us a rendition of fado (Portuguese folk song) – fabulous!

Jane Appleyard

[Jane’s note supplements the report on the holiday by Noreen Villiers in the Autumn issue of the Magazine – Editor.]

Croydon U3A Holiday to North Wales and Liverpool October 7th to 12th 2018

The itinerary will include: - a visit to the Italianate village of Portmeirion - a trip through the Snowdonia National Park on the Ffestiniog Railway - visits to National Trust Speke Hall and Bodnant Gardens - Port Sunlight heritage village, built for the Lever Brothers Factory workers - a day in Liverpool with entry to the Terracotta Warrior Exhibition - a trip to the coastal resort of Llandudno. The Coach picks up from Croydon. We stay in a low rise, 3 Star, Hotel half-board in Mold. Cost £565 p.p. sharing twin/double room. Single supplement £69 Insurance £30 AT THE PRESENT TIME WE CAN STILL TAKE BOOKINGS FOR TWIN/DOUBLES. You may share with a non-member YOU CAN GO ON THE WAITING LIST FOR A SINGLE ROOM. Janet Stokes

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Strictly Ballroom

What a surprise to get a call from Jenny Wilson asking us whether we did ballroom dancing! To which the answer was a firm and unambiguous ‘No’.

‘Great’, she said, ‘I need a couple with two left feet’.

She went on to explain that, in the interests of promoting active ageing, not to mention Croydon U3A, she was putting together a small group to attend a tea dance, being recorded as part of the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. Absolute beginners to the world of ballroom would be especially welcome, and might even receive a little instruction.

Well, we do watch Strictly (not all our friends know this), but Pauline was out, and I could not see her being very keen – come to that I was ambivalent myself - so I promised Jenny I would ring back ASAP, but not to count on us. When Pauline came in, having been shopping with our daughter, I said ‘How would you like to participate in Strictly’, and promptly received the anticipated ‘not likely’. Our daughter, however, said ‘You must go, what do you have to lose? It may be fun’, and a few minutes later I was back on the phone to Jenny to say ‘Yes’. She said it would be at a ‘prestigious venue’, and the BBC would get on to us with details shortly.

The venue turned out to be the ballroom at Buckingham Palace, no less, at which point our interest quickened, and Pauline went clothes shopping.

We duly met the other Croydonites – I was aghast to see that I was the only male - at Victoria Station. Six of us, Jenny, Cariss, Shirley, Sharon, Pauline and me, headed for the Palace, where we presented our photo ID and went in, meeting a coach and horses coming out (possibly bearing visiting diplomats). Soon, it was red carpets, grandiose staircases, and smiling Palace officials at every doorway.

It was a great occasion for the star-struck! We saw a host of familiar faces: judges, professional dancers, and celebrities who had previously danced in the programme and were being called back for the Christmas show, all circulated freely, joining us at tables, chatting, and imparting Strictly gossip.

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Judy Murray told us that having said after her appearances that she would take up dancing, she had not actually been on a dance floor since, and now she was rehearsing again, and showed us the bruises to prove it. Robbie Savage said that playing football in front of 80,000 spectators at Wembley was less terrifying than the moment when the music for his dance was about to strike up on live TV.

Someone had obviously briefed the BBC about our two left feet, as before long Pauline and I were called out for a dancing lesson with Pasha and Karen – names that will be familiar with regular viewers. Before long we were managing a simple step, receiving praise (more than we deserved) from the professionals, and were launched on to the crowded dance floor pursued by a camera. We can reveal that Anton does not look where he is going – he and his partner banged into us twice, and it couldn’t have been our fault, could it?

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, patron of the National Osteoporosis Society which was sponsoring the event, arrived and was greeted by Craig with the words, ‘Your Royal Highness, darling’. She circulated, speaking to Sharon from our group. The professional dancers performed an exciting routine to great applause.

When it was time to leave, I found original artwork (very capable pen and ink drawings) by Queen Victoria and Prince Albert hanging in the Gents, and then Pauline and I lingered in the grand corridor for a moment gazing at the priceless portraits of past royals. Pasha passed us, recognised us, and kissed Pauline goodbye. I’m not sure that she has washed her face since.

I felt so sorry for all those who had turned Jenny down, like we nearly did. It was a memorable and fantastic day. The tea wasn’t bad either.

John Bartholomew

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Reports from General Meetings

Poland and the UK

At the General Meeting on 13 December Roman Bednarz gave us an insight into the Instabilities which have led to many Polish people living abroad – about 25 million in total. An animated slide showed the country shrinking and expanding over the centuries. Unlike the UK, it has no natural boundaries and has been a prey to neighbours.

There was a time when Roman had to travel to Ealing to get Polish ‘bits and pieces’. Now, Polish is the most widely spoken language in the UK after English. But connections between Poland and the UK go back a long way. King Canute had a Polish mother. In the 18th century, Scottish traders settled in Poland. Our country has always been a welcoming one – for example to Jews and Protestants.

Eminent Poles have chosen to live mainly abroad: Paderewski (who became the first President of a reunited Poland after the First World War), Chopin, Marie Curie and Conrad, for example. Another was Adam Mickiewicz (1798 – 1855), the national poet, regarded as the Polish equivalent of Shakespeare.

Roman reminded us of the Molotov/Ribbentrop pact which led to the invasion of Poland by both Germany and Soviet Russia in 1939 and the outbreak of the Second World War. Russia had a detailed plan for deportations, starting with prominent leaders and ending with stamp collectors and Esperantists. (The latter two for their potential international connections.) At least 1 ½ million ended up in Gulags. By 1940, 15,000 Polish officers were missing. A Polish Government in Exile was set up, with General Sikorski as Prime Minister.

German invaded Russia in June 1941. In 1943 the site of a mass grave was found in Katyn Forest. Each country blamed the other, and Sikorski’s demand for an investigation by the International Committee of the Red Cross led to Stalin breaking off diplomatic relations with the Polish Government in Exile. It was not until 1990 that the Russian Government admitted responsibility

Many Poles escaped from Gulags and made their way to other countries, including Persia, India and East Africa.

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Roman rehearsed the contributions made by Polish forces to the Allied defeat of Nazi Germany. These included Intelligence (helping to solve the Enigma code); the North African campaign and the invasion of Italy (in both of which Roman’s father took part); the D Day landings and the operation at Arnhem. But there was no Polish contingent in the Victory Parade in London in 1946 – due to the implications of British recognition of the Communist Government of Poland set up after the Russian occupation of the country.

A graph displayed the huge rise in Polish people coming to the UK after Britain joined the EU. The ‘brain drain’ had dire consequences for Poland.

Poland remains a very religious country, with 98% being ‘believers’ and 58% attending church each week. Roman said a partial explanation was that being religious was a way of protesting against the Communist regime. Christmas is celebrated mainly on Christmas Eve, with a meal consisting of 12 courses (to match the 12 disciples). Crib competitions are held.

Roman ended with some cultural differences: wearing shoes indoors is not countenanced in Poland; ‘Wait’ on pedestrian signs means what it says; and Poles can’t understand the British predilection for saying, ‘Sorry’.

GT

[The Heart of England Way passes close to a memorial in Cannock Chase to 14,000 Polish officers and professionals murdered in Katyn Forest in 1940.]

Greece, its Land and Legends

On 10th January Jan King talked about Greece, covering its mythology, links between Greek and English and some of its ancient history.

Jan started her talk with a verse of Lord Byron expressing his love of the country with these words:

The isles of Greece! the isles of Greece Where burning Sappho loved and sung, Where grew the arts of war and peace, Where Delos rose, and Phoebus sprung! Eternal summer gilds them yet, But all, except their sun, is set.

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Illustrating her talk with views of Meteora, the Amalfi Coast and Delphi, Jan said that the land is beautiful. Its extraordinary coastline, with around 200 inhabited islands, means that Greek history and culture are very connected with the sea.

Also from the Greek language comes the roots of many familiar words. Graphos means to write (hence graphite pencil lead), monos means alone and archos means ruler (the roots of monarchy), bios means life and logos means word (both as in biology), ge means earth (as in geology), hydro means water, phonos means sound (as in microphone) and many more.

Jan explained that myths are stories which give an explanation for something, and legends are stories developed from a kernel of history. She gave examples of the myth of Ariadne and Athena and the legend of Theseus and the Minotaur.

In the Ariadne myth Arachne, a skilful weaver, boasts she is better than Athena herself but when Athena stages a competition she cannot live up to her boast. The goddess then turns Arachne into a spider for her presumption.

Delphi (where the oracle gave answers so convoluted that they could be read both ways and was therefore always right) Photo Tamara Semina CC BY-SA 3.0 0 from Wikipedia

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Theseus, an Athenian prince, volunteers to go to Crete as part of the tribute of seven youths and seven maidens sent to feed the minotaur, a human/bull monster. On Crete the princess Ariadne falls for Theseus and helps him to slay the minotaur and escape the labyrinth where it is kept. Theseus, Ariadne and the other young Athenians then escape in the black- sailed boat which had brought them to Crete (though Theseus dumps Ariadne on Naxos). Unfortunately Theseus forgets that his father had said to change the sails if he was returning alive, and his father, Ageus, throws himself into the Agean Sea. Jan showed this was a legend with a wall-painting found at Knossos on Crete of bull-leaping, which shows that there was a basis for the story in that the Minoans had trained young athletes to perform this feat (doubtless with many fatalities).

Picture credit Jebulon – from Wikipedia public domain copyright

Ancient Greece is a little later than the earliest civilisations in Egypt and Assyria. Its first major centres are Knossos (the Minoan civilisation) and Mycenae. At Mycenae today you can see the Lion Gate. This was the bronze-age city state of King Agamemnon who led the Greeks during the Trojan War. It was excavated by Heinrich Schliemann who claims to have found the golden death mask of the king. (These is some doubt as to whether it is genuine.) All finds should have belonged to the Greek Government, but Schliemann’s wife had a large shawl and several ended up in Berlin, though the mask is in Athens

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Lion Gate at Mycenae picture credit Andreas Trepte from Wikipedia Creative Commons - Share Alike licence

Jan explained that the Trojan Wars were actually about access to the Black Sea, which was the area where grain was grown at the time – not about the kidnap of Agamemnon’s sister-in-law Helen. The wars did however give rise to two important legends written up by Homer as the Iliad (which deals with the Siege of Troy) and the Odyssey (which deals with Odysseus’s return to Ithaca).

In the Iliad, after a 10 year siege, Odysseus proposes the trick of building the wooden horse in which Greek warriors can hide. Leaving the horse at the gates with a note saying it is a gift of Athena and the city which has it will never be taken, the Greeks pull back. The Trojans take in the horse so letting in Greeks who open the gates to let in their comrades and so Troy falls.

Odysseus has, though, offended the sea god, Poseidon, and in the Odyssey the god prevents his ship from returning to Ithaca for 10 years. Meanwhile Odysseus’s wife Penelope waits for him. She is pestered by suitors and puts them off by saying she will weave a shroud for her missing husband and only when it is finished will she remarry.

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At night she unravels work she has done to spin out the time. When the suitors find out, she then sets a test saying she will marry the man who can string her husband’s bow and shoot his arrow through 4 hoops. While the suitors struggle with the task, Odysseus finally gets back to Ithaca. Disguised as a beggar he first asks for a drink then asks if he can attempt the task. Of course, he succeeds; then he shoots the suitors.

Jan then told the meeting about the origins of the marathon race in the Persian empire’s attempt to invade Greece. The huge Persian army needed to go through a narrow mountain pass to get to Athens but it was defended by the Spartans, this allowed the Athenians to mass an army to meet the Persians. In the battle the Persians were out-flanked giving an unexpected victory to the Greek forces at Marathon. To take the news to Athens Pheidippides, a Greek soldier, ran with the message for 26 miles 386 yards and then died. This is the length of the modern marathon race. Byron’s Poem the Isles of Greece has this stanza about Marathon.

The mountains look on Marathon And Marathon looks on the sea; And musing there an hour alone, I dreamed that Greece might still be free; For standing on the Persians' grave, I could not deem myself a slave.

The ancient Olympic Games were a religious contest held at Olympia. Starting in 776 BC with running events – 150m sprints, they expanded in the 780s BC to include boxing, wrestling and field sports. The winners received just a laurel wreath but being an Olympic champion carried great social status, and competitor were prepared to die rather than give up. Jan showed slides of Greek vases illustrating the events and explained that runners ran naked (after a favourite tripped over a slipped loin cloth), that the long jump was from a standing start carrying weights which were swung to create momentum and that Milo a wrestling champion is said to have trained by carrying a calf and carrying on doing so as it grew bigger.

The modern Olympics date from 1896 and with women competing since 1900, when three took part in the croquet. The Winter games date from 1924.

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Greek vase painting showing the long jump by Carole Raddato from Frankfurt, Germany [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons)

There is a myth about the laurel tree which links it to running. Eros to tease Apollo has shot him with a golden arrow, making him fall in love with the maiden Daphne. However she shot Daphne with a lead arrow, making her wish to escape. She starts running (with Apollo in pursuit). She calls for help to her father, the river god Peneus, who responds by changing her into a laurel tree. Apollo’s dedication leads to the laurel being a symbol of the god’s favour.

Jan gave the names of the main Greek gods and goddesses with their Roman equivalents and told the myth of Persephone, daughter of Demeter the harvest goddess. Persephone was carried away to the underworld by Hades. Zeus tells Demeter that Persephone can return to the world provided she has not eaten in the underworld, but Persephone did eat three pomegranate seeds and so must return to the underworld for three months each year causing the winter season.

Jan’s final myth was about a competition between Poseidon, the sea god, and Athena to be the patron deity for Athens. Each tries to give an acceptable gift to the city. Poseidon strikes a rock creating a salt-water spring. While Athens gives the olive tree, which produced cooking and lighting oil in the ancient world and was the basis of the city’s riches.

Barbara Lister 15

Conspiracy Theories

Andy Thomas, who had previously talked to us about Crop Circles, bemused the General Meeting on 14 February. His illustrations of ‘conspiracy theories’ went back to the Roman Empire when Rome burnt while Nero, allegedly, played his lyre. Some people thought he had instigated the fire, so that he could rebuild the city.

Another fire, that of London in 1666, was attributed to a Popish plot, a theory fanned by Titus Oates who later admitted he had made it up.

Andy introduced us to the concepts of ‘Fourth Flag Manoeuvre’ (eg an attack on one’s own fleet, thus justifying retaliation); and the New World Order, alleged by conspiracy theorists to be secretly aiming at world government. In keeping with the latter, Arthur Balfour put to Theodore Roosevelt the idea of an Anglo-Saxon Confederation, to replace the declining British Empire.

The sinking of the Lusitania in 1915 has attracted conspiracy theorists. They cite Winston Churchill (then First lord of the Admiralty) stressing the importance of attracting neutral shipping to Britain ‘in the hope especially of embroiling the United Stated with Germany’ and question why the liner lacked a destroyer escort at the time of the attack by a U boat.

Also brought under suspicion is the attack on Pearl Harbour in 1941, the event that brought the USA into the war against Germany and Japan. Had Roosevelt and Churchill had prior warning that they failed to act on?

North Vietnamese torpedo boats firing on a US ship in the Gulf of Tonkin were the occasion of the US becoming more directly involved in the Vietnam War. But the second of the two incidents was later shown not to have happened.

Arguments still go on about who killed Kennedy. How many shots were fired, from where? Why did Ruby kill Oswald, the alleged murderer; and why was Ruby later found dead in his cell? Were Government agents involved?

A poll suggests that 25% of people don’t believe that US astronauts landed on the Moon. Some experts believe the photographs were doctored, or even faked.

Naturally, the death of Princess Diana has attracted controversy. Was the driver of the car really drunk? What should one make of her belief there was a plot to kill her?

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The ‘War on Terror’ was a reaction to 9/11. But there are architects and engineers who do not believe the three towers (one of which was not struck by a plane) could have collapsed the way they did without sabotage.

By the end of the illustrated talk, I felt disturbed: the foundation for my rational self was crumbling. What could we believe?

Andy had assured us, though, that he didn’t necessarily believe all the conspiracy theories himself. The moral, though, was not to take as gospel everything we were told. And in response to a question, he said he thought we were becoming better at exposing false explanations and that ‘a better world’ was in prospect.

GT

[You can look up Andy’s website: www.truthagenda.org]

Groups

Gardening Group

We had our inaugural meeting in October last year – not great timing given all our gardens were in hibernation, but sometimes one must just see what shoots may start peeping through

As ever we had quite a lot of initial interest by email. Having now met five times we appear to have a settled Group of about 10 ‘amateur’ gardeners (nobody in the group will admit to actually being quite proficient at gardening – must be some sort of gardener’s code!)

After our first few meetings where we shared problems, seeds, brochures, solutions and interests, we began to shape how we might spend 2018.

Not as easy as it sounds as everyone has his or her particular interests and gardening joy! This is borne out through Croydon’s U3A already having a group for visiting gardens and a new one looking at garden design.

Meeting on the first Monday of each month, we have agreed to include a range of activities where hopefully there will be something for everyone as well as a sense of trying to share the load of organising and hosting.

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So our 2018 highlights will include:

4 visits to our Group members’ gardens. This is optional for those who want to do this– but spreads the hosting task. Group members will offer a short tour of their garden and share something, which they have struggled with, or feel has been a particular success.

A visit to a nursery – hopefully a tour – stop press – this will be Coolings in April (other nurseries are available!)

A day of visiting two or three Yellow Garden entrants, which are in the same vicinity – hopefully asking the hosts to show us around.

A visit to a Garden nominated by a group member as having particular interest.

An allotment/garden rescue day – ie where the Group will offer to blitz a neighbour’s turf, which is getting beyond them. (Mind you, if we take this too seriously, the group may have a new vacancy or two!)

We’ve made a start! Many thanks, Geraldine, for getting us going!

Chris Saunders, Group Member

Singing For Pleasure

We performed at the U3A AGM last October, as the photo shows. At least we were all opening our mouths and looking at Gillian, which in itself is an accomplishment! Among the songs we performed were Amarillo, Shenandoah, O Waly, Waly, a Traditional Somerset Ballad, Mist Covered Mountains (an American Country song), Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka, and our absolute favourite, Buffalo Girls, another American country song – how we all loved this, didn’t we? Thanks Gillian, for your patience on this one. As you can see, we learn a varied mixture of music.

We have been invited to sing for the Parkinsons’ Group at Purley in October and we feel very pleased they would like us to perform for their members. A new programme of songs is in preparation. In the past few years we have twice be invited to sing a medley of songs at St John the Evangelist, and also entertained the Townswomen’s Guild.

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Two years ago, Gillian entered us into the Sutton Music Festival in, I think, the ‘Open Class’. On a very cold and wet November evening we all gathered in a Church at Sutton where various smartly dressed choir members were dashing around confidently laughing and chatting – whilst we sat nervously wondering what on earth we were doing there! We were ushered into a room to ‘warm up’ and from the next room we heard a group doing part of ‘our warm up! We listened while the other groups performed, getting more and more down-hearted but Gillian, in her usual cheerful way, bolstered us up.

In our section there were five entries and if I tell you we came equal fourth you will get the picture! The adjudicator was very encouraging and wrote on his report:

Your group sound was immediate and engaging. The words clear. The music is always understood. If this was your debut, you’ve got a promising future! Bravo! Peter Gritton

As Gillian explained at the AGM, we meet just twice a month.

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Of course, once the men started to brave the Group it made such a difference, giving depth and scope to our singing. Thanks to Gillian’s infinite patience and guidance we conquer some fairly difficult pieces [for us!], and although we are called Singing for Pleasure I am not sure that applies all of the time! It is HARD WORK at times – both for us and for Gillian. BUT we have fun most of the time in between the hard work, managing to laugh off our blunders – we are still far from perfect!

On behalf of the Group I would like to thank Gillian, who is a professional musician, singer and tutor, without whom we would not exist – she took us on when we were only a small band of about half a dozen or so. We wanted to sing but couldn’t find anyone to teach us and along came Gillian with her endless patience and humour, arranging pieces to suit our needs. I would also like to thank Hazel who is in charge of everything to do with the running of the Group. I took over these duties over when Hazel was ill a couple of years ago and I know how much is involved – and it is quite a task, so many thanks from us all Hazel for keeping the group running so smoothly.

I’ll leave you with the opening words of one of our new pieces which is sung to the tune of March Militaire. ‘We are the Choir and we’re here to sing for you, We are the Choir singing songs both old and new,………We are the choir and we’ll sing our best for you’.

Sue Gifford

Now over to Gillian who would like to add a few words.

I would like to add my appreciation to Hazel. Her invaluable support enables me to spend more time on researching and arranging new music for us to sing. We perform many styles with varying degrees of difficulty. But there is something for all! If you think you may enjoy singing in a mixed small group then come and see how you find us. You are more than welcome. We still have room for 1 soprano, 2 altos and 2 men (or lady tenors!) We meet twice a month on Wednesday mornings. We would also welcome an accompanist on the piano, who need not necessarily be expected to attend every rehearsal.

Please see contact details on the web-site.

Gillian B

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Radio 4 appreciation – a new Group for Croydon

Do you listen to Radio 4? Do you enjoy discussing the programmes?

The Radio 4 Appreciation Group will be meeting on the fourth Thursday of the month. Meetings will be about one and a half hour in duration, and will consist of listening to a 30-45 minute pre-recorded programme, making extensive use of the pause button to comment and discuss as the programme goes along.

There is a huge variety of programme genres that might interest the group, and possible programmes might include:

Start The Week Afternoon play File on 4 Desert Island Discs Great Lives Book of the Week The Museum of Curiosity Round Britain Quiz

Plus of course any suggestions that come from the group.

For addicts, there will be the opportunity to stay on an extra fifteen minutes at the end to discuss what’s new in Ambridge.

The first meeting of the group will be on Thursday April 26th.

Family History Group

For many years, people have been fascinated to learn about their ancestors and their lives. This interest has been re-kindled by television programmes such as Who Do You Think You Are and the Heir Hunters. It is an interesting and sometimes bewildering pastime. It can yield surprising results and uncover mysteries – the so-called skeleton in the cupboard.

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My Group meets once a month to start/continue their research into their families, mainly using data from ancestry.co.uk. There are many other websites with collections of data on line. Some will charge a subscription fee but a few are free to use.

There are dozens of flourishing Family History Societies across the country. For example, I belong to the East Surrey Family History Society, which regularly organises speakers on different topics and produces a magazine several times a year. There are also Family History magazines, giving hints and tips for your research, as well as articles on different professions. I have some back copies of these magazines, so if anyone would like them, please get in touch.

For a membership fee, you could also get expert advice from the Society of Genealogists.

A valuable source of information comes from the various on-line censuses. These have been taken every 10 years since 1841, except in 1941 during the Second World War. However unfortunately the 1911 census is the last one published. This gives details of every household in the UK with names, ages, occupation, place of birth etc. It is the most comprehensive providing information not gathered in previous censuses.

To get started all you need is basic information e.g. name, approximate age/ date of birth and place of birth. In theory the more information the better the results will be, as it will narrow down the search. Using references from ancestry.co.uk, some of our U3A members have ordered certificates for Births, Marriages and Deaths from the General Register Office (GRO) Certificate Services to further their investigations.

Our members often bring old documents and photographs which they have inherited to share with the Group and there is always excitement when someone discovers some new fact about their past.

The internet has transformed how people undertake their research but I think most enthusiasts would agree that there comes a time when you need to consider travelling to other parts of the UK and beyond.

Cariss Smith

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Creative Writing Group When I was a boy my uncle and auntie were not often invited round to our house although we were only 20 miles away.

Alan woke to the sound of his alarm clock. It was a bright, sunny morning and the gate to the car boot sale opened at 7.30.

Brian and Debbie had three children: John, then Sam and the youngest, Sally – about two years apart, and all very different.

Martyn Morgan opened the door to a frail, haunted-looking man. He seemed familiar, yet instinct and intellect told him it could not be.

Father O’Brian entered the church by the Presbytery door at 6 am.

Hercule Poirot was just trimming his moustache when his secretary, Miss Lemon, brought him the unwelcome news that Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard wanted to see him.

What do these opening sentences of short stories have in common? On the face of it, nothing. But they are all attempts by members of the Creative Writing Group to write on the theme, The Missing Picture.

Members choose a theme, or themes, for the next monthly meeting, bring their efforts along and read them. Elucidation, polite criticism, appreciation follow under the encouragement of Tove Lamb, the Group Leader. Tove has been running the Group for 25 years. One of the present members, Sheila Szzanowski, has been a member all that time.

What do members get out of the Group? Here is what they say.

I find it gives me an objective, and a bit of (gentle) pressure to produce something, along with it being a social occasion which I’m sure we all cherish as we get older, and our contacts inevitably become fewer. Lastly it is, of course, a form of mental/intellectual stimulation.

I appreciate Tove and her leadership and the stimulation I get from other members of the Group and learning from them.

I have been a member about 25 years and always enjoy the different but distinctive writing styles of the members …we get to know each other well.

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One of the great pleasures of the Group is the wide-ranging discussions that are sparked by the stories. It is also a constant delight to find the many different destinations we reach.

I find writing very difficult and it is a good exercise for me to develop my thinking ‘outside the box’ and to keep my brain alert. I try to have a twist at the end of each of my stories, but is can be very difficult to come up with an original idea. However, I keep trying.

I used to think I lacked imagination. The stimulation of the Group showed otherwise.

‘Stimulation’ is a common theme: putting your white matter under pressure to come up with something; delving into your memories; finding that your sub-conscious mind has come up with an idea; the pleasure of seeing the idea develop on paper or screen; chuckling inwardly at an amusing phrase or situation; finding you have created a character with saving graces; pointing a moral which means much to you.

Finally, words from Tove Lamb, the leader.

Arriving in Britain from Papua New Guinea in the late 70s, I was somewhat adrift, having just buried my husband following his sudden and untimely death in that remote but beautiful South Pacific island.  

A friend of mine introduced me to a U3A Philosophy Group which  he had helped to establish.  It was a meeting of like minds.  After this friend, Peter, left the United Kingdom, the Group no longer had the same appeal.

As an enthusiastic writer of travel articles which had been generally well received, it occurred to me that a creative writing group might be an idea for the Croydon branch of the U3A.  So, I set about organising and facilitating one in my own home and it has been going strong ever since.  We frequently lost valuable members, as one must expect in this age group.    However, some outstanding members with originality and creativity have continued to enrich my own life.

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At the beginning, it was the women who dominated the Group. Now the men hold their own.   It is fascinating for me to observe the individual writers’ progress and shifting stance over the years.  Though we meet only once a month, an understanding and rapport have developed.  Nevertheless, at the end of each session, there are always surprises......and that is what keeps the Group going.

In the early days, we had some real eccentrics!  One person, whom I took to be a woman was, in fact, a man.  Everyone else but me realised this!  Another turned out to be a distinguished diplomat, and I discovered this fact at his funeral.  Later, one of his sons presented a book of his poems to me. I had no idea that he was a poet - to me he was simply a good and original short story writer.

I can only recommend that, if you have a special interest or passion, use it within your local U3A and you will be surprised, and indeed pleased, to see how it germinates.

I have visited U3A Groups in several countries in the course of my travels and find that they are varied, using different methods to promote the essential U3A spirit of self-help.  Those who have something to pass on should do so to those who merely want to participate and be part of a congenial group.  We don’t all have the same talents, but we should be able to share those we have with the minimum of stress and coercion and in an enjoyable environment.

Long may the Croydon U3A Group prosper with help from its ever-increasing membership.

The Group

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Looking at London (Central)

On 12th January members of Looking at London (Central) visited the Resources Room at Croydon Local Archives. These photos show members looking at some of the directories, photos, maps and newspapers giving information about the borough.

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Current Affairs

Have you wished that you could have been on the panel or in the audience when an issue dear to your heart is being discussed on Question Time or similar programmes? If so, why not join a group that meets on the second Thursday of each month from 2pm to 3.45pm at Ruskin House, South Croydon, situated on the corner of Coombe Road and Park Lane.

At the start of each meeting we note the various topics which members wish to discuss. Where it is helpful a two minute introduction to the subject can be made, but this is rarely required. Sources for the issues raised are obtained from National and Local Newspapers and Radio programmes, BBC and Sky News, BBC Newsnight and articles from magazines, although many other sources are of course available.

As the Group has been meeting for several years, I won’t list all the subjects we have covered, but will give a flavour of some of the topics that have been raised, particularly over the last two/three years. Very often one discussion will lead into another as there are links between topics. We have yet to run out of issues to fill the afternoon!

NHS - funding, mental health, A&E, private sector, GPs.

Transport - private v nationalised railways, HSR2, Heathrow expansion, investment in roads.

Economy – Budgets, taxation in all its aspects, investments north v south of the country, poverty and the gap between the rich and the poor nationally and between individuals.

Women - equal pay, changing role over recent decades, the feminist movement.

Education – national and local league tables, Grammar schools.

Environment - climate change, recycling plastic and other materials, endangered species, International conferences.

Social care - funding, staffing, ageing population, care home provision and their standards.

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Research - Leukaemia recent potential break through, robots

Immigration - control of numbers. Government targets, humanitarian aspects, need for skilled workers.

Housing - social v private provision, Grenfell tragic event, funding for first time buyers.

Foreign Affairs – Trump Election, Middle East conflict, North/South Korea and European Elections.

I have not mentioned ‘Brexit’. Naturally this has been and will continue to be a major topic for discussion. Since the announcement of the referendum, through the campaign, the result and now during the negotiations it has divided opinions among the Group more than any previous topic. Overall the discussions are been well conducted, but on a very few occasions, naturally given the subject, strong views are expressed, but calm is soon restored!.

Finally, although when reading the topics you may conclude this is too serious for you, I want to stress we all enjoy the meetings, where we listen to other points of view with humour and friendship. Knowing the Group as I do, they would not turn up each month if they did not enjoy it.

Barry Gifford, Chairman

Creative writing

The VIP’s Visit

It was just another routine day for the City Mayor as he opened his morning post. One letter stood out. The Government authorities were planning a visit by a very prominent politician much later in the year and he was asked to take charge of all the preparations. ‘Goodness!’ he thought, ‘this will take some organising and it's all down to me.’  The VIP would be flying in, then driven from the airport to be paraded through the city. He and his party would then travel on to another location to host a dinner that night for the great and the good.

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The Mayor began to sketch out a to-do list:

1. Transport to and from the airport and through the city.

2. Crowd control.

3. Security - police to be notified. (The visit to be kept strictly 'under wraps' for several months.)

4. Wet-weather arrangements.

5. Catering for the crowds.

6. Local traders to be pre-warned - extra crowds would mean extra business for them.

7. Logistics, press notices, timings and traffic control.

8. Finally, set up a committee to which he could safely delegate certain matters

There were probably a host of other things he had overlooked. ‘Well, well,’ he thought, ‘this could be the making of me: possibly a bunk-up into politics; who knows?’

During the next few months everything proceeded smoothly. He'd set up his committee, which reported to him personally every week with an update. Nothing had been left to chance - it was going like clockwork. ‘It'll be a fantastic and truly memorable day - a real feather in our cap for this fine city of ours,’ he thought to himself. It was certainly memorable.

The great day dawned at last. The aircraft would soon be on its way, the streets were cleared of parked vehicles, and crowds were gathering already in eager anticipation of seeing the VIP they had only seen on television. The Mayor sat down to relax for the first time in days with his morning coffee and to compose his thoughts. He switched on the radio for the weather forecast: it would be absolutely perfect - a dry, sunny and crisp autumn day - confirmed by that day's newspaper, the Dallas Morning News for Friday 22nd November 1963. 

Colin Read

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Care of Fuschias (in pots)

In springtime spray the plants with tepid water every other day to soften the wood and encourage young pink shoots to form. Just give enough tepid water to maintain the sap in the stem. Do not overdo it, as the inactive roots cannot cope with excessive moisture.

Cut out all weak and spindly growth and branches that cross each other. Then prune back to pairs of pink eyes on remaining branches. Repot if essential after new shoots have formed two pairs of leaves. Do not do these jobs at same time as it will give the plants two set-backs instead of one.

When two or three pairs of leaves have formed, nip out the top shoot. More sideshoots will appear in the leaf axils. When these have got two or three pairs of leaves repeat the same procedure. Turn the pot every other day if you want a good shaped bush.

This should take you into May. At the same time start to feed, and increase watering when needed. Put outside when fear of frost has past - about June.

Repot into one size up as plants grow in size. Do not shake off the soil around the root ball, and moisten the soil first. They will need a feeding programme to begin with as well. They will need some shade in very hot weather and much more water with a foliar type, at the same time following instructions given on products.

In October lift and repot into suitable size pots and ease off watering. If any plants are in the greenhouse, put outside to ripen the wood. Plants will then withstand the rigours of winter much better, and soft, sappy growth will die off. Lower leaves will start to turn yellow at this time of year - this indicates that the plants want to rest. Trim off top growth. Then trim and start to shape up again for the spring.

Plant foods to use are CHEMPAK 2&3 or any other products that can be used when watering.

Rosemary Roberts

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British Values

Any attempt to pin down and define a set of basic British values is bound to falter in the face of semantics and individual viewpoints. Those official totems quoted by the Home Office and in the schools: Democracy; The Rule of Law; Liberty; and Mutual Respect (and Tolerance of those with Different Faiths and Beliefs) – are largely abstractions hallowed above the heads of citizens as part of a collective covenant which all should aspire to keep. At the personal and individual level those human values which are most closely guarded and cherished are a set of much more concrete notions – fair play; honesty (and an abhorrence of corruption); justice (as a matter of faith); free speech; and (most important of all) a sense of humour – this last being the great emollient and lubricator of all social and commercial dealings, the great prism through which all our ills and trials are refracted. Together they make up a kind of intangible cultural heritage, honoured in its day-to-day observance and contemned in its breach.

The heritage we are heirs to is born of the harsh abrasions of temper and temperament that characterise the settled relations between the diverse inhabitants of the British Isles. Thus, Anglo-Saxon phlegm and Norman gentility are challenged and stirred by Celtic passion and imagination, for it is the Irish, Scots and Welsh who provide the leaven for the English loaf to rise. Above all, it is the armoury and mantle of the English language in all its pomp and pith - invested as it is with the expressive suppleness of many cultures - that move us to certain decision and action. For nobody will do anything in life until and unless he or she sees the need to do it, invariably prompted and persuaded by the power of language. It is the chief instrument of British ‘soft power’ in the world and, when lifted from its lawyerly trances and directed to the unambiguous and good, the British pen does indeed become, as Cervantes put it, ‘the tongue of the soul’.

The swelling of the population with migrants from all corners of the world has given rise to the notion of ‘multi-culturalism’ - an awkward construct coined in an attempt to acknowledge and support the several distinct cultural traditions and belief systems in our society – when simple ‘pluralism’ would quite adequately cover the existence and tolerance of these differences.

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In many ways, the UK is a microcosm of the future in its adaptation to diversity as an imperative of the coming world order. As one of the world’s oldest democracies with a culture rooted in the common law, neighbourliness and an international outlook, it naturally embraces all comers.

There is a misplaced concern that somehow this cultural pluralism will involve the sacrifice of particular groups’ identities, including that of the host culture. What is more, there seems to be an official preoccupation with avoiding any suggestion that the host’s cultural community values are central. The State need not worry, for it is in the real world of human contact and inter-action between strangers – in the new community centres which the churches and the mosques have become – that the hopes and fears of all in our society may be met and the many artificial differences between us reconciled. The ‘Big Society’ is us.

Barnaby Powell

Maoi and mystery – Easter Island

We all know what mystery is, but you might be wondering about maoi.

I’m just back from Easter Island (Rapa Nui) which, as you probably know, is very remote, lying in the Pacific 1,150 miles from the nearest inhabited island and 2,182 miles from the nearest mainland, Chile.

It’s very small, approximately 14 x 11 x 9 miles, but surprisingly, quite accessible, There are flights every day from Santiago in Chile, or less frequently from Tahiti, if that suits you better. It’s five hours on a large plane, which, somewhat incongruously, is able to land on this tiny island, as NASA kindly built a very long runway in 1987 in case they had to land a space shuttle there. Shame they didn't build larger airport buildings.....

At last census in 2017, the island had a population of 7,750 humans and about 9,000 horses. They are everywhere and are the major cause of road accidents. I’m talking about the horses, not the humans. (Actually, one could argue with that.)

So what are moai? Pronounced mo-eye, there are approximately 900 of them on Easter Island, in different stages of carving, in varying styles and scattered across the island. They are the huge statues, some with red topknots (pukao), which have intrigued explorers and visitors for centuries

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The moai quarry, Rano Raraku, is one of the most extraordinary archaeological sites on the planet. In this magical place, the moai were carved before being transported all around the island. How they were transported is a mystery with various theories being posited, but no conclusions reached.

The moai at Tongariki, Easter Island. Photo by Margaret Derrick

So, why did they carve them, and why did they stop? People arrived on Easter Island from Polynesia about 1200 and some of the more crudely carved statues date from that time. The moai are thought to embody the spirits and energy (mana) of the ancestors and were always erected facing the village, to protect the inhabitants, not facing towards the sea, as is commonly thought. As the death of the particular ancestor receded from memory, the mana was considered to become weaker, and the islanders were less likely to re-erect the statue if it fell down.

They often re-used the stone from broken maoi in the base of the platform (ahu) on which they erected new maoi. The style of carving gradually developed and the statues got bigger and the features more refined until about 1720, when the first Europeans arrived.

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With them came Christian missionaries and disease, the first changing the spirituality of the inhabitants and the second decimating their numbers. Further depopulation was caused by the Chileans transporting many of the inhabitants to the mainland as slaves.

Easter Island has often been presented as a metaphor for our planet – a story of people in a lush and productive land, enjoying its bounty, prospering, developing, and then descending into warfare as resources became scarce. Their art and culture also developed to a level which was unsupportable. As the moai became larger, the time and expertise taken to carve them threatened the fragile societal structure. A master carver often took a year to carve a statue, during which time he was supported by the non-carvers.

Towards the end of the statue-carving era, another custom developed. Out of a complex hierarchical system came the birdman cult, in which men from the upper strata of society were selected in some mysterious manner as contestants. These men then appointed hopu (men of lesser status) who clambered down a steep and difficult cliff, swam to a nearby islet, collected the first sooty tern egg of the season, swam back with the egg in a reed basket on their head, shinned up the cliff and presented the unbroken egg to the “king”. The whole operation could take days, maybe even weeks, as they had to wait for the very first egg. I lost track of quite what and why, but it seems that the winner (the chosen man of high status, not the actual swimmer) was feted and fed by everyone, while many of the swimmers died.

Today, the maoi are protected from tourists by wooden fences, wardens and a system of punitive fines for touching. Easter Island is a thriving dependency of Chile, relying on tourism for its livelihood.

The inhabitants all live in Hanga Roa, the capital, where they have electricity and water, a hospital, schools, churches and a few shops. Regular, but not frequent, ships from the mainland bring large goods whilst perishables are airlifted in. Many foreigners have settled there, but neither they nor Chilean mainlanders are able to buy land. Some rapanui, as the inhabitants call themselves, want independence, but it is difficult to see how they could sustain themselves.

Margaret Derrick

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Davidson Lodge Travelling up to London Bridge, soon after leaving East Croydon station, you can see on the right through a privet hedge what appear to be Victorian alms-houses. Closer inspection, at the end of the cul de sac, Freemasons Road, shows a long building in red brick, patterned with darker bricks in Tudor style. Numerous doors indicate separate dwellings. The building was opened in 1850 as an Asylum for “Worthy, Aged and Decayed Freemasons”. (Can you imagine such a title today?) The £10,000 needed had been raised by Freemasons.

It was designed by S M Dawkes, not a well-known Victorian architect, but responsible for churches, railway stations and Colney Hatch Lunatic Asylum. At the time that the Freemasons were raising money for the building, the Poor Law Act of 1834 was passed, leading to the erection of 550 workhouses in England and Wales. A decorative, Tudor style may have been chosen to distinguish the building from the plain style of most workhouses. And the use of the word, ‘worthy’ in the fund-raising campaign, also distinguished the inmates from the poor of the workhouses.

The consecration of the Asylum took place in August 1850, followed by a ‘déjeuner’ for 300 guests served in tents in the grounds. Day to day management was entrusted to a Warden elected by the ‘inmates’. One of his duties was to bring any bad behaviour to the attention of the governing Committee. There were other rules, such as attending church, and not marrying without the consent of the Committee.

There were entertainments and an Annual Dinner. That in 1899 was attended by ‘a large number of ladies and brethren’; and the inmates were given knitted socks, tea, sugar, tobacco and whisky.

Wards Croydon Directory for 1890 lists the inhabitants as 6 married couples, 17 widows and only 4 single men (or widowers). What was life really like? No doubt the accommodation was cramped, and the situation, near the railway, was not salubrious. But evidently efforts were made to enliven the lives of the inmates. And they would have been much better off than the poor of workhouses.

The Asylum was the first of 17 homes for ‘aged and distressed brethren and widows’ run by the Royal Masonic Benevolent Institution.

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By 1950 the building was too small for the number of Freemasons seeking accommodation, and the residents were moved to Hove. Croydon Council bought the premises for use as an old people’s home. In 1956 it was re-opened and named Davidson Lodge. By 1973 the Lodge was in a poor state. It was granted a Grade II listing, which prevented demolition. The accommodation was improved in 1981 and converted to 36 bed-sits. Age Concern took over, and subsequently Croydon Neighbourhood Care.

For almost the first 100 years of its life, steam locomotives would have puffed and snorted past the ‘asylum’, no doubt leaving smuts in their wake. I wonder if some of the “worthy, aged and decayed” Freemasons were train spotters?

Gordon Thynne

[Acknowledgments to the Freemasons Library and Museum News, and thanks to Croydon Library]

A senior moment

Our flight was delayed returning to Gatwick. We arrived after midnight, forcing us to get a train to East Croydon rather than to Purley and then local transport.

At East Croydon we discovered that the only bus realistically available was the 407 to Caterham. Imagine our surprise on boarding the bus to be told that there were no buses to Purley that night in view of the Bourne River having emerged and seriously flooded the area.

However, all was not lost. The relief driver then explained that he would be diverting via Sanderstead which suggested to us that we might be able to walk home from a local bus stop after all. But, there was a snag, he was under strict instructions not to stop between South Croydon and his Caterham destination. I tried bribery, which made the situation worse. Then, we had a breakthrough. Although he was a stranger to the area, as a friendly gesture he would stop at a Sanderstead bus stop! With a great deal of relief we sat back on the seats clasping our heavy suitcases.

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The bus driver was in a hurry and sped along not stopping anywhere. All too soon we got to Sanderstead. Regrettably, it went past our stop before we managed to alert him, but we did manage to get him (somewhat reluctantly) to allow us to make a hurried exit from the vehicle.

I grabbed the nearest case to me and we both alighted and watched the bus speeding away. What a stroke of good luck, as we were minutes from home and didn’t need to call a taxi. But all too soon: disaster! I realised that that whilst I had grabbed my partner’s case, she hadn’t reciprocated. After the usual recriminations we realised that we needed to get to the house and then drive the car after the bus.

Although it must have been only a few minutes, we didn’t manage to catch the bus up and we arrived at its Caterham destination in some panic. No bus was there but we then spotted a bus with no internal lights on, travelling in the opposite direction to us.

We were aware that it may not have been our bus and that the depot was some distance away at Epsom, but gave chase, flashing the driver with our headlights.

He didn’t seem to notice and, if anything, seemed to be driving faster. After a couple of miles we seized the initiative and finally managed to overtake him. I somewhat foolhardily swung the car to completely block the road.

The driver seemed reluctant to open his door. Perhaps our action had suggested a highjack? What a relief it was then to gain access to the bus and find it did have our case on board.

Ignoring the cars and somewhat annoyed drivers we had held up, we thankfully drove home and had a relaxing cup of tea before retiring to bed, albeit to a very short night’s sleep.

Glenn Morfill

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Dear Mr (Ms?) Burglar,

Sorry to have missed you! We could have had a nice cup of tea whilst you told me – confidentially – how you got into this business. A shame you had to smash a window. The crime scene chap said you were wearing gloves, so no doubt you avoided cuts. Thank you for not leaving footprints. Did you take your shoes off?

I’m relieved that you were not interested in my computer – thoughtful of you. It seems that you made a beeline for the bedrooms. Why on earth did you get down the picnic basket? I wouldn’t have been foolish enough to stow any £500 notes there. It was thoughtful of you to draw the curtains so that neighbours wouldn’t be disturbed by the sight of a stranger playing Hunt the Treasure.

But I’m afraid I have to take you to task for the manner of your search of our front bedroom. Didn’t your mother teach you to be tidy? It was as though someone had tipped up the contents of bags left at a charity shop. Just as well my wife and I are not cross dressers – at least when we got down to it (literally) we could differentiate ‘his and hers’. My wife is pleased you uncovered cardigans and scarves she had forgotten about.

You seemed to have brought a load of spare keys with you. Otherwise how do I account for the number of unlabelled keys strewn on the floor with passports (old and new), pre-decimal coins, clothes of all descriptions, wallet (thanks for just taking the money, not the credit cards) and – well – jumble?

A shame you didn’t take with you the rubber plant from the spare bedroom. It’s an embarrassment, and needs a good home.

My wife is sorry she didn’t go in for expensive jewellery – you must have been disappointed. And, no, I don’t stash valuables under the pillow. We would, though, like to have her engagement ring back – sapphire and two diamonds, remember? Just pop it through the letter box in a plain envelope – no questions asked.

I’m glad you had no difficulty getting round the back. I must, though, get a more secure side gate fitted. Don’t call again soon.

Yours respectfully,

‘An English man’s home is his castle’ householder.

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