Creative Workshop October 12-13 Herschell Gordon Lewis
Creative WorkshopOctober 12-13
Herschell Gordon Lewis
A couple of preliminary
points…
Part One:
Wordshave
octane.
There are many options
open to the genuine “creative” individual.
Uh-oh!
The writeralways
has a stronger wayto begin
a sales argumentthan the neutral phrase
“There is…”or
“There are….”
If Michelangelo were painting today…
Historically,where are
we?
Fourthgenerationmusings…
In a recent catalog:
In a recent catalog:
And 10 years from now…?
Trends for the second half of the second decade of the 21st
century:1.Increasing informality2.Increasingly emphatic
persuasion3.Inclusion of validation4.Promise of fast action
A universal reaction:
“I want it NOW.”
Primitive but a good “pitch” because it builds around
immediacy:
In sync with the
medium and
21st centur
y trends
Click brings
up this…still in sync
with the medium and 21st century trends
Interesting study.
Note who issued it.
When you see this color screen, it’s for aQuick hands-on.
Please participate. What happens here
stays here.
Sorry, you won’t hear them during this
diatribe:• Paradigm• Proactive• Win-win• Game plan• 24/7• Fast track• Customer-
centric
• At the end of the day
• Core competency• Think outside the
box• Knowledge-based• On the same
page
Specifics outpull generalizations.
Remember that if you’re asked to write a sample piece of copy.
(You will be, in two minutes.)
Take a look at the two most
famous advertisements
of all time … both are direct
response:
Written in 1926…still much imitated today:•They grinned when the waiter spoke to me in French•They laughed when I told them how I beat stress•They laughed when I said I’d lose weightHundreds of others
Could you match this famous ad that ran for 45 years?
Let’s look at the
power of one minor
word:
If These Mistakeshad been This Mistake
the power would have beena fraction of what it was.
Why?
Why would anyone bother reading
beyond thenonspecific headlines?
You can write better
wording than that.
“There are many
reasons America’s leading
companies choose our
Direct Response
solutions” is student-level
copy.Rewrite to
add strength.
Why is this email less effectivethan it might be?
An absolute rule of force-
communication:One specific
example brings more response
than ten generalizations.
Avoid these words in force-communication
messages:• quality• service• value• needs (as noun)
• “Remember,”
• What’s more
• Your partner in…
• When it comes to…
Please, please:Never again write
“blah” phrases such as…
• Act now.• See your Toyota dealer today.
• Southwest Airlines means business.
Impact increases with apparent warmth.
Example: start withBye now.
Move up slightly toSee you soon.
Even what appears to be an insignificant
change to a question increases impact.
ConvertSee you soon.
toSee you soon?
Personalization adds an emotional overtone:See you soon.
becomesI hope we’ll get together again
soon.
Combining personalization with a question forces a
reaction:I hope we’ll get together again
soon.doesn’t begin to compete in
potency againstWill we get together
again soon?
Inclusion reduces the possibility of rejection.
Example – replacingI’d like us to get together again
soon.with
We’ll get together again soon.
(Would this as a question be stronger? or weaker?)
Can you relate those simple
examples to an analysis of your salesmanship in direct response
copy?
Would you have
wasted the expense
and opportunity to reach commercia
l customers
as this bank did?
Quick hands-on:Write a headline to
replace…Commitment.It’s all in our
approach.
You know why we should NEVER slide
through word-choices without considering
whether even slightly different wording might have greater fractional
impact:RESPONSE.
What is the differencebetween
3and
three?
What is a more emotional word or
phrase than:• commence• utilize• omit• receive• we would like
to• large• you incur no
risk• circular• donate
• purchase• fortunate• requested• I write
concerning• we shall• error• perhaps• however• humorous
What is the difference between:
• autumn and fall• at last and
finally• sexy and
sensual• nude and
naked• made and
manufactured• manufactured
by and built by
• right now and at once
• reply and respond
• insincere and not sincere
• eager and anxious
• audience and viewers
• died and passed away
Note the difference in thrust, impact, and (vital
for us) selling power:“One in five Americans will experience identity
theft.”versus
“One in five people will be hit with identity theft.”
Shift to active voice and watch as muscle
skyrockets:“One in five Americans will be hit with identity
theft.”versus
“Identity theft will smash into the lives of one in
five Americans.”
What is the differencebetween
lifetime guarantee
andguaranteed for twenty years
?
What is the differencebetween
guaranteed for twenty years
andguaranteed for
20 years?
Spelling out a word adds dignity, formality, and importance. It
also may add distance between writer and reader. So choose based on the circumstance:
Mt. Olympus Mount Olympus
Ft. Lauderdale Fort Lauderdale
St. Jude Saint JudeDr. Smith Doctor SmithMr. Brown Mister BrownNo. 1 Number one
Match words to thespecific demographic
you’re wooing:
inexpensive
cheap
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:Incorrect
Wrong
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“The senator declined to
comment.”“The senator declined to
answer.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“The senator declined to
answer.”“The senator refused to
answer.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“The thing is…”
“Get this.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“For the experienced
tourist.”“For the sophisticated
traveler.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“We killed the competition.”
“We destroyed the competition.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“We killed the competition.”
“We murdered the competition.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“It doesn’t work.”
“It just ain’t working.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“She’s a vice-president
of the agency.”“She’s vice-president of
the agency.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“Can you help us?”“Will you help us?”
Do you recognize the huge difference between
“Can you” and “Will you”?
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“If you order now, you’ll
get…”“Order now and you’ll
get…”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“You pay much less.”
“Others pay much more.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:Trousers
Pants
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:Tighten your tummy.Get rid of that gut.
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“We’ll even pay the
shipping costs.”“We’ll pay the shipping
costs.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“We’ll pay the shipping
costs.”“Free shipping.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“They’ll keep your feet
toasty warm.”“They’ll keep your toes
toasty warm.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“He kissed her on the
lips.”“He kissed her on the
mouth.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“Attention, seniors: We are conducting a clinical
trial for…”“Attention, seniors: A
research organization is conducting a clinical
trial for…”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“We lost the game.”“We blew the game.”
Quick hands-on:Suggest a more
dynamic replacement for:
“A reply from you would be
appreciated.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“A reply from you would
be appreciated.”“We really do want your
reaction.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“The workshop will be
presented in your area.”“The workshop is in
your own town.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“In the event of your
death...”“If you should die....”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“Just $24.95 per
month.”“Just $24.95 a month.”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“As the owner of a small
business, you...”“Is yours a family-owned
business? Then...”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“Is there a problem with...?”
“Do you have a problem with...?”
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:$250,000
A quarter of a million dollars
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:Illegal immigrant
Undocumented alien
Word use:Replace… with…must have toamong one ofutilize useperhaps maybebuy acquirepurchase ownspendallocatereceive get
YOUR hand is on the trigger.
Don’t fire blanks.
An easy and obvious litmus test for
both envelope copy and e-mail subject line:Does it grab
and is itrelevant?
Relevance is as easy as this:
Amateurish, not good grammar… but suggests personal and easy
reading
The enclosur
e… What
are the pros and cons of
this approac
h?
What image
does this offer
conjure up?
Positive or
negative?
Aimed at not-for-profit
groups. What would
you have, as a
clearer message?
Punctuation makes a huge difference:
• Money to invest• or…• Money to invest?
Quick hands-on:Suggest a more
salesworthy replacement for:
“You can complete your Application
Formin less than one
minute.”
Did you replace the word “Application” to
read… “You can complete
your Acceptance Form
in less than one minute”?
Now, make it a tad more convivial by
replacing one other word.
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“You can complete your
Acceptance Formin less than one
minute.”
“You can complete your Acceptance Form
in less than a minute.”
BUT NEVER DRAW A COSMIC CONCLUSION.
In many situationsyou may prefer “one” to
“a”because
“one” is definiteand
“a” is indefinite.
Superiority of the definite over the
indefinite:
•“The gem in each earring is a full carat.”• “The gem in each earring is one full carat.”
The “Emotion over Intellect” Rule:
When emotion and intellect come into
conflict, emotion always wins.
The significance of this rule:An emotion-based sales argument will outsell an
intellect-based sales argument.
The three bases of success in direct response writing
1.Verisimilitude2.Clarity3.Benefit
Quick hands-on:How would you add
verisimilitude to this email?
Which of these
brought the most response
?
Benefit inforce-communication:
not, "What will it do?"
but, "What will it do for
me?"
If you take nothing else away from this
workshop, remember this:
Imperativeoutpulls
declarative.
Phony pitch (car came
with 5-year warranty) …
but cold imperative tone makes it credible to some.
What is wrong with this
email?
The Law of Tenses:
Present tense outsells future tense because
the present is now, and your prospect wants
benefits now.
Present tense is more relevant than either future tense or past
tense. Use past tense to establish a historical
base. Use present tense to establish
position.
"If you think that..." is a more potent opening
than "If you thought that..." because
present tense implies an immediate change of current attitude; past tense suggests
that whatever follows will be a revision of
history.
Tying future to present tells the reader:
"This will be for all eternity."
Compare the meanings of these two approaches:
This is the seventh notification we've sent you. It's the last
one.or...
This is the seventh notification we've sent you. It will be the
last one.
Emotion outsells Intellect...
Benefits are more emotional than
features...So benefits outsell
features.
Whenis superior to Iffor suggesting
something will happen.If
is superior to Whenfor suggesting
something will not happen.
The Generic Determination Rule:
The generic determines reaction more than the numbers.
More LessHalf a quart One pintHalf a kilo 500 gramsOne hour 60 minutesOne day 24 hoursOne month 30 daysOne mile 5,280 feetHalf a pound 8 ounces
Hands-on practice:Rewrite this statement
for greater power:We’ll ship your order the next day, and it’s
guaranteed for 30 days.
The Chronology Rule:When chronology is within
the experiential background of the message recipient, number of years is a more powerful selling weapon
than dates.So in the year 2013:
"A history of success since 2003" is weaker than...
"A solid 10-year history of success." Why?
Information optimizing:
Directing or changing the reader’s or
viewer’s or listener’s perception without changing the facts.
Information optimizing…
When should you useasterisks
(*)in selling copy?
Information optimizing…
When should you useasterisks
(*)in selling copy?
Never.
“The Asterisk Exception”:
A reader automatically anticipates a negative result from an asterisk
in either heading or text.
If you are announcing a positive, DO NOT use
an asterisk.
The five types of comparatives:
• We’re better than they are.
• Unlike so-called competitors who…
• We’re the greatest.• We were marvelous before, and now we’re even better.
• Intended to sell for x-amount … yours for y-amount.
Hands-on practice:Write a comparative
claim other than “We’re better than they are” for the organization you
represent.
Information optimizing…
Parity Advertising:The statement seems to
imply superiority but actually only claims parity... "No bank
pays higher interest"; Nobody sells for less"; "We'll
meet any discount price."
Hands-on practice:Write a “Parity”
statement for the organization you
represent.
Information optimizing…
Opening a question with a positive statement directs
the answer:“This is what you want, isn’t
it?”is more likely to generate a
positive reaction than“Is this what you want?”
Information optimizing…
The“Restoration/Preservation”
Rule:When promoting
personal improvement products,
restoration outpulls preservation.
Why?
The three components of successful force-
communication:1.Basic psychology2.Vocabulary suppression3.Salesmanship equivalent
to that of a vacuum cleaner salesman in a department store
Two ads, same advertiser.Which has both clarity and
impact?
One of these pulled more than twice the response of the other. Which one? Why?
Is this the
optimal way to contact
cold lists via
email?(Mice-type is below
here. On original,
you would scroll
down to see)
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This legend is in mice-type below the Gift
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Peculiar follow-up. Would you enter
information?
Standard email offer.Click and…
This appears.But within two seconds…
This blocks out the image.Your opinion: More response, or less?
Part Two:
The Great Laws and
the overriding Commandmen
t
The First Great Law:
Reach and influence,at the lowest possible cost,
the most peoplewho can and should
respond.
They need a course
in merge-purge. They
are my carrier.
Mailing to a business prospect
Does this “reach”? Or turn off?
What makes the wording of
this ad superior as
a commercial message?Disturbing specifics
The Second Great Law:
In this Age of Skepticism,cleverness
for the sake of cleverness
may well be a liability,rather than an asset.
Playing with a play on words can result in a considerably lower response than a clear offer.
When copy is
“straight” and
photo is “cute”
the mismatc
h damages impact.
Clever?Full-page
ad in a marketin
gmagazine
. What does this advertise
r do?Are you
inspired?
The Third Great Law:
E2 = 0
The Fourth Great Law:
Tell your target-individual
what to do.
TELL YOURTARGET-
INDIVIDUALWHAT
TODO.
Suggest a
graphic, a
headline and a first
sentence that clarify what this
company does
Suggest agraphic, a headline and a first sentence
that clarify
what this company
does
Suggest agraphic, a headline and a first sentence
that might
convince a
marketer to contact
you.
Suggest a
graphic, a
headline and a first
sentence that
clarify what this company
does
Full-page ad in a direct
response magazine.Question: What does
this company
do?
Finding out isn’t
easy. This
appears on a
jump-page in
their website
:
If you were the
marketing director,
what would you
have in your ad in
a trade magazine?
If you were the
marketing director,
what would
have been your key selling
argument in this
trade ad?
REPEAT: You know this,from your personal lifeand as a professional
communicator:Imperative
outpullsdeclarative.
Be the voiceof authority.
(Careful!Don’t let
imperativeslide into
arrogance.)
Opinion on imperious tone?
Note key “grabber” words such as RISK and
VIOLATION and WE MUST RECEIVE
Clever – name and address apparently are on a sticker but actually are surprinted
Attention spans are short.BEWARE
ofThe Bore/Snore
Effect.
Does your illustration motivate, or is it just pretty? BORE/SNORE.
Do you deal in specifics or just generalities?
BORE/SNORE.
Are you a professor, not a dynamic salesperson?
BORE/SNORE.
Are you hung up in your sense of dignity? BORE/SNORE.
Do you ramble on endlessly, slow to get to the point? BORE/SNORE.
Do you put them quietlyto sleep? BORE/SNORE.
(SIPA just merged with Software & Information Industry Association (SIIA) (Huh?)
Replace BORE/SNORE with the Dale
Carnegie/Sally Field Declaration: “You
likeme.”
The Clarity Commandment:
When you choose words and phrases for
force-communication,clarity is paramount.
Don’t let any other component of the
communications mix interfere with it.
Word sequenceand spacingaffect clarity.DON’T EVER
violateThe Clarity
Commandment.An example…
The email on the left pulled 84% better. Why? Greater
clarity.
Attention spans are short, and
quick negative
reactions are common.
Would you want four
people looking down
at you?
Can you see how these – 4 pages apart in the same catalog – violate
the Clarity Commandment?
What would you have done to add clarity, without eliminating either
product?
What is the
point…and themeaning
… of the
brackets in the
headline?
OK, I’ll buy.
Uhhh…What
are you selling?
When you
promise “How to…”
quickly explain “How to”..or
risk confusion
.
The answer is “pretty
straight-forward”
?Not if the thrust is
“We” instead
of “You.”
You say, “Let’s talk
simple.” Well, OK, but what are we talking about? Clarify, please.
Word sequence can have a profound effect
on clarity• Half roasted chicken• Roasted half chicken• Roasted chicken half• Roast chicken half• Half a roast chicken• (and hyphens may
help clarify:Chicken-half,
roasted)
Nobody likes the
post office…but this
is a superior
ad.What
makes it superior?
Cleverness without clarity violates both the Second
Great Law and the Clarity
Command.
(They sellemail
personalizing… tracking … and spam
filter control)
• Rewrite for clarity and
response.
What makes
thisan
effective
message?
Clever wording that adds
clarity is the height of copy
skill.
A tip:For clarity,
When listing two parallel items, and one has a
qualifier, list the one without the qualifier first. Example:
helps you diet and quit smoking ...
NOThelps you quit smoking
and diet
Anexpiration datealmost always
improves response.
Tip: “Midnight Saturday, October 12”
will outpull“Saturday, October
12.”
“Learn” and “Earn” are two seemingly
harmless words that suggest a ghastly four-
letter word:
W-O-R-K.Can you suggest
alternatives?
The five great motivators:
•Fear•Exclusivity•Greed•Guilt•Need for approval
“Soft” motivators:
Convenienceand
Pleasure
Motivator forfund raisers,
extremist organization:
Anger
Note the potent trigger-word.
Possibleadditional motivators
as the 21st centuryevolves:
EnvyStatus
(Does status differfrom exclusivity?)
Hands-on practice:For a product with
which you’re associated, create the headline for a space ad using one of the Five
Great Motivators.Then create a second
headline using another of those Motivators.
The Consistency Command:
Components of an advertisement, a mailing,
or an email message should reinforce and
validate one another, or reader/viewer/listener
response to all components
will be reduced.
The Rule ofNegative Subtlety:
The effectiveness of a direct response message whose
purpose is to sell something
decreases in direct ratio
to an increase in subtlety.
First Sub-rule ofNegative Subtlety:
A sales argument loses impact in direct ratio
to an increase in subtlety.
A nasty developmentin the
“R-rated”non-culture of
communication:“In your face”advertising
Getting attention
is not parallel to
getting favorable attention.
If you’re a purchasing agent, aren’t you uncomfortable
dealing with this company?
Sophomoric?
This adran inVanityFair.
This adran in
CustomerInteractio
nSolutions.
What are the pros and cons
of this approach
to attention-getting?
My sentiments exactly.
The two-page ad in entirety. Your opinion?
Hands-on practice:Suggest a
new picture
and rewrite
the headline to give it strength
and clarity.
The“Shock Diminution”
Rule:Shock diminishes
in exact ratioto repetition.
The web has reborn a venerable marketing approach: “per-
inquiry”
Absolute rules for p.i. marketing:
• Offer is for product, not service• Response goes to medium or list
source• Offer must be easy to
understand• Fulfillment is from medium or
list source• All involved parties share names• Remittance from recipient to
offerer is fast and accurate
Part Three:
Let’s attack the hot media of the
day…Web and mobile
Don’t assume your mobile target has the same mind-set and attention-span
asthe same
individual sitting at his/her computer.
Is mobile the medium of the immediate future?
BIG benefits:•Highly targeted.•Can reach targets anywhere they are.•Results are measurable.•Can be interactive.
If targeting and interactivity are
absolute, why doesn’t the medium achieve
dominance?
Why use mobile? Because you can…-- Send timely offers right to the user’s mobile device, provided the mobile user is an opt-in subscriber.-- Create segments by demographic and purchase data.-- Deploy graphic mobile coupons that can be redeemed at a store.-- Use sometimes effective QR codes to link to events and promotions.-- Integrate with databases that are used by email, direct marketing, and other methods.
Why question the use of mobile? Because it doesn’t…-- Reach a high percentage of potential responders. -- Get a message out no matter where or when the prospect may be ready to receive. -- Have the flexibility of other media.-- Cover anywhere near the totality of your selling message.-- As yet compete on a cost-per-positive-contact basis with email, direct marketing, and other methods.
Mobile is initiating
a new supply-
industry.
Consider and discuss:Are social media
competitivein the world of e-
commerce?What are the “yea”
possibilities?What are the “nay”
possibilities?
If this surprises you, you aren’t in the marketplace.
If you plan to use Facebook or MySpace
or Twitter as a marketing tool…
please, please, please:Test.
(Best test: as both vendor and as potential
consumer.)
The email marketplace of 2013/2014 is far
more brutal than it was even a few years ago.
Why?• Invasion of “new media”• Abuse by so many emailers• Wild competitive growth• Wild competitive claims
Two advisories from an “Expert,” in Inc.:1. “Unless you are having some sort of outrageous sale that people just can’t resist, descriptive, transaction oriented subject lines don't usually perform very well. What does perform well? Creative, catchy, eye-catching subject lines. So feel free to be creative, witty, and funny.”2. “All of your emails should have a primary call to action, which is above the fold and very ob-vious. However, don't have the email end there. Some customers want to scroll to learn more or see other content. So give them what they want. Add a row of ‘best sellers,’ new products, testimonials, or other useful information.”Opinions about these advisories?
Each bid costs a dollar. Misleading offers such as this damage the
credibility of email as a medium.
A few subject lines that may work but are of questionable ethics:
•After Friday, forget our deal.•Someone is using your photo here.•Your new LG washer/dryer is here.• Re: Possibility?•Do you really want to cancel?•Sorry, I’m going to have to cancel•Can’t win them all. I give up.•Junk mail? Hell, no. [or, Heck, no.]•Thought I was dead? You’re wrong.•Two more days and the deal is off.•It’s PayPal, not Western Union.
How would you make these subject lines more
powerful?•Carlos walked away from 29K in debt•AHS the right choice in home warranties - Free Quote!•Fidelity Life Association's Rapid Decision Term Life•Here are more reasons to SHOP WITH US!•Take home essential style with GQ and Details
Weak subject line may prevent recipient from ever seeing the motivational headline:
Simple psychology:Offer
“click here”options
repeatedly.(It parallels the
“trial close”of a conventional
sales pitch.)
Can you offer “Click here” too often? Probably not.
Can you sell directly from anemail message? Absolutely.
Email has becomethe home of
quarter-truths, and non-truths.Worst offenders:Those who use
the word“FREE”as bait.
Which of these pulled better?
10% off. Free shipping.
What is the differencein pulling power
between
includedand
free?
This magazine “includes
”extras
that had to strain
the writer’s mental
resources. We’ll look
closer.
How would you have worded some of these
“Benefits”?
Remember the rule,
Imperative outpulls
declarative?
This b-to-b email
ignores that rule
and invites “Click. I’m
outta here.”
Now you do it:Write a dynamic subject line and
first line of text for that email.
Suggest an effective subject line
Are newsletterseffective use of
email?(Many catalog emailers
use thenewsletter format as
“stay-in-touch”communication.)
A newsletteris a porous
emailbandage,
considerablyless exciting thana one-to-one offer.
Why?Because…
Building respect
for the senderis not parallelto responding
to an offer.
Newsletteradvantages:• Mild customer
loyalty• Frequency has
logic• Many
variations (jokes, surveys)
Newsletterdisadvantages:
• Weak selling weapon
• Selling is subordinated
• Boredom factor
If you decide to use a newsletter to build
your list or to be the “carrier” for your sales
message, YOU MUSTbe certain that the first item is exciting for the
recipient.
Is the first item in your newsletter
an advertising message?
Uh-oh.
Is the first item in your “Joke of the Day”
the joke itselfand not
an advertising message?
Uh-oh.
A key point:Each format dictates a
psychology.different
DON’T send a message
that’s a totaldownload, with
no upfront motivators.
Why?
Because12 to 18 million
people(used to be30 million)
will see thison their screen:
Did you know…•Adding the recipient’s name to the “Subject” line usually increases response.•There is no point in sending “teaser” email.
Which is better? This one?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_Subj:Boost Sales! Date: 2:43:47 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: [email protected]: [email protected] from the Internet (Details)
Let's face it. It's the 4th quarter. The holidays are just around the corner. Now is the time to gear up for the busiest and most profitable time of the year! We all need to:
* boost sales* increase profits* expand our markets* max our budgets (use it or lose it!)* watch the bottom line
The BOTTOM LINE: dollar for dollar, pound for pound, there's nothing more powerful and effective than targeted email advertising (proof of this in an independent study - see link below!)
Or this, same day’s email: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__
Subj:Please call me Date: 2:44:52 AM Pacific Daylight TimeFrom: [email protected]: [email protected] from the Internet (Details)
Here's some new info for you. Please call me right away.
Regards,Rich
Let's face it. It's the 4th quarter. The holidays are just around the corner. Now is the time to gear up for the busiest and most profitable time of the year! We all need to:
* boost sales* increase profits* expand our markets* max our budgets (use it or lose it!)* watch the bottom lineThe BOTTOM LINE: dollar for dollar, pound for pound, there's nothing more
An oddity worth testing:
Moving “click here”UP
in the textusually increases
response.
In actual tests…text outpulled a produced email
when the message wasURGENCY.
Produced message outpulled text
when the message wasARTISTRY.
An interesting test:Which of these subject
lines pulled best?John, here is the
information you have been waiting for.
or…Here is the information you
have been waiting for, John.
No one could have anticipated the
difference. One brought 13% more response.
Which one?Here is the information you have been waiting
for, John.
Which of these pulled more response?
• You Can Save Up To 70%!
• You can save up to70%!
Use Initial Caps…and expect response to
drop.OF COURSE YOU KNOW
WHY.
Initial caps are a dead giveaway not
only that this is advertising, but
advertising from a distance.
Rapport? Forget it.
Which of these pulled more response?
• I’m going to save you 70%!
• I’m going to save you 70%.
Which of these pulled better?
• Information you should have about home improvement schemes
• Beware of home improvement schemes.
• Home improvement offer? Look out.
Repeat:An apparent
(and dangerous if it seems arrogant)
gauge of response –In a selling situation,
IMPERATIVEoutpulls
DECLARATIVE.
Forbusiness-to-business
email:Always test
TEXTagainst a
PRODUCED MESSAGE.
Which of these pulled better?
•Talk to me.•Do me a favor.
Don’t get diarrhea of the fingertips.
D o n’t g et d ia r r heao f t he fi nger t ip s .
==================================================
Subject: Alter significantly the denudation of Panglossian Corporate communications.
Dear Docent-Colleague,
A malefactoring challenge entrepreneurial enterprises face today is multiple-layer communication with a diverse and diffuse geographically dispersed staff. Indefatigablemeretriciousness can generate negativism from the most mundane pronouncement.
Employing Microsoft’s Digital Media, this retiform Division invites you to gain knowledge and understanding of the professional and nonprofessional benefits of streaming media technologies during complimentary attendance at a webcast:
To register, see website for details.This message is singularly intended for the corporate executive to whom it has been addressed. Additional invitations may be available upon request. Include corporate title, areas of authority, and e-mail address.
Provocative e-mail:
Click and get this:
A highly-effective ploy
An original (first) communication
suggesting a prior inquiry.
Do you consider it unethical?
A key question:What are you doing…
or including…to maximize
the capture ofonline addresses?(Easy hint: Give them a reason.)
Forget using email as a “branding” procedure:
Building respectfor the senderisn’t parallel to
generating responseto an offer.
A powerful rule offorce-communication:
Specifics outpullgeneralizations.
Emailis today’s
most significant example of this rule.
“Ad” copy versus specifics:Which will bring more
response?
So…Load your both your
subject line and your message with
rhetorical dynamite…
But don’t assume you can get away
with blather.
Who can resistthis flattering subject line?
Which of these would bring greater response?
• You’ll be interested in the hundreds of “Specials” on sale this week at greatly reduced prices.
or…• The Bushnell 650 telescope
you thought would cost $375 is yours right now (HURRY!) for $69. And that’s just the beginning.
The only difference is the box at upper left. You don’t have to be a
practicing psychologist to know which one outpulled the other.
ALWAYSsend yourself
a sample message.Otherwise,
you could havestupid resultssuch as this:
Dear $Firstname$,
I was just reviewing our client list when suddenly a vision flashed intomy minds eye!
I nearly dropped my cup of tea it was so powerful and concentrated. We understand you're going through some difficult times and want very badly to find or keep your true love.
We also know that you may be struggling financially and need MONEY desperately. Well, your time may soon come! However, I must warn you that to get what we most want in life we sometimes need to find courage and walk a hazardous path.
$Firstname$, at these times we need to walk through fire and take chances! Are you up to the challenge?
$Firstname$, Are you ready to take the risks you need to transform your life?
We must read your Tarot cards to clarify this intense vision! That's why I'm giving you a FREE Tarot reading! Call now!
Begin to take some chances for your dreams! $Firstname$, call toll-free 1-800-526-4317 immediately! In your future, $Firstname$, you may be confronted with a decision that could very well lead to wealth, health and happiness. You may be rich! One caller claims to have won money with her psychics' advice!You could you be next!
Love & hope,Miss Cleo
Did they pay for this list?
Why this marvelous medium is in disrepute:
Click on “unsubscribe and get this:
Did you know…• Tying your news to actual news
increases email response.• Asking a relevant question is
unusually potent in email.• Rules of letter-writing (short
paragraphs, spacing) apply.• Matching demographics to
message can be super-valuable.
Did you know…• If your offer is stated clearly
before scrolling down you will increase response.
• An ALL CAPS message does not pull as well as standard caps and lower case (avoid initial caps, please).
• “FREE!!! FREE!!! FREE!!!” is a transparent pitch. One “Free” has verisimilitude. And please: One punctuation mark is plenty.
• If you address your target by first name, be very sociable.
Provocative. OK, I’ll vote. Click:
No, I won’t. (Opinion, please:How should this have been done?)
OK for followers, but when
the recipient of
an email says,
“Huh?” the sender has damaged
the effectivene
ss of an otherwise
salesworthy proposition.
Whenever possible, test an action/deadline
subject line against a play on
words.
Email is the only medium in which the approach
“It’s important to meso it’s important to you”
is a valid marketing ploy…but only if properly used.
Why?Because email is the
ultimate one-to-one, arm-around-the-shoulder
medium. Rapport is the key to response and to fewer
opt-outs.
Soin an email message,
“I”is infinitely superior to“We.”
The reader doesn’t know who “I” might be … but is automatically less
negative
Viral marketingtends to work
whenthe message
recipientrecognizes
a “pass-along” benefit.
Note this opt-in technique. Email says:
The “click” brings up:
which in turn brings up:
And if you click through and don’t order:
Reason for annoyance:This is the come-on.
Enter information,click, and get this:
Enter information,click, and get this:
Endless string. Enter information,click, and get marketer-serving
coupons.
Consider psychological techniques for reducing the number ofopt-outs.
Second generation opt-out:
Did you know…Sending a direct mail
(“snail mail”) message to opt-outs will pull considerably better
than the same mailing to demographically parallel individuals?
(What is the significance of that
curious fact?)
Survey by “McPherson Associates”:
– Friday emails are the most opened.
– Friday volume is relatively low.– 14.3 percent of emails are sent on Friday versus 24.5
percent on Tuesday.– Sunday has low open rates, highest click-through rate. --
(Survey may or may not be valid for you.)
If you follow upemail
with telemarketing,call withintwo days
after sendingthe email.
(Best bet: Be ready tore-send,
on the spot.)
Consider and discuss:Are social media
competitivein the world of e-
commerce?What are the “yea”
possibilities?What are the “nay”
possibilities?
Discuss: What do emails such as
this suggest for the future?(Click, and…)
Why some marketers see little value in
How rampant is fakery in compiling social media friends and
followers?
What is right and what is wrong
with this business-
to-business
email offer?
Results and conclusions of this type of survey are semi-
valid.
Recent study of message longevity:
Twitter: 2.8 hoursFacebook: 3.2 hoursYouTube: 7.4 hours
“In short, after three hours, links shared on the two major social
networks — Twitter and Facebook — are headed to obscurity.
YouTube links last a bit longer.”.
(Online column)Is any of this unique to Twitter, over
email?
Can you believe this?Points seriously made in a bylined article in a marketing publication:“To make Twitter work as part of your marketing plan, consider these five tips: ∙Identify your program goals before you start.∙Figure out an inbound strategy.∙Identify the tools you’ll need. ∙Commit resources. ∙Plan to integrate.”
Five more…Useful
?or
useless?
If you plan to use Facebook or MySpace
or Twitter as a marketing tool…
please, please, please:Test.
(Best test: as both vendor and as potential
consumer.)
From a recent
issue of Websit
e
What effect
does each additional
social medium have on
us as direct
marketers?
These are just the top
contenders. More social
media appear every month.
What does that indicate
for the future?
A new competitor every day:
A new competitor every day:
What do growing dominanceand increasing competition
for attention indicateto the alert marketer?
Comment by senior writer,Daily Finance
How social media become standard media
Example of Expanded
Tweet:User can “open” a
tweet.Question: Will this
keep visitors from
clicking through to
the original?
Social media use personal to sell.
On which targets does Twitter have
a selling impact
?
Everybody has a gimmick
No surprise … it’s the usual “Complete sponsor offers”
According to BtoB Magazine:
“64 percent of marketers are allocating some
portion of their social media budget to paid advertising on social
sites this year.”(What else would be in a “social media budget”?)
“Social” are new media.
The rules are still forming. Always
analyze your results, and you’ll generate a constant flow of rules
you can use…profitably.
Part Four: Basic rulesfor Website marketing
Two factors override all others:
1.The Clarity Commandment.
2. Stop the surfer-visitor in his/her tracks.
The First Rule of Internet Copy
Copy length usually is not a factor. Substantial copy length, within a single copy block, is a negative factor.
(This suggests –“Want that? Do this.” NOT…“Do you want that? Then do this.”)
The Second Rule of Internet Copy
With every headline, every sentence, ask yourself:
If I were reading this instead of writing it, would my
interest-level stay high?
The Third Rule of Internet Copy
Don’t be afraid to sell.
The Fourth Rule of Internet Copy
Subject to the First Rule, copy length can expand in ratio to the amount of promise it makes.
The Fifth Rule of Internet Copy
•Announcements cannot compete with salesmanship.•Technical expertise cannot compete with salesmanship.•Gadgetry cannot compete with salesmanship.
Strong ways to assure yourself of
RE-visits:• Frequent changes of your offer• Bonuses for repeat visits and/or repeat orders• Sprightly text• Contests
Would you say this home page is too busy?
I would.
Clean layout. Want a deal on fleas?
Would you say this home page is too busy? I
wouldn’t.
The personal touch … too often missing from Websites.
But…
WARNING:Your first-time
visitorhas the attention-
spanof a gnat.
You can capitalize on this truism:
The Web is price-driven.
Why should a marketer offer
FREE SHIPPINGfor orders resulting
from email solicitation…
but not for the same item ordered from the
printed catalog?
You know the answer:
ALLcommercial
email is competitive with
all other commercial email.
In 2013,many
printed catalogs
either add free
shipping or face a drastic
reduction of volume.
Is thisemail or a Web page?
(The question
is the point: It could be either.)
“Bots” expose comparative prices:
Let’s take a closer look to see comparisons:
Costco’s price is just $39.99. But…
Note the shipping charge. (Others are
$6.99)
GOOD IDEAS:• Change your offer often. Daily
isn’t too often. (Why?)• Don’t use the company logo as
the key to the home page. (Why?)
• Immediately offer a terrific deal. (Why immediately?)
• No direct exit from a “deep” screen. (Why?)
POOR IDEAS:• Having someone lured by email
land on the home page instead of the offer that attracted him or her. (Why?)
• As an opener: “A message from our Chairman.” (Why?)
• Philosophy rather than a hard offer. (Why?)
• “Employee of the Month.” (Why – but how about “Customer of the Month”?)
The need for external media promotion
for your site increases in ratio to four factors:
1. Direct competition2. The total number of Web sites3. The volume of site advertising
in media4. Your valid claims of
uniqueness
Part Five:
Let’s use some of the rules of
force-communication
to write sales letters.
The purpose of the carrier envelope
(other than keeping its contents from spilling out onto the street):
TO GET ITSELF OPENED.
Saying too muchon the envelope
can damage response.
Which copy is most likely to get the
envelope opened?
Enclosed: Quick test.or…
Enclosed: Quick quiz.or…
Enclosed: Quick ballot.
Which copy is most likelyto get the envelope
opened?
Enclosed: Quick ballot.or…
Enclosed: Your quick ballot.
or…Your ballot is enclosed.
The extra “bump” boosts the probability of opening.
(Two things wrong here … what are they?)
Is this effective envelope copy?
Is this effective envelope copy?
Is this effectiveenvelope copy?
Opinion – effective? ineffective? Unsettling?
Even without knowing contents, we know this envelope copy isn’t
strong. What’s wrong with it?
Inside:typical
blah-blah slow-
moving, self-
important 6-page
letter (no “Report” as such)
Even this (buried in the six-page letter) would have been grist for envelope
copy:
Is this optimal envelope copy?
There goes verisimilitude:
Would envelope copy have helped or suppressed
response?
Here is the next mailing. Better chance of getting it
opened?
Wow! An offer I can’t refuse.
If your offerrequires explanation,
DO NOTspill your guts
on the envelope.
Your opinion of this envelope copy? (Another problem for
AAL)
What might you change to make this envelope
more likely to be opened?
Will the reverse side make opening more likely or less likely?
How would you have
started the
letter inside that
envelope?
Is thiseffectiveenvelope copy?
Which one pulled better?
Which one pulled better?
Does a dual-language envelope help or suppress
response?
Is there a benefit to this type of envelope? If so, what is it?
Can’t miss.
Oops. Reverse side damages response.
Hands-on practice:Consider this typical circumstance: You're a premium cable channel. You plan to show 50 movies between now and Thanksgiving Day. You're sending a promotional mailing to cable subscribers, pointing out —1. Next Saturday your channel is free (so cable subscribers get a "sampler"). 2. If they sign up now, cable subscribers pay no connection fee.
What legend, if any, do you put on the envelope?
Which letter pulled better?
Some logicalrulesfor
effective letter-writing
(and much email):
Keep your first sentence
short.
No paragraphslonger than
seven lines.
Some can be one word.
Single spacethe letter.
Double spacebetween paragraphs.
In a letter longer than one page,
don’tend a paragraph at the
bottom of any page except the last.
(Why?)
Don’tsneak up
on the reader.
Fireyour biggest gun
first.(Imperative for email.)
Tired of “Dear Friend”?Try one of these:
• Good morning!• Hi.• Dear Colleague,• Dear Tennis Nut,• Dear Fellow Tennis Nut,• This will be a good day, [NAME]!• If you’re like I am, [NAME]…
(When should you useonly the first name?)
Tired of “Dear Friend”?Try one of these:
• Private memo to [NAME]• I’m writing in haste, [NAME],
because…• [NAME], did you ever imagine…• News bulletin for [NAME]:• [NAME], a small favor, please?
(When should you useonly the first name?)
How doesHi.
Differ fromHi!?
What is wrong with this first sentence?
Over one trillion dollars is spent by manufacturing companies each year on materials, equipment, and services.
Which of these letter openings pulled best?
What is wrong with this letter?
(Opinion)
“Johnson Boxes” are obsolete.
The 21st century replacement:The overline.
A 21st century addition: the overline.
Ahandwritten
overlinetends to outpull
atypesetoverline.
The first responsibility of the overline:
To grab and shake the reader's attention.
The second responsibility of the
overline:To make the reader
eager to continue reading.
You can see how this overline supplies both
responsibilities:
Readership tests tell us: The overline, when
present, is theMOST READ
part of the letter.(What is the next
MOST READpart of the letter?the postscript.)
The p.s. should reinforce one of the key
selling motivatorsor mention an extra
benefit ---one which doesn't
require explanation.
If you enclose two letters in your mailing,don't put a p.s. on both
of them.
Which p.s. pulled better?
P.S. I think you’ll agree that this is an exceptional opportunity, and I urge you to respond quickly if you intend to take advantage of it. I know you don’t want to miss out.
or…P.S. This exceptional opportunity expires at midnight Sunday,October 13. So call my toll-free number – 1-888-765-2437.I know you don’t want to miss out.
An absolute truism of force-communication:
Specificsoutpull
generalizations.
A logical test:The same letter, with and without marginal notes
If you includemarginal notes…
• Handwrite the marginal notes.• Match calligraphy of the
handwritten signature (and overline).
• Blue, if possible.• No more than five words.• One per page is plenty.
Maximum two.
Decide whether marginal note should be at left or at
right.
TheEmotion over Intellect
Rule(Remember it,
from yesterday?)can help you write
effective sales letters.
Repeating the“Emotion over Intellect”
Rule:When emotion and intellect come into conflict, emotion
always wins.(So an emotion-based sales
argument will outsell an intellect-based sales
argument.)
An emotional appeal will outpull an
intellectual appeal.Since exhortation is more emotional than either explanation or
validation, the letter is a more powerful selling
weapon than the brochure.
How would you make these sentences more
emotional?• I need your aid.• My story is at an end.• Can you donate $25?• We regret the error concerning
your account.• A reply from you would be
appreciated.• If you are dissatisfied, simply
return it.• Enclosed please find the pertinent
information.
What is the difference between…
• $100• $100.• $100.00• $100!• $100.00!• One hundred dollars• A hundred bucks
For offers with a highly “emotional” flavor, if
you include a response device which
emphasizes responding by mail you may actually damage
response.
Part Six:
A potpourriof useful
tips
The Consistency Command:Components of an
advertisement. a mailing, or an email message must reinforce and validate one
another, or reader/viewer/listener
response to all components
will be reduced.
The mailing sells variable data printing. But the mailer doesn’t use it.
The superiority of examples over statistics:
Statistics = cold-blooded, no involvement.Examples = warm-blooded, involvement.
First pass:If treated early, 75% of those children who have this deadly disease can be saved.Second pass:Innocent children die from this disease. With early treatment, three out of four will live.Third pass:This deadly disease is killing innocent children. With early treatment we can save three precious lives, of four we're now losing.
Fourth pass:We lost Jimmy today. His parents knew his precious days were numbered. But Mary, Karen, and Billy all will live. We were able to start their treatment early enough to save them.
Which text is most likely to generate response? Why?
Plural references say to the reader:
“You're one of the mob.”
Singular references say to the reader:
“Only you.”Which one will do a better selling job?
Use singular to suggest exclusivity:“You’ll save on anything you see in these pages.”Use a collective noun to suggest universality:“You’ll save on everything you see in these pages.”
The Celebrity Endorsement Rule:
In business-to-business copy, user endorsements are usually stronger than celebrity endorsements. In consumer copy, endorsement by a celebrity unrelated to the type of product or service you sell probably is a waste of money.
Benefit beyondcelebritycost?
No point here other than…I detest this creature.
If you have an IQ under 70,you can get a creative job at
Geico or its advertising agency.
Trigger-words for seniors:Discount
Buy directYoung
Have a problem with...Do you remember how [WHATEVER] used to
be?Have you considered?
For print, mail, or email to seniors:
1. No type smaller than 10-point.2. Response must be easy.3. Include a coupon with ample room to make entries, or an easy “Click here.”4. Suggest a discount or bargain.5. Appear to appeal to logic.6. Don't make a long story short.
Hands-on practice:Write a headline and first sentence for a
space ad selling “Joint Support Formula,” 100 capsules for $4.99, to
the general public.Then…
Write a headline and first sentence selling the same items in a
magazine circulated to seniors.
Aone-minute look
atself-mailers:
(Do they work?)
A must: “What you’ll lose
if you ignore this.”
Advantages:• Possible lower
postal rate• Lower printing
cost• In sync with
thin attention-spans
Disadvantages:
• Recipient immediately knows it’s advertising
• Comparatively impersonal
Front panel of self-mailer.Can you see the automatic
advantage over other media?
Positivesusually outpull
negatives.
So don’tstart your selling
argumentwith
“Don’t.”
The“Teaser-Waster” Rule:
Teaser mailings and space ads,which don't tell the reader
what the mailer has for sale,are less productive than mailings
which include facts on whichthe target-individual can
formulatea buying decision.
The Non-Importance Rule:
Calling something important, when your best prospects will know it isn’t important, will cost you response … because you have a more powerful way to convince.
What would you have done to imply urgency
here?
Want to guess what the GREAT NEWS is?
A“Yes/No” option
will increase response.BUT…
Smart marketers knowhow to word
the “No” option.
The Illustration Agreement Rule:
Illustration should agree with what we are selling, not with
headline copy.
Hucksterism: totally
out of date.
Gettingattention
isn’t parallel
to gettingpositive
attentionresulting
inpositive
prospect-action.
Suggest an
illustration that better
sells the concept.(And can you make the copy
more dynamic?)
WARNING:If you think
in cliché-termsyou absolutely and
positively will excretesecond-level
“creative” work.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Hopeless
cliché:The
smart copy team
blames the art
director.
Space ad aimed at nonprofit
s…
Rewrite heading to add
dynamics and
specifics.
All right, quick:
What are they
selling?
All right, quick:
What are they
selling?
All right, quick:What’s this all about?
Quick: What are they selling?
Why isthisonedifferent?
The Active/Passive Rule:
Unless you specifically want to avoid reader involvement in your message, always write in the active voice.
Usetelemarketingto customerstwice a year.
Which customers?-- The tip of the
pyramid.-- (If staffing permits) 12-month dropoffs.
Call only____the tip____
ofthe pyramid.
Public perception
The “Avoid Five” Rule:In more formal copy, avoid
using multiples of five when suggesting time or cost of
distance – Replace
“about five minutes.”“Oh, figure spending ten
bucks.”with
“some 4-1/2 minutes.”“Anticipate a cost of about
eleven dollars.”
The reader interprets the
five/ten estimates as guesses, because
they are the common
approximation.But…
Those approximations can be valuable when
projecting a casual mood.
You’re the professional.You decide.
(Make your decision deliberately, based on
what mood you’re projecting and to whom.)
Don’t over-describe:
What is the difference between:
• New medical breakthrough
• Medical breakthrough
Choice of words:• From $30,250• Starting at $30,250
Choice of words:• You will be among the first to…
• You will be one of the first to…
Why isamong
a weakener?Psychologically, it automatically kills
exclusivity.
Do you see how the word “among” denies
exclusivity?
The wording on a TV spot for a product called
“FiberChoice”:Four grams of fiber
in each dose.Which word would you
have changed?And what word would you have used to replace it?
YOU are in command of the reaction to your
words:“You pay much less.”
“Others pay much more.”
Suggest an
illustration that better
sells the concept.(And can you make the copy
more dynamic?)
Stock photo
results in cliché
concept:Ugh.
“Content” parallelsbird-droppings?
Another stock photo. Your
choice – Tourette
Syndrome or St. Vitus’ Dance.Ugh.
Aside from font problems,
Genève needs a towel to
dry off its stock photo cliché.
Another stock photo. Your
choice – Praying?Hoping
for rain? Looking
for clarity in the ad?
Ugh.
Wouldyou
hire the “creative” team
that excreted
this?
Clichés are gender-neutral.
Clichés are
“high-fly”neutral.
Clichés are ethnically-neutral.
Age is not a factor when firing
blanks by using
non-relevant
stock photos.
Age is not a factor when firing
blanks by using non-
relevant stock
photos.
See why stock photos are a sign of
creative defects…or worse,
carelessness?Ugh.
Does this
make sense
toyou?
Does this
make sense toyou?
A dozen implicitly weak words and phrases:
• administration
• approximately• define• earn• facilitate• features
• formulate• indeed• needs (as
noun)• product• respond• work
A dozen words and phrases with power
• free• free gift• limited
time• right
now• surprise• hot
• first time offered• not sold in stores• good only until
[DATE]• Don’t miss out• I’ll look for your
order• Try it at our risk
Some“Quickies”
Sometimes cracks the apathy barrier:
Address side stays in character:
Letter stays in character, except:
The copywriter’s most professional tool …
Are you maximizing it? (Are you aware of it? If you are, are you aware
of how easy it is?)Word
expansion
A few examples of word expansion:
The original copy –
Save 10% weekdays.
Expanding the original copy –
Save 10% Monday-Friday.
A little more expansion –
Save 10% Monday through Friday.
And a bit more expansion –
Save 10% every day Monday through Friday.
Keep expanding until you’ve maximized.
Brain–power doesn’t cost anything.
Save 10% every single day Monday through
Friday.
We haven’t yet achieved nirvana. The
meistersinger word expander looks beyond
the obvious:Save a big 10% Monday.Save a big 10% Tuesday.
Save a big 10% Wednesday.
Save a big 10% Thursday.Save a big 10% Friday.COME IN AND SAVE!
NOTE:Does “10%” justify the
word “big”?A peripheral benefit of
word expansion:Repetition makes the
claim contagious.
While we’re on this point – “Save 10%”
is more dynamic than“10% off.”
• It’s a clear imperative.• It’s emotion-based rather than comprehension-based.
Another easy example of word expansion:
Original –
“Available in gray, suntan, blue, and
charcoal.”
Expanded, copy adds a minuscule injection of
power –
“Available in these most wanted colors – gray, suntan, blue,
and charcoal.”
With more word expansion, we add
another mini- injection of power –
“Available in every one of these most wanted colors – gray, suntan, blue, and charcoal.”
What is the word in all those examples that
saps out power?
Available
So:Search and destroy
thatpower-shrinking
word:
Available
How would you re-word this?
One more apparently trivial example ofword expansion:
Original –“Word expansion is the easiest and the most
logical way to add word-power.”
Adding one word expands impact just a
fraction… and fractions are what the
professional looks for and exploits –
“Word expansion is both the easiest and
the most logical way to add word-power.”
Careful, though:
Don’t over-expand.
Which of theseheadings pulled
better?
Vote. The actual test results…
Use of subhead pulled considerably better:
Why did the one on the left pull more than 20% better?
Opinion: 1. Question is involving.2. “15 minutes” is too long, a turnoff.
The longer subject line pulled considerably more response. (All other elements were identical.)
What elements are significant here, other than actual word-
length?
These were identical except for small legend at bottom right – “Tuition &
Openings” versus “Schedule a Tour.”
What is of interest to a prospect-parent? Probably because of the subject, “Tuition and Openings” far outpulled “Schedule a
Tour.”
A “clean” test – which one brought more response?
Start your free 30-day trialor
Start my free 30-day trial?
No contest:“My…”blew
“Your…”away.
The hidden key to rapport
is the ability to transmita vital element of force-
communication:
AWARENESS
Benefit inforce-communication:
not, "What will it do?"
but, "What will it do for
me?"
TELL YOURTARGET-
INDIVIDUALWHAT
TODO.
The benefit of
QUESTIONS
Quick and obvious tip:
Questions are automatically
reader-involving. And…a question automatically is less threatening and
more rapport-suggestive than a thunderbolt hurled from Mount
Olympus.
Note the difference:
This is you.Is this you?
(Note, too: The choice is NOT automatic.)
Note the difference:You won’t stand by and let it happen.Will you stand by and let it happen?
(Note, too: The choice is NOT automatic.)
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