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THE PERVASION OF THE OBJECT:DEPRESSION AND UNITIVE
EXPERIENCE
Paul C. Cooper
PERVASIVE OBJECT TRANSFERENCE
Kleinian formulations posit both good and bad primitivemother
representations. Through projective/introjective cycles,the
individual ideally integrates both sets of representations intoa
more stable and cohesive object world accompanied by a moreor less
stable I-sense (Cooper, 1998) with both good andbad aspects. Klein
(1935) asserts that bad objects derive fromthe subjects murderous
impulses that are projected into themother. She writes: But it is
because the baby projects its ownaggression on to these objects
that it feels them to be bad andnot only in that they frustrate its
desires: the child conceives ofthem as actually
dangerouspersecutors who it fears will devour,scoop out the inside
of its body, cut it to pieces, poison itinshort, compassing its
destruction by all the means which sadismcan devise (p. 262). Thus,
for Klein, these images become grossdistortions of the actual
object that come to populate the sub-jects internal and external
worlds. According to Klein, these dis-tortions derive from the
infants primitive projective processes.Klein (1935) describes these
early cycles as momentous (p.267) in that they exert a significant
impact on the internalizationand integration of ones psychic
structure. Klein implicates re-strictions in the
projective/introjective processes with themost severe psychosis.
This underscores the importance of pro-jective/introjective
processes in normal development. Althoughnot negating this crucial
aspect of projection in the developmentof the infants internal
object world, this view fails to take ac-count of the actuality of
the mothers projection of her own bad
Psychoanalytic Review, 89(3), June 2002 2002 N.P.A.P.
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414 PAUL C. COOPER
objects and sadistic impulses into the infant. This issue will
beexplored here.
This article elaborates one idiosyncratic permutation of
pro-jective/introjective cycles initiated by the object. This
formula-tion sheds light on a specific spectrum of depressive
symptomsaccompanied by a specific, consistent, and tenacious
transfer-ence/countertransference dynamic. The latter can best be
de-scribed as object pervasion and manifests in analysis in what
Irefer to as pervasive object transference. Object pervasion
hasbeen discussed tangentially elsewhere in a different context.
Inthat communication, I wrote, regarding a blurring of
boundariesbetween an analysand and myself:
This experience of both Adam and myself as mother representsa
blurring of boundaries. . . . One manifestation of this blurringof
boundaries took the form of what we describe as a pervasiveobject
transference. With certain patients . . . at certain times inthe
treatment the affect becomes and is the expression of theobject
representation. The treatment situation becomes one inwhich both
patient and therapist become and experience them-selves as the
object; for the patient everyone and everything si-multaneously
becomes the object. Interpretation during thisphase of treatment
requires recognition of this perceptual stateand accompanying
physical sensations, behaviors, feelings andthoughts. (Cooper,
1999, p. 77)
Object pervasion addresses the destructive force and the
en-suing damage to the nascent self related to both the fantasy
andthe actuality of the object. These processes can go awry, due
tothe mothers pathological projective excesses associated with
alack of reverie (Bion, 1970). At its most insidious level,
objectpervasion saturates psychic space and leaves no starting
pointfor self-experiencing or no room for nascent
self-experiencingto evolve. Thus the capacity for what Eigen (1999)
describes asprimary aliveness becomes severely, if not irreparably,
dam-aged. At the extreme, the experience of no-self becomes
con-cretized and extremely resistant to movements of any kind.
Psy-chotic depression ensues as symptomatic of extreme
objectpervasion. The high level of toxic psychic saturation spills
outand colors the entire environment and includes the analyst.Thus
both subject and object merge into and come to be experi-
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 415
enced as the pervasive object. The space and time of the
therapysession can also become manifestations of this dreaded and
all-engulfing object.
The notion of object pervasion derives from clinical expe-rience
with psychotically depressed patients in the light of
psy-choanalytic and Buddhist principles. Specifically, the
Kleinianunderstanding of projective identification and the Buddhist
un-derstanding of the identity of the relative and the absolute
(Su-zuki, 1999, p. 28) shed light on this particular variation of
unitiveexperiencing.
PSYCHOANALYTIC CONSIDERATIONS
Klein posits an early aggression that evokes guilt, hence
exces-sive attachment. This hypothesis assumes or implies an
exclu-sively internal dynamic within the subject. It is as if the
motherhas no role to play in this process of skewed development
exceptto provide the instances of frustration that, according to
Klein,engender the childs perception of a bad object. This
stancefurther assumes that the mother is free of such attachments
her-self.
Green (1986), for instance, postulates the objects bereave-ment
(p. 149). I would extend this observation to include theobjects
trauma, not necessarily bereavement. In the cases I haveobserved
that fall into the spectrum of object pervasion, withoutexception
the mother experienced severe trauma. Furthermore,the psychic
aspects of the trauma were not treated. Rather, theywere split off
from awareness and rigidly if not vehemently disa-vowed. Traumata
included Holocaust survival, accidental blind-ness, early object
loss through death, sexual exploitation, rape,incest, and prolonged
ongoing physical and/or emotional abuse.
In analysis, excessive projection by the subject accounts
forelements of object pervasion. This situation requires
attentionthrough careful monitoring of countertransference states
andcareful interpretations. However, excessive and continuous
satu-ration through the objects projection and actual
interactionswith the subject, the subjects introjection, and the
latters lackof any capacity to halt further saturation contribute
further tothe process of pervasion.
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416 PAUL C. COOPER
Klein (1935) notes: According to Freud and Abraham,
thefundamental process in melancholia is the loss of the loved
ob-ject. The real loss of a real object, or some similar situation
hav-ing the same significance, results in the object being
installedwithin the ego. Owing, however, to an excess of
cannibalisticimpulses in the subject, this introjection miscarries
and the con-sequence is illness (p. 263). On the contrary, in the
case of ob-ject pervasion, there exists too much object. That is,
the experi-ence of the object becomes internalized and reified
orconcretized within the subject. In the absence of healthy
projec-tive/introjective cycles, the fluidity of relational
experience be-comes lost. The brittleness and rigidity in relations
reflect defi-ciencies and disruptions of projective/introjective
cyclesbetween the infant and the primary object. What self that
re-mains available for presentation to the analyst is typically
experi-enced as brittle, shallow, stifled, inflexible, prone to
sudden frag-mentation, and subject to highly restrictive repetitive
and limitedcycles of self-experience and relatedness. The subjects
sense ofself becomes lost. In this respect, depression can be
conceptual-ized as symptomatic or indicative of the empty space
where aself and the associated thought processes and affects should
havebeen. This sense of nothingness as a psychic location
manifestsas depression: depressive symptoms, in actuality, empty,
nothing(No I thing), a dead void, a black hole. When no-thing is
there,depression might come to be experienced as normal. Momentsof
joy, pleasure, feeling, and the authentic attention of a genu-inely
interested other feel alien. Attention, not buffered, attenu-ated,
or mediated through the pathologizing lens of the internal-ized
persecutory object, quickly mobilizes anxietylife anxiety.The
latter creates a quick and sudden flight back to depression.Its
time to pick up ones marbles and go home. The normalrange of
feelings that one experiences in the normal flow of rela-tions
might be misconstrued as manic, as the empty space de-void of
affect one has come to know as normal becomes a safehaven. Thus one
rests safely, albeit painfully, in the numbness ofdepression
without the capacity to suffer ones pain (Bion,1970, p. 19).
Yet shifts in perspective to a spiritual/mystical paradigmcan
attribute to this gap the potential for being anything and
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 417
everything. Nominal becomes phenomenal. Formless infiniteevolves
into something definite. An infinite universe includes auniverse of
possibilities. What Bion tracks as O (ultimateTruth) becoming
through transformations of K (knowledge).It represents nothing and
has a way of becoming everything(Rhode, 1994, p. 72).
The lack of an adequate supporting psychic structure resultsin
this space collapsing in on itself. A state of internal
suffoca-tion ensues, with psychic deadness as a predominant
symptom.1
Thus there is not enough of a self to mobilize the
cannibalisticimpulses that Klein posits. The object takes over in a
parasitic(Bion, 1970) relationship to its host. Any bits and pieces
of selfthat might appear are immediately devoured both by the
inter-nal object and, if present, by the real external object in
actuality.At the stage of object pervasion, cannibalism initiated
by the sub-ject would be a welcome development because it would
clearaway space for the self to become active, to emerge, and then
tooccupy. What might be initially perceived as destructive, not
un-like the tilling of the soil, must by necessity precede
fertility.Such efforts occur in sporadic spurts. The ongoing
cannibalismin such patients can reflect the birth of a self or
efforts to repelor counteract object pervasion. When pervasion
subsides, theretypically occurs a period of starvation reflected in
the subjectsefforts to restrict dietary intake, lose weight, and,
in the extreme,starve oneself.
Anna, for example, ate only one meal a day. This mealwould
always be the same without variation. This dietary restric-tion
went on for several months. Analysis revealed reaction-for-mations
to self-initiated cannibalistic urges, efforts to starve outthe
parasite, efforts to purify ones insides, in preparation to
re-ceive the good object/analyst, or to liberate psychic space
fromoccupation and exploitation. Religious dietary restriction, as
willbe discussed later, might serve the same purpose.
For Beth, the implications of toxicity became so intense thatshe
would bag feces and soiled toilet paper in a plastic bag anddispose
of it outside her home. She perceived the plumbing inher home as
part of her insides. Cara would consistently moveher bowels before
our sessions so as to leave her toxic insidesoutside the
consultation room. Delia, on the other hand, would
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418 PAUL C. COOPER
move her bowels after each session. Among the many
symbolicmeanings for Delias behavior that emerged during analysis,
theone most significant to this discussion centered on her
feelingthat she could give birth to a self in the womb/room
providedby analysis. However, fetus, through shifts in perspective,
be-comes feces, something poisonous and dangerous that must
beremoved before it destroys the good object (analyst,
office,womb). Or, as an act of aggression, in support of an
emergingself, Delia could plant what is toxic in my insides
(plumbing).
In terms of structural theory, the subject becomes, underadverse
conditions, all superego, constituted solely of introjectedbad
objects and object fragments. The latter, at the extreme,
par-asitically colonize, exploit, and denude the subjects (hosts)
in-ner landscape. The subject becomes an unwitting host for whatis
split off and/or disavowed in the object. Sara, who will
bediscussed in detail later, becomes a host, for example, for
hermothers aggressive and sadistic colonization of her
psychicspace, in which case the I-sense is crushed, immobilized,
ornever developed. The remnants or vestiges of self live in a
psy-chic ghetto, which is reflected in the external world in
suchways as self-isolation, starvation (food, social contacts,
emotions),substandard living conditions, and a neurologically
impairedbody/mind.
Does Sara see her mother as all bad exclusively because
ofexcessive projection of her sadism? Does Klein ignore the
depen-dently arising2 possibility that some mothers are bad?
Suchmothers might be stuck in an early primitive state. Mother
hasscooped-out Saras insides to make room for herself, a womb/room
that gets activated during sessions when Sara asserts: Iwant to
climb inside of you, be inside of you where I will be safefrom
harm. On the other hand, her expressions might reflectcries or
pleas from a self desperately attempting to be born. Shedesires a
safe environment to incubate and be born from.
Such individuals are unable to freely and spontaneously usethe
space/time of the session creatively. The room (womb) andtime
(gestation period) remain empty. They become locked
inparanoid-schizoid organizationoscillations derailedliving
infragments reflected in disjointed speech, stuttering,
dispersedinto infinities of time and space, reflected in silence.
Thus the
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 419
possibility for psychic birth and wholeness remain foreclosed.
Inthis respect, the sessions become failed starting points for
birth. . . all that is left is an empty cocoon (personal
communicationwith Michael Eigen). Sara alternates between the wish
to sit onmy lap and be the suckling babe at her good mothers
breastand to sit safely under my chair as discarded feces. On my
lapshe is an acceptable infant. Under my chair she is expelled,
de-graded waste matter.
Saras assertion, I feel like a lump of shit, however,
alsoexpresses the newness of birth. A formless lump, not unlike
clay,has formative potential to be the anything and everything,
theten thousand things. Simultaneously, her expression reflects
amovement from nonexisting to being and the destruction
andelimination of what might have been a self, aborted and
dis-carded.
Again, careful scrutiny of the patients productions, coupledwith
close monitoring of the analysts countertransference re-actions,
contributes to making the distinctions necessary for ac-curate and
effective interpretations. With regard to object per-vasion, both
aspects require simultaneous interpretation to beeffective because
the object infects and operates in both analy-sand and analyst
simultaneously.
Failures in such psychic processing to accomplish a full
inte-gration of good/bad, object/self engender other outcomes.
Onthe one hand, for example, a mother with a brittle, rigid,
frag-mentation-prone sense of self might attenuate anxiety and
medi-ate concern for her child by responding in a controlling,
in-trusive, and limiting manner, which the infant experiences
assuffocating, sadistic, and punitive. On the other hand, a
trulysadistic and toxic mother might be perceived and experiencedby
the infant as loving and nourishing despite the toxicity ofthe
proffered nourishment. As Ella asserted: She was
viscous,destructive, and viperlike in her criticisms, all negating
of anoth-ers personhood and being.
THE IDENTITY OF THE RELATIVE AND THE ABSOLUTEThe eighth century
Zen poet Sekito Kisen elaborates the rela-tionship between the
relative and the absolute in his Sandokai(The Identity of the
Relative and the Absolute or The Har-
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420 PAUL C. COOPER
mony of Difference and Equality). This poem, which explicatesthe
relationship between empirical or relative existence and ulti-mate
or absolute reality, responds critically to sectarian
disputesbetween rival Zen Buddhist schools along with
fundamental,Taoist, and Zen themes and follows a pattern of
distinguishingfirst discontinuity, then continuity, and finally
complementarity(Wenger, 1999, p. 15). According to Wenger, during
the periodwhen this poem was written, Zen was experiencing a trend
awayfrom philosophical, conceptual analysis and toward direct
ex-perience through the practice of zazen, or sitting
meditation.Direct experience through various aspects of Zen
discipline, in-cluding zazen, koan study, and encounters with a Zen
master,chronicles the fluidity of perceptual movements between
iden-tity and separateness.
The following excerpt is from Suzukis translation of
Kisenspoem:
In the light there is darkness.But dont take it as darkness;In
the dark there is light,But dont see it as light.Light and dark
oppose one anotherLike the front and back foot in walking
(Suzuki, 1999, p. 21)
From the Buddhist perspective, the identity of the relativeand
the absolute addresses the simultaneity of both dualistic
andunitive aspects of experiencing. Suzuki (1999) writes: We
areboth one and two (p. 40). This notion serves as a useful
andneutral way to talk about merged states that necessarily occur
inthe psychoanalytic situation without the negative connotationthat
is frequently attributed to the term merger. When
unitiveexperiencing is in the ascendance, the analyst becomes
saturatedwith the pervasive object, as does the patient. However,
whendualistic experiencing ascends, the analyst can then
communi-cate this experience in a usable form as an interpretation.
Lan-guage both requires and creates definition and distinctions
be-tween what aspects of experience are chosen for articulation
andwhat remains unstated, hence formless. The patient,
withoutenough of an I-sense for dualistic experiencing to return,
relies
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 421
on the analyst to restore or engender a feeling of I-sense or
tocreate enough space for I-sense to appear in the analysandthrough
the analysts interpretive expression, whether that beconveyed
through language or silence. Thus the projective iden-tification is
fed back to the analysand in a digestible and usableform. This
feeds and nourishes the nascent I-sense or at leasttemporarily
clears away the pervasion. An underlying masochis-tic love or
imagined need for the object invites its return.
Extreme nihilism, a perceptual error of overnegation of
self,results in the experience of no-self. Depression emerges as
asymptom of the nihilistic obliteration of self and points to
thespace where a self might have been. In my own practice and
indiscussion with colleagues, the pervasion of the object seems
toappear more frequently in women than in men. Without excep-tion,
women describe an emotionally unavailable father or awimp. On the
one hand, the situation for men with an absentfather creates an
all-too-easy oedipal victory and contributes to abrittle false
self, but a self none the less. The woman, on theother hand,
without the intervention of a strong fatheror atleast the fantasy
of a strong fatherto buffer the narcissistic de-mands of the
mother, suffers an Electric defeat. The impover-ished self becomes
more vulnerable to further saturation by themothers needs. No
support exists to mediate I-sense. In a sense,through intense and
primitive introjective processes, the child,without a strong enough
psychic structure to contain the moth-ers primitive affects and
projections, without the psychic equip-ment to support reverie,
digestion, and return, becomes wipedout, overrun, destroyed.
Nothing remains for I-sense to developfrom. This results in a
characterological melange of uninte-grated, fragmented, primitive
mother introjects, which then de-termine the subjects mode-of-being
in the world and associatedI-sense. Virtually no capacity exists to
mediate affect states. Over-medication frequently becomes a
preferred alternative to psy-chic structure. Varying states of
deadness ensue. The analystmust direct attention toward detecting
manifestations of objectpervasion in both crude and microscopic
forms. The latter mani-fest in affect, thought, word, action, and
attitude experiencedand expressed both verbally and nonverbally by
both analyst and
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422 PAUL C. COOPER
analysand. An overemphasis on the subjects I-sense will
obstructthis process. Thus the patient might be deemed as
unanalyz-able. The following case details the concepts discussed
thus far.
SARAS JOURNEY
Sara entered treatment at the age of twenty-eight with
com-plaints of depression and acute anxiety precipitated by the
sud-den and unexpected loss of her job. However, as she
describedit, I have been feeling depressed most of my life. Sara
stuttersand has received speech therapy for her condition. The
inci-dence and intensity of her stuttering have decreased
significantlyand eventually stopped since the start of treatment.
She typicallyspeaks in an emotionally flat, almost mechanical voice
that be-comes inaudible at times. The initial phase of Saras
analysis,which at the time of this writing is in its fourteenth
year, wascharacterized by an almost exclusive emphasis on her
self-states.She initiated this dynamic by an ongoing query: Am I
stupid,lazy, worthless? The unrelenting and abusive tenor of her
con-tinuous queries functioned as an initial expression of object
per-vasion that at the time escaped my understanding. However,
asthe analysis deepened, this particular style of relatedness, the
ac-companying locus of attention, and the associated affect
statesreflected specific familial interaction patterns that
eventuallyemerged in the treatment. That is, her stated
self-perceptions,both real and unrealistic, served as an outline
for the narrowparameters that would ensure a minimal object tie,
despite theinadequacy and toxic nature of the connection. The price
of re-latedness left her feeling suspended on what she described as
athin tightrope, ever anxious of failing and falling.
Sara, now forty-two, recently completed her undergraduatedegree.
Her education was delayed by serious neurological im-pairments that
compromise her ability to function in academic,work, and social
environments. She suffers from a variety ofimpairments and has been
diagnosed as learning disabled. Herdisabilities appear in the form
of short-term memory deficits,visual-motor integration delays,
distractibility, and perseverativebehavior and thought. She is
somewhat clumsy in her move-ments, tends toward extremes, and
becomes highly anxious and
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 423
disorganized when there is any loss of predictability in her
envi-ronment. She presents in a rather needy and cautious way
andprefers (demands) that I be the one who knows. She is used
tocompliance bordering on subjugation and finds herself terrifiedby
the freedom I offer her without knowing what I expect ofher.
Therapy is an invitation to step off of the tightrope. How-ever,
she is fearful of stepping out on the thin ice of new experi-ence.
She fears falling into the abyss of depression. She wouldrather
know exactly what I want, do it, and be done with it.
Sara, the second oldest of four sisters, grew up in an
upper-middle-class Jewish community. Her parents, of Western
Euro-pean Jewish descent, are both well educated. Her father
main-tains a successful professional practice. Her mother, who
obtaineda degree in early childhood education, runs the office for
herhusband. Her sisters are highly gifted intellectually. They all
holdadvanced college degrees, are married, and have children.
Saracannot compete with her sisters. This has been a lifelong
sourceof humiliation, frustration, envy, anger, and guilt. Her
experi-ence of her two younger sisters surpassing her motorically,
intel-lectually, and socially during childhood has seriously
compro-mised her self-esteem. She could not compete with them for
herparents attention or interest and often feels invisible at
familygatherings. Sara fears losing my attention. She laments: You
willreject me for being boring, lazy, stupid, and too slow. You
willbe more interested in your other patients. They are more
at-tractive, more intelligent, more interesting to be with. I am
aworthless lump of shit. You will replace me.
Until about two years into the treatment, Saras parents
sub-sidized her rental apartment. She hid this fact during her
initialintake interview and as a result she obtained acceptance for
low-fee treatment. Although Sara denies any conscious intent on
herpart, she consistently and effectively uses her helplessness to
heradvantage. She frequently creates situations where she can
be-come dependent and be taken care of. For example, she cur-rently
lives in subsidized housing and receives an array of disabil-ity
benefits. She reponds with resentment to situations in whichshe is
required to take care of herself. She resents me for, as shesays,
putting things back on me. She becomes enraged whenany caregiving
or attention is withdrawn.
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424 PAUL C. COOPER
During a period of treatment, Sara became enraged withme for
refusing to take her constant telephone calls. My insis-tence that
Sara leave promptly at the end of our sessions evokedintense rage,
unrelenting demands, and increasing pressuresthat I experienced as
inappropriate intrusions. Her expressionsof extreme helplessness to
the point of immobilization felt likesadistic attacks. I was not
aware of it at the time, but these cameto be understood as
manifestations of object pervasion. That is,Sara would experience
me like her withholding and sadisticmother. Simultaneously, I would
experience her as her pressur-ing, intrusive, sadistic, and
demanding mother.
Spiritual Dimensions
Sara is the only member of her present extended family tofollow
an orthodox Jewish tradition. Spiritual practice and reli-gious
involvement provide an external structure in the absenceof a
cohesively developed internal psychic structure. This struc-ture
also functions in part as a defense against anxiety-provokingaffect
states that seriously threaten Saras fragile sense of
being.However, she finds herself stuck in an extremely brittle
archaicposition that severely limits her functioning in virtually
everyarea of her life.
Careful scrutiny of the way an individual approaches spiri-tual
practices in general and identification of specific aspects ofa
tradition that the individual becomes involved with can helpclarify
both adaptive and defensive uses of the particular tradi-tion for
the individual. For instance, Sara involved herself in arigidly
defined (more so by Sara than by any dogma, creed, orteacher)
orthodoxy in the Jewish tradition. Her rabbi would fre-quently
admonish Sara to lighten up when she would seek hisadvice. She
consciously understood her belief and accompanyingpractices as an
attempt to get closer to her unavailable father.She also became
aware of her identification with an idealizedimage of her maternal
grandmother, whom she viewed as hold-ing the family together. In
this sense, religious observancescould hold Sara together. Her
grandmother, now deceased, wasa person who, in Saras words, always
remained strong in her
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 425
convictions. Unconsciously, the external structures of her
prac-tice, which Sara dutifully performed, also functioned as a
ration-alized voice of support for her healthy autonomous
strivingsfrom her mother, whom Sara described as harsh,
domineering,controlling, sadistic, hypercritical, opinionated, and
engulfing.Mom, according to Sara, made me feel small, tiny,
worthless,and invisible. At times Sara would cease to exist.
Sitting with Sara frequently induces sadistic feelings in
me.Unconscious anger then manifests in a feeling of
withholding.Retrospectively, the withholding would usually be
appropriate.However, my sadistic feelings would linger. I later
came to un-derstand these feelings in the context of object
pervasion and,upon articulation, they would dissipate. They
diminished consis-tently as Sara was able to articulate her
aggression and rage. Atother times, I would feel removed from the
situation. Initially, Irationalized this stance as related to my
growing capacity for ob-jective neutrality and in the best interest
of the treatment. Later,we discovered that Saras parents would both
withhold from herand make similar rationalizations. For example,
Saras motherwould not talk to her for weeks at a time. Although her
motherwas of the opinion that withholding was in Saras best
interest,such a stance would frequently have disastrous
consequences.For example, her mothers refusal to sign a document
thatwould guarantee Saras rent resulted in the loss of her
apart-ment.
Sara could rely on Judaic law to protect herself from hermothers
intense narcissistic demands and toxic saturation ofher psychic
space, which threatened Saras healthy movementstoward engendering
an I-sense. She could safely argue with hermother and express
anger, disappointment, and other forbiddenfeelings. More important,
Sara could assert her own tenuoussense of uniqueness,
individuality, and independence throughevoking Judaic dietary
Sabbath rules and restrictions. For exam-ple, Sara found it easier
to say, No, I cant travel after sun-down, than, No, I really dont
want to see you, or, No, Iwont let you put me up as your punching
bag in front of thewhole family. She could turn down a dinner
invitation easier bysaying, No, I cant eat in that restaurant, its
not kosher, than
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426 PAUL C. COOPER
by saying, No, I wont take in more of your toxicity or let
youhumiliate me in public, or, No, I dont want you intruding intomy
diet, stomach, digestive track.
Her father, whom Sara described as a wimp, was not emo-tionally
equipped or available to perform this much-needed pro-tective
function for Sara, her three sisters, or himself. He tendsto
withdraw into his work or into denials. He prefers to stick tothe
facts and details rather than to relate to any feelings. AsSara
exclaims, feelings are not appropriate, they only get in theway.
This form of emotionally flat reporting of the facts charac-terized
the treatment for many years and would often feel dead-ening. Not
unlike her father, Sara can easily get lost in details.Sometimes I
would find myself letting her and would spaceout. She would then
become quite anxious when I would bringher attention to the
distracting quality of such maneuvers. How-ever, this rigid style
of relatedness defines the narrow limits ofher feeling of
connection to father, mother, spiritual practices,and me. For
example, the family-oriented synagogue or my inter-pretations
become a critical mother. She needs to endure thecriticism, real or
imagined. Even bad connections can createminimal sparks of life.
Mother simultaneously enlivens and de-stroys her. Object pervasion,
not unlike alcohol, initially enlivensbut ultimately depresses
through oversaturation and intoxica-tion.
When Sara participated in family gatherings, she would be-come
extremely fussy about food preparations, bring her owncooking
utensils, call her mother beforehand to determine thesource of the
ingredients, and then call her rabbi or others inher community to
verify that they were kosher. At other times,she simply would
refuse to eat. She remained inflexible and thuscould assert her
existence and individuality and prevent furtherinvasion. However,
her self-assertion would be met with criticismand belittling and
would result in humiliation, fragmentation,and withdrawal.
Saturation with the critical mother destroys nascent buds
ofpsychic structure and leaves a barren, lifeless landscape, which
isexperienced as depression. Fragments remain as the
destructionprocess becomes internalized, thus ensuring that no
I-sense willdevelop. Excess fragments become projected into the
analyst.
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 427
The analyst thus becomes another critical mother with the
po-tential to further destroy emerging I-sense emanations
throughinterpretations and other communications that might feel
likehostile, destructive invasions to the patient.
During the third year of treatment, Sara related a tale fromthe
family history. She was a low-weight baby. Because Sara dis-played
very little appetite, the family doctor recommended arigid feeding
schedule. This included a 2:00 a.m. feeding. Hermother deeply
resented this chore. Furthermore, Sara typicallyrefused this
nocturnal feeding. Her refusal fueled her mothersanger and
resentment. She would storm out of the room, leavingSara awake and
alone in the dark. If mother was not going todo the job right, Sara
queried, why didnt she just let mesleep? In the present, Sara would
frequently experience terrorat the close of our sessions and would
have trouble leaving. Shewould also leave multiple messages on my
answering machine inthe middle of the night. In this context, it
was as if Sara would,on the one hand, be abruptly awakened from her
sleep duringthe session by me (intrusive mother) and then suddenly
be leftto face the world alone. On the other hand, not unlike her
intru-sive mother, she would wake me up in the middle of the
night(session), feed me a toxic formula of rage and helplessness,
andthen depart.
Through our discussions, it soon became clear that Sara en-gaged
exclusively in those aspects of her spiritual practice thatwould
enable her to rationalize retreats and to maintain a safedistance
from her mother and others whom she would imagineto be critical,
judgmental, intrusive, or abusive. Her withdrawalwould not,
however, release her from the internal mother. Self-destructive
processes would ensue. For example, she would relyon traditional
customs to maintain a sense of control with men.On the one hand,
she could safely keep a man out of her apart-ment and ward off any
emerging sexual impulses. On the otherhand, she could push an
interested man away with sudden de-mands for the customary short
courtship and a commitment formarriage. This dynamic would manifest
during sessions in fluctu-ations between extreme withdrawals and
intrusions that wouldleave me feeling either pushed away or running
for cover. Theseextreme self-state experiences re-create
microscopically Saras
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428 PAUL C. COOPER
sense of self in relation to both her father and her mother:
Ifeel like I dont exist [father]; I feel inadequate [mother].They
can suddenly fluctuate, merge, separate, reverse; I dontexist in
your eyes. You dont exist to me. I am inadequate todaddy, he wished
for a son. I dont exist in moms eyes. I aman inadequate extension
of her. I am her withered arm, andshould be amputated. You are
inadequate, you dont helpme. You expect me to be perfect and you
demand too muchfrom me. I am a burden to you. I demand too much
fromyou. Despite the myriad rapidly fluctuating permutations,
ob-ject pervasion remained a consistent theme. The internal
motherdemands Saras insides.
With regard to the larger religious community: Shul is
forfamilies, she would reiterate, I should be married and havekids,
I am not and dont, therefore, I am inadequate and have nobusiness
being there. I can remain home and be observant.
During this phase of treatment, Sara would frequentlycrouch down
in the corner of the consultation room with herlong, unkempt black
hair covering her face, and her face to thewall. On the one hand,
she would repeat, You think I am ugly,stupid, too slow. You hate me
and just want to get rid of me.On the other hand, she would lunge
forward in her seat andrepeatedly ask, Do you think I am stupid? If
you dont, thenwhat do you think of me?
This approach to dealing with her anxiety exacerbatedSaras
feelings of self-isolation. However, the assumptions driv-ing my
therapeutic stance up to this point assumed enough of aself to be,
experience, and suffer isolation. Saras self-imposedbanishment
becomes an external metaphor for her internalworld. The pervasion
of the object banishes whatever aspects ofself might be available,
perhaps fragments of what might havebeen a self, dispersed by the
intense force of pervasion. As ob-ject occupies psyche, like some
alien invasion force, saturation,exploitation, and subjugation
leave nothing left to work with.The emotional landscape becomes
stripped and plundered ofanything that supports the invaders life
while the invader simul-taneously spreads and destroys. As a coping
strategy, isolationdid not work for Sara; she found herself feeling
lonely, isolated,
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 429
and depressed. Relationally, she was repeating a familial
interac-tion pattern. Saras mother, as noted earlier, would
frequentlynot speak to her for weeks at a time. Sara understood her
moth-ers behavior as an expression of rage for various slights, and
sheexperienced my silent listening in the same way. I became
Sarasangry, withholding mother. Saras only recourse was to lock
her-self in her bedroom as a safe haven from her mothers
unrelent-ing emotional brutality. Now she was locked up inside
herself,lonely, isolated, and frightened.
From the point of view of the pervasion of the object, Iwould
respond, You experience me as your withholding moth-er, but you
pressure me the way you described that she pres-sured you. We have
mom all over the place. It seems essentialto respond to both
aspects of the dynamic simultaneously. Bothanalyst and analysand
hold aspects of the pervasive object.
During the fourth year of treatment, Sara began to questionher
rigidity. She noticed that she did not maintain the samestance with
newly found friends. She had a variety of loopholesfor dealing with
both her food and Sabbath restrictions. She alsorealized that, for
the most part, friends simply did not treat herthe way her mother
treated her. Her relation to her religiousexperience also began to
shift about this time. For example, shechose to break Passover to
keep an important appointment, tostudy for an exam, and to come to
therapy. Although she strug-gled with considerable anxiety, guilt,
and ambivalence, she real-ized that she did not have to chuck the
whole thing. She couldalways go back. She exclaimed, My decision
does not mean Iam a hypocrite. Her choice of words is telling and
relates to hermothers inappropriate use of Sara in an unconscious
effort toaddress narcissistic trauma and associated unresolved
issues re-lated to her familys flight from religious persecution
whenSaras mother was seven years old. There was no going back,
nosecond chance. This wealthy family was forced to start over
againas street vendors in New York City. They had chucked the
wholething.
Saras needs in relation to her spirituality were
changingradically. She said, Blind faith is no longer a requisite
for spiri-tual practice. I do not have to swallow the whole thing
and feel left
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430 PAUL C. COOPER
alone in the dark if I dont. Again, her language points back
toher early relationship with her mother with regard to the
failedmidnight feedings. In contrast to her strict observance of
therules discussed previously, Sara would not participate in
thoseaspects of her practice that were more informal and less
rigidlydefined. She avoided group activities. For example, she
rarelyattended services. When she did, she would not remain for
socialactivities with the larger community after the close of the
formalworship. She experienced the former as a threat to her
self-esteem. The latter were less personal, more predictable,
andnot so threatening. She described feeling safely contained
byformal worship and prayer.3 Her concerns centered around
non-acceptance, criticism, negative judgments, and a resulting
feelingthat she does not exist. The whole congregation came to
beviewed as bad mothers. The edifice became an engulfing motherthat
threatened to swallow up Sara.
Neurological Impairments
Saras need for an external structure to support the growthof a
self is further complicated by the reality of severe neurologi-cal
impairments. Although obvious even to the casual observer,Saras
problems were actively denied by both of her parents intoher adult
life. This active and overt denial continues in the pres-ent and
takes the form of constant criticisms, pressures, de-mands,
threats, and intrusions. On some level, the parents seemto have
begun to accept Saras difficulties and recently arrangedfor an
apartment for her. However, they prefer to view Sara aslazy,
stupid, and exploitative. In fact, this denial is so ingrainedthat
when Sara sought remedial help as a young adult and hadbeen
formally diagnosed as learning disabled by two indepen-dent
diagnosticians, her parents refused to accept the evalua-tion.
Since then, Sara has chosen to limit contact with her family.She
has qualified for Social Security benefits for the disabled.She was
accepted into a special college program for disabled stu-dents and
has since graduated. While in attendance, she becamea highly
successful tutor of reading and statistics. However,
heridentification with her mothers unrelenting criticism became
sodeeply embedded in her character that at times she continued
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 431
to experience an immobilizing anxiety around this
self-identifica-tion as lazy, stupid, small, and at times
nonexisting.
Saras neurological impairments required the external struc-ture
provided by those aspects of the Judaic tradition that
shegravitated toward. She uses certain practices to modulate
un-manageable affect states and to attempt to order and
organizewhat can be at times a confusing perception of both her
innerand outer worlds. For example, daily prayer recitation,
whichSara dutifully performs at specific times, has become an
integralaspect of her daily practice. Prayer is her meditation.
Rare fail-ures to exercise prayer practice would seem to derail her
entireday and stir up feelings of inadequacy, failure, guilt, and
anxiety.Intense oversaturation of these affect states seems to
obliterateany sense of her skills, abilities, and positive sense of
herself.At these times, practice becomes another harsh and
demandingmother. Mothers presence, both within and without
becomesintensely overwhelming. Sara then experiences herself as
nonex-istent. Moreover, this I dont exist self can be extremely
solid,brittle, and resistant to any loosening.
Pushing Edges
I became aware of and began to question an emerging andconsuming
intense desire to change Sara. But I decided to lether be. Could
she be exactly who she is in my presence indepen-dently of any
activity or lack of any activity (Cooper, 2000)? AsWinnicott (1971)
asserts, Doing and being done to. But firstbeing (p. 85). Sara
began putting me to the test by pressingthe edges of my offered
acceptance. Depression intensified. Shestarted cutting classes,
avoiding the synagogue, skipping prayerpractice, and pressuring me
for telephone sessions. She spenther days lying in bed or playing
electronic games on her com-puter. Her anxiety and guilt
intensified. She feared being dis-missed by me: I would shun her,
not unlike her mother. Sheexpected me to become impatient and
criticize her for beinglazy and stupid. Instead, I expressed an
interest in the com-puter games that were occupying her attention.
She backed offon herself a bit and said that the games were
probably therapeu-tic with regard to visualmotor training and
eyehand coordina-
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432 PAUL C. COOPER
tion. I agreed but also questioned her need to be rational,
practi-cal, and purposeful. The thought that she could simply enjoy
thegames just for fun seemed alien and threatening.
Sara talked in a self-deprecating way about the time shespent
watching television. Again, I expressed an interest in thetypes of
shows that she enjoyed watching. These were light, re-freshing
moments in sessions that otherwise felt oppressive andheavy. Time
could come to an unbearable halt. Her constantquestioning would
draw only a blank from me and I would lether know. Sara would say,
Why am I like this? I would re-spond, I dont know. She would press,
Why dont you answerme? I would respond, I am drawing a blank. She
continuedunrelentingly and experienced my lack of articulate
responsive-ness and cold and withholding. I would feel pressured
and bat-tered by her seeming helplessness.
This dynamic, which persisted throughout the therapy in
anintractable way, diminished upon interpretation of the
pervasiveobject dimension of the transference. I said, You
experienceme as your harsh and withholding mother, yet you pressure
methe same way you described to me that she pressures you. Itseems
that mother takes over in these moments. The roomlightened up. Sara
visibly relaxed. There was a sigh of relief. Theheavy, oppressive
feeling in the air evaporated.
Diving into the Abyss
However, this interpretation of the pervasive object
trans-ference had inadvertently cut loose, for the moment, an
anchora toxic anchor, but an anchor none the less. Sara
describedherself as floating or falling down into an abyss that
seemed bot-tomless. I was tempted to break her falla reaction to my
ownanxiety. (Perhaps this was an identification with mothers
anxi-ety. Mother would not let Sara go too far away from her,
despiteher seemingly paradoxical demand that Sara take care of
her-self.) Realizing this mix of both real and induced anxiety, I
main-tained my stance and allowed her fall. I simply let her be.
Fallingis fine if that is what is occurring. Why place a negative
value onit? Reversals in perspective challenge the negative
assumption(Rhode, 1997).
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 433
Sara could be plummeting into a psychic death or througha birth
canal and into life. She might test the limits of toleranceof
psychic death and deadening processes or give birth to a self.Both
might occur in rapid oscillation at speeds too dizzying foraccurate
perception. Life and death intertwined. The simultane-ous death of
aspects and birth of others constitutes essentialmovements of fluid
psychic processes (Eigen, 1998). For nowSara was floating in an
abyss/birth canal. If I acted on my needfor security, it would
deprive Sara of her experience. Wherewould she land? Would she
land? Perhaps she would fall end-lessly and disappear forever. Like
the incredible shrinking man,she would disappear into infinity, or
into the dark hole of her-self, or into the space where a self
might have been. Almost envi-ous, I became fascinated with her fall
into infinity, and asked herto share it with me. We began falling
together. What appears asbottomless is also new and unknown, and
holds the potential forsomething creative to evolve. Something was
stirring up. Sud-denly, Sara landed.
Suppose I went for a walk in the park during my break,read a
book, went over to the museum? That would not makeme a terrible
person, would it? Something new was occurring,despite its
inextricable intertwining with early transference mani-festations
and an associated anxiety. Perhaps the latter were as-pects of
afterbirth and simply needed to be cleared away. Couldroom be made
for this nascent self? Or would their weedlikeproliferation once
more ensure and suffocate the possibilities ofselfhood out of Sara?
The pervasion of the object is insidiousand unrelenting. I once
again become a withholding and harshrejecting mother while Sara
begins to actively press into me inthe same way she describes her
mothers intrusions. For in-stance, an exclusive focus on Saras
sense of self, which she de-scribed as not existing, began to
dominate the discussion. Sararepeatedly complained of non existing.
This not-existing self hasbecome very solidself reified to a
nihilistic extreme. This no-self fills up the room, swallows me up.
She wants me to swallowher up. She wants to crawl inside of me
where it will be safe.Birth has become terrifying and dangerous.
The womb feelssafer, despite its paranoid-schizoid dynamics. She
beats me upwith her helplessness, neediness, and terror. I have
lost sight of
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434 PAUL C. COOPER
any situational dynamics and of myself. None of my
validationshave any impact. Sara spits them out like unwanted food
in themiddle of the night. Like her mother, she rejects me out
ofhand. She demands my help and refuses it at the same time. Canshe
have an impact on me? Will it take an explosion? If so, whowill be
left to respond? Fragments fly everywhere, dissolving intothe abyss
of her dark, bottomless center.
Sara cannot associate or tap into any fantasy. The prospectseems
much too dangerous and leads only to nonverbal regres-sion and
dissociation (she has no recollection of her rage reac-tions, which
she finds extremely disconcerting). Emerging trans-ference and
countertransference dynamics remain neglected oroverlooked. Yet
they are intense and vividly clear. I have blindedmyself to the
unitive experience and resist merger with thisprimitive,
persecuting mother through expressions of overt sar-casm and
intense sleepiness (Kohut, 1971). Treatment bound-aries become
obliterated. Sara owes me too much money. Shecalls me frequently on
the telephone. She has trouble leaving atthe end of sessions and
tries to intrude into the next patientssession. She has burned her
way through the treatment con-tainer like hot coals in a paper cup.
We have engendered andnegotiated a difficult birth. We have a mess
to clean up.
From the perspective of the idealizing transference
(Kohut,1971), Sara relies on the function of anchoring and
containing.By my failure to provide this function, through
inadvertently ex-cessive gratification (telephone calls, unpaid
fees, breaking thetime frame), Sara is cast adrift on an ocean of
despair. Mean-while, I am feeling enraged, battered, and out of
control. I can-not tolerate anything about her. Her physical
appearance be-comes repulsive to me. Sara intrudes into my life, my
thoughts,my dreams, and my own analytic sessions. I am also feeling
help-less. Any move on my part would, I imagine, feel like a
sadisticretaliation, regardless of whether it really is. I am
beginning toenjoy her pain. I remain silent and cut Sara off in the
same wayshe described that her mother would as an expression of
heranger and displeasure: She wouldnt talk to me for weeks at
atime. Yet I feel what Sara describes it is like to be so
over-whelmed by motherspeechless, helpless, like a piece of
drift-wood floating on a vast and turbulent ocean of mother.
Intense
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 435
rage builds up. Rage, best managed in the treatment, spills
outto various service providers. At one point, Sara almost gets
ar-rested. Not unlike my container, the security of her
subsidizedresidency is jeopardized. Sara becomes filled with
anxiety. Shecan vent her rage at these various service providers,
but not atme. She will drown me and lose me in the process. She
willdrown. Her affective life is shut down in an effort to
maintainher connection to me (Atwood & Stolorow, 1984).
Identification and Awareness
Initially, Sara could not tolerate any conscious sense of
iden-tification with her mother. This first became apparent when
Sararelayed a conversation that she had during a breakup with a
manshe had been dating. She mobilized enormous confidence
andstrength to deal with a man who was actively abusive toward
her.Her strength and confidence were amazing to me. This also
castlight on her need to present to me as helpless. However,
myobservation to Sara that she might possess some of her
mothersgood or useful qualities was so unsettling to her that any
con-scious aspects were actively and immediately split off. Now
thisidentification with her mother was once again in the
ascendancein relation to me. Once we began to actively address the
identifi-cation in the here and now, the situation changed. To
summa-rize a series of sessions:
No wonder you feel like you dont exist; mom is all over the
placeand there is no room for you. You experience me like your
cold,angry, cutting-off, withholding mother who doesnt take care
ofyou. I dont return your calls, I cut back your sessions until
youpay your bills, and I insist that you leave promptly at the end
ofthe sessions. On the other hand, you treat me the very same
wayyou say she treats you.
Within a few weeks the treatment stabilized. In
retrospect,although my perception of feeling states and experiences
wasquite vivid, until the actual familial interaction patterns
unfoldedin the transference and countertransferencespecifically,
thepervasive object transferencethe treatment remained at an
im-passe. Saras expectation was that I, like her father, would
acqui-esce to her demands, and that if she, not unlike her
mother,
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436 PAUL C. COOPER
continued to exert pressure, I would wimp out like her
father,her sisters, and herself. However, underneath these
relationaldynamics lurked a deeper, more primitive, largely
unconsciousperception. I operated like a cold, harsh, withholding,
demand-ing, perfection-seeking, pressuring mother. How
frightening!How disappointing to watch Saras castle dissolve in the
sand,becoming obliterated with the ebbing and rising of the
emo-tional tides that we were clumsily navigating.
Actually, Sara expressed relief that I remained firm. She
feltreassured and anchored. My assertion of treatment parameters,my
interpretation that for Sara treatment parameters became an-other
harsh demanding mother who gives nothing in return, andmy
expression of understanding of her reactions all contributedto this
process. She felt anchored and returned to the syna-gogue. She
began to study again and aced an important finalexam. This work
paved the way for addressing issues aroundSaras need to feel
separate as reflected in her need for validat-ing reassurance as
she continued to pursue her education andher spiritual practice,
which symbolically represent the birth andgrowth of a self.
Transference Versus Didactic
Saras prayer practice seems to be gradually generalizinginto her
daily routines and seems to contribute to a diminutionof her
negative self-perceptions and dysfunctional behaviors. Attimes she
also can access states of peace, well-being, ecstasy, andwhat she
describes as her place of oneness with life. This caseexample
demonstrates the efficacy of working through the
trans-ference/countertransference dynamic rather than through
di-rect educational measures. In terms of the adaptive
functionsthat spiritual practice served for Sara, any introduction
of medi-tation in the form of direct instruction would have been
invalid-ating, intrusive, and terrifying. Although I understand the
effec-tiveness of meditation techniques for learning-disabled
andanxious individuals (Cooper, 1983, 1984; Richard, 1972), an
ac-tive educational intervention on my part would be
experiencedtransferentially as the nonvalidating hypercritical
mother whodictates to Sara every step of the way. This would
constitute a
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PERVASION OF THE OBJECT 437
serious structural threat to the supportive function that her
self-generated spiritual discipline served. Sara would interpret
suchan intervention as the critical mother who asserts: You must
bestupid, you dont know what you are doing, you must do thingsmy
way and my way only. This is, among other aspects of thetreatment
situation, how she experienced my strict adherenceto appointment
times. However, to return to my original pointconcerning the
ascertainment and perception of the interdepen-dently arising
transference/countertransference dynamic, al-though I was attuned
to Saras self-experience, I did not fullyascertain the transference
repetitions based on our actual inter-actions. The overemphasis on
her self-states, without much dis-cussion or exploration of the
impact of my interpretations, leftus at an impasse. My
interpretations assumed enough of a selfto respond to and take in
the symbolic feeding function of inter-pretation. Furthermore, they
assumed that it was Sara who wasbeing responded to. Experience
demonstrates otherwise. My ini-tial understanding or
misunderstanding led me to believe thatSara was empathically
understood. However, any understandingthat was engendered remained
incomplete. I speculated thatSara felt safe enough to allow
split-off feelings back into aware-ness and out in the open.
However, over time, we obviouslyfound ourselves caught in an
impasse. There would be no move-ment in the treatment.
In retrospect, I realized that all of my explanations centeredon
Saras sense of self-experience from her own side. They didnot take
account of the subjective impact of the interpretationsand
behaviors, which Sara experienced as harsh parental criti-cisms,
intrusions, withdrawals, and rejections. Simultaneously,Sara was
responding to me in the same way her mother re-sponded to her, that
is, in cycles of intrusion, rejection, criticism,and pressure. Such
interpretations engendered a reliving of pastself and object
interaction patterns. The most predominant pat-tern was of a father
who lacked the capacity for appropriateemotional involvement and
who was disconnected to the pointof delusion, coupled with a mother
whose ambivalent and con-fusing overinvolvement was inappropriately
mediated in termsof her own narcissism. She exerted control but not
any caring.
Sara tends to wall herself off from her mothers narcissistic
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438 PAUL C. COOPER
demands. However, this need precedes the development of
acohesive or viable sense of self. There is no self to experience
ortake in self-oriented interventions. What emerges, as noted
be-fore, is an I dont exist self. However, this I dont exist selfis
very brittle and resistant to movement. School, housework,religion,
and I all become demanding mothers. Sara becomeswalled off,
depressed, inattentive, and bored. My own inatten-tiveness,
boredom, and fatigue become multiply determined. Onthe one hand is
the emerging need to maintain my own auton-omy, identity, and
separateness (Kohut, 1971). On the otherhand, these states reflect
a resonance with Saras emotionalstates. Consistent attention to
manifestations of the pervasive ob-ject gradually contribute to an
attenuation of depressive symp-toms through the clearing away of
pervasive object elements andcreate the space for the birth of a
self.
NOTES1. For a detailed theoretical and clinical discussion of
the ramifications and
manifestations of psychic deadness, see Eigen (1996).2.
Dependent arising from the Buddhist perspective refers to the
contextual
nature of self experience.3. See Clouds into Rain (Cooper, 2001)
for a detailed discussion of the con-
tainer and contained in relation to spiritual practice.
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The Psychoanalytic ReviewVol. 89, No. 3, June 2002
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