Conflict Resolution for Kids

Doing the Right Thing: How to Communicate Effectively

Mafia Invasion of English Conversation Club!

How to play: Everyone gets up and walks around. You play the game by

spending 2-3 minutes with one person and discussing a questions from the list of “English Conversation Questions.” Each person discusses the question. After 2-3 minutes, you find a new discussion partner.

One or two people are the “Mafia” Everyone else is an “Innocent Student” The Mafia kill students by winking at them one time If an innocent student is killed, he or she must not let anyone know

until he/she has talked with another partner. After he/she has talked with one more partner, he/she must go to the cemetery.

If you are an innocent student and think you know who the murderer is, you may announce it to the class! But if you are wrong, you also have to go to the cemetery.

Mafia Invasion of English Conversation Club!

How do you win? The Murderers win if no one catches them by

the end of the game time The Innocent Civilians win if they can

correctly identify the Murderers before time is up

English Conversation Questions

1. Tell me about your family 2. What do you like to do in your free time? 3. Describe the best holiday you've ever been on.

Where did you go and what did you do? 4. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What

will you be doing and how will your life have changed?

5. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why? What would you do with that power?

Mafia Invasion!

DISCUSSION Did this game make you feel anxious or

nervous? How does it change the way you act when you

feel threatened and worried that something bad will happen?

How did it feel when you were killed?

Fear

This game made a lot of people feel nervous or afraid.

When people are afraid, it is harder to express yourself and deal with problems

Today we will talk about how to overcome these feelings of fear and do what is right—protect yourself and respect others—in any situation

The technique we will be talking about today is called “Conflict Management”

Dealing with Conflict: Acting Assertively

People often fall into one of three types of behavior:

Passive Assertive Aggressive

What do you think these

words mean?

Passive: caring only about what other people want

Passive people: Tend to give in to other people's wishes while

forgetting their own needs and wants. Have a difficult time saying no to people. Often have a hard time making decisions. Avoid confrontation at all costs (e.g. not

speaking up when the waiter brings you fish instead of chicken).

Aggressive: caring only about what you want

Aggressive people: Tend to be concerned only for their needs and not

others' needs. Easily get angry. May shout or use bully techniques to get their way. May openly criticize or find fault with others’ ideas,

opinions, or behaviors. Often use confrontation to get what they want.

Assertive: caring about other people and yourself at the same time

Assertive people: Are concerned with both their

needs and other people's needs. Remain calm and are good

communicators Are able to respond in a

respectful manner when there is a disagreement.

Are confident and able to make decisions.

Are responsible for their own feelings and behavior.

Real-Life Example

Someone pushes in front of you in line. Passive Reaction: does nothing Aggressive Reaction: verbally attacks the intruder, yells, at him

or her, or threatens him or her Passive-Aggressive Reaction: does not deal directly with the

intruder, but looks to others or mutters quietly Assertive Reaction: 1. Describes the situation: “Excuse me. As you can see there is a

line here for the cash and several of us have been waiting for some time.” 2. Express personal feelings: “I don’t feel it’s fair for you to jump in.” 3. Say what should be done: “and really think you should be fair and go to the end of the queue.”

What Should Shynar Do?

Shynar is an intelligent and attractive young woman. Recently, a boy in her class has become interested in her. The boy keeps asking Shynar to go to the movies with him, or to go to dinner with him.

Shynar, however, is not interested. She has nicely told the boy that she doesn’t have time to go out with him, but he won’t give up. Shynar is starting to get annoyed, and maybe even a little afraid of what the boy might do in the future if she keeps refusing to go out with him. What should she do?

What Should Shynar Do?What would be the assertive thing to say in this situation?

1. Describe the situation:

“Even though I have said that I am not interested in you as more than a friend, you keep asking me to go out with you.”

2. Express personal feelings:

“You are making me very frustrated by continuing to ask me out even though I am not interested.”

3. Say what should be done:

“If you care about me, you will stop bothering me about this right now.”

What Should Shynar Do?

What are some factors that could influence Shynar’s response in this situation?

What if the boy is a good friend?

What if the boy gets very angry and aggressive when _ Shynar says she doesn’t want to go out with him?

What should Shynar do if she feels unsafe?

Will Darkhan Do the Right Thing?

Recently, a new student joined one of Darkhan’s classes. While everyone in the class is from Almaty, or has at least been living in Almaty for a long time, this new student, named Daniyar, is from a small town somewhere in the south of Kazakhstan. He dresses differently, and even speaks differently from the other students—but Daniyar is very friendly and is trying hard to fit in. Unfortunately, some students have begun to tease him. The bullies refuse to sit next to him, and when he speaks they ignore him. Darkhan just heard one of the students tell Daniyar “You should go back to where you came from. No one wants you here!” What should Darkhan do?

Will Darkhan Do the Right Thing?

What would be the assertive thing to say in this situation?

1. Describe the situation:

“Ever since Daniyar arrived, you and a few other students have decided to bully him instead of making him feel welcome.”

2. Express personal feelings:

“This embarrasses me because it is important that we treat all people with respect. In addition, maybe someday I will be a new person at university or work, and I don’t want people to be cruel or mean to me like you are being to Daniyar.”

3. Say what should be done:

“Let’s make it our project to help Daniyar feel welcome here. We are all a team and must work together. If you don’t like that, then you should not say anything at all.”

:::::THANK YOU!