Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

Win-Win SolutionsConflict Resolution

1ConflictWhen two people Disagree on an issue.Quarreling and Conflicts are healthy and not signs of a bad relationship. It is how the conflict is handled that can be the problem.Many conflicts occur because of peoples different opinions. How do you handle conflicts?

Conflict Personality2When I take the other persons rights into account and not my own.Dont express your true feelingsAlways agreesApologeticAvoids ignores leavesPowerlessnessHandle Conflict by doing nothingPassive Behavior$5.003Believing we have a right to have ideas and feelings. Standing up for our rights and still respecting the rights of others.Effective active listenerStates limits, expectationsDecisiveOperates from choiceEye ContactHandle conflict by using problem solving.Assertive Behavior$5.004Takes their own rights into account and not the other persons. Feel that everyone should be like them.They are never wrong.Closed mindedInterruptsDomineering/BullyingHandle conflict by harming others. Aggressive Behavior$5.005Sure you may borrow my umbrella. (passive)

You did it wrong. (aggressive)

When are you going to come back? (assertive)

Gets bumped in the hall (all 3 types)

If each type were an animal, which would they be?

How would each style say this?(Do with your table partner)Do Responses in Study Guide

6Conflict Resolution: Resolve conflicts in a positive way.Done by looking at things from anothers perspective (point of view), trying to see their point of viewthen looking for a solution that meets both underlying needs.

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What do you see? What does your table partner see?8

Moving or Still?9

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Eskimo or Indian?11

What isThis?12

Young or OldWoman?13

Young or OldWoman?14Car SharingYour family has one car. You need to go to a meeting tonight, and your Mom needs to go grocery shopping. How many Solutions can you come up with?

Cake Cutting ExerciseYou are in charge of a Birthday party for four Children. You have one square cake and need to cut it in 4 equal parts. Brainstorm with your partner how many different ways you could cut it.

Conflict Resolution is Brainstorming All Possible Solutions that meets both peoples needs.

2 groups do the car sharing and 2 groups do the cake cutting.15Or,cut it in equal layersETC16Who Owns the Problem?What is the Owners responsibility?The person who is negatively affected by the Problem. To find a way to resolve the problem, even if he is not the Cause of it.

17Win-Lose: The Door-MatLose-Lose: The Downward SpiralWin-Win: The All You Can Eat Buffet

3 Endings to Conflict Resolution

18What Does Work?Assertive Techniques,

Win-Win Attitude,

Co-operation

Negotiation

19What Doesnt Work?Yelling, Refusing to change or compromiseRefusing to work out the conflictName calling Hitting Walking outBelittlingMost Passive and Aggressive BehaviorsDESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION!

How do you react when someone uses power to force you to do something? FightFlight / AvoidanceObedience/ Shutting Down20Hug OWar by Shel Silverstein

I will not play at tug o' warI'd rather play at hug o' war,Where everyone hugsInstead of tugsWhere everyone gigglesAnd rolls on the rug,Where everyone kissesAnd everyone grinsAnd everyone cuddlesAnd everyone wins.

21TRADING SMATT 237

Play this game22Win-Win Conflict Resolution:

A belief that everyone can win by co-operation and seeing perspectives. Avoiding competition and comparing.

Steps to a Win-Win conflict Resolution in the study guide.

Will go into more detail on this during marriage unit. 23Shape drawShape or broken squares activity or other quick activity24When is Conflict Positive?When we are able to resolve internal and interpersonal conflicts, Using win-win problem solving.Every relationship will have some conflicts at some time or other.When we use win-win problem solving, it strengthen the relationship.When we dont, it destroys it.

Follow these steps25Give a description of the problem that respects all involved.Explain how conflict resolution can enable all to win, and explain the steps.Include only those concerned.Agree not to slip back to the win lose methodsFind a good time and place with no distractions. Get something to write down ideas.

1. Preparation 26Use I Messages to explain your own concerns, needs and basic goalsUse reflective listening to hear and acknowledge the others needs and basic goalsEvaluate exactly what each of your actual needs are with the problem. List needs.Dont accept sudden promises not to cause the problem

2. Identify the problem or issues27 Think of any and all possible ways to solve the problem so that everyone will have needs met. Evaluate later NOT NOW Do not criticize any suggestion. Feed back with reflective listening Write down all ideas suggested.

3. Brainstorm to Generate all possible solutions. 28Ask Will it work? Does it meet all the needs of both people? Are there any problems likely?Dont accept solutions for the sake of speedUse reflective listening and I Messages

4. Evaluate the alternative solutions 29Find a solutions that is mutually acceptable to both of you. . If agreement seems difficult, Summarize areas of agreement. Restate needs, and look for new solutions.Make certain that both of you are committed to the solution

5. Decide on the best solution30Write this down and check all agree to itRefuse to remind or police the solutionsIf you want to set criteria for success, work out these nowGet Agreement on who does what by when

6. Implementing the Solutions 31If the agreed upon solution doesnt work, remember it is the solution that failed, not the person, and seek for a new solution.Ask from time to time if the solution is working for both of you. Carry out agreed method. Wait to see if the conflicts seems resolved. 7. Follow-up evaluation32Results of Win-Win SolutionsMore creative in Thinking up solutionsTake more responsibility for helping everyone have needs metFeeling of mutual respect Love grows deeper with every conflict resolved.

33GRADING SHEET: Choose two students to evaluate your presentation. One point for each item displayed in your role play.Have them sign your paper and then Switch. Share or work on your Conflict Dialogue with another group.34