Conflict Management & Team Ministry Part Two Power Point Presentation Developed by Glen Dawursk, Jr. .

Conflict Management & Team Ministry

Part Two

Power Point Presentation Developed by Glen Dawursk, Jr.

www.yuthguy.com

Power Point Presentation Developed by Glen Dawursk, Jr.

Using Information and Samples supplied by Peacemakers, Inc., Billings, MT

WWW.HISPEACE.ORG

Conflict

What is What is Conflict?Conflict?

What is Conflict?

A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.

Due to sin, it is inevitable and should be expected.

What Causes Conflict?

Misunderstandings

DifferencesValues Goals Gifts Calling Priorities

Expectations Interests Opinions

Competition over limited resources

Sinful attitudes & desires that lead to sinful words and actions

Conflict resolution:Conflict resolution:Our Way

Sinful; Unfulfilling

No real peace

For many Christians: “devotional theology”

Conflict resolution:Conflict resolution:God’s Way

Effective

Systematic

Biblical

We are guided by what God commands us to do.

Glorify God:How can I please &

honor the Lord in this situation?

Get the Log out of your eyeHow have I contributed to this conflict & what

do I need to do to resolve it?

The FourFour G’s

Go and show your brother his faultHow can I help others to understand how they

have contributed to this conflict?

Go and be reconciledHow can I demonstrate forgiveness

& encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?

The FourFour G’s

We are inspired & empowered by what God has already done…

and continues to do for us!

We are inspired & empowered by what God has already done…

and continues to do for us!

Just Da Facts…

We are powerless to do good or make peace by our own strength

The foundation for true peacemaking & reconciliation is through Jesus; grace

Jesus is the perfect model of a peacemaker

The SituationThe Situation

The ConflictThe Conflict

How would we respond to this Conflict?

A Spectrum of Responses to Conflict

Escape Responses

Escape Responses

•DenialDenial

•BlameBlame

•Flight or SuicideFlight or Suicide

Escape Responses are “Peace Faking”

They are directed at getting away from the conflict situation rather

than resolving it.

Pretends that a conflict doesn’t exist

Refuses to do what we can to work it out

Always the wrong response

Escape Responses

Denial

Escape Responses

We don’t take responsibility for our choices by:• Blaming others• Pretending we did nothing wrong• Covering up what we did• Lying about our contribution to the conflict

Always the Wrong response.

Blame Game

Escape Responses

Acceptable if there is a danger of harm Legitimate response when it is impossible to

resolve the conflict in a constructive manner BUTBUT Prolongs the problems

Flight

Escape Responses

This is always the wrong response

SuicidSuicidee

A Spectrum of Responses to Conflict

Attack Responses

Attack Responses

•LitigationLitigation

•AssaultAssault

•MurderMurder

Attack Responses are “Peace Breaking”

They are directed at bringing as

much pressure on the opponents in order to eliminate their opposition.

Litigation

Attack Responses

Taken before civil authorities At times this is legitimate Should be used ONLY after exhausting

“work-it-out” responses

Attack Responses

Use force or intimidation to get your demands• Physical (Fights)• Verbal (Put downs, Gossip)• Financial

AssaultAssault::

Attack Responses

Kill the person or persons who oppose you Murder is always wrong Harbored anger or contempt in our hearts

MurderMurder

A Spectrum of Responses to Conflict

CONCILIATION

Conciliation Responses

•OverlookOverlook

•DiscussionDiscussion

•NegotiationNegotiation

Un-Assisted

Consiliation Responses are “Peace Making”

They are directed at finding a just &

mutually agreeable solution

to a conflict.

Conciliation Responses

One person deliberately, unilaterally, & quietly decides to forgive a wrong…

Then walks away from the conflict.

Overlook an Offense

““A man’s wisdom gives him A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to over- patience; it is to his glory to over-

look an offense.” Prov. 19:11look an offense.” Prov. 19:11

Conciliation Responses

Go directly to the person – Talk it out!This can include personal confession, or confronting in a kind way.Used if you can not overlook it or if it is hurting your relationship

Discussion““If your brother has something If your brother has something

against you… go and be against you… go and be reconciled.” Matt. 18:15reconciled.” Matt. 18:15

Negotiation

Conciliation Responses

Substantive issues related to money, property, and other rights should be resolved by negotiating solutions that meet interests of all involvedUsually done through a bargaining process

““Each of you should look not only Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to to your own interests, but also to

the interests of others..” the interests of others..” Phil. 2:4Phil. 2:4

Conciliation Responses

•MediationMediation

•ArbitrationArbitration

•Church DisciplineChurch Discipline

Assisted

Mediation

Conciliation Responses

Ask one or more other people to meet with you and the other personGoal: to help you communicate more effectively & explore possible solutions.Mediators give advise but have no authority.

““If he will not listen [to you], If he will not listen [to you], take one or two others along.” take one or two others along.”

Matt. 18:16Matt. 18:16

Arbitration

Conciliation Responses

Can not come to a mutual agreement on a substantive issue -- appoint an Arbitrator.Arbitrator.

Will listen to both sides, Will listen to both sides, then render a binding decision.then render a binding decision.

““If you have disputes about such If you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even matters, appoint as judges even

men of little account in the men of little account in the church.” Cor. 6:1-9church.” Cor. 6:1-9

Church Discipline

Conciliation Responses

If a Christian refuses to reconcile, church leaders may interveneIntended to promote justice, repentance & forgiveness

““If he refuses to listen to [others], If he refuses to listen to [others], tell it to the church.” tell it to the church.”

Matt. 18:17-20Matt. 18:17-20

But Our Responses Vary.

So did the responses of God’s people in the Bible.

Let’s Try…

Let’s see how well you understand the “Slippery Slope” and the responses to conflict.

You will be given a Biblical situation. Checkout the scriptural references and then determine the following:

1.1. The response from the “Slippery Slope”The response from the “Slippery Slope”

2.2. Whether it was a “good” or “foolish” responseWhether it was a “good” or “foolish” response

Quiz TimeSample:Sample:

Conflict Situation:Adam & Eve are confronted with their sin (Gen. 3:8-13)

Response: Denial (they played the “Blame Game”)

Foolish or Wise Response? Foolish

Quiz Time1) Abraham’s response to the friction between Sarai & Hagar (Gen. 16:6)

Denial combined with half-hearted arbitration; Foolish

2) Hagar’s response to Sarai’s persecution (Gen. 16:6-8)

Flight; Foolish

3) Joseph’s response when Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him (Gen. 39:11-12)

Flight; Wise

4) Potiphar’s wife’s response when Joseph spurned her advances (Gen. 39:13-18)

Assault, apparently combined with pressing false legalcharges; Foolish

Quiz Time5) Pharaoh’s response to plagues God brought upon him (Ex. 7:1-12:36)Denial; Foolish

6) Saul’s response to David when he won the hearts of the people (1 Sam. 18:1-16)Assault and attempted murder; Foolish

7) David’s response to Saul’s attempts to kill him (1 Sam. 19:9-12)Flight; Wise (David ran away to avoid a direct physical confrontation with Saul)

8) Solomon’s response to the dispute over the prostitute’s baby (1 Kings 3:16-28)Arbitration or Litigation (Decision by the civil authority); Wise

Quiz Time9) Daniel’s response to the command to eat unclean food (Dan. 1:8-16)

Negotiation; Wise (One of the best examples of collaborative negotiation in the Bible)

10) Jonah’s response to God’s command to go to Nineveh (Jonah 1:3)

First, Flight; Foolish THEN Suicide; Foolish THEN after repenting, he listened to God (Discussion); Wise BUT inthe end he fell into Denial & a desire for death; Foolish

11) Joseph’s response when Herod was searching for Jesus (Matt. 2:13-15)

Flight; Wise

Quiz Time12) Judas Iscariot’s response to the inner conflict he felt after betraying Jesus (Matt. 27:5)

Suicide; Foolish

13) The Corinthian’s response to legal conflicts with one another (1 Cor. 6:1-8)

Litigation; Foolish

14) The apostle’s response to the conflict about distributing food (Acts 6:1-7)

Mediation and/or Arbitration (their proposed solution “pleased the whole group.” It is unclear whether it was a suggestion or a binding decision); Wise (Good leaders build consensus rather than impose solutions.)

Quiz Time15) Barnabas’ response to the conflict between Saul and the apostles (Acts 9:26-28)

Mediation; Wise

16) Peter’s response when Jewish Christians complained about teaching Gentiles (Acts 11:1-18)

Discussion and Negotiation; Wise

17) The Philippian slave owner’s response to Paul (Acts 16:16-22)

Litigation (unjust use of civil process), resulting in assault; Foolish

Quiz Time18) Paul’s response to Peter’s support of the circumcision group (Acts 15:1-29; Gal. 2:11-21)

Discussion, followed by an appeal to the church for arbitration and discipline (Counsel at Jerusalem); Wise

19) Paul’s response when charged with crimes in Jerusalem (Acts 24:1-26:32)

Discussion (tried to reason with crowd), with final resort tolitigation (civil authorities) after a delioberate choice to bypass the church courts because they were “stacked” against him; Wise

Quiz Time20) The Pharisees’ response to JesusFIRST: Discussion (more to trap Jesus than to reason or understand Him); SECOND: Church Discipline (corrupted); THEN: Litigation (also corrupted); NEXT: Assault (verbal & physical); FINALLY: Murder (they instigated it) – all wereFoolish and sinful. Only Nicodemus responded properly toChrist with discussion leading to conversation.

BONUS: God’s response to our sin (Gospel)God had Patience & Forgiveness (Overlook); He sent Jesusto be our “High Priest” (Mediator); He was convicted for oursins (Litigation); Suffered pain for our sins (Assault); and hewas crucified for us (Murder); Wise.

The Peacemaker’s PledgePeacemaker’s Pledge

Glorify God: Focus on God – not ourselves Seek to maintain a loving, merciful

& forgiving attitude

Get the Log out of your eye Take responsibility for our contribution Confess our sins to God Ask Him to change our conflicting attitude & habits Seek to repair any harm

Go and show your brother his fault Don’t pretend conflict is gone Choose to overlook minor offenses or Follow Matthew 18

Go and be reconciled Actively pursue genuine peace &

reconciliation Forgive others Seek just & mutually beneficial solutions

The Peacemaker’s PledgePeacemaker’s Pledge

OOPS!

Dear Lord,

I have a lot to learn about conflict and how to handle it better. Most of the time I respond by

escaping or attacking.

I can see now that those responses make my conflicts worse and even hurt my relationships with others.

Teach me how to be a peacemaker Lord.

In Jesus name. Amen

Conflict Management & Team Ministry

Part Two

Power Point Presentation Developed by Glen Dawursk, Jr.

www.yuthguy.com