COMMUNITY CULTURE AND IDENTITY - Richard Nongard · American Airlines recent difficulty with creating a new post-merger culture is impacting customer satisfaction, and at least in

COMMUNITY, CULTURE, AND IDENTITY

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DR. RICHARD K. NONGARD

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Community , Culture , & Identity: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Dr. Richard K. Nongard Copyright © 2018 by Dr. Richard K. Nongard. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means - electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or any other - without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews or scholarly journals. Dr. Richard K. Nongard Peachtree Professional Education, Inc. 15560 N. Frank L. Wright Blvd. B4-118 Scottsdale, AZ 85260 (918) 236-6116 www.RichardNongard.com www.ViralLeadership.com


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CONTENTS Chapter One

Community, Culture, and Identity ...................... 6

Chapter TwoViral Leadership: How to Cure Prospecting Fatigue .................... 13

Chapter ThreeMoving Into Intention .......................................... 18

Chapter Four3 Ways to Lead Your Business to Long-Term Success ......................................... 21

Chapter FiveStep Past The Biggest Myth About Leadership and Unleash Transformation Now .................. 26

Chapter SixA Powerful Lesson in Leadership Empathy ...... 30

Chapter SevenThe New Morning Routine to Start Off in the Lead ....................................... 34

Chapter EightHow Sharing Through Storytelling Can Activate Leadership Right Now ....................... 37


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www.RichardNongard.com

Dr. Richard Nongard is an experienced speaker who is

engaging, easy going, and shares actionable strategies for sales professionals, leadership teams, executives and front-line

personnel. He is passionate about helping everyone uncover leadership potential and use it to create lasting change. Call Richard at (702) 418-3332 to reserve your dates.


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Get Viral Leadership from your favorite bookstore or on Amazon

www.ViralLeadership.com

“Dr. Nongard shares great insights around viral leadership and how a simple idea, like our DoubleTree by Hilton cookie, can truly transform a business.”

— Chris Nassetta, President & CEO, Hilton Worldwide Holdings, Inc.

“By activating the Four Quadrants of Viral Leadership identified in this book, you can step brilliantly into a new future.” — Randy Dobbs, Former CEO and President, General

Electric Capital—Information Technology Solutions


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CHAPTER ONE Community, Culture, and Identity

Every leader who desires to create success must engage community, align with culture and create a visible identity. It does not matter if you are creating a retail store, offering a service, or even sharing in the non-profit sector, these three hallmarks of leadership must be present to create success. I coach small businesses entrepreneurs who need this strategy and fortune 500 executives who must figure out how to scale the same concepts.

Back when I was working on my doctorate, which focused on transformation in the education sector, this is the formula that brought success. I hate to reduce it to the idea of a formula, but it has been my experience that in every industry these three things must be present for lasting business to be created.

Community, culture and identity are the building block of success at every level. When implemented correctly they build relationships, foster authenticity, create innovation and move teams. The results of focusing on these three things is lasting transformation, leaving behind a cadre of leaders and a corporate culture that is primed for seizing the power of now.

These are not extravagant promises, they have been tested by time, and proven time after time. When John Deere used a process of Appreciative Inquiry to turn around its manufacturing unit, ten new strategic


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business opportunities were launched. By engaging the community of stakeholders, which even included customers, it ended up saving John Deere millions of dollars and resulted in a faster product-development process.

When companies grows through merger and acquisition, one of the foremost issues is creating a new corporate culture that draws on the strengths of both organizations. Leadership is about recognizing that cultural integration is at the heart of success. When companies merge, like American Airlines and US Airways did, the struggles can last years. Petr Druker famously said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast” but what is unsaid in this quote is that “Strategy will get eaten-alive without a culture of engagement.” and American Airlines recent difficulty with creating a new post-merger culture is impacting customer satisfaction, and at least in my opinion when reading the financial charts, the bottom line.

Every business needs a bigger footprint. I call this identity. This is true for a local pizza shop, after all, people won’t buy a pizza if they don’t know it exists, and it is true for e-commerce and online businesses, even small ones like Etsy or Shopify stores. Without a pond to fish in, no fish can be caught. Advertising works, and I will even say it is essential, but for small businesses being able to afford ads that yield significant results can be a money sucking black hole – and I have seen it break the bank and bankrupt small businesses trying to launch without adequate funding. Leader recognize that building identity, gaining recognition, exposure and new customers must be a priority.


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Everyone knows Coca-Cola exists, yet Coke still advertises. Everyone knows FedEx delivers packages, yet they still advertise. Why? Not only is name recognition important, but being in the forefront of the customers mind makes the difference between sales and no sales. An leaders recognize that their leadership must create awareness for all the other efforts made will be moot.

Because leadership in these three areas is so essential, season one of the Viral Leadership podcast is going to focus on helping you to maximize your impact in each these areas. The value is as important for the solopreneur, as it is for the c-suite executive in the fortune 500 companies.

When you think of leadership, you know the personal qualities and attributes that should be a part of this. Authenticity, self-awareness, listening and attentiveness, and other characteristics. But Community, culture, and identity are what you should be leading.

My goal in this podcast series is to give you real-world answers for answering the question, “How do I engage the community?” In my business, I have done this by creating social media forums for professionals to discuss and find answers to their individual concerns. I have called my customers and asked them what is important to them, and I have gone to the events, even when I did not have time or was bored, that were important to or supported by customers. I go to open house events, social events, and participate both online and offline in the lives of those who have given me the ability to afford a good life for my family and me. In Chinese culture, this is called “guanxi.” In the western


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world, we expect to keep business and personal lives separate, and believe we can complete everything in a meeting. But in China, your not getting anywhere without dinner first. Without knowing the names of your customer's children, and without being able to be genuinely interested in their community.

Success comes by engaging community. Having an awesome product or service is not enough. Just tonight I went to a meet-up group. I went so that I could be a part of my local community, both to learn and help others who might benefit from my expertise. I was tired and almost didn’t go. But it turned out, I not only won a $100 random drawing for a woo-commerce gift certificate, but I also made connections with a CTO over bland pizza before the meeting, which will probably result in referrals both ways.

Success comes by aligning with culture. Too many people think exposure equals alignment. What I mean by this is that too many people think by creating a website or a business page on social media that “build it and they will come” will apply. But think about it. Why would I like a pizza place if I have never eaten their pizza? Why would I like an airline when I only have three or four choices, and none of them are any good. Not too long ago I noticed that a few of my mutual friends “liked” Wal-Mart. I just can’t imagine why the clicked that unless it was mindless clicking generated by advertising algorithms that they probably don’t even consciously know they clicked.

In social media, these pages, posts and ads often fail to produce results. Why? Because the culture of social media is community. People go to Facebook because


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they want to see pictures of their extended family, friends on vacation and eavesdrop into the unseemly side of life that some of our friends sometimes expose on social media.

A far better way to align with the culture of social media is to align with the community. Let’s say you own a muffler shop. Instead of creating the “Anytown Muffler Shop page” create a page that celebrates the community. Create a page or group called, “Anytown is Awesome!” On that page, celebrate the community. Post weather updates, civic projects an and good news about your community. Back in the day, people bought the local newspaper not because the reporting was hard-hitting and brilliant writing, but to look for the names of their children, friends and to see the places in their community. The most read pages were the announcements, high school sports sections, obituaries and police blotter. People want to know, not about us, but about their community and leadership that aligns with culture is leadership that can emerge as celebrated members of the community. And of course, if I manage the “Anytown is Awesome” page, I can then come by every once and a while and remind people that one of the awesome things in their community is my muffler shop.

Getting recognized is perhaps the biggest challenge for any business. But by far, in almost every industry, word-of-mouth is still the most effective advertising. By engaging community and aligning with the culture of those communities, people talk. And they will talk about us. And that does not have to cost an arm and leg.


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leaders recognize that by creating an identity of integrity, value, and quality, they will be supported. Reputation is a part of this, and leaders step into authenticity making these things the crown jewel of their company identity. Recently I had an employee send a customer service email that was absolutely unacceptable. In the email, she berated the customer. This is the kind of stuff negative Yelp reviews are made of. I responded by addressing the employees response directly with the customer from my personal email (and of course, with the wayward employee). I did thin because it was important that my customer sees the identity of my business as one that is responsive, and one that will recognize when we have done something wrong.

Creating a bigger footprint through advertising, word-of-mouth or even viral sensation should be at the heart of every leaders focus. It is what creates long-term success.

Ask yourself some question: • Is my business a part of the community? Is it

active in the community? Does it support people in the community? Not just at holiday time, but throughout the year?

• Ask yourself: Is my marketing really aligned with the culture of my customers? Am I speaking to them with their language, and they way they respect?

• Ask yourself: How can I tell more people about my business today? How can I ask for referrals with every sale? How can I increase my


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footprint by taking advantage of both online and offline resources for awareness.

By tapping into these three keys to viral leadership your company can seize the power of now to create lasting transformation in business.


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CHAPTER TWO Viral Leadership:

How to Cure Prospecting Fatigue

In one’s never-ending search for that magical “sales” potion, one gets lucky now and then and uncovers a golden nugget of valuable and most importantly: useful information.

I am happy to share with you, you have just discovered a goldmine. A sure-fire way to move from prospecting for customers to a referral-based model. It is the cure for prospecting fatigue. If you are like most sales professionals you probably don’t need another course on the linguistic structure of effective closing lines, or how to build value in the product. What you really want to learn is how to get “buy-in” at a visceral level from your clients or customers and create a flowing stream on referral-based business.

What I mean by “buy-in from your customers” is: taking the sales transaction a step further by developing and maintaining a more significant relationship. In higher-end sales, we really are not competing on price, we are competing on leadership. People (the followers) ultimately pick the product they purchase largely on the relationship they have developed with the salesperson (the leader), not the price.

The easiest way to cure prospecting fatigue in sales is to use your leadership skills to make customers your


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followers rather than just your next sale. I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “People don’t buy things, they buy people.” This is very true. By engaging in the power of “now” to unleash Viral Leadership, salespeople can gain followers, and followers do something amazing for us: The refer others.

In leadership training, we often speak of how one steps into the role of a leader, but little emphasis is on the skill of creating loyal followership. Managers have their subordinates as followers. But in sales, there is a tremendous amount of autonomy. Even though there are emails and calls to the office, and a few meeting, many sales professionals find their job is more akin to being a solopreneur. This is precisely how the adage “Sales is the only profession where you get to write your own paycheck” came about. So if salespeople are unlike managers, who have a clear pool of assigned followers, how does a salesperson exercise leadership?

The answer is simple: Customers are the followers of salespeople. A manager’s job is to create “buy-in” to the company’s vision from his or her staff. Salespeople, on the other hand, are making this happen at a transactional level. They create “buy-in” by getting people to put their money where the vision is. And this takes leadership. The first follower is often actually a co-leader with complete “buy-in.” Not only for the product features, benefits and price, but also for the relationship they have established with the salesperson.

As a co-leader with complete buy-in, they will enthusiastically look for others to bring on board. These people then become followers to the followers! The result is compounding and the successful


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salesperson soon discovers they are spending so much time with their followers that prospecting fatigue is gone and they may even miss the old challenge that cold-calling gave them.

Leadership ultimately is about happiness . Not only our happiness but that of others. Sales leaders want happy customers, and the way to create happiness is to show authentic interest and care for other people. Many salespeople ask buyers to share the name and contact information of someone else who might be interested in their product. Now, this does create a fresh warm lead, but what about engaging the buyer to such an extent that they actually want to make the introduction!

In my business, most of my sales are made via online orders and emails. So last year I searched my database and made a list of my top 5% customers. I then did two things: I called them on the phone to say hello and to just asked about them and if the course they had purchased was helpful to them. (I did not ask for an upsell). The second thing I did was I sent them all a personalized handwritten holiday postcard. The result was increased social media engagement, emails asking for help or advice, and even a few phone calls. Through these personalized interactions, genuine relationships were built as we learned about one other. One of my customers in Australia actually sent me snail-mail with a personal note and a small gift and inquired about my family.

This is Viral Leadership. It takes something at the moment, a sale in this case, and creates something sustainable. We then keep building on it to make our


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footprint bigger. Viral Leadership rests on a foundation of authenticity and intention. Salespeople who authentically cultivate and then follow through with the intention of creating relationships build a cadre of followers enthusiastic about far more than the product.

As a licensed psychotherapist, I find it interesting that over half the population report feeling lonely often, and that they keep this feeling to themselves. What this means is that half the salespeople will actually benefit by cultivating authentic relationships with customers who have the same need. This does not mean we have to become best friends or blur professional boundaries. It shows our intention to help make the world a better place. We do so by exhibiting genuine interest in our customers not just as customers or clients, but as people, as a friend.

Smart salespeople learn about their customers and then ascertain how their products will fit their customer’s vision. I will forever be grateful to my insurance agent who sold me a whole life policy when I was 31. The naysayers told me all kinds of things about why I should not have bought whole-life. However, the agent who sold me my policy 21 years ago did me a huge favor; he took the time to know me, my family and situation. 21 years later we still stay in touch, and I still retain the policy. He was there when my kids were young, and he still calls or emails to find out how my son the Army Sargent is doing, or how the grand-kids are. We are not best friends, but we have far more than just a customer-salesperson relationship.

Are you ready to build a referral-based business and overcome prospecting fatigue? Viral Leadership is a far


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more sustaining answer than the latest CRM software. After all, software becomes outdated, but authenticity and the intention of building relationship can last a lifetime.


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CHAPTER THREE Moving Into Intention

I looked at my calendar and realized it was only a week from the end of the month and that I was not even within 50% of my sales goal. I did what people naturally do when the end of the month is racing back towards the middle of the month, and I justified revising my goal downward. I reasoned that I had taken two days off to attend a university event and that because of the season, inquiries were slow, and the original goal was unreasonable. I licked my thumb and erased the goal from the calendar and proudly posted a new goal for the end of the month.

A few days after reaching the new goal, I grabbed the wet-erase marker and started to write a new one for the new month. But then something clicked. My goals were dragging me down. And that was the last month I ever set a numerical goal.

In my role as the company leader, I no longer ask my team members to set goals. I know, it’s almost heretical to advocate a “goal-free” company, but leaders must rethink the value of goal-setting. Revising goals downward is not the only unhelpful inclination we have when faced with challenging goals. Research shows that in addition to causing anxiety and stress and contributing to employees feeling detached from decision making, it can even bring moral quandaries


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related to how salespeople and customer service professionals really treat the customer.

As a leader I have moved away from the Holy Grail of SMART goal setting, realizing that they may not be so smart after all. SMART is an acronym almost every company uses to establish goals, and while research does show it can improve the bottom line, new viewpoints demonstrate that there is something as effective, and perhaps without the hidden baggage goal-setting can bring.

I now help my teams set intentions rather than goals. An intention is different than a goal. A goal focuses on the future, but an intention is focused on right now. Right now, I can seize the power of this moment to be my best. Right now, I can be trustworthy. Right now, I can be motivated. Right now, I can step into friendliness and kindness. In leadership training, we often talk about authenticity, and by setting intention rather than goals, I can fully embrace the authenticity of this moment by moving into a resource state that helps me with the next phone call, or the next customer interaction, or the next employee coaching session.

In many cases, goals are set to fulfil the expectations or desires of others. But intentions begin with “I Am…” and nobody can say an intention for you other than yourself. Unlike goals that need to be adopted, intentions have ownership from the moment we set them. Intentions have power because they provide a mechanism for action right now, rather than a goal which can always be procrastinated.


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Intentions are a leadership tool. They can are a catalyst for change in coaching team members to move beyond a feeling of failure that arises when an employee is struggling. And, intentions are a leadership tool because they can activate immediate action. When our grandmothers used to say, “You have the same pants to get glad in that you have to be mad in!” they were really exhorting us to use the power of intention.

As an expert in business psychology, I have seen intention setting change entire organizational cultures. When leaders stop using goal setting and start modeling setting intention, employees feel empowered and begin to take a sense of ownership over their work. Like other mental habits, this is a pattern that becomes ingrained and a part of a person’s life-enhancing skill set.

The simplest strategy for setting an intention is to make it a part of your morning routine. When you jump into the shower, take some time to reflect on a new day and decide how you want to experience it. Decide if you want to be confident. Decide if you want to be agreeable. Decide if you want to be clear-minded. Later, as you step over the threshold of the front door to get to your car, use it as a cue to recall your intention and then go forth through the rest of the day being that which is most important to you. In leadership, we call this authenticity. And authentic leaders step into success effortlessly. It is impressive to witness how, by setting intentions rather than goals for a consistent period of time, we can look back and realize we have effectively exceeded any expectations we could have set for ourselves with the traditional methods that focus on goal setting.


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CHAPTER FOUR 3 Ways to Lead Your Business

to Long-Term Success

As I opened the mailbox to clear out the junk mail and the usual clutter of printed monthly bills I already have set up on autopay, a handwritten piece of mail captured my attention. I checked, looking for either the first-class stamp telling me it was important or the business-rate stamp that would reveal it was trash without having to open it. I wondered, “Who would send me a hand-addressed letter?” as I noticed the first-class stamp. The return address was just a street address with no name, so I stopped in the garage before even entering the house to open it up. It was from my friend who was inviting me to his retirement party.

After 32 years of owning a retail shop, he had sold the shop and was now taking it easy. 32 years of business is remarkable, especially in retail, and I looked forward to helping him celebrate his success.

The amazing thing about business is that just like art or literature, business can be sustaining and even span millenniums. The realization that the work we do today can create not only a great quarter, but a sustaining business, and it can provide a tremendous sense of meaning. As a leader, your greatest challenge is not in catching fire for the moment by introducing a great idea or product but to parlay the moment into


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something that is lasting and sustaining – going truly viral. The difference between short-term glory and viral leadership is the ability to create something sustaining with your ideas.

Every entrepreneur dreams at first of moving into profitability, and then secondly, of being able to make the moment last. This is sustainability. When I started my business in 1994, my initial goal was to pay back the small loan I used to start my business. My second goal was to live off my business. It has been 24 years since I have gotten a paycheck from someone else. There is perhaps, no greater feeling as an entrepreneur than to look back like my friend did after 32 years of running his business, and note that it surpassed your wildest expectations.

In my business, I was able to move into profitability early on after starting my company. Now I am looking back and realizing that the fruits of my labor will probably outlive me. How did that happen? What are the leadership keys that create sustainability in business? Of course, there are many, but these three are at the core of many leadership decisions that create lasting businesses:

Pay attention to the moment. Many leaders are fixated on the future. Future

decisions to be made, future results to be had, and future innovation and growth to create. The paradox here is that many leaders miss the power of the moment by focusing on the future. Mindful awareness of this moment is the key to not missing an opportunity and building something sustainable. By focusing our


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attention on the moment, leaders position themselves to harness the power of right now.

How many times have you seen a business miss the opportunity in front of them by focusing on the future? It is a lot like the parent who only sees their child’s accomplishments (school play, graduation, awards night) through the viewfinder of a camera out of fear for not being able to “preserve” these moments, but then in retrospect has missed the raw joy of the moment by living with a scarcity mindset. By paying attention to the moment, we take care of immediate needs. Having been a restaurant owner, I can tell you cleaning the toilet today is as important is planning a menu launch for a new line of specialty items, and perhaps even more so. In the internet era, a picture of your clogged toilet might become the social media image that unfortunately defines your business.

Pay attention to character. Leaders surround themselves with helpers who have

the right character and personality traits. I am not always the most organized person – my office is a mess and I don’t do a good job of updating my schedule. That’s why my key business manager (who has been with me for decades) has as an important trait the ability to be highly organized. In making hiring decisions skills are important, but as I have learned – sometimes the hard way – skills can be taught but loyalty cannot. To create a lasting business, surround yourself with characters of excellence – you can train skills if needed, but you can’t train character.

Leadership collaboration with those of good character is essential and important because it produces


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true freedom. It frees a leader from being the sole source of power and from being reliant on their own, limited resources. The truth is, we only know what we know, and even though some of us are smart and know a lot, the collective knowledge base from managers, employees, customers, and the community are unleashed to transform business when character is at the heart of how we chose those we surround ourselves with.

Pay attention to joy. Rosabeth Kanter said in a Harvard Business

Review article that “exerting leadership is the surest route to joy,” and tells us that “Autonomy, influence, and a sense of meaning are associated with lower stress and fewer work-related illnesses.” In other words, leaders who create sustaining businesses find health in joy, and joy in health, and remain a viral part of the leadership team for years to come by meeting not only deadlines but by meeting their deepest needs. In starting the day with the intention of experiencing joy, we in the simplest of ways, activate the sustaining power of satisfaction and happiness to help us through the tough times that are sure to come.

Leaders leverage the moment to create something lasting. This is the power of now in business, and what can make leadership go viral. In the moment of success, a business can create something that might endure as long as art and literature, and as long as a millennium. We can look back more than 200 years and see DuPont, HarperCollins Publishers, and Colgate has stood the test of time. Will your business leadership


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create the same outcome? By applying the three keys above, staying power for your business is more likely.


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CHAPTER FIVE Step Past The Biggest Myth About Leadership

and Unleash Transformation Now

Sitting on my desk right now is a pile of leadership books. They are books by Druker, Dobbs, Bass, Bakke, and Maxwell. If you are a student of leadership, you probably have a similar pile. All of them, no matter who wrote them, have several things in common:

• They are all written by corporate CEOs or executives

• They all use examples of transformational leaders that we all know like Nelson Mandela, Jack Welch, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, or even Jesus.

• They all teach transformational leadership in the context of big business, big religions, or global politics.

They are all good books with great insights and

practical applications, but what is not said in these books is as important as what is said. What is not said is that the average student of leadership is far more likely to lead one person through transition than to be the CEO of a large company with 100,000 employees. The average leader is more likely to work with a small group than head a large international conglomerate. What is not said is that effective leaders more often than not are


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transforming one person at a time — and often in a lateral relationship, by helping another employee or even a customer.

When I talk to people about leadership development, they often think leadership is, well, for leaders. Because they are in a rural area or a small business, they think that real leadership is something bigger than they are. This is the myth of seminar leadership programs. The myth is that if you learn leadership, its value will be known when you are a “big leader.”

True Transformational Leadership starts with self-awareness and recognition of an ability to contribute in a meaningful way to other people. The application of transformational leadership is not restricted to the CEO or political leaders. In fact, serious students of Transformational Leadership have learned that helping one person at a time is as important as producing global change as speaking to a forum with thousands of participants.

Clearly Microsoft, under the leadership of Bill Gates, has transformed the next ten generations. In 500 years we will be reading about Bill Gates just like we currently read about Galileo. But the effectiveness of Gates leadership is not only in that he pioneered new technology applications, but in his personal transformation — a transformation that moved him to be a philanthropist who sees transformation coming one person at a time through clean water development, public health initiatives, and individual scholarship prizes.


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Gates is an example of a transformational leader, not because he revolutionized the world or created a movement, but because he helped each one of us in our own personal way. I benefited from Bill Gates by using his products on a daily basis as a writer, doing things on the PC that I was never able to do on a typewriter.

• Transformation is the norm in life. Absolutely nothing stays the same. The issue is not how to change, but how to transform while change occurs.

• Leadership is not just for the CEO or international politician�—�a concept all of us must understand in order to improve our connections to others, even on a one-on-one level.

• A leader must be willing to make his own changes in order to be effective in provoking change in others.

• Leadership is about making tomorrow better than today. I have collaborated with my clients to help them acquire a new vision that inspires them to make a change. We’ve collaborated to help them create a growth mindset based on progress rather than perfection.

• Leadership involves inspiring others to employ creativity, which is the key to original solutions and positive growth.

• Leadership is a personal journey: One of my most profound insights as an entrepreneur was that business transformed me.


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Each of us can benefit from these things today; leaders are not something we become but something we are already. Step into your fullest potential today, and activate leadership without waiting. You can begin now, by transforming yourself, to begin transforming others.


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CHAPTER SIX A Powerful Lesson in Leadership Empathy

Dee sat in her office tensely biting her pencil. As the new sales manager, she was feeling a combination of anger, and overwhelming confusion as she learned that one of the newest, but potentially larger clients she had worked to obtain was backing out of an important deal. As is the case in a situation like this, there was more than enough blame to go around, but also enough ambiguity in the situation to create real confusion as to how to win back the client.

In that overwhelming moment, the owner of the franchise called a meeting between her and the installation manager. She seethed in anger over a failure in the installation managers handling of the customer but also knew her salesperson had failed to maintain the after-sale communication that could have saved the deal.

She dreaded going into the owner’s office. She expected that she would hold her more accountable for the failure than warranted, and would not place the blame on the installation manager. Dee assumed an emotionally defensive posture and sat in front of the owner’s desk, and next to her team member, the owner spoke. “I want to thank you both for remaining so positive,” she opened, “and for doing the best you could in this situation to try to get the deal done.”


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Dee spoke, “I feel embarrassed that this happened. I

had big dreams for hitting our goals in my first three months. I am sorry for the problem.” The installation manager chimed in, “Me too. I wanted to help you start this new position with the best possible numbers. I wish that our department was able to do better.”

At that moment, with just a few words, the tension that filled the air dissolved as fast as sugar cubes in hot coffee. This business scenario is not atypical – problems occur all the time. It has happened in the C-Suite, owner’s offices, and among team members probably since the beginning of business itself. The difference is that the tone of this meeting was predicated on leadership empathy. And unlike other meetings where leaders have not led with empathy, this meeting turned to discovering the strengths of the departments so that the team could maximize the next opportunity.

When leaders don’t lead with empathy, as Dee’s franchise owner did, blame-shifting might take place, or passive-aggressive communication might emerge between different department heads. But in this case, the franchise owner led with empathy. She started the meeting probably knowing that there was tension in the air, but skillfully used her leadership position to set the tone and topic of the meeting.

Leadership empathy is a skill that is developed. Leaders often take for granted that others will understand they are concerned and care about the outcome of a situation beyond a profit. This is not a given – people only know the content of a communication by the words that are used. Practicing


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empathy is something that will go a long way in clearing up confusion, letting your employees or followers know you care, and managing tense situations after a difficult loss. Here are three empathic statements you can lead with as you communicate with team members today. Practice using them today even if there is not a problem, and they will come more naturally and be more effective when there is.

“I’m glad you are more familiar with this situation. Can you help me understand what’s going on here?” (You are validating the other persons lead or experience.)

“Thank you for the good work! I will shoot you a message later just to check in on our progress.” (Then actually send a message.)

“I understand where you are coming from – I had a similar frustration/problem/concern earlier. Here is what I learned…” (and then share your learning.)

The heart of leadership empathy is intentionally creating an equal playing field where you maintain your own emotions to support someone who might be on the edge of losing their emotions. Leadership empathy is about expressing a willingness to share a problem and to stay in a solution-oriented mode rather than shifting to a blame-passing mode. It is important to let those who are looking to you know that you understand their


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struggles and that you care about the process as well as the outcome. At its core, leadership empathy is about kindness and assertiveness rather than aggression. Leaders who practice empathy are leaders who engage teams, change culture, and build affirmative identity.


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CHAPTER SEVEN The New Morning Routine

to Start Off in the Lead

It feels wonderful to wake up well-rested and full of anticipation for the day, doesn’t it? Far too often, however, we wake up with anxiety about the day, wondering if others will engage with us or accept what we have to offer. Sometimes we wake up still tired from the night before – and if you are getting a bit older, with a few sore joints. Sometimes we wake up and just don’t feel the excitement of having another day to spend.

When we wake up without that spark, it is easy to get distracted from the opportunity we have to lead others, change lives, innovate invention, engage community, and do our best. But each morning we have that potential. We can close more sales, help more people, mentor those who need our wisdom – whatever it is we are expert in – but we can only do that if we have the will to give our energy to the world.

I want to share with you a simple strategy for developing a new morning routine that will change everything about your day. In fact, it can change everything about your life. This strategy has the potential to restore your enthusiasm for life and to gain buy-in from others because you will take from this new


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morning routine empowerment that will last the entire day.

How can I make such an outrageous promise? Because I have discovered this power in my own life, and I have share it with many others in my keynote speaking, training sessions, and one-on-one coaching with other executives. The feedback I get from others is almost always the same: “You were right, Richard, everything is better! Not just at work, with customers and employees, but even in my personal world too!”

No, the routine isn’t about cramming the first 30 minutes of the day with power learning and activity – it is quite the opposite. In fact, you don’t even have to wake up any earlier to do this routine. Step one is simple: After you stumble out of bed and go to the bathroom mirror, look at yourself and smile. Engage with yourself the way you want to engage with others. Smile and simply say “good morning” to yourself.

The next thing is to jump in the shower and after you get clean, stay an extra moment or two in the hot water. And ask yourself, “What do I really want to manifest today?” or “What attitude do I want to embrace today?” or “What feeling do I wish to share with others today?” The answers to these questions will establish your intention today. Intentions are different than goals. Goals are something you are going to do or accomplish, but intentions are what you are going to feel, be, and radiate when you do them.

As you step out and towel off, go back to the bathroom mirror. You have established an intention for the day, and now you must speak it out loud, rephrased


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as an “I am” statement. Look back in the mirror and say it: “Today, I am ______.”

It is really that easy. People often equivocate simple with ineffective or useless, and if you find yourself questioning the efficacy of such a simple solution you are not alone, but you are missing out on a tool that has transformed the daily lived experiences of the thousands of people I have personally taught this strategy.

Do you have to wait until tomorrow morning to do this? No! You can even try it right now while reading this article. Take a moment to reflect and establish an intention your day and then rephrase that intention as an “I am” statement. You can do this because intention is not what you are going to do in the future, but what you can live right now.


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CHAPTER EIGHT How Sharing Through Storytelling Can

Activate Leadership Right Now

I never set out to be a leader. Like many people who have looked back and discovered that somewhere along the way they are the one that others follow, I too became a leader without any fanfare. There were no titles awarded to me, nothing to signify the transition from follower to leader, and nothing to even notify me that I was someone others looked to for guidance.

There is only one recollection I have of leadership being officially bestowed on me. When I was six years old, my mother and father divorced. My father, whom I only saw once after that day, said from the driver’s seat of his car as he prepared to make the 2000-mile journey to his new life, “Watch after the girls. You are in charge here now.” As he drove off, my two sisters and I cried only because my mother was crying, not because we understood the gravity of the situation.

But I do remember struggling with his words, wondering over the years how I was supposed to watch over them. I was just a kid, and life in a strange family dynamic was hard. Even as a child I was an entrepreneur though. I remember people telling me I was a leader when I sold Olympic greeting cards door-to-door, and when I was finally big enough to become a lawn-boy. People told me these things, but I was still


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not old enough to really know what a leader was. I just sensed it was a person who did something differently than others. As I entered my career after graduate school, there was no clear delineation between my role as a leader and as a non-leader. It just seemed like one day everyone was coming to me before making decisions or taking actions.

Three decades after my first job I recognize that like many others, leadership came not because of a title but because of an action. There was something that made me different than the other kids no selling greeting cards and later, the other adults in my office. There was one simple action that transformed my role, but more importantly my impact: I shared.

Sharing is what makes leadership go viral. People can be told something, people can be sold something, and people can be given something. And while there is a place and a time for each of these transactional methods of leadership, sharing goes beyond the transaction because it creates a relationship. Sharing is a two-way street, and the sharer often benefits as much as the person being shared with. When sharing is predicated upon authenticity, it often comes full circle and as others take what we have shared and create something magnificent – and sometimes we end up on the receiving end of what we have shared in the first place.

Just this week I called one of my former students. It has been ten years since he took what I had shared with him, not just from training and lectures, but from the time I invested in mentoring him and giving him resources to evolve and grow as a leader. Over the years we have kept in touch, I have watched him mentor


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others, and now I needed his help and expertise. Because I had shared freely with him, he was now in a position to share the results of his innovation with me, or more specifically my family member who needed a local resource to solve a specific problem.

Leaders become leaders because they share. How can new leaders share? First by telling their story. In every one of our lives, whether we are young or old, there are experiences and learning we have had that can be shared. In my coaching with young executives, they often feel odd trying to lead older employees who have decades more industry experience than them. The way to overcome this is to learn how to share stories.

Stories are the universal mechanism for activating leadership. Stories cause the listener to look inside themselves to determine how they relate to the situation and what impact it will have on them. We are trained that stories convey messages, and so subconsciously when we hear a story, we are looking for the lesson. The good news for those who find themselves in a position of leadership and don’t know what to do: every person has a story. Young and old, experienced or not. For example, a 22-year-old city employee in their first position after college can share with older workers the stories that have informed them, and older workers can share the wisdom they have learned through stories. The products of such exchanges are the foundation of a leadership-centered approach.

By sharing stories, parables, and metaphors, we create leadership communication in a way as old as history itself. But how do leaders know which stories to


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share and when to share them? Just like a speechwriter or a media interview guest prepares talking points, leaders can look through their experiences and begin crafting the stories that resonate with others, have impact, and share valuable lessons. Leaders can test these out individually, in small group meetings, and even by writing blogs and getting feedback. Over time, your repertoire of leadership stories will have meaning and purpose and will become the foundation for sharing with others in a meaningful way.

The result of sharing through stories is that as the listener looks inside themselves to find the application and resonance of the story. Then, they almost always respond with questions. Sometimes they respond by adding to the story or even sharing it with others. This creates a circle of communication, and the narrative created by shared communication in business becomes the foundation for corporate culture.

In a year or two, or even in a decade or two, nobody is ever going to remember the third bullet point shared in a quarterly staff meeting. But it is entirely likely that a story told will be remembered for its impact, and the way it moved or changed the culture.

What are some ways you can hone your storytelling skills? The best way I’ve found is by listening to speakers who tell stories. Take a course on therapeutic or business storytelling. Read stories and business fables like The Decision Maker by Ray Bakke or The Go-Giver by Bob Berg. Understand and acknowledge that your leadership comes from your ability to communicate through the power of stories. Start developing your own stories, share them with others,


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and soon you will realize that sharing through stories is the easiest way to engage a team, create a culture, and engage a customer.


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www.RichardNongard.com

Dr. Richard Nongard is an experienced speaker who is

engaging, easy going, and shares actionable strategies for sales professionals, leadership teams, executives and front-line

personnel. He is passionate about helping everyone uncover leadership potential and use it to create lasting change. Call Richard at (702) 418-3332 to reserve your dates.


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