Comm skills for workplace n sazalli

Communications skills for workplace

Nurhasmiza Sazalli

University of Exeter

March 9, 2013

Some background info about me

• PhD student at University of Exeter

• Qualification:M. Sc (University of Exeter, UK)

M. ELS (National University, Malaysia)

B.Ed TESL (University of Exeter, UK)

• Working experience:13 years of teaching (English subject and others)

University of Technology Malaysia (since 2008)

Malaysia National Secondary Schools (since 2002)

Why I do this short course?

• Part of my research on the affordance of mobile technology and web 2.0 to enhance students learning

• For my research respondents to gain benefits from it.

Why you are chosen to be my respondents?

Reliance on Smartphone and Web 2.0 tools by most

university students

This course is also offered by most Malaysia University

to prepare undergraduates before they start working

You are entering the working world soon

What I hope from you

• Attend this short course and participate in all the activities during the course

• Do the assignment given

• Present your work for the assignment (2 weeks from today)

• Beat the others!! (it’s a competition)

• Cooperate with me when I collect the data from you.

Communication barriers

• Why do you think sometimes it is difficult for you to communicate with someone?

• What are your barriers in communication?

Communication basics and barriers

Common barriers/ problems to communication:

• Physical barriers

• Perceptual barriers

• Emotional barriers

• Cultural barriers

• Language barriers

• Gender barriers

• Interpersonal barriers

Gender barriers: Typical Differences in Male and Female Styles of Communication

Women Men

Talk to other women when they have a problem or need to make a decision

Don’t see the point in sharing personal issues

More relationship oriented, and look for commonalities and ways to connect with others

Tend to relate to other men on a one-up, one-down basis. Status and dominance is important

Focus on building rapport, by sharing experiences and asking questions

Tell and give information rather than ask questions. Share experiences if needed

If women have a disagreement with each other it affects all aspects of their relationship

Men can have a disagreement, move on to another subject and go get a drink together

At meetings women nod their head to show they are listening

Men think the woman is agreeing with them. He is surprised when she later disagrees, since she nodded her head

Solutions• Physical barriers : “open office” plan, remove the

physical barriers, Cubicles layout to encourage greater openness and collaboration.

• Perceptual barriers: Do not simply judge the book by its cover

• Emotional barriers: put our emotions aside when communicating with people. The whole world does not need to know our problems.

• Cultural barriers: find a common ground to work from, consider the different cultures that exist

• Language barriers: Suit the level of language to whom you are speaking to

• Gender barriers : Appreciate the differences between the genders. Do not make assumptions, so ask them politely if you are not clear of something.

• Interpersonal barriers : More communication, more engagement with others

A skilled communicator must be aware of these barriers and try to reduce their impact by continually checking

understanding and by offering appropriate feedback.

What’s your communication style?

http://www.newlineideas.com/test-yourself.html

How to get to know other people?Type Passive Assertive Aggressive Passive -Aggressive

General talks little, puts self down, praises others“I don’t mind…that’s fine….yes alright”

Firm but polite and clear messages, respectful of self and others“That’s a good idea, and how about if we…”

Sarcastic, superior, know it all, interrupts, critical, put-downs on others“This is what we’re doing, if you don’t like it, tough”

Indirect aggression that hides behind an agreeable face, hit-and-hide. Mutter to themselves rather than confront the person or issue. They sabotage you“I will appear cooperative but I’m not.”

Beliefs You’re okay, I’m not Others are always more important, so it doesn’t matter what they think anyway

I’m okay, you’re okayBelieves or acts as if all the individuals involved are equal, each deserving of respect

I’m okay, you’re not Believe they are entitled to have things done their way, others are less important

‘You think I’m ok with you? I’m not!!’ Have difficulty acknowledging their anger. Use facial expressions that don't match how they feel - i.e., smiling when angry . Use sarcasm

Eyes Avoids eye contact, looks down, teary, pleading

Warm, welcoming, friendly, comfortable eye contact

Narrow, emotion-less,

staring, expressionless

Usually do not have a direct eye contact with you. In their mind, they are setting booby traps all around you.

Passive Assertive Aggressive Passive-agresive

Posture Makes body smaller – stooped, leaning, hunched shoulders

Relaxed, open, welcoming

Makes body bigger –upright, head high, shoulders out, hands on hips, feet apart

Pretend to be relaxed, open and welcoming but actually they haveless confidence on themselves

Hands Together, fidgety, clammy

Open, friendly and appropriate gestures

Pointing fingers, making fists, clenched, hands on hips

Together, clammy

Consequences Give in to others, don’t get what we want or need, self-critical thoughts, miserable

Good relationships with others, happy with outcome and to compromise

Make enemies, upset others and self, feel angry and resentful

Become alienated from those around them Remain stuck in a position of powerlessness (like POWs)Discharge resentment while real issues are never addressed so they can't mature

Why do we need to be aware of different communication style?

• To improve ourselves

• To convey our ideas or views efficiently to others.

• To adapt with others and to suit their styles of communicating.

• To make the person talking to us feel comfortable as we select and emphasize certain behaviours that fit within our personality and resonate with them.

How would you deal with them?Activity 1

Have a look at these situations and decide how......a passive person would react...an aggressive person would react...a passive-aggressive person would react...an assertive person would react

1. You are trying to concentrate on some important work. However, a few of your co-workers are laughing and horsing around. What do you do?

2. You are the head of your department. A

young lady who works for you has started

coming to work late everyday and is

extremely moody. What do you do?

3. Your boss has borrowed your laptop to do some work. He has had it for several hours and it is now time to go home. You really want to take it home to do some personal work. What do you do?

4. Your boss walks up behind you when you are using the company phone for a personal call. "How much longer do you plan to be?" he asks. What do you do?

How to deal with these people?

Passive Aggressive Passive-aggressive

Ask clear, direct questions.

Be patient!

Let them know how much you desire to understand.

Force them to make decision when the timing is right.

Model healthy communication and confident decision-making

Try not to take their behavior personally

Stay calm

Wait till they are less angry, then talk to them calmly

Gently teach compromise (or get an outside counselor to help do it)

Be a detective – when and where are they most aggressive?

Ask clear, direct questions when you hear that they are weaving a tale that doesn’t make a bit of sense

Confront when you suspect the person is hiding their anger or resentment

Point out the disconnect between their words and behavior

Don’t let them control you

Pick you power phrases. Say: “It may have been intended as a joke, but I found it hurtful, not funny”. “Did you withhold the password because you don’t want me to see the material?” “Whatever your reason for being late, I need to tell you how it affects me”.

Neuro-Linguistics Programme (NLP)

The importance of knowing our learning style

• To improve performance on the job, in training, and in interpersonal situations

• To make learning and communication easier by working with your own style as we are aware of how we and other perceive and process information

• To help yourself learn faster and more easily• To understand that different individuals need to be

taught in various ways that vary from standard teaching methods

• To reach different individuals by presenting information in several different ways

• To help you strengthen your rapport with people around you

How to know our preference?

• Do you seem to get more from reading the handout or from listening to the presenter?

• Do you prefer listening to the material and sometimes get lost if they try to take notes on the subject during the presentation?

• Do your prefer to read the handouts and look at the illustrations the presenter puts on the board?

• Do you do best with "hands on" activities and group interaction?

Take this test

http://www.new-oceans.co.uk/new/vak.htm

Visual Preference Auditory Preference Kinaesthetic Preference

Remember what was seen, rather than heard

Memorise by visual association

Neat and orderly

Speak quickly

Good long-range planners and organisers

Observant of environmental detail

Apearance-oriented in both dress and presentation

Good spellers and can actually see the words in their minds

Talk to themselves while working

Easily distracted by noise

Move their lips and pronounce the words as they read

Enjoy reading aloud and listening

Can repeat back and mimic tone pitch and timbre

Find writing difficult, but are better at telling

Have problems with projects that involve visualisation, such as cutting pieces that fit together

Respond to physical rewards

Touch people to get their attention

Stand close when talking to someone

Gesture a lot

Can't sit still for long periods of time

Can't remember geography unless they've actually been there

Use action words

May have messy handwriting

Like to be involved in games

Their predicates, or "process words."

Visual people learn through what they see

• "That looks right to me"

• "I get the picture"

Auditory learners from what they hear

• "That rings a bell"

• "That sounds right to me,"

Kinesthetic learners from movement and touching.

• “Can you show me how it works?”

What to do when you know others’ preference of modality?

• Identify the predicates (process words) of others when they are communicating.

• Then, make it a point to match their preference when you speak to them.

• Use the process words that the person can relate to, you can also match the speed at which they talk.

Visual speak quickly

Auditories at a medium speed

Kinesthetics more slowly.

• Matching your modality to another's is a great way to create rapport and an atmosphere of understanding.

Body language

• Noticing the signals that people send out with their body language is a very useful social skill.

• Some of us can read it naturally and some of us are notoriously oblivious.

• Fortunately, with a little extra attentiveness, you can learn to read body language, and with enough practice it'll become second nature.

Activity 2: Lie detector!

• Get a partner.

• The person on the left needs to think of 2 situations (one of it is a lie and another one is a truth). Describe both situations to the person on the right.

• The person on the right needs to guess which one is a lie and which one is true. The person on the right needs to observe the body language of the person on the right since he/she starts to think of the situations.

• The person on the left then tell the person on the right whether he/she make the right guess or not.

For the student on the right.

• What body language that you notice from your partner?

• How do you make the guesses?

• What were your clues?

How do we read body language?From http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language

• Pay attention to how physically close someone is to you

• Watch their head position

• Watch their eyes

• See if they're mirroring you

• Be aware of nervous gestures

• Watch their feet

1. Pay attention to how physically close someone is to you.

• The closer they are, the warmer they are thinking of you.

• If you move slightly closer to them, do they move slightly further away?

• That means they don't want your interaction to be any more personal than it already is.

• If they don't move further away, then they are receptive.

• And if they respond by getting even closer to you, they probably really like you or are very comfortable around/by you.

2. Watch their head position.• Overly tilted heads are either a potential sign of sympathy,

or if a person smiles while tilting their head, they are being playful and maybe even flirting.

• Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something.• He may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the

other person, in disbelief, or thinking to himself or herself.• Or he may be unsure if what he said was correct, or could be

reflecting.• It should be noted that some

cultures see this as a sign

of respect.

3. Watch their eyes• Tend to look right when the brain is imaging or creating, and left when the

brain is remembering.• Due to the parts of the brain: RIGHT handles creativity/ feelings,

LEFT handles facts/ memory • Looking right when stating facts does not necessarily mean lying, it could

be that the person is trying to guess/ think of a valid answer as he does not know the real answer.

• People who look to the sides a lot are nervous, lying, or distracted. However, if a person looks away from the speaker, this could indicate discomfort display. Looking askance (sideways glance) generally means the person is distrustful or unconvinced.

• If someone looks down at the floor a lot, they are probably shy, upset, or trying to hide something emotional.

• If their eyes seem focused far away, that usually indicates that a person isin deep thought or not listening.

4. See if they're mirroring you.

• If someone mimics your body language this is a very genuine sign that they are trying to establish rapport with you.

• Try changing your body position here and there. If you find that they change theirs similarly, they are mirroring.

5. Be aware of nervous gestures:• Brushing hair back with fingers - the person might like you,

or is thinking about something conflict with yours. He might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that he disagrees with you.

• Constantly pushing their glasses- pushing them up onto their nose, with a slight frown, may indicate they disagree with what you are saying. Look to make sure they push up their glasses with an intent, not casually adjusting them.

• (Note: A frown may also indicate eyestrain, and constant re-adjusting of glasses could be the result of an improper fit. The distinguishing feature is whether they are looking directly at you while doing it.)

• Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on.

6. Watch their feet:

• A fast tapping, shifting of weight, laughing, or movement of the foot = the

person is impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated.

• Feet tapping = a desire to leave or wanting to get somewhere quickly.

• Slow shuffling = boredom with the current situation. If during flirtation your legs/feet

touch, tapping can generally be interpreted as nervous excitement.

• Note though that some people with ADHD will constantly jiggle their legs. It doesn't

mean anything. Some people also do it out of habit.

• If the person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles = they're generally at ease.

• If while standing, a person seems to always keep their feet very close together =

they are trying to be "proper" in some way or they are feeling more submissive

or passive

• If they purposely touch their feet to yours, they are flirting!

• Some people may point their feet to the direction of where they want to go or

sometimes their interest. So if it's pointing at you, he/she may be interested in

you.

Do you listen enough?

Are you an active listener?

Test yourself here

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest

• How do you know that people are not listening to you?

How to be an active listener?

• Pay Attention

Use your face, voice, and body to show that you are truly interested in what the other person is saying.

Look at the speaker directly.

Put aside distracting thoughts.

• Show That You're Listening

Encouraging words to show you are listening.

"Mmm, hmm"

"I see.“

Nonverbal actions to show you are listening.

relaxed posture

head-nodding, eye contact

• Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing.

"What I'm hearing is,"

"Sounds like you are saying,.."

• Do not interrupt

It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

• Respond Appropriately

Be candid, open, and honest in your response.

Assert your opinions respectfully.

Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.

How shy are you?Activity 3

• Choose an object from the bag. Discuss with your group on how you are going to sell it to the others. Choose a member from your group to do the selling.

• Can you overcome your shyness? Fear of meeting people? How confidence were you when you did the selling just now?

Watch this!

• Ah Wing

Negotiating skills

• Some tips from salespeople and business owners

1. Flinch

"How much do you want again?!?!" You must appear shocked and surprised that they could be

bold enough to request that figure.

2. Recognize that people often ask for more than they expect to get.

• Appear upset when the customer asks for bargain to indicate that their demand is “unfair”.

1. Get to know your product well

• Know your product and learn about your competitors as possible.

• You will know how to answer when the buyer says something like

‘I can get the same thing with cheaper price if I were to buy it from other person’

4. Practice at every opportunity

• As a consumer, develop the habit of asking for a price break when you buy from a retail store.

• "What kind of discount are you offering today?"

5. Make your customers fall in love with your product

• “Do you want to take a test drive?”

Presentation skills

• 2 key elements of effective message:

1. Preparation

• Proposal, presentation slides, handouts, time, your appearance

• Info about the product should be at the back of your hand!

• Your audience is interested to hear, see and maybe try to use the product. Extra readings can be done other time.

2. Delivery

• Be confident and enthusiastic

• Speak clearly and firmly

• Eye contact is crucial to holding the attention of your audience.

• Don't read out your talk

• It’s OK to use humour, in moderation

Building positive relationship with colleague

1. Share at meetings

• share your proficiency, knowledge and individuality at office meetings.

2. Speak positively

• Do not bad mouth people!

• When you constantly speak positively about others, people will notice and recognize you as a better person

3. Be supportive and collaborative

4. Appreciate others

• Send thank you notes to those who have helped you at work

5. Be responsible

• If you’re unable to complete a task for some reason, make sure information is communicated to all team members who would be impacted.

6. Be considerate

• Understand that people are unique and dwell on their positive qualities, not their negative qualities

7. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

• Your co-workers are not mind readers, so make sure you’re communicating with them and your manager on a regular basis

Activity 4

• Group 1: Indonesian cleaners working at your office-(age: 49, very hardworking but always look tired as there are not enough cleaners working there)

• Group 2: Office boys (age:19, always try to win lady executives’ heart, attitude: playful) , clerks and technician (age: 53, very efficient when working and always serious at work)

• Group 3: Young executives. Need to ask the help of Group 1 to clean the mess in the office

• Group 4: Young executives. Need to work with Group 2, ask them to do some office tasks.

For Group 1 and Group 2:

Decide in your group how every members should behave when others ask for your help.

For Group 3 and Group 4:

Decide what kind of help you would need and how you are going to ask from Group 1 and Group 2 members.

Students’ assignment

• Due in 2 weeks time• Your presentation will be judged by professionals from

the corporate world.• Please record your group discussion today- how are

you going to do the assignment/ how to contact each other

• I need to analyse your discussions with your group mates today and during the 2 weeks discussion (using the Facebook Group for example)

• Please write the place, time, date and your feelings every time you use your mobile devices and web 2.0 tools when contacting your groups/ do the assignment in your students’ diary.

Thank you

Nurhasmiza Sazalli

[email protected]

References

• http://www.csedev.com/the-seven-barriers-of-communication• http://www.simmalieberman.com/articles/maleandfemale.html• http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm• http://www.angelfire.com/az2/webenglish/commstyles.html• http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lee_Hopkins• http://www.new-oceans.co.uk/new/learn.html• http://www.holistic-online.com/hol_neurolinguistic.htm#top• http://www.businessballs.com/body-language.htm#body-language-evolution• http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language • http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm• http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/presentationskills.htm• http://sbinfocanada.about.com/cs/marketing/a/negotiationkr.htm• http://urbanext.illinois.edu/dress/about.html