THE AU DIT ONS . I have never been fond of reality TV. Sure, I watched it like any other person my age would, but I never went ga ga over The Hills or other shows like that. When I go t the opportunity to audition off a show centred on college, I decided to take a shot and go for it. I mean, what is the worst thing that could happen? I get rejected, and then I go back to my regular old life, attend UCLA in the fall, forgetti ng that any of this ever happened. I saw no flaws in that reasoning. Forsome reason, I could feel my palms getting clammy , anticipating my name being called; that would lead me into the audition room. Hell, normally I would remain calm about these types ofthings, but for some reason, at this point in time, I was ridiculously nervous. Maybe it was in the light of the situation or something of the sort, but I was panicking. “Blaire Caravalli?” Oh shit. All I could remember was my throat feeling as thoug h there was something lodged inside of it. The moment that I finally walked into the audition room, I could feel my worries simply melt away . That was the feeling that I absolutely loved; the idea of serenity- and the loss of a fearof failure. I bit down on my lowe r lip- and I walked in with the desire to do my best. The first thing I noticed about the room was that it was plain. There was a video camera, a table and three executive producers sitting behind that desk. My short-lived confidence soon fell. I suddenly began feeling extremely self-conscious; all their eyes were glued onto me. I swallowed roughly , unsure if I was supposed to know what I had to do. My lower lip was no longer trembling violently- which was a good sign. The silence that currently inhabited the room felt as though it was lasting for hours, as though it just didn’t want to move out.
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So, the show officially started today, I was definitely excited but I was still a little bit
anxious to have my whole life being shoved under the camera. I moved into the dormitories, and
I met my new roommate, her name was Lillie Sawyer. She seems to be relatively low-key; you
could tell that she will stay out of the way. Of course, there is something about her that kind-of
confuses me, but I am sure that as time goes by I will get to know her a little bit better.
By this point, I’m determined to find that Shane guy that I met just before the show
started; he looked like a guy that I could definitely get along with. Plus, I would like to get the
details on him, maybe find out his story? Although, I really am not looking to find love, because
I’m pretty much guaranteed that this show will only be a short-time thing for me, because I stillhave my real education to finally deal with. But I guess whatever happens, happens. I’m
certainly not going to shut down any options for myself, especially not with Shane, seeing as he
is really, really cute.
And I definitely would not lie about that.
I gazed around my dorm room earlier. There were two cameras in there, which can be
covered while we are getting changed and stuff; but otherwise the cameras will always be on us.
I used the confession cam earlier today; I guess that if you all watch the show you can find out
what I said. Not like it’s anything important or something like that.
I guess that we all hold secrets around here, even me.
“Blaire.”
That was the only word that came out of my roommate’s mouth for most of the day. The
silence between us, well, it’s just bloody awkward at this point. I guess that me and her may not
get along at this point, because the way that the two of us are going, we are not going to get out
Well, today was a pretty rowdy day. The cast found out that they were going to kick off the character that the viewers favoured the least. For some reason, I was pretty confident that my
position on the show was pretty solid. What we did find out was that they wanted to kick of
Lillie because the viewer found that she was “just there” and that she was relatively “bland and
boring.” I knew that she had a lot of secrets that she had been keeping from the show. Of course,
I wasn’t that much of a bitch, so I wasn’t panning on exposing her on the show. Of course, if she
decided to do anything to screw with me, I would have no problem in taking her down. When I
got back to my dorm room, Lillie was waiting there, and I had a strong feeling that she was
craving a scandal. Biting down on my lower lip, I pulled my laptop from my desk, getting
prepared to check my e-mails.
“This is your entire fault, you know that Blaire,” Lillie scoffed, I knew that she was going
to try and get me to go off on her.
Or maybe just publicly humiliate myself on the show for giving in to her childishness.
“And how would that be, Lillie?” I said coldly, trying to see what kind of response that
I got called down to the “Dean’s Office,” which in reality is the executive producers
office. They were particularly concerned about my recent scandal, which in short, was the night
that I did cocaine in the bathroom at Legacy. They said that this type of scandal would either
make me, or break me. For some reason, I believed it would break me. I was warned to watch
out about the things that I did while the cameras were on me. I guess that there were some things
that I thought that people didn’t see, but they did. Or, maybe there wasn’t even a camera then,
maybe someone tipped the producers off. Either way, I knew that I was being watched. It was a
strange realization to know how much my own privacy had been violated ever since the show
started. I guess that I knew what to expect when I signed up for all of this.
I walked back to my dorm room; Lillie was waiting there as though she was going to
gloat towards me. I was shocked to find that she did anything but that. Lillie didn’t even speak to
me; it was slightly awkward, even now. I was sure that she knew about what happened that night between me and Shane, hell, the whole world probably knew about it by now. The show had
begun airing a few weeks ago by now, and I was pretty certain that there were pictures there of
me and Shane. Well, when I logged on later that day, my name was plastered among a ton of
celebrity gossip websites- you know, perezhilton and lucylemonjuice. They were all speculating
Though, I’m not leaving without spilling some dirty little secrets.
The only difference here is, is that I am doing it with my own sense of class. As well, I’m
going to have a big smile on my face. I’ve had a good time working on College 101; I’ve made a
lot of friends, gaining a lot of new experiences. That I will certainly take along with me for the
rest of my life. I remember when I first came to the show; I never thought that I would fall for a
guy, especially not Shane. Yeah, I fell for him. The only fallback was that falling for him came
with a price. That resulted in me making a mistake on my own. The media has recently been
speculating about the night that I went to Legacy. Now I can finally admit that I did cocaine withShane; and yes, I can admit that at first, I hated him for it. Then the two of is finally came around
with each other, which is something that I am personally happy about. Then, there is my
roommate, Lillie. The two of us didn’t get along with each other, and we still don’t.
I recently found out the reason why the two of us were pretty much destined to hate each
other so much. She had a history that I didn’t and couldn’t have with Shane. The main thing that
she had been hiding is a secret that she has been keeping from the world. That being, in her
sophomore year, she was pregnant with Shane’s child. There you go Lillie, your secret is out. Get
ready for some damage control, just like I had suffered. I never wanted to make any enemies on
the show, and i knew that from the beginning, but for some reason, I was the one that was being
brought into people’s pasts, as well as their own mistakes. I wish that I got a chance to know my
co-stars a lot better, especially my own roommate, Lillie. I always will hope that I will learn
from this experience, because that is definitely something that I have done. I will talk away a lotof the things that happened here, and make it so I get something out of it. I know that I did have a
lot of fun, and I wouldn’t change a lot of it for the world.
Let’s just say I’m done.
I was never one for reality TV anyways.
But there was one lesson I did learn, once you fall, it’s harder to get back up.