CjScarlet

CJ Scarlet WaltersCJ Scarlet Walters

Toughness, Tenacity and Compassion

Minding My BusinessMinding My BusinessMinding My BusinessMinding My Business

As a young girl, she was smitten by the stories her father and twin brother told her, both of whom served in

the Marines Corps. So it was natural for her to have a desire to serve in the military as well. As a young woman, CJ Scarlet proudly served her country as a Ma-rine. She was ready to serve because her father had pre-pared her for what she would encounter as a newly re-cruited Marine. What she wasn’t prepared for was a devastating diagnosis from her doctor. In 1990, CJ learned that she had lupus and scleroderma which ultimately affected her ability to continue service as a Marine. Though she is no longer serving in the Marine Corps, CJ continues to serve her country in another capacity -- as a humanitarian. She was deeply affected physically and emotionally by her health problems, but she is using her experience to serve others. Her achievements as a Marine, an entrepre-neur and humanitarian have inspired countless others to live life with vigor. Exceptional People Magazine was thrilled to speak with CJ and learn about her service, her vision to change the world and her company, Roving Coach International. Monica: When did you learn that you had lupus and scleroderma? CJ Scarlet: I was diagnosed with both of those in 1990. Monica: Were you in the military at that time, or was that before? CJ Scarlet: I had just gotten out of the military but I had symptoms of the lupus, and it takes years, sometimes, to diagnose those properly. I had symptoms probably for about five years before I was diagnosed and I got out of the Marine Corps in 1986. Monica: When you were experiencing symptoms, did that have an impact on your ability to serve in the mili-tary? CJ Scarlet: The fatigue was the biggest thing that I dealt with while I was in the military. The fatigue and the joint pain made it very difficult to continue working. I contin-ued to work and I was an exemplary Marine, but it was very difficult to deal with an illness when we didn't know what it was.

Monica: What inspired you to join the Marines? CJ Scarlet: My father was a Marine, my twin brother was a Marine. I had been raised on stories of the Marine Corps and I wanted to serve my country. I felt that it was very important that I do that. Monica: When you talk about Marines, people usually think of mostly men joining the Marines. Did you find it challenging when you first joined? CJ Scarlet: Yes, I did. There are not a lot of women in the Marine Corps. I was in the first women's platoon that had any combat training, so we had an extra week's worth of training in addition to traditional training and boot camp. It was tough. I became an honor graduate because my fa-ther and my recruiter taught me how to handle marching and how to field-strip an M-16, as well as other things be-fore I left. So when other girls would lie in their bunks at night crying because they wanted to go home, I'd lay there and think is this it? If all they're going to do is yell, this is easy. Monica: You also learned that you had two additional health conditions. You developed progressive heart and lung conditions. When you learned about that, what were your immediate thoughts? CJ Scarlet: I went numb immediately. I didn't understand what pulmonary hypertension was. Essentially it's when the blood pressure becomes so high that your heart begins to enlarge. So my doctor told me that my heart could fail at any time. Traditionally, people who are diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension are given a limited time, up to a couple of years to live. I was just in shock. Monica: At some point you decided that this is what you had to live with. When did you decide that you had to ef-fectively live with, or overcome your health problems? CJ Scarlet: When the lama gave me that cosmic head-slap. I really was not dealing with it well for about the first two years. I was very depressed and anxious. I felt ex-tremely isolated. My family was in denial and I was scared out of my mind. So I was a miserable human being. I had the opportunity to meet with a Tibetan Buddhist lama and I poured out my tale of woe and waited for him to shower sympathy on me. And I waited and I waited, and that's when I learned that lamas don't do dramas. The lama

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actually said to me – kindly, with compassion, but stead-ily – "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking about the happiness of other people." I had been an advocate and done all sorts of work on the behalf of other people, but when this happened to me I went very deep within and was focused solely on my own suffering. I forgot that other people were suffering too. Monica: Since then, how has your perspective on life changed? CJ Scarlet: Oh, it took a complete 180 degrees. I wasn't able to do much physically because I was very debilitated at that time, so I started small by saying prayers when an ambulance would pass by, and letting the mob of scream-ing kids go ahead of me in line at the grocery store – just little things that I could physically do, and I started to feel happier. Then I started to do more. I gave my cane to a woman who was struggling to walk. I contacted friends who I knew were going through problems and I sent them en-couraging notes. Just little, free, simple things that didn't take any effort on my part, and I felt happier again. Monica: To what or to whom do you credit your ability to live life fully despite your circumstances? CJ Scarlet: Well, I reached a point where I was doing so many acts of kindness that it took my focus completely off myself. So the reality that I was sick and dying just disappeared. Suddenly my reality was I had the power and the capacity to help other people and to be compas-sionate. I reached a place where I was so happy that if you offered me ten more years living as I did before I became ill, or one more day living with my new open and loving heart, I would have chosen that one day. What actually happened is that within 18 months of performing these acts of kindness my condition went into remission, and I feel better today than I've felt in 20 years. Monica: But you're still living with the condition? CJ Scarlet: Yes, I am. I'm still on a couple dozen medi-cations and I still have the occasional problem, but it doesn't bother me. I am not this illness. I am not defined by my illness. I'm defined by the human being that I am and I continue to help others.

I started the Kindness Cure campaign, which is designed to motivate people to help me perform one million acts of kindness. We're up to about 150,000 acts of kindness. My Kindness Cure project is actually joining forces with the Kindness Project. I started a social networking site where people could regis-ter and commit to perform an act of kindness every day for one year. That's how we counted the number of acts of kindness that people were doing. We're in transition, collaborating with the Kindness Project, so we're going to have a new website soon, but our goal is to reach that million mark within a couple of years. People go on the site, they read stories about other people's acts of kindness, and they share their own. Whenever I begin to feel down about anything, I can go to the site and feel like a million bucks in a minute. Monica: There's a place to go to sweep your troubles away and be thankful for what others have done. That makes you feel better. CJ Scarlet: That's right. The stories are so heartwarming that it's important – and when I was talking about the physiological benefits of performing an act of kindness, you receive the same benefits from reading about other people's acts of kindness. Monica: For many years you have been an advocate for individuals facing tragedy and trauma. How did you be-come involved and what are some things that you do to help people in that sense? CJ Scarlet: My master's degree is actually an interdiscipli-nary humanities degree in human violence. I wanted to understand how human beings could do the things they do to one another, because I was sexually assaulted when I was a child. I didn't understand how people could hurt each other in war and terrorism and in other ways. So I studied the situation until I felt compelled to become an advocate. I worked for United Way and I operated a child advocacy center. Now I'm running a traditional cor-porate business, but on the side I do volunteer work for Hospice of Wade County. Also, I keep vigils with people who are dying and I am a volunteer caregiver. So I find ways whenever I can to help people who are experiencing life's transitions find the peace and happiness that I have found.

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Monica: With the Healing Tree Foundation you're also meeting the needs of children and adult victims as well. CJ Scarlet: Yes. I think when people go through trau-matic experiences, they don't know that there's hope out there because they don't know that they're appreciated. I am continually amazed at the capacity of the human spirit to overcome tragedy and trauma. People are simply amazing. Sometimes the people who've been through the worst things – and you've seen this as the editor of Excep-tional People Magazine – the people who go through the worst things end up being the greatest human beings.

Monica: Yes, absolutely. They have an amazing and positive im-pact on so many lives. CJ Scarlet: Yes, and it ripples through generations in ways we will never know. Monica: Through World Kind-ness Day, what do you ultimately hope to accomplish? CJ Scarlet: World Kindness Day is usually held the second week of November and I think it began in Japan. The purpose is to have peo-ple around the world take at least one day to consider how they can help others. There are movements springing up all over the world with people who are performing acts of kindness. I'm just one little person out of a sea of people who are doing won-derful things. So my goal would be to have the Kindness Project, which we're in the process of im-



it on your own because if something happens to you, there's no one to take up the slack. Monica: Tell me more about roving coaching. CJ Scarlet: Roving coaching is a new concept and rather than the traditional coaching model where there's an hour spent several times a week, which I liken to the breast stroke, we do immersion diving. We do 30-minute sessions with people that take them very deeply into a personal or professional issue. We don't do counseling, we don't give advice. We ask powerful questions to help people access their innate wisdom. Roving Coach has been around for a year, we're about to go global and we're very excited. This is going to be a $100 million company that we're building, so we're very excited about it. Monica: That's wonderful foresight. CJ Scarlet: Yes. The moment I got the idea for it, and I believe it was divinely inspired, because the words "roving coaching" and 30-minute sessions popped out of my mouth and I had no idea where they came from. But the universe is bringing us all the resources, all the peo-ple, everything we have needed. It's like we were chosen to do this, my partners and I. So everything we have planned has come to be, and I knew the minute I got the idea that this was a $100 million company. Monica: You spoke about how important it is to bring people into your company. How did you find your part-ners? CJ Scarlet: I had spoken at a church about my illness and how I overcame it. A woman was in the audience and asked me to share my story with her husband, who had just been diagnosed with cancer. Over a couple of years we stayed in touch, and then one day we met for coffee and by the end of it we agreed to do our individual coaching prac-tices together to support one another. Then we were at an event just a month later, a luncheon event, and one of the speakers was so passionate and powerful we asked to meet with her. I shared my idea of a roving coach and she lit up like a firecracker and said, "Let's do this." So a lot of it is serendipity. A lot of it is choosing people that you trust and that you know are going to fully support you and have the same passion and vision that you do. It's very important that they have the same level of vision and passion.

plementing within two years on World Kindness Day, announce that it's reached the one million mark. Monica: You were also involved with the Springboard Enterprises Mid-Atlantic Venture Capital forum, which helps women business owners. What are some prerequi-sites that a business owner must possess in order to com-pete with a venture capitalist? CJ Scarlet: Passion. Passion for what you're doing. You can't meet with a banker or venture capitalist with half-hearted enthusiasm for what you're doing. You have to believe it so strongly that you convey that to them. I would say passion is the most important thing. You must have a solid plan. You can't go in there without a clear plan. They want to see that you know what you're doing and that you have involved people who can support you in your goals. Monica: Do you consider yourself disabled? CJ Scarlet: No, I don't. I have a handicap sticker that I use when I feel that I have to, but I don't consider myself disabled because I'm able to do virtually anything I want. I can't always do it as well as other people, and some-times I'm debilitated and can't do much, but there's al-ways something I can do. One of the terms that disabled people like to use is "differently abled." Monica: Ah, I see. So what advice would you offer oth-ers who have a dream and are disabled? CJ Scarlet: My number one piece of advice would be to obtain the support and help of others. In 2000 I started a company called the Healing Tree, which was a wonderful Internet company that was going to sell medical products for people with disabilities. I was the sole owner and although I had people working for me, I had all the re-sponsibility, the stress and all the leadership responsibili-ties. When I became ill in 2000, which led to me being diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension in 2002, I had to close the company. So I simply couldn’t do it on my own. Now, I have started Roving Coach International, which is a company that provides coaching to the masses, to all employees, so that they can have access to coaching like management does. I have two partners and having two partners has tripled the fun. The shared responsibility relieves me of a lot of stress. So I would say have good partners, don't try to do


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action steps and ask themselves how they're going to hold themselves accountable. We do it all in 30 minutes. We're working with clients now, and the model is proving itself over and over again. It's a very powerful model. Monica: Are you targeting people in all professions and areas of life? CJ Scarlet: Yes. Our main focus is companies that are or aspire to become great places to work, the companies that already appreciate their employees and provide bene-fits. But we'll work with almost any company that wants its employees to have a better work experience, because we feel that we can go into these organizations and offer coaching to the employees. They're going to feel more ap-preciated and feel that they're important to their organiza-tion. Monica: So you're more targeted towards companies than individuals. CJ Scarlet: That's correct. We work strictly with compa-nies and nonprofits who want to provide benefits to their employees, because coaching is common among execu-tives, but the middle managers and other employees typi-cally don't have access to coaching. Monica: Would what you're doing apply, for example, to an employee who is experiencing harassment on the job? CJ Scarlet: We don't do remedial coaching. When it comes to situations like that where there's activity going on that's endangering someone, we refer them to their em-ployee assistance program. If there's something illegal go-ing on or there's harassment taking place, we are obligated to make a report. We don't do remedial coaching. If that happens, we refer them to someone who does remedial coaching, or to their employee assistance program. We are not therapists. I want to thank you because your magazine -- I was looking through the website and exploring it, and you're bringing to life the stories of people who are out there changing the world. As I said earlier, when we read about an act of kind-ness or we read an inspirational story, we are uplifted. So what you are doing with your magazine is lifting people up, giving them hope and the feeling that they can make a dif-ference in the world. That, to me, is the most important thing of all. �

Monica: In December of 2000 you were recognized by Metro Entrepreneur Magazine and Metro Magazine for your high-tech company. How long did you have a high-tech company, and what type of services or products did you provide? CJ Scarlet: This was Healing Tree, the company I started back in 2000. It was going to sell medical equip-ment for people with disabilities. If your grandmother broke her hip you'd be able to go to our website, and we had a database where you could enter hip replacement or driving, for instance, and we would provide lists of prod-ucts she could use to make her life easier and less painful. A lot of people don't know that these products exist. So the company had been in place for about a year when we were selected for that honor, but it was only a few months after that, that I became ill and had to close the company. Monica: What really makes you happy? CJ Scarlet: Helping other people. When I see people who are struggling, feeling hopeless and helpless and I remind them that there are people who care about them, that the universe is on their side, that often obstacles are opportunities in disguise, it brings me so much joy. I tell them that they have the power and capacity to improve their lives. Monica: With your roving coach business, you also practice a technique called laser coaching. CJ Scarlet: Yes. Laser coaching is about getting right to the point. We spend the first five minutes of any ses-sion allowing individuals to delve deeply into how they feel about a particular situation. Say, for example, they're not getting along with their manager and they feel very strongly about that. We let them explore their feelings and we validate them. Even if all they get out of it is feeling heard and validated, they've received something important. We ask them to imagine what it would be like if their circumstances were perfect, then we ask them to take action steps to lead to that situation. So the important thing we do is remind people that they alone can change their circumstances. The manager is not going to change, so they have to do something differ-ently themselves. We empower them with the under-standing that they have a responsibility and choice to make changes. Then we have them agree to a couple of



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