Cindy Trimm - Christian diet

DESTINYIMAGEBOOKSBYDR.CINDYTRIMM

The40DaySoulFast

40DaystoDiscoveringtheRealYou

40DaySoulFastCurriculum

©Copyright2014—Dr.CindyTrimmAllrightsreserved.ThisbookisprotectedbythecopyrightlawsoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica.Thisbookmaynotbecopiedorreprintedforcommercialgainorprofit.Theuseofshortquotationsoroccasionalpagecopyingforpersonalorgroupstudyispermittedandencouraged.Permissionwillbegranteduponrequest.Unlessotherwiseidentified,ScripturequotationsaretakenfromtheNewKingJamesVersion.Copyright©1982byThomasNelson,Inc.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreserved.ScripturequotationsmarkedCEVaretakenfromtheContemporaryEnglishVersionCopyright©1995bytheAmericanBibleSociety,NewYork,NY.Allrightsreserved.ScripturequotationsmarkedMSGaretakenfromTheMessage.Copyright©1993,1994,1995,1996,2000,2001,2002.UsedbypermissionofNavPressPublishingGroup.ScripturequotationsmarkedAMParetakenfromtheAmplified®Bible,Copyright©1954,1958,1962,1964,1965,1987byTheLockmanFoundation.Usedbypermission.ScripturequotationsmarkedNASBaretakenfromtheNEWAMERICANSTANDARDBIBLE®,Copyright©1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995byTheLockmanFoundation.Usedbypermission.ScripturequotationsmarkedESVaretakenfromTheHolyBible,EnglishStandardVersion®(ESV®),copyright©2001byCrossway,apublishingministryofGoodNewsPublishers.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreserved.ScripturequotationsmarkedNLTaretakenfromtheHolyBible,NewLivingTranslation,copyright1996,2004.UsedbypermissionofTyndaleHousePublishers.,Wheaton,Illinois60189.Allrightsreserved.ScripturequotationsmarkedNIVaretakenfromtheHOLYBIBLE,NEWINTERNATIONALVERSION®,Copyright©1973,1978,1984,2011 InternationalBibleSociety.UsedbypermissionofZondervan.All rightsreserved. All emphasiswithin Scripture quotations is the author’s own. Please note that Destiny Image’s publishing stylecapitalizescertainpronounsinScripturethatrefertotheFather,Son,andHolySpirit,andmaydifferfromsomepublishers’styles.Takenotethatthenamesatanandrelatednamesarenotcapitalized.Wechoosenottoacknowledgehim,eventothepointofviolatinggrammaticalrules.ManuscriptpreparedbyRickandMelissaKillian,KillianCreative,Boulder,Colorado.www.killiancreative.com.DESTINYIMAGE®PUBLISHERS,INC.P.O.Box310,Shippensburg,PA17257-0310“PromotingInspiredLives.”ThisbookandallotherDestinyImage,RevivalPress,MercyPlace,FreshBread,DestinyImageFiction,andTreasureHousebooksareavailableatChristianbookstoresanddistributorsworldwide.ForaU.S.bookstorenearestyou,call1-800-722-6774.Formoreinformationonforeigndistributors,call717-532-3040.ReachusontheInternet:www.destinyimage.com.ISBN13TP:978-0-7684-0348-0ISBN13Ebook:978-0-7684-8478-6ForWorldwideDistribution,PrintedintheU.S.A.12345678/1817161514

Whatwouldyougivetogetbackyoursoul?(Matthew16:26CEV).

ForfreedomChristhassetusfree;standfirmtherefore,anddonotsubmitagaintoayokeofslavery(Galatians5:1ESV).

Becarelessinyourdressifyoumust,butkeepatidysoul.—MarkTwain

DEDICATIONANDACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Firstandforemost,IdedicatethisbooktomyLordandSaviorJesusChrist.Thankyouforgiftingmewiththeskillofeffectivecommunication.

Toallwhoareinsearchofapracticalguideforlivinganunencumberedlifewithmeaningandpurpose.

Tomymotherwhogavememyfirstmapinlifebylivingexemplarilybeforeme.TomybrothersandsistersStanley,Charlene,Winston,Marilyn,Deborah,andFreda,who

havebeenthebesttravelingcompanionsanyonecouldhaveaskedfor.Tothenextgenerationofmoversandshakersandhistorymakers:MarvinTrimm,Leticia

Seymour, Savon Stowe, Winnette Trimm, Laquita Trimm, Ashaunte Trimm, Aaron Trimm,Rachel Ball, Reaia Ball, Ashe Trimm, Asia Trimm, Riel Trimm. To Mitzy, Andrea, Nadine,Robert,Paul,Cyril,andDerrick,youhavecontributedsomuchtomylifebyplayingaroleinhelpingtoproducethenextgenerationof“Trimms,”mybeautifulniecesandnephews.

ToDr. JacqueDelRosario,VincentDelRosario,Dr.FranPinder,Dr.DorieMcKnight,GinaRoberts, Jim and Rochelle Moech, Lisa Palmer, Malcom and Terisita Harris, PamelaShillingford, Marion Tanock, D. Myron Brangman, Beverley Jones, Lynette Webb, MerleWilliams,SandraMing,Gloria-JeanDickerson,DeneiseLightbourne,AdriannTucker-Raynor,Jonelle Christopher, Lorna MaGowen, Albert Lightbourn, Angria Bassette, Theresa Tucker,Donna-Mae Hinds, Deborah Stead, Robin Tota, Rhonda Lambert, Miriam Simmons, MurielSantucci, Katherine, Melissa Butterfield, and the entire KU Bermuda staff; your generouscontributionshavemademydreamofpublishingthisbookareality.

ToWendyWilliams,A.MonicaJackson,SharonHarris,HolleyRichardson,JewelEdwards,MelvaHodge,DebbieLeakey,DoloresHughes,ClaudetteMcAlpin,ClaudetteHinds,ShamerraBrown,ElkeSmith-Pettiford,JaniceRuff,TonyaParker,TrenieceGriffin,MarcusGreen,YamiaGreen, JimmieGreen,RobinGreen, “Uncle”Larry,DarlenePachot,AnetteOrtega,Dr. JonieDodgens, Lisa Saddleburgh, Lisa Washington, Abraham Thomas, Dr. Rita Claxton, Dr. LoriJohnston,BeverleyMoore,MarieButler,JeannetteBayardell,ShamaliaWillis,DennisWorden,KellyUmstead,AndreaandApostleCarter;youhavebeenthebestexecutive,administrative,and volunteer staff (past and present) in the world. Thank you for standing with me andexemplifyingtruecommitment.

TomypublishingteamatDestinyImage,mostespeciallyRondaRanalli,TerriMeckes,andLarry Sparks, I am ever grateful for your enduring patience, diligence, support, andpartnership.

To Rick & Melissa Killian, you waded through hundreds of pages of what I called amanuscriptandhelpedmetoturnitintoabook.Thankyouforyourliterarybrilliance.

Toallthosewhoprayedformeandcontributedtooureffortsandinitiativestomakethisworld a better place; those too numerous to name, because your names would constitutewritingabookjusttosay,“Thanks”…Idedicatethisbooktoyou.

Youareallthewindbeneathmywings.

CONTENTS

IntroductionPreface

PARTONE:THEPOWERTHATWORKSINYOU

ChapterOne:God’sPlanAChapterTwo:YOUbyDivineDesignChapterThree:LongingforBelongingChapterFour:ThePowertoChange

PARTTWO:THEROADTORESILIENCY:40DISCIPLINESOFARESILIENTPERSON

WeekOne:ConfrontingNaturalSoulTiesWeekTwo:ConfrontingEmotionalSoulTiesWeekThree:ConfrontingRelationalSoulTiesWeekFour:ConfrontingDysfunctionalRelationshipsWeekFive:BreakingtheCycleWeekSix:BuildingNewBoundariesWeekSeven:EncounteringChristWeekEight:ReclaimingYourSoulAppendix:APersonalContractforLivingaResilientLifeEndnotes

INTRODUCTION

Everymomentandeveryeventofeveryman’slifeonearthplantssomethinginhissoul.—ThomasMerton

We are all a product of the stories we tell ourselves. We live in an invisible frameworkconstructedbyourpastexperiences,upheldbytheunconsciousmechanismsweputintoplacetoprotectourconsciousminds.Therealityweexperienceiscreatedbythethoughtswethink.“Theworldaswehavecreatedit isaprocessofourthinking,”observedAlbertEinstein.“Itcannotbechangedwithoutchangingourthinking.”Itisauniversalprinciple,indeed—“As[aman]thinkethinhisheartsoishe.”1This series of books, beginning with The 40 Day Soul Fast: Your Journey to Authentic

Living, has been written with the soul-purpose of helping you change the process of yourthinkingbyfindingsoul-utions.Why?Because,aswearetoldinProverbs,themachinationofthe soul “determines the course or your life.”2 Further down we read, “don’t get side-tracked.”3You,yourreality,yourworld—atleasthowyouinterpretyourexperienceofbeingalive on the earth—is a product of your mental state. Many are operating from a state ofrepressionorsuppression—subconsciouslyorconsciouslychoosingtoforget,ignore,oravoidpainful or negative experiences. By doing so, the same patterns, scripts, events, traumas,difficulties,andobstaclestogrowthcontinuallyrepeatthemselves.Ifyouarenotgrowing,maturing,andbuildingyourcapacitytobeanddomorewithevery

passingday,youarestagnating.ThatriveroflivingwaterthatJesussaidwouldflowoutfromwithin each of us4 becomes blocked; psychological barricades, protective barriers, anddefensemechanismsareerectedontheinternallandscapeofourminds.Likestagnantwatersthat become foul and brackish—providing the perfect environment for dangerous parasitesand pests to breed—an unhealthy soul threatens the beauty of the natural order andundermines the health of both our spiritual and social ecosystem. This may seem over-dramatic,butdon’tyouknowthehealthofsocietyisdeterminedbythehealthofitsmembers?Thesoulofasocietyisareflectionofthesoulsofitspeople.Iftheworldyouseearound

youisbroken,itisbecausethepeoplewithinitarebroken.Likewise,brokenrelationshipsarearesultofbrokenpeople.It’snothardtobelieve,therefore,thatwhatwemightcall“cesspoolsofthemind”threaten

thehealthofyourbodyaswellasyoursoul,andthatthis“dis-ease”ultimatelythreatensyourrelationships. As with any water source, it needs to be kept clean and flowing freely—thewellspringof livingwater available to youmust remain free of junk and clutter. That takeswork. You’ve got to do the heavy lifting of clearing away debris, breaking up dams, andmaintainingwell-definedchannels.Itismuchliketendingagarden.Toenjoythebeautyofit,youmustgetyourhandsdirty.Youmustcultivateit,pruneandweedit,waterandnourishthesoil. If you let it go unattended, you risk it being overgrownbyweeds and thistles—worse,under thegroundhidden fromsight, those rootsarechokingoutandbindingup theentirerootsystem.Thebeautifulgardenyouintendedbecomesroot-bound,withers,andeventuallydies. If, however, you did a little weeding each day, nothingwould keep your garden fromflourishing.That iswhyI’vewrittenthisbook—tohelpyousuccessfullytendthegardenofyoursoul.

You need to know how to identify the tares from the wheat in your life, how to create anenvironment where your best self can flourish, and where and when to plant for a betterfuture.

THEJOURNEY

ThebookyouarepresentlyreadingisthesecondinstallmentofTheSoulSeries,whichisdesignedtotakeyouonatransformativejourneyfromsoultobodytoworld.Inbookone,The

40 Day Soul Fast: Your Journey to Authentic Living, I talked about the importance ofembracing your true identity—the authentic, divinely created unique self. We began byexploringyour incrediblepotential,extraordinaryworth,andtheprofoundexpressionofthedivine nature that you are called to reveal in your daily life. We discussed the effects ofnegativewords,mental scripts,and theclutter thataccumulates inyoursoulmuddying theluster of your soul’s inherent beauty. By ridding your soul of those “soul toxins”—the dailyminutiaandnegativitythatproducecorrosivethoughtpatternsandlimitingbeliefs—youareable tobreak free from the scar tissueof themind.Youcanchange thementalhabits thatkeep you from living authentically. To help you in the process of renewing your mind andembracingyourtrueself,weexploredthefortycharacteristicsofanauthenticperson.As so many have attested, The 40 Day Soul Fast created a space for meaningful self-

reflectionandtremendousinnerhealing—amapandacompassforlivingmoreauthentically—andyet,while thegroundworkwas laid forcultivatingthe lifeof thesoul, thiswasonlythebeginning.After having read The 40 Day Soul Fast, and hopefully taken the free AQ (Authenticity

Quotient)Assessmentatwww.soulfast.com,youshouldhaveaclearerunderstandingofwhoyouwerecreatedtobe—ablueprintofwhatyourmostauthenticselfwouldlooklike.IfyouhavenottakenthefreeAQAssessment,Istronglyrecommendthatyoutakeafewminutestodosonow.Aswithanyotherfastingordetoxregimen,ifyoureturntothesameoldhabits,behaviors,

andcopingmechanismsthatcausedthedisequilibriumordis-ease inthefirstplace, than inthe end you will have defeated the purpose. You must learn to identify and change thebehavioralpatternsthatcontinuallythreatentooppressanddebilitateyoursoul.Whatarethehabits and practices you engage in that cause you to erect those facades and defensemechanisms—the falseself thatcastsashadowrepressingyourdivinepotentialandpullingyouawayfromthefreedomofauthenticliving?Inbookthreeofthisseries,youwill learnaboutthephysiologicaleffectsofyourthought

life;howemotional“disorder”manifestsasdisordersinyourbody—howmuchofthedis-easeweexperiencebeginsinthecorridorsofthemind.Buttohavethatconversation,wemustfirsthavethisone.How,then,doyoureclaimyoursoul?Howdoyouseverunhealthysoulties—thosedestinyalteringandpurposeunderminingemotionalattachments?Howdoyouunblockthoseriversoflivingwatersoyoucanflushawaythestagnantpoolsthathavepocketedinthehiddenrecessesofyourpsyche?Howdoyourecaptureandrevealthebrillianceofyourownsoul?

EMPOWERMENTTHROUGHRESILIENCY

Youmust build into your life a new skill set, a newdiscipline for acting and reacting topeopleandcircumstances,sothatyoudon’tagainfallpreytothehiddenrepressionsofthesoul.Youmustlearntodeliberatelyreclaimyoursouleverymomentofeveryday.Thisiswhatempowermentisallabout.ThisisthepathtotrueandlastingempowermentandwhyIhavewrittenthisbook—asafieldguide,sotospeak,ofhowtomovefromamindrenewedthroughthepracticeofsoulfasting,intoalifeempoweredbynewhabitsandbehavioralpatterns.Thisisthefoundationofbuildingyourcapacitytonotonlyachieveyourgoalsandlivethelifeofyour dreams, but also to grow into becoming a person of influence—and it is the“empowerment process” I have taught about and coached thousands through around theworld(visitwww.explorecore4.comtolearnmore).Why is thisempowermentprocessso important?Becauseuntilyouareable toshiftyour

mindset about who you are andwhat you are capable of, and translate that into the dailyhabits, behaviors, and practices that will point you toward success, youwill never be in apositiontomaximizeyourpotentialasaleaderandchangecatalyst.Attheendoftheday,thatiswhatempowerment isallabout—givingyou the tools, strategies,andencouragementyouneedtobeapositiveforceforthegoodofall.Andthatrequiresresiliency.Empowerment is the fruit of resiliency. That iswhy Iwant to take you from livingmore

authentically to living more resiliently. In The 40 Day Soul Fast we talked about the keycharacteristicsofanauthenticperson,inthisbookwewillbetalkingaboutthekeydisciplines—orbestpractices—ofaresilientperson.Whatarethetypesofbehaviorsandhabitspracticedbyresilientpeople?Whataretheskillsyouneedtodeveloponadailybasistokeepyoufreefromemotionalentanglementsandtoxicthoughtpatterns?Theseareeclipsedaspectsofourselves—psychological strongholds that result in infantile tendencies, neurotic thoughts, andrepressedfeelingsthatthreatentoeruptatanytime.Iknowwhatit’sliketobattleforthepeaceandlifeofmysoulonadailybasis.Wealldo.

Weareallresponsiblefortheongoingreclamationprocesswhenitcomestothehealthand

wholenessofoursouls. It iswithpatienceweare instructedbyJesustopossessoursouls.5Buthowdoyouactually“takepossession”ofyoursoul?Youbeginbyunderstandingwhatisthreateningtolayclaimtoit.Inthiseight-weekstudy,

youwilllearnthetypesofsoulexchangesthatcanderailyourbestintentionstoprotectit.Youwilllearnhowtonavigateandcircumventthekindsofinteractions,agreements,associations,and communication patterns that undermine your attempts to preserve the health of yoursoul.Iwillshowyouhowtorecognizethevariouschannelsthattheforcesopposingyoursoulusetoentrapandoppressit.But more importantly, I will show you how to tell a new story—how to shift reality by

reconstructingtheframeworkyouhavecreatedforyourmindtooperatewithin,theartificialshelter you’ve erected to protect your soul. Yes, you are unconsciously doing your best tosafeguardyourmostprizedpossession,butlikeanoverprotectivefatherwhoendsupjailinghisdaughterinahightower,youmustlearntotrustthevoiceofyoursoul,learntobeledbyits wisdom, and lean on its profound ability to intuit the best direction to take in everysituation.ItisintherealmofyoursoulthattheSpiritofGodgiveswisdomforliving—timelessstrategiesforlivingthebestlifepossible.Godwillempoweryoutoshiftfrommakinginstinct-baseddecisionstoinspiration-baseddecisions.“Inspirationisthevoiceofyoursoulgivingyoudirection in your life; it is the voice of your soul in the world,” teaches Richard Barrett,founderoftheBarrettValuesCenter.“Whenyoulearntohearthevoiceofyoursoul,youcanbegin to leadavalues-driven life [rather thananego-driven life]—whenyouunderstandthevaluesheldinyoursoul,youcanleadalifeofmeaningandpurposebyavoidingthebehaviorsrootedinfear-basedbeliefs.”Headmonishesusallto“beginlivingthelifeofthesoul.”Asyoubeginthisnextsouljourney,Iwantyoutorememberthateverybehaviorislearned;

and likewise,everynewpractice,discipline,andhabitcanbemastered.Youarewhereyouare todaybecauseof thehabits youare currentlypracticing, so all youneed todo is learnwhattododifferently.It’snotcomplicated.You’llbeginexercisinganewdisciplineonedayata time. Step by step.Oneweekwill turn into twoweeks, and then amonth, and then twomonths.AsIsooftensay,thirtydayscreatesadiscipline,sixtydaysahabit,andninetydaysalifestyle.Infortydaysfromnow,youwillbewellonyourwaytomasteringthepracticesthatwillequipyoutobecomethekindofresilientpersonthatisempoweredforlife.Thatismyprayerforyou.

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, thedirectorofhislife.—JamesAllen

PREFACE

Just as a mirror, which reflects all things, is set in its own container, so too therationalsoul isplaced in the fragilecontainerof thebody. In thisway, thebody isgoverned in itsearthly lifeby thesoul,andthesoulcontemplatesheavenly thingsthroughfaith.—HildegardofBinden

Humanbeingsarenot justbodies,butsoulswearingbodies.Tobemoreaccurate,wearesoulswhointeractwiththephysicalworldthroughourphysicalbodies.Wearealsosoulswhointeractwiththespiritualworldthroughourspirits.Thoughsciencehasyettodiscoverawaytodeterminewhereourphysicalbodiesendandwhereoursoulsbegin,wearestillmoresoulthanbody.Onedayourbodieswillpassawayandreturntodust,butoursoulswillgoonintoeternity.

Our souls operate on a spiritual plane—what quantum physicists have identified as thefourthdimension—theunseenquantumworldthatliesbeyondtimeandspaceandshapesallthatweseeinthephysicalworld.Oursoulsbridgetheeternalwiththetemporal,pickuponthefrequenciesofheaven,andtranslatespiritualtruthsintothelanguagethatourmindscancomprehend.Yoursoulisthesourceofyourhealing,purpose,andsuccesswhenithasbeenseededbytheSpiritofChristandwateredbytheWordofGod.WhenyoursoulcomesaliveinChrist,agenesistakesplace.Anewworldofpossibilitiesemerges—akindofalternatereality,whichtheBiblecallstheKingdomofHeaven.ThisKingdomisreceivedinseedformwhenitisbirthedinyouuponsalvation.Youbecomeamulti-dimensionalbeing—achildoftheCreatoroftheWorld—achildofLight.

Yoursoulhavingbeenseededwithlight—withdivinelove—carriestheDNAofLoveHimself(see1 John4:16).TheFatherofLight—“all light” (James1:17AMP)—deliberately fashionedandformedyoursoulasauniquereflectionofHislight—yourextraordinaryuniqueself—toberevealedatthisverytimeinhistory.Yoursoulisthesourceofwhatmakesyoualive.Itiswhattransmits light to your life. This iswhyApostle Paul gave the instruction: “Awake youwhosleep,arisefromthedead,andChristwillgiveyoulight”(Eph.5:14).Pauldoesn’tmeanthatwhenyoujumpoutofbedChristwillshinedownabeamoflightonyourpajama-cladbody;butrather,itisyouwhomustdisciplineyoursoultoharnessthelightthatChristgives.Pauloffersstep-by-stepinstructionsabouthowtodojustthat:

“Yoursoulisthesourceofwhatmakesyoualive.”…Livepurposefullyandworthilyandaccurately,notastheunwiseandwitless,butaswise (sensible, intelligentpeople),making theverymostof the time [buyingupeachopportunity],becausethedaysareevil.Thereforedonotbevagueandthoughtlessandfoolish,butunderstandingandfirmlygraspingwhatthewilloftheLordis.Anddonotgetdrunkwithwine,forthatisdebauchery;buteverbefilledandstimulatedwiththe[Holy] Spirit. Speak out to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,offeringpraisewithvoices[andinstruments]andmakingmelodywithallyourhearttotheLord,atall timesandforeverythinggivingthanks inthenameofourLordJesusChristtoGodtheFather(Ephesians5:15-20AMP).

STEWARDINGYOURSOUL

Livingonpurpose,makingthemostofthetime,beingledbytheSpirit,offeringpraise,andgiving thanks are some of the ways to enlighten—as well as lighten—your soul. Your soul,then,isatransmitteroflightthatiseitherpositionedtocaptureandharnessthelight,ortorepel it.Youare in theconductor’sseat.Youcanchoose topositionyoursoulbyaligning it

with behavioral best practices as outlined by Paul, or to remain spiritually asleep—sleepwalkingthroughlifeamongtheclutterofthelivingdead.Therewillalwaysbenegativeforcespullingyouawayfromthelight,attemptingtosuppressordiminishthelightyoucarry,forasPaulwrote,“thedaysareevil.” But youhave thepowerwithin you to overcomeanydarkness with the light emanating from your soul. Celtic priest and philosopher JohnO’Donohuewrote,“Negativity isanaddictiontothebleakshadowthat lingersaroundeveryhumanform.Youcantransfigurenegativitybyturningittowardthelightofyoursoul.”

Youmay feel like only a small flicker in a darkworld, but you are not alone. Imagine afootballstadiumfilledwithpeopleholdinguptheirlighters—allthosetinyflickers,lightingupthewholefield!Youmayfeellikealonelylighthouseonanislandamidstadark,ragingsea,butyouareamongmanypositionedtolightuptheshoreline.Yoursoulgivesyoumorethanthelightofself-knowledge—itgivesyoutheabilitytobeknownbyothersaswell.Youareableto influence and to be influenced, “because to influence a person is to give him one’s ownsoul,”wroteOscarWilde.

ButWildealsowarnsofthedanger.Althoughwelongtocometogetherandconnectonadeeplevel—toknowandbeknown—wemustbecarefultomaintaintheintegrityofourownsouls. Wilde goes on to write that when an exchange takes place at the level of the soul,“[One]doesnotthinkhisnaturalthoughts,orburnwithhisnaturalpassions.Hisvirtuesarenot real to him.His sins…are borrowed.He becomes an echo of someone else’smusic, anactorofapartthathasnotbeenwrittenforhim.”Wewilldiscussthisconceptofexchangeingreat detail throughout this book, as these are the soul-level connections that need to beevaluated,andifunhealthy,brokeninorderforustoreclaimoursoulsandliveresilientlives.

Wildeconcludesbymakingthefollowingobservation:

Theaimoflifeisself-development.Torealizeone’snatureperfectly—thatiswhateachofus ishere for.Peopleareafraidof themselves,nowadays.Theyhave forgotten thehighestofallduties,thedutythatoneowestooneself.Ofcoursetheyarecharitable.Theyfeedthehungry,andclothethebeggar.Buttheirownsoulsstarve,andarenaked.Couragehasgoneoutofourrace.—ThePictureofDorianGray

ThisremindsmeofaversefromEcclesiasteswhichstates,“Weworktofeedourappetites;meanwhile our souls go hungry” (Eccles. 6:7 MSG). How do we keep our own souls fromstarving?Howdowenotneglectthehighestofallduties—toproperlycarefor,nourish,andprotect our own souls? Could this be at the root of humanity’s woes? Could the hunger,conflict,anddarknessweseeintheworldbeareflectionoftheconditionofourinnerlives?Havewe failed to take possession of the kingdoms of this world for our Lord Jesus Christbecausewehavefailedtotakefullpossessionofourownsouls?Thisiswhatwewillexploreinthe fourth and final book of this series. But for now,wewill look at how you can begin topossessyoursoulbylearningtopracticethedisciplinesandbehaviorsthatwillestablishtheenvironmentyoursoulneedstothrive.

WHATISTRUEFREEDOM?

To review, your soul is the seatof your reflectiveconsciousnesshousingyourmind,will,and emotions, also your intellect, decision-making ability, and your heart. Proverbs 4:23exhortsyouto,“Keepyourheartwithalldiligence,foroutofitspringtheissuesoflife.”Thewordissueinthisverseisusedtodenotea“placeofdeparture.”1Ipictureitlikethesourceorheadwatersofa spring that flows intoa streamand then intoamighty river.From it comewatersthat,thoughtheystartsmall,havethecapacitytogrowtosustainandnurturelifeinplateausandvalleysformilesonend.Oursoulsarethe“thesourceoftruelife” (Prov.4:23CEV).

Thesoulistheseatofideasandinventions,anyoneofwhichcanlighttheworld,transformageneration,orfreeacontinent.Whileitisthecenterofourbeing,itisalsowhatkeepsuscentered, balanced between physical and spiritual needs and desires—between coldintellectual calculations, strength of will, and compassionate justice. It is the cradle ofprosperity and health, the womb of inspiration and aspiration, and the lathe of policy andprograms.Itistheconduitthroughwhichallgoodthingscomeintotheworld.

Butifoursoulsarenotfreetobetheirbest,noneofthiscomesabout.Someexercisetheirphysicalfreedomonlytofindtheydothingsthatenslavetheirsoulstosubstances,behaviors,orrelationships thateatawayat theirverycoreandare incrediblydifficult toescape.Theyexercisea“freedom”thatinhibitstheirownsuccess—developinghabitsthatholdthembackand keep them from their own promotion, prosperity, and fulfillment in life because theyquenchthetruelifethatpoursoutfromtheirhearts.

They think discipline is the opposite of freedom—that ethics and morals are meant toinhibittheirpleasureandenjoymentratherthanenhancethem.Theyresistlettingotherstellthemwhattodoonlytobeplacedinbondagetolaziness,sensuality,oraddiction.Theyseekcomfortattheexpenseoftheirownachievementandgrowth.Theyseekrewardintryingtoobtainacertainlifestylewhilediminishingeverylifetheytouch.Theyendupinaprisonthatisoftheirownmaking,whetheritisfigurativeorliteral.Theylivealifethatsoundslikeanoldcountrysong:

Youloadsixteentons,whatdoyouget?AnotherdayolderanddeeperindebtSaintPeterdon’tyoucallme’causeIcan’tgoIowemysoultothecompanystore.—MerleTravis(“SixteenTons”)

Theharderyouwork,thefurtheryougetbehind.Littlecompromisesyoumakeeverydayareliketradinglittlebitsofyourselfaway,sellingyoursoulfornickelsanddimesuntilyoufeellikeyoudon’townyourownlifeanymore.Allyourhopesanddreamshavebeengiventosomeoneorsomethingelse—you’vesoldyoursoulforaflimsy“success”thatisofsignificantlylessvaluethanadvertised.

What’sgotyoulockedupinitsgrip?Whatiskeepingyoufrombeingthepersondeepdownyouknowyouaresupposedtobe?Areyoufree—reallyfree?Orareyoutrappedinsomethingyoufeelyoucanneverescape?Whatisityouhavetradedyoursoulfor?Andisthereawaytogetitback?Justwhatwouldyougivetogetbackyoursoul?

ThehumansoulisGod’streasury,outofwhichHecoinsunspeakableriches.—HenryWardBeecher

Christasksforahomeinyoursoul,wherehecanbeatrestwithyou,wherehecantalkeasily to you, where you and he, alone together, can laugh and be silent and bedelightedwithoneanother.—CaryllHouselander

PartOne

THEPOWERTHATWORKSINYOU

Wemustwalkintothearena,whateveritmaybe—anewrelationship,an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult familyconversation—with courage and the willingness to engage. Ratherthan sitting on the sidelines…we must dare to show up and letourselvesbeseen.—BreneBrown

NowtoHimwhoisabletodoexceedinglyabundantlyaboveallthatweaskorthink,accordingtothepowerthatworksinus (Ephesians3:20).

ChapterOne

GOD’SPLANA

ThenGodsaweverythingthatHehadmade,andindeeditwasverygood(Genesis1:31).

Inthebeginning,everythingGodmadewasgood.Thisincludedhumanity.Humankindexistedinarealmthatwasnotonlyabundant,butalsobalanced.Theenvironmentwasdesignedtoblossomandprosper—therewerenostorms,nodeserts,noearthquakes,ornaturaldisasters.Theworldwasalush,subtropicalparadise,evenatthenorthandsouthpoles.It’spossibleaswell that oceans were much smaller and there was much more land to live on.1 Whatextravagance!Avast,fertile,bountifulplanet;acornucopiaoffruitsandvegetablesgrowingwild,with livestock blanketing the hills, birds filling the air, trees ladenwith a plethora offruit,andfishpackedintothewaterways,lakes,andseas.Allofthis,droppedintothecenterofauniversesolargethatthelightfromitsedgeshasyettoreachusafter13.7billionyears—madeasthehomefortwopeople,AdamandEve,allsotheycouldshareitwiththeirfamily.Theskywastheirroof,thegrass,stapleddownwithrosesanddaffodilsbecametheircarpet.Organicwas not a brand, nutritional supplementswere not necessary, and Prozacwas nottheirsourceofpeace.

AftercreatingAdam,thefirstthingGoddidwastogivehimanassignment—tocarefortheGardenandnamealloftheanimals.WhatanincrediblemindAdammusthavehadtodothat!Heimagined,theorized,postulated,innovated,engineered,andcreated—allwithoutaformaleducation.Hewasbornwithdivinegenius.Godalsogavehumanbeingsemotions,justasHehadHimself,whichmeant they could empathize, desire, long for, build loyalties, trust, andhave soulish ties of affection and affinities. They could love, be loved, know, be known,worship,discern,andprefer.TheycouldconnectonalevelnootherofGod’screationcould.ItwasagiftuniqueinallofcreationthatGodgavetohumanity—allsoeachhumanbeingcouldhavea relationshipwithHim,witheachother, andwith their environment. It is this abilitythatallowseachofustoknowandbeknownbyGod,aswellastoknowandbeknownbyeachother. ItwasonlyafterAdamwassettled intohisresponsibilitiesandcreatedacomfortablelivingthatGoddecidedtogivehimawife.

“Every human is unique and individual, a divinemasterpiece, a specialpiece of God’s manifold imagination—a revelation of God’s majesty,

sovereignty,glory,ingenuity,andmystery.”TheabilitiesofthehumanbeingsGodcreatedweresecondonlytoGodHimself.Although

theangelsHe createdasHismessengers,warriors, and servantswereawesome,beautiful,andpowerful,humanbeingshadsomethingthatangelsdidnot:freewill—therighttochoosefor themselves whatever they did or didn’t do. God gave humans the ability to think forthemselves—tohaveideas,dreams,andimaginingsnootherbeingbesidesGodhadeverhadbefore.Divinecreativityisimprintedintohumanity’sDNAtosuchanextentthatfromthefirstformationofahuman,thelifeprocesshasmovedforwardinperpetualmotioneversince.Thisprocesshasgone throughmillenniawithout ever creating aduplicate.Eachandeverynewhumanisuniqueandindividual,adivinemasterpieceinandofhimorherself,aspecialpieceoftheoverallpuzzleofGod’smanifoldimagination—arevelationofGod’smajesty,sovereignty,glory,ingenuity,andmystery.

But this iswhat I findmost fascinating: the universes—physical, spiritual, andwhateverelseGodhasyettotellusabout—observethoseofuswhohavepledgedourselvestoGodtoseewhatHewillcomeupwithnext.No,youdidn’treadthatwrong.Theangelsandpowersandprincipalitiesofthemultiversedon’twatchGodtoseewhatHewilldonext,theywatch

us! (SeePsalm8:3-6.) They look to the people ofGod on the earth to see themultifacetedwisdomofGodrevealed!HowdoIknow?BecauseGodtoldusthroughApostlePaul:

SohereI[Paul]am,preachingandwritingaboutthingsthatarewayovermyhead,theinexhaustiblerichesandgenerosityofChrist.MytaskistobringoutintheopenandmakeplainwhatGod,whocreatedallthisinthefirstplace,hasbeendoinginsecretandbehindthescenesallalong.ThroughfollowersofJesuslikeyourselvesgatheredinchurches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about evenamongtheangels!(Ephesians3:8-10MSG)

Thismystery is revealed through individuals connectedwith Godwho connect with oneanother in the Church—what the Bible also calls “the Body of Christ.” In otherwords, themysteriesofGodareonlyrevealedingenuineconnection—ourconnectingwithGodandourcomingtogetherasChrist’sBodyontheearthtodoHiswill.ThisishowtheKingdomofGodismanifestormadereal.Thisisthepowerofintimacy.

THEPOWEROFINTIMACY

Whenamanandawomanphysicallyconnectthroughintercourse,thereisthepossibilityofnewlifebeingborn—anincrediblemiracle,butatthesametimethemostshallowofintimateconnections available to us as human beings. Conversely, when two souls connect, forexample,music,art,andmovementsareconceivedandthenborn.Whenmindsconnect—orideas connect in a mind—inventions and innovations are born. When spirits connect, thepossibilitiesareendless;imaginewhathappenswhenthespiritofapersonconnectswiththeSpiritofGod.Theimpossible,becomespossible.Suchapersonentersthezoneofunlimitedpotentialitiesandpossibilities(see1Cor.2:9-12).Likethedifferencebetweennuclearfission(division) and nuclear fusion (joining together), connection is always several times morepowerfulthandividingapart.

The Bible goes on to tell us that each of us was an incrediblemiracle of God from themomentwewereconceivedinourmother’swomb.Asthepsalmistwrote,

ForYouformedmyinwardparts;Youwovemeinmymother’swomb.IwillgivethankstoYou,forIamfearfullyandwonderfullymade;wonderfulareYourworks,Andmysoulknowsitverywell(Psalm139:13-14NASB).

Theword“wove” in thisScripture isakin to thewordcrocheted. In otherwords, as youwere being conceived in your mother’s womb, God directed the “crocheting” or “knitting”together of your mother and father’s DNA double helixes to release into the universesomethingthathadneverexistedbefore.TheYOUGodcreatedhasuniqueandspecialgiftstofulfillauniqueandspecialpurpose.Youhavedestinystitchedintotheverybuildingblocksofyourcells.Fearfullyandwonderfullymadeindeed!

“Thekeystounlockingallyouaresupposedtobeisintherelationshipsyoumakeinlife.”

OnceGod formedyou in thewomb,Hebreathed life into youandwith thatmadeyouareceptacleofauniquepartofthemysteries,wisdom,creativity,andingenuityHewantedtorevealintothemultiverse.Helockedthesethingsawaywithinyouinpieces,piecesthatcouldonlybeputtogetherorcompletedthroughconnectionwithothers.Thekeystounlockingallyouare supposed tobe is in the relationships youmake in life—first your relationshipwithGod,andthenyourrelationshipwithotherswhoareintunewithHim,fromintimatemarriagepartnerstoacquaintances.Somehavemajor,permanentrolesinourlives;otherswewilllearnfrom along the way, picking up truths we didn’t know before or the thoughts needed tocompletethe ideasGodhasbeendeveloping inus.Thesecould leadto inventions,worksofart,newhealing technologies,orbreakthroughs inanynumberof fields includingbusiness,medicine,socialjustice,personaldevelopment,orpolitics.Greatandwonderfulthingsaretobereleasedthroughourconnectionswitheachother!

We are wheels within wheels in design—systems meant to work within other systems,everythingfunctioningtogetherinhealthyandmutuallybeneficialrelationships.TheverycoreofourexistenceillustratesthistoaTee.

Thehumanbodyismadeupofbillionsofcellsinrelationshiptooneanother,andeachcellismadeupofmolecules,eachacollectionofatomsconnectedtogether.Healthyconnections

of atoms at the basest level are important for the overall health of the body. Unhealthyconnections lead to dysfunctions like cardiovascular disease and cancer. Atoms “need eachother”toformmolecules.This“neediness”isbuiltintotheirverystructure.Asyouprobablyrememberfromhighschoolchemistry,atomsaremadeupofprotons,neutrons,andelectronsworkingtogetherinanucleusandorbitingaroundthatcenter.Eachorbit—or“shell”—aroundthe nucleus has a “number of completion”: the innermost shell requires two electrons; thenext shell requireseightelectrons, and soon.Atoms rarely comewithcompleted shells, sothey look to find completion by combiningwith other atoms to formmolecules.One of themostbasicmolecularstructuresiscreatedwhentwohydrogenatomsconnectwithanoxygenatom to form H2O, more commonly known as water, a key ingredient for sustaining life.Another is when two oxygen atoms find each other to form O2, or an oxygen molecule,somethingnoneofuscanlivewithout.Lifeonearth,oranywhereelseintheuniverse,wouldbeimpossiblewithoutconnectionslikethese.

THECELLULARPARALLEL

However, this process is short-circuited and becomes unhealthy when, instead ofconnectingwith the atoms theyneed, atoms connect or interactwithwhat are called “freeradicals.”Freeradicalsaredysfunctionalatomsthatdon’thavetherightnumberofelectronsintheirshellsfortheatomtheyaresupposedtobe—theyareatomswithsomethingmissing;they have been corrupted in someway, shape, or form—andwhen they interactwith otheratoms, instead of staying connected to formmolecules, they “steal” completeness from theotheratoms,turningthemintocorruptedfreeradicalsaswell.Someofthishappensnormallyintheprocessofatomsinteractingwitheachotherandcanbehandledbythebody,butitcanbe an overwhelming problem when those free radicals reach a tipping point—as happenswhenthebodyisexposedtopollution,radiation,cigarettesmoke,orherbicides,forexample.

Theword“radical”should letyouknowthat theyareessentiallyaberrantandabnormal.Freeradicalsdeviatefromthenorm—theydon’tconnectwithotherswithoutdoingdamagetobothparties,andthustendtowardisolationandtheincubationofunhealthycharacteristics.Ifthishappensenough,itwillcausedisruptioninthecell.Whencellularcorruptionhappensintheliningofabloodvessel,itcausesarteriosclerosis,orhardeningofthearteries,whichcanleadtostrokesorheartattacks.Whenothercellsarecorruptedbyfreeradicals,theycanturncancerousandmetastasize,spreadingthroughoutthebodysofastthat,dependingonthetypeofcancer,apersoncoulddieinamatterofmonths.

To combat free radicals in our bodies, health experts tell us we need a steady dose ofantioxidants,whicharefoundprimarilyinfruitsandvegetables.Antioxidantshavetheabilityto “heal” free radicals by giving them electrons without becoming unstable free radicalsthemselves. Thus they have the ability to keep the body function healthy on every level byhealingthemostbasicofrelationshipswithinthebody.Whilewecantakesupplementstogiveourbodiesmassdosesofantioxidants—andthiscanbegood,likewhenyoutakeextravitaminC(apotentantioxidant)tofightoffanoncomingcold—researchersfinditisnotaseffectivetotakeoccasionallargedosesasitistoconsumefivetoeightservingsoffruitsandvegetablesthroughout the day every day, giving you a steady intake of antioxidants. It is nowwidelybelievedthatdoingsowillfightcancerandcardiovasculardisease—twoofthebiggestkillersinourworld—givingpeoplelonger,healthierlives.

FREERADICALSOFTHESOUL

Whyisallthisimportanttoourdiscussionofthesoul?Ibelievewhathappensinourbodieson the cellular level is a direct parallel towhat happens in the spirit on the soulular level.Again, these are systems of relationships within systems of relationships, wheels withinwheelsasEzekielsawinhisvisionsfromGod.2Eachofusiscreatedwithcertainneedsanddesires,talentsandgifts,dreamsandpurposesthatcannotbefulfilledinavacuum.Wedonotgrowintohealthyadultswithoutparentsandfamilies,andcommunitiesdonotfunctionwellwithoutthebasicbuildingblocksoffunctionalfamilies.Prosperingcommunitiesarethenthebedrockofprosperingtowns,cities,statesorprovinces,andnations.Wefind“completion”forcertain areas of our lives through connections with others. Some connections are moreintimate—withGod,marriage,family,anddeepfriendships;andothersaremoresuperficial—classmates,colleagues,teachers,students,pastors,mentors,andsoon.Therearepersonalityaspectswithinusthatneedinteractionwithotherstobehealthy—roughspotstoweardownordeficienciestobemadeup.Thereareideasthatweneedforsuccessinlifethatneedotherideas for completion. There is knowledge and wisdom that needs other knowledge andwisdom.There is insight thatneedsother insightandrevelationthatneedsotherrevelation

forwholeness.TheBibletellsus,“Forweknowinpartandweprophesyinpart.Butwhenthatwhich is perfect has come, then thatwhich is in partwill be done away” (1 Cor. 13:9-10).Completionbringsresolution,andsalvationandtransformation.Completion isnecessary forhealthy,prosperousliving.

Theproblemis,inlife—evenmorethaninsideofourbodies—therearefreeradicaltypesofindividuals, who we connect with (or who connect with us) and create dysfunctionalrelationships characterized by toxic exchanges of ideas, self-destructive habits, exploitiveallegiances, blinding selfishness, abusive guardianship, belittling opinions, codependentcompanionship,potential-squanderingamusements,suffocatingignorance,violence-inflamingideologies,cripplingemotions,traumaticallystressfulexperiences,andagain,thelistgoeson.Byconnectingandtyingourselvestothewrongthings—especiallydysfunctionalpeople—ourlivesandpurposesareput in jeopardy.Thegreatpartyouhave inrevealingGod’smanifoldwisdomtotheuniversecouldbefritteredawaylikepearlstossedintothemudbeforeswine.

SuchthingsmayaffectustothepointthatwearelikethepersonPauldescribedinRomans7andwebegintothink,“Iknowthatnothinggoodlivesinme”(Rom.7:18NLT).Weacceptthatweareworthless,weareundeservingofanythinggood,andweevenbegintoacceptthattheworldwouldbeabetterplacewithoutus.Thisisfarfromthetruth.Iamheretotellyouthatsuchthoughtsaretoxicfreeradicalsinyoursoul—theyareout-and-outlies.Ifyouacceptthem,theywillstealfromyouandleaveyouevenmoreincompletethanyouwerebefore.Theyare cancers of the mind, hardeners of your heart, assassins of your destiny. God neverintendedthemtobeinyourlife,butwhenweallowtheminthroughourchoicesormistakes,theywanttograbyourpotentialbythethroatandchokethelifeoutofit.

“By connecting and tying ourselves to the wrong things—especiallydysfunctionalpeople—ourlivesandpurposesareputinjeopardy.”

Thusweareinaninterestingdilemmathathappensdaybyday,hourbyhour,andmomentbymoment. Aswewalk through life,we constantly have choices before us. Every decisioncounts,eventhoughsomedecisionscountmorethanothers.From“DoIhaveaDanishwithmycoffeethismorning?”to“IsthisthepersonIamsupposedtomarry?”or“ShouldIlookforanotherjob?”wemakedecisions,formhabits,followpaths,andcreateourlifeonechoiceatatime.

ITISUPTOYOU

Thebadnewsisthatifyoudon’tlikethelifeyouarecurrentlyliving,youareresponsiblefor that. The good news is that if you don’t like the life you are currently living, you areresponsible for that too.No, Ididn’t leavesomethingout there,nordid Imakeamistake—whatIwantyoutounderstandisthatifyouareresponsibleforsomething,it’snotaboutguilt,it’saboutthefactthatyouhavetheabilitytochangethings.Onceyouacceptresponsibilityfor where you are today, you have the power to change everything. Everything in life isconnected toadecision. Ifonedecisiongotyouhere,youareonlyonedecision frombeingsomewhereelse.Nomatterhowbadyourpastorhowstuckyoufeel,thereisapathtolastingchange.ThereisawaytogetbacktowhatGodhasforyou.

YouseethereisnoplanBwithGod.HeisalwaystryingtogetyoubacktoHisbest—Hisoriginal plan A for your life. Choose His plan over yours for healthy living and healthyrelationships.Don’tsettleforlessthanthebestforyourlife.Makethedecisionnottoallowyour past to define your present and future.Refuse to allow temporary crises to become apermanentcondition.Yourdestiny is inextricablyconnected toyourdecisions. Ifyoudonotlikewhat is goingon in your life,make adecision to change it.Everything in theuniverserises and falls on your power of choice.WhenGod createdman, he createdman as a freemoralagent—adecision-makingbeing.Refusetoseeyourselfasavictimofcircumstance.Youhavethepowerto:

“When God created man, He created man as a free moral agent—adecision-making being. Refuse to see yourself as a victim of

circumstance.”

choosetodosomethingornottodosomething,choosetobesomethingornottobesomething,choosetobelieveornottobelieve,choosetoliveornottolive,choosewhatyoufocuson,choosewhoyoumarry,choosewhatyouaccomplish,choosewhereyoulive,choosewhoyoulivewith,choosethequalityofyourlife,choosewhatyouaddressandwhatyouignore,chooselifeordeath,chooseblessingorcursing,choosewhatyoubelievein,choosewhoyoubelievein,choosewhatorwhoyouworship,choosehowyourespondtopeopleorcircumstances,choosetoliveinsideoutoroutsidein,choosegoodorevil,choosehealthorsickness,choosetoconformortobeproactive,chooseyourfuture,andchooseyourdestiny.

Remember,whereyouaretodayisbasedonthesumtotalofdecisionsyoumadeyesterday.Iheardsomeonedescribeitthisway:thedayyouwerebornyouweregiventwoproverbialenvelopes. On the front of one was written “pleasure, faith, and prosperity”; on the otherenvelopewaswritten“pain,fear,anddisease.”Whenopened,eachcontainedthesameblankpageslabeled“destiny.”Yougettochoosewhichpagesyouwillwriteon.

God has given you the power of decision making, to change circumstances, to reversenegativehumanconditions.Wistfulandwishfulthinkingneverchangesanything.Youmustbethechangeyouwanttosee.Changeisnotjustaprocessoraprinciple,butaperson—JesusChristisouragentofchangewhogivesyouthepowertobedifferenttomorrowthanyouaretoday.

CREATEYOURDESTINYWITHADECISION

Asanindividualyoumustbeintentionalaboutthekindsofchangesyouwanttomakeinyour life, your home, your community, yourministry, your business, your government, yourschool,yourhealthcaresystem,andyournation.Youmustbe intentionalwhen itcomes toyourrelationships.Intentionalityispowerfulbecauseitrefusestobelimitedbywhatis.Whenyou are intentional, it refocuses you in such a way that you are more inclined to see thepossibilitiesthatlieaheadratherthantheobstaclesthatlaybehind—youareabletoidentifyandcapitalizeontheresourcestobringtopasswhatcouldbe.Itforcesyoutohavehopeinthefutureasyouleavethings,behaviors,habits,anddysfunctionalrelationshipsbehind.

Thisistheveryessenceofresiliency,theverylifestyleIwanttohelpyoudevelop.Resilientpeopledonotgetleftbehindastheyareleavingbehindthenegativitiesoftheirpast.Wegetstuckinourgrievingprocesswhenwehavetowalkawayfrommaladaptivesetsofbehaviorsandundermininghabits.Atthesametime,youmustresistthetemptationtofeelvictimized,becauseitwillstagnateyourgrowthanddevelopmentthroughitsseductivewooing.

Mygoalisnottohelpyougofromvictorytovalley,victorytovalley—likeayo-yooscillatingbetween highs and lows and ups and downs. Resiliency never allows a valley to become ahabit—although it is often the path of least resistance. Yes, we must acknowledge thechallengeswe are facing. It is foolish to ignore themor try to pretend our problems away.However,thekeyisnotovercomingsomethingonlytofallrightbackintothesameoldhabitor dysfunctional relationship shortly thereafter. To truly reclaim your soul, you must becommitted tobreaking thecycleand inauguratingawholenewwayof life.Thedecision tobreakthesedestructivecycleswillshapeyourlifeanddefineyourdestiny.

ThebookofRuthisdedicatedtothejourneyofayoungwidow.Ruthintentionallychosetomovebeyondhersituationandnotallowherpastorpresenttodefineherfuture.Ruthchosenottoallowhertemporarycrisestobecomeapermanentcondition.Shemadeadecision,andinsodoing,shechangedherdestiny.

Our destiny is connected to our decisions. If you do not like what is going on, make adecisiontochangeandtoshift.Theearth isadomaincharacterizedbydecisions.Refuseto

seeyourselfasavictimofcircumstance.Makeachoicetobesomethingbetter—avictorovercircumstances.

Thegreatestgift youcangiveyourself is thegift change.Don’tbeafraid.Face forward;moveon.Lot’swifewasdifferentfromRuth.Becauseshe lackedtheresiliencynecessarytoforgeahead,shecouldn’tresistlookingback,thusshenevermovedforwardagain—shewasturned into a pillar of salt.What thismeans is that she never got past her past ormovedbeyondherpresentstate(seeGen.19:26).Butyoucanmovebeyondyourpresentstate.Youdon’thave tobea victimof current conditions, surroundings, situations, orpositions.Poiseyourselfforsuccessbyelevatingyourmind.Youwillnevergowhereyouthoughtscan’ttakeyou.Likewise,whereveryourheadturns,yourbodyfollowssuit.Protectyourthoughtlife:

Letyoureyes lookstraightahead,andyoureyelids lookrightbeforeyou.Ponderthepathofyourfeet,andletallyourwaysbeestablished.Donotturntotherightortheleft;removeyourfootfromevil(Proverbs4:25-27).

MANKIND’SCOMPROMISE

Ashumanbeings,wehavefallenfromaplaceofdominion:thatplacewherewemanifestedourtruedivinenatureinGod.WhenAdamfell,hedidnotfallfromheaven.Hefellfromhisplaceofdominionovertheearth.ThisiswhythemessageoftheKingdomisimportant.Itisnot about getting you to heaven, but about bringing heaven to earth. Even Jesus’ prayeremphasizes this (see Matt. 6:10). The Kingdom of Heaven is a literal spiritual realm thatbelievershave theprivilege to live in,characterizedbyrighteousness,peace,and joy in theHoly Spirit (see Rom. 14:17). When Adam fell he lost the capacity to think like arepresentativeofGod.Thismeanthelost:

1. Psychological congruency: his values, ethics andmorals;motives, intentions, anddrives;perceptionbecamemisalignedwiththerealityofheaven.

2. Personalindividuality:hebecameenmeshedinadysfunctionalstate.

3. Uniqueness of his true identity: he was stripped of the knowledge of his trueidentityandauthenticself,losingtouchwithwhatitmeanstobelikeGod.

4. Intellectual and divine genius: consumption and dependency replaced productionandproblemsolving.

5. Spiritual bandwidth: facts and rationalization replaced faith and revelation. Jabezprayed,“enlargemyterritory”(1Chron.4:10)—inotherwords,expandmyspiritualbandwidthandtakethelimitsoffmythinking.

6. Relational/interpersonalhealth:thefirstthingthatwascompromisedafterthefallwashowAdamrelatedtoGod,tohisspouse,andtohisenvironment.

WhenAdamfell,hewassentencedtoarealmthatwasunnaturaltohisnature.HefellfromarealmofbeingonewithGodtobeingalienatedfromGod,fromlivingintheSpirittolivingcontrolledbyfivephysicalsenses,fromarealmof:

DominiontoDeceptionThrivingtoStrugglingFaithtoFactsRevelationtoEducationInspirationtoInformationCreativitytoConsumerismGod-consciousnesstoSelf-consciousnessEmpowermenttoBondageCooperationtoCompetitionKnowingtoDoubtTruthtoLiesLifetoDeath

After the fall, the trees, earth, moon, and animals continued to follow the assignmentsgiventotheminGenesischapter1—onlyhumanitychanged;onlyhumanslosttouchwiththeirnatural,God-givenassignments.WhenAdamfell:

Thelandlordbecametherenter

TheentrepreneurbecametheemployeeTheleaderbecamethefollowerThevictorbecamethevictimThebenefactorbecamethebeggarThelenderbecametheborrowerTheco-creatorbecametheconsumerTheproblem-solverbecametheproblemTheheadbecamethetailThefirstbecamethelastTheovercomerwassubduedThehunterbecamethehunted

GETTINGBACKONCOURSE

God’ssolutionforusisnotonlyspiritualsalvation,butalsoourreal-timerelationshipwiththeHolySpirit.IonceheardPeteGreigteachthattheSpiritofGodislikeoneofthoseGPSnavigational systems—wecould call it “God’sPositioningSystem.”TheHolySpirit, like ourmodern-dayGPSwhenyoutakeawrongturn,doesn’tthrowupitshandsandsay,“Well,nowyou’vedoneit!You’relost!ThereisnowayIcanhelpyounow!”No, insteaditsimplysays,“Recalculating…recalculating….” God considers where you are now—nomatter how far offcourseyouget—anddeterminesawaytogetyoutowhereyouwereoriginallysupposedtobe.Thatdoesn’tmeantherewon’tbesomebacktrackingortravelingthroughpartsoftownyouwouldprefertoavoid,butifyoufollowthatstillsmallvoiceofGodwithinyou,Hewillgetyoubackoncoursetoyourintendeddestination.Itwon’thappenovernight,butitwillhappenifyou walk with Him step by step. There might be some retraining involved—or some self-discipliningrequired—butastheBiblepromises:

Forthemomentalldisciplineseemspainfulratherthanpleasant,butlaterityieldsthepeaceful fruitof righteousness to thosewhohavebeen trainedby it (Hebrews12:11ESV).

Godhasbigplansforyou,andit istimetoputthepastbehindyouandliketheprodigalson,getonwithyourpersonaljourneybacktowardthatplacewithinyourheavenlyFather’sKingdom—thatplacewherepurposeisfulfilledandyouareabletobecomeanddoallthatyouwerecreatedfor.ItistimetolettheSpiritofGod“recalibrate”yourcourse.Butbeforeyoustartanyjourney,itisgoodtoknowtheterrainoverwhichyouwillbetraveling.Justaswhenyoustartanytrainingregime,ithelpstoknowthepurposeofeachexerciseandhoweachonerelates to the changes youwant tomake. For that,we need to dig a little deeper into thepersonGodcreatedyoutobeinordertoreachtowardtheoneHehopedyouwouldbecome!

Thesoulisplacedinthebodylikearoughdiamond;andmustbepolished,orthelusterofitwillneverappear.—DanielDefoe

Soul.Thewordreboundedtome,andIwondered,asIoftenhad,whatitwasexactly.People talked about it all the time, but did anybody actually know? Sometimes I’dpictured it likeapilot lightburning insideaperson—adropof fire fromthe invisibleinfernopeoplecalledGod.Orasquashysubstance,likeapieceofclayordentalmold,whichcollectedthesumofaperson’sexperiences—amillionindentationsofhappiness,desperation,fear,allthesmallpiercingsofbeautywe’veeverknown.—SueMonkKidd

ChapterTwo

YOUBYDIVINEDESIGN

ThenGod said, “Letusmakehumanbeings inour image, tobe likeus.Theywillreignoverthefishinthesea,thebirdsinthesky,thelivestock,allthewildanimalson the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground” (Genesis 1:26NLT).

GodcreatedhumanbeingstoreflectHisimageandlikeness,tohavedominionintheearthrealm—toreignoverourworldasHereignsover theheavensand theuniverses.AsGod isthree—Father, Son, andHoly Spirit, sowe are three in one—spirit, soul, and body.We seeoutlinedinFirstThessalonians5:23ESV:

NowmaytheGodofpeaceHimselfsanctifyyoucompletely,andmayyourwholespiritandsoulandbodybekeptblameless….

Thereareanumberofwaystolookatthis.Iliketothinkofitasthesoulbeingsandwichedbetweentworealms:aphysicalbodyononesidethatinteractswiththephysicalrealityofthenaturaluniverseandaspiritual“body”ontheothersidethatinteractswiththesupernatural,or spiritual, universe (see Diagram A). In referring to “supernatural,” we’re talking aboutsomething that supersedes the natural—that’s actually more real, if you will, becauseeverything seen in the natural world comes from the unseen world of the spirit. Only thethingsofthespiritareeternal:“Forthethingswhichareseenaretemporary,butthethingswhicharenotseenareeternal”(2Cor.4:18).

AnotherwayIliketoviewourmake-upisasaseriesofconcentriccircles,withthespiritasour innermostpartandourbodyas theouter layer (seeDiagramB).Though thisgives theillusionthattheinnerworldofthespiritisperceivedtobesmallerthantheouterworldofthebody,thisissimplynottrue.Itmightbebettertothinkofthesoullikeascientistthinksofawormholeinspacethatexistsbetweentwouniverses;onebeingthephysicalrealm,theotherthespiritual.Inphysics,thewormholeisthecommunicationconduitbetweenthetworealms,whilealsohavingapersonalityandtraitsorcharacteristicsofitsown.

The soul is made up of another three elements: mind, will, and emotions. These aresomewhatbrokenoutinthefirstofthegreatcommandments:

Youshall lovetheLordyourGodwithallyourheart,withallyoursoul,andwithallyourmind,andwithallyourstrength(Mark12:30).

InthisScripture,Ibelieve“heart”representsemotionsemanatingfromthesubconsciousmind(heartalsofrequentlyreferstothehumanspirit,however,sincethehumanspiritisthepartofusthroughwhichweconnecttothespiritualrealmandthustoGod,ourhumanspirits

willnaturally loveGod,which isnot thesamecasewithouremotions). Ibelieve“soul”and“mind”inthisScriptureeachrepresentthemselves.ThewordforsoulhereistheGreekword,

(psuche) fromwhichwegetthewordpsyche,referringtoourhumanconsciousnessorpersonality.Psychology,whichhaspsycheatitsroot,isthestudyofpersonalityandbehavior—youcouldcallitthestudyofthesoul.Themindcomprisestheinnerworldofourintellect,rationalanalysis,andourthoughtlife.While“strength”doesspeakofphysicalstrength,ourgreateststrength isnot inourmuscles,but inourchoices, thus I think italsorefers toourwillsandwhatyouwouldcall“willpower.”Becausethepowertochoosedecidesandcontrolseverythinginourlives,itcanbeviewedasourgreatestassetaswellaspotentialliability.ItiswithoursoulsthatwedecidetomovetowardGodorawayfromHim—tolovetheLordandotherpeople,ornotto—andthusfromthesoulflowsallthatleadstolife.

“Ourgreateststrengthisnotinourmuscles,butinourchoices.”THEDIFFERENCEBETWEENSOULANDSPIRIT

Itisdifficulttodividetheinnerworldofthesoulfromtheinnermostworldofthespirit—itissodifficult,infact,thatthe“wordofGod”istheonlythingthatcanpierce“tothedivisionof soul and of spirit…discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Heb. 4:12). Thereasonforthisisthattotheexteriorworld,thevoiceofthespiritsoundsjustlikethevoiceofourownmindsorconsciences.Weappeartohavean“outer”worldofthebodyandan“inner”oneofthesoulbecausethespiritandsoularesoeasilyconfusedasone.

However, the Word of God teaches differently, and through time and study in theScriptures,welearntodiscernthedifferencebetweenthevoiceofourownthoughtsandthevoiceofourconsciences—“thatstillsmallvoice”thatteachesusthedepthoftruthwefindintheBible.AsJesustoldus:“WhenHe,theSpiritoftruth,comes,Hewillguideyouintoallthetruth”(John16:13)and“theanointingwhichyouhavereceivedfromHimabidesinyou,andyoudonotneedthatanyoneteachyou”(1John2:27).Yousee,that“anointing”istheSpiritofGod—the Holy Spirit—living within our human spirits. When He speaks to our hearts, Hisvoiceisnoteasilydistinguishedfromourownthoughtsoremotions,soittakessomepracticetotellonefromtheother.ThemoretimewespendreadingtheBible,themorepracticewewill have in learning to understand the voice of the Holy Spirit compared to what we arethinkingandwonderinginourownminds.

Yousee,beforewearebornagain(seeJohn3:3),ourhumanspiritsaredisconnectedfromGodandthespiritualrealm.Somesayourspiritsaredeadatthatpoint,butIwouldsaytheyare more embryonic. Even those who are not born again have a sense of spiritual things,however,they’venotyetdevelopedtheabilitytodiscernintheirspiritsbetweenvoicesthataregoodorthosethatareevil.TheydevelopasenseofspiritualitythatiscorruptedbecauseitssourceisnottheonetrueGod.

Whenwebecomebornagain—or“bornoftheSpirit”asJesusputitinJohn3:6-7—itisasifourspiritsgo frombeingembryostonewbornbabes.Suddenly,ourspiritualsensesstart tofunctionoutsideof thewombwherebefore theyweredormant, andwe start to take in thespiritualworldinthesamewaywedidthephysicalworldwhenwewerefirstbornfromourmothers’wombs.

AWAKENYOURSPIRITUALSENSES

AsIhavediscussedinsomeofmyotherbooks,welearnedabitaboutthisprocesswhendoctorsfirstlearnedtodocataractsurgeryonpeoplewhohadbeenbornblind.Byremovingthecataracts—liketakingthelenscapoffofacamera—whatwasblacknessbeforesuddenlyrevealed the shapes and shadows of a three-dimensional world. Because these people hadgrownupwithoutdoingwhatsightedpeopledoasinfants—learntointerpretthethingsthatcome through our eyes to our brains as people, places, animals, or objects—these newlysightedpeopleonlysawwhattheyunderstoodtobebrightanddarksplotchesinamyriadofcolorsinaworldthatappearedasflatasapieceofpaper.Itwasconfusinganddisorienting.

As infants, in those first fewmonthsofdevelopment,weare learning torollover, situp,crawl, walk, and eventually speak, absorbing information thatwe have no ideawhat to dowith.Wefirstlearnthefacesofourcaregiversastheycradleusandrockustosleep.Duringthistime, itdoesn’tmattermuchthateverythingisconfusing,wedon’thaveanythingtodobutponderourworldandthevarioussensationsitoffers.

Thisprocess isdramaticallydifferent foradults learning tosee for the first time.Havinggrownupinaworldwithoutsight,theylearnedtogetalongwithoutit.Theylearnedtohear,

to speak, to get around, and to do everything other people did as best they couldwithoutbeingable to see.Newly introduced to sight, the sensationwasutterly confusing.The ideathat therewere faces connected to the voices theyheardwasamarvelousdiscovery.Colorwas a completely new concept to be understood. The idea of navigating around stationaryobjectsorthroughdoorwaysbysightinsteadoftouchwassodisorientingthatmanyrevertedtoclosingtheireyestomoveabout.Onemanpracticedlearningdepthperceptionbytakingashoe,tossingitoutonthefloorfromwherehesatonhisbed,andthenestimatinghowmanystepsheneededtotaketogettheshoebeforegettinguptoretrieveit.Often,itwasstilloutof reachafterhehad finishedpacingoff theestimateddistance.Oneyoungwomanwas sodisorientedbysightthatshefirmlyclosedhereyesandrefusedtoopenthemagain,muchtothechagrinofherparentswhohadhopedforsomuchfromtheoperation.

Ithinkwedothesamethingwithournewlyawakenedspiritualsenses.Asa“bornagain”newborn, it takes some time before the input from our spiritual senses can be readily andcorrectlyinterpretedinourminds.Asababylearnsbybeingintheworldandsensingit,soourspiritualsensesaretrainedandhonedthroughbeing“inthespirit”—thismeansinprayer,intheWord,inpraiseandworship,andinlisteningtogoodBibleteaching.

“Asababy learnsbybeing in theworldandsensing it, soour spiritualsensesaretrainedandhonedthroughbeing“inthespirit.””

Thisisnotacomfortableprocessforthoseofuswhowerebornintothephysicalworldandhavebeentrainedsolelybyitallofourlives(whichisallofus).Liketheyounggirlwhochosetoclosehereyes togetaround thehouse rather than face thediscomfortandconfusionoflearningtosee,manywhobecomeborn-againfollowersofJesuschoosetoliveonlybytheirnatural senses rather than learning tonavigateby their spiritual senses.We think for somereasonthatmakingmistakesininterpretingourspiritualsensingissomehowevil,thoughwewould never condemn a toddler for falling down as he or she is learning towalk.We fullyexpectatoddlerto“toddle.”Likewise,wewillcertainlymakemistakesinlearningto“walkbytheSpirit”(Gal.5:16),butasanyparentknows,thereisnowaytolearnbutbydoing.

WALKINGWITHTHESPIRIT

ManyofPaul’swritingsintheNewTestament,particularlyhisletterstotheGalatiansandRomans,wrestlewiththedualityoflivingbyournaturalsenses—followingsomekindofstrictmoralphilosophybaseduponlawsandrules—orfollowingthelivingspiritualguidanceofGodbybeingledofHisSpirit.NotonlydidPaultalkaboutwalkingbytheSpiritinGalatians5:16,butalsoaboutbeingledbytheSpirit (seeGal.5:18andRom.8:14)andlivingbytheSpirit(seeGal.5:25).Inanothertranslationwearetoldto“keepinstepwiththeSpirit”(Gal.5:25NIV).

Ofcourse,thisismuchmoreeasilysaidorwrittenaboutthandone.VeryfewChristians,inmy experience, havemastered the art of living according to the dictates of theHoly Spiritrather than their own sense of right and wrong or some systematic approach to “being aChristian.”EveryoneIknowstruggleswithhowbestto“livebytheSpirit,”includingmyself.Atthesametime,IcanconfidentlytellyouthatinmanyinstancesIamledbytheSpirit—andtheabilitytodiscernthosepromptingsisawonderful,powerfulthing.Itisthekeytosuccess,to livingoutyourdestiny,andtoknowingandexperiencingGod.Justbecauseyoufalldownalong theway,doesn’tmeanyouareon thewrong road. Iwould rather fall downamilliontimesonGod’sroadandgetupagaintokeepfollowing—sometimestoddling—afterHim,thanrunexpertlyalongonthewrongroad,cruisingsmoothlyintoalifevoidofpurposeandGod’spresence.

The ability to grab hold of heaven’s perspective of who we are—the fullness of ourauthenticselvescomprisedofourpersonalities,desires,emotions,intellect,andwill—allcomefrom our soul. Though our bodies are part of who we are and we are influenced by theirappetites,needs,sensations,perspective,andappearance,ourbodieswillonedaypassaway.Ifwearebornagain,ourspiritswillgrowandmaturethroughoutourlifetimesonearthandintoeternitywithGod,andIwouldn’tbesurprised—ifyoucouldseeyourspirit—that itwillappear in the eternal, spiritual realm much like your earthly body does in the temporal,physicalrealm.Itmightbe,ofcourse,thatourspiritualageisverydifferentfromourphysicalone—far too many Christians never spend enough time nurturing their spirits for them togrowuphealthyandstrong.Thewaywedothatistofocusoursoulsonthespiritualsideofusasmuchaswefocusedourmindsonthephysicalsideofusaswegrewupfrominfancy.

“When we come to Christ for renewal, we come with some serious

“soulish”problems.”Thedilemmaisthatwithourupbringinginaphysical, fallenworldfullofcorruptionand

trauma,wehave,toputitmildly,pickedupsomebadhabitsalongtheway.WhenwecometoChristforrenewal,wecomewithsomeserious“soulish”problems—tiestolimitingthingsinthesoulthatkeepusfromthepotentialofwhoweactuallyarebydivinedesign.These“soulties” can be from any number of things: physical or emotional addictions, situations ofoppression or exploitation, trauma from abuse or violent experiences, codependent ordysfunctional relationships, counter productive habits, ignorance, selfishness, cowardice oranyotherbehaviororattitudetheBiblereferstoas“worksoftheflesh”ratherthanthe“fruitof theSpirit” (Gal.5:19,22).These tieshinderusby filteringorblocking the fullnessof theSpiritfrombeingmanifestedinourlives.

Interestingly, negative influences and thought patterns have been proven to have astrongerandlongerlastingimpactonthemindthandopositivethoughtsandexperiences.Infact,frustration,conflict,andadversityarethreetimesmorepowerfulinaffectingaperson’sattitudethanarepositive feedbackandgoodfortune.Peoplearemore likelytorememberanegativeexperiencethantheyareapositiveone.Withafallenworldcameamentalbiasfornegativity.

REWIRINGYOURMIND

Ourbrainshavebecomeconditionedtointerprettheworld,ourcircumstances,andotherpeoplenegatively—topaymoreattentiontonegativeexperiencesthanpositiveones.Theyarewired toemphasize thenegativeasa self-protectivesurvival response—alwaysscanning forthreats aswasnecessaryduring less peaceful times in humanhistory. “Fortunately,”writesentrepreneurWalterChen,“wearen’tdoomedbyournaturaldispositiontowardnegativity—wehavetheabilitytobreakoutofthatnegativefeedbackloopandrewireourbrainstothinkpositively.”Daily,Godwantsyoutorenewthespiritofyourmind(seeEph.4:20-32).

This is the science of neuroplasticity—or the brain’s ability to change structurally.“Neurons,ornervecells, inyourbrainmakeconnections,communicatingthroughsynapses.Whenyoulearnsomething,youchangethoseneuralconnections.Everytimeyoureactivateacircuit, synaptic efficiency increases, and connections become more durable and easier toreactivate.”1

Chen explains that, “When we practice looking for and being more aware of positiveaspectsoflife,wefightoffthebrain’snaturaltendencytoscanforandspotthenegatives.Wecan harness the brain’s plasticity by training our brain to make positive patterns moreautomatic.”AuthorofTheHappinessAdvantage,ShawnAchor,concurs.“Wecanretrainthebrainto[look]forthegoodthingsinlife—tohelpusseemorepossibility,tofeelmoreenergy,andtosucceedathigherlevels.”

Success, therefore, is a frame of mind—an outcome of repeated thought patterns thatresult in how your brain makes connections. Rewiring your brain is what scientists andpsychotherapists have come to call neurosculpting. It iswhat Paul revealed to theRomanswhenhewrote,“Donotbeconformedto thisworld,butbetransformedbytherenewingofyourmind” (Rom. 12:2). Paul understood that the only way to counteract our proclivity tonegativity—tomovebeyondfear-basedbeliefsanddecisionmaking—wastorewirethemind.Bydoingso,onemight“provewhatisthatgoodandacceptableandperfectwillofGod.”IlikehowtheNewLifeVersiontranslatesthisverse:

Donotactlikethesinfulpeopleoftheworld.LetGodchangeyourlife.Firstofall,letHim give you a newmind. Then you will know what God wants you to do. And thethingsyoudowillbegoodandpleasingandperfect(Romans12:2).

Solet’slookagainatthefruitoftheSpiritinlightofitspotentialeffectsonyoursoul.Likeany fruit that provides powerful antioxidants that build your body’s immune system, so thefruit of theSpirit is a powerhouse ofdis-ease fighting nutrients undergirding the health ofyoursoul.Whenyoulookattheeffectsnegativeemotionshaveonnotonlyyourpsyche,butalsoyourphysiology,it’snowonderthatGodwouldinstructyoutofilluponampleservingsof“love,joy,peace,patience,kindness,goodness,faithfulness,gentleness,andself-control”(Gal.5:22).Aswe’vejustlearned,positiveattitudesandbehaviorsarethetoolsyouusetorewireyour brain. “The impact of practicing and retaining a more positive thinking pattern,”

concludesChen,“especiallyonourwell-beingandhappiness,[is]powerful.”Emotionaldisciplinesare importantbecause theydictatehowwe feelaboutwhoweare.

Theyarethebridgebetweenthemindandthebody.“Emotionsthathavebeensuppresseddonotjustdisappearintotheethers,”writesauthorJanetReed.“Theycollectinthebody.”

Whenemotionsoffear,anger,lack,orpainareheldinthebodytheyimpedetheabilityfortheaffectedorganstodotheirjobefficiently.Sciencenowknowsthatreceptorsitesoncellsforparticularpeptidesaredisruptedorclosedownaltogether.Sincethebodyis a network of interconnected physical expression, any organ system that has beencompromisedwillweakentheentiresystem,andreducementalclarity.2

Clarityofmindisessentialtoovercomingtheemotionalhabitsthatleadtodangeroussoulties and critical to the process of reclaiming your soul. Knowledge is indeed power. Yourabilitytorecognizeandtheninfluencethefunctioningofyourbrainthroughtheconscioususeof directed thoughts and experiences is the power of neuroplasticity. The latest researchindicatesthattheadultbrainnotonlyhastheabilitytorepairregionsdamagedbyemotionaltrauma,buttoalsogrownewneurons.“Inthenot-too-distantfuture,”writesReed,“wewillbeginhearingmoreabouttheeffectsofthemindonthemind,andthepowerofthemindtodirectandmasteritsownfate.”

The science of the mind and the physiology of the brain have come to the forefront inrecentyearsasweexplorewhywedowhatwedo.Yetthroughspiritualdiscernment,ApostlePaulunderstoodthedynamicsofneuroplasticity—thepowerofbelief,attitudes,andmindsets—asanessentialkeytoempoweringindividualstopresstowardtheirhighestcalling.AndasApostlePeterwrote, to“obtaining theoutcomeofyour faith, thesalvationofyoursouls” (1Pet.1:9ESV).

Hundreds of books have been written about the issues keeping us from fulfilling ourpotential or experiencing greater success—and many are indeed helpful; yet, until weunderstand the true causes of what is holding us back, we are putting a bandage overproblemswhoserootsliedeepwithinus—evenwithintheneuralstructuresofourbrains.

Understanding the power of our minds to redirect the course of our lives—combiningknowledgeofscientifictruthswithknowledgeoftheWordofTruth,foundedonourbeliefintheredemptionprovidedbythebloodofJesus—candeliverusfromanyemotionalstrongholdsand set us free to bewhowe really are.Wemust not be complacent.We cannot fulfill ourpurposeandmaximizeourpotentialasthesaltandlightoftheearthifwecontinueinouroldthought patterns and ways of interacting with the world and people around us. We mustcontinuetopursueunderstandingasweunveilthenatureofourhumandilemma.Foruntilwecanembraceandfullyownourdeeplyrootedperceptionsandbeliefs,wewillremaincaptivetoourownmisconceptions.

Education…istheleadingofhumansoulstowhatisbest,andmakingwhatisbestoutofthem;andthesetwoobjectsarealwaysattainabletogether,andbythesamemeans;the training which makes men happiest in themselves, also makes them mostserviceabletoothers.—JohnRuskin

ChapterThree

LONGINGFORBELONGING

Manisaknotintowhichrelationshipsaretied.—AntoinedeSaint-Exupéry

Oncetherealizationisacceptedthatevenbetweentheclosesthumanbeingsinfinitedistances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed inlovingthedistancebetweenthemwhichmakesitpossibleforeachtoseetheotherwholeagainstthesky.—RainerMariaRilke

Rightingourrelationshipsisaprimarygoalofthisbook.Ifwehaveunhealthysoultiesinourrelationships,weremainrestrainedfromlivingaresilientlife.Relationshipsareakeyfactorthat either propel us forward toward resiliency or hold us back from fulfilling our destiny.Thereisnosuchthingasahealthyrelationshipthatproducesstagnation.Ontheotherhand,wecancultivate tieswithpeoplewhopropelus intonewseasons,helpusembracegreaterlevels of success, offer strengths for our weaknesses, and partner with us in our vision tochangetheworld.Whetherwechangetheworld,changeourlives,orsimplycontinuelivinglifeaswealwayshave,thesoultiesformedthroughrelationshipsareessentialcontributorstowhichtypeofrealityweexperience.

Inthischapter,wearegoingtoexploretheconnectionbetweenrelationalattachmentsandthestateofoursouls.

Wecomeintotheworldwithadeficit—akindofholeinoursoulsthatcanonlybefilledaswerelatetoGodandtoeachotherinahealthyway.Thereissomethingthatweallneedfromthe very beginning, and all of us spend a lifetime trying to compensate for it through ourrelationships.Itisaneedthatcanonlybemetalittleatatime,adayatatime,forwecan’tgoverylongwithoutfeelingtheneedtoconnecttosomeoneelse.Thisiswhysocialmediahasbecomesosuccessful—peoplewanttofeelconnected.Itisaneedthat,unlessmetintherightways,candriveustotakedesperateactionandmakedestructivechoices.Whatisthisdivinedeficit?Itistheneedforacceptance,belonging,andgenuineconnectionwithothers.Itisthelongingforbelongingwithoutwhichweareincomplete.

“Relationships are a key factor that either propel us forward towardresiliencyorholdusbackfromfulfillingourdestiny.”

Whenweareinfants,wecryoutforit.Asweenterthetoddleryears,weruntowarditasfast as our little legs can carry us. Throughout our childhood and into our teen years wesearchitoutwhereverwegomakingfriends,findingmentors,andemulatingrolemodels.Aswereachadulthood,welookforsoulmatestopartnerwith—mostintimatelyinmarriage,butalso in business, society, and in pursuit of building a better world. We attach to politicalparties, community organizations, add our names to social causes, even become fans ofcertainsportsteamsorcelebritiesinordertofindaplacetofitinwithlike-mindedpeople.Welongtobelong,andthisdrivingforcecanleadustogreatthings.Infact,wecan’tfindtruesuccesswithoutit;butitcanalsoleadustodespair,heartache,anddefeatandwesometimesgo,asthesongsays,“lookingforloveinallthewrongplaces.”

In 2003, The Commission on Children at Risk issued a report they titledHardwired toConnect. Through their research, they put forward the following theory outlining the twobasicneedsofeveryhumansoul:

First,agreatdealofevidenceshowsthatwearehardwired forcloseattachments toother people, beginning with our mothers, fathers, and extended family, and thenmovingouttothebroadercommunity.

Second, a less definitive but still significant body of evidence suggests that we arehardwired formeaning,bornwithabuilt-incapacityanddrive tosearch forpurposeandreflectonlife’sultimateends.1

AnotherwaytolookatthisiswhenGodcreatedus,HebuiltintousasoulishcavitywhereHeHimself would fit into our lives.Many Christian teachers have called this “a God-sizedhole.”WewerecreatedsowewouldneverbecompletewithoutconnectingwithGod,andbyextension, we would then have dreams and aspirations so great that we could neveraccomplishthemonourown.

“This need to live for a purpose greater than simply meeting our ownbasicneedsanddesiresisstitchedintotheveryfabricofoursouls.”

Forexample,havingafamily,buildingabusiness,orchangingacommunityornationwillrarelyhappenbysomeonewholivesasahermit.Thisneedtoconnect inorderto liveforapurposegreaterthansimplymeetingourownbasicneedsanddesiresisstitchedintotheveryfabricofour souls.Weareverymuch like thoseatoms floatingaround in theuniverse thatrequire other atoms so that they can join together and create the building blocks of thecosmos.Themoleculesofeverythingthatweseeandthatallowlifetoexistaredependentontheseatomsfindingeachotherandjoiningtogether.Ourrelationshipsseemtohavethesamesignificance.

UNDERSTANDINGRELATIONALSOULTIES

So,whatexactlyisitaboutourrelationshipsthatensnaresandtiesupoursouls?Nootherdynamic in theuniversehas thepower to soutterly bindourminds thanour interpersonalrelations.Theworldwouldn’tbeaproblemtoliveinifitweren’tforotherpeople!However,itisalsoourconnectionwiththosepeoplethatmakesourlivesabundantandjoyful.

The fact is,yoursoul isanelectromagnetic life forcethat,as thetermimplies,createsamagnetic field of energy. Electromagnetism—or an electromagnetic field—is defined as “afundamental physical force that is responsible for interactionsbetweenchargedparticles.”2Electromagnetic energy is a powerful attractor—especially of other electromagnetic forces,suchasothersouls.Thisiswhyattachmentsbetweenpeoplecanbesoparticularlystrong.Inthecaseofmarriage,the“oneflesh”paradigmthatGodintendedisanincrediblypotentandbeautiful thing. Entering into a covenant agreement—“tying the knot” so to speak—is abiblicalmechanism for creating divinely ordained soulular connections. It is supernaturallyordainedandpowerfullyinfluential.

There are many examples in the Bible of these types of divinely inspired “soul ties”betweenpeople.Oneofthebest-knownexamplesofanhonorablesoultiewasbetweenDavidandJonathan:“ThesoulofJonathanwasknittothesoulofDavid,andJonathanlovedhimashisownsoul”(1Sam.18:1).Therearealsomanyexamplesofdishonorablesoulties,suchaswhattookplacebetweenDavidandBathshebawhenhe“tookher;andshecametohim,andhe lay with her” (2 Sam. 11:4). Adultery and fornication always result in powerfullydestructiveattachments.InDavid’scase,thingswentfrombadtoworsewhenafterhesleptwithBathsheba,hearrangedforherhusbandtobekilledinbattle.Theconsequencewasthelossoftheirinfantsonandongoingconflictwithinhisfamilyfortherestofhisdays.

The story of Ruth, on the other hand, provides a beautiful illustration of how a divinelyinspired connection is established. RuthwasNaomi’s daughter-in-lawwho refused to leavehersideevenafterthedeathofherhusband,Naomi’sson.RuthsaidtoNaomi,

Donoturgemetoleaveyouortoreturnfromfollowingyou.ForwhereyougoIwillgo,andwhere you lodge Iwill lodge.Yourpeople shall bemypeople, and yourGodmyGod.WhereyoudieIwilldie,andtherewillIbeburied.MaytheLorddosotomeandmorealsoifanythingbutdeathpartsmefromyou(Ruth1:16-17ESV).

GodblessedthecovenantRuthmadewithNaomibygivingherthedistinguishedhonorofbecomingthegreat-grandmotherofDavid—throughwhosedescendantscameJesus.

FromthispassageinRuth,weseethatasoultieisbothapsychologicalandanemotionalattachmentthatcreatesakindof interdependencybetweenonepersonandanotherperson,tribe,community,culture,orothersocialgroup.Theseattachmentsbind insuchawaythatthestrengths,weaknesses,habits,handicaps,iniquities,inadequacies,temptations,mindsets,beliefs,perceptions,persuasions,likes,dislikes,proclivities,propensities,etc.ofanindividual

or group affect the emotions, mindset, beliefs, perceptions, destiny, and so on of anotherindividual.Soultieskeepyouconnectedspiritually,intellectually,emotionally,psychologically,mentally,andsometimesevensocioeconomically.Soultiesempowerorexploit,emancipateordominate,enableorburden.Thisiswhyfamilyandculturaltiesaresopowerful.Thetiesyouhavewithyourchurchcommunityare,orshouldbe,asourceofempowermentoneverylevel,whilethetiesyouhavewiththeworld,ifyoulookclosely,aremostoftendisempoweringanddebilitating.Theworld isnot looking tobuild youup,but like theenemy, ispredisposed to“devouring”you!(SeeFirstPeter5:8.)

“Soul ties empower or exploit, emancipate or dominate, enable orburden.”

UNHOLYSOULTIES

ThisiswhyPaultoldthebelieversinCorinthnottobeunequallyattachedtopeoplewhodonotknowJesus.Heknewthepowerasoultiehasindeterminingthedirectionofalife.Yes,youhavethesavinggraceofGodatworkwithinyou,butyoursoulcanstillbeyokedtotheenslavinggripoftheworldifyoudon’tchoosetorejectthewaysoftheworldandfollowJesus“withallyourheart,withallyoursoul,withallyourmind,andwithallyourstrength”(Mark12:30).PaulwarnedtheCorinthians:

Don’t teamupwith thosewho are unbelievers.How can righteousness be a partnerwith wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there bebetweenChristandthedevil?Howcanabelieverbeapartnerwithanunbeliever?AndwhatunioncantherebebetweenGod’stempleandidols?(2Corinthians6:14-16NLT).

AndthenPaulbringsithomewiththisamazingtruth:

Forwe are the temple of the livingGod. AsGod said: “I will live in them andwalkamongthem.IwillbetheirGod,andtheywillbemypeople.Therefore,comeoutfrom among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’ttouchtheirfilthythings,andIwillwelcomeyou”(2Corinthians6:16-17NLT).

You—your soul—can’t house the living God and at the same time play host to evil. Thepeace of God cannot reign supreme in that environment. Where God is in His fullness,however,evilmustflee.

In several other translations of Second Corinthians 6:14, you will see this instructionwordedas“donot beunequally yoked.” This gives the perfect illustration of howa soulishconnectionworks.Ayokewasused to tie twoanimals together topull something—itwasacrossbarfittedtotheirnecksthatboundthemtogethersowhereveronewenttheotherwasforced to go alongside. The implication is that whenever relationships are formed, youmutuallytravelinthesamerealmsanddimensionsofsuccessorfailure,prosperityorpoverty,honorordegradation,peaceor conflict, strengthorweakness, righteousnessorperversion.It’s critically important to whom, or to what, you become yoked. When you are in closefellowship with unbelievers, you are yoking yourself to faithlessness, unbelief, mistrust,rebellion,separationfromGod,selfishness,andguilt.Whyisthat?Becausefellowshipmeanstocommunewith,agreeto,sharein,andinasense,becomeonewith.Wherevertheperson,organization,orcultureyou fellowshipwithmoves in theearthorspirit realm iswhereyouwillgoaswell.Whoeverisyokedwiththatentityultimately“travels”withitintoblessingorcursing,prosperityorlack,favororhardship,lifeordeath,orgainorloss.

Yokesoffellowshipcanmanifestinawholehostofwaysandonamultitudeoflevelswhichinclude, but are not limited to: physical, psychological, systemic, spiritual, emotional,interpersonal, intrapersonal, transpersonal, social, economic, intellectual, institutional,behavioral,neurological, familial,orprofessional.Unholysoulattachmentscreate instabilityin relations, finances, business, and friendships. They connect you soulishly and spiritually;frustrating purpose, undermining potential, and constricting you like a boa that cunninglywrapsitselfaroundyouandthensnuffsthelifeoutofyouwhenyouleastexpectit.

Unhealthyemotionaltiesnotonlydrainthelifeoutofyoupersonally,butarealsoadrainon the life of organizations, companies, and even communities. Dysfunctional relationshippatternsaffecttheprofitabilityofcorporationsandtheeffectivenessofinstitutions,including,mostespecially,nationalgovernments.Often, thesepatternsaretheresultof thestorieswe

repeatedlytellourselvesandcometobelieve,regardlessoftheirtruth.Inaculturalcontext,whetherinanorganizationoranation,thesestoriespredisposethecollectivemindtomakedecisions based on limiting perceptions and fear-based beliefs. In fact, the power of thecollectiveconsciouscanbesogreatthat itoverrides individualconscious.History isrepletewithexamplesofthedestructiveforceof“groupthink.”

RE-SCRIPTYOURSTORY

Fornow,suffice it to say thatwe,and thegroupsweassociatewith,areproductsof thescriptsandstorieswehavecome toacceptaboutwhoweare.AuthorofNewBeliefs,NewBrain,LisaWimberger,observes:“Wetellourselvesstorieseveryminuteofeveryday—storiesof who we are, who we’ve been, and who we should be. Those stories drift out from us,spreadingtheirseedstotakerootandcreateahistoryintowhichweanchor.”Furthermore,Wimbergerwrites,“Whenthemindtellsusastory,webelieveit.Butwhatifthestoryyou’retellingyourselfrightnowisthedrivingforcebehindyourpain,stress,andfear?Whatwouldyoudodifferently?”3Many stories play over and over in our subconsciousminds. They arerepressedsodeeplythatitrequiresanencounterwithGodHimselftoaccess,reveal,andhealtheseingrainedscripts.

Again,knowledge—self-knowledge—ispower.Wecan’tchangewhatwearenotawareof.We have the inherent power to re-script our stories—to re-script our relationships and ourlives.Ourbrainsdon’tcareifwhatwethinkorchoosetobelieveisrealornot;theyarewiredtorespondtothoughtsandimagesasiftheyarereal.We’veseentheeffectsofthestorieswerepeatandtheemotionstheyproduce inourphysiology—howmuchmorewillweseetheseeffectsinourrelationships?Iftheyshowupinourphysicalbodiesasdisordersanddisease,certainlytheywillmanifestasdisordersintheBodyofChrist.

Wimberger asks her readers to consider the following questions: “Howmany silent sub-storiesdoyoutellyourself,justunderthesurface,whichliterallyaltertheimagesyouseeandthe reality you perceive?…If the brainmakes up stories andwe claim those stories to betruth,thenwhynotconsciouslycreatenewstories—equallyplausible—torewriteourtruths?Itisourchoice.”

Godhasgivenyouthepowertochoose—andthepowertochange.HehasgivenyoupowertorewireyourmindwiththeTruthofHisWord.WhatdoesGodsayaboutwhoyouare?Whatdoes the Word say about your potential, your purpose, your identity, your circumstances?Thereisahigherorder,ahighertruth,ahigherrealitythanwhatyoursensesarepronetotellyourbrain,orwhatyourbrainispronetotellyoursenses.Notonlyareyouworkingagainstthe natural tendencies of your flesh in a corrupt and fallen world, but you also have anadversary“seekingwhomhemaydevour”(1Pet.5:8).

ForeverygoodgiftthatGodhascreated,theenemyhasaperversionmeantforevil.Thebrain’sabilitytomakenewconnectionsandcreatefreshneuralpathwaysisagift,butitcanalso work against you. Likewise, the connections and soul ties—we could call them“transneural pathways”—created between people and groups of people can be holy,nourishing,empowering,andbeautiful.Wehaveallexperiencedthejoyofsharingdeeplywithanother living soul. Yet, the intimate relationships, caring communion, authoritativeagreements,bindingcovenants,deepfellowship,andlastingbondsthatGodmeantforhumangoodandHisgloryhavebeenusedby theenemyas tools forenslavementanddestruction.Understandinghowtheenemydoesthis,thetypesoftiesheusestobindanddefileoursouls,andwhatwecandotobreakfreeareallthetoolsweneedtoovercomehisevildevices.Thisishowyouareableto“workoutyourownsalvationwithfearandtrembling”knowing“it isGodwhoworksinyoubothtowillandtodoforHisgoodpleasure”(Phil.2:12-13).

KnowledgeofGod’spoweratworkinyouwillsetyoufree.AsPaultoldtheRomans,“Whatwe’ve learned is this:Goddoesnot respond towhatwedo;we respond towhatGoddoes”(Rom. 3:27-28 MSG). The more we learn about what God is doing in the universe—theuniverse not only expanding aroundus, but alsowithin us—themore effectivelywewill beabletorespondit.

Dr. Vilayanur S. Ramachandran, called the “Marco Polo of neuroscience” made thefollowing observation: “There are 100 billion neurons in the adult human brain and eachneuron makes 1,000 to 10,000 contacts with other neurons in the brain. The number ofpermutationsandcombinationsofbrainactivityexceedsthenumberofelementaryparticlesin the universe.” Think about that formoment. Think of the possibilities—the potential—letalonethesheercreativepowerofthehumanimagination.

Whatmightseemmiraculousnow,willonedaybecome—likesomanyotherdiscoveries—common knowledge. Quantum physicists are currently studying new dimensions eachrepresenting new realms of infinite possibilities. Interestingly, each dimension is called a

“degreeoffreedom”madeupofnonphysical,yetmeasurable,wavesofenergythatinfluenceeverything andofwhich everything ismade.Subatomicparticles consisting of planewavescreate electromagnetic fields within which electrons oscillate back and forth in an endlessexchange,connectingandreconnecting—liketheneuralsynapseswithinourbrains—adanceofever-presentcurrentsmuchliketheinterchangesandexchangeswecontinuallyhavewithoneanother.Pureenergy.Energypatternswecaninfluenceasmuchastheyinfluenceus.

Thekeytoresiliencyisstewardingthisrelationalenergyforthehighergood.Itisamazingthe dualistic potential and possibility of discovery each exchange offers. Just as the manyexchangesinsciencepossesstheabilitytobothcreateordestroy,sotherelationalexchangesweengageindailyhavetheabilitytocontributetoourpersonalresiliencyaswellaskeepusensnaredinanendlesscycleofbondage.

Thereisaninternallandscape,ageographyofthesoul;wesearchforitsoutlinesinourlives.Thosewhoareluckyenoughtofindit,easelikewateroverastone,ontoitsfluidcontours,andarehome.—JosephineHart

ChapterFour

THEPOWERTOCHANGE

Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you fromgrowing.Yougettochoose.—WayneDyer

Andyoushallknowthetruth,andthetruthshallmakeyoufree(John8:32).

Life is characterized by change. Change is all around us. The world changes every threemonths—wecall itseasons.Change isa lawof life.Whetheryourealize itornot,change ishappeningallofthetime,andeachoneofusconsciously,orunconsciously,isaparticipant.

I have learned that it is not the strongest that survive, nor themost intelligent, but themost adaptable. The same is true for thriving, successful relationships—theymust adapt tochangingcircumstances,needs,andseasonsoflife.Somanypeopleseektocreatericherlivesand relationships, yet continuously do the same things over and over again—they simplyrefusetoadapt.Overcomingchallengingcircumstancesandresolvingconflictsrequiresyoutobeflexibleenoughtochange.

Incredibleasitmayseem,manypeopleneverevencontemplateenteringintotheprocessofchange.Suchindividualsprefertocontinuewiththeiroldlifestylesandhabitseveniftheyfeelmiserable,lonely,bored,inadequate,orabused.Theyaspiretolivecautiouslywithintheperceivedsafetyofestablishedpatternsandroutines.Although theydon’t feel fulfilled,andneverwill,theypursueaformulatheyhopewillprotectthemfromfailure—desperatelytryingto“makedo”or“makesomethingwork”;amarriagethatiswithering,adead-endjob,orevenanaddiction.

Theseindividuals,onadailybasis,puttheirformulaintopractice.Whentheygetupinthemorningtheyputontheappropriate“mask”fortheday,andthengoouttomergewiththeanonymousmassesthatarealsobusyputtingasimilarformulaintopractice.Everyonetheniscontentto“goalongwiththecrowd,”to“peopleplease,”andensurethatthe“boatisneverrocked”—maintaining the statusquo, for them,hasbecome theprimaryaim.Unfortunately,such persons not only lack the motivation to change, they lack the courage to change.Granted,mostpeoplearenotmotivated todowhat theyareafraidof—yet change requirescourage:

IttakescouragetobelievechangeispossibleIttakescouragetotrustone’sselftochangeIttakescouragetomovefromthefamiliartotheunfamiliarIttakescouragetoopenone’smindtonewpossibilitiesIttakescouragetocooperatewiththeprocessofchangeIttakescouragetofeelvulnerableduringtimesofchangeIttakescouragetoletgoofoldhabitsIttakescouragetofacenew,unforeseenchallengesIttakescouragetobethechangeonewantstosee

Could youmuster the courage to change if you knew it would lead to greater freedom,fulfillment,andjoy?Thegreatestgiftyoucangiveyourselfisthegiftofchange.Thegreatestskillyoucanacquireisthatoflearningtomanagechange.Couldthingsbethewaytheyarebecauseyouarethewayyouare?Whatonethingcanyouchangethatwillchangeeverything?Althoughyoucannotgobackinlifetorestartyourbeginning,youcanstarttodaytocreateanewending.How?Byharnessingthepowertochange.

PRACTICESTRETCHING

Change requires tremendous flexibility. It is our inflexibility that prohibits us frombenefitingfromtheongoingtransformationalprocessestakingplaceallaroundandwithinus.Yetthesearetheprocessesthatenableustogrow.Ifwearenotgrowing,wearestagnating.

Andweknownothinggoodcomesfromstagnation—infact,itcanleadtobothproverbialandliteraldeath,especiallywhenitcomestoourrelationships.

Changeandgrowthwillstretchus,andinthestretchingwebuildourcapacitytodoandbecomemore.Thiscanfeelriskybecauseitrequiresacertainvulnerability.Andyesittakescourage.Courage,however, isnota feeling.Courage is simplyadecision toendure feelingvulnerable. That vulnerability is required for you to livemore authentically—and is vital tostrengthening the health of your relationships. According to vulnerability expert, Dr. BreneBrown, “Vulnerability is the core, theheart, the center, ofmeaningful humanexperiences.”Brown links vulnerability towholeness and resiliency. In fact, shewrites in her best-sellingbook,DaringGreatly:

ThewillingnesstobevulnerableemergedasthesingleclearestvaluesharedbyallofthewomenandmenwhomIwoulddescribeaswholehearted.Theyattributeeverything—from their professional success to their marriages to their proudest parentingmoments—totheirabilitytobevulnerable.1

She adds that it is our vulnerability that “determines the depth of our courage and theclarity of our purpose”—and that “the level to which we protect ourselves from beingvulnerableisameasureofourfearanddisconnection.”2Ifyoucan’tmusterthecouragetobevulnerablewhencircumstancesdemandit,howcanyoudemandthesamefromothers?Stayconnected, stay engaged, stay in thegamebydeciding to endure feeling vulnerable. Itwillstretchyouandhelpyoupressthroughtogreaterresiliencyandwholenessineveryarea.

Managingchange issimplyembracingthatyoumustchange.Whenyouchange,youwillfindsodoesthesituation.AsMahatmaGandhisofamouslysaid,“Wemustbethechangewewishtosee.”Dr.ViktorFrankl,aholocaustsurvivor,echoedthisbystating,“Whenwearenolongerabletochangeasituation,wearechallengedtochangeourselves.”

Sowhatdoyouneedtodotochange?

ADDTOYOURFAITHKNOWLEDGE

Wereadagreatdeal about changeand transformation in theNewTestament.WhenweacceptChristasourLordandSaviorwebecomeanewcreation3—wearechangedfromglorytoglory4—transformedbytherenewingofourmind5.WearetoldinSecondPeterthatwecanchangeourverynaturebyaddingknowledgetoourfaith.Knowledgeisnotonlypower,butitisthepowertochange.Discernmentandinsightenableyoutomakeinternaladjustmentsthatallowyoutoalteryourcourse—toadapttodiversecircumstancesandpeople.

Thebestwayforyoutoprotectyourselfinanyareaoflifeisthroughknowledge—andtheproperapplicationofit,whichiswisdom.TheBiblesays,“Awisemanisstrongandisbetterthanastrongman,andamanofknowledge increasesandstrengthenshispower”6—italsosays,“Mypeoplearedestroyedforlackofknowledge.”7Themoreyouknowabouttheforcesworkingtodiminishthelifeofyoursoul—thesourceoftheabundantlifeJesuspaidforyoutohave—the more light you can shine on the specific ties and attachments keeping you inbondage.Themoreyouknowabouthowtheyareformed,thelesspowertheywillhaveoveryouandthemorepoweryouwillhavetoresistand,ifnecessary,breakthem.

Ourgoalistoempoweryoutoliveamoreresilientlife.Inordertodothis,itisimperativeforus to first identify theenemiesof resilience,whichcome in the formofdestructive soulattachments.Thekeyclarifierhereis“destructive.”

Aswe’vediscussed,notallsoulattachmentsarebad.Therearelegitimateconnectionsandrelationships that are divinely appointed, such as the ties between husbands and wives,parents and children, family and kinship groups, divine friendships, business partnerships,joint ministry ventures, community collaboratives, and institutional liaisons. These can bepersonallyempoweringandsociallyandspirituallyedifying.Butaswehaveseen, therearealsoillegitimatesoultiesthatcanbedestructiveandplummetapersonintocyclesofdefeatandfailure.Themostevilcomponentofasoultieisnothowitbinds,buthowitblinds.Whatwecanseewecantakeauthorityoverorworktochange.It’swhatwecan’tseethatkeepsusheld hostage and in bondages we don’t even realize we are trapped in. As novelist JamesArthurBaldwinobserved,“Noteverythingthat is facedcanbechanged,butnothingcanbechangeduntilitisfaced.”8

“Themost evil component of a soul tie is not how it binds, but how itblinds.”

FORCESOPPOSINGARESILIENTLIFE

Thereisawiderangeandvaryingdegreesofsoulties—andinnumerableavenuesthroughwhich they are created—but the principles and processes for how they are formed anddissolvedarefairlysimple.

Inshort,Jesusprovidedthegracetoliberateusfromanysoulishentanglement—“forwherethe Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”9 At the same time, our own negligence, sin, orignorancecankeepusreturningtothesametrapsofentanglement.This iswhyentrappingsoul ties are a direct assault to the resilient life. Resilience creates a lifestyle that iscompletelyoppositetowhatdestructivesoultiesworkinus.ThoughGodhasmadeprovisionfor us to experience freedom from these attachments, it is key that we discover how tomaintain this freedomas awayof life rather thanpursuing a lifelong series of trips to thealtar,continuallylayingdownandpickingupwhatGoddesiresustowalkinvictoryover.Keepinmind;Goddesiresavictorious,resilientlifetobeyournormal,nottheoccasionalexception.

Proverbs5:22notes,“Hisown iniquitiesentrap thewickedman,andhe iscaught in thecordsofhissin.”“Cordsofsin”bindustodoingwhatiswrongorfromdoingwhatweknowisright—theytieandtugatus,andcutusofffromtheresilientlifeofGod.ReadingthispassagefromTheMessagedriveshomethepoint:

MarkwellthatGODdoesn’tmissamoveyoumake;he’sawareofeverystepyoutake.Theshadowofyoursinwillovertakeyou;you’llfindyourselfstumblingalloveryourselfinthedark.Deathistherewardofanundisciplinedlife;yourfoolishdecisionstrapyouinadeadend(Proverbs5:21-23MSG).

Haveyoueverfeltasthoughyouarestumblingoveryourselfinthedark,gropingforthelight?Couldtherebesomethingspiritual—somethingyou’renotevenawareof—hoveringlikeadarkshadowoveryourlife?Or,althoughyoumaynotthinkofyourselfasbeingwickedoroutrightfoolish—maybeonlyalittleundisciplined—considerthatitisafoolishmanwhothinksthataslongashislittleindulgencesandhabitsdonothurtothers,hehasnoneedtoconcernhimself with eradicating them. Again, “What one thing can you change that would changeeverything?”

AREYOUFREE,ORAFREERADICAL?

Ifwegobacktothebiophysicalmetaphorweintroducedinthefirstchapter,oursoulularhealth functions in a similar manner as our cellular health. To our thoughts, intentions,emotions, and desires, sins are the free radicals of our soul, and the Word of God is theultimate antioxidant. Nutritionists tell us that we need six to eight servings of fruits andvegetableseveryday to get the antioxidantswe need to keep us healthy. If you told them,“Well,IeatabigmealoffruitandvegetableseverySunday;sometimesI’llhavetwoservingsonaSunday.ImayalsoaddaservingonWednesdaynight.”Theywouldsaythatisn’taveryhealthymealplan. In thesameway,onlybeingnourished fromtheWordofGodonSundayisn’tenoughtokeepyoufreeof“thesinwhichsoeasilyensnaresus.”10Thatisn’tabidingintheWordofGod.

LivingdailywithGod’sWordfeedingyourheartandmindistheonlywaytokeepthefreeradicalsofliesanddeception,thatcausetheworldsystemtobesotoxic,fromclingingtoyoursoul and corrupting your life. Praise andworship, prayer, andmeditatingon theScripturesblocksuchthingsfromadheringtoyourinnermostbeingandcausingahardnessofheartandaggressiveemotionalcancersfrommetastasizing.Ifyoufinditimportantenoughtotakeyourvitaminsonadailybasis,eathealthyfoods,exercise,andbrushyourteeth—howmuchmoreimportantisasmallthinglikeprayingandreadingyourBibleeveryday?It’stheonethingyoucandothatcanverywellchangeeverything!

Don’t underestimate “the little foxes that spoil the vines.”11 Those little sins, smalldeceptions,thatlittlebitofcomplacency,causesamildewofthemind,awastingawayofyourwill,andaputrefactionofyouremotions.Temptationsare like the free radicalsof thesoul.Whenyouconnectwiththemtheydefileyourhealthymolecules,andifthathappensenough,sinwillmetastasizeintoacancerorcausethehardnessthatleadstocardiovasculardiseaseofthe “inner man”—which gives a whole new meaning to heart disease. If not treatedimmediately,dis-easeofthesoulwillnotonlyderailyourpurposeandenjoymentoflife,itwillkillyou.

Weareapeopletowhomthewindowsofheavenhavebeenthrownopen—whythenwouldwewanttoreturntoalifestylethatdragsusthroughhell?WhenweacceptGod’sliberatinggrace,nothingarounduschanges,thechangecomesfromwithin—butonlyifweallowit.It

only if we rejoice in troubles rather than let them defeat us. Only when we resist selfishtemptationsandchooseinsteadtowalkinunselfishlove.Onlythencanwelivethetypeoflifewhere“wecan’t roundupenoughcontainers tohold everythingGodgenerouslypours intoourlivesthroughtheHolySpirit!”(Rom5:5MSG).Itistheshiftwemakeontheinsideofusthatwillchangeeverythingaroundus.

OVERCOMINGYOURHIDDENSINS

It’sall tooeasy topersuadeyourself thatyourhiddenvicesdonotsabotageanddepriveyoursoulofvirtuesorinsight.Virtuecanonlytakerootinyoursoulwhenyouaredivestedofyourproclivityforconvenienceandcomfort.Leftunchecked,sinwilldrawtoitselflike-mindedcharacterswhowill only reinforce your badhabits and shortcomings.Anddid you also notknowthecordsofotherwickedandfoolishpeoplecouldensnareyou?DavidwroteinPsalm140:5,

The proud have hidden a snare for me, and cords; They have spread a net by thewayside;Theyhavesettrapsforme.

He prayed God would preserve him from those who “purposed to make my stepsstumble.”12Healsoknewthatifhewereevertostumbleandbecomeensnared,hecouldlooktoGodtosethimfree.AshewroteinPsalm129:4(NLT),“ButtheLORDisgood;hehascutmefreefromtheropesoftheungodly.”

Nomatterhowdauntingitseemstoidentifyandunderstandallthewaysyoursoulcanbebound—fromwhatyou’vedoneinthedistantpastorwhatothersaredoingaroundyounow—ifyouaskGod,HewillgiveyouthediscernmentyouneedtoprayforthecorrectapplicationofHisbondage-breakinggrace.AswearetoldinIsaiah10:27:“Itshallcometopassinthatday that his burden will be taken away … and the yoke will be destroyed.”Whatever hasensnaredyouisnotgreaterthanGod’spowertosetyoufree.AsPaulwrotetotheColossians,“Staygroundedandsteadyinthatbondoftrust.”13

“Virtue can only take root in your soul when you are divested of yourproclivityforconvenienceandcomfort.”

Beencouraged.FaithinGod’sgracewillfreeyoufromwhatevercordsofsin,addiction,orunhealthy relationships you may now find yourself entangled. As it says in Romans 5:20,“Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.” Yet even if you feel unable to fullyembracethatgrace,youcanrestassuredknowingthat“Godisabletomakeallgraceaboundtoward you”14 and that it “is God who works in you both to will and to do for His goodpleasure.”15ThesetruthswillempoweryoutokeepyourmindanchoredandfixedonGodandbind you to His grace, freeing you from the corruption of sin. Fix yourmind’s eye on thegoodnessofGod.RememberthewordsofIsaiah:

Youwillkeephiminperfectpeace,whosemindisstayedonYou,becausehetrustsinYou(Isaiah26:3).

Two thingswill deliver you from the power soul ties can have over you: knowledge andfaith. Knowledge of how ungodly attachments form will enable you to effectively pray fordeliverance; faith in God will enable you to effectively activate the grace that providesdeliverance.Youmusthookyourheartupwithyourmouth.Prayingandspeakinginfaitharetwosidesofthesamecoin—themediumofexchangeintheKingdomofGod—thecoinyou’llneedtoexchangeforyourfreedom.

THEPOWEROFEXCHANGE

Everyactionresultsfromsomekindofanexchange—fromtheexchangeoftime,energy,orattention to the exchange of atoms, particles, or molecules. It’s simple physics. Newton’sThird Law comes to mind: “The Law of Action-Reaction.” Everything that exists is in aconstantstateofinteraction—influencingandbeinginfluencedbywhateverisaroundit.Iftherocksandmountainsbearthescarsoftimeandevents,thenhowmuchmoredooursouls?

Asliving,breathingbeings,ourbodiesmovethroughtimeandspaceinteractingwiththeatmosphereandexchangingoxygenforcarbondioxideasweinhaleandexhale.Inthesame

way,ourmindsinhaleinformationandexhaleignorance.WhenwereceiveChrist,ourspiritsinhaleredemptionandexhalecondemnation—weexchangedeathforlifeenablingoursoulstoexchangethebondageofsinforthefreedomofgrace.That’sthegreatestexchangeofall.

Every type of soul tie is also the result of an exchange.When you sin, for example, youexchange a righteous activity for an unrighteous one—or your right standingwith God forseparationfromGod.YouexchangewhatisofGodforwhatisoftheworld:“Thelustoftheflesh,thelustoftheeyes,andtheprideoflife.”16Youexchangeobediencefordisobedience,blessingforcursing.

Anexchangeisdefinedas:“Theactofgivingortakingonethinginreturnforanother;theactorprocessofsubstitutingonethingforanother.”17Ontheatomiclevel,itis“thetransferofparticles.”18 Soul ties are formed through extrinsic and intrinsic exchangeswith people,entities,andevenideas.Soultiesresultfromtheexchangeofenergyatthemostbasiclevel,fromwhatyoupayattentionto,investyourtimein,communicatewith,ordesire,towhatyougiveandreceiveintermsofmoney,gifts,services,acts,andsymbolicgestures.

Asoulattachmentcanbecreatedthroughanextrinsicexchange,whichrepresentshowyouare impactedbyyourenvironment, culture,andsociety—thingsoutsideofyou.Additionally,soul attachments canbe created through intrinsic exchanges,whichdealwithhowyouareimpactedbyyourownparadigms,experiences,corevalues,personalityorperceptions—thingsthatareinsideofyouorinsideofothersthatyouaredrawnto.

TWOPOWERFULEXCHANGES:YOURWORDSANDTHOUGHTS

Yourwordsandthoughtsarepowerfulmediumsofexchange—theyaresignificantcarriersofenergy,andinsomerespects,areyourmostvaluablenaturalresource.Theycarrylimitlesspotentialtocreateaswellasdestroy.AsProverbsstates,“Deathandlifeareinthepowerofthetongue.”19

Theconceptofexchangeismoreclearlyrevealedintheverseprevioustothispassage,“Aman’sstomachshallbesatisfiedfromthefruitofhismouth;fromtheproduceofhislipsheshallbefilled.”20Tosaythisanotherway,thewordsyouspeakresultinanexchange.AsGodsaidthroughtheprophetIsaiah,

SoshallMywordbethatgoesforthfromMymouth;ItshallnotreturntoMevoid,ButitshallaccomplishwhatIplease,And itshallprosper inthethingforwhichIsent it(Isaiah55:11).

Yourwords—especiallywhen theyareconductorsofGod’sWord—areapowerful formofcurrency. They provide a current through which creative energy is conducted—a currencyrecognized in every realm and dimension. Like any treasure or economic unit of exchange,whereyouinvestitiswhereyourheartwillbebound.21

Thisisthesoultieprincipleinanutshell.Whatyouinvestenergyiniswhatyoutieyoursoulto,bothpositivelyandnegatively.Ascurrentsofelectricitycreateelectromagneticfieldsconnecting positive or negative charges, your thoughts create similar fields. Your positivethoughts attract positive attachments, and your negative thoughts attract negativeattachments.Withinwhateveryoursoulcanconceivethereispotentialforattachment.Asamotherwillformattachmentstothelifeconceivedwithinher,soyoursoulformsattachmentstowhateveritthinks,feels,desires,orchooses.Theseedofathought,liketheseedofalife,when planted, will always result in an exchange of energy and therefore some kind of aconnection.Evenwhenabortedorstillborn,anexchangeofenergywillhavestilltakenplace.

“What you invest energy in iswhat you tie your soul to,bothpositively

andnegatively.”This is the premise that underlies the Law of Attractionmade so popular in recent pop

culture.Thisisnotasecularteaching,butabiblicalone.TheLawofAttractionteachesthatweattractintoourliveswhateverwefocusonsimplybecauseeverythingismadeofenergyandenergytendstoeitherbepositivelyornegativelycharged—“likeattractslike.”Theenergycreated by our thoughts andwords that we can’t see, either attracts or repels the energyproducedbywhatwecansee.22Itisrootedinthefindingsofquantumphysics,whichstatesthat all matter is vibrating energy; therefore nothing is unchangeable. Everything is rawenergythatrespondstothevibrationsofourthoughtsandwords.Thisshouldbenothingnew

to us because it is how God created the universe. As Hebrews 11:3 tells us, “By faithweunderstandthattheworldswereframedbythewordofGod,sothatthethingswhichareseenwerenotmadeofthingswhicharevisible.”

EXCHANGESTHATPRODUCEATTACHMENTS

Attractioncaneasilyturntoattachment.Soultiesresultfromspiritual,intellectual,social,emotional, financial, and physical exchanges between you and other individuals,organizations, institutions, ideologies, systems, and spiritual entities—or any type ofassociationoraffiliationyourspirit,mind,orbodymightenterinto.

Anexchangetakesplacethroughinvestmentsoftime,energy,focus,attention,andactionintheformofthoughts,deeds,orwords.Exchangescanbebothintentionalandunintentional.Sometimeswecanbecompletelyoblivioustowhatwe’veattachedoursouls—somethingmayhave takenhold inourmindbecausewe inadvertentlypaidattention to it for too long, likewatchingtoomuchtelevision.IbelievethisiswhyIsaiahstated,he“whostopshisearsfromhearingofbloodshed,andshutshiseyesfromseeingevil:Hewilldwellonhigh.”23

Youhavetobecarefulwhatyoupayattentionto—whatyouspendtimeandenergythinkingaboutandallowyourthoughtstodwellupon—becauseoneofthemostpowerfulandbindingthings you can invest are your thoughts. Your life will move in the direction of what youcontemplate. As it says in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for itdeterminesthecourseofyourlife.”TheMessagemakesitespeciallyclearthatyouneedtobecarefulabouteverythingyousay,see,andfocuson:

Keepvigilantwatchoveryourheart;that’swherelifestarts.Don’ttalkoutofbothsidesof yourmouth; avoid carelessbanter,white lies, andgossip.Keepyoureyes straightahead;ignoreallsideshowdistractions.Watchyourstep,andtheroadwillstretchoutsmoothbeforeyou.Lookneitherrightnorleft;leaveevilinthedust.

Whatconsumesyourthoughtsgivesyouagoodindicationofwhattiesupyoursoul.Thisiswhy family tiesare soextremelypowerful.Our familyexperiences shapeour livesonmanylevels—fromourDNAandgenealogytothevaluesandbeliefsweabsorbedgrowingup.Ourfamiliesinformhowwenavigateoursurroundings,whoweidentifywith,andhowweinteractwiththeworldaroundus—andeithernurtureorerodethehealthofoursoulsfromearlyon.Our family tieswill beamong themost influential, deeply rooted, and longest lasting—theyinfluencehowgenerationsofmembersthinkandchoosetolive.

Infact,ithasbeendocumentedthatboththequantityandqualityofrelationshipsachildhas growing up determines how prone that child will be as a teenager to engage in riskybehaviors. The Search Institute identifiedwhat they call “40Development Assets” that areproventopromotepositivebehaviorsandbuildresiliencyinyouth.Therearetwentyinternalandtwentyexternalassets—themoreassetsachildhas,themoreresilientheorshewillbe.Manyoftheassetsarebuiltaroundissuesofidentity,integrity,commitment,andcompassioninthecontextoffamily,community,peers,rolemodels,andmentors.

“Whatconsumesyourthoughtsgivesyouagood indicationofwhat ties

upyoursoul.”Inthenextsection,wewillbetakingacloserlookattheinternalandexternalexchanges

that can either empower or disempower us as well as the forty disciplines of a resilientperson.SonowwithaclearerunderstandingofwhoGodcreatedustobe, thepotentialwehaveasmultidimensionalbeingstoconnectwithheavenandwithoneanother,andthepowerofchoicewe’vebeengiventolivealifeofwholenessandabundance,let’sbegintoexaminethoserelationalhabits,behaviors,andbestpracticesthatwillkeepusfreeandvictorious.

In the fortydays ahead,wewill explore the actualmechanics of emotional attachments,how they are formed, and how you can avoid and/or sever them. The keys to breaking,avoiding,and living free fromtheseattachmentsaresummedup in the“40DisciplinesofaResilientPerson.”

Remember, God’s best for your soulular life is resilience. It’s time to end the cycle ofattachment–deliverance–freedom–attachment–deliverance–freedom.TheadultmembersoftheHebrewnationbroughtoutofcaptivitynevermadeittothePromisedLand,althoughitwastheirdestiny.ItwasnotbecauseGoddidnotwillitforthem,butbecausetheycouldnotshaketheirattachmenttoEgypt.Howcouldbondagelookbettertothemthanfreedom?24

TheproblemwasthattheIsraelitesofoldlivedinacyclicalstate.Eventhoughdeliveranceand freedom are positive, God-willed things, the Hebrew people experienced them onlyseasonally—notconsistently.YouandItoday,havingbeensetfree,tendto launchthewholecycle of bondage over and over—either dealing with a different attachment or the sameattachment repeatedly throughout our lifetime. In the samemanner that we should preferdivinehealthtodivinehealing,weneedtopreferaresilientlifestyletorepeateddeliverance.

Forthenextfortydays,wewill lookatverypracticalstepsyoucantaketoputyoursoulbackinthedriver’sseat.YouwilllearntoapplytheTruthofGod’sWordtoyourrelationshipsanddailyencounters—theWordofTruth that isable tosaveandrestore thehealthofyoursoul.25Theroadtogreaterresiliencyisaprocessoflearninghowtotakebackyourpersonalpowereachandeveryday.

Somuchoflifeishowwereacttowhatweexperience.Wecannotcontroleverythingthathappenstous,butwecancontrolourchoicesinresponse.Becauseweseevariousperspectives,wealsovisualizecreativesolutions.Youarenowmorepowerfulthanever.—Dr.KevinSnyder

PartTwo

THEROADTORESILIENCY:40DISCIPLINESOFARESILIENTPERSON

DowhatGodtellsyou.Walkinthepathsheshowsyou:Followthelife-mapabsolutely,keepaneyeoutforthesignposts,hiscourseforlifesetoutintherevelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do andwhereveryougo(1Kings2:1-4MSG).

Letuslayasideeveryweight,andthesinwhichsoeasilyensnaresus,andletusrunwithendurancetheracethatissetbeforeus(Hebrews12:1).

Forallgoodandevil,whetherinthebodyorinhumannature,originatesinthesoul,andoverflowsfromthence,asfromtheheadintotheeyes.—Plato

Emotionsarethecolorsofthesoul.—WilliamPaulYoung

YOURNEXTFORTYDAYS

I knowbut one freedom, and that is the freedomof themind.—Antoine deSaintExupery

Inthefortydaysahead,Iwanttotakeyouonatransformationaljourney.Thegoalofthefirstbookinthisseries,The40DaySoulFast,wastohelpyouunderstandyourauthenticselfandprovideatemplateforhowlifewouldlookfromthatperspective—thepositionoflivingalignedwiththetruestexpressionofyouruniquebeing.

Atitscore,The40DaySoulFastisajourneyofself-discovery—comingtogripswithwhoyou are and why you’re here. Understanding your identity is foundational to living anauthentic life. Now that you are familiar with the characteristics of an authentic person, Iwanttoempoweryouto liveoutofthat identityonabehavioral level.This iswherewearegoing in the next forty days, and the genesis behind Reclaim Your Soul: Your Journey toPersonal Empowerment. (For more personal empowerment tools, visit www.yourlifeempowerment.com.)

“I will be showing you day by day how you can create the resiliencynecessarytolivestrongandstaytruetoyouridentity.”

Over thecourseof thenexteightweeks,wewillbeaddressing thebehaviorsandhabitsessential to living true to your authentic self and developing a resilient lifestyle. I will beshowingyoudaybydayhowyoucancreatetheresiliencynecessaryto livestrongandstaytruetoyouridentity.Whatisthesecrettosustainingthehealthofyoursoul?Whatistheonethingyoucandoeverydaytomaintainfreedomfromunhealthyattachmentsandsoulties?Ithastodowithmindfulness.Ithastodowithself-awareness.Ithastodowithbeingintentionalanddeliberateregardinghowyouactandreacttopeopleandcircumstances.Inotherwords,ithastodowithdiscipline.

THEDELIGHTOFDISCIPLINE

The moment someone brings up the term “discipline” in a conversation, a shift inconcentrationoremotionoftentakesplace.Weeithertuneoutorwetenseup,expectingthatanymentionofdisciplineissynonymouswithconsiderablestrainandjoylessduty.

Fortoo long, theconceptofdisciplinehasmadeusunnecessarilydefensiveandproneto“push back.” Why? Perhaps we equate discipline with engaging in activities that areincompatible with our sense of normal, convenience, or comfort; we would rather sit andwatchtelevisionthangotothegym.Ourdisdainfordisciplineandpreferencetocatertoourfleshlyappetitesistheresultofafaultyunderstandingofdiscipline.

We would do well to embrace a significant paradigm shift here. Connecting with yourauthenticselfwillnotautomaticallytransformyourbehaviorandmakeyouaresilientpersonovernight.Simplyhavingaclearersenseofwhoyouaredoesnotmean the fruitofamoreauthentic lifestyle will spontaneously appear, as if knowledge by itself produces results.Informationisnotkinetic;itonlyholdsthepossibilityofcreatingvalue—ofpotentialenergy.Itistheactualpractice—ofconvertingthatknowledgeintoanactionablediscipline—thatmakesitkineticandthereforepowerful.Itistheprocessofsettingyourknowledgeintomotionthatcreatesaresilientlife.

“The process of setting your knowledge intomotion creates a resilientlife.”

This istheplacewherethetransformedsoulwillbeginto influenceyouractions,changeyour behaviors, and build an unshakable resiliency into your life. The authentic self thusemerges and begins its conquest over destructive behavioral patterns that have perhapsplaguedyouforyears,ifnotanentirelifetime.

The fortydisciplineswearegoing toaddress in theupcoming forty-day journeyareverypractical—they will position you to respond to life’s challenges with resiliency rather thanbeing reactionary. In the days to come, I encourage you to approachdiscipline fromanewperspective.I inviteyoutoviewthesefortydisciplesasfortytoolsfordevelopingaresilientlife.Theyarenot fortywaystomakeyour lifemoredifficult;onthecontrary, theyare fortybestpracticesthatwilltakeyouclosertoexperiencingthelifeyouhavealwayswanted.

“Wemustlearnhowtowalkinawholenewrealmoffreedom.”Thenexteightweekswillbedividedintotwoparts.Thefirstfourweeksspecificallytarget

thedifferentkindsofsoulishattachments thatneedtobebrokenandtypesofrelationshipsthatneedtobehealed.Wemustfirstconfrontthesick,hurting,andwoundedaspectsofourlivesifwetrulydesiretoexperiencetransformation.

Inthefinalfourweeks,wewillhighlightthekeyprinciplesandessentialpracticesofthosewho desire to live a more resilient life. It is not enough to simply break off harmfulattachmentsandseverdestructivesoulties—wemustlearnhowtowalkinawholenewrealmoffreedom.

Could itbe that the incredible lifeGodhas foryou is justontheothersideofpracticingthesefortysimpledisciplines?

DAILYSEGMENTS

AswithThe40DaySoulFast, the following eight-week studyhas been structured to bereadinfivedailysegmentseachweek.ThisgivesyoutheopportunitytoimplementaMondaythroughFridaypractice,withoutthechallengeofworkingyourdailystudyintotheoften“non-routine” joysof theweekend. It isalsomyhope that theSabbathremainsetapart to focusexclusivelyonworshipandfamily.

Withthatinmind,eachofthefivedaysoffersthecorrespondingDailyDisciplinethatwillhelppositionyouforgreaterresiliencyasitconcernseachday’stopic.

ThereflectionsegmentisyourdailyPowerPoint,intendedtoraiseyourawarenessofthedifferent patterns youwill be transforming in your life. Not all of the patterns youwill bestudying are negative in and of themselves. In fact, most of them have both healthy andunhealthy ramifications. Attachments, for example, becomedeadly soul ties and thwart ourresiliencywhentheyareexchangedincorrectly.Thisiswhydisciplineissoimportant.Wearenotsimplygoingtoidentifynegativeexchanges,attachments,andbehaviors,butIamgoingtoshowyouhowtheycanbegovernedforyourgreatestgood.

EachdayconcludeswithameditationorPowerThought—aquote,Scripturepassage,orstatementyoucancommittomemoryanduseasaspringboardorempowermenttoolthatwillhelpmoveyoutowardthetransformationyoudesire.

THEVISION

The following forty days describe relational behaviors that are common to every humanbeing.Whilethesearecommon,theyarenotbyanymeanscomprehensive;mygoalhereistosimply help you develop the necessary daily disciplines to effectively negotiate andmastersomerelationalbestpractices.Someareaswilldemandthatyoubreakapotentiallyunhealthysoultie.Perhapstherewillbeotherissuesyouhavenotdealtwithorevenencounteredyet.Myhopeisthatyourmindfulnessandapplicationofthesefortydailydisciplineswillkeepitthatway!

Whiletheeffectsofthesebehaviorshavebeentrulydevastatingtosomanythroughouttheages—perhapsevenyourself—Iwantyoutobecomesomeonewhoisnotonlyhealed,whole,andpersonallytransformed,butmyvisionistoseeacompanyofpeoplelivingauthenticandresilientlives,bringingtransformationtonations.

Soundlikeanenormoustask?Itreally isn’twhenweunderstandthatglobalandsocietaltransformation startswith you and I, eachmaking daily decisions that positively direct thecourse of our lives. The best thing you can do for the world around you is be the mostempoweredandresilient“you”possiblebyharnessingtheliberatingpowerofdiscipline!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline(2Timothy1:7NLT).

Letusthinkoflifeasaprocessofchoices,oneafteranother.Ateachpoint,thereisaprogression choice and a regression choice. There may be a movement towardsdefense,towardssafety,towardsbeingafraid;butoverontheotherside,thereisthegrowthchoice.Tomakeagrowthchoice,insteadofthefearchoice,adozentimesadayistomoveadozentimesadaytowardsself-actualization.—AbrahamMaslow

WeekOne

CONFRONTINGNATURALSOULTIES

Onceconform,oncedowhatothersdobecausetheydo it,andakindof lethargystealsoverallthefinersensesofthesoul.—MicheldeMontaigne

Do not be conformed to thisworld, but be transformed by the renewing of yourmind,thatyoumayprovewhatisthatgoodandacceptableandperfectwillofGod(Romans12:2).

Thefirsttwosetsofexchangeswearegoingtoexploreonourforty-dayjourneycanleadtoeithernaturaloremotionalsoulties.Tobreakthesetieseffectivelyandpressonwardtowardalifeofresiliency,itiskeythatweevaluatetherootandoriginofeach.

Naturalsoultiesaretheresultofextrinsicexchanges(forexamplegivingorreceivinggifts,money, services, symbols [suchas tattoos], orotherphysical acts)whileemotional soul tiesare formed by intrinsic exchanges (what you give attention to, set your intentions upon,associatewith,orwhoyoudesiretobelike).Bothtypesofexchangesrequireaninvestmentofphysical,mental,emotional,and/orspiritualenergy.

Overthenexttwoweeks,wewillprimarilyfocusonthesetwotypesofexchangesthatcanpotentially result innatural andemotional ties or attachments. This iswhat ourdisciplinedeffortswillinitiallybeaimedat,forthebehavioristransformedonlywhenwetargettherootcause.

Thefollowingareexamplesof thevarioustypesofattachmentsandthespheresthey fallinto.Althoughthemanywayssoulattachmentsareformedcanbedividedintothefollowingbroadcategories(withsomeoverlap),Ibelievethatunderstandingthenatureoftheexchange—whetherasaresultofaspecificactionorageneralassociation—canhelpusbetternavigatethekindsofexchangeswechoosetomake(orunmake):

Spiritual (religious, demonic/supernatural, dabbling in the dark arts, witchcraft,participationinsin)Intellectual(education,philosophies,ideologies,worldviews)Professional (business relationships, professional affiliations, memberships,associations)Social(culture,mediaandentertainment,friendships,associates,mentors,coaches)Emotional (romantic relationships, marriage and family, traumatic or euphoricexperiences)Physical(sexualencounters,deviantactivities,givingandreceivingofgifts,wearingoftattoosorsymbols)Institutional(marriage,family,education,church,government)

Theseprimaryclassificationsgiveanoverviewofsomeofthedifferingsourcesandforcesthathavethepotential tosnagyoursoulandweigh itdown.However, tobetterexplain themechanicsofhowsoul tiesare formed, Ihavedividedsomeof thechannels throughwhichattachmentsaremadeintothetwomaincategorieswetalkedabout:naturalandemotional.

Inthisfirstweek,Iwantustodealwiththenaturalsoultiesthataretheresultofextrinsicexchanges.Inthesecondweek,wewillcovertheemotionaltiesthatareproducedbyintrinsicexchanges.

For the five days ahead, I’ve identified some common types of extrinsic exchanges anddivided those into five areas involving words, objects, actions, attributes, and allegiances.Remember, the purpose of information is transformation. I want to inform you about thesedifferent areas so you can identify what needs to be transformed in your life and beginapplyingtheappropriatedisciplineineacharea.

In the words of John Maxwell, “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps yougrowing.”

“Thepurposeofinformationistransformation.”

Day1

WORDS

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs. —PearlStrachan

DISCIPLINE#1—USEYOURWORDSWISELY

Today,we’llbefocusingonthefirstexchangethatproducesnaturalsoultiesinourlives—somethingmost ofus take forgrantedordon’t thinkmuchabout.Whatwecommunicate—throughbothourspokenandwrittenword—isthemostcommonexchangeweengageinonadailybasis,andprobablythemostcriticaltothehealthofoursoul!

Thisiswhyitisvitalforustousewordsthatbuildandunite,notdestroy,divide,orcauseustoenterintodamagingagreements.

Let’sexplorethedifferentwaysweuseourwordsthatmightpotentiallyresultinasoultie.

SpokenWordsWhatyousayhaspower.1Whatcomesoutofyourmouthandhowyoubehaveaccordingto

it is one of the best tests of your character. Jesus made this clear when he made thecorrelationbetweenthewordsthatcomeoutofourmouthsandtheconditionofourhearts.“Agood person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil personproducesevil things from the treasuryofanevilheart.Whatyousay flows fromwhat is inyourheart”(Luke6:45NLT).Wordsarenotonlypowerfulbecauseofwhattheyproduceandcreate,butarepowerfulindicatorsofourtrue,authenticself.

Askyourself:AmIapersonwhocanbetrusted,oriswhatIsaydeterminedbywhoIamwith?Ismyspeechfrivolous,negative,condemning,fearful,self-absorbed,fickle,condemning,or is it uplifting, faithful and faith-filled, positive, full of grace, courageous, and edifying?Makecertainyourwords lineupwithScripture.Get ridof carnal conversations,negativity,grumbling,andcomplaining.Yourwordsactuallydoshapeyourfuture.Ihaveconcludedfromreading Numbers 14:27-34 that there is a 1:365 ratio. For every day you release negativewordsoutofyourmouthyoupotentiallytakeyourlifeintoayear’sworthofbondage.InthewordsofLaoTzu,“Watchyourthoughts;theybecomewords.Watchyourwords;theybecomeactions.Watch your actions; theybecomehabit.Watch yourhabits; theybecome character.Watchyourcharacter;itbecomesyourdestiny.”2

“Whatwecommunicateisthemostcommonexchangeweengageinona

dailybasis,andprobablythemostcriticaltothehealthofoursoul!”Vows

Verbalcontracts,orcovenants,canbothbuildupanderodethewell-beingofapersonorgroup of people. The wonderful covenant between David and Jonathan endured forgenerationsaftertheymadeavowtooneanother.

Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David.… Now Jonathan again causedDavidtovow…forhelovedhimashelovedhisownsoul.ThenJonathansaidtoDavid,“Goinpeace,sincewehavebothsworninthenameoftheLord,saying,‘MaytheLordbebetweenyouandme,andbetweenyourdescendantsandmydescendants,forever’”(1Samuel20:16-17,42).

Asa resultof that vow,whateverbelonged toDavidnowbelonged to Jonathan,andviceversa.Theyboundtheirstrengthsandresourcestogethersobothbecamestrongerasaresult.

Vowsarenotonlymadetootherpeople,butcanalsobemadeasinternalvowstoourown

selves. One of my coaching clients has given me permission to share a story I believebeautifullyillustratesthispoint.Sheobserved:

ThetimesthatIfeltthreatenedandbulliedinanygivensituationwereareflectionofhowIfeltsomanytimeswithmymother.MymomhasaveryassertivepersonalityandgrowingupIoftenfeltalotofanxietyandviewedmyselfasavictimofherpersonality.Asaresult,IhavesuppressedtheassertivepartofmeinprotesttowhatIexperiencedwithmymother.ImadeaninnervowthatIwouldneverbehavethatwaybecauseIfeltthat aspect of mymom’s personality was hurtful. I absolutely did not want to treatothersthatway.Inmakingthisinnervow,twothingshavehappened:

1. Isuppressedapartofmethatcouldhavepropelledmeforwardinawaythatthe less assertive part of me does not. I became a victim of many abusivesituationsthatassertivenesscouldhaveprevented.

2. I came to a place where I subconsciously judged others who had strongerpersonalities or actedmore aggressively. In judging others, I putmyself on apedestal.Thistypeofself-righteousnesskeptmyinnervowintact,preventedmefromseeingmyownissue,andheldbackmysuccess.

Weoftenthinkofthethingspeoplehavevowedtousastheonlyvowsthathavederailedour lives.Consider thevowsyouhavemade—toyourself: “I’ll never trustanyoneagain,” “Iwillneverforgivehim,”“WhenIgrowup,I’llneverletanyone…,”etc.Whatinnervowshaveyoumade?

AgreementsIn the book of Joshua, the people of Israelwere bound by an agreement thatwasn’t so

beneficial. Joshua was tricked by the inhabitants of a neighboring country to enter into acovenantofpeacewith them—hedidnotconsult theLord,butbasedon theirdeceptionhe“madepeacewiththem,andmadeacovenantwiththem,to let themlive” (Josh.9:15).Thepeople of Israel were forced to allow their enemy to dwell among them because of theirmislaidpromise.(GodhasoftenbeenforcedtodothesamethinginkeepingHispromisestohumanity.)

Wewill let them live, lestwrath be uponus because of the oathwhichwe swore tothem. Let them live, but let them be woodcutters and water carriers for all thecongregation,astherulershadpromisedthem(Joshua9:20-21).

In thenextchapterof Joshua, fivekingsconspiredtoattacktheGibeonitesbecausetheyhadmadepeacewithIsrael.Joshuaandhismenwereforcedtodefendthembecauseoftheirtreaty.

Later, when David was king and Saul came against the people of Gibeon, the LordremindedDavidofJoshua’scovenant:

NowtherewasafamineinthedaysofDavidforthreeyears,yearafteryear;andDavidinquiredoftheLord.AndtheLordanswered,“ItisbecauseofSaulandhisbloodthirstyhouse,becausehekilledtheGibeonites.”SothekingcalledtheGibeonitesandspoketothem.NowtheGibeoniteswerenotofthechildrenofIsrael,butoftheremnantoftheAmorites;thechildrenofIsraelhadswornprotectiontothem,butSaulhadsoughttokilltheminhiszealforthechildrenofIsraelandJudah.ThereforeDavidsaidtotheGibeonites,“WhatshallIdoforyou?AndwithwhatshallImakeatonement,thatyoumayblesstheinheritanceoftheLord?”(2Samuel21:1-3)

TherewasfamineinIsraelbecauseofabrokentreaty.KingDavidsoughttheLordandthebreachwasrevealedtohim.HeaskedtheGibeoniteswhathecoulddotomakeamends.TheGibeonites asked for seven sons of Saul’s descendants to be delivered to them for publicexecution.Davidagreed,butsparedthelifeofJonathan’ssonbecauseofthecovenanthehadmadewithhim.Covenantagreementsarepowerfulandenduring.Covenantsbetweenfamiliesandnationscreatetiesthatlastforgenerations.

PromisesThemarriagecovenant,orpromise,works inmuchthesameway.Whenyouenter intoa

marriagecontractwithanotherperson,youareincovenantwiththatperson’sentirefamily.Bothancestrieswillaffectyourchildrenandyourchildren’schildren.IlovethisquotebySirThomasMore,alsoknownasSaintThomasMore,whointheearlysixteenthcenturystated:

Marriageisanauthenticweavingtogetheroffamilies,oftwosoulswiththeirindividualfates and destinies, of time and eternity—everyday life married to the timelessmysteriesofthesoul.

Wewill talkmore about the “timelessmysteries” and the complexity of the ties createdwithin themarriage relationship later, but for now, think about the covenants, promises, orvowsyouhavemadewithothersandtheimpactthosemaybehavingonyourlife.ThinkaboutthecovenantyoumadewithChristandwhoyouarenowasaresult.HowhaveGod’spromisesaffectedyou?Howhaveyourpromisesaffectedyou?

POWERPOINT

Notonlydoyourwordsimpactthoseyousharethemwith,butyourwordshavetheabilityto create attachments and solidify harmful soul ties in your own life. This is why it is soimportantthatyouaremindfulofthewordsyoucommunicate.

Remember,yourwordsarepureenergyfilledwithpowertocreateordestroy.Wordsdon’tdisappearbecauseyouhaveforgottenthem.Themomentyouspeak,theybecomeapowerfulforceforgoodorevil.AlbertEinsteinconfirmedthiswhenhesaid,“Energycannotbecreatedordestroyed; itcanonlybechangedfromoneformtoanother.”LookatHebrews11:4,andtakenoteofhowpowerfulwordsare.

“Youwere created in the imageand likenessof aGodwhosewordsarepowerful.”

Youwere created in the image and likeness of a speakingGod—aGodwhosewords arepowerful.Oneofthefirstthingsyoucandotoreclaimyoursoulistousewordswisely—investthemincreating,building,andencouraging.Yourwordsnotonlymakeaworldofdifference,theyhavethepowertomakeadifferenceinthisworld.

POWERTHOUGHT

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessaryedification,thatitmayimpartgracetothehearers(Ephesians4:29).

Day2

OBJECTS

Givingagiftcanopendoors…(Proverbs18:16NLT).

DISCIPLINE#2—GIVEANDRECEIVECONSCIENTIOUSLY

The giving and receiving of gifts are symbols of covenant. They forge relationship andestablishallegiance.Thisiswhyitisessentialthatwegiveandreceivewithgreatcautionanddiscernment,astheallegianceswecreatecaneitherproducelifeorfosterbondagethroughdevelopingacanceroussoultie.

Today,wearegoingtoexplorethreedifferentexchangesthatalldealwiththeprocessofgivingandreceivingvariousformsofobjects.

GiftsWhentheQueenofShebawantedto forgeanalliancewithKingSolomon,shepresented

him with “one hundred and twenty talents of gold, spices in great quantity, and preciousstones”(1Kings10:10).ThewiseKingSolomonunderstoodthecovenantingpowerofgivingand receiving gifts. He gave an annual supply of wheat and oil to his servant Hiram inexchangeforhisloyalty.Asaresult,“therewaspeacebetweenHiramandSolomon,andthetwoofthemmadeatreatytogether”(1Kings5:12).

InthebookofDaniel,youwillreadthatthekingenteredintoleaguewithDanielbygivinghim gifts. It was after Daniel interpreted the king’s dream that King Nebuchadnezzar“promoted Daniel and gave him many great gifts; and he made him ruler over the wholeprovinceofBabylon”(Dan.2:48).

YouwillfindexamplesofthesignificanceofgivingandreceivinggiftsthroughouttheBible.Where a covenant is sought, giftswill be exchanged.God sought tomake a covenantwithhumanityandgave thegiftofHisSon,andthen inexchange forHisSonHegaveHisHolySpirit. In return, we “present [our] bodies a living sacrifice” (Rom. 12:1) and “offer upspiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 2:5). It’s an ongoingexchange.Godcontinuestogiveuseachspiritualgifts“differingaccordingtothegracethatisgiventous”(Rom.12:6).

“GodsoughttomakeacovenantwithhumanityandgavethegiftofHisSon,andtheninexchangeforHisSonHegaveHisHolySpirit.”

JesussaidthatifyouandIasparents“knowhowtogivegoodgiftstoyourchildren,howmuchmorewillyourFatherwhoisinheavengivegoodthingstothosewhoaskHim!”(Matt.7:11). Gifts not only create attachments, but also are how we continue to express thoseattachments.Iknowofmanypeoplewho,oncearelationshipdisintegrates,throwawayeverygiftgivenby thatperson. Ibelieve it isademonstration thatwhatever theyhad together is“over”onceandforall.

SymbolsIfpromisesandgiftshavethepowertocreateattachments,howmuchmoredosymbols?

Symbolsareakintotakingapromiseandmakingitvisible,suchasatattoooraring.Symbolsare gestures, vows, insignias, shared objects, a uniform, or something else endued withmeaning by those who share it. Symbols represent specific covenants between people—specificagreements.Whenaslavechosetoremainwithhismasterwhenhecouldotherwisegofree,hesignifiedhispromisetoservehimfortherestofhislifebypiercinghisear:“Hismastershallpiercehisearwithanawl;andheshallservehimforever”(Exod.21:6).

WhenPharaohmadeJosephhisrepresentative,he“tookhissignetringoffhishandandput

itonJoseph’shand;andheclothedhimingarmentsoffinelinenandputagoldchainaroundhisneck”(Gen.41:42).ThissignifiedtheauthorityPharaohgaveJosephtoruleoverEgyptashisPrimeMinster,answeringtonoonebutPharaohhimself.Whenringsareexchangedasasymbolof themarriagecovenant, theyrepresentnotonly theretainingof love,butalso therelinquishingofauthority—“Thewifegivesauthorityoverherbody toherhusband,and thehusbandgivesauthorityoverhisbodytohiswife”(1Cor.7:4NLT).

Symbolscanalsobethegivingofsignificantpersonalpossessions.WhenJonathanmadeacovenantwithDavid,“JonathansealedthepactbytakingoffhisrobeandgivingittoDavid,togetherwithhistunic,sword,bow,andbelt”(1Sam.18:4NLT).Inthepreviouschapter,SaulhadmadeapactwithDavidwhenhe“gaveDavidhisownarmor—abronzehelmetandacoatofmail”(1Sam.17:38NLT).

MoneyExchangedforGoodsandServicesThereisastoryinSecondKingsabouttheprophetElishawhorefusedtoreceivepayment

from a Syrian commander,Naaman,whenGod healed him of leprosy according to Elisha’sinstructions. Naaman urged him repeatedly to accept his gifts, but Elisha refused to takeanythingfromhim,soNaamanfinallyleft,takinghissilverandfinesuitsofclothingwithhim.However,Elisha’sservant,Gehazi,ranafterNaamanandlied,sayingtwootherprophetshadcome inneedof the silverandclothing.Naamangladlygave the silverand twochangesofclothestoGehazi.Afterhidingthesethings,GehazireturnedtoElisha,butlearnedyoucan’thideanythingfromGod:

Elishasaid tohim,“Wherehaveyoubeen,Gehazi?”Andhesaid,“Yourservantwentnowhere.” But he said to him, “Did notmy heart gowhen theman turned from hischariottomeetyou?Wasitatimetoacceptmoneyandgarments,oliveorchardsandvineyards,sheepandoxen,maleservantsandfemaleservants?ThereforetheleprosyofNaamanshallclingtoyouandtoyourdescendantsforever.”Sohewentoutfromhispresencealeper,likesnow(2Kings5:25-27ESV).

Themessagehereistwofold:NotonlydidtheleprosyofNaamanclingtoGehazibecausehereceivedthepayment,butElisharefusedtoreceivepaymentbecausehedidnotwanttobein league with Syria. I think thatmany of us are “leprous,” not in the physical sense, butspiritually. We have tarnished our name and have come to undermine our reputation andinfluencejustbecauseofassociation—receivingbribesorgifts—thatrequireoursoulsforlife.Peopleholdthingsoverus:“AfterallIhavedoneforyou…youoweme.”SometimesitisbesttosimplywaitontheLordandpressintoHiswisdomanddivinestrategyratherthantakingmoneyandgiftsfrompeople.

WereadinMatthewthatJudasenteredintocovenantwiththePhariseeswhenhereceivedpaymentfromthem.Then,indesperationtoredeemhimself,hetriedtoreturnthemoney.Butitwastoolate.HisgreedandsubsequentbetrayalofJesusopenedadoorthatledtoaplaceofnoreturn:

Judas…seeingthatHe[Jesus]hadbeencondemned,wasremorsefulandbroughtbackthe thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, “Ihave sinnedbybetrayinginnocentblood.”Andtheysaid,“Whatisthattous?Youseetoit!”Thenhethrew down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hangedhimself(Matthew27:3-5).

Indeed,whatdoesitprofitamantogainthewholeworldandlosehissoul?(SeeMatthew16:26.).Weseeherewhy the loveofmoneycausespeople toerrand lose theirway in life,ministry,andbusiness.PaulwarnsTimothy that,“the loveofmoney isarootofallkindsofevil,forwhichsomehavestrayedfromthefaithintheirgreediness,andpiercedthemselvesthroughwithmanysorrows”(1Tim.6:10).Theloveofmoneyisinitselfatypeofsoultie.Butworse,itistheloveofmoneythatlurespeopleawayfromobeyingGod,causingexposuretoall types of intensely ensnaring and vicious soul attachments. I don’t think there is amoredestructivecombinationthanexchangingsexformoney.Theactofprostitutioncausesdeepanddangerousattachments.Eveniftheexchangeisn’tformallycalledprostitution,someonewhois“takencareof”bysomeonewhohassexwiththembutwon’tmarrythemisformingadangeroustieinvolvingboththelustofthefleshandthelustofmoney.

“The love of money lures people away from obeying God, causingexposure to all types of intensely ensnaring and vicious soul

attachments.”

POWERPOINT

Remember,whatyougiveandreceivehastheabilitytoformanattachmentwithanotherperson.Thisiswhyitissoimportantthatyouareextremelyconscientiousofwhatcomesintoyourpossession,andwhatyouexchangewithsomeoneelse.Whiletheobjectsthemselvesarenot destructive, the underlying motivation or agenda in making the exchange is what isultimatelyresponsibleforcreatingthesoultie.

POWERTHOUGHT

Yougivebut littlewhenyougiveofyourpossessions. It iswhenyougiveofyourselfthatyoutrulygive.—KahlilGibran

Day3

ACTIONS

Throwoffyouroldsinfulnatureandyourformerwayoflife,whichiscorruptedbylust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes(Ephesians4:22-23NLT).

DISCIPLINE#3—PURSUEWHOLESOMEACTIVITIES

What we do often reveals who we are. Problems arise for those whose actions andidentitiesare instaunchdisagreement.Oneofthefundamentaldisciplinesforsomeonewhohas decided to break harmful soul attachments and live the resilient life is becomingextremely conscientious of the activities they are participating in. Are your actions alignedwith who you want to be? Socrates is quoted for having said, “The way to gain a goodreputationistoendeavortobewhoyoudesiretoappear.”That’scalled“integrity”—andit’soneoftheessentialkeystobuildingresiliency.

There are several different exchanges that result from our actions and activities, whichhavethepowertocreatestrong,destructivesoulties.Asyouwillsee,thesearethetypesoftiesthaterodetheintegrity,andthereforeresiliency,ofaperson’slife.

SexualEncountersThe Bible is very clear on the dangers of sex outside of marriage. Your body not only

becomesonewithanother,butsodoesyoursoul.Theactofsexisnotlimitedtoyourgenitals;itinvolvesyourentirebeing.To“know”anotherpersoninabiblicalsenseisto“becomeone”withthem—it is“theact”ofmarriage,“thetwoshallbecomeoneflesh;sothentheyarenolongertwo,butoneflesh”(Mark10:8).Itiswhentwopeopleintimatelyrevealthemselves—ormakethemselvesfullyknowntooneanother.Thisishowamarriageisconsummated—notbyanyceremonyorlegaldocument—butbyengagingintheactofsexualintercourse.

Becauseofthecovenantnatureofsex,it ismeanttostaywithinthecontextofmarriage.ThisiswhyPaulwrotetheCorinthians:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take themembersofChristandmakethemmembersofaprostitute?Never!Ordoyounotknowthathewhoisjoinedtoaprostitutebecomesonebodywithher?For,asitiswritten,“Thetwowillbecomeoneflesh.”(1Corinthians6:15-16ESV).

This oneness principle is a foundational truth and a profoundmystery—you become onewithsomeonewhenyouphysicallyengageinactsofintimacy.EvenasyouopenedyourheartuptoChrist,youbecameonewithHimaswearetoldinFirstCorinthians6:17,“Hewho isjoinedtotheLordisonespiritwithHim.”Soitiswhenyouopenyourselftoanother.BecauseyouareonewithChrist,yourbodyisthereforesacred—itis“thetempleoftheHolySpiritwhoisinyou”(1Cor.6:19).Thisiswhyitisespeciallyimportantto“fleesexualimmorality”(1Cor.6:18).Why?Because“thesexually immoralpersonsinsagainsthisownbody [andthereforeagainstChrist’sBody].Youarenotyourown,foryouwereboughtwithaprice.SoglorifyGodinyourbody”(1Cor.6:18,20ESV).Or,asTheMessageexplainsthispassage:

There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery asphysicalfact.AswritteninScripture,“Thetwobecomeone.”Thereisasenseinwhichsexualsinsaredifferentfromallothers.Insexualsinweviolatethesacrednessofourown bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for“becomingone”withanother.Ordidn’tyourealizethatyourbodyisasacredplace,theplaceoftheHolySpirit?Thephysicalpartofyouisnotsomepieceofpropertybelongingtothespiritualpartofyou.Godownsthewholeworks.SoletpeopleseeGodinandthroughyourbody(1Corinthians6:18-20MSG).

Whenyouengageinaphysical,sexualrelationshipwithanyone,youactuallyshareapiece

ofyoursoulwithhimorher,astheyshareapieceof theirswithyouaswell.Unfortunatelytoday,peoplearewalkingawayfromsexualexperienceswithmorethanjustasoultie.Theyarewalkingawaywithcommunicablediseasesthatareoftenincurable.

EuphoricExperiencesfromDeviantActivitiesEuphoric experiences result from an activity or experience that creates a kinesthetic

memory,longing,orfantasysuchasengaginginpornography,promiscuity,perversion,sexualorphysicalabuse,drugandalcoholabuse,demonic fascination,orsatanicworship.Deviantactivitieswill createexperiencesand feelings thatwill consumeyour thought life—theywilltakeoveryourmindandtieupyoursoul.

ThemenofSodomwereconsumedbysuchthoughts.Theycouldn’tthink“straight”—theirmindsweretwistedtothepointwheretheywerebangingdownLot’sdoorcallingout,“Wherearethemenwhocametoyoutonight?Bringthemouttousthatwemayknowthemcarnally”(Gen.19:5).Theywouldhavebrokendown thedoor if theangelshadn’t struck themblind.God’swrathwasabouttofalluponSodom,sowhileLotlingered,

“Deviant activities create experiences and feelings that consume yourthoughtlife,takeoveryourmind,andtieupyoursoul.”

The[angels]tookholdofhishand,hiswife’shand,andthehandsofhistwodaughters,theLordbeingmercifultohim,andtheybroughthimoutandsethimoutsidethecity.Buthiswifelookedbackbehindhim,andshebecameapillarofsalt(Genesis19:16,26).

Youmustnotallowyourmindtoevenpondersuchdeviantactivities.In Leviticus, God gave the Israelites very specific instruction about how to conduct

themselves:“DonotactlikethepeopleinEgypt,whereyouusedtolive,orlikethepeopleofCanaan,whereIamtakingyou.Youmustnotimitatetheirwayoflife”(Lev.18:3NLT).Thenthe next eighteen verses each list a sexual perversion to avoid. God follows these explicitinstructionswith the strict command, “Do not defile yourselves in any of theseways” (Lev.18:24NLT)andthenwiththewarning,

Whoever commits anyof thesedetestable sinswill be cut off from the communityofIsrael.Soobeymyinstructions,anddonotdefileyourselvesbycommittinganyofthesedetestablepractices thatwerecommittedby thepeoplewho lived in the landbeforeyou.IamtheLordyourGod(Leviticus18:29-30NLT).

Manybelieverssufferbecauseofthiskindofsoultie.Buttakeheart,Christhasredeemedyour life from the curse. In theOldTestament, peoplehad tobe removed (or executed!) inorder to remove sin from the community. Sinful people groupswere eliminated in order tokeep their influence away from the children of Israel.However, because ofwhat Jesus did,today we have the power to remove the sin—and its influence—not only from among thepeople, but also fromwithin the people. The blood of Jesus has made this possible on anindividualbasis.Yetalthoughtheageofgracehaschangedhowwedealwithsin, the issueremainsthesame—sinwillkeepusfromlivinginallGodhasforus!

MutualParticipationinSinSinisthefreeradicalthatjoinstothegoodthingsinoursoulsandcorruptsthem.When

youengageinaphysicalactoractivitythat is indirectdisobediencetoGod,youopenyoursoul toheartdis-ease and spiritual cancer. Jesus said, “This iswar, and there is no neutralground.Ifyou’renotonmyside,you’retheenemy;ifyou’renothelping,you’remakingthingsworse”(Luke11:23MSG).YoucaneitherservesinorserveGod,butnotboth.Whicheveryouchoosetoservewillruleoveryou.

“Sin is the free radical that joins to the good things in our souls andcorruptsthem.”

Paul told the church in Rome, “Do you not know that to whom you present yourselvesslavestoobey,youarethatone’sslaveswhomyouobey,whetherofsinleadingtodeath,orof

obedienceleadingtorighteousness?”(Rom.6:16).Thegoodnewsisthatyoucanchoose.Youcanchooseto“useyourwholebodyasaninstrumenttodowhatisrightforthegloryofGod.Sinisnolongeryourmaster”(Rom.6:13-14NLT).

However,whenyouchoosetoobeysin,andwhenyoudoitinleaguewithanotherperson,youcompoundtheattachment.Thisincludesbeinganaccomplice,suchaslyingonbehalfofanothertocoveruptheirsin,oranytypeofmutualdeception.Yoursoulisnotonlyensnaredby the sin, but also by the person with whom you engaged in the sin. It’s the power ofagreement working against you—the power of the sin to bind you becomes doubly strong.Separateyourself fromsin,and fromsinfulpeople—“Youmustnot imitate theirwayof life”(Lev.18:3NLT).

POWERPOINT

Remember,ChristandHisWorddefineyouridentity.Whenyoutrulyunderstandwhoyouare,thenyouwillrecognizethatcertainactionsandactivitiesarefarbelowthestandardGodhasassignedtoyourlife—considerthemunworthyofyourinvestment.

POWERTHOUGHT

Thepleasureofsinissoongone,butthestingremains.—ThomasWatson

Day4

ATTRIBUTES

Sinwilltakeyoufartherthanyouwanttogo,keepyoulongerthanyouwanttostay,andcostyoumorethanyouwanttopay.—Authorunknown

DISCIPLINE#4—KEEPYOURBODYHOLYANDSPIRITUALLYHEALTHY

Fortoolong,wehavedevaluedourbodies,notrecognizingthattheyarethetruewindowstooursouls.Whatcomesout,bydefinition,isarevelationofwhatisontheinside.Toconsiderthatthought,manyofuswouldsurelycringe,mindfulofthechasmbetweenwhowebelieveweareandwhatourbodiessayaboutwhoweare.Unfortunately,our“bodylanguage”isoftentheresultofharmfulsoulattachmentswehavemadebyhowweuseourbodies.

Itbearsrepeatingthatinformationdoesnotinherentlycontainthepowertotransform.Youmaybeinformedaboutyourtrue,authenticselfandthatisstepone.Butinordertobecomesomeonewhoisbothtransformed,andatransformer,youneedtomarrythatinformationwithdiscipline.We need to treat our bodies like Apostle Paul did: “I disciplinemy body like anathlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others Imyselfmightbedisqualified”(1Cor.9:27NLT).

Paulwasmindfuloftheconflictbetweenhistrueauthenticself,andtheselfthathewouldoccasionallyproject;asheoftendidtheverythingsthathedidnotwanttodo(seeRom.7:15).Eveninthisgreatapostle’slife,weseeglimpsesoftheconflictwearecontinuallyengagedintoday. You have an enemywhowants you to devalue and defame your body, for he iswellawareofwhatyoucarry—theHopeofGlory,Christinyou(seeCol.1:27).

Wemustdisciplineourselvestonotonlyprotectourbodies,buteverbemindfulthatourbodies donot actually belong to us, and in fact, they areportable sanctuaries for theHolySpirit.Paulremindsus,“OrdoyounotknowthatyourbodyisthetempleoftheHolySpiritwhoisinyou,whomyouhavefromGod,andyouarenotyourown?Foryouwereboughtataprice;thereforeglorifyGodinyourbodyandinyourspirit,whichareGod’s”(1Cor.6:19-20).

In view of this understanding, here are two physical exchanges we can make with ourbodiesthatcanproduceharmful,ifnotdeadlysoultiesandattachments.

TattooingandBodyPiercingTattoos and body piercings that are done to commemorate an event or signify a

commitment or association with someone or something create soul ties to those events,people,orthings.WealreadytalkedabouthowpiercingtheearwasasymbolofslaveryintheOldTestament.Piercingsandtattoosaresymbolsthatrepresentsoulattachments.Theyareindications that you have submitted your body, and therefore your life, to something otherthan God. They represent a form of worship. They defile your body. This could be why inLeviticusGodgavethefollowingcommand:“Youshallnotmakeanycuttingsinyourfleshforthedead,nortattooanymarksonyou:IamtheLord”(Lev.19:28).

And,yes,believeitornot,manypeoplegoontoregrettattooingtheirbodies.Afriendofminetattooedasentenceonherbodyandafterhearingthismessagerealizedwhy,aftermanyfailedattemptstomarry,shecouldnot.Hertattooread,“Outofyourreach.Can’ttouchthis.”Itwasavowshewashavingtroublebreaking!

DabblingintheDarkArtsAnotherwaywedevalueourbodies,andactuallyusethemastoolsfordemonicpurposes,

is through any engagement with the dark arts. This is strictly forbidden by Scripture, andinvolvesthespiritualprostitutionofabodythatwascreatedbyandforGod’spurpose.Whileyourbody’sphysicalhealthisimportant,itsspiritualhealthisbeyondcrucial.

Participatinginanytypeofwitchcraft,astrology,palmreading,occult,voodoo,andsoonisnotonly indirect rebellion toGod,butwill tie your soul tootherswhoparticipate in thosethingsandkeepyoutrappedindarkness.1

KingSaulhadasoul tie to thedarkarts,andhealso rebelledagainstGod.Theprophet

Samuelchastisedhimbysaying,“Rebellionisasthesinofwitchcraft,andstubbornnessisasiniquityandidolatry.BecauseyouhaverejectedthewordoftheLord,Healsohasrejectedyoufrombeingking”(1Sam.15:23).

Becauseofhisrebellionandlackofrealrepentance,SaulcouldnotdiscernthewilloftheLord.AfterSamueldied,hesoughtoutawitchwhocouldconductaséanceinordertobringSamuelbackfromthedeadtospeaktohim:“‘Whyhaveyoudisturbedmebycallingmeback?’SamuelaskedSaul.‘BecauseIamindeeptrouble,’Saulreplied.‘…Godhasleftmeandwon’treplybyprophetsordreams.SoIhavecalledforyoutotellmewhattodo’” (1Sam.28:15NLT).

Whenyouareinleaguewithevilspirits,youareindarkness,especiallyifyouthinkwhatyou’redoingwillgiveyouspecialinsightorknowledge,suchasdivinationorfortunetelling.AsMatthew6:23(NLT)tellsus,“Ifthelightyouthinkyouhaveisactuallydarkness,howdeepthatdarknessis!”

Youcannotseebyconferringwith thedark,because indoingsoyouareconferringwithlyingspirits.Thereisareasonit’scalledthekingdomofdarkness—becauseitwillkeepyoufrom seeing the truth! Rebellion—such as witchcraft—will keep your soul anchored indarkness.This iswhatPaulhadtosayabouttherebelliouspeopleof Israel,“Godhasgiventhem a spirit of stupor, eyes that they should not see and ears that they should not hear”(Rom.11:8).

“Rebellion—such as witchcraft—will keep your soul anchored in

darkness.”InthebookofActswereadaboutasorcerernamedSimon.Simoncametoabelievingfaith

inJesusChrist,buthissoulwasstillinthedark.WhenhesawpeoplereceivingthebaptismoftheHolySpiritthroughthelayingonofhands,heofferedPetermoneytoshowhimhowitwasdone.Hewanted to buy the power ofGod, probably because thatwas how he learned the“magic”hehadpracticedinthepast.Peter’sresponsewasnotameasuredone:

MayyourmoneybedestroyedwithyouforthinkingGod’sgiftcanbebought!Youcanhavenopart in this, foryourheart isnot rightwithGod.RepentofyourwickednessandpraytotheLord.Perhapshewillforgiveyourevilthoughts,forIcanseethatyouarefullofbitterjealousyandareheldcaptivebysin(Acts8:20-23NLT).

Simonwasstillheldcaptivebythesinofwitchcraft,andheneededtobedeliveredof it.OnlythencouldhefullyfollowtheGodhesodesiredtoknow.HeneededtobedeliveredofhowhehadlearnedtofunctioninthepastandembracethenewwaysoflivingfreeinChrist.

In Deuteronomy, Godmakes it clear that we are to completely separate ourselves fromthesetypesofstrategiesbecauseoftheirpowertoblindusandtieupoursoulsindarkness.

Donot letyourpeoplepractice fortune-telling,orusesorcery,or interpretomens,orengage inwitchcraft,orcastspells,or functionasmediumsorpsychics,orcall forththe spirits of the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord(Deuteronomy18:10-12NLT).

POWERPOINT

Aswemoveclosertolivingtheresilientlife,itisvitalthatwerecognizeWhoseweareandstartlivingaccordingly—namely,howwetreatourphysicalbodies.Ifwebegintolivelikeweare actually temples of the Holy Spirit, and God’s earthly residence is inside our mortalbodies,whatwedo toandwith thesebodies carriesdeep significance. In fact,whatwedowithourbodiesdetermineswhetherwewillbeenslavedinabindingsoulattachmentorbreakfreetolivingresiliently.Thechoiceisours.HowwillwestewardthebodyGodhasgivenus?

POWERTHOUGHT

DoyounotknowthatyourbodiesaretemplesoftheHolySpirit,whoisinyou,whomyou have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.

ThereforehonorGodwithyourbodies(1Corinthians6:19-20NIV).

Day5

ALLEGIANCES

Ifyouhavetrappedyourselfbyyouragreementandarecaughtbywhatyousaid—followmy advice and save yourself, for you have placed yourself at your friend’smercy(Proverbs6:2-3NLT).

DISCIPLINE#5—BEMINDFULOFYOURASSOCIATIONS

Ourassociationsdetermineourdestinies.Whoweenter intoanallegianceorassociationwitheitherleadsusintobindingsoulattachmentsorfreedomandresiliency.Thisiswhyitisso important for us to carefully scrutinize with whom or what we enter into any type ofrelationship, as such allegiances can quickly establish soul ties that directly link us towhateverthatindividualorgroupislinkedto.

OrganizationsMembershipinorganizationssuchasfraternities,sororities,lodges,theMasons,andsoon

willcreatesoultieswiththeothermembersofthatorganization.Membershipsorassociationswithclubs,cults,orungodlyorganizationswillcreatecripplingattachmentsthatwillholdyoubackiftheyarenotdeliberatelybroken.Thisiswhyitisabsolutelyessentialtobecarefuloftheallegiances youmake.Make sure youareearnestly seekingmembership in theBodyofChrist,andinHisBodyalone.

InRevelationwearewarnedto“watchasItakethosewhocallthemselvestruebelieversbutarenothingofthekind,pretenderswhosetruemembershipisintheclubofSatan—watchasIstripofftheirpretensions”(Rev.3:9MSG).

Don’tcompromiseyourmembership in theclubofChristbywhatmightbeanunwittingmembershipin“theclubofsatan.”

BusinessPartnershipsEntering into a business arrangement with someone, or acting as their guarantor, is

anotherwaythatsoulattachments—or“yokes”thatbindyoutoothers—areformed. It isanexchangethatcan involveagreementsandcontracts—orsimplytheborrowingor lendingofmoney—butisespeciallypowerfulbecauseofthemyriadofexchangesthatcomealongwithbeingconnectedinabusinessrelationship.

There isawholebodyofattachmentsyoubecome tied topreciselybecause that iswhatdefinesthenatureofabusiness.Inotherwords,ongoingexchangesarewhatbusinessesarecomprisedof—andif thatbusiness fails inanyoneof thoseexchanges, that failurebecomesyourfailure.AswearetoldinProverbs,“Don’tagreetoguaranteeanotherperson’sdebtorput up security for someone else. If you can’t pay it, even your bedwill be snatched fromunderyou”(Prov.22:26-27NLT).

Wewouldalsodowell toconsiderwhatwearetold inDeuteronomy22:10-11,“Youshallnotplowwithanoxandadonkeytogether.Youshallnotwearagarmentofdifferentsorts,such as wool and linen mixed together.” When you enter into a business arrangement, orbecomeaguarantor,makesureyouknownotonlywhomyouaredealingwith,butalsowhomthey are dealingwith. Toomany have gottenmixed up in illegal activities orwith criminalentitiesasanindirectresultofhavingenteredintoabusinessrelationship.Enronisaprimeexample. When that company crashed, so did the finances of every innocent stakeholder.Conversely,whenyouactasaguarantorforanyone,iftheyrenegeonloanpayments,thedebtispassedontoyou.

EmploymentRelationshipsThe types of exchanges that take place between an employer and employee can create

several kinds of attachments. There are verbal agreements that take place, there is anexchangeofmoneyintheformofwagesandcommissions,thereissubmissiontotheauthorityof another, as well as a “co-laboring” toward a common goal. When an individual or an

organizationemploysyou,youareboundtothemonseverallevels.Youcangetcaughtupinallsortsofungodlyagendas,unethicalarrangements,andevenillegalactivities.Again,lookatwhathappenedatEnron.Therewasn’tasingleemployeewhowasn’tnegativelyaffectedbywhat took place there. When you work for a corrupt employer, even in ignorance, thatcorruptionwill attach to you andwhat happens to them can potentially have an impact onyourlifeandfinancesbeyondyourwildestimagination.

InthebookofGenesis,wereadaboutJacobwholefthomeasayoungmantoworkforhisuncleLaban.LabanagreedtogiveJacobhisdaughterRachelafterhelaboredforsevenyears,but throughabit of trickeryhewasgivenLeah,Rachel’s older sister, instead.When Jacobconfronted him about it, he ended up having to work another seven years as a dowry forRachel. Laban was greedy and corrupt. Jacob had a hard time breaking free from hisarrangement, and even after he left, Laban hotly pursued him. Jacob was blessed to haveescapedwithoutviolencehavingbeendonetohimorhisfamily.

ButthereisanotherlessonwecanlearnfromJacob’sexperienceaswell.Labanhadagreedtoallow Jacob tohaveall of his spotted livestock,but that samedayhadall of the spottedlivestock removed from the flock. So Jacob was left tending a spotless flock—animals thatgenetically should have produced other spotless offspring. Jacob, however, understood thatwhatyougiveattentiontowillreplicateinyourlife.Wastingnotime,hecarvedstreaksintobranchesand“placedthesepeeledbranchesinthewateringtroughswheretheflockscametodrink, for thatwaswhere theymated.Andwhen theymated in front of thewhite-streakedbranches,theygavebirthtoyoungthatwerestreaked,speckled,andspotted”(Gen.30:38-39NLT).Heplacedthestreakybranches in frontof thestrongestof the flockanddidn’tplacetheminviewoftheweakerones.SothestrongerbecamespottedandgrewinnumberssothatJacobbecameverywealthy.

“You will eventually become like what or who you give most of yourattentionto.”

Youwill eventuallybecome likewhatorwhoyougivemost of yourattention to.Sinceamajorityofyourwakinghoursarespentonthe job,eitherworkingwithorforothers,makesurethatyouarefocusingyourattentiononwhatrepresentswhoyouultimatelywanttobe.

POWERPOINT

Weshouldnotenterintoallegianceswithpeopleorgroupsidly.AsIsaidatthebeginning,itisabsolutelypivotalforustoenterintoagreements,allegiances,andassociationswiththosewetrustintheBodyofChrist.

Thisisnotacalltobeinsulatedorisolatedfromtheworld,norisitalicensetodisengagefromtheverypeoplewearecalledto impact.However,when itcomestothemost intimatedealingsofyourlife—dealingwithemployment,finances,business,etc.—itisanecessitythatyoucarefullyweighyouroptionsbeforeenteringintoanassociation.Ifthepartnershipformsadangerousattachmentorsoultie,youbecomeintertwinedwiththedealings,involvements,and failures of the individual or organization you have developed an associationwith. Thisthwartsyourresilienceoneverylevelandkeepsyouenslavedtotheonewithwhomyouhaveenteredanallegiance.

Remember,it isimportanttomaintainasteadymindfulnessofthepeoplewithwhomyourelate.Suchmaywellmeanthedifferencebetweenalifeofforwardmomentumandblessingoralifeofhardshipandbondage.

POWERTHOUGHT

Becarefultheenvironmentyouchooseforitwillshapeyou;becarefulthefriendsyouchooseforyouwillbecomelikethem.—W.ClementStone

WeekTwo

CONFRONTINGEMOTIONALSOULTIES

A sensiblemanwill remember that the eyesmaybe confused in twoways—byachangefromlighttodarknessorfromdarknesstolight;andhewillrecognizethatthesamethinghappenstothesoul.—Plato

Peoplesittingouttheirlivesinthedarksawahugelight;sittinginthatdark,darkcountryofdeath,theywatchedthesuncomeup(Matthew4:15-16MSG).

Soul attachments are not only the result of our interactions in relation to the physical orexternal world around us; they also happen in relation to the emotional or internal world,consistingof the ideas,philosophies, focus, andother factors thatarea result of theworldwithinus.Theseattachmentsarecreatedbyintrinsicexchanges.

Thisweek,wewillreviewseveraloftheintrinsicexchangesthatweshouldbemindfulof.Eachofthepresentedexchangesisapotentialcatalysttodevelopingunhealthyemotionalsoulattachments in our lives, ultimately restraining us from stepping into theGod-willed life ofresiliency.

Theseexchangeswillbedividedupintofivedifferentcategoriesthatwillbeexploredonedayatatime.

Day6

THOUGHTS

Thesecretofyourfutureishiddeninyourdailyroutine.—MikeMurdock

DISCIPLINE#6—INVESTTIMEINCREATINGAHEALTHYTHOUGHTLIFE

Weusuallydon’tconnectourthoughtlifewithhowwestructureourtime.Buttheyareveryinterconnected.Howyoumanagetimeisadirectresultofhowyoumanageyourthoughts.Oryoucouldsay,howyouinvestyourthoughtswillresultinhowyouinvestyourtime.Thatsaid,youmustinvesttimeinmanagingyourthoughtlife!

Your thought life is the result of your thought time—howyou invest yourmental energythroughoutthecourseoftheday.Idon’tthinkweoftenconsiderourthoughtsintermsofaninvestmentoftime,buttherealityiswethinkacertainwaybecausewehavecommittedthecurrencyofourtimeintoaseriesofcertainthoughts,eitherhealthyordestructive.Thetimewegivetoentertainingthesethoughtsinvariablyshapesourthoughtlives,andthereforethecourseourlivestake.

“How you manage time is a direct result of how you manage yourthoughts.”

Yourthoughtlifeisdeterminedbyseveralexchanges,allresultingfromhowyouspendorinvestyourtime.Howyouinvestyourtimesetsthecourseforwhatyourmindwillspendmostofitstimethinkingabout;whatyoufocusonpaintsthecanvasofyourthoughtlife.

IfwearegoingtoreclaimoursoulsandlivetheresilientlivesGodhasmadeavailable,weneedtobeintentionalabouthowweusetime.Justasweenterintoallegiancesandcovenantswith thosewemake financial investmentswith—we can also form tieswhenwe invest themore precious currency of time. The following are some of the different exchanges to beawareofasyouseektodevelopahealthythoughtlife.

SpendingandInvestingTimeYounaturallyformabondwithwhomeverorwhateveryouspendagreatdealoftime,so

payattentiontowhatyoupayattentionto!Themoretimeyouinvestwithsomeone,themoreattentionyougivehimorher,themoreyouwillabsorbhisorhervaluesandviews.“Donotbesodeceivedandmisled!Evilcompanionships(communion,associations)corruptanddepravegoodmannersandmoralsandcharacter”(1Cor.15:33AMP).

Ben Stein is quoted as saying, “Genuine relationships are the fertile soil fromwhich alladvancement…all success…all achievement in real lifegrows.”How true.The less timeyouassociatewithsomepeople,themoreyourlifewillimprove.Anytimeyoutoleratemediocrityin others, it increases yourmediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is theirimpatiencewithnegativethinkingandnegativepeople.

“Friendswhodon’thelpyouclimbwillkeepyoucrawling.“Asyougrow,yourassociationswillchange.You’llfindthatfriendswhodon’thelpyouclimb

willkeepyoucrawling.“Yourfriendswillstretchyourvisionorchokeyourdream.Thosethatdon’t increaseyouwilleventuallydecreaseyou.Findfriendsthathavethecapacitytocarryyoutogreaterheights inallareasofyour life.”1Remember,youresemble thosewithwhomyouassemble!

ExtendedAssociationwithUn/Non-Believers

Becarefulaboutspending toomuch timewithpeoplewhodonotshare thesamevaluesandconvictions,orholdGodinthesameplaceyoudo.Nonbelieversareoftenanti-God,anti-Christ,worldly,orabsorbedingratifyingtheirsensuality.Theycantugatyoursoul,causeyoutoquestionyourfaith,andturnyourheartawayfromGod.Thisiswhyitissoessentialthatweassociatewithpeopleof“like-preciousfaith.”WeareurgedinHebrewsto“notneglectourmeetingtogether,assomepeopledo,butencourageoneanother”(Heb.10:25NLT).ThefirstversesofPsalmstellsus:

Blessedisthemanwhowalksnotinthecounseloftheungodly,norstandsinthepathofsinners,norsitsintheseatofthescornful;buthisdelightisinthelawoftheLord,andinHislawhemeditatesdayandnight(Psalm1:1-2).

Meanwhile,Proverbswarns:

Makenofriendshipwithanangryman,andwithafuriousmandonotgo,lestyoulearnhiswaysandsetasnareforyoursoul(Proverbs22:24-25).

In First Samuel, we read about Hannah and Peninnah. Every year when they went toworshipandsacrificeattheTabernacle,“PeninnahwouldtauntHannahandmakefunofherbecausetheLordhadkeptherfromhavingchildren.Yearafteryearitwasthesame….Eachtime,Hannahwouldbereducedtotearsandwouldnoteveneat”(1Sam.1:6-7NLT).Inherdespair,HannahwenttotheTempletopray.Shewassobesideherselfinprayer,Elithepriestthoughtshemustbedrunk.Hereprimandedher,butsheresponded,“Ihaven’tbeendrinkingwineoranythingstronger.ButIamverydiscouraged,andIwaspouringoutmyhearttotheLord.Don’t think I amawickedwoman!For I havebeenprayingout of great anguishandsorrow” (1 Sam. 1:15-16 NLT). Her association with Peninnah had bound her soul to thenegative words Peninnah had spoken over her. To break the tie it took a propheticproclamationbyEliwhoblessedher saying, “Go inpeace!May theGodof Israelgrant therequestyouhaveaskedofhim”(1Sam.1:17NLT).ThewriterofHebrewswarnedaboutthisvery thing:“Makesure there’snoevilunbelief lyingaroundthatwill tripyouupandthrowyouoffcourse,divertingyoufromthelivingGod”(Heb.3:12MSG).

LivingUndertheSameRoofWhenyoulivewithsomeone,thatpersonwilldeeplyaffectyouonlevelsyoumightnotbe

awareof—theycanaffecthowyouseeyourself, yourworld,andevenyourdestiny.LookathowSaraiwasaffectedbyHagarandviceversa.Afternotbeingabletobearchildren,Saraifinallygavehermaid,Hagar,toAbramtobearachildonherbehalf.Saraiwastaintedbythewaysoftheworldinthisdecision,andHagarwentwillingly.Then,whenSaraifeltdespisedbyHagar,shethrewherout.That’swhentheangeloftheLordfoundHagaralongtheroadsideinthewildernessandsaidtoher,“Returntoyourmistress,andsubmittoherauthority”(Gen.16:9NLT). He also told her, “I will give youmore descendants than you can count” (Gen.16:10NLT).BecauseHagarlivedunderthesameroofasSarai,shepartookofherdestinyasthemotherofmanynations.Thatisapositivescenario.Theoppositeholdstrueaswell,aswenowseethesetwonationscontinuallyembattledforthelegacyofAbraham.

MediaandEntertainmentInformationfeedsthesoul—it’s“soul food.”Whatyoufeastyoureyesuponwillattachto

you.Energy followsattention.Whatyougiveattentionto,andtherefore fillyourmindwith,willcertainlytieupyoursoul.

Mediaisseductive.Visualimagesdrawyoureyes—andmusicseducestheears.Bothsightandsoundarepowerfulattractorsandchannelsforovertorcovertmessagesthatcanfillyourheartandmindwithungodly thoughts, ideas,and imaginations.AsMatthew6:22-23states,“Thelampofthebodyistheeye.Ifthereforeyoureyeisgood,yourwholebodywillbefulloflight.Butifyoureyeisbad,yourwholebodywillbefullofdarkness.”

Movies,music,andbooksthatarehorror-orientedorsexuallyexplicit,aswellasclubsorshowsthatareprovocative,create inroads intoyoursoul.Dark,demonic,violent,sexual,orcrudeprogrammingcreatesinsidiousattachments.Inthisareainparticular,itissoimportanttoguardwhatyouputintoyourmindthroughwhatyouwatchandlistento.It isoneofthesignificantwaysyoucanguardyourheart,asProverbs4:23tellsustodo,“Keepyourheartwithalldiligence,foroutofitspringtheissuesoflife.”Johnsaiditthisway:

Donotlovetheworldorthethingsintheworld.Ifanyonelovestheworld,theloveoftheFatherisnotinhim.Forallthatisintheworld—thelustoftheflesh,thelustoftheeyes,andtheprideoflife—isnotoftheFatherbutisoftheworld(1John2:15-16).

Youwill tie your soul towhatever youadmireand let into yourhome—be it through thetelevision, video games, music, or the Internet. Even all those subtle forms of “socialnetworking”canopenyoursoultounhealthyattachments.Whateveryoufeastyoureyesuponhasthepowertodrawyouinandbindyoursoul!Thisalsoholdstrueforadvertisements.

AsIeditthisbookinLondon,Iamonaforty-dayconsecration.Today,Ileftmyhoteltogotochurch.Alongtheway,thereweresomanybillboardsandadvertsforfood,IalmostwantedtoaskmydrivertoturnthecararoundsoIcouldspendtherestofmyholidaylockedawayinmy hotel to avoid the seduction of these advertisements. I had no desire for any of thedelicacies I sawadvertised, but thepowerof suggestionwas indeedpowerful! The same istrueconcerningmediaandentertainment. It’sunsettlingwhatunholyandunnaturaldesiresvisualimagescanawakenintheviewingpublic.

“Whatever you feast your eyes upon has the power to draw you in and

bindyoursoul!”

POWERPOINT

Ourlackofintentionalityinguardingourthoughtlivesissatan’sgreatassignmenttosteal,kill,anddestroy.Hisgoalisnothinglessthantotaltakeover.Bytakingcontrolofourthoughts,hecaninfluencemindsets.Thesemindsetsshapeourattitudes,whichdetermineourbeliefs,andultimatelydecideourparadigms.

Howyouviewandinteractwitheverythinginlifeiscontingentuponhowyouinvestyour“thinktime.”

POWERTHOUGHT

Forashethinksinhisheart,soishe(Proverbs23:7).

Day7

MINDSETS

Theevilmindsetspreadtotheleadersandpriestsandfiltereddowntothepeople—itkickedoffanepidemicofevil…(2Chronicles36:14MSG).

DISCIPLINE#7—CAREFULLYEVALUATEALLTHOUGHTSTHATCOMEINTOYOURMIND

InthecontextofSecondChronicles36,wewitnessthedestructiveintrinsicexchangethattakes place between the leaders and the people. Through the power of association, evilmindsets spread likeanepidemic from those inauthority to thoseunderauthority. Inotherwords,keepingsocietywiththosewhoentertainevilintheirmindsislikeaexposingyourselftoacontagiousvirus.

Today, we will examine some of the intrinsic, emotional-level exchanges that produceharmfulsoulties.

“Associatingwiththosewhoareevil-mindedislikeaexposingyourselftoacontagiousvirus.”

FormerCoveringsandAffiliationsSometimestherearethingsthatkeepusemotionally,spiritually,andpsychologicallytiedto

anoldseasonorwayofconductingourspiritualaffairs.InthebookofActs,wereadaboutagroupofitinerantJewishexorcistswho“tookituponthemselvestocallthenameoftheLordJesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, ‘We exorcise you by the Jesus whom Paulpreaches’” (Acts19:13).Becauseof theiraffiliationwiththeoldJewishorder,stilloperatingunderthatcovering,theevilspiritansweredthemsaying,“JesusIknow,andPaulIknow;butwhoareyou?”(Acts19:15).Thekeyistobreakalltieswithformeraffiliations,andmakesureyouareinpartnershipwithChristaloneasyousubmittothenew.

InhisfirstlettertotheCorinthians,Paulwarnedthechurchtherenottofollowafterotherteachersortheiropinionsof thetruth.Theywerebecomingdividedandarguingaboutwhowasthegreaterleaderamongthem.“Eachofyousays,‘IamofPaul,’or‘IamofApollos,’or‘IamofCephas,’or‘IamofChrist.’IsChristdivided?WasPaulcrucifiedforyou?OrwereyoubaptizedinthenameofPaul?”(1Cor.1:12-13).PaulunderstoodthedangersofsubmittingtosomeoneorsomebeliefthatwasnotbasedonthesimplemessageoftheGospel.InhissecondlettertotheCorinthianshewrote,“I fear, lestsomehow,astheserpentdeceivedEvebyhiscraftiness,soyourmindsmaybecorruptedfromthesimplicitythatisinChrist”(2Cor.11:3).

Everythingyouhaveeverheard,tasted,touched,experiencedkinestheticallyorolfactorily(smelled)ispermanentlyimprintedonyoursoul.Andyet,Godisabletocleanseeveryareabythe“washingofthewaterbytheword”(Eph.5:26).

DemonicInroadsSatanrecognizesthatthemindistheinroadintoyourlife.This iswhyApostlePaulused

suchcombativelanguageindescribingthebattleoveryourthoughtlife:“Fortheweaponsofourwarfarearenotphysical[weaponsoffleshandblood],buttheyaremightybeforeGodfortheoverthrowanddestructionofstrongholds”(2Cor.10:4AMP).

Interestinglyenough,Paulisnotsimplyreferringtothoughts,aswediscussedyesterday.Asingle thoughtalonedoesnotgive theenemyan inroad into your life.Rather, it ishowwerespondtothesethoughtsthatdetermineswhatkindofterritorysatanisabletolayclaimtoinourlives.Thisiswhywemustbeviolentinhowwerespondtohisattemptsatlayingsiegetoourmindsandestablishingdemonicmindsets.

Paulcontinues,“WedestroyeveryproudobstaclethatkeepspeoplefromknowingGod.Wecapture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obeyChrist” (2 Cor. 10:5NLT). These

mindsetsdonotsimplykeepworldlypeopleblindedtotheGospelmessage,buttheyhavetheabilitytopreventyouandmefromknowingGod.

By giving the enemy any inroad into your thoughts, you embrace hismindset; you startthinkinglesslikeanambassadorofChrist,andmorelikeacitizenofthisfallenworld.ThisiswhytheenemyworkssohardatestablishingfalsemindsetsinKingdomcitizens—andoneofthemain ways he does this is by getting you to associate with those who foster mindsetsdominatedbydarkness.HeknowshowdangerousthepeopleoflightaretohisdarkkingdomwhentheyacknowledgeWhoGod is,andwhentheyembracean identitybasedonwhatHehas said about them. Such people refuse to yield to demonic associations that producemindsetsofdarknessintheirlives.

Ireiterate,theenemyisthoroughlyinterestedincraftingyourmindset,orhowyourmindisset.HedoesnotwantyouthinkingaccordingtotheWordofGodandtherebyadoptingaKingdommindset.

Weare living inenemy-occupied territory.Thatenemy isactivelyseekingtoenslaveyou.He can’t enslave your spirit, but he can enslave your soul, and thus your mind, will, andemotions.Hebuilds inroads into yourmind,unleashinghis spirits of deception, perversion,addiction,manipulation,andeveryimaginable(andunimaginable)thinghecandevisetokeepyoufromthefreedomthatisinChrist.1DavidwroteinPsalm143:3:

“Theenemyisthoroughlyinterestedincraftingyourmindset.”Fortheenemyhaspersecutedmysoul;hehascrushedmylifetotheground;hehasmademedwellindarkness,likethosewhohavelongbeendead.

Peterwarnedusto“bevigilantandcautiousatalltimes;forthatenemyofyours,thedevil,roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon anddevour”(1Pet.5:8AMP).

Theenemyandhiscohortslookforthosetheycandeceive,seduce,andcaptivate.“God’sSpirit clearly says that in the lastdaysmanypeoplewill turn from their faith.Theywill befooledbyevilspiritsandbyteachingsthatcomefromdemons”(1Tim.4:1CEV).Believerswillbeledastrayandfooledintopartneringwithevilspirits.Inmorecasesthannot,thisdoorisopenedthroughanassociationoraffiliationwithonewhoisgiventodarkness.InthebookofRevelation,JohnwarnsthechurchinThyatiraaboutthis:

I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself aprophetessandisteachingandseducingmyservantstopracticesexualimmorality…Iwillstrikeherchildrendead.AndallthechurcheswillknowthatIamhewhosearchesmind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works (Revelation2:20,23ESV).

Revelation2:22inTheMessagereads,“I’mabouttolayherlow,alongwithherpartners.”IntheOldTestament,Jezebelwasacruel,immoralqueenwhofosteredtheworshipofBaal

andaggressivelysoughttomurdertheprophetsofGod.ShewasthequeenofIsrael,thewifeofAhab,andthedaughterofEthbaal.Shewasaseductressandmanipulator.AccordingtotheEnhancedStrong’sLexicon,thenameJezebelisdefinedas“Baalexalts”or“Baalishusbandto”or“unchaste.”SheaimstoleadGod’sservantsastrayinordertopromoteBaal’sagenda,ortheagendaofBeelzebub,whoistherulerofdemons—satan.WearetoldinFirstJohn,“Donotbelieveeveryspirit,buttestthespirits,whethertheyareofGod”(1John4:1).

GodstillhadmoretosaytothechurchinThyatira:

But Ialsohaveamessage for the restofyou inThyatirawhohavenot followed thisfalseteaching(“deepertruths,”astheycallthem—depthsofSatan,actually).IwillasknothingmoreofyouexceptthatyouholdtightlytowhatyouhaveuntilIcome.Toallwhoarevictorious,whoobeymetotheveryend,tothemIwillgiveauthorityoverallthenations.Theywillrulethenationswithanironrodandsmashthemlikeclaypots.TheywillhavethesameauthorityIreceivedfrommyFather,andIwillalsogivethemthemorningstar!(Revelation2:24-28NLT)

Hold tightly to the truth that youknow.Stay strong in themeasureof faith you’vebeengiven.Don’tcomplicatethemessageoftheGospel.RemembertheloveGodhasforyouandhowyoufirstcametoloveGodinresponse,andcontinueinthatlove“lestsomehow,astheserpentdeceivedEvebyhiscraftiness,soyourmindsmaybecorrupted fromthesimplicitythatisinChrist”(2Cor.11:3).

POWERPOINT

In conclusion, this is not a call for radical separatism. Those dwelling in darknessdesperatelyneedthelightyoucarry.Thereisadifference,though,betweeninteractingwithsuchpeopleandenteringintodangeroussoulattachmentsbyembracingtheirmindsets.

POWERTHOUGHT

Thelessyouassociatewithsomepeople,themoreyourlifewillimprove.Thesimplebuttruefactoflifeisthatyoubecomelikethosewithwhomyoucloselyassociate—forthegoodandthebad.—ColinPowell

Day8

ATTITUDES

ThemoreyoureaffirmwhoyouareinChrist,themoreyourbehaviorwillbegintoreflectyourtrueidentity.—NeilT.Anderson

DISCIPLINE#8—EMBRACEWHOGODSAYSYOUAREINCHRIST

Thewaywe respond to stimuli is absolutely important, asour responses revealwhatwebelieve.Ourmindsetsdetermineourmethodsofresponse,andourmethodsofresponsewouldbeclassifiedasourattitudes.

SincewearecalledtoberepresentativesofJesusChrist,wemustdisciplineourselvestobuildourattitudesonourtrueidentity—asnewcreationsinChrist.

Aswearedealingintherealmof intrinsic—oremotional—exchanges,wearegoingtobecoveringseveralsignificantfactorsthatareextremelyformationalwhenitcomestoshapingattitudes. Though there are undoubtedly others, the following exchangesmust be carefullymonitoredifwearetoavoidthesoultiesthatproduceunhealthyattitudesinourlives.

“Our mindsets determine our methods of response—our methods ofresponseareourattitudes.”

EntitlementWe’vetalkedalotabouttheaffectsofnegativewords,abusiverelationships,orunfortunate

circumstances on the health of our souls. However, there are also some soul-health issueswhenitcomestostatusorprivilege.Thosewhoarebornwithasilverspooncanbecomeasentangled in their sense of entitlement as those who are born with no spoon can becomeenslavedtoamentalityoflack.Presumingyouhavearighttobeserved,lavishedwithluxury,orprovidedwithwhateveryoudesirewithnoeffortorreciprocityonyourpart,cannotonlybedebilitating,butalsotoxictoeveryonearoundyou.Itcancauseyoutobecomepretentious,ifnotmanipulative.

Feelingentitled isanobstacle toprogress—itkeepsyou fromgrowingandbuildingyourcapacity to do and becomemore. It can even become a type of handicap and limitation tofulfillingyourpotentialandexperiencingtruefreedomandabundance.Asenseofentitlementmakesyoumoresusceptibletodiscontentment,disappointment,anddiscouragement.Itisindirectoppositiontoanattitudeofgratitude.

ActsofKindnessTherearecertainactsofkindnessthatproduceasenseofobligationorproducefeelingsof

indebtedness.Sometimesasarecipientofsomeone’skindnessyouwill feelatuggingintheheartthatyouowethem—thattheyownpartofyoubecauseofwhattheyhavedoneforyou.Thiscreatesanattitudethatcancoloreverythingyoudoaslongasyouarearoundthepersonwhoextendedaparticularkindnesstoyou.Sometimesthiscanbehealthyandpositive—buttherearetimesitcanbecomeoppressive.

InthecaseofJonathanshowingkindnesstoDavid,DavidfeltheowedittoshowkindnesstoJonathan’sdescendants.InSecondSamuel9:1heasks,“IstherestillanyonewhoisleftofthehouseofSaul,thatImayshowhimkindnessforJonathan’ssake?”HereiswhereDavidisintroducedtoMephibosheth,Jonathan’sson,whoeventuallyfellonhisfacebeforeDavidandcried,“Hereisyourservant!”(2Sam.9:6).DavidsaidtoMephibosheth,“Donotfear,forIwillsurelyshowyoukindnessforJonathanyourfather’ssake”(2Sam.9:7).

Inothercases,actsofkindnesscancreatebondsthatdevelopanunhealthyattitudetowardanotherperson,andthereforeproduceatypeofsoulattachment.Peoplewhoextendkindnessfromaheartthatisnotpurewilloftenrequestareturnfavor:“AfterallI’vedoneforyou!”—

anditsunderlyingimplication,“Youoweittome.”

TraumaticExperiencesTraumaticexperiencescanleadtoPostTraumaticStressDisorder(PTSD),whichconnects

apersononadeepemotionalleveltoanexperiencecausingthemtorelivethepastthroughpainfulmemories,dreams,nightmares,andongoingemotionaltrauma.

Rather than being defined as someone redeemed by Christ, the traumatic experiencebecomes the primary driver of definition and purpose. Sadly,many arrive at a pointwheretheyaresointrinsicallylinkedwiththeirpasttrauma,theyareunabletorecognizewhotheyareapartfromtheirunfortunateexperience.Theirpainsadlydefinestheirpresent.

Oldheartwounds,warwounds,andperceptionsofbeingwoundedcan tieaperson toapast experience. When the people of Israel left Egypt, they could not get beyond thewounding,thememories,ortheshameoftheirpastlives.InthebookofExoduswearetold:

ThewholecongregationofthechildrenofIsraelcomplainedagainstMosesandAaroninthewilderness.AndthechildrenofIsraelsaidtothem,“Oh,thatwehaddiedbythehand of the Lord in the land of Egypt.… For you have brought us out into thiswildernesstokillthiswholeassemblywithhunger”(Exodus16:2-3).

Theycouldnothopeinthefuturebecauseofthedespairoftheirpast.Theycouldnothavefaithinthepresentbecausetheywerehauntedbyformerfears.Warveteransandpeoplewhohave lived in fear inwar-ravishedparts of theworld commonly suffer from this, aswell asthosewithapastfilledwithoppressionandabuse.

POWERPOINT

Yourattitudeiseverythingwhenitcomestolivingaresilientlifestyle.Recognizethatyouplay an integral role in determining the type of attitudes you exhibit toward people andstimuli.Don’tallowtheseexchangestoproducesoulattachmentsthatrestrainyoufromthelifeyou’vealwayswanted.

POWERTHOUGHT

Foryoudied,andyourlifeisnowhiddenwithChristinGod(Colossians3:3NIV).

Day9

BELIEFS

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every casegotten at secondhand, and without examination, from authorities who have notthemselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-handfrom other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brassfarthing.—MarkTwain

DISCIPLINE#9—DELIBERATELYFORMYOURBELIEFSYSTEM

Weallmaintainacertainsetofbeliefs.AsmuchasmanyofuswouldliketoclaimthatweholdtoanaccuratebiblicalworldviewthatisdefinedbyaScripture-basedbeliefsystem,oftenthiscouldnotbefurtherfromthetruth.

Abeliefisnotmerelyaspokenconfessionorintellectualassenttocertaindenominationaldoctrinesor theologicalconcepts.Yourbeliefsare thevery things fundamentally thatshapehowyouperceive,andinturn,respondtoreality.ThisiswhyitisvitalthatyoupracticethedisciplineofformingyourbeliefsaccordingtotheWordofGod.

Remember,thisisadiscipline,whichmeansitwillnotcometoyounaturally.Youwillnotdevelophealthy,balanced,andsolidbeliefsystemsthroughosmosis;itdemandsintentionalityonyourpart.

In addition to studying Scripture, this discipline requires the confrontation of false anddestructivebeliefsystems—manyofwhicharedevelopedthroughsoulattachments.Thiswillrequiresomedeepthoughtandself-reflection,asmanyofusoftendonotevenrecognizethedangerousdoctrineswecarryaroundasourown,subconsciouslybuildingourlivesupontheseerroneousbeliefsystems.Infact,wemaybeconvincedwebelieveonething,butinreality,webelievesomethingthatiscontrarytotheverythingwesaywebelieve.

“Your beliefs are the very things fundamentally that shape how youperceive,andinturn,respondtoreality.”

Forexample,peoplecanproclaim,shout, sing,andevenpreach thatGod“isgood” fromnowuntilthemomenttheyexittheplanet,butiftheviewofGodtheycarrydeepwithintheirheartsisoneofanaustere,angry,anddistantdeity,thatishowtheywillultimatelyrespondtoHim—regardlessofhowvehementlytheydisagree.

Beliefs are deeper than words, thoughts, and even mindsets. Beliefs are a step beyondattitudes,forwhatwebelievedetermineswhattypeofattitudesweadoptandexpress.

Often,wedonotthinkofbeliefsinconjunctionwithsoultiesorattachments.Thetruthis,wedonotalwaysconsciouslyformourbeliefsystems.Theyareacompositeofmanydifferentfactors and influences, some of the most significant stemming from soul ties we havedevelopedoverourlives.Let’slookatatypeofexchangethatcontributestothebuildingandfortifyingofourbeliefsystems.

Mentors,Coaches,SpiritualDirectorsMentors and coaches havemany positive gifts and insights to impart to thosewho seek

theirdirection.Theymayalsohavesinsandnegativeattributesthatcanbeimpartedaswell.ThinkaboutthisexamplefromScripture.AlthoughSamuelreceivedgoodinstructionfrom

Eli and grew up to become a great prophet, he also carried with him the effects of Eli’sfailures. God told Samuel, “I have warned [Eli] that judgment is coming upon his familyforever,becausehissonsareblasphemingGodandhehasn’tdisciplinedthem”(1Sam.3:13NLT).

ElididnotraisehissonstofeartheLord,andneitherdidSamuel:“But[Samuel’s]sonsdid

not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and pervertedjustice”(1Sam.8:3).Whenyousubmityourselfasanapprenticetosomeone,theywillimparttoyouboththeirstrengthsandtheirweaknesses.This iswhy it isabsolutely imperativeforyoutopersonallybuildyourbeliefsystemsonthewrittenWordofGodrathertheopinionsofpeople.

Thoughleadershavemuchtoofferandimpart,keepinmindthattheyareindeedhumanandpronetoerror.TheonlyteacherwecantrustcompletelyistheHolySpirit.HeistheonlyOneworthyofourunquestionableallegianceandwholeheartedattachment.

Aswe formourbeliefs basedon theTruthofGod’sWord, shaping themafterwhatGodsays, not the thoughts andopinions of people,weposition ourselves to experience a life ofresiliency.

Theproblemwithputtingallofourmetaphoricaleggs inoneteacher’s“beliefbasket” isthatwe forget that, like you and I, that individual is also growing. Thatmeans continuouschange.Therefore, if thepersonafterwhomwearemodelingourentirebelief system is influx,thatdoesnotmakeforareliablecompassasweattempttonavigateaforward-moving,empoweredlifestyle.

Bydefault,becauseoftheattachmentwehavemadewithhisorherbeliefsystem,wetooareconstantlychanging.Stabilitybecomesaforeignconcept,foreverythingisbuiltupontheshiftingsandofapersonsusceptibletoerror,transition,andchange.Beitpositivetransition,which produces maturity, or negative change resulting from compromise, it is completelyunhealthyforustodevelopanattachmentorsoultietosomeoneelse’sbeliefsystem.

“WemustpursueTruthandestablishourownbeliefsbasedontheWordofGod.”

ThisiswhywemustpursueTruthforourselvesandestablishourownbeliefs,basedonthesure Word of God. There is but one Compass, one true Coach, one ultimate Teacher andMasterMentor.

POWERPOINT

Perhapsthemostbelief-shapingexchangethatweneedtobemindfulof,particularlyintheday in whichwe live, is that which takes place between us and our leaders—spiritual andotherwise.

Wecannotidlyentrustourpersonalbeliefsystemstoothers.Whileourleadershavemuchgraceandtruthtoimparttousineffectivelybuildingourbeliefsystems,wecannotbecomeoverlydependent.TheonlyOneweshouldbeattachedor tied to is theHolySpirit,as it isimpossibleforHimtoleadusastray.StayintheWordofGod.AllowtheHolySpirittobuildyourbeliefsaccordingtotheironclad,eternalTruthcontainedwithinitspreciouspages.

POWERTHOUGHT

Noprolongedinfanciesamongus,please.We’llnottoleratebabesinthewoods,smallchildrenwhoareaneasymark for impostors.Godwantsus togrowup, toknowthewholetruthandtellitinlove—likeChristineverything(Ephesians4:14-15MSG).

Day10

PARADIGMS

Weseetheworld,notasitis,butasweare—or,asweareconditionedtoseeit.—StephenR.Covey

DISCIPLINE#10—MAINTAINAKINGDOMPERSPECTIVE

Somemightwonderifthereisastepbeyondbeliefsystems.Afterall,howcouldtherebeanythingmoreimportantthanwhatwebelieve?

Actually, there is.Remember, as integral as yourbeliefs are, they change.Yougrowandmature,andwiththat,yourbeliefs followsuit. Ifyouareontheroadtomaturity, thenyourbeliefsareconstantlychallengedandredirectedbyTruth,whichisdefinedbyGod’sWord.

Just because you hold to a certain belief does not mean your entire life is bound andtherebydefinedbyit.Again,therewillalwaysbeunhealthybeliefsweneedtoadjustthataretheproductofunhealthysoulattachments.Eventhemostmaturepersonisstilldevelopinginhisorherpersonalbeliefs.

Whatactuallydefineswhoyouareandhowyourespond toyourbeliefs isyourpersonalparadigm.Thisisthelensorperspectivethroughwhichyouseeandinteractwiththeworld.This is why it is vital for you to embrace the discipline of maintaining God’s Kingdomperspectiveinallthings.

Our beliefs are certainly formative factors in helping us establish our paradigms, butultimately,ourparadigmsdeterminewhatbeliefsweembraceandapplytoourlives.

Forexample, two foundationalparadigmswouldbeKingdom-centricorself-centric. IfwerecognizethateverythingisbuiltuponandrevolvesaroundtheKingdomofGod—thatJesusChrist is truly the center of our lives andwe are committed to advancingHis cause in theearth—then we will believe and build accordingly. If self is our paradigm, then likewise,everythingwebelieveandeverythingwebuildwillbedevotedtopromotingourselves.

“Our paradigms determine what beliefs we embrace and apply to ourlives.”

A Kingdom paradigm is the resilient life personified. When we see from the King’sperspective and manifest our Kingdom citizenship, we recognize that “No weapon formedagainstyoushallprosper” (Isa.54:17).Weunderstandthatwearepartofsomethingthatisunshakable (see Heb. 12:28), undefeatable (see Matt. 16:18-19), and ever increasing ingovernment,territory,andrule(seeIsa.9:7).

While every believer should ascribe to this paradigm, there are a series of deepattachments thatshapeour livesanddefine the lens throughwhichwesee life.Thoughwecannotalwayschangethecircumstancesofourbirth,upbringing,orculture,wecanchallengetheincorrectparadigmswewereraisedin,evaluatethembythestandardofGod’sKingdomparadigm, and rid our lives of attachments that keepus ensnared indestructive, unbiblicalparadigms.

CulturalAttachmentsCultureshapesandmoldshowweviewtheworld.Culture is influencedbyhowapeople

groupdefines—oridentifies—itself.Cultureisdefinedassharedattitudes,values,goals,andpractices—shared tastes in art, food, entertainment, and behavior; it is the beliefs andcustomsthatarecharacteristicofaparticularsocialgroupororganization.Everypersonhasaculturalidentityshapedbythecommunityinwhichtheylive.Acultureisinfluencedbyitseducational,political,andeconomicsystems,religiousinstitutions,technology,sports,media,diversity of ethnicities, group thinking, core values, wealth, entertainment, geography,

climate, and so on. All of these factors determine the values, perceptions, mindsets, andparadigmsthatformstrongholds.Forexample,youhaveprobablyheardoftheterm“ghettofabulous.” This phrase describes a culture defined by deviant dress codes, language, andmorals, and often produces what some call “hood rats” who engage in gang-related andcriminal activities. I amnotmakingadisparaging statementhere, because this is the termusedbymanyindividualsthemselves.Thisissimplyanexampleofastrongsoultietoculture,wherepeopleuseadjectivesthatarelessthancomplimentarytodescribethemselves.

Thetiescreatedbyaculturearesostrongtheyreachacrossgenerations.InFirstKings,we readaboutAhaziah, the sonofAhab,whobecamekingand reignedover Israel for twoyears.“HedidevilinthesightoftheLord,andwalkedinthewayofhisfatherandinthewayofhismotherandinthewayofJeroboamthesonofNebat,whohadmadeIsraelsin”(1Kings22:52).Ahaziahwasaproductoftheenvironmenthegrewupinandwasunabletobreakthecycle of wickedness that had become his cultural norm. These cultural ties can becomestrongholdsinourlives.Paul’slettertotheCorinthiansgivesclearinstructionsonhowtoteardownworldly strongholds, “We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knockdownthestrongholdsofhumanreasoningandtodestroyfalsearguments.WedestroyeveryproudobstaclethatkeepspeoplefromknowingGod”(2Cor.10:4-5NLT).

InhislettertotheRomans,Paulwrote:

Don’tbecomesowell-adjustedtoyourculturethatyoufitintoitwithouteventhinking.Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readilyrecognizewhathewantsfromyou,andquicklyrespondtoit.Unliketheculturearoundyou, alwaysdraggingyoudown to its level of immaturity,Godbrings thebestoutofyou,developswell-formedmaturityinyou(Romans12:2MSG).

InstitutionalTiesInstitutional attachments are profound and far-reaching. They are concealed below the

surface of everyday life. Unlike cultural ties that you can actually see and observe,institutionaltiescanbealmostimperceptible.TheMatrixmoviecomestomind.Themaincharacter,Neo,hadtoworkhard toactually

“see” the framework inwhichheexisted.Whilebecoming “unplugged”nearlykilledhim, italsoenabledhimtoreallylive.Inthesameway,ifwearetoreallylive“unplugged”—freefrominvisible attachments that keep our souls bound to the world’s systems—we will need tounderstandtheinstitutionsthatgovernourlives.

Institutionsexisttopromoteaspecificpurpose,agenda,orcause.Theyareinstrumentalincreatingtheparadigmsinwhichwelive—theworld’ssystems.Godlyinstitutions,suchastheinstitutionofmarriage,arehealthyandholdthefamilyandsocietytogetherinrighteousness.Ungodly institutions, such as the institution of slavery, are demonic. The god of this worldseekstoenslavehumankindandhassuccessfullykepttheinstitutionofslaveryaliveandwellin theearth to thisday.Remember,“wedonotwrestleagainst fleshandblood,butagainstprincipalities,againstpowers,againsttherulersofthedarknessofthisage,againstspiritualhostsofwickednessintheheavenlyplaces”(Eph.6:12).Becausetheroleofinstitutionsissofar-reaching—theirpresenceinoursocietysopervasive—theireffectonourmindsandinoureverydaylivesishardtodiscern.Youmustdiligently“seektheKingdomofGodaboveallelse”(Matt.6:33NLT)andcontinually“Betransformedbytherenewingofyourmind”(Rom.12:2).Youdon’thavetobeaproductofyourenvironmentorremainaprisonerofculture.

NationalTiesWhatevertakesplaceinanationandamongitsleadersaffectsthesoulsofitspeople.The

soulofanationistiedtoitsleaders.Wecanseeexamplesofhownationalleadersaroundtheworld have kept the souls of their people bound. The Duvalier family of Haiti reigned asdictators for thirtyyears turningthecountry intoan isolationistkingdomwithapersonalitycult.Lessobviousthannationaldictators,aretheleaderswhocompromiseandallowsinandcorruption to reign supreme. Jeroboam, Ahab, Ahaziah, and Jehu on down the line are thekingswhoall ledIsrael tosin.Theyallowedpaganworship,perversion,andmoraldecaytotakeoverthenation.

Weseewhat transpireswhenyousellyoursoul tobeprostitutedby theworldsystem inLuke15.Thisiswhathappenedinthestoryoftheprodigalson.Helefthometo“getinbed”withtheworld,andtheworldusedhimupandspithimout.Finally,“whenhecametohimself,he said, ‘Howmany of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and Iperishwithhunger!’”(Luke15:17).Althoughthesonwasheirtohisfather’skingdom,hewasstillheldcaptivebytheworld.

“Whatevertakesplaceinanationandamongitsleadersaffectsthesoul

ofitspeople.”“Forallthenationshavefallenbecauseofthewineofherpassionateimmorality.Thekings of the world have committed adultery with her. Because of her desires forextravagantluxury,themerchantsoftheworldhavegrownrich.”ThenIheardanothervoicecalling fromheaven, “Comeaway fromher,mypeople.Donot takepart inhersins,oryouwillbepunishedwithher”(Revelation18:3-4NLT).

YoumayhavegivenyourhearttoJesus,butsatancanstillholdswayoveryourmind.Hecankeepyouinastuporifyoulethim.PaulwrotetheEphesians,

“Awake,youwhosleep,arisefromthedead,andChristwillgiveyoulight.”Seethenthatyouwalkcircumspectly,notasfoolsbutaswise(Ephesians5:14-15).

ApostlePaulmadethisurgentplea:

Iinsist—andGodbacksmeuponthis—thattherebenogoingalongwiththecrowd,theempty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God thatthey’ve lost touch not onlywithGod butwith reality itself. They can’t think straightanymore.Feelingnopain,theyletthemselvesgoinsexualobsession,addictedtoeverysortofperversion(Ephesians4:17-19MSG).

PaulwrotetheCorinthians,“So,comeoutfromamong[unbelievers],andseparate(sever)yourselvesfromthem,saystheLord,andtouchnot[any]uncleanthing;thenIwillreceiveyoukindlyandtreatyouwithfavor”(2Cor.6:17AMP).

POWERPOINT

Don’t be “double-minded,” as James wrote, “Such people should not expect to receiveanything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and theworld, and they areunstableineverythingtheydo”(James1:7-8NLT).Jesusmadeclear,“YoucannotservebothGodandmoney” (Matt.6:24NLT).Youmust“choose foryourselves thisdaywhomyouwillserve”(Josh.24:15).

YoucaneithertetheryoursoultoGod’sKingdomortotheworld’s—whichdoyouchoose?

POWERTHOUGHT

Don’tbecomesowell-adjustedtoyourculturethatyoufitintoitwithouteventhinking.Instead,fixyourattentiononGod.You’llbechangedfromtheinsideout(Romans12:2MSG).

WeekThree

CONFRONTINGRELATIONALSOULTIES

Youcankissyourfamilyandfriendsgoodbyeandputmilesbetweenyou,butatthesame time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach,because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. —FrederickBuechner

So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of oneanother(Romans12:5).

Relationship is at the center of all God does. God’s Kingdom is made manifest in ourrelationshipwithHim andwith one another. “All this comes from the Godwho settled therelationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with eachother”(2Cor.5:18MSG).GodcreatedhumanitytoenjoyintimatefellowshipwithHimevenaswepursue thatclosenesswitheachother—thatwe,withChrist,wouldbecomeone,unifiedwhole.

TheNewTestament is riddledwith referencesabout conductingourselvesas “onebody:“for we are all parts of one body andmembers one of another” (Eph. 4:25 AMP), “closelyjoinedandfirmlyknittogether”(Eph.4:16AMP),“thattheirheartsmaybeencouraged,beingknittogetherinlove”(Col.2:2).

Wearealsotold,ontheotherhand,that“Whereenvyandself-seekingexist,confusionandevery evil thing are there” (James 3:16). The enemy of our soul takes what Godmeant toliberateus, twists it justa little,andthenuses it toenslaveus instead.WhatGodmeant toknitoursoulstogetherintheliberatingbondsofloveandtruth,satanusestotieupoursoulswith the yokes of selfishness and deception. Our souls are entrapped in life-draining,codependent relationships rather than life-giving and mutually supportive partnerships. IconcurwiththefollowingsentimentofferedbyretiredUSGeneralColinPowell:

“God created humanity to enjoy intimate fellowshipwithHim sowe alltogether,withChrist,wouldbecomeone,unifiedwhole.”

Thelessyouassociatewithsomepeople,themoreyourlifewillimprove.Anytimeyoutoleratemediocrity in others, it increases yourmediocrity. An important attribute insuccessful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative actingpeople.Asyougrow,yourassociateswill change.Someofyour friendswillnotwantyou togoon.Theywillwantyou tostaywhere theyare.Friends thatdon’thelpyouclimbwillwantyoutocrawl.Yourfriendswillstretchyourvisionorchokeyourdream.Thosethatdon’tincreaseyouwilleventuallydecreaseyou.

Nothingaboutourhumanexperienceseems tobecompletelyperfect—especiallywhen itcomes to relationships.We are challenged to develop and grow as a result of the inherentcomplexitiesofevenourmosttreasuredrelationships.Thosetowhomweattachourselvesarean integral part of our quest to find amirrored image ofwhowe really are.Noman is anisland;wewerecreatedforcommunity.Overcomingrelationaldifficultiesandtheemotionalpain associated with the disappointments of past relationships demands that we face ourpresentchallengeswithinsightandresolve.

Life is a kaleidoscopic contradiction.Our relationshipswith friends, spouses, colleagues,andfamilymemberscanbewonderfullyrewarding.Conversely,theycanalsoproducesomeofthedeepestpain,heartache, frustration,anddisappointment.Thereare thosewhomakeusfeelopen,authentic,andatease—whileotherscauseus tobecomeguarded,defensive,andawkward;theyleaveusfeelingemotionallydepletedanddiminished,ifnotpowerless.Itisaconundrumwhywechoose to remain insuchdysfunctional relationships.Howdowebreak

theseunhealthyrelationalcycles,orevenmusterthecourageandstrengthtowalkawayfromrelationshipsthataretoxic?

Healthy,loving,andmutuallybeneficialrelationshipstakeworktocultivateandmaintain.Why?For starters,we are eachdynamic beingswho change fromday to day. Secondly,wecome into relationships from different backgrounds bringing the life scripts we are mostaccustomedtowithus—scriptsthathavebeenreinforcedbyoursocialization,education,andcultural experiences. Add to that all of the repressed emotional anchors and psychologicaltriggersgarneredfromourchildhoodexperiences,andyouhavearecipeforcomplexity!

For example, each of us experienced and interpreted love as a child differently. If youexperienced constant fighting, yelling, and belittlement in your family, youmight concludethat family relationshipsbring sufferingandunhappiness.Youmighthave seenoneof yourparents dominated and controlled by the other. Thus, in your own relationships, you eitherdominateorbecomedominated.Youmighthaveexperiencedloveshownintheformoflavishgifts rather than emotional connection or physical affection.We have a tendency to repeatwhatwe are familiarwith. Indeed, as Shakespeare intimated, “all theworld is a stage.” Inotherwords,weallhaveourscripts.Ifyoueverfindtheinnerstrengthtodrilldownbelowthepsychological surfaceof your consciousmind, youwill discover awell springof clues as tohowtochangeyourlifescripts.Insodoing,youwillhavediscoveredhowtobreakunhealthycyclesandtocultivatebeautiful,mutuallybeneficialrelationships.

Therearealso thosewhomayhavedevelopedanegative internaldialogueasaresultofbeing bullied, teased, isolated, rejected, or ignored. The scriptswe replay internally are asdebilitatingasthoseweplayoutinourrelationships.Knowingthatlifeissomuchfullerandricherwhenwearefreefromtoxicthoughtsandrelationshippatterns,whydon’twedomoretotakecontrolof them?Amajorreason isbecausewehavenotbeenofferedanalternativepattern,strategy,ormodeltofollow.

Themost important relationship lesson I have learned is that the relationshipswe havewithotherpeopleareprojectionsoftherelationshipwehavewithourselves.Wedonotdrawtoourselveswhomwewant,butwhoweare.Itisanissueoflikeattractinglike.Ourexternalrelationships are simply an extension of our internal relationship. When we establishrelationshipswithothers,weareactuallysearchingforamirroredimageofourselves—oftencausingustosearchforloveinallthewrongplaces.Thisiswhywhenwefindsomethingincommonwithanotherperson,wegetexcitedbecausethatpersonismirroringforuswhowereallyareandvalidatingoursenseofidentity.Evenmanyofthethingswerejectinothers,weactuallysecretlyharbororstrugglewithonasubconsciouslevel.Conversely,whenwelearnhowtoauthentically loveourselves,wewillattractpeoplewhowillmirror that love.This isanotherareawhereknowledgeofthetruthwillsetyoufree!

Withthisinmind,wewillbegindelvingintotheheartofourstudy.Forthenextfourweeks,wewillbegoingdeeperintotherealmofrelationaldynamics,takealookatsomeofthemostdestructivetypesofrelationalattachments,andbeginpracticingthecorrespondingdisciplinesthatwillempoweryoutopresstowardexperiencingtheresilientlifethatGodalwaysintendedforyou.

Life doesn’t get easier ormore forgiving,we get stronger andmore resilient.—JodiPicoult

Day11

WEVERSUSME

Comingtogether isabeginning;keepingtogether isprogress;workingtogether issuccess.—HenryFord

DISCIPLINE#11—BE“WE-MINDED”INSTEADOF“ME-MINDED”

Asweexploredintheprevioustwoweeks,everythingthatexistsis inaconstantstateofinteractionandexchange—influencingandbeinginfluencedbywhateverisaroundit.Thereisnothingmore influential than the relationships you enter into with other people. As I alsostated, the electromagnetic exchange that takes place between two living souls is dynamicandpowerful.Thatexchange—orinteraction—caneitherbelifegivingorlifedepleting.Soultiesinfluencethetrajectoryandlimitationsofyourexistence.

Ifyourrelationshipsaremotivatedbyselfishness,envy,pride,orfear,thesetieswillsplitthesoulsothattheyresultinan“I”and“you”ratherthana“we”and“me”dynamic.Whensuchasplittakesplace,thereisdivision,conflict,andstrife—adisconnectwithChristandthemembersofHisBodythatleadsto“everyevilthing.”PaultoldtheCorinthians,“thereshouldbenoschisminthebody,butthatthemembersshouldhavethesamecareforoneanother”(1Cor.12:25).Ourinteractionsdeterminethehealthofoursouls—whethertheywillbetiedandyokedinthebondageofdarkness,or“bathedinsunlight…freetoenjoyGod!”(Isa.58:10,14MSG).

“Nothing ismore influential than the relationships you enter intowithotherpeople.”

InaverypowerfulpassageofScripture,theprophetIsaiahoutlinesthewillofGodinthisarea.HemakesclearthathowwechoosetorelatetootherswilldeterminehowGodchoosestorelatetous.

Is thisnot the fast that Ihavechosen: to loosethebondsofwickedness, toundotheheavyburdens,tolettheoppressedgofree,andthatyoubreakeveryyoke?Isitnottoshareyourbreadwiththehungry,andthatyoubringtoyourhousethepoorwhoarecastout;whenyouseethenaked,thatyoucoverhim,andnothideyourselffromyourownflesh?Ifyoutakeawaytheyokefromyourmidst, thepointingofthefinger,andspeakingwickedness, if you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflictedsoul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness, and your darkness shall be as thenoonday(Isaiah58:6-7,9-10).

Learning to treat others with love, honor, and respect will unfold the Kingdom of Godbeforeus.This iswhatdefinesholiness,more thanwhatwewear,eat,ordrink—more thanwhatwewatchonTV,listentoontheradio,orpumpintooursoulsthroughourMP3players.Love ishowwe takeup residence in theKingdomofGod,walk in constant fellowshipwithHim, and always remain inHis presence, because “God is love, and hewho abides in loveabidesinGod,andGodinhim”(1John4:16)—“BythisallwillknowthatyouareMydisciples,ifyouhaveloveforoneanother”(John13:35).

ThegreatesttraininggroundtomodelingGodandrevealingourKingdomcitizenshipisbybeingwe-mindedwhen it comes to our relationships instead of being self-consumed. Beingself-centricistheexactoppositeofGod’snature—whenwebecomeme-focusedinsteadofwe-focused,weareactuallywalkingoutsideofaplaceoftrueintimacywithGod.

POWERPOINT

OurrelationshipswithotherpeopletendtomirrorourpersonalrelationshipswithGod.IfwearewalkingincommunionwithHim,wewillrepresentHimaccuratelyinourlives.Timeaftertime,Scriptureupholdsthevalueofbeingwe-mindedinsteadofme-minded.Infact,theGreatCommandment issued by Jesuswas two-fold, involving a love forGodand a love forpeople.Inotherwords,theGreatCommandmentisadivinecallforallofustobewe-minded!

POWERTHOUGHT

That theremaybenodivision in thebody,but that themembersmayhave thesamecareforoneanother(1Corinthians12:25ESV).

Day12

JUSTVERSUSUNJUST

Walk straight, act right, tell the truth. Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame yourneighbor;despisethedespicable(Psalm15:2-4MSG).

DISCIPLINE#12—VALUESERVICEOVERSELFISHNESS

There are four types of relationships that create soul ties. Of these four types ofrelationships, only one is healthy—or just (defined as “honest, honorable, righteous,moral,andtruthful”).

Theotherthreearearesultofwhathasbeencommonlycalled“dysfunctional”relations.Wewillexploretheseinmoredepthlater.Fornow,Iwouldliketostartbydiscussingwhatahealthy relationship looks like, and then take you through the dynamics, symptoms, andeffectsofdysfunctionalrelationshipsinmoregeneralterms.

Ifthereisanydoubtthat“God’sChosenFast”(aspresentedinIsaiah58)isdefinedbyhowwechoosetorelatewithotherpeople,Ezekielmakesitevenplainer.Readthefollowingversein lightofwhatyou’vealready learnedabouthowsoul tiesandentanglementsarecreated,andwhatyoucandotoavoidthem:

Imagine a personwho liveswell, treating others fairly, keeping good relationships…doesn’tseduceaneighbor’sspouse,doesn’tindulgeincasualsex,doesn’tbullyanyone,doesn’t pile up bad debts, doesn’t steal, doesn’t refuse food to the hungry, doesn’trefuse clothing to the ill-clad, doesn’t exploit the poor, doesn’t live by impulse andgreed, doesn’t treat one person better than another, but lives by my statutes andfaithfullyhonorsandobeysmylaws.Thispersonwholivesuprightandwellshallliveafullandtruelife(Ezekiel18:5-9MSG).

ThisishowDavidliveduntilhethrewmuchofitawaywithBathsheba—andhowhelivedafterherepentedof thosesins.This iswhyGodwasso“extravagantlygenerous in love” (1Kings3:6MSG)withhimandwhyHesaidofhim,“IhavefoundDavid…amanafterMyownheart”(Acts13:22).WhatisGod’sheart?HowcanwealignourheartswiththeheartofGod?

In First Kings we read where Solomon speaks to God saying, “You were extravagantlygenerous in love with David my father, and he lived faithfully in your presence, hisrelationshipswerejustandhisheartright”(1Kings3:6MSG).

A“rightheart”—oranuprightheart—and“justrelationships”gohandinhand.What isajust relationshipversusanunjustone?HowcanyoubesureyouarehonoringGod inallofyour interactions and associations?What can you do to cultivate healthy relationships, andthereforeahealthysoul?Letusstartbybrieflyidentifyingwhata“justrelationship”lookslikebeforeexploringthosebirthedoutofdysfunction.

ASymbioticRelationshipDivinely ordained or “destined” soul mates form a kind of synergetic or symbiotic

relationship.Thistypeofrelationshipisamature,healthy,mutuallybeneficialone,comprisedofhealthy individualswhosepersonal livesarebuilton integrityandauthenticity,witheachcontributing to the other’s success, destiny, vision, prosperity, growth, development, andenjoymentinlife.

Someoneoncesaid, “Soulmatesarepeoplewhobringout thebest inyou.Theyarenotperfect, but are always perfect for you.” Soul mates can be two people who are joinedtogether inmarriage, or they can be lifelong friends or business partners, or brothers andsisters in theLord.Youmightdiscovera soulmate inapersonofadifferentgenerationorgender thatyoumightnotnaturallybeattracted toorcomfortablewith, suchasDavidandJonathan, Ruth and Naomi, or Paul and Timothy. The encounter of soul mates is oftenanalogoustothecollisionofmatterandantimatter:Aviolentexplosivereactionthat, ifheldthroughtocompletion,willresultinpureenergyandharmony.

This is a picture of the type of relationship God hoped to create between Himself andhumanitywhenHe exchanged the life ofHis Son—His own flesh and blood—for the life ofeveryhumanbeing.GodmadetheultimatesacrificesothatwecouldexperienceasymbioticrelationshipwithHimandeachother inHim—an interdependent,mutuallyabiding,graftinginofheart,soul,andmindofonelivingbeingwiththeheart,soul,andmindofanother.

OurrelationshipwithChristhasbeenlikenedtoamarriagecovenant.Itissymbioticinthatit is capacity building, stretching, strengthening, and value adding. A healthy marriagerelationshipispurposefulandfunctional.Althougheverymarriagerelationshipwillresultinasoultie,notallaresymbiotic.

Marriagesofconvenience(suchasforimmigrationpurposes),shotgunmarriages,same-sexmarriages,orwhere thepartiesareunequallyyoked,will result indysfunctional,unhealthysoulties.GodwarnedSolomonaboutenteringintosuchamarriageknowingthat“becomingone”meansjustthat—takingonanother’scharacteristics,history,andvalues.“Youshallnotintermarrywith them,nor theywithyou.Surely theywill turnawayyourheartsafter theirgods” (1Kings 11:2). In losing his heart, Solomon lost his kingdom—theKingdomGodhadfore-ordainedthatheandhisdescendantswouldrule.

Foritwasso,whenSolomonwasold,thathiswivesturnedhisheartafterothergods;andhisheartwasnotloyaltotheLordhisGod….ThereforetheLordsaidtoSolomon,“Becauseyouhavedonethis…Iwillsurelytearthekingdomawayfromyouandgiveittoyourservant”(1Kings11:4,11).

Thesametragedyhappenstoday.ItisyourlegacytoenforcetheruleofGod’sKingdomintheearth,butwhenyoumarryyourselftoworldlypeople,youmarryyourselftotheworldandbecomeabsorbedbyitssystemsinsteadofabsolvedofthem—boundbytheminsteadoffreedfromthem.

SotokeepyoursoulhealthyandyourheartrightbeforeGod,keepyourrelationshipsjust.There is nothing more empowering and energizing than a symbiotic relationship whenexpressedappropriately.CherishthoseprecioussoulmatesGodhasgivenyouforthepurposeofmakingyoumorethanyouwouldbeotherwise.AstheFrenchnovelist,MarcelProust,sowisely stated, “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charminggardenerswhomakeoursoulsblossom.”

“Jesus wants to be more than your Friend—He wants to be your SoulMate.”

Remember, Jesus intendstobemorethanyourFriend;Hewants tobeyourSoulMate—eternalsouls, joinedtogether foreternalpurposes.This iswhytheChurch isreferred toasHis Bride. That is the model for the kind of soul connection we are to have with othermembersofHisBody,aswellasthemembersofourownfamilies.

POWERPOINT

Thefollowingisachecklistofthingsthatidentifyahealthyandjustrelationship.Considerwhetheryourrelationshipshavethefollowingcharacteristics:

CommittedtospiritualhealthandgrowthEmpoweringAuthenticandtransparentLeadtoincreasedmaturity,problem-solvingskills,andasharpeningoffocusClearexpectationsandresponsiblefollow-throughClearandhealthyboundariesPersonalresponsibilityforactionsandthoughtsLoyalReliableThoughtfulRespectforpersonhood,opinions,ideas,personalspace,privacy,andconfidentialityPersonalconvictionsareneverviolatedAnallowancefordifferingtemperaments,personalities,preferences,andhabitsMutuallybeneficial

Areyouabletoidentifyrelationshipsthatmeetthesecriteria?TaketimetothankGodforthem.Infact,Iwouldencourageyoutogotheextramileandtaketimetothankeachpersonindividually,whetherit isfacetoface,onthephone, inanemailorecard,oreveninanoldfashioned,handwrittenletter.

POWERTHOUGHT

Wordsareeasy,likethewind;faithfulfriendsarehardtofind.—WilliamShakespeare

Day13

INTERDEPENDENCEVERSUSINDEPENDENCE

Thestrengthoftheteamiseachindividualmember.Thestrengthofeachmemberistheteam.—PhilJackson

DISCIPLINE#13—PURSUEINTEGRATIONOVERISOLATION

Wemustlearntovalueinterdependenceratherthanindependence—toseeourselvesasaninterconnectedwholeratherthanasumofdisconnectedparts:

For because of [Jesus] the whole body (the church, in all its various parts), closelyjoinedand firmlyknit togetherby the joints and ligamentswithwhich it is supplied,when each part [with power adapted to its need] is working properly [in all itsfunctions],growstofullmaturity,buildingitselfupinlove(Ephesians4:16AMP).

Thisbeginswithlovingourneighboraswedoourselves—“ForthewholeLaw[concerninghumanrelationships]iscompliedwithintheoneprecept,Youshallloveyourneighboras[youdo]yourself”(Gal.5:14AMP).Anexpressionofloveisservice.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value othersaboveyourselves,notlookingtoyourowninterestsbuteachofyoutotheinterestsofthe others. In your relationshipswith one another, have the samemindset as ChristJesus(Philippians2:3-5NIV).

Whenwevalueothersaswedoourselvesandareabletolaydownourownpreferencestoservesomeoneelse, that is thestartofhavingaChrist-likerelationship.Thisshouldnotbeone-sidedhowever.Thepeoplewithwhomyouareinrelationshipshouldalsolaydowntheirpreferences and want the best for you. Of course, theremust also be boundaries in theserelationships.WewilldiscussthetopicofbuildinghealthyboundariesinWeekSix.

InWesternsocietyweare taught tobelieve that it isournumberone job to lookout forourselves.Theconceptofbeingpartofsomethingbiggerwherewecanprovideandreceivenourishmentisnearlyalientomostpeople.WhenwegaveourlivestoJesus,webecamepartofabiggerfamilycalledtheBodyofChrist.Adivineassimilationtookplace,adoptingusintoasystemofrelationshipsdesignedtofunctioninspiritualharmonywithoneanother.This isnotsimplyanicegroupofpeopletohavecoffeewithonSundaymornings,butaunifiedbodyofinterconnectedsoulswithwhomweexperiencelifeanddependonwhenneeded.

Servingoneanotherinloveisoneimportantcomponentofbeinganinterdependentfamily.Theothercomponentof interdependence is theability toreceivewhatotherpeoplehavetooffer. Some people find giving much easier than receiving. It takes some measure ofvulnerabilitytosay“yes”tosomeone’sofferofhelp,letalonetoaskforhelp.Thereisbeautyinvulnerability—andinnotalwaysbeingtheonedoingthegiving.Whenwasthelasttimeyougratefullyreceivedassistanceoraskedforhelp?

The wonderful thing about the Body of Christ is that just like the parts of our naturalbodies,we eachhave important, but different, functions toplay.We fool ourselves thinkingthatwe cando everythingall by ourselves. It is this independent spirit that says youdon’tneedanyoneelsetobehappyorgetthejobdone.Whendealingwithaspiritofindependence,usually,thereisanunhealthysoultieattheroot.Sometypeofrelationalcatalysttookplaceinourlivesthroughbetrayal,hurt,abuse,orsomeothertypeofexchange,causingustomakethe decision to withdraw from interdependence and pursue independence. This does notjustifyanyofthehurtfulactionsthatyouexperienced,butwecannotletsuchthingsbecomecatalystsforisolationism.

“The wonderful thing about the Body of Christ is that we each have

importantfunctions.”FunctioningTogether

TheMessagetranslationofRomans12:4-6says:

Inthiswaywearelikethevariouspartsofahumanbody.Eachpartgetsitsmeaningfromthebodyasawhole,nottheotherwayaround.Thebodywe’retalkingabout isChrist’sbodyofchosenpeople.Eachofusfindsourmeaningandfunctionasapartofhisbody.Butasachopped-offfingerorcut-offtoewewouldn’tamounttomuch,wouldwe? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed andmarvelouslyfunctioningpartsinChrist’sbody,let’sjustgoaheadandbewhatweweremade to be,without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselveswith each other, ortryingtobesomethingwearen’t.

Immediately following this passage about beingmembers of one body and one another,Paultalksaboutdifferentgiftsorstrengthseachbringstothetable.

Havingthengiftsdifferingaccordingtothegracethatisgiventous,letususethem:ifprophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; orministry, let us use it in ourministering;hewhoteaches,inteaching;hewhoexhorts,inexhortation;hewhogives,with liberality; hewho leads,withdiligence; hewho showsmercy,with cheerfulness(Romans12:6-8).

Whywastetimeandenergytryingtodosomethingyouarenotparticularlygiftedin?Youwillbuildresiliency intoyour lifewhenyoudraw fromotherpeople’sstrengths.Selfishnessrestrainsdivineactivityandproductivity. Inthe just-citedpassages,wenoticethatwhenweoperateinterdependently,effectiveministryisaccomplishedandourfellowmanisserved.

“Receiving someone’s strength gives them the opportunity to use theirgiftand,inturn,beblessed.”

Jesus said, “It ismore blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). If you find yourselfthinkingthatyoudonotwanttoinconveniencesomeonebyeitherreceivingoraskingforhelp,remember this verse.When you receive from someone’s strength, you are giving them theopportunitytousetheirgiftand,inturn,beblessed.Ultimately,youareempoweringthemtotaketheirstrategicplaceandflourishintheiruniquegracesandgiftings.

POWERPOINT

AsktheLordifthereisaspiritofindependenceinyourlifeandwhatyoucandotobreakit.Nexttimeyoufindyourselfinasituationthatisastruggleforyoutofacealone,intentionallyasksomeoneforhelp.Chancesare,thereisapersonclosebywhowouldbegladtolendyoutheirstrength.

Atfirstglance,independencemightseemliketheidealwaytolivebecauseofthemessageswe receive from society—as well as this deceptive idea of not wanting to inconveniencesomeoneby receivingorasking forhelp.Butwhenwechoose interdependencebyallowingotherpeopletousetheirgiftsandstrengthsinsteadoftryingtodoeverythingourselves,theBodyofChristfunctionsmoreefficientlyandeffectively.

POWERTHOUGHT

Butnowindeedtherearemanymembers,yetonebody.Andtheeyecannotsaytothehand,“Ihavenoneedofyou”;noragaintheheadtothefeet,“Ihavenoneedofyou”(1Corinthians12:20-21).

Day14

CONTENDINGFORVERSUSCOMPETINGWITH

Agreewith each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push yourwaytothefront;don’tsweet-talkyourwaytothetop.Putyourselfaside,andhelpothersgetahead.Don’tbeobsessedwithgettingyourownadvantage (Philippians2:2-4MSG).

DISCIPLINE#14—CONTENDFORRATHERTHANCOMPETEWITHOTHERS

Instead of competing with one another, we should be contending for one another—“Putyourselfaside,andhelpothersgetahead,”PaulwrotetothePhilippians.“Don’tbeobsessedwithgettingyourownadvantage.Forgetyourselveslongenoughtolendahelpinghand”(Phil.2:3-4MSG).

Worsestill,thosewhowelovemostusuallyfeelourfiercestwrath.Competitionthrivesinfamilydynamics—particularlywithsiblingrivalry.Wetendtotakeforgrantedthoseweholddearest.Wemustnotonlylearntoloveourneighborasourselves,butalsoourclosestfamilymembers. We should be especially grateful for and highly esteem those within our mostenduringandclosestspheres.

Ibelievethispoemby19thcenturyAmericanpoetEllaWheelerWilcoxbestsumsupthistimelessprinciple:

There’sonesadtruthinlifeI’vefoundwhilejourneyingeastandwest—Theonlyfolkswereallywoundarethosewelovethebest.

Weflatterthosewescarcelyknow—wepleasethefleetingguest,anddealmanyathoughtlessblowtothosewholoveusbest.

TocontendforoneanotherandlayourlivesdownforserviceinsteadofcompetitionisthelifestyleJesusChristmodeledforus.RightafterPaul’sexhortationforbelieverstobeselflessservants,hedescribesJesus’selflessattitude:

In your relationshipswithoneanother,have the samemindset asChrist Jesus:Who,beinginverynatureGod,didnotconsiderequalitywithGodsomethingtobeusedtohis own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of aservant,beingmade inhumanlikeness.Andbeingfound inappearanceasaman,hehumbledhimselfbybecomingobedient todeath—evendeathonacross! (Philippians2:5-8NIV)

Thefirstthingthatmaycometomindwhendiscussingthetopicofselflessnessisactsofservice. However, physically serving someone is not the epitome of stepping into Christ-likeness.One of themost expressivewayswe can displayChrist-like character iswhenwegenuinelycelebratethesuccessesofothersandrefusetodisplayahintofjealousywhentheyprosper.Competitionisoneoftheultimateby-productsofindependence.

“Weshouldbeespeciallygratefulforandhighlyesteemthosewithinourmostenduringandclosestspheres.”

Whenweseeourselvesaspartofacollectivewhole,ourneighbor’ssuccess isreallyour

success, and vice versa. We are family. Sadly, as I alluded to earlier, the family context isabsolutely riddledwith competition. Siblings, spouses, in-laws, and even entire generationscanexistinastateofcompetitivetension.Suchaclimateofcompetitionprovesthatsomeonesomewhere entered into a destructive soul attachment and ushered in a climate ofindependence.Remember, a soul attachment is not always caused by a person.We studiedseveralexchangesthatareresponsibleforcreatingsoultieswithpeople,systems,groups,andothersuchthings.Independenceisthefruitofsometypeofsoultiethatverywellmayhavebeen formedbyoneof theattachmentswereviewed in the first twoweeks.Eitherway, forcompetitiontocease,theattachmentneedstobebroken.

Oneof thekeystrategies tobreakingthese ties is tostartdeclaringandpracticingwhattheWord of God says concerning the very thingswe are strugglingwith. For example,weshould“Rejoicewiththosewhorejoice;mournwiththosewhomourn”(Rom.12:15NIV).Thisiswhatitlooksliketolovewellandinturn,defeatthosecompetitivetendencies.

Whensomeonehastheopportunitytosucceedinsomewayandasksforprayer,wouldyourfirstreactionbetoprayfortheirsuccess,orwoulditbetosecretlyhopefortheirfailure?Andiftheydosucceed,wouldyourfirstreactionbetorejoicewiththem?Howaboutifsomeonedoespoorly?Wouldyourheartfeelempathytowardthem?Thesearegoodquestionstocheckyourhearttoseeifyouaretrulycontendingforyourbrothersandsistersoutoflove.

HereisapartialdescriptionofwhatloveisinthefamouslovechapteroftheBible:

Lovenevergivesup.Lovecaresmoreforothersthanforself.Lovedoesn’twantwhatitdoesn’thave.Lovedoesn’t strut,doesn’thavea swelledhead,doesn’t force itself onothers,isn’talways“mefirst…”(1Corinthians13:4-5MSG).

Although thisdefinition is thepolaroppositeofwhatweseemodeled insociety, it is thewayoftheKingdom.Caringforothers,celebratingthem,andproactivelythinkingofwaystohelpthemsucceed,areexpressionsofgenuinelove.ThisishowtheworldwillbeattractedtoChristinus.

Itcanbeeasytocelebratewiththosewhosevictoriesarenotinanywayrelatedtous,butlet’sbringthisclosertohome.Whatifyourbrotherorsistergetsthepromotionatworkthatyouhavebeenwanting?Orwhatifsomeonegetshealedoftheverythingyouneedhealingin?Orwhatifsomeonegetstodothethingortakethevacationthatisonyourbucketlist?Wouldyougenuinelybehappyandexcited for them,orwouldyoube jealous?“Letusnotbecomeconceited,provokingandenvyingeachother”(Gal.5:26NIV).

POWERPOINT

LovingandservingourbrothersandsisterslikeChristmeanscontendingfortheirsuccessas well as celebrating when it manifests. Having jealousy in our hearts is an indication ofcompetition,anddoesnotpromoteunityandloveinthefamilyofGod.Itbindsoursoulsandkeepsusfromlivingmoreresiliently—ifnotindividually,thenasacommunityofbelievers.

Tomorrow,wearegoingtodiscussaverypracticalwaythatwecanstartcelebratingourbrothersandsistersbybelievingtheirvictoryisourvictory.

POWERTHOUGHT

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other(Romans12:10NLT).

Day15

WIN-WINVERSUSWIN-LOSE

Win-winseeslifeasacooperativearena,notacompetitiveone.Win-winisaframeofmind and heart that constantly seeksmutual benefit in all human interactions.Win-winmeansagreementsorsolutionsaremutuallybeneficialandsatisfying.Webothgettoeatthepie,andittastesprettydarngood!—StephenCovey

DISCIPLINE#15—CHOOSETOADDVALUETOEVERYRELATIONSHIP

Earlier thisweek, I introduced you to the concept of a symbiotic relationship. Iwant toconcludethisweekbyemphasizingthevaluethatsuchrelationshipsaddtoeachparticipatingparty.

Asymbioticrelationshipisevidencedbyamutualcommitmenttospiritualhealth,growth,and accelerated development. It is mutually valuable, empowering, trusting, authentic,transparent, and genuine. There are clear and responsible expectations, clear and healthyboundaries, personal responsibility for actions, behaviors, and thoughts; there is anundercurrent of loyalty, reliability, thoughtfulness, and respect for personhood, opinions,ideas, personal space, privacy, and confidentiality. Personal convictions are never violated;thereisanallowancefordifferingtemperaments,personalities,preferences,andhabits.

Symbiotic relationships are purpose-driven and pose challenges that lead to increasedmaturity, problem-solving skills, and a sharpening of focus. Developing a symbioticrelationshiptakesintentionaleffortandwork.

Whatgreaterthingistherefortwohumansoulsthantofeelthattheyarejoinedforlife—tostrengtheneachotherinalllabor,torestoneachotherinallsorrow,toministertoeachotherinallpain,tobeonewitheachotherinsilent,unspeakablememoriesatthemomentofthelastparting?—GeorgeEliot

WhenJesuswalkedtheearth,Hedemonstratedthepowerofthatkindofrelationship.HechosetwelvementowalkbyHissideforthedurationofHisearthboundlife.Heofferedallthat He had been prepared to do from the beginning of time in exchange for theircommitment.Inotherwords,inexchangefortheirloyalty,HewoulddedicateHimselftonotonlytheireternalsalvation,butalsotheirgrowth,development,destiny,purpose,andlifetimemission.Simplyput,Hewaspreparedtoaddvaluetotheirlives.Ahealthyrelationshipstartswith the intent of adding quality to that person’s life. It creates a transformative,mutuallybeneficialassociation.

Akeytomaintainingthesetypesofrelationshipsisviewingsituationswhereotherpeoplesucceed as win-win instead of win-lose for us. Jesus did not observe the successes of HisdisciplesasalossforHimordistractionfromHisspotlight.Quitetheopposite,Hepouredintothedisciplessothattheycould,inturn,becomeeverythingtheyweredestinedtobe.JesusistheultimateexampleofOnewhoprizedaddingvaluetoothers.

“Ahealthyrelationshipstartswithaddingqualitytoaperson’slife.”Thinkabout theattitudeofplayersonanathletic team.Whenoneperson scores for the

team, the whole team rejoices. The individual breakthrough becomes a corporate orcommunity-widebreakthrough.Thisishowweshouldthink—weareallmembersofthesameteamwhetheritbetheChurch,acommunity,acorporation,oracountry.

Somepeopleseemnaturallyinclinedtocompetetowin.Thisisnotnecessarilyabadthing,but thequestion iswhether theybelieve in order towin othersmust lose. That indicates amentalityof lack—anattitudeofscarcity thatembracesthebelief there isnotenoughtogoaround.ThetruthisthatGod,theAlmightyFather,possessesalltheresourcesintheworld,andtheseresourcesareenoughforallofus.

Imagine all of the resources of heaven being at your disposal. That is not fantasy; it isreality for every Kingdom citizen. In addition to the resources of heaven being readilyavailable,God’sheart isforyouandHewantsto lavishyouwithHis loveandkindness.Hislove extends toward you just as much as it does the next person. When someone elseexperiencesaprofoundbreakthroughor life-changingmiracle, itdoesnot indicatethatGodlovesthatpersonanymorethanyou.TaketimetoasktheLordwhatHisheartistowardyouthenexttimeyoufeelatwingeofjealousyoversomeoneelse’svictoryoraccomplishment.

What about when you sense other peoplemight be jealous toward you because of yoursuccess?Doesthismeanyoushouldrestrainyourstrengthandnotshine?No.Whileyoumaynotenjoybeingenviedinsteadofcelebrated,thisdoesnotmeanyoushouldwillfully“lose”sothat others can feel better about themselves. Thatwould be a perverted lose-win situationwhereyouchoosetolosetosomeonewhostruggleswithenvyorjealousy.Theproblemwiththisscenarioisthatsuchapersonwillfeeltheyhavewonbecausesomeoneelsehaslost.Thisisnotanattitudeanyoneshould legallyencourageotherstoperpetuate intheir lives.Whileyoucannotchangeanotherperson’sresponsetoyoursuccess,youcantransformyourbeliefsandbehaviorstocelebrateandaddvaluetoeveryrelationship.

Anotherwaytoaddvaluetoyourrelationshipsisbygiving.PaultalksaboutgivinginthefollowingpassagefromSecondCorinthians:

Atthepresenttimeyourplentywillsupplywhattheyneed,sothatinturntheirplentywillsupplywhatyouneed.Thegoalisequality,asitiswritten:“Theonewhogatheredmuchdidnothavetoomuch,andtheonewhogatheredlittledidnothavetoolittle”(2Corinthians8:14-15NIV).

Youcanseethatthegoal isnottobe ina lose-winorwin-losesituation. It is tocreateawin-win situationwhere everyone has enough. Paul is talking aboutmonetary resources ormaterial goods here, but we can apply it beyond that realm to include giving of our time,talents, and energy. Consider what you can give next time you are in a conversation andsomeonementionsaneedordesire.Yoursoulwillberefreshedbyhelpingyourteammember!

“Transformyourbeliefsandbehaviorstocelebrateandaddvaluetoeveryrelationship.”

POWERPOINT

Canyouimaginelivinginaworldwhereeveryoneissecureinwhotheyare,rootedinhowmuchtheyarevaluedbyGod—andarethereforeabletofullycelebratewhootherpeopleare,and howmuchGod honors them and their successes?While you cannot change how otherpeoplethink,youcanshiftyourownmindset.Onceyourmindsetchanges,yourbehaviorwillfollow. This is the fundamental key to reclaiming your soul and practicing amore resilientlifestyle.Asyou’veheardmesaysomanytimes,“Thinkforachange!”Changeyourthoughts;changeyourworld!

Nextweekisthefinalsegmentwherewereviewtherelationshipdynamicsandbehaviorsthatproducedestructivesoulattachments.

POWERTHOUGHT

Andifonemembersuffers,allthememberssufferwithit;orifonememberishonored,allthemembersrejoicewithit(1Corinthians12:26).

WeekFour

CONFRONTINGDYSFUNCTIONALRELATIONSHIPS

Oursoulssitcloseandsilentlywithin,Andtheirownwebsfromtheirownentrailsspin;Andwheneyesmeetfaroff,oursenseissuch,That,spider-like,wefeelthetenderesttouch.—JohnDryden

Aseachonehasreceivedagift,ministerittooneanother,asgoodstewardsofthemanifoldgraceofGod(1Peter4:10).

What isn’t a healthy relationship is a dysfunctional one. And it’s not only marriagerelationshipsthatcanbeunhealthy,butrelationshipswithfriends,coworkers,sometimesevenacquaintances,andmostdefinitelyyourfamilymembers.Asyouhavehearditsaid,“Youcanchooseyourfriends,butyoucan’tchooseyourfamily!”

Ideally,everyoneshouldberaisedinahealthyandstablefamilyenvironment,howevertheidyllicfamilyscenarioismoreoftentheexceptionthantherule—youwouldbehardpressedtofindafamilyvoidofanydysfunctionalcharacteristicsatall.

Thisweek,wearegoingtolookatfivedifferentdimensionsofdysfunctionalrelationships,trace some of their roots back to unhealthy soul attachments, and embrace the liberatingtruth that no matter what environment you grew up in, you don’t have to continue thedysfunction—the buck can stopwith you. Themanifold grace ofGod is readily available tohelppropelyouintoabetter,healthierexistence.

Day16

THEDYNAMICSOFDYSFUNCTION

Evennowtheaxeislaidtotherootofthetrees(Matthew3:10ESV).

DISCIPLINE#16—DEALWITHTHEROOTTOCHANGETHEFRUIT

Ifyousawthisweek’stitleandimmediatelythought,“Thisisforme!”Iwanttoencourageyouthatinsteadofofferingyousometypeofquickfixwhereyousimplymodifytheproblemathand, God might be inviting you to do some deeper reflection and examination. Why? Hewantsyoutounderstandthedynamicsofdysfunctionsothatyouarearmedwithknowledgethatempowersyoutoseverthesoulattachmentsthatbroughtyoutothisplace.Remember,yourlifedoesnothappenaccidently.Inthesameway,dysfunctionalrelationshipsdonotjustappearinourliveswithoutareason.

“Everythingbeginswitharoot.”Everythingbeginswitharoot.JohntheBaptistrecognizedthisinMatthew3:10whenhe

usedthewordpictureofexaminingatree’sfruit.Ifthetreewasnotbearinggoodfruit,thenitneededtobecutdownatitsrootusinganaxe.Thesameistruefortherootsofdysfunctionalrelationships in our lives. In our case, the “roots” are what I am calling the dynamics ofdysfunction.

There are all sorts of family dynamics that lead to dysfunctional relationships, butprimarily,thedysfunctionbeginsinthemarriagerelationshipandinfluenceshowacouplewillengageinparenting.

Dysfunctional parenting is characterized by enmeshment and inordinate attachments—including addictions and unhealthy habits and behaviors of all kinds. Dysfunctionalrelationship patterns in families perpetuate the development of dysfunctional grown-ups.Dysfunctionalpeoplehaveatendencytogravitatetootherdysfunctionalpeople.

Thisiswhyitissoimportantforustoresistthetemptationofquickfixes.Wecantryanddealwiththeaddictionsandunhealthybehaviors,butiftheyaresimplytheresultorfruitofadysfunctional root system, dysfunctional patterns will continue to emerge—just in differentways.

Thecommonrootforallofusischildhood.Thisiswheremostofthedysfunctionisbirthed,andthisistheplacewhereweneedtocommenceself-reflection.

Ideally, children ought to grow up in a healthy family environment that helps them feelworthwhileandvalued. In this typeofenvironment they learn that their feelingsandneedsareimportant,theiridentityisdistinctandtreasured,andthattheirpersonalcharacteristicsare praiseworthy. However, when the family unit fails to provide for the emotional andphysicalneedsoftheirchildren,theseyoungstersacquirepoorlifeskills,withweaknessesincommunication, problem solving, resource management, and social competence that willaffectfuturerelationshipsifnotcorrectedsomewherealongtheway.

Addictivebehavior,emotionalinstability,domesticviolence,abuse,molestation,incest,andinfidelity create deviant, perverted soul ties. The black sheep syndrome among children,issues of rejection, the failure to bond, sibling rivalry, role reversal, gender confusion, andpremature or inappropriate sexual activity are manifestations of an unhealthy familyenvironment.

Most dysfunction is multigenerational. One or both parents will have been exposed tophysical and domestic violence, have been abandoned physically or emotionally, andexperiencedparentaldetachmentorrigidity,orthestrictenforcementofinflexiblerolesandrules. Their parents will have failed to provide for their physical, emotional, financial,educational, or social needs. Growing up they will have experienced parent-child rolereversals—orsurrogateparenting,suchasprotectinganotherparentfromabuse,negotiating

onbehalfofaparent,or lyingonbehalfofoneparent toalleviate furtherabuseorconflictfromtheother.

If you have been raised in an unhealthy family environment, you will have been deeplyaffectedbythatatmosphere.Thiswillbeevidencedbyexcessiveattention-seekingbehavior,lying,misrepresentation and exaggeration of the truth, constant power struggles, a fear ofrejection,indifference,escapism,patternsofsubstanceabuse,mistrust,failuretoconnectinrelationships, sexual dysfunctions, difficulty in loving and accepting self and body,abandonmentissues,boundaryissues,emotionalnumbing,panicattacks,flashbacks,anxietyattacks,feelingsoflosingit,feelingsofworthlessness,poorself-image,feelingdirty,ashamed,oroppressed—ortheuseofmanipulativeorcontrollingbehaviors,suchaswitchcraftorotherocculttactics.Othersymptomsincludenotbeingabletotrustothers,openlysharefeelings,orfollow through with commitments, as well as continual blame shifting, not wanting to talkabout things that are unpleasant, general apathy and dissatisfaction with life, feelings ofunhappiness,resentment,frustration,anddespair.

Therearesixprimaryrolesassumedbymembersofadysfunctionalfamily.

1. Thesurrogateparent assumes responsibility for thewelfareof siblingsaswell asparents.

2. Thecomedianassumesresponsibilityfortheemotionalclimateofthehomebyusingcomicrelief.

3. Theheroisanoverachieverwhoassumestheroleofmakingsurethefamilylooks“normal”bybeingacademicallyandfinanciallysuccessful.

4. Theblacksheep rebelsbyengaging inself-destructivebehaviors,suchasabusingdrugsoralcohol,sexualpromiscuity,stealing,andsoon.

5. Thescapegoatcopesbytakingtheblameforwhateveriswrong.

6. Thepatientdistractsthefamilyfromcrisissituationsby“requiring”compassionatecarefortheirpsychosomaticillnesses,mishaps,andaccidents.

Sadly, children who deal with these issues and create unhealthy soul attachments arecompletely insulated in a culture of dysfunction. It is unfortunate that it takesmost peoplemanyyears,ifnotdecades,toidentifythedysfunction,evaluateitsinappropriateness,assessthedamage,andmoveforward inbreakingtheattachments thatwerecreatedduringthoseformativeyears.

POWERPOINT

Thedynamicsof relationaldysfunctionbegin in childhood.This isundeniably the reasonthatmost counselors, therapists, andpsychiatrists beginwith talking about the past ratherthan immediately addressing the present. They recognize the power of dysfunctional rootsystemsthatare,insomeway,responsibleforthepresentcondition.

Forourstudy,weneedtoidentifysomeofthemalignantsoulattachmentsthatarecreated—most often, in our youth—and that must be broken for us to experience freedom andresiliencyinlife.

POWERTHOUGHT

Yourvisionwillbecomeclearonlywhenyoucanlookintoyourownheart.Wholooksoutsidedreams;wholooksinsideawakens.—CarlJung

Day17

THEDE-MOTIVATOROFSHAME

BecausetheSovereignLordhelpsme,Iwillnotbedisgraced.Therefore,Ihavesetmyfacelikeastone,determinedtodohiswill.AndIknowthatIwillnotbeputtoshame(Isaiah50:7NLT).

DISCIPLINE#17—FOCUSONISSUES,NOTINDIVIDUALS

Dysfunctionalfamiliesresistpositiveorstrength-basedchangeinfamilymembersbecausethey want to avoid psychological disequilibrium. They use blame, fear, manipulation,shunning,threatening,andisolationtocontrolbehavior.Ratherthanpinpointinganddealingwiththeproblem,onepersonmightmakeothersfeelasthoughtheyaretheproblem.Thisisthe breeding ground for shame, and the continued enabling of dysfunctional relationalbehavior.

Interactionswithin these typesof familiesareshamebased—andshame issuchastrongemotion,thatwetendtocutourselvesofffromwhateverhascausedit.Thisiswhymemoriesthatbringshameareoftenrepressedorweunconsciouslyavoidthemwithoutevenrealizingit.Ourshamecontinuesaswerefusetoacknowledgeit,becauseweareunwillingtoactuallyconfrontthememorywhichcreatedtheshamefulsoulattachmenttobeginwith.

“Shameissuchastrongemotion,thatwetendtocutourselvesofffromwhateverhascausedit.”

The problem with shame is that it creates significant division in our relationships—particularly family units. Those who use shame to manipulate other family members areeffectivelyisolatingthemselvesfromthosetheyclaimtolove.Inthesamewaythatwerepressmemoriesthathaveshameattachedtothem,wedistanceourselvesfrompeoplewhoreleasedshameintoourlives.Ultimately,thisleadstostrainedrelationshipsacrosstheboard.

Shameisactuallytheresultofanunhealthysoulattachment.How?Whenshameisusedasatooltomotivatechange,itdoesnotendupproducinglastingpositiveeffects.Itmayprovidefor some temporary adjustment, but ultimately, thewords, actions, and attitudes that carryshamecreateharmfulsoulattachmentsinourlives.Shameisreleasedintoourlivesthroughthesecatalysts,andjustaspositiveaffirmationandencouragementbecomepillarsofstrengthforus,shamebecomesatoolofdestructionthateatsawayatourverysouls.Itenslavesanddestroysifnotdealtwith.Ifwedonotidentifyandrejectitforwhatitis,wewillembraceit,andcommencealongroadoflivingwithaviciousparasiteofthesoul.

“Just as positive affirmation and encouragement become pillars ofstrengthfor,shameisatoolofdestructionthateatsawayatoursouls.”

Atmospheresinthehomewhereshameisusedastheprimarysourceofmotivationarearesult of dysfunctional parents who suffer with their own shame. They are emotionallyunhealthyandimbalanced,andtherefore,havenosoundinsightonhowtoactuallydealwiththe issuesof lifeoutsideof tearingothersdown. Inmanycases,weuse shamebecausewethinkthatbydisgracingtheotherperson,wewillmotivatethemtofixtheissue.Welinkthepersontotheissue,andthiscommunicates—loudandclear—that“youaretheissue.Youarethe problem.” This is why shame is a de-motivator, producing the exact opposite of itsintention.Peopleuseshame invainhopethat itwill illicitchange insomeoneelse,when infact,itde-motivatesanddestroys.

Often, parents such as those listed above suffer from some kind of addiction disorder;addiction to drugs, alcohol, food, pornography, promiscuity, gambling, shopping, media,sports,entertainment,overworkingor“workaholism,”andsooncancausethemtobesociallyhandicapped,financiallyirresponsible,andpsychologicallyimpaired.

Parents whose souls are bound by various types of addictions are prone to exhibitemotional outbursts; they are unreliable and unpredictable; they are out of touch withthemselves, their feelings,andtheir impactonothers,notrecognizingwhat theirresponsesrelease.Theirsensesaredulledtothedysfunctionalpatternsinwhichtheywereraised,andhowtheirownattitudesandbehaviorscontributetocontinuingthatlegacy.

Dysfunctional relationships destroy the true value of self, lower self-esteem, and distortself-image.Thesetypesofrelationshipsareshallow,shaming,unsanctified,self-centered,self-protective,spiteful,andcarnal.

ExampleofKingSaulandDavidSaul was addicted to approval, which ultimately was responsible for destroying his

relationship with David. Hearing the celebratory songs that announced “Saul has slain histhousands,andDavidhistenthousands!”(1Sam.18:7)pushedhimovertheedge.Thinkofallthat transpired between Saul and David. Saul was overtaken with a consuming desire toshameanddestroyaboyheoncelovedandwhohadgrownupinhishome,whowasnowamanmarried to his daughter, and who was like a brother to his son, Jonathan. Saul eventurnedonhisownsonbecauseofit:

SaulboiledwithrageatJonathan.“Youstupidsonofawhore!”hesworeathim.“DoyouthinkIdon’tknowthatyouwanthimtobekinginyourplace,shamingyourselfandyourmother?AslongasthatsonofJesseisalive,you’llneverbeking.NowgoandgethimsoIcankillhim!”“Butwhyshouldhebeputtodeath?”Jonathanaskedhisfather.“Whathashedone?”ThenSaulhurledhisspearatJonathan, intendingtokillhim (1Samuel20:30-33NLT).

Beyondhisapprovaladdiction,Saulexhibitedmanyoftheclassicsymptomsofhavingbeenraised inadysfunctional family.Becauseofhisown insecurities,hewanted tosuppress thesuccessofanyonearoundhim.Hissenseofpersonalpowercamefromdisempoweringothers,regardlessofhowmuchtheylovedhimorweredevotedtoservinghim.DavidalwaysactedinSaul’sbehalf,tohonorhimandbringhimglory,yetSaulcontinuedtolashoutathimandbeabusive. David was forced to run for his life, though at the same time he refused to doanythingotherthanhonorhisking.David’ssoulwastiedtoSaul’sasmuchasitwastiedtoJonathan’s, only it was an unhealthy soul tie based in Saul’s fear and shame rather thanDavid’sloveandrespect.

POWERPOINT

Shameisadeadlytoolofmanipulation.Aswehavejustread,whenshameisreleaseduponsomeonethroughwordsoractions,itknitsitselftotheirsoullikeaparasite.Aslongasitisnot addressed, it continues to feed on emotion, self-esteem,worth, value, identity, etc. Theproblem is, the cycle of shame continues to be enabled, as most children are not able toidentifythisrootofdysfunction,letalonecallitoutinthosewhoarepracticingthisbehavior.Thenextgenerationcontinuestofallpreytodysfunctionalparentswhoneveraddressedtheirpersonal,shame-producingsoulattachments.Thesetiesmustbebroken—ifnotforoursakes,forthesakeofourchildrenandfuturegenerations.

Ofallthecausesandsymptomsofdysfunctionalrelationships,therearethreemaintypesthatcauseunhealthysoulties.Inthedaystocome,Iwillbrieflyintroducetheunhealthytiesthatresultfromabroadspectrumofdysfunctionalrelationships.

POWERTHOUGHT

Whatyourepresswillmakeyouregress.—MichaelH.Ballard

Day18

WHENHELPINGYOUISHURTINGME

The righteous shouldchoosehis friendscarefully, for thewayof thewicked leadsthemastray(Proverbs12:26).

DISCIPLINE#18—RESISTYIELDINGTOTHECONTROLOFOTHERS

Whenhelpingyouishurtingmesumsupthetypeofrelationshipwe’llbeaddressingtoday.Itisobservedintwodifferentrelationalexpressions—codependenceandparasitic.

Theserelationshipstypicallyhaveonepersonwhorelatestotheotherprimarilybymakingdemands,whiletheotherrelatesprimarilybymeetingthosedemands.Thepersonmakingthedemands is benefitted, while the person satisfying these demands on a consistent basis isbeingimprisonedinaruthlesscycleofsoulattachment.Thisistheessenceofcodependence.

CodependentRelationshipsCodependent relationships are made up of emotionally, socially, or psychologically

handicapped individuals. Codependence is commonly defined as a “set of maladaptivecompulsivebehaviorslearnedbyfamilymembersinordertosurvivewithinafamilyunitthatisexperiencinggreatemotionalpainandstress.”1

Codependencewasatermoriginallycoinedwhenpsychologistswerestudyingtheeffectsof alcoholics on their families. It was discovered that patterns of codependence developedwherethe“crisismanager”orcaregiverwasasdependentuponbeingneededandprovidingcareasthealcoholicwasonreceivingthatcare.Insomecases,thevictimlearnstoneedthevictimizerinordertofeelvalidated.

AccordingtotheNationalMentalHealthAssociation,“Codependencyisalearnedbehaviorthat canbepasseddown fromonegeneration toanother. It is anemotionalandbehavioralcondition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually-satisfyingrelationship.”

Interestingly,thisalsorepresentswhatisknownasrelationshipaddictionbecause“peoplewith codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionallydestructive, and/or abusive.”2 It was discovered that wherever there was an imbalance inrelationship (for example where one person exerted excess control over another, madeexcessive demands, or demonstrated excessive needs—from domestic abuse to drugaddiction),therewerepatternsofcodependency.

“Codependencykeepsonepersonintheroleofvictimorsuffererandtheotherasproblemsolverorreliefprovider.”

You could say codependent relationships appear wherever there is obvious disparity independency. As opposed to interdependent relationships, in which each individual is fullyindependentwhileatthesametimemutuallyreliant—codependencykeepsonepersonintherole of victim or sufferer and the other as problem solver or relief provider. Codependentpeople have a greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who areunreliable, emotionally unavailable, needy, or who set themselves up for continued failure.Theyareunlikelytogetinvolvedwithpeoplewhohavehealthyboundaries,copingskills,andbehaviors.Thisiswhyitissocommontoseeabusedchildrengrowupandmarryabusers,orchildren of alcoholics grow up to marry people with addictions. The multigenerationalrelationshippatterns—andsubsequentsoulattachments—aretremendouslydifficulttobreakwithoutdivineintervention.

ParasiticRelationships

Biologicallyspeaking,aparasite isanorganismthatgrows, feeds,and isshelteredonorwithin a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host. Sociallyspeaking, these are individuals who take advantage of the generosity of others withoutofferinganythingusefulinreturn.Wewouldcallsuchapersonasycophant;onewhoflattersthe rich—or thosewho theyperceive as beingprosperous, powerful, and influential—in thehopeofgainingsomethingfromthem.

Parasiticrelationshipsareonlybeneficialtotheonewhoactsasa“leech”ora“parasite,”livingoffof theotherperson’s resources—fromtheirmoneyand intellect to theiremotionaland spiritual energy. They bring nothing to the relationship except their needs,wants, andselfishambitions.Likevampires,theysucktheverylifeoutoftheirvictims.Likepariah,theypreyoffthosetheyareinrelationshipwith—theyarepredatory,cunning,anddeceptive.

Parasiticpeoplefocussolelyontheirownwantsanddesires.Theyarenotneedyasmuchas they are greedy. They do not have the will or self-respect to adjust to the demands ofinterpersonalrelationshipsandthestressinvolvedindailyliving.Theyliveoffotherpeople’sstrengths,reputations,money,vision,goals,family,resources,time,andbrainpower.Parasiticrelationshipsresultinsoulattachmentsbecausethe“host”isdrawnintotheparasite’slifebythe sad stories they tell, the needs they feign, and the mind games they play—completelyunaware they are being used andmanipulated. Parasitic relationships are characterized byhiddenagendas,obscuremotives,blameshifting(parasite),unclearboundaries(host),lackofpersonal responsibility (parasite), violation of convictions and values (host),under/unemployment(parasite),emotionalbankruptcy(host),chroniccomplaining(parasite),debt(host),crisis(parasite),andspiritualdepletion(host).

“Parasiticpeople focus solely on their ownwants anddesires.Theyarenotneedyasmuchastheyaregreedy.”

Whether the relationship is codependent or parasitic, there is commonality between thetwo. Inbothcases, there issomeonewho isexercisingcontrol,and there isanotherpersonwho is yielding to the control. The reason people yield to these types of unhealthyrelationshipsisbecause,somewherealongtheline,anunhealthysoultiewascreatedbetweenthevictimandthecontroller—betweenthehostandtheparasite.

Relationshipslikethesetakeyears,evendecadestodevelop,soIdonotwanttosuggestanoverly simplified quick fix. That said, the goal of this study is to help you move toward aresilient lifestyle. However, to live in that place of freedom and victory, it is essential toidentifyandbreakthecyclesthathaveimprisonedyou.Thisisacriticalsteptoexperiencingsustainedbreakthroughinyourlife.

POWERPOINT

Remember,Iamnotinterestedinseeingyouenjoyonlyameasureofseasonalfreedom,joy,andblessing.Thegoalisnotforyoutoreclaimyoursoulonlytoloseitagainfourweeksdowntheroadbydevelopingsomeotherharmfulsoultie.Weareafteranewwayofliving—resilientliving—that is theproductofconfrontingsomehard issuesandmakingchoices todealwiththemhead-on.God’swill isforyoutolivealifestyleoffreedomthatultimatelyreleasesthissamefreedomtoothers.

POWERTHOUGHT

Nobodycanhurtmewithoutmypermission.—MahatmaGandhi

Day19

SPIRITUALDIMENSIONSOFRELATIONSHIPS

Thethiefcomesonlytostealandkillanddestroy(John10:10ESV).

DISCIPLINE#19—DISCERNTHESPIRITUALRAMIFICATIONSOFALLYOURRELATIONSHIPS

Eventhoughthethirdtypeofsoultiewearediscussingisnotparticularlypopularinthisdayandage,itisneverthelessrealandhighlyrelevanttooureverydaylives.Diabolicalsoultiescauseenmeshmentofemotions,will,thoughts,perceptions,intentions,

andattitudesbetweenpeople,things,entities,etc.LookwhathappenedtoAdamandEveintheGarden.Ashortencounterwithsatan—abriefinteractionandmomentaryacquiescencetoademonicsuggestion—pulledthemoutoftheidyllicstateofpeaceandprosperityintosinandsurvivalbythesweatoftheirbrows.CainwasdrawnoutofthepresenceoftheLordbecauseofanattachmentwithanenviousspirit.Theresult?Hebecamethefirstmurderer.

Other biblical examples include Solomon’s association with foreign gods through thewomenhemarried—hewentasfarasbuildingthemaltars:

Solomonbuiltahighplace forChemosh theabominationofMoab,on thehill that iseastofJerusalem,andforMolechtheabominationofthepeopleofAmmon.Andhedidlikewise forallhis foreignwives,whoburned incenseandsacrificed to theirgods (1Kings11:7-8).

AndlookatwhathappenedtomightySampsonwhenhetiedhissoultoDelilah—helosthisstrength,hissight,andfinallyhislife.SampsonmusthavecriedoutasDaviddid:

Fortheenemyhaspersecutedmysoul;hehascrushedmylifetotheground;hehasmademedwellindarkness,likethosewhohavelongbeendead(Psalm143:3).

Satan,theenemyofyoursoul,“doesnotcomeexcepttosteal,andtokill,andtodestroy”(John10:10).Heistheauthorofdeath—thespiritofabortion.

AdiabolicalrelationshipwillcauseyoutoaborttheplansandpurposesGodhasputinyourheartandmind.AstheenemydidwithAdamandEve,sowillhetrytodowithyou—hewillseduceyouaway fromGod’sbest intention foryour life—away fromtherealmof life to therealmofdeath.Whenyouenterarelationshipwherethespiritofdeathispresent,youcreatesoultieswiththatspirit—likewise,whenyouparticipateinabortion,youcreatesoultieswiththe spirit of death. It is perpetuated through all types of abortive activities, such asuncompletedassignments,unfulfilleddreams,andunrealizedpotential.Youopenyourselfuptoothertypesofmurderousactivitiessuchascharacterassassination, financial famine,andprofessionalsuicide.

It isevenpossible toexperiencethesetypesofrelationshipswith familymembers. Ifourfamilieshavegiventhemselvesovertodarkness,wedonothavetoconsenttotheirchoices.Weneedtobediscerninginhowclosewebecomewithsuchpeoplewhohavegrantedsatanrightofpassageintheirlives.Remember,theenemyisonamissiontosteal,kill,anddestroy.HisagendaistheabsoluteabortionofeverythingGodwantstobirthintotheplanet—andintoyourlife.

TheBibleisveryclearabouthowGodviewsabortionandtheactivitiesthatsurroundit.InthebookofGenesis,awomannamedTamarwasmarriedtoafirstbornsonwho“waswickedinthesightoftheLord,andtheLordkilledhim”(Gen.38:7).AswasJewishcustom,shewasgiven as awife to the younger brother to bear an heir for the older brother.However, thebrother“knew that theheirwouldnot behis; and it came to pass,whenhewent in to hisbrother’swife,thatheemittedontheground,lestheshouldgiveanheirtohisbrother.Andthe thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also” (Gen. 38:9-10).Every seed isprecious in the sightof theLord.Wasted seeddeprives futuregenerationsofgreatleaders,doctors,lawyers,artists,spouses,parents,andsoon.

InExodus,Godrewardedthemidwiveswhosavedthemalebabiesfrombeingdrownedat

birthperPharaoh’sorders:“ButthemidwivesfearedGod,anddidnotdoasthekingofEgyptcommanded them, but saved themale children alive. And so it was, because themidwivesfearedGod,thatHeprovidedhouseholdsforthem” (Exod.1:17,21).If itweren’t forabravemotherpreservingthelifeofherson,Moses,theremayneverhavebeenadelivererborntothechildrenofIsrael.

Evenhere,wewitnessadiabolicalplot todestroy life—toterminatetheunborn.Satan isterrifiedof theunborn, frompeople topotential.He recognizes thepotential thatexists foreveryunbornhumanbeing,alongwitheveryunbornplan,purpose,andpromiseinyourlife.

Thisistheoverarchingpurposefordiabolicalrelationships.Theyareplansoftheevilonetoinfiltrateanddestroyyourlife.WecannotpermitthisifwearegoingtobirththeplansandpurposesGodhasordainedforus.

“Birth and fulfillment are a direct assault upon the advancement ofdarknessintheearth.”

Birthandfulfillmentareadirectassaultupontheadvancementofdarkness intheearth.Thinkaboutit.Asnewlifeisbirthed,thatnewsoulbrimswiththepotentialtochangehistory.Even in your life, there is so much within you just waiting to be birthed. The potential isabsolutelyenormous.

Remember, you have the ability to say “Yes” or “No” to the enemy. Toomany of us say“Yes,”notbecauseweactuallywanttogivehimaplaceinourlives,butbecausewedonotrecognize how dangerous diabolical soul attachments are. We are not discerning when itcomes to evaluating whether or not a relationship has the potential to bring us into thecaptivityofdarknessorproducespiritualedification.

POWERPOINT

Diabolical attachments have one assignment for your life—death. Abortion is not justperformeduponunbornchildren—ittakesplaceeverydayaswegivesatantheopportunitytoinvadeourlivesandterminatethedreams,plans,andfuturesthatGodordainedfromtheverybeginning.

Eventhoughitdoesnotinvolveaphysicaldeath,satan’sstrategyistogetyouenmeshedinthesediabolicalsoultiessothatheisabletogainsometypeoflegalaccessorentryintoyourlife. He cannot break your door down, so he has mastered the art of deception. You can,however,discernthesetypesofrelationships,movetowardbreakingtheseattachments,andlivealifethatdeclaresa“No”totheassaultsoftheenemy.

POWERTHOUGHT

Yellaloudnotothedevilandwatchhimscamper(James4:7MSG).

Day20

KEEPWATCH!

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like aroaringlion,lookingforsomeonetodevour(1Peter5:8NLT).

DISCIPLINE#20—NEVERLETYOURGUARDDOWN

Todayrepresentsanimportantshift inourstudy.It isthelastdaywewillbefocusingonsomeoftheidentifyingfactorsofsoultiesandattachments.Forthelasttwentydays,wehavebeenlookingatthevariousexchangesandrelationshipsthatproducesoulattachments.Ihavegiven you daily disciplines and strategies for how to identify and confront some of thesefactors; but today, we are getting ready to take an important turn in our journey—fromidentifyingsoultiestofocusingonhowtobreakthem.

Yesterday, we examined what is perhaps the most sinister of all soul attachments—relationships that open the door to demonic infiltration in your life. Now that we havedescribedwhatthesetypesofrelationshipslooklike,andwhattheenemy’spurposeforthemis,itisimportantthatwelearnhowtokeepwatchforsuchthings.

Iendedyesterdayexhortingthosewhohaveexperienced,orareexperiencing,thesetypesofsoultiestosay“No”totheenemyandcanceltheattachment.Justbecauseyouhavecarrieda relationship with you for a season or even a lifetime, does not mean you need to moveforward into your next season of life beaten down, hindered, and spiritually assaulted by adiabolicalattachment.Youcanmoveforwardfreeandnevergoback.

Today,Iamaddressingadifferentaudience.Iwanttoencouragethefree.Whetheryoujustprayedtogetfreefromtheseattachments,orhavebeenfreeforawhile,onthismonumentaldayIwanttoleaveyouwithawordofcaution—keepadiligenteyeopen,astheenemywilldoanythinghecantostartthecyclealloveragain.Evenifyouhaveneverexperiencedadeeplydysfunctionalrelationship,heiseverlookingforahousethatisswept,clean,andputinorder.

InMatthew12:43-44,Jesusdescribesthisphenomena.

Whenanuncleanspiritgoesoutofaman,hegoes throughdryplaces, seekingrest,andfindsnone.Thenhesays,‘IwillreturntomyhousefromwhichIcame.’Andwhenhecomes,hefindsitempty,swept,andputinorder.

Theuncleanspiritidentifiedapotentialresidenceinthehousethatwas“putinorder”—theveryplacefromwhichthespiritwasexpelledprovedtobeapotentialhouseofhabitationinthefuture.Howisthispossible?Italldependsonwhatthepersondoeswhoissetfreefromthespiritinthefirstplace.

IntheAmplifiedBible,theword“unoccupied”isaddedtothelistoftermsusedtodescribethetypeofhousetheevilspiritwaslookingtorepossess.Itisnotgoodenoughforustogetfree—the key is staying free by replacing unhealthy soul attachments with the tools anddisciplineswehavebeenlearningabout.Afterall,youmayhavenevertrulydealtwithatoxicsoulattachment—oryouhaveanunoccupiedhousethatyoursoul’senemywantstotakeupresidence in. All of us need to keep our spiritual eyes open. This takes place throughdiscernment,whichIwillreturntoinamoment.

“Wemustkeepourspiritualeyesopen.”Idonotwanttosimplyarmyoutoreceivevictoryinaseasonorforamoment;Iwantyou

todestroythecyclesinyourlifethattheenemyhasperpetuated.Overthenexttwentydays,youwill identifyseveralessentialkeys thatwillhelpyouguard thehouseofyoursoul fromeveryattachmentandtiethatwouldattempttoworkitswayintoyourlifeandwreakhavoc.Thefirststep,however,iskeepingasharplookoutforalloftheexchangesandrelationshipsthat would threaten to recapture and ensnare your soul. This comes through developing

discernment—particularlyinregardtopeopleandtherelationshipsyouengagein.Nehemiah discerned themotives of Sanballat and Tobiahwhowanted to keep him from

rebuildingthewallaroundJerusalem.Theirintentwastocausehimtoaborttheprojectandkillhimintheprocess.Nehemiahdidnotallowthemtointimidateordeterhim.Evenafterthewallhadbeenfinished,Nehemiahwastednotimeclearingawayanywhowouldseektocreatesoulattachmentswith thosealliedwith the spirit ofdeath.When the sonof thehighpriestmarriedadaughterofSanballat,Nehemiahbanishedhimfromhispresence(seeNeh.13:28).

“Keepdiligentwatchoveryoursoulbykeepingdiligentwatchoveryourrelationships.”

Keepdiligentwatchoveryoursoulbykeepingdiligentwatchoveryourrelationships.RalphWaldoEmersonisfamousforhavingsaid,“Amanisknownbythecompanyhekeeps,”butitwasWilliamLaw,whoacenturyearlierwroteinhisfamousbookChristianPerfection(1726),“Amanisknownbyhiscompanions.”

PerhapsthisiswhyPaulwarnedtheCorinthians“nottokeepcompanywithanyonenamedabrother,whoissexuallyimmoral,orcovetous,oranidolater,orareviler,oradrunkard,oranextortioner—noteventoeatwithsuchaperson”(1Cor.5:11).

YetevenbeforethebirthofChrist,wisdomaseternalasthiswasspokenwheninthe5thcenturyB.C.theancientphilosopher,Euripides,stated,“Everymanislikethecompanyheiswonttokeep.”Wordswewoulddowelltoliveby.

POWERPOINT

Your life is defined by the nature of your associations and attachments.When it comesdowntoit,thehealthofyoursoulisdeterminedbythehealthofyourrelationships.Guardingyour heart, from which “flow the springs of life” (Prov. 4:23 ESV), is largely a process ofkeeping watch over your personal relations—making sure you are clear from anycodependent,parasitic,ordiabolicrelationshipsbystayingalertanddiligenttothosewhoaretryingtokeepyoufromrebuilding“thedesertedruinsofyourcities” so thatyouwould“beknownasarebuilderofwallsandarestorerofhomes”(Isa.58:12NLT).

POWERTHOUGHT

Thekeyistokeepcompanyonlywithpeoplewhoupliftyou,whosepresencecallsforthyourbest.—Epictetus

WeekFive

BREAKINGTHECYCLE

Ineveryone’slife,atsometime,ourinnerfiregoesout.Itisthenburstintoflameby an encounter with another human being.We should all be thankful for thosepeoplewhorekindletheinnerspirit.—AlbertSchweitzer

God’sSpiritisonme;he’schosenmetopreachtheMessageofgoodnewstothepoor,sentmetoannouncepardontoprisonersandrecoveryofsighttotheblind,tosettheburdenedandbatteredfree…(Luke4:18MSG).

Now thatwehave identifiedmanyof the inroads thatmakeyouvulnerable todestructivetypesofsoulties,wearepositionedtofocusattentiononbecomingfreeandsettingupsomeroadblocks for the future.Thisweekwewill coverpractical stepsyoucan take forbuildingresiliencyintoyourlife.

Remember,thequick-fixrouteisnotourdesiredtravelplan.Idonotwanttosetyouuptoachievetemporaryvictory inonearea,only foryouto findyourselfboundandoppressed inanother. Our objective here is to completely break the cycles that keep you from movingforwardintoalifeoffreedomandfulfillment.

Once these destructive patterns are reversed, you will need to intentionally replace oldways of thinking and behaving with new ones, as well as build some new, positiverelationships.Overthenext fivedays, Iwilldescribe fivepursuits thatyoumustembrace ifyou want to move beyond temporary deliverance into a lifestyle of stability and resiliency.Rather than call these keys, secrets, tips, or strategies, I believe the term pursuits moreclearlyindicatestheconcept;theimplicationisthatyouwillexperiencetransformationnottothedegreethatyouwantordesireit,buttothedegreethatyouintentionallygoafterit.

“Youwill experience transformationnot to thedegree that youwant ordesireit,buttothedegreethatyouintentionallygoafterit.”

Thenextfivedaysarecritical,astheyrepresentasignificanttransitionpointinourstudy.We aremoving from information to transformation. The first four weekswere purposed toinform you about the different inroads that soul attachments use to pollute our lives andrelationships.We became acquaintedwith some of the different soul ties—we learned howtheymanifestandcaughtaglimpseoftheemotionalchaostheybringintoeveryarenatheycontaminate.

Nowitistimewetookthatinformationanduseditasaweapontobreakthecycle.Weareinformed.Ignorancehasbeenconfronted.Lighthasbeencastupondarkareas.Let’stakethenext fivedaysandmove towarda complete soul overhaul.Wewill discuss the fivepursuitsthat are designed to help you cultivate a lifestyle of freedom from former soul ties andattachments.Itisnotenoughtoacknowledgethemoreventosystematicallyseverthem;weareidentifyinganddiscussingthisnextseriesofpursuitsinordertoreinventyourlifeonceitbecomesvoidoftheseentanglements.

Remember,theenemyislookingforavacanthouse.Thisiswhysomanypeopleexperiencemeasures or seasons of freedom, but ultimately become enslaved again to destructive soulattachments. They legitimately tasted freedom, but did not take the necessary steps todevelopalifestylethatsupportscontinuedvictoryineveryarea.

Letthejourneycontinue!

Day21

PURSUEDESTINY-DEFININGMOMENTS

Godhasalreadylineduptherightbreaks,therightpeople,theanswersyouneed.—JoelOsteen

DISCIPLINE#21—SEEKLIFE-GIVINGRELATIONSHIPS

Destiny-definingmomentsarethoseliberatinginteractionsbirthedoutofrelationshipswithotherpeople,andalsothroughpersonalencounterswithChrist.AswediscussedbackinWeek3,Goddidnotdesignyouandmetobeindependent,butrather,interdependentwiththeBodyof Christ. Our relationships are critical to fulfilling our destinies, and this is why it isabsolutelyessentialforourrelationshipstobehealthy.

Althoughrelationshipsareoneoftheprimaryvehiclesthroughwhichsoultiesareformed,they are also a dynamic catalyst through which those ties can be broken. One meeting,conversation,orencountercanlaunchyourlifeonacompletelydifferenttrajectory.

AuthorJillKoenigdescribesdestinyencountersas“specificlife-definingmoments”whenatransformationor“radicalshiftoccursinsideaperson”tosuchanextentthattheyareneverthe sameagain. “Yourdefiningmomentsmayoccuruponmeetingapivotal person,”writesKoenig—“suchasamentororwhenyoulockeyeswithyoursoulmateoryourspouseforthefirsttime.”

OnetouchfromGodthroughanotherpersoncantransformdestructivemindsetsyoudidn’teven know you had. So how canwe set ourselves up for trulymeaningful destiny-definingmoments?

ThefirstwayistoprayandaskGodtoleadyou.“Askanditwillbegiventoyou”(Matt.7:7NIV). It is God’s pleasure to connect you with people who can take you deeper in yourrelationshipwithHim,andasaresult,pushyoufurthertowardfulfillingyourdestiny.ActivelylistentohearHisvoiceinyourday-to-dayactivities.AsktheHolySpirittodirectwhereyoushouldgoandatwhattime.Thisinvolvesanintersectionofinnate,God-givenwisdom,aswellassensitivitytothesupernaturaldirectionoftheSpirit.Wecannotsimply“floataroundonacloud”waitingforGodtotelluswhereandwhentobrushourteethortieourshoes.Therearechoicesthatrequirepracticalwisdom.However,toengageadestiny-definingmoment,itisvital for you to be in continuous communionwith theHolySpirit, always listening to thoseinward“nudges.”ThisiswhattheApostlePaulmeantwhenhewrote,“Praywithoutceasing”(1Thess.5:17).

“OnetouchfromGodthroughanotherpersoncantransformdestructivemindsetsyoudidn’tevenknowyouhad.”

Thereisapointofintersectionbetweenboththepracticalandsupernatural.Goddoesnotsimplywant to set you free andbreaka cycle in your life, butHewants toposition you tofulfillyourdestiny.Healsowantstouseyoutohelplaunchotherpeopleintotheirdestinies.You verywell could be the divine encounter that someone else needs to propel him or herforward.Godmightplacepeopleinyourpathtobethatcollisionofdestinytheydesperatelyneed.Atthesametime,thosepeoplemayinfactbeintegraltoGodlaunchingyou intoyourdestiny.Thoughthisknowledgeisveiledtous,wedohavetheHolySpiritlivingwithinus,whogivesuswisdom,direction,andclarity.

InadditiontobeingsensitivetoGod’sleadinginyourhomecity,beopentogoingtonewplaces. For example, go to a conference ormeeting not in your home church or city. Visitsomewhere that specializes in what you want to do or who you want to become. As youpositionyourselftobeintherightplaceattherighttime,looktoseewhostandsouttoyou.“Seek and youwill find” (Matt. 7:7 NIV). Ask yourself who you feel drawn to—be open to

cultivating new relationships that could possibly shift everything in your life. Breaking thecycle is not simply a matter of getting out of the old and leaving behind the damagingrelationships of your past. Rather, it involves pursuing life-giving relationships thatwill setyouuptofulfillyourdestiny.

POWERPOINT

Praywith intentionality forGod to set youupwithdestiny-definingmoments.Keep yoursenses open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in your schedule, see who you feel drawn to,introduceyourselftonewpeople,andasktomeetwithpotentialmentorsandfriends.Whenyou live surrendered toGod’s leading, and pursue life-giving relationships, destiny-definingmomentswillstarttotakeplaceonaregularbasis.

POWERTHOUGHT

Foreveryonewhoasksreceives;theonewhoseeksfinds;andtotheonewhoknocks,thedoorwillbeopened(Matthew7:8NIV).

Day22

PURSUEARENEWEDMIND

Berenewedinthespiritofyourmind(Ephesians4:23).

DISCIPLINE#22—REPLACENEGATIVEMINDSETSWITHGOD’STRUTH

A destiny moment is always a redefining moment—an experience or decision thattransforms you because it causes you to re-evaluate and redirect your mindset andexpectations;itcompelsyoutorenewyourmind.Aswebreakfreefromformersoultiesthathavehadanadverseimpactonourmindsetsandperspectives,weneedtobecomeintentionalabout filling our minds with something new and transformative. This is the secret tostewarding your transformation and successfully living life beyond the broken cycle—nolongertoreturntotheslaveryofanoldparadigm.

Paul told the Romans to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2).Transformation comesby renewingyourmind.Thisbegs thequestion,whatdoesrenewingyourmindlooklike?

“Studying, fellowshipping, and learning from others facilitates therenovationofyoursoul.”

There are many ways of renewing your mind, foremost is studying what the Bible saysabout how God sees you in Christ. Studying, fellowshipping, and learning from theexperiences of others will also facilitate the renovation of your soul. In fact, I pray thatreadingthisbookwillcontribute to thatrenovation—thatasaresultofourmeetinghere inthese pages you will be able to understand what has plagued your soul and the series ofunfortunate meetings and associations that have kept you from moving forward andmaximizingyourfullestpotential.Aboveall,IhopetodirectyoutoanencounterwiththeOnewhosepresencewillsevereveryencumbranceandfreeyoufromeverydefilingattachment.

Todaywewill focusonspecificwaysyoucanrenewyourmind.Asalludedtoearlier, thefirststepisstudyingwhattheScripturesaysabouthowGodseesyouinChrist.ThiscanbeastruggleforthosewhoapproachScripturefromanaturalperspective.Renewingyourmindisanything but natural. In fact, the alignment of your thought processes and mindsets withScripture’srevelationof“Christinyou,”and“youinChrist”isnothingshortofsupernatural.YouneedtoworkwiththeHolySpiritinthisprocess,assomeoftheconceptsyouwillstudyinScripture—withnaturaleyesandnaturallogic—willnotimmediatelyregisterormakesense.

Our tendency is tomoveon to thenextconceptor idea thatwecanquicklyunderstand,when in fact, there is life-changing Truth waiting for you just behind the veil. I want toencourage you to pause in places where your mind becomes frustrated. This is wheremeditation is crucial to the mind-renewing process. Scriptural meditation is different fromEasternmediation;whereEasternmeditation involves the emptyingof themind,Scripturalmeditationisafillingofyourmind.AsyoufillyourmindwithGod’sWord,youareundergoingwhat Scripture describes as “the washing of water by the word” (Eph. 5:26). This is whyScripturemeditationisanintegralpartofbreakingthecyclecausedbysoulattachments.Bylivingyokedinasoulattachmentforsolong,thatrelationshiporexchangecontaminatestheway you think. We studied earlier how soul ties form alien mindsets, beliefs, and evenparadigms thatmustbe reprogrammed.Theyare “alien”because theyare foreign toGod’sgoodplanandpurposeforyourlife.

Whileexperiencingthis“mindcleansing”throughyourencounterwithScripture,youmaydiscover that some of the truths presented are difficult to believe about yourself. This isevidencethattheprocessisworking,foryouareconfrontingfalsemindsets.Itcomesdowntoachoice,really.YoumustchoosetobelieveGod’sWord,evenifpastmindsetsaretryingtotell

you otherwise. Thesemindsets are subject to the final authority of Scripture and youmustbringthemintoagreementwithwhatGodsaysaboutyou.

“YoumustchoosetobelieveGod’sWord,evenifpastmindsetsaretryingtotellyouotherwise.”

Anothermethodofrenewingyourmindisfoundincultivatingthelife-givingrelationshipswediscussed yesterday.We all need someone to keepus accountable and tell uswhen ourthinking is not lining up with Truth. Renewing yourmind can also look like learning frompeoplewhoarethinkingandlivinglikeyouwouldliketobe.Itcouldbeaministerinyourareaorsomeonewhospeakstoaudiencesaroundtheworld.Youcanfollowthemonline,readtheirbooks, or download theirmessages.When you listen to peoplewhomake your heart comealivebecausetheyspeakwordsoflife,followthatinclinationandreceiveasmuchasyoucanfromthem.

Similarly,researchingandstudyingacertaintopiccanbemindrenewing.Whenyoufeelastrongdesiretodiscovermoreaboutatopicorissue,pursueitwithvigor.Theremaybemanydifferent people writing or speaking on that topic from unique angles—by learning from avarietyofsources,youwillfindyourselfmakingnewconnectionsthatofferrevelatoryinsightsthat you would not have discovered by learning from one teacher alone. As we all know,knowledgeisextraordinarilyempowering.

Music is anotherway you can fill yourmindwith truth.There is somethingaboutmusicthatspeakstooursoulssothatthemessageseventuallytransformourminds,whetherwearepayingattentiontothelyricsornot.Onceyouidentifyatruthyouwouldliketofillyourmindwith, listen tosongswithmessages thatdeclare that truth.There isnobetterway togetaconceptdownintoyourheartthantocontinuallysingaboutit.WeareinstructedbyPaulinhisletter to theEphesians to speakout“inpsalmsandhymnsandspiritual songs, singingandmakingmelodyinyourhearttotheLord”(Eph.5:19).

The lastwaytorenewyourmindisbyguardingwhatgoes intoyoureyegates.WhatweseeonTV,inmovies,andinmagazinesinfluencesus,whetherwerealizeitornot.Ittaintsoursouls.“Summingitallup,friends,I’dsayyou’lldobestbyfillingyourmindsandmeditatingonthingstrue,noble,reputable,authentic,compelling,gracious—thebest,nottheworst;thebeautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” (Phil. 4:8 MSG). If you findyourselfdoingallofthesesuggestionswhilestillfillingyourmindwithmessagesopposedtotheKingdom,everythingelsewillnothavestayingpower.Forthisreason,seektowatchandreadonlywhatisgoingtofosterabundantspiritual life.Doitforthesakeofyourmindandpersonaltransformation.

POWERPOINT

Insummary,renewingyourmindcanlooklike:

ReadingandmeditatingonwhattheBiblesaysaboutwhoyouareinChristEnlistingfriendsandmentorstoencourageyouListeningtomessagesandreadingbooksbypeoplewhohaverenewedmindsFillingyoursoulwithmusicthatreinforcespositivemessagesaboutwhoGodisandwhoyouareTakinginmediathatwillnottaintyoursoul

POWERTHOUGHT

Youcannothaveapositivelifeandanegativemind.—JoyceMeyer

Day23

PURSUEJOY

JoyistheseriousbusinessofHeaven.—C.S.Lewis

DISCIPLINE#23—SEEKACTIVITIESANDPEOPLEWHOMAKEYOUCOMEALIVE

JoyisafruitoftheSpirit(seeGal.5:22)andispartofthedefinitionoftheKingdomofGod.“ForthekingdomofGodisnoteatinganddrinking,butrighteousnessandpeaceandjoy intheHoly Spirit” (Rom.14:17). Jesus was anointedwith the oil of joy, and so should we be:“God,yourGod,hassetyouaboveyourcompanionsbyanointingyouwiththeoilofjoy”(Heb.1:9NIV).

TobefilledtooverflowingwithjoyisatestamenttotheHolySpirit’sindwellingpresence.Joyissomethingthateverybodywantstoexperience.Itgoeswithoutsayingthatwhenwearejoyfulwewillbecomeattractivetotheworldandtheywillbecurioustodiscoverwhywearesohappy.

“To be filled to overflowingwith joy is a testament to theHoly Spirit’sindwellingpresence.”

Whataresomepracticalwayswecanpursueandexperiencejoy?RefreshingourselvesbyreadingtheWord,praying,meditatingonGod’s love,andworshipingare justa few.WearetoldinPsalm16:11that“fullnessofjoy”isfoundinGod’spresence.WewilltalkmoreaboutpursuingGod’spresenceonDay25.

TodayIwanttogiveyouafewpracticaltruthsaboutjoyandhowtoexperienceitinyourlife.Asweunderstandwhatjoyis,whatitlookslike,andthebenefitsitreleasesinourlives,we will intentionally pursue activities and relationships that convey this Kingdomcharacteristic.

“ThejoyoftheLordisyourstrengthandstronghold”(Neh.8:10AMP).Joymakesusstrongandprotectsus fromdespairandhopeless thinking.Notonly is joyaprotectivestronghold,butitisalsoabondage-breakingforce.Didyouknowpeoplecanbesetfreefromemotionaland physical issues simply by laughing? Try laughing out loud the next time a difficultsituation arises. Recognizewhen the enemy is attempting to get you down and choose joyinstead.Likewise,bemindfultoengageinrelationshipswiththosewhoarealwayswillingtochoosejoyoverdefeatanddiscouragement.Itisonlyamatteroftimebeforetheattitudesofyourassociationsruboffonyou.

“Joy, praise, and thanksgiving create supernatural inroads for God’sSpiritandHisKingdomtomanifest.Self-pity,pride,andbitternessopen

thedoortotheenemytowreakhavocuponyoursoul.”“Behappy [inyour faith]andrejoiceandbeglad-heartedcontinually (always)” (1Thess.

5:16AMP). It is important for us tomaintain continual joy.Often, this involves a proactivedecisiontorejoice.Joy,praise,andthanksgivingcreatesupernaturalinroadsforGod’sSpiritandHisKingdomtomanifest—whileself-pity,pride,andbitternessopenthedoortotheenemyto wreak havoc upon your soul. This is why Paul admonishes believers to rejoice and bethankfulcontinually(seePhil.4:4).“I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on your wonders. I’m

whistling, laughing,and jumpingfor joy; I’msingingyoursong,HighGod” (Ps.9:1-2MSG).Being thankful toGodandcountingourblessings is apowerfulway togainanappropriate

perspective on our situations, remain humble, and position our hearts to receivemore joy.Practicewritingdownthingsyouarethankfulforonaconsistentbasis(perhapsbeforebed)andproactivelypraiseGodforthosethings.Thiscreatesaclimateofthanksgivingthatbeginstodefineyourlifeandthepersonalpresenceyoucarry.Ensurethatyourrelationshipsconsistof those who are more blessing-minded than disappointment-driven. Our joy is stirred bybeing surrounded by people who continuously focus on what God is doing and how He isreleasingblessing—rather than thosewhoarealwaysdisappointedatwhat theyperceive isnothappeningintheirlives.

“I came that theymay have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till itoverflows)”(John10:10AMP).Anotherwaytopursuejoyisbysimplymakingthedecisiontoenjoyyour life.God isnotakilljoy.Onthecontrary,He is theauthorof trueenjoyment.Heinstituted festivals for theHebrewpeople to celebrateHim in theOldTestament.Scripturedoes not mention God revoking our license to enjoy life. If anything, Jesus came to makeavailable a whole new dimension of joy and abundant living. Unfortunately, in our time-crunchedschedules,wedon’talwaysmakeenjoyinglifeapriority.Dependingontheculturewe live in and our personality type,wemay even feel guilty for doing enjoyable things. Tomaintaina joyfulattitude in life,weneedtoseekactivities thatmakeuscomealiveandbeassuredthatthepursuitofjoyisordainedbyGod.

“SeekactivitiesthatmakeuscomealiveandbeassuredthatthepursuitofjoyisordainedbyGod.”

Askyourselfwhatbringsyoujoyandthenmaketimeinyourscheduletodoit.Itdoesnotneedtocostalotofmoney.Therearemanyactivitiesyoucandoforfreethatcanhelpfosterjoy.

Herearesomeideastohelpyoustartyourownlistofwhatmakesyoucomealive:

SingorplayaninstrumentDanceExploretheoutdoorsMakeartCookorbakePlaygamesorsportsWatchafunnymovieListentojoyfulmusicGotoaconcert

Use this listasaspringboard tostart thinkingabout theactivities inyour life thatbringyou joy.Maybe ithasbeena long timesinceyoubelieved itwasokay toenjoyyourself.Asmentionedearlier,someofuslivewithsoulattachmentsforsolong—manysincechildhood—thatweactuallyneedtolearnhowtoenjoyourselves.Whatcomesnaturallytosomeisarealstrainforothersbecauseofthesoulslaverytheypreviouslyexperienced.Thatsaid,itistimetotake fulladvantageofyour freedom.This isnota licensetobecome irresponsible. It isasummons,however,tostartlivingagain.“Toeverythingthereisaseason,atimeforeverypurposeunderheaven.Atimetoweep,

anda time to laugh;a time tomourn, anda time todance” (Eccles.3:1,4).Our last key topursuing joy isseekingand intentionallyspendingtimewithpeoplewhoare joyful.There iscertainlyatimetobuckledownandberesponsible,butlikewise,thereisatimeforenjoymentandfun.Thereisatimetocomfortthosewhoaremourning,andthereisalsoatimetofindpeoplewithwhomyoucanrejoice.

POWERPOINT

Intentionallyandproactivelypursue joy ineveryareaofyour life!Twoof themainwaysyou can cultivate joy is by first cultivating healthy relationships with those who are alsopursuingjoy,andsecond,byengaginginactivitiesthatcauseyourhearttocomealive.Bothrequirechoices.Anattitudeofjoywillnotautomaticallyovertakeyourlife—youmustpursuejoy intentionally. You may experience moments of happiness, but if you are intent aboutpursuingalifestyledefinedbyjoy,youmustrecognizeitsworthandgoafteritassomethingprecious.

POWERTHOUGHT

RejoiceintheLordalways.Iwillsayitagain:Rejoice!(Philippians4:4)

Day24

PURSUEPURPOSE

Lookcarefullythenhowyouwalk!Livepurposefullyandworthilyandaccurately,notastheunwiseandwitless,butaswise(sensible,intelligentpeople)(Ephesians5:15,AMP).

DISCIPLINE#24—LIVEINTENTIONALLY

Oncewebreak soul tiesandgetoutofdestructive relationshipsandcycles,wemustbepurposefulabouthowwestewardourlives.Remember,theenemy’sidealtargetisthehousethat has been left “clean and swept.” He is looking for empty, inhabitable space. In otherwords, to break the cycle, not only do you pursue freedom from soul attachments, but youmustalsodeliberatelymoveforwardbypursuingalifestyleofmindfulnessandintentionality.Be aware that if you don’t intentionally direct your life, your life will be directed by yourcircumstances,andbeforeyouknowitfive,ten,ortwentyyearswillhavepassedby.Youwillreflect back on your life and recognize that you had little say about what happened—youcomplacentlyallowedcircumstances,situations,andthe“tyrannyoftheurgent”todefinewhoyoubecameandwhatyouaccomplished.Thankfully,youcanalwaysreversethisprocess.

“If you don’t intentionally direct your life, your life will be directed byyourcircumstances.”

Today Iwantus toexamine thepursuitofpurpose froma spiritual foundation,and thenwe’llreviewsomepracticalkeystounlockingpurposeinyourlife.

First,let’sstudyEphesians5:13-20.Paulgivesfiveprescriptivestepsyoucantakethatactasanantidotetothesoultranquilizerofsinandsorrow—theenemiesofpurpose.Hebeginsbymakingthisurgentcommand:

Awake,youwhosleep,arisefromthedead,andChristwillgiveyoulight(Ephesians5:14).

Makenote,heistalkingtobelievingChristianshere.HeistalkingtotheChurch.Paulalsowrote to theRomans,“Now it ishigh timetoawakeoutofsleep; fornowoursalvation isnearerthanwhenwefirstbelieved” (Rom.13:11).Sohowdowe,whohaveacceptedChristandareeternallysaved,wakeupand“arise fromthedead”?Whatdoes thatmeanexactly?Can a believer be sleepwalking through life, never knowing his or her divine purpose?Absolutely.

Let’sbreakdowntheversesthatfollowinEphesianschapter5beginningwiththelastinthe series.Working backward, you will see that the genesis of life-imbuing transformationbeginswithbeingthankful.Howdoyourevivefromthedeadandwalkinabundant,purpose-full life?By first,“Giving thanksalways forall things toGod theFather in thenameofourLordJesusChrist”(Eph.5:20).Howdoyoubegintodothat?By“singingandmakingmelodyinyourhearttotheLord”(Eph.5:19).Butwhatifyoudon’tfeellikeit?Youpractice“singingpsalms and hymns and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19 NLT)—because this is how you “let theSpiritfillyourlife”(Eph.5:18CEV).Onceagain,thesepracticesdemandadecision.Theywillnotcomeaboutcasually.WemustbelikeDavid,whoactuallydirectedhisverywilltoblesstheLordatalltimes(seePs.34:1).

Asaresult,youwillbeequippedto“understandwhatthewilloftheLordis” (Eph.5:17)—andwhenyouunderstand that,youwillbeable to“makeeveryminutecount” (Eph. 5:16CEV);“makingtheverymostofthetime”(Eph.5:16AMP)and“everyopportunity”(Eph.5:16NLT).Thatalonemakesitworthhavinganattitudeofgratitude,butitdoesn’tendthere.Theinnerjoythatcomesfrombeingthankfulwillenableyouto“livepurposefullyandworthilyand

accurately,notastheunwiseandwitless,butaswise(sensible,intelligentpeople)”(Eph.5:15AMP)—youwillbe“likethosewhoarewise”(Eph.5:15NLT).Youwillbe“deadtothepowerofsinandalivetoGodthroughChristJesus”(Rom.6:11NLT).And,asRevelationsays,“Godwillblessyou,ifyouareawakeandready”(Rev.16:15CEV).

Thisistheveryplaceyouwanttolivefrom.Idon’tsimplywanttoseeyoufree;Iwanttoseeyoudeadtothesins,entanglements,andtiesthatheldyoubackandrestrainedyoufromexperiencingyourtruepurposein life.Weendwherewebegan—becomingawake.Soul tieskeepus inastateof slumberwhen it comes todiscoveringourpurpose.As longaswearefocused on the attachment that is draining our time, life, and energy, it is very difficult tobecome plugged into our purpose.Now thatwe are breaking the cycle and inaugurating alifestyleoffreedom,itistimeforustopursueactivitiesthatactuallycontributetodiscoveringandstewardingourlifepurpose.Itallbeginswithintentionality.

“Soultieskeepusinastateofslumberwhenitcomestodiscoveringourpurpose.”

ThePracticalSideGodgivesuseverythingthatwehave,and it isuptoustosteward itwell.Thisnotonly

includesourtime,treasure,andtalent,butalsoourpurposeanddestiny.Theprincipleisallencompassing.Howwespendour time,wherewedirectouremotionalenergy,whatwedowithourfinances—allofthesefactorscontributetousunlockingpurposeinourlives.WecanandshouldconsultGodonmattersofhowwearestewardingtheseassets,butultimately,itisourdecision.Willourstewardshipoflife’sresourcespropelustowardourhighestcalling,orwillwecontinuetopositionourselvesforcyclesofcontinuousbondage?

Considerwhat the book of Proverbs has to say regarding livingpurposefully andpayingattentiontowisdom:

So, my dear friends, listen carefully; those who embrace these my ways are mostblessed.Mark a life of discipline and live wisely; don’t squander your precious life.Blessedtheman,blessedthewoman,wholistenstome,awakeandreadyformeeachmorning,alertandresponsiveasIstartmyday’swork.Whenyoufindme,youfindlife,reallife,tosaynothingofGod’sgoodpleasure(Proverbs8:32-35MSG).

Herearesomesimplestartingplacestolivewiselyandpursuepurposeindifferentareasofyourlife:

Finances:Makeabudget.Saveforthefuture.Tithetoyourlocalchurch.Time:Make a schedule and allocate time with God, people, for self-improvement,professionaldevelopment,andtohavefun.Health:Takecareofyour“temple”byeatinghealthyandexercising.Sleep:Don’tdepriveyourselfofneededrest.InviteGodtospeaktoyourspiritevenasyousleep.Stewardyourdreamsbyrecordingthem.Possessions: Regularly maintain what you own by cleaning, organizing, and fixingthingswhennecessary.

Take time to seriously consider how you can best use the time and resources God hasentrusted to you and make a plan to invest them wisely. We do not step into purpose byaccident. The very nature of the word purpose is one of intentionality. To discover ourindividualpurposeinlife,wemustpursuepurposebylivingintentionally.

POWERPOINT

Many are waiting around to “receive their purpose” through a vision, dream or someecstatic experience. This is the opposite of how we are called to live. Remember theadmonitionofApostlePaultothechurchinEphesus:“Sobecarefulhowyoulive.Don’tlivelikefools,butlikethosewhoarewise.Makethemostofeveryopportunityintheseevildays.Don’tactthoughtlessly,butunderstandwhattheLordwantsyoutodo”(Eph.5:15-17NLT).

Weescapefoolishness,accesswisdom,stewardopportunity,anddiscernthewillofGodby

beingcarefulwithhowwelive.Bylivingpurposefully,weare—inessence—beginningtofulfillourverypurpose.

POWERTHOUGHT

Ifyouhavefelthopeless,holdon!Wonderfulchangesaregoingtohappeninyourlifeasyoubegintoliveitonpurpose.—RickWarren

Day25

PURSUEGOD’SPRESENCE

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty(emancipationfrombondage,freedom)(2Corinthians3:17AMP).

DISCIPLINE#25—CREATEANATMOSPHERECHARGEDBYGOD’SPRESENCE

Ibelievethattoday’spursuitwillempoweryoutonotonlybreakcyclesofbondageinyourlife, but also prove to be a dynamic key to unlocking freedom as a lifestyle, notmerely anexperience.

ItallbeginswithourawarenessandexperienceofGod’spowerfulpresence.Toomanyofusarewaitingaroundforsomethingthatwealreadypossess.TheSpiritofGod

lives inside you! You do not need to wait for some type of spiritually charged atmospherebeforeexperiencingthefreedomthatcomesbyabidinginHispresence.Rather,youhavetheability to charge your own atmosphere and live in that presence 24/7. The One who livesinside you is the very Agent who empowers you to live a lifestyle of freedom, rather thanexperience only fleeting seasons of it. Review today’s Scripture. Paul defines the type ofatmospherethattheSpiritofGodcreatesinourlivesasoneoffreedom.

Paul’s very language communicates a position rather than a temporary feeling. Heidentifiesthat“wheretheSpiritoftheLordis,thereis liberty” (2Cor.3:17AMP).Where istheSpiritoftheLord?Heisnotinatemplemadeofstone.Heisnotuponyouforaseasonoratime,asHewasuponthejudges,prophets,andkingsundertheOldCovenant.Jesus’bloodpurchasedyouraccesstoalifestyleofbeingindweltandinhabitedbytheHolySpirit.Thisisyour reality and His position. Since God’s Spirit lives inside you—the Spirit who bringsfreedomandliberty—youcarrytheabilitytonotonlywalkinconsistentfreedom,butalsotoreleaseittoothersbychargingtheatmospherewithGod’spowerfulpresence.

InGod’spresenceisfullnessofjoy,freedom,truth,love,peace,healing,hope,faith,andsomuchmore.IfwelivevoidofconsistentawarenessofGod’sindwellingpresence,whatdowereallyhave?Alifeofstruggleandcontinuousstrivingforfreedomexternally,whenweactuallypossessitinternallyinthePersonoftheHolySpirit.Remember,“wheretheSpiritoftheLordisthereis liberty”(2Cor.3:17AMP).Thekeywordhereis“is.”Pauldidnotsaywhere theSpiritoftheLord“visits”orwheretheSpiritoftheLordcomes“upon.”Theword“is”denotesarestingplace—aremaining.If this istrue, then justasthePersonoftheSpiritabidesandremains in you, so you should reap the benefits of His habitation. Such rewards includefreedomandliberty.

“Youcarry theability towalk inconsistent freedomandtorelease it toothersbychargingtheatmospherewithGod’spowerfulpresence.”

SowhatdoesitmeantocreateanatmospherechargedwithGod’spresence?WhereGod’sSpiritispresent,strongholdssurrendertheirgrip—andeverytypeofbondage

loses its power.Where God is present, His Kingdom reigns. Romans 14:17 states that theKingdom of God is marked by “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” TheKingdomandreignofGodareactuallyreleasedinthePersonoftheHolySpirit.

Where there is unrighteousness, disharmony, distress, and despair, “there you will finddisorder and evil of every kind” (James 3:16 NLT). These are the very things that God’sKingdomdispelsthroughthereleaseofHispresence.WherethelightofGodisnotpresent,youwillfindthefruitofdarknessabounding,suchasdeception,hatred,greed,strife:

Sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling,jealousy, outburstsof anger, selfishambition,dissension,division, envy,drunkenness,wildparties,andothersinslikethese(Galatians5:19-21NLT).

PaulgoesontoremindtheGalatians,“Letmetellyouagain,asIhavebefore,thatanyonelivingthatsortoflifewillnotinherittheKingdomofGod”(Gal.5:21NLT).

Ontheotherhand,wheretheSpiritofGodispresent,thereyouwillfind“love,joy,peace,patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23NLT).YouwillfindwhatJesuscalled“life…moreabundantly”(John10:10).

The key to liberating your soul from the death grip of a fallen world is living in thepresence of God. James wrote that humanity’s sinful nature leads to death—“Each one istempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire hasconceived,itgivesbirthtosin;andsin,whenitisfull-grown,bringsforthdeath”(James1:14-15)—butJameswentontosaythat ifyou“humbleyourselvesbeforeGod” (James4:7NLT),youwillbeableto“resistthedevil,andhewillfleefromyou”(James4:7NLT).TheMessageputs it thisway: “Let Godwork his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil andwatch himscamper.SayaquietyestoGodandhe’llbethereinnotime.Quitdabblinginsin.Purifyyourinnerlife”(James4:7MSG).Peterstatedsimply,“abstainfromfleshlylustswhichwaragainstthesoul”(1Pet.2:11).

TheCycle-BreakingPowerofGod’sPresenceSoul tiesarebrokenbybothanactof thewillandby thepowerof theSpirit—youmust

chooseto“walkintheSpirit”sothatyou“shallnotfulfillthelustoftheflesh”(Gal.5:16).TheSpirit ofGodworking inyour lifewillgiveyouvictoryoverevery stronghold,butyoumustchoosetowalkinthepresenceofthatSpirit.It isGod’spowerthattearsdownstrongholds,but it is yourpowerof choice toaccess it.Paulmadeclear thatyouand Imust“useGod’spowerthatcandestroyfortresses”(2Cor.10:4CEV).Heexplainedthat:

The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling downstrongholds,castingdownargumentsandeveryhighthingthatexaltsitselfagainsttheknowledgeofGod,bringingeverythought intocaptivitytotheobedienceofChrist (2Corinthians10:4-5).

YoumustallowChristtocaptivateyourthoughts.OnlybyfocusingonHimcanyouguardyour heart andmindwith the peace of God. As Isaiah 26:3 tells us, “Youwill keep him inperfectpeace,whosemindisstayedonYou.”OneofthefoundationalmessagesoftheBibleisGodsimplysaying,“Bestill,andknowthatIamGod”(Ps.46:10).

WhatdoesitlookliketoliveinGod’spresence,andinturn,enjoythefreedomHisSpiritmakes available? Spending oneon-one time with Him—as well as enjoying His companywherever you are, in whatever you’re doing. At all times, you can be God-conscious andmindfulofHisabidingpresence.Atothertimes,itisvaluabletopullawayandfocusonGodalone.Maketimeinyourdailyschedule—perhapsatthebeginningand/orendofeachday—toquietyourspiritandrestinyourawarenessofHim.Betterstill,takearetreatonceortwiceayearbyyourself.AskGodwhereyoushouldgotobeawaywithHim.

“OneofthefoundationalmessagesoftheBibleisGodsimplysaying,“Bestill,andknowthatIamGod.””

OnceyouhavescheduledyourtimewithGod,herearesometipsforwhatyoucandotomorefullyexperienceHispresence:

Listentopraiseandworshipmusic.ThankGodforwhoHisisandwhatHehasgivenyou(seePs.100:4).FocusyourmindonwhatyouknowoftheFather,HisSon,orHisSpirit.AskGodwhatHethinksaboutyouandreceiveHislove.ReadPsalms(trydifferentBibleversions)tohelpyouprayandpraiseHim.Makeupyourownspiritualsongsandwritethemdownorrecordthem.

SpendingtimewithGodinHispresenceistheonlywaytoliveafreeandresilientlife.ThemoreyouspendtimewithHim,themoretimeyouwillwanttospendwithHim.ThebeautifulthingisthatHelovestospendtimewithHischildrenandisalwaysavailable.

POWERPOINT

GetintothepresenceofGodwhereyouwillfindHishealinglove,peace,andjoy—thatiswhere His Kingdom is found. You can charge any atmosphere with the bondage-breakingpowerofHisloveandpower.

POWERTHOUGHT

We experience the measure of presence we are willing to jealously guard. —BillJohnson

WeekSix

BUILDINGNEWBOUNDARIES

God,whomadetheworldandeverythinginit…Hegivestoalllife,breath,andallthings.And…hasdetermined…theboundariesoftheirdwellings(Acts17:24-26).

Personalrelationshipsarethefertilesoilfromwhichalladvancement,allsuccess,allachievementinreallifegrows.—BenStein

Throughout the first fourweekswe identifiedtheexchangesandrelationshipsthat leadtoensnaringsoulattachments.Lastweekwetalkedaboutfiveessentialpractices—ordisciplines—youmustpursuetobreakthesecyclesandcontinuallyreclaimyoursoul.However,tosolidlyposition you tomove forward in thehealingand reclamationprocess,wemust address theissueofboundaries.

Iwanttohelpyouunderstandtheimportanceofestablishingnewboundariesinyourlife.Thiswillbeessentialinsafeguardingyoursoulfromfallingpreytothesameoldattachmentsandcyclesasbefore.

Healthy boundaries are important because they help to protect you mentally, socially,emotionally,andspiritually—aswellaspsychologically.Healthyboundariesareclearlydefinedlimitswithinwhichyouarefreetobeyourselfwithnorestrictionsplacedonyoubyothersastohowtothink,feel,oract.Healthyboundariesalsohelpyoucreateaqualityoflifedefinedbylovehappiness,peace,andjoy—withoutlimitingpleasureorthepursuitofpurpose.Peoplewhosufferfromunhealthysoultiestendtohaveunhealthyboundariesaswell.

I have had the distinct privilege of traveling the world. Whenever I cross a nationalboundaryorborder,Ihavetobegrantedpermission.Oftenthereisawelcomesignifthereisnotaborderprotectionagencylocatedonthebordersite.Whenpeopleenteryourlife,theymustdosoonlyafteryougrantthempermission.Thisishowyoushouldconductallofyourrelationalaffairs.Donotallowjustanyoneintoyourpersonhood.Lifeisajourneyandyouwillbe given an opportunity to have many traveling companions. You must choose yourcompanionswisely, andwhen you deem someone suitable, grant them permissionwith thenecessaryrestrictionstotravelwithyou.

Youmustestablishhealthyboundaries.

Day26

VALUEBOUNDARIES

Butletyour“Yes”be“Yes,”andyour“No,”“No”(Matthew5:37).

DISCIPLINE#26—MAKEYOURBOUNDARIESCLEARANDKNOWN

Havingclearboundariesallowsyoutosay“No”whensomethinginappropriatemakesyoufeel uncomfortable or vulnerable. It enables you to say “No” to giving something youshouldn’t,“No”tobehavinginacertainway,“No”tobeingtreatedinawaythatwillhurtyourheart,bruiseyoursoul,stripyouofyourindividuality,harmyourbody,losecontrolofyourselfor property, undermine your uniqueness or your rights as a human being, “No” to beingdevalued,misused,orabused.Itishavingthementalandemotionalfortitudetosay,“Backoff,youareviolatingmypersonalspace—youaretrespassingonmypurpose.”

“Boundariesareessentialforlovingandlookingafteryourownself.”Boundariesareessentialforlovingandlookingafteryourownself.Theynotonlyhelpyou

gain self-worth and dignity, they help others to respect and value you as well. Boundariesenableyoutomoveoutofpotentiallyharmfulrelationships—totellanover-burdeningfriendwithunrealisticexpectations“No,”to fight foryourrights, tovoiceyouropinion, toexpressyourindividuality,totake“me-moments”andnotfeelguilty,toknowwhenenoughisenough,toaskforwhatyouneed,todemandrespect,andtostandupforwhatyoubelieve.

DefiningBoundariesWithallthatsaid,let’sestablishwhataboundaryis.Aboundaryis:

Thesettingofbalancedemotionalandphysicallimitswheninteractingwithotherssothataninterdependentrelationshipofmutuallybeneficialgrowth,support,love,andcelebrationcanbeachieved.Establishingemotional,psychological,andphysical“space”betweenyouandanotherperson,whichdenoteswhere“you”beginandwheretheotherpersonends,andviceversa.Havingclearexpectationsofothersandlimitsforyourself(whatyouwillandwillnotdo,give,become,allow,tolerate).That invisible “line of demarcation” which you will not allow anyone to crossregardingyouremotions,intellect,property,body,finances,psyche,spirit,etc.Thesettingoflimitationsoverwhatyouwillandwillnotdoforothers.Establishinggoalsandexpectationsforyourphysical,spiritual,andemotionalwell-beingwhichyouexpectotherstorespectinrelatingtoyou.Understanding the emotional and physical space you need in order to liveauthentically.Creating a healthy emotional, psychological, social, and physical distance betweenyouandanothersothatyoudonotbecomeoverlyenmeshedand/ordependent.Conversely,maintainingthenecessaryemotionalandphysicalclosenessyouneedsothatyouandanotherdonotbecometoodetachedand/oroverlyindependent.

LetYour“Yes”beYesInthecontextofMatthew5,Jesusisspecificallydiscussingoaths.Theprinciple,however,

isabsolutelyapplicablewhenitcomestosettingboundariesforourlives.Theymustbeclearandwell-defined.It is interestingthatafterclarifyingthe importanceofour“Yes”beingyesand“No”beingno,Jesusaddsthefollowingstatement—“Forwhateverismorethantheseisfromtheevilone”(Matt.5:37).

If we are not sticking to a simple “Yes” or “No,” we are actually playing right into the

enemy’s agenda for our lives. He delights in our compromise, for when we slide in ourconvictions concerning boundaries, we open a door to him. In the context we have beenstudying, Ibelieve thatwhenweare inappropriately flexiblewithourboundaries,weallowissuesandindividualsintoourlivesthatsetusupforunhealthysoulattachments.

Wehavealreadyidentifiedthevariousdimensionsofsuchsoulties;mygoalhereisnottorestate thedangerouspossibilities that limitedornoboundariesopenusup to—but toarmyou with a revelation concerning the power of clarity when it comes to making yourboundariesandrestrictionsknown.WithinthecontextoftheseScriptures,andJesus’words,onecanconcludethatbystickingtothesimpleandclear,weactuallydenytheeviloneaplaceinourlives.

ThePowerofDefinedBoundariesBy refusing to compromise your boundaries, you deny potential attachments your

agreement,andtherebyforbidthemaplaceinyourlife.Icannotoverstatethepowerofclear,definedboundaries.Regardlessofwhatareayouareestablishingtheboundaryin,remember—itisaclearlineofdemarcationthatdeclares,“Donotcross.”

Thereasonmanyofushavedealtwithsoul ties is far frommysterious.Oneof themainwaystheytakerootinourlivesisthroughundefinedboundaries.Basically,thereisverylittlethatweactually say “No” to.Wemaywant to say “No.”Wemaybelievedeepdown in ourheartofheartsthat“No”istheappropriatedecisioninaparticularsituationorwhendealingwithacertainperson.However,beliefwithoutapplicationdoesnotproduceresults.Scriptureputsitthisway:“Thusalsofaithbyitself,ifitdoesnothaveworks,isdead”(James2:17).

Therearemanypeoplewhohavea strong, sincere faith in something—orat least, thinktheydo—butyet,thatfaithdoesnotpracticallyimpactorshapetheirlivesinanyway.Faithremainsrelegatedtotheheartormind,butnevermakesanimpactonlifestyle.Inthesameway, many of us believe that boundaries are appropriate, but continue to go through lifewithoutsettingthem,andthusperpetuatingacyclethatGodwantstocompletelybreakinourlives.However,Godwillnotcomedownandoverrideyourwill.Hewillnotsettheboundariesforyou.Thisissomethingthatyoumustdoforyourselfineveryareaofyourlife.

WhiletheWordofGodandtheHolySpiritwillprovidenecessarydirectionintermsofwhattypesofboundariesyouneedtoestablish,itisyourjobtoenforcethem.Thisallbeginswithvaluingboundariesandrecognizinghowessential theyare foryoutoreclaimyoursoulandexperienceamoreresilientlife.

POWERPOINT

It is time to transition from thedefensive to theoffensive.By establishing clear, definedboundaries,youarenotsimplymovingawayfromtheharmfulsoulattachmentsofthepast,youaremovingtowardalifestyleofblessing,victory,andfreedom.

The first step to building new boundaries in your life is actually valuing boundaries. Tovalueboundaries,youmustbeginbyvaluingyourself.Doyouvalueyourselfenoughtobreakagreementwith the people, situations, circumstances and attachments that seek to destroyyou—andthenraiseupanewstandardofliving?Ibelieveyoudo.

“Do you value yourself enough to break agreement with the people,situations,circumstancesandattachmentsthatseektodestroyyou?”

POWERTHOUGHT

Boundariesdefineus.Theydefinewhat ismeandwhat isnotme.AboundaryshowsmewhereIendandsomeoneelsebegins,leadingmetoasenseofownership.KnowingwhatIamtoownandtakeresponsibilityforgivesmefreedom.—HenryCloud

Day27

HEEDTHEWARNINGSIGNS

Besober,bevigilant;becauseyouradversary thedevilwalksabout likea roaringlion,seekingwhomhemaydevour(1Peter5:8).

DISCIPLINE#27—RECOGNIZEWHENYOURBOUNDARIESAREBEINGCHALLENGEDORVIOLATED

Theenemyandhisinfluencesusuallycomewithwarning.Theproblemis,manyofusarenottrainedtoidentifythewarningsigns.ThisiswhyPeterencouragedustobevigilant.Tobevigilant is to adopt a posture of acute awareness—to bewatchful, particularly in regard todanger.

TodayIamgoingtogiveyouafewwarningsignstolookoutforwhenitcomestotheissueofboundaries.Thesearebehaviorsandtendenciesyoucanwatchforinotherpeople,aswellasyourself.By identifying thesered flags,youwillbeempoweredto takeactionassoonasyou notice someone trying to push your limits, or think that you are personally becomingsusceptibletoweakenedboundaries.

OverEnmeshmentInmanydysfunctionalfamiliesandunhealthyrelationships,peoplebecomeoverlyinvolved

in the details of each other’s life, marriage, and personal relationships. Often there is anunstatedrulethateveryoneshouldthinkthesame,feelthesame,anddoeverythingtogether.Thereisalackofprivacyandnothingyouthink,feel,ordoisyourpersonalbusinessalone,but everyone’s business. You begin to feel that nothing you experience can be kept in theprivacyofyourowndomain.

EmotionalDetachmentThis state occurs when neither you nor anyone else in the group or family is able to

establish any fusion of healthy emotional attachment, affinity, or affiliation of feelings.Everyoneisanislanduntohimorherself—totallyindependentfromeveryoneelse—sothereisnoemotional“glue”thatholdsyouandtheotherstogetherinhealthyunion.

VictimhoodorMartyrdomThose suffering from this symptom identify themselves as a violated victim and become

defensivetowardofffurtherviolation.Theyareoverlysensitive,protective,orclingy.Theydonothesitatetotelleveryoneoftheirvictimizationby“everybody”else.Theyfeel“nobody”canbetrustedandthat“they”—asinotherpeople—arealwaysouttogetthem,underminethem,sabotagethem,anddon’tlikeordon’tappreciatethem.

BlackSheepThese are people who refuse to submit to authority figures—they are determined to do

theirownthingregardlessofwhotheyhurt.Theyseekattentionbybeingthe“bad”one.Oncetheattentionissecured,theymaycontinuetoactoutinan“inyourface”mannerlettingyouknowwhoreallyisthe“boss”—theylive“largeandincharge.”

Chip-on-the-ShoulderTheseare the individualswhohave themost turbulentrelationshipsandcreate themost

toxicenvironmentswithintheworkplaceandwithintheirpersonalandsocialconstellations.Arguments and confrontational situations are commonplace because they are driven byfeelings of victimization, offense, and anger; they convey their rage by bullying, makingthreats,andbeingverballyabusive.

Yes-ManI recently read somewhere that a sign of weakness is perpetually saying “Yes” to

unreasonabledemands,whileasignof strength is theability tosay“No”regardlesshow it

makes the other person feel.Mymother used to describe this kind of person as having no“backbone.” “Yes people” have trouble acknowledging their own needs or right to have anopinion—orthatsaying“No”oftenresultsinanewlevelofrespectfromthosewhostrugglemanagingtheirowntimeandcommitments.

“Asignofstrengthistheabilitytosay“No”regardlesshowitmakestheotherpersonfeel.”

InvisibilityThesearethesocialwallflowers—they“seenoevil,hearnoevil,donoevil.”Theirgoalis

nottobenoticedsothattheirboundariesareneverviolated.Theymaydressdownortakea“vowofsilence”refusingtospeakup,givetheiropinion,orconfront issues.Theyfeelmorecomfortableaspartofthebackgroundsceneryandneverstepnearcenterstage.Theyseemhappytoliveinastateofsocialmalnutritionratherthanriskbeingmisunderstood,rejected,ordisliked.

AloofnessorShynessThissymptomisaresultofinsecurityfromrealorperceivedexperiencesofbeingignored,

hurt, abused, or rejected in thepast. Thesepeople quietly demonstrate that others arenotinvited into their space by habitually crossing their arms and/or legs. This is a defensivepostureofself-protectionusedasakindofpsychologicalfence—likeasignthatclearlyreads,“Notrespassing.”

ColdandDistantBeing cold and distant is a mental posture of indifference that builds walls or barriers

ratherthanbridges—ensuringthatothersdonotpermeate,penetrate,violate,orinvadetheiremotionalorphysicalspace.Theseindividualshavemasteredtheartofmaintainingphysical,emotional,andpsychological“realestate”betweenthemselvesandothers.Boundariesaren’tjustimportant,theyareeverything!Inthiswayanoverdevelopedboundarycansometimesbeworsethananunderdevelopedone.

SmotheringThispersonassumestheroleoftheparentorbecomesanunwelcomeauthorityfigure.This

scenariomightinvolveanoverlyintrusivefriend,theparentofadultchildren,oracompanionwhoconstantlygivesunsolicitedadvice,help,ordirectives.They“fear”foryoursafetyoutof“concern”foryourwell-being,anddon’tleaveyouanyspacetothinkforyourself.

DisassociationThis symptom involves psychological detachment or blanking out during a stressful

emotionalevent.Disassociationwill causean individual to tryand thinkof somethingotherthanwhat ishappening inaneffort to separatehimorher from the feelingsaboutwhat istakingplace.Disassociationmayresultinone’sinabilitytoremembereventsasawaytokeepfromhurting.

POWERPOINT

Inthissection,wearefocusingontakingbackyourpersonalpowerinordertolivemoreresiliently. Heeding these warning signs will save you from forming a destructive soulattachment throughcompromisedboundaries.Knowledge ispower!When someoneexhibitsanyofthesebehaviorstowardyou,itisaclearindicationyourboundariesarebeingtested.

“Tobevigilant,youmustbeself-aware.”Also, don’t be afraid of rigorous self-reflection. If you identify any of these behaviors,

attitudes,ortendenciesinyourownlife,itisabsolutelyessentialforyoutoacknowledgeandadjustthem.Tobevigilant,youmustbeself-aware.Remainfirmandforbidyourlinestobecompromised.

POWERTHOUGHT

“No”isacompletesentence.—AnneLamott

Day28

LIVEETHICALLY

But for this book [the Bible] we could not know right from wrong. —AbrahamLincoln

DISCIPLINE#28—LIVEACCORDINGTOGOD’SSTANDARDS

Thenextthreedaysarespecificallycommittedtohelpingyouestablishnewboundariesinyourlife.

Remember,boundarieshelpyoutosay“No”whenitiseasiertosay“Yes.”Theyhelpyoutosay“No”whenyourconvictions,beliefs,andvaluesmightbecompromised.Boundarieshelpyou to say “No” when you, your loved ones, friends, or people in general could beinconveniencedorharmed,orwhenyourcharacter,reputation,personalstability,security,orsafetyisjeopardized.Boundariesdonotmerelyrestrict,theyenhanceyouroverallqualityoflife.

As Christians, we often think we must say “Yes” to everyone because it is a sign ofgenerosityandcompassion.However,thiscanalsobeasignofweakness,fear,andlaziness.TheonlyOnewhodeservesyourunqualified,continuous“Yes”isGod.Bysaying“Yes”toHisstandards anddirectives for living, youwill establish a powerful boundary in your life. ThepathwaytoresiliencyiscarvedoutbyyourwillingnesstoyieldtoGod’scommandments—andyourdesiretopursuetheextraordinaryrewardsthatsubmittingtoHiswillproduces.

“Thepathway to resiliency is carved out by yourwillingness to yield toGod’scommandments.”

Hereisthefirstpartofmythree-foldchallengetoyou—liveethically.

LiveEthically—WhatDoesItLookLike?Atfirstglance,thismaysoundsomewhatvague.IfIweretoaskyou,“Whatcomestomind

whenIusethephrase,liveethically,”youmightthinkofabusinesspersonwhoconductstheiraffairsabovereproach.Perhapsan imagecomestomindofacertainmanorwomanwhoiscommitted toa life ofmoral excellence.Maybe thereare specificbehaviors that youwouldattachtoan“ethicallifestyle.”

Here is the problem with this thought process. It tends to sound dull, not because thebehaviorsoractionsareincorrect,butbecausethereisnoultimatevisionforthebenefitsthatethicalstandardsaredesignedtoproduce.

Allowmetoelaborateonwhatitmeanstotrulyliveethically.It isnotamatterofsimplyadheringtoasetofrules—butamatterofdelightinginthem.KingDavidwrote,“IwilldelightmyselfinYourcommandments”(Ps.119:47).God’scommandmentsarenotburdensome(see1John5:3).His standardswerenotdesigned tomake life tolerableatbest, andmiserableatworst. This paradigm needs to be boldly confronted, as there is a significant disconnectbetween a contemporary culture that observes God’s commands as restrictive or hostiletowardlivingafun,fulllife,andtheperspectiveofKingDavid.

“Livingethically transcendsmererulesandregulationswhenthere isasolidfoundationandclearpurposefortheirimplementation.”

I realize that we live in a culture where many people observe commandments asburdensome—even those in theChristian community. The problem has little to dowith the

commandmentsinandofthemselves,butthisnegativeperspectiveofwhatitmeanstoadheretoastandardofholiness.Livingethicallytranscendsmererulesandregulationswhenthereisasolidfoundationandclearpurposefortheirimplementation.

MaintainingtheBalanceInhistimelessSermonontheMount,Jesusgivesnumerousinstructionsanddirectiveson

how to conduct one’s daily life, but He also offers several corresponding blessings for thedescribed behaviors. Even Jesus endured the cross,motivated by the joy thatHis sacrificewouldreleasetotheentireworld,fromgenerationtogeneration(seeHeb.12:2).AlthoughthepainHeenduredwasexcruciating,Hewasabletobearitwithsomemeasureofjoy,havingaclearvisionforwhatHisactionswouldproduceinhumanity.HesawreconciliationtakeplacebetweenGodandman—arelationshipthathadbeenestrangedbecauseofsinandrebellion.HesawallofhumanitybeinggiventheopportunitytobefilledwiththeHolySpirit—arealitythatwasonlyexperienced inmeasureundertheOldCovenant. Inshort, JesusmaintainedaclearvisionofthebenefitsthatHiscommitmenttoGod’scommandwouldproduce.

WeneedtofollowJesus’modelinourlives,knowingthatGod’smotivesarepureandinourbestinterest.Remember,ScripturetellsusthatGod’sthoughtsandwaysarehigherthanours(see Isa. 55:9). He is able to look out for your best interest, evenwhen you are unable toeffectivelydosoforyourself.Hehasprovidedyouwithclear instructionsforstayinginthatsupernatural sweet spotwhilewalking through themire andminutia of daily life.BydoingwhatGodhasoutlinedinHiscommandmentsandthroughtheinstructionofHisWord,youarebuildingboundariesthatkeepyoualignedwithHisplanandpurposeforyourlife.

KeepingtheVisionWhenyouunderstandthat livingethicallymeansbuildingboundaries thatdonotrestrict

you,butactuallypropelyouforward,yourmotivationforembracingsuchalifestylechanges.Theproblemhappenswhenyouloseclarity.Youmayunderstandalloftherules,butnotwhattheyareintendedtodoforyou.Visionenhancesvalue.Ifyoucanseethatdivineperimetersprotect and enhance your quality of life, your understanding of what it looks like to liveethicallyshifts.Itisnolongeradrag,butadelightasyouacknowledgethebenefitsoflivinginagreementwithGod’sstandardof“rightliving.”

POWERPOINT

Living ethically does restrict you—it restricts you from entering into soul ties andattachmentsthatcanutterlyruinyourlifeandderailyourdestiny.Thistypeofrestrictionisaverypositivething,asitkeepsyouwalkingalongGod’sdesignatedpathway.

Remember,God’scommandmentsarenotburdensome to theonewhodesires towalk intrue freedom and liberty, as His regulations are not restrictive, but cautionary. They areprescribed boundaries to help you maintain a steady course on the path to abundant life,helpingyoubypassthesnareofsoulties.

POWERTHOUGHT

ForthisistheloveofGod,thatwekeepHiscommandments.AndHiscommandmentsarenotburdensome(1John5:3).

Day29

CLEARLYSETYOURLIMITS

Blessed is themanwhowalksnot in thecounselof theungodly,norstands in thepathofsinners,norsitsintheseatofthescornful;buthisdelightisinthelawoftheLord,andinHislawhemeditatesdayandnight(Psalm1:1-2).

DISCIPLINE#29—PLAYTOANAUDIENCEOFONE—THEONE

Itissoimportantforustoliveethically,asthisveryfoundationwilleithermakeorbreakusin our relationships with other people. The choice to pursue the ethical life is, as wediscoveredyesterday,aboundarythatrestrictsusonlyinthegreatestofways.ItkeepsusonGod’spath,andpreventsusfromveeringoffintoalien,dangerousterritory.

Remember,yourcontinuous“Yes”belongsexclusivelytoGod—nottootherpeople.Youdonotoweeveryoneandeverythingyour“Yes.”This typeofovercommitmentwill renderyouuselesswhen it comes to fulfilling yourpersonaldestiny.Keep inmind, this is not a call toselfishness,butofgoodstewardship.Ourconsecrated“Yes”toGodactuallyempowersustosay“Yes”or“No”inthecontextofourrelationships.Ifapersonorsituationistemptingyoutocompromiseyour“Yes”toGod,thenthatclearlydemandsaresounding“No.”Simple.

Iwanttofurtherexplorethisprinciple—specificallyoutlinedinPsalm1:1-2—asitprovidesanessentialkeytosettingclearlimitsinourrelationships.

Part1-AvoidtheBaitInthefirstpartofPsalm1,weseethatthereisablessingpromisedtothosewhodonot

engage in sin, wickedness, and ungodliness (see Ps. 1:1). Yet the psalmist does not simplydeliver us awarning, outlining a bunch of negatives thatwe are told to avoid.He actuallyprovidesthesolutioninthefollowingverse,givingusthesecretofsettingclearlimitsineverysingleareaofourlives.

Predominantly, the enemywill use people to bait us—to get us into the place defined inPsalm1:1,wherewe receiveungodlycounsel,modelungodlyhabits, andultimately, liveanungodlylifestyle.Formostofus,thelastthingwewanttobecomeinvolvedwithisthesinfulbehaviorthatcanultimatelyleadtobondage,pain,andevendeath.However,iftheenemycanpackagesinintheformofaperson—perhapsevenaclosefriend,familymember,orlovedone—hecanlureus intohistrapandthus launchus intoagradual,diabolicalprocessofmoraldeprogrammingandcompromise.

Part2—TheSecrettoSettingClearLimitsThisiswhyourdisciplineofalwayssaying“Yes”toGodissoimportant.Whatdoesthislook

likeinthecontextofsettingclearlimitsinrelationships?Psalm1verse2says:

ButhisdelightisinthelawoftheLord,andinHislawhemeditatesdayandnight.

You avoid taking the enemy’s bait—and thereby stepping into his snare—when your“delight is inthelawoftheLord.”Inotherwords,thismeansyour“Yes”belongstoGod—adelighted“Yes”atthat!Thisisyoursecrettosettingclearlimits.

Everything God invites you to say “Yes” to, in terms of His principles, precepts, andcommandments,isnotonlyintendedtopreserveandenhanceyourlife,butisalsopurposedtoprotect you from compromise in relationships. God is not vague when it comes to Hisinstructionsonwhatareacceptableandinappropriatebehaviors,decisions,andactivities.

Inaddition,youhavetheHolySpiritprovidinginsightanddirectiontoyourconscience.Hewilloften“flag”somethingthatisnotright—somethingyoushouldnotbeparticipatingin,orallowing in your life. Such a warning might be difficult for you to embrace and heed,especiallywhenthepersonattemptingtocrossyourboundarylinesissomeoneclosetoyou.Nevertheless,youmustrecognizethatobediencetotheHolySpiritproduceslife.Hewillnotlead you toward situations or relationships that are ripe with the potential of producing

unhealthysoulties.Thisismoreoftenaby-productofgraduallycompromisingyourpersonalboundarylines.

“Soul attachments are produced by gradually lowering your guard,compromisingyourstandards,anddismissing thegentle tugof theHoly

Spirit.”Thisishowdangeroussoulattachmentsarebirthed.Rarely,ifever,aretheytheresultof

one instantaneousanddynamicencounterwithanotherpersonthat inamomentturnsyourlifearound.Thoughthiscananddoeshappen,suchistheexceptionandnotthenorm.Byandlarge, soul attachments are produced by a lengthy process of lowering your guard andcompromisingyourrelationshipstandards,whiledismissingthegentletugoftheHolySpiritinyourheart.

Set your relationship limits on principles outlined in theWord of God. Remember, your“Yes” toHim isnotoutofobligationormechanicalduty,but isayieldednessoutofdelightbecauseyouhaveaclearvisionofwhatobedienceproduces.

Relationshipboundariestendtofallintofivebasiccategories:

1. Theamountoftimeyouarewillingtospare

2. Theamountofpersonalspaceyouarewillingtoshare

3. Theamountofmoneyyouarewillingtospend

4. Theamountofemotionalenergyyouarewillingtoinvest

5. ThedegreeofaccesstoyourpersonalpropertyyouarewillingtogiveRecognizeyourlimitsinallfiveareasandverbalizethem.Nooneisamindreader,soyou

mustestablishclearrulesand limitationsat thebeginningofallnewrelationshipsandtakecourage in renegotiating the old ones. Learn to say “No” andmean it. Stand firm againstmanipulation, emotional blackmail, physical ormental violations, abuses, orhurts. If anyofthesehappen,gethelp.

Tosettheseboundaries,youmustgetintouchwithwhoyoureallyare,whatyouwant,aswellaswhatyouneedfromothers.CertainthingswillnotbespelledoutplainlyinScripture.Thisiswhereyou’llneedtorelyontheHolySpiritaswellastheguidingprinciplesofGod’sWord,andultimately,theprincipleofbeingagoodstewardofyouandyoursoul.

POWERPOINT

Knowwhat you donot want and need from others. Learn how to articulate what thosethingsare.Gettoknowwhenyourexpectationsandlimitationsarebeingviolatedandspeakup.Setclear standards foryourselfandstick to them.Every relationship involvesacertainamountofcompromise,butyoushouldnevergiveupfundamentalpartsofwhoyouarejusttobe with someone or please someone, especially if your core values and convictions,personhood,orpropertyarebeingviolated.

Themoreyouknowaboutyourself,theeasieritwillbetocommunicatewhoyouarewithothersandsetclearlydefinedboundaries.

POWERTHOUGHT

Yourpersonalboundariesprotecttheinnercoreofyouridentityandyourrighttomakechoices.—GerardManleyHopkins

Day30

RESPECTOTHERS’BOUNDARIES

Respectbeginswiththisattitude:“Iacknowledgethatyouareacreatureofextremeworth.Godhasendowedyouwithcertainabilitiesandemotions.ThereforeIrespectyouasaperson.Iwillseektounderstandyouandgrantyouthefreedomtothinkdifferently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may notexperience.”

Respectmeans that yougive theotherperson the freedom tobean individual.—GaryChapman

DISCIPLINE#30—HONORTHEBOUNDARIESOFOTHERS

Honoringtheboundariesofotherpeople isadirectexpressionofyour loveforthemandthefulfillmentofoneofJesus’twomaincommandments.

Today we will look at the relevance of “The Golden Rule” when it comes to respectingothers’boundaries.Jesussaid,“Youshallloveyourneighborasyourself”(Matt.22:39).Oneofthe ways we reflect this love toward our neighbors, or fellow human being, is bydemonstratinghonorandrespectfortheirpersonalboundarylines.

Respecting the boundaries of others is a two-fold process: It beginswith loving yourselfenoughtoestablishyourownboundarylines.Onlythenareyoupoisedtochannelthissamelovetowardotherpeopleinhonoringtheirboundaries.

ItBeginswithLovingYourselfSettingclearboundariesinyourlifedemonstratesthatyouloveyourself.Somelookupon

thephrase“loveyourself”asbeingvainorselfish,denotingnarcissism.Thisisfalsehumility.Ihopebynowthatyourecognizeyourworthandimportance—toGod,tocreation,tothishourinhistory,andtoyourfellowhumanbeings.Yourbirthwasnotaccidental;itwasintentional.Youweredesigned for thismoment. There is no one like you—thereneverhasbeen in thewhole of history, and neverwill be. You are here by God’s divine design, and thus, shouldexpress appropriate thanksgiving toHimby lovingandhonoring yourself. Formore on thissubject,Iencourageyoutorevisitthefirstbookinthisseries,The40DaySoulFast.Youhaveevery reason to value the unique individual that God created you to be. This is the veryfoundation of empowered living and the beginning of setting clearly defined boundaries.Conversely,ifyoudonotloveorrespectyourself,youlivewithoutrestrictionsandboundariesbecomemeaningless.

““True discovery of your value exposes soul attachments for what theyare.””

This is one of the reasons why soul attachments are so destructive—especially inrelationships.Generally,soultiesdistractyoufromgraspingyourvalue.Themomentyoustepintoatruediscoveryofyourvalue,soulattachmentsareexposedforwhattheygenuinelyare.

Again, the key to building personal boundaries, and in turn, honoring the boundaries ofothers,isanappreciationofyourownvalueandworth.Itisimpossibletogiveawaywhatyoudonotfirstpossess.

ItEndsWithHonoringOthers’BoundariesIf you loveyourself enough toestablishpersonalboundaries, youareperfectlypoised to

honor the boundary lines of other people. You understand that each person has rights,limitations,needs,wants,desires,feelings,dreams,expectations,values,andgoals.

Sometimesit isdifficulttounderstandwhypeopledothethingstheydo,solearnhowtotalk openly, ask questions, and engage in meaningful dialogue. Take a proverbial walk inanotherperson’sshoes.Viewtheirlivesfromtheirperspectiveratherthanyours.Asyoutalkaboutyourneedsandlimitations,rights,dreams,goals,expectations,etc.,encourageotherstodothesame.Betransparentandreceptive.Trytounderstandthemandencouragethemtounderstandandsupportyou.Andalways,alwaysseasonyourconversationswithlove,respect,andempathicunderstanding.

TheEnd-GoalRespecting the boundaries of other people has a strategic end-goal. When we sincerely

listentooneanotherandtaketoheartoneanother’sneedsanddesires,aswellaslimitations,the understanding that is exchanged builds up and edifies. It is a sign of both personalmaturity and exponential progress toward developing the kind of community that ChristenvisionedforHisChurch.

ApostlePaulsetsforththisvisionwhileaddressingthechurchinEphesus:

Weshouldnolongerbechildren,tossedtoandfroandcarriedaboutwitheverywindofdoctrine, by the trickery ofmen, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but,speakingthetruthinlove,may[we]growupinallthingsintoHimwhoisthehead—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every jointsupplies,accordingtotheeffectiveworkingbywhicheverypartdoesitsshare,causesgrowthofthebodyfortheedifyingofitselfinlove(Ephesians4:14-16).

Byspeaking the truth in love,we are communicating openly and transparentlywith oneanother.Nomoreshow.Nomorepretense.Nomorehypocrisy.Clearandhonestperson-to-person communication is absolutely essential ifwearegoing tobring this vision topass inboth our individual lives and in our communities. To work together effectively, we mustexpressmutualhonorforoneanother.Theprimaryplaceforthistransactionofhonortooccurisinbuildinghealthyboundaries.

POWERPOINT

Boundaries were never designed to divide and separate people from one other. On thecontrary,theyarepurposedtoenrichourrelationships.

As mentioned previously, all of us have limits. This is the normal, human condition.Unfortunately,theacceptednormal insocietyhasbeentopushtheenvelopeoftheselimits,and as a result, destroy countless relationships. If anything, boundaries are relationshippreservers.Theyensurethemaintenanceofhealthyinteractionswiththepeopleinourlives.Bybothestablishing theseboundariespersonallyandrespecting them inothers,wematureinto the body that Paul describes in Ephesians 4, with every joint working togetherharmoniouslytounveilaclearerpictureofChristintheearth.

POWERTHOUGHT

Loveothersaswellasyouloveyourself(Matthew22:39MSG).

WeekSeven

ENCOUNTERINGCHRIST

IknewthatIhadcomefacetofacewithsomeonewhosemerepersonalitywassofascinatingthat,ifIallowedittodoso,itwouldabsorbmywholenature,mywholesoul,myveryartitself.—OscarWilde

NoneIencounterwillbeabletoresistMe(Isaiah47:3AMP).

Last week, we explored the importance of building new boundaries in our lives. Weconcludedwith Ephesians 4,where Paul gave us a vision ofwhatwe aremoving toward—evolving intoacorporatebody that releasesa fuller,clearer,morevividexpressionof JesusChrist in the world. Although we are pressing toward the same goal this week, we areapproachingitfromadifferentangle.Thisweekwe’lldigdeeperasweestablishamorefirmandsolidfoundationuponwhichwemustbuildaresilientlife.

Therearerealitiesthattranscendthepractical, thatdictatetheeverydaythingswemustconsistentlydo.Asweworktowardreclaimingthesoulbybuildingamoreresilientlife,Iwanttodiscusstheultimatesoulattachmentthatisofutmostimportance—ourunionandintimacywithChrist.

By building new boundaries, we are protecting ourselves from the prospect of futureharmfulsoulties.Thisisessential,butremember—weneedtoensurethatour“house”isnotonly clean and clear, but also properly filled. The onlyOneworthy of filling our house andpossessingoursoulisChristHimself.Hehealsourpast,definesourpresent,andcreatesourfuture. This week, I want to look at how a transformative encounter with Jesus Christredefinesourapproachtolife.

Remember, Jesus impacted those He encountered by creating a relational, emotionaldefiningmoment.Hedealtwith the issues in the tissues of the soul—the scar tissueof themind.With laser-likeaccuracyHespoketotheoriginoftheproblem;nomatterhowdeeplyrooted theproblemwas—whether the symptomswereblindness,deafness, orparalysis—Hecut through thebondsofapathy,pride, insecurity, shame, regret,or lackofvision, faith,orhope.HefreedthosewhometHimfromthebondsofunforgiveness,bitterness,andoffense—andbydoingsobrokecyclesofblindness,lameness,andoppression.

“Christ’sloveeclipsesyourproblemsbyhealingthepastandgivingyouavisionforabrighterfuture.”

By binding the strongman who holds souls captive—“the accuser of our brethren”(Revelation12:10)—Jesusneverfailedtounlockpotential,vision,understanding,andinsight.WhereverHeshowsupinyourlifetoday,Christ’sloveeclipsesyourproblemsbyhealingthepastandgivingyouavisionforabrighterfuture.

Remember,God’swillistocompletelybreakthesoultiecycleinyourlife.Itisnotenoughforustobereturningtothealtar,weekafterweek,petitioningforfreedomordeliverance—always yet again. Obviously, I am not opposed to anymethod of healing—for freedom anddeliverance are necessary—but they are necessary catalysts intentioned to completelyreposition our lives for resiliency. An encounterwith the livingChrist is a life-transformingmomentwhere thesecyclesarebrokenandanentirelynewmannerofexistence isbirthed.Thisweek,wewilllookatfivekeystomaintainingalifestyleofencounteringChrist.

Day31

KEEPAPOSITIVEEXPECTATION

Wehavealwaysheldtothehope,thebelief,theconviction,thatthereisabetterlife,abetterworldbeyondthehorizon.—FranklinD.Roosevelt

DISCIPLINE#31—LETHOPEINTRODUCEYOUTOANEWWAYOFLIVING

Howmanytimeshaveyouheardthephrase,“Don’tgetyourhopesup”?Thisisoftenstatedinthecontextoftryingtobringsomeone’sunrealisticexpectationsback“downtoearth”inanefforttogroundandbalancethem.

Theproblemwiththisapproachisthatourpropensitytotreathopelikesomethingetherealand impossible prevents us from dreaming with a positive expectation. If you want toexperiencearesilientlifestyle—freefromtheentanglementsofthepastthatdrainedyourlifeandenergy—youneedtobelieveitispossible.Youmustbeabletodreamofarealitybeyondthe one you have been imprisoned in. Dreams flourish in communities and atmospheres ofhope. However, where there is no hope, there is no possibility, and where there is nopossibility,thereisnosubstancefordreaming.

“Dreamsflourishincommunitiesandatmospheresofhope.”Hopeisabsolutelyessentialforbirthingarealitythatisbeyondtheonewehavepreviously

knownandexperienced.However,youarenotgoingtoexperienceorreceivethistypeofhopefromtheworld;itisonlybirthedthroughanencounterwithChrist.HeistheAuthorofhope—andasScripturereveals,thehopeHebringsintoourlives“doesnotdisappoint”(Rom.5:5).Hope, according to Scripture, is the confident expectation of a positive outcome. This isexactlywhatJesusreleasedtoeverypersonHeencountered.

TodaywewilllookatapowerfulaccountfromtheGospelofJohnwhereanencounterwithChristunleashedhopeintoanotherwisehopelesssituation.Wewillexaminetwodimensionsof the story, evaluating the impact hopelessness had upon a woman’s life, and morespecifically,whathopedidtoelevateherbeyondadysfunctionalanddissatisfyingexistence,characterizedbyunhealthysoulattachments.

TheEncounterattheWellAnordinarywomangoingaboutherbusinessoneordinarydayhappeneduponJesusatan

ordinarywell.Thatbriefconversationchangedherlifeforever.JesusopenedhereyestotheGoodNews:HehadcomesothatanyonecouldworshipGodwherevertheywere“inspiritandtruth”(John4:24),drinkfromthewaterofeternallifeandneverthirstagain.

Manyofusarefamiliarwiththespiritualexchangethattookplaceinthisrichnarrative.Iwant to start by specifically examining the present condition of the woman’s life and theadverseimpactofhopelessness.Itisobviousthatshestruggledwiththisonseverallevels.Forthesakeoftime,let’sexplorethreeobviousones:relational,gender,andmoralhopelessness.Relationalhopelessness.ThewomanwasastonishedthatJesus,aJew,wouldinteractwith

notonlyaSamaritan,butalsoadivorcedwoman.TheMessageversionof John4:9clarifiesthat“Jews in thosedayswouldn’tbecaughtdead talking toSamaritans.”Normal rulesandcustom forbade Jesus fromhavingany typeof communicationwith thiswomanwhatsoever.However,suchsocialconventionsneverstoppedJesusfrombringinghopetothehopelessbyhelpingthemembracetheirfuturefromacompletelytransformedperspective.Genderhopelessness. The paradigm thiswoman had embraced followed a certain order,

whereJewsdidnotinteractwithSamaritans,andwomenwereregardedinaverylowmannerinsociety.Yet,allittookwasanencounterwithChristtocompletelydemolishthisperspectiveandredefineherreality—somuchsothat thiswoman,aftermeetingJesus,proceededtogo“herway intothecity,andsaidtothemen, ‘Come,seeaManwhotoldmeall thingsthat I

everdid.Could thisbe theChrist?’Then theywentoutof thecityandcame toHim” (John4:28-30).AfteroneconversationwithChrist,theSamaritanwomanwentfrombeingunsureofwhoshewastobecomingaboldwitnessofthisMan,Jesus.Moral hopelessness. The woman in this story is most notorious for her checkered past.

Jesusboldlycallsheroutonthis, identifyingthatshewasnotcurrentlymarried,butrather,shewaspresentlylivingwithamanoutofwedlockafterhavingbeenmarriedfivetimes—yetJesusdoesnotcondemnher.Hedidnotfocusonhercurrentcircumstances,butgaveheravisionofabetterfuture.Jesussaidtoher,“WhoeverdrinksofthewaterthatIshallgivehimwillnever thirst.But thewater that Ishallgivehimwillbecome inhima fountainofwaterspringingupintoeverlastinglife”(John4:14).Hegaveherastartlingnewvisionofanentirelydifferentkindoflife.Overcomeandoverjoyed,sherantotelleveryone,andasaresultofherwitness, she became a respected voice in her city. “Many of the Samaritans of that citybelievedinHimbecauseofthewordofthewomanwhotestified”(John4:39).

Jesus did not remain fixated on this woman’s shortcomings and failures—He was moreintentonexposinghertonewrealitiesthandraggingherthroughpastmemories.Bymerelyspeakingwiththiswoman,Jesusopenedasignificantdoorofhopeintoherlife,breakingdownbarrierscreatedbyrace,gender,andsocialstatus,andcreatingapositiveexpectationofgoodthingsahead.Inoneday,shewentfrombeingadisreputabletramptoareveredtestifieroftheTruth.

POWERPOINT

This is thepowerofhope inaction.Thekey isnotdefininghopeby the standardof theworld,wherethereisnosubstance,sothethingwe“hope”formayormaynotcometopass.It is impossible forustobeconfidentandpositive ifwhatwearebelievingfor isanunsurereality.ThisisnotwhatJesusgavetheSamaritanwoman.

WhatJesusoffersisthevisionofacompletelynewversionofreality.ThisvisioncreatesapositiveexpectationwithinusthatwhatHerevealedaspossiblecanandwillcometofruitioninourlives.

POWERTHOUGHT

Nowfaithisthesubstanceofthingshopedfor…(Hebrews11:1).

Day32

SEEPASTBARRIERS

Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to thismountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move; and nothing will beimpossibleforyou(Matthew17:20).

DISCIPLINE#32—BREAKTHROUGHBOUNDARIESBYFOLLOWINGTHESPIRIT

AnencounterwithJesuselevatesyourunderstandingofwhatisbothpossibleandavailableto you. Suddenly, the vision for your future and destiny become larger because you are nolongerviewingthroughameremortallens.Yourecognizethecurrentavailabilityofwhatwaspreviouslyimpossible.YourencounterwiththeDivineactuallycreatesadeposit—theSpiritofGod dwelling within you. Though Jesus left the earth bodily, He did not leave the planetwithoutHisSpirit,andHisSpiritspecializesinreleasingimpossibilitiesintothenaturalrealm.HewastheforcebehindcreationinGenesis1:2,aswellasthesameSpiritwhoraisedChristfromthedead(seeRom.8:11).

Before theHoly Spirit, therewas a significant barrier preventing us from accessing themind, thoughts, and will of God. This barrier was a human condition that remainedincompatible with an indwelling habitation of the Holy Spirit. Under the Old Covenant,encounterswithGoddidnothavetheabilitytoreleaseadepositintothecoreofhumanity,forhumankindwasstillunderthevicioustyrannyofsin.

“An encounter with Jesus elevates your understanding of what is bothpossibleandavailabletoyou.”

ThebarrierofoursinconditionthuscreatedabarrierwithGod.ThisbarrierwasbrokenbecauseofJesus’blood,butsadly,manyofusstilllivewithabarriermentality.

ANewLenstoSeeNewLifeToenjoytheresilient lifeGodhaspurposedforus, it is foundationalthatwefirstbelieve

sucharealityisaccessibleandavailabletous.Manyneverstepintotheirdestiny,notbecauseof God’s unwillingness, but because they refuse to see beyond the barrier of covenantaltransition. There was a significant transition that took place between the Old and NewCovenants,makingprovisionforyouandItoexperienceanewwayofseeingandlivingfromGod’sperspective.Unfortunately,manybelievethatthislifestyleisinaccessibletothem—eventhoughJesuspurchaseditontheirbehalfandmadeitavailablethroughtheHolySpirit.

Isaiah64:4similarlystates,“Forsincethebeginningoftheworldmenhavenotheardnorperceivedby theear,norhas theeye seenanyGodbesidesYou,whoacts for theonewhowaitsforHim.”Hereweconfront thebarrierofmysteryand inaccessibility.While thereareentire realmsof knowledge that are veiled fromoureyes, there is alsoanewpossibility ofaccesstowhatwaspreviouslyinaccessibleandunknowable.ApostlePaulmadethisveryclearinFirstCorinthians2,wherehecitesIsaiah64:4andfollowsitupwithanewreality:“Butasit iswritten: ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart ofman thethingswhichGodhaspreparedforthosewholoveHim’”(1Cor.2:9).Hecontinuesbyadding,“ButGodhasrevealedthemtousthroughHisSpirit”(1Cor.2:10).

EverybarrierhasbeenremovedforyouandmebecausewehavebecomeinhabitedbytheSpiritofGod.TheverySpiritthatwroughttheimpossiblethroughthemiraclesandwondersofChrist dwells inside you. Just as nothingwas impossible for the discipleswho trusted inJesusofNazareth,suchisthecaseforthosetodaywhofollowtheleadingoftheHolySpirit.

HerearethethreebarriersthatJesusbrokethroughsoyoucouldlivearesilientlife.

OpenedHeavensFromthebeginningofHisministryonearth,Jesusbrokethroughthebarriersoftimeand

space.Hebroughtthesupernatural,eternaldimensiontobearonthenaturalandtime-boundworldwelivein.Hedefiedtheforcesofnaturebywalkingonwater,turningwaterintowine,raising thedead,and thenreturning fromthedead. InHis famousencounterwith John theBaptist,uponrisingupfrombeingbaptized,“TheheavenswereopenedtoHim,andHesawthe Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting upon Him” (Matt. 3:16). Everyonepresent heard God’s voice break through to the earth from heaven declaring, “This is MybelovedSon,inwhomIamwellpleased”(Matt.3:17).ThatwasadefiningmomentforJesus.Fromthatpointforward,whereverJesuswent,theheavensopened—andGod’svoicecouldbeheard and His Spirit felt on all He touched. Because of Jesus, the supernatural realm ofhearingGod’svoiceandexperiencingthemiraculoushasbecomepossibletoallwhoarefilledwiththeHolySpirit.

“The supernatural realm of hearing God’s voice and experiencing themiraculousispossibletoallwhoarefilledwiththeHolySpirit.”

OpenedMindsWhenareligiousscholarbythenameofNicodemussecretlycametoconferwithJesus,he

wasgiventhekeystosalvation.Jesustoldhimthatonlybybeingbornagain—bornnotoftheflesh,butoftheSpirit—couldanyoneenterintotheKingdomofGod.Thiswasarevolutionaryconceptthatwouldshatterallformerreligiousbeliefs—thatwhomsoeverisbornoftheSpiritwillseeGod’sKingdom.Notonlythat,butJesusalsomadeclearthattherearetwosystemsinoperation—the fleshly, temporal, visible, world system, and the heavenly, eternal, invisible,spiritualsystem.For“Thatwhich isbornof the flesh is flesh,and thatwhich isbornof theSpiritisspirit”(John3:6).Jesuswentontoinquire,“IfIhavetoldyouearthlythingsandyoudonotbelieve,howwillyoubelieveifItellyouheavenlythings?”(John3:12).

Let’smakesurewedon’tdoubtHimwhenHespeakstous—evenifwhattheHolySpiritspeaksseemsbeyondourabilitytoprocessandcomprehend.Remember,theSpirithasmadeaccesstothesupernaturalthoughtsandwaysofGodpossible.YieldtoHim;Hewillleadyouintoalltruth(seeJohn16:13).

OpenedPotentialIn Johnchapter5,aman layparalyzedbesideapoolalongwithmanyotherpeoplewho

wereblind, lame, andparalyzed, “waiting for themoving of thewater” (John 5:3). The keyword here is “waiting.” Thismanwas surrounded by peoplewho had no vision—whowereunabletomakeanyprogress,blind,nogoalsoraspirationforthefuture;halted,stagnated,withered,andatrophying—all“waiting”forsomethingtohappen.Thesewerewoundedsoulswhohadbeenemotionallyhandicappedbyshame,pain,rejectionandbitterness.

Forthirty-eightyearsthismanwatchedotherpeoplemoveoutaheadandtakewhattheyneeded.Forthirty-eightyears,hegavehispersonalpowerawayandresignedhimselftobeaproduct of his environment. For thirty-eight years he lived with self-imposed limitationscappinghispotential.Jesuscamealongandaskedhimwhatitwashewanted,thentoldhim,“Rise,takeupyourbedandwalk”(John5:8).Jesus’questionchallengedhim.Withnocrutch,hegainedstrengthandresiliencetodefytheodds,surmounthiscondition,andlivethelifeofhisdreams.Asaresult,themangotupandwentonhisway.TheHolySpiritisstillaskingthesamequestiontoday,“Whatdoyouwant?”

POWERPOINT

TheSpiritofGod lives insideyou;Heoffersaccess toanendless sourceof supernaturalpotential.Pressthroughthebarriersandembracetheresilient lifethatGodhaswaitingforyouontheotherside!

POWERTHOUGHT

Onlythosewhoattempttheabsurdcanachievetheimpossible.—AlbertEinstein

Day33

FOLLOWGOD’SLEAD

PrayerisputtingoneselfinthehandsofGod,atHisdisposition,andlisteningtoHisvoiceinthedepthofourhearts.—MotherTeresa

DISCIPLINE#33—TRANSFERCOMPLETECONTROLTOTHEHOLYSPIRIT

Yesterday,wediscoveredthatweareindweltbytheverySpiritthatempoweredtheLordJesusChrist.ThesameSpiritthatbreaksthroughnaturalbarriers,openingoureyestonewpossibilities,istheveryOneJesussenttodivinelydirectourlives.ThatishowHeworks.FirstHe graces ourminds to embrace new realities, and then shows us how to actuallywalk inthesenewrealities.

Today you are in a position to break the cycles of “former realities” and in exchange,embraceanentirelyupgradedlifestylecharacterizedbyempowerment,victory,andresiliency.Underthe“oldway”ofliving,thingstendedtobehaphazard,visionless,andaccidental.Lifehappened.Therewasno intentionalityorspecific focus.Whateversoul tiesyouhad,be itarelationship,stateofbeing,allegiance,orwayof life—thosetiesdictatedthecourseofyourlife.IpraybythispointyouseethatthisisnottherealityGodwillsforyou.

Asyouhavebeenstudyingthesedifferentexchangesanddysfunctions,myprayer is thatthe Holy Spirit has been working with you to break old habits and old lifestyles, thuspreparingyourmindtoreceivefreshvisionofanewwayofliving—resilientliving.Forthistobecomealifestyleandnotmerelyatemporaryhigh,therearesomebestpracticesweshouldapply.

FollowDivineDirectionWhen Jesus encountered amanwhowas paralyzed—unable tomove—stuck in the same

placeyearinandyearout,Hegavethatmandirection.Hesaidtotheparalytic,“Arise, takeupyourbed,andgotohishouse”(Matt.9:6),andimmediatelytheman“aroseanddepartedforhome”(Matt.9:7).

Whenyoufeelparalyzedbylife’scircumstances,askJesustoraiseyouupandpointyouintherightdirection.Jesussaid,“Ask,anditwillbegiventoyou;seek,andyouwillfind;knock,and itwillbeopenedtoyou” (Luke11:9).For“thestepsofagoodmanareorderedby theLord,andHedelights inhisway.Thoughhe fall,heshallnotbeutterlycastdown;For theLordupholdshimwithHishand”(Ps.37:23-24).Reachupfromwhereveryouareandreceivedirectionforyourlife.

Remember,God’sdirectionforyourlifedoesnotincludeyouremainingtrappedinavicioussoul cycle of bondage,deliverance, anda temporary seasonof freedom,only to return to apreviouslyparalyzedstateofbeing.Hisgoodplanistocompletelybreakthecycle,andshowyouhowtoexperienceanentirelynewwayoflife.

ListentotheHolySpiritandobeyHisvoice.HespeaksthroughScripture.Hespeakstothedeepplacesof yourheart.He speaks througha renewedmind.Value thevoiceof theHolySpirit,forthisisGodspeakingtoyou!

ReceiveFreshVisionJesus came across a blind man begging in the street. His disciples asked whether his

blindnesswasa resultof theman’s sinsor the sinsofhisparents. Jesusanswered,“You’reaskingthewrongquestion.You’relookingforsomeonetoblame.Thereisnosuchcause-effecthere.Look instead forwhatGodcando” (John9:3MSG).WhatGodcando includesgivingvision.Jesuswentontosay,“Icameintotheworldtobringeverythingintotheclearlightofday,makingallthedistinctionsclear,sothatthosewhohaveneverseenwillsee”(John9:39MSG).

Lukegaveanaccount of Jesusproclaiming, “TheLordhas sentme…togive sight to theblind” (Luke4:18CEV). Jesuscamesothatyouwouldnever lackvisionor insight intoyoursituation. In the sameway, theHolySpirit carries on the vision-releasingministry of Jesus,

revealing God’s perfect plan and purpose for your life. He is setting you up for a visiontransition. Previously, under the tyranny of soul ties, your vision was clouded. Clarity wasscarce,asyouwereyokedtodestructivepeople,cycles,andcircumstances.Asyouarenowfreefromthisoldway,Iencourageyoutobeginseeingyourselfasafreeperson.Youhavenotmerelytastedorexperiencedfreedom—youarefree.Letthisbeyournewvisionoflife.

“The Holy Spirit carries on the vision-releasing ministry of Jesus,revealingGod’sperfectplanandpurposeforyourlife.”

IencourageyoutoseektheHolySpirittorestoreperfectsightandclaritywhereyouarehaving trouble adjusting your focus. Ask Him to open your eyes as He did for theman inBethsaida—“Jesusplacedhishandsontheman’seyesagain,andhiseyeswereopened.Hissightwascompletelyrestored,andhecouldseeeverythingclearly”(Mark8:25NLT).

MixGod’sWordwithFaithAnofficerwhoseailingservantwas“paralyzed,dreadfullytormented”(Matt.8:6).sought

outJesusonhisservant’sbehalf.Jesusofferedtogototheman’shousetohealhisservant,buttheofficerknewJesusonlyneededgivethecommandandtheservantwouldbehealed.EncounteringChristgavetheofficerthekindoffaiththatimpressedJesus.Hedeclaredtotheon-lookingcrowd,“Ihavenot foundsuchgreat faith,noteven in Israel” (Matt. 8:10).ThenJesussaid to theofficer,“Goyourway;andasyouhavebelieved,so let itbedone foryou”(Matt.8:13).

EncounteringtheChristwillempoweryoutograbholdoftheWordofGodinfaith.ManyroutinelyandreligiouslystudytheScriptures,butsimplycontinuetoreadabookratherthanencounteringaPerson.ThiswasespeciallytrueforthereligiousleadersofJesus’time,asHecalledouttheircondition:“YousearchtheScriptures,forinthemyouthinkyouhaveeternallife; and these are theywhich testify ofMe” (John5:39). They could probably recite entireportionsofScripturefrommemory,butthepageremainedpowerless.TheauthorofHebrewslets us in on the secret of living an empowered life by properly applying theWord of God—“butthewordwhichtheyhearddidnotprofitthem,notbeingmixedwithfaithinthosewhoheardit”(Heb.4:2).

Jesus taught that your faithmixedwithGod’sWordmakes things happen. You, too, canhearJesussay,“Goyourway;andasyouhavebelieved,soletitbedoneforyou”(Matt.8:13).

POWERPOINT

TheHolySpiritnotonlyempowersyou toseepast restrictivebarriers,butHewill showyouhowtowalkintothenewlifeGodhaspreparedforyou.ThekeyistransferringcompletecontrolofyourlifeintoHismostcapablehands!

POWERTHOUGHT

God’sSpiritbeckons.Therearethingstodoandplacestogo!(Romans8:14MSG)

Day34

LEANIN

Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you(Mark11:22MSG).

DISCIPLINE#34—BEGINTOLIVELIFEGOD’SWAY

Toenjoythebenefitsofthe“God-life,”weneedtoadheretoHisstandardsofliving.Ratherthanloadsofeffort,it’smoreofa leaningin;morethanwork-laden,itisdrivenbyintimacy.Jesussaid,“HedoesonlywhatheseestheFatherdoing.WhatevertheFatherdoes,theSonalsodoes”(John5:19NLT).WheredidJesus“see”whattheFatherwasdoing?Ibelieveitwasduring those refreshing times of solitude and intimacy where, in a place of love andcommunicating,JesuscaughtvisionofthelifestyletheFatherdesiredtoexpressthroughHim.Likewise,wearenottryingtoliveacertainwayorfollowcertainstandardsbecauseweareendeavoringtoearndivinefavor.FavorwasextendedtoyouandmebecauseoftheatoningworkofChrist.Thecross is the loudestdemonstrationofGod’s favor imaginable,andthosewhoreceiveitsworkbecomeinheritorsofthisfavor.

Today,wearenotlookingattoolstohelpusgainGod’sapproval.Rather,wearereviewingthreespecificcharacteristicsofaGod-modeledlifethatnotonlyattractsupernaturalblessing,butalsopositionyoutolivetheresilientlifeyouwerealwaysdesignedtolive.

LeanIntoaLifestyleofForgivenessAswediscovered earlier, one of themost crippling forces on the planet is shame. Jesus

cametoliftupyourhead,cleartheslate,andputyouinrightstandingwithGod.HehumbledHimself so that you wouldn’t be humiliated. He endured the shame of the cross so youwouldn’t have to ever be ashamed again. He covered your disgrace with His grace. Thepsalmistasked,“HowfarhastheLordtakenoursinsfromus?Fartherthanthedistancefromeasttowest!”(Ps.103:12CEV).

Christ’smostbelovedapostle, John,wrotewith thispurpose inmind,“BecauseyoursinsareforgivenyouforHisname’ssake”(1John2:12).Forgivenessisapowerfulforce,anditiswhatGodsetalloftheeventsoftheBibleinmotiontodo.OnlysecondtothepowerofHisforgivenesstowardyouisthepowerHehasgivenyoutoforgiveothers.Neverforget,“hewhohateshisbrotherisindarknessandwalksindarkness,anddoesnotknowwhereheisgoing,becausethedarknesshasblindedhiseyes”(1John2:11).

And in the eloquent words of 19th century American preacher, Edwin Hubbel Chapin,“Neverdoesthehumansoulappearsostrongaswhenitforgoesrevengeanddarestoforgiveaninjury.”

LeanIntoaLifestyleofProvisionIfyouarepoorinspirit,orpoorinsubstance,JesussaidtheSpiritofGodisuponHimfor

suchasyou.HedemonstratedthatnotonlyisHethelifterofyoursoul,providingHisjoyandcomfortwheneveryou’re inneedofspiritualcomfort,butHeiswellabletoprovideforyoumateriallyaswell.“ThosewhoseektheLordshallnotlackanygoodthing”(Ps.34:10)—andPaul reminded us that “God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory byChristJesus”(Phil.4:19).LookatallHewasabletodowithafishortwoandacouplesmallloavesofbread—HefedthefivethousandinMatthew14andthefourthousandinMatthew15.HeprovidedmoneyfortaxesinthemouthofafishinMatthew17;andinLuke5,HesentSimonPeterout to fishuntilhisnets tore from thesizeof thecatch.WhateverHe touchedprospered,andwhateverHetouchesthroughyouwillprosper,too.

YouareaconduitforHimtoflowthrough.Inthesamewaywereceiveandtherebyextendforgiveness,themodelisforustoreceiveandultimatelyreleaseprovision.WestagnatewhenwesimplystoreuptheblessingofGodforourselves.Onceagain,wereturntothemodelofJesus,whichisreinforcedbyHismandate.HefreelyreceivedfromtheFatherandthenfreelygave out of this divine resource. Likewise, His charge to you andme is, “Freely you have

received, freely give” (Matt. 10:8). TheMessage translation speaks directly to the specificissueofprovision—“Youhavebeentreatedgenerously,solivegenerously”(Matt.10:8MSG).

LeanIntoaLifestyleofDeliveranceOneSabbathdayas Jesuswas teaching ina synagogue,he sawawomanwhohadbeen

crippled by an evil spirit. Shewas completely bent over and had been unable to stand upstraightforeighteenyears—eighteenyears!

WhenJesussawher,hecalledheroverandsaid,“Dearwoman,youarehealedofyoursickness!” Then he touched her, and instantly she could stand straight. How shepraisedGod!(Luke13:12-13NLT)

Thisworkofhealingoutragedtheleaderofthesynagogue.Heloudlystatedtothewholecrowd,“Therearesixdaysoftheweekforworking…Comeonthosedaystobehealed,notontheSabbath”(Luke13:14NLT).Rebukinghim,Jesusreplied:

Youhypocrites!EachofyouworksontheSabbathday!Don’tyouuntieyouroxoryourdonkey from its stall on the Sabbath and lead it out forwater? This dearwoman, adaughterofAbraham,hasbeenheld inbondagebySatan foreighteenyears. Isn’t itrightthatshebereleased,evenontheSabbath?(Luke13:15-16NLT)

AnencounterwithJesuswillalwayssetyoufreefromwhateverholdsyoucaptive.Thisiswhatwehavebeenmovingtowardthroughoutourjourneytogether—alifestyleofdeliverance.YouareactuallyabletosustaindeliveranceasyourpositionratherthananexperiencewhenyouliveleanedintoChrist.

“Yesterday’sexperienceisnotsufficienttosupplytoday’sdeliverance.”Yesterday’sexperienceisnotsufficienttosupplytoday’sdeliverance.Manytrytosurvive

on“oldmanna”wheninfact,theSpiritofGoddesiresourrelationshipwithHimtobevibrant,dynamic,andexciting.God intendsdeliverance tobea lifestyle,notan isolatedexperience.The way to discover what a delivered life actually looks like is by leaning into the Father,beholdingtheexampleofJesus,andaskingtheHolySpirittoguideyoufurtherintothisTruth.

POWERPOINT

TheGod-lifeisnotadrearyblackandwhite—itisvividandcolorful.HeisundeniablyaGodwhoupholdscertainstandardsandmodelsofliving,butallwithgoodreason.Hisstructuresare life-enriching and life-enhancing.He is not amafia boss or power-seekingdictator;Hisagendaisnottowithhold,diminish,oroverpower.Heisnottheproverbial“CosmicKilljoy”—Hecametobringabundantlife.TheonlythingHewantstorestrictyoufromissmallliving.Sin is the gateway to small living. Soul attachments are gateways to small living.Unforgivenessandgreedaregatewaystosmallliving.

As you continue to lean in to Jesus, and catch a fresh vision of His example, you willdiscover theextravagant freedomand liberty thataccompanya lifestyleyielded to theHolySpiritandcommittedtomodelingtheLord.Remember,wearenotworkingforGod’sfavor.Weare already favored, pressing in to enjoy greater intimacy with our beloved Savior. Theseencounterscannothelpbutproducetransformationinourlives!

POWERTHOUGHT

Lovers will always outwork workers in the long-run in the Kingdom of God. —MikeBickle

Day35

STEPOUT

Alltheforcesintheworldarenotsopowerfulasanideawhosetimehascome.—VictorHugo

DISCIPLINE#35—ACTIVATETHEPOWEROFGODWITHINYOU

Onourlastdaytogetherthisweek,Iwanttoempoweryoutotakethenextsteponyourjourneytoreclaimingyoursoul.Iamnotcontentwiththismerelybeingastudyoroverviewofexchanges,dysfunctions,anddisciplines.Myvisionistoarmyouwithtoolsthatwilltakeyoufromaplaceofbondagetoanewlifeofliberation.Thekeytomakingthisessentialtransitionisdrawing from the life sourceandpowerofGod insideyou.This is thepoint inour studywhereIwantthepowerofGodtogofrombeingaconceptoridea,to“anideawhosetimeshascome”thatmanifestsinyourlife!

There are three principles that will help you activate the power of God within you andtherebysuccessfullytransitionintotheresilientlife:

ThePotentialofHopeHopeexposesyoutothepotentialofaresilientlife.Withouthope,youhavenovisionofa

desired end towork toward. You remain caught in soul attachments and destructive cyclesuntilyouencounterlivinghope.Remember—HopeisaPerson.

Awomanwho had suffered for twelve yearswith an issue of blood had spent her life’ssavingsseekingacure.Therewasn’tadoctorwhocouldhelpher.ShehadgivenuphopeuntilsheheardthatJesuswasonHiswaythroughtown.Consideredunclean,sheriskedeverythinggoingoutintopublic.SheslippedthroughthecrowdandstruggledtogetnearenoughtoseeHim.

Justthenawomanwhohadsufferedfortwelveyearswithconstantbleedingcameupbehindhim.Shetouchedthefringeofhisrobe,forshethought,“IfIcanjusttouchhisrobe,Iwillbehealed.”Jesusturnedaround,andwhenhesawherhesaid,“Daughter,be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at thatmoment(Matthew9:20-22NLT).

AllhopewaslostuntilshemettheMasterofHopeHimself.Hemetherthereonthestreetwhere she was unannounced unclean and undesirable—and that one brief encountertransformedherfuture.Hope is agame-changer.Until you have hope, there is no possibility for transformation.

Hopeintroducespreviouslyunrealizedpossibilityandpotential.Aswemovetowardtheconclusionofthisstudy,Iwantyoutoremainmindfulofthedire

needforhope,aswellasitsSourceanddivineorigin.AnyassurancesofhopeoutsideofJesusChrist are unsubstantial, for He is our only sure hope. Remember, hope as defined byScripture,isaconfident,positiveexpectation.Itisnotwishing.Itisnotidle.Itisnotmaybe.Hope latches on to the potential of a resilient life and refuses to let go until this realitybecomesalifestyle.

“Hopeintroducespreviouslyunrealizedpossibilityandpotential.”ThePromiseofAbundantLife

Hope exposes you to the potential of a resilient life, but the assurance or promise ofabundantlifecompelsyoutopursuethis lifestyleuntil itstartstodefineyourworld.Peoplearound the planet are exposed to hope as they encounter Christ. How we steward thispreciousgiftofhopeisdeterminedbyourunderstandingofGod’swillforourlives.

Oflifeandmorelife—abundantlife—Jesussaid,“Icamesotheycanhaverealandeternal

life,moreandbetter life than theyeverdreamedof” (John10:10MSG).Notonlydid Jesusraisethephysicallydead,butmoreimportantly,Hecametoraisethespirituallydead.

InJohnwereadhowJesusspoketothepeoplesaying,“Iamthelightoftheworld.Ifyoufollowme,youwon’thavetowalkindarkness,becauseyouwillhavethelightthat leadstolife”(John8:12NLT).AllowJesustoshedlightonwhateverisdeadordyingorlyingdormantinyou—giveHimaccesstothoseplacesandtheywillbegintoflourishoncemore.

WemustbelieveGod’splan isgood,Hispurpose is forourbest interest,andHisoverallagenda for our lives is one of victory, freedom, and resiliency—life and more life. I amconvincedthatweareenteringanagewhenChristiansarebecomingincreasinglydiscontentwithsubstance-lessspirituality.Asbelieversexperiencethelife-givingpowerofJesus,theyareexposedtogreaterdemonstrationsofGod’sgoodness.Theyarenotonlyreadingandhearingthat God is good—they are tasting of this reality for themselves. These “tastes” of theabundantlifewilldrivethemtopursueituntilitbecomeslessofa“onceinawhile”mountain-topexperience,andmoreofaconsistentwayofbeing.

ThePowerofAuthorityThethird truth thatpositionsyou forresilient living is thepowerofauthority.Whenyou

have hope and are assured that God’s will for you is an abundant life, you will evaluateeverything else by those standards. Anything that threatens to release death, torment, orbondage into your life is brandedas enemy-originatedandconfrontedwith theauthority ofChristwithinyou.YouwillstepintoagreaterunderstandingofthisauthorityasyouincreaseinintimacywithJesus,astheauthorityyoureceivedisnotyourown—itisHis.Towalkinthisauthority,youmustintimatelyacquaintyourselfwithhowJesusdid.

OneofthekeysJesuswantedtoleavewithHisdiscipleswastheknowledgeoftheauthoritytheyhadasaresultofbeinginrelationshipwithHim.“Igiveyoutheauthoritytotrampleonserpentsandscorpions,andoverallthepoweroftheenemy,andnothingshallbyanymeanshurtyou”(Luke10:19).HepromisedthemtheywoulddoevengreaterworksthanHedid—“Itellyouthetruth,anyonewhobelievesinmewilldothesameworksIhavedone,andevengreaterworks,becauseIamgoingtobewiththeFather”(John14:12NLT).

WhenweareinrelationshipwithJesus,“wearemorethanconquerorsthroughHimwholovedus”(Rom.8:37).WithChristatyourside,“Noweaponturnedagainstyouwillsucceed.Youwillsilenceeveryvoiceraiseduptoaccuseyou”(Isa.54:17NLT).Rememberthisaswepreparetomoveintothefinalweekofourtimetogetherandyoutakeauthorityoveryourownsoul—asyou“workoutyourownsalvationwithfearandtrembling”(Phil.2:12).

POWERPOINT

Understand that relationship is a fundamental principle of success. When it comes tosteppingoutandreclaimingyoursoul,youmustbeginwithadeepandabidingrelationshipwith Jesus. Wherever there was weakness, bondage, lack, or sorrow, Jesus entered in andbroughtstrength,freedom,abundance,andjoy.Ineachinstance,ashiftoccurred.

Why is an encounterwithChrist sopowerful and transformative?Due toHisunionwithGod theFather,who is love (see1 John4:16)andbecause Jesus is theembodimentof thatlove.God’sloveisonlymadeevidentinrelationship.Itisthekindoflovethatneverinsistsonitsownrights,seeksitsown,orgetsoffended.Itisanunconditionallovethatalwaysbelievesthebestof—andhopesthebestfor—aperson.Godlovesyoutoomuchtoletyouremaininaplaceofbondageandhopelessness.Itisinthisnextandfinalweekthatwewillreviewsomepracticalstepstolivingfreefromdestructivesoulattachments,andestablishonceandforalltheabundantlifeofresiliencyGodintendsforyou.

“God’sloveisonlymadeevidentinrelationship.”Stepoutwithconfidence,knowingthatthroughoutthejourney—inallofitshighsandlows

—God’sloveisconstanttowardyouandwillneverfail!

POWERTHOUGHT

Love iskindandpatient,never jealous,boastful,proud,or rude.Love isn’t selfishor

quicktempered.Itdoesn’tkeeparecordofwrongsthatothersdo.Loverejoicesinthetruth,butnotinevil.Loveisalwayssupportive,loyal,hopeful,andtrusting.Loveneverfails!(1Corinthians13:4-8CEV)

WeekEight

RECLAIMINGYOURSOUL

Whydo youhasten to removeanythingwhichhurts your eye,while if somethingaffectsyoursoulyoupostponethecureuntilnextyear?—Horace

SoIwillrestoretoyoutheyearsthattheswarminglocusthaseaten(Joel2:25).

Don’tpostponethecareofyoursoulonemoreday.Seizethemoment,righthere,rightnowtoreclaimeverythingthathasbeenstolen!Taketimetopauseandreflect—takenoteofwhereyou’ve been, what has influenced you, where you are now, and how you would like to betomorrow.Itdoesnotmatterifwhathappenedtoyouwasyourfaultorthedoingofsomeoneelse.Bythispointinourjourney,Ihopethatyou’reconvincedthatit’sGod’swilltosetyoufreeandonacoursetoamoreempoweredlife.

Thisweekwillbeverydifferent fromtheprevioussevenweeks.Eachday’sentrywillbeshortandverypractical.Youhavealreadybeenarmedwithalloftheinformationyouneedtobreakwhatever cycle of bondage your soul has been caught in and reclaimwhat rightfullybelongs to you—a life of empowerment and resiliency. This is what we have beenworkingtoward.

AsaDonBrownsoaptlydescribesmyvisionfortheintendedendofthisbook:“Resiliencyistheessenceofaglobalpositiveframework.”Healedpeoplehealpeople.We

areworkingtowardbuildingaglobalpositiveframework—anewwayof life forsoulsacrosstheworld. Your ability to demonstrate an unhindered, victorious, and stable lifestyle is therefreshingglimpse thatanoftenbeaten-downworldneeds. Iwantyouwholesoyoucanbethisglimpsetotheworld;thatyourtransformationwouldstirotherstopursueandexperiencethesameresilientwayofliving.

Thehighvisionoftheresilientlifethatwearepursuingisthis:

Allofusgetknockeddown,butit’sresiliencythatreallymatters.Allofusdowellwhenthingsaregoingwell,butthethingthatdistinguishesathletesistheabilitytodowellintimesofgreatstress,urgencyandpressure.—RogerStaubach

Thissectionisaboutequippingandpositioningyoutocreateanewnormal.What sets resilient people apart is their ability to flourish in times of opposition and

difficulty. Let’s elevate our vision, if we have not already. Forbid quick fixes or superficialsolutions from being an option for you. Dare to live authentically. Dare to be exceptional.Standoutinyourgenerationasonewhorefusedtosettlefor“goodenough”—andstandfirminpressingtowardatotalsoulrenovation.

“Standfirminpressingtowardatotalsoulrenovation.”People often experience breakthrough, victory, and freedom, but seldom allow these

characteristics to define their lifestyle. This is what separates the resilient from thecomplacent;myprayeranddesire foryou is tobeonewho issetapart thatoffershope forchangetoeveryoneelsewhoiswatchingyourlife.

Peoplewhosoararethosewhorefusetositback,sighandwishthingswouldchange.Theyneithercomplainoftheirlotnorpassivelydreamofsomedistantshipcomingin.Rather,theyvisualizeintheirmindsthattheyarenotquitters;theywillnotallowlife’scircumstancestopushthemdownandholdthemunder.—CharlesSwindoll

Day36

LISTEN

Putyoureardownclosetoyoursoulandlistenhard.—AnneSexton

DISCIPLINE#36—HONESTLYEVALUATEYOURSOUL’SCONDITION

Iwanttogiveyousomesimplestepstoevaluatingthepresentconditionofyoursoul.Takeafewmomentstopauseandreflectuponeverythingyouhavelearnedonthisjourney:One: Become still and quiet in God’s presence. What are you hearing? Does anything

immediately come tomind that theHolySpirithasbeen trying tohighlightanddirect yourattentionto?Two:PrayandaskfortheHolySpirittoshowyouthedangerzonesregardingthehealthof

yoursoul.AsktheLordtodirectyoutothoseencumbrancesandattachmentsthatareholdingyoursoulcaptive.Listenforthat“stillsmallvoice.”Takethisopportunitytoactonwhatevercomesupinyourspirit.Three: Repent if you need to, pray for deliverance, and praise Him for complete

restorationandliberty“bywhichChristhasmadeusfree,anddonotbeentangledagainwithayokeofbondage” (Gal.5:1). If the soul tieorattachmentwas the result of yourpersonalchoices, simply repent and receiveGod’s abundant forgiveness. If not, pray for deliverancefromtheconsequencesofothers’actions.

Mostimportantly,asyoupray,hearHimcoachingyoutorelax—totrustHimwiththecareofyoursoul—andaboveall,asGodinstructs,to“bestill,andknowthatIamGod”(Ps.46:10).Wewill focusmoreon theprayerofbreaking free in thedays tocome,but fornow, simplyapproachtheLordinapostureofrepentanceandreceiving.Four:BeintentionalasyoudeliberatelyseekHimonbehalfofyourownsoul.Purposefully

seekHiscleansingpresenceandpeacefullyallowyourselftoenterintoHisrest—“Forwewhohavebelieveddoenterthatrest….Letusthereforebediligenttoenterthatrest,lestanyonefallaccordingtothesameexampleofdisobedience”(Heb.4:3,11).

Asyouenterintothistimeofreflectiveprayer,dosowithconfidenceandexpectationthattheHolySpiritwillbringtoyourattentionthespecificattachmentsthatneedtobeaddressed.

POWERPOINT

Whiletheprocessofconfrontingyears,decades,andevenlifetimesofbondageshouldnotbeoversimplified, it isequallyproblematictoovercomplicateit.Thisweek,youaregoingtohonestlyevaluatetheconditionofyoursoulandreceivefreedomfromtheOnewhosetsyoufree“throughandthrough”(John8:36MSG).

POWERTHOUGHT

Andbehold,theLordpassedby,andagreatandstrongwindtoreintothemountainsandbroketherocksinpiecesbeforetheLord,buttheLordwasnotinthewind;andafter thewindanearthquake,but theLordwasnot in theearthquake;andafter theearthquakeafire,buttheLordwasnotinthefire;andafterthefireastillsmallvoice(1Kings19:11-12).

Day37

FORGIVE

Remember,theLordforgaveyou,soyoumustforgiveothers(Colossians3:13NLT).

DISCIPLINE#37—EXERCISEYOURAUTHORITYTOFORGIVE

Unforgivenesskeepsyouboundonseveraldimensions.Byrefusingsomeone forgiveness,youarecontinuingtomaintainagreementwiththeoffense,withtheoffender,andultimately,withsatan’styrannical influenceoveryourlife.Theverythingsthatcontinuetopoisonyoursoulareoftentheverythingsyouareunwillingto letgoof throughforgiveness.Oneofthefundamentalkeystobreakingdangeroussoulattachments is lettingthatpersonandoffensegobyexercisingyourpowertoforgive.

Toomanyofusaredeceivedintobelievingthatbyextendingforgiveness,wearelettingourenemiesoffthehook.Suchisnotthecase.Rather,forgivenessisyourwayofremovingthem,along with their hurtful activities, out of your life—completely. I am convinced that if weclearly understood the dangerous strongholds that unforgiveness produces in our lives, wewouldbe“quicktoforgiveanoffense”(Col.3:13MSG)asScripturetellsustodo.

Forgiveness,however, isnothingshortofasupernaturalexercise.Toextend it,youmustdrawfromthewelloftheHolySpiritwithinyou.Heenablesyoutoaccomplishtheimpossible,andinmostpeople’sminds,theofferofforgivenesstoanundeservingpartyisanimpossibleact.Thatsaid,allofusareultimatelyundeservingwhenitcomestoreceivingforgiveness,butScriptureremindsusthat“whilewewerestillsinners,Christdiedforus” (Rom.5:8).Truly,there is no greater picture of extending forgiveness to the undeserving than what JesusprovidedatCalvary’scross.

ItisabsolutelyessentialthatyouexercisethesupernaturalauthorityyouhavereceivedinChristandverballyforgivethosewhohavewrongedyou.

Callouttheirnamesbeforethecourtsofheaven,andreleasethemintotheFather’shands.AsIsaidearlier,myaimisnottooversimplifytheprocess.Iunderstandthattherearemanyfactorsthatgointotheprocessofextendingforgiveness.Myaimisnottominimizewhatyouhavegonethrough,buttomaximizethelife-giving,bondage-breakingpowercontainedinyourchoicetoexerciseforgiveness.Youmayneedtoundergoaseasonofcounselingtodealwiththe fruit ofwhat youhaveexperienced.Myobjectivehere is to simplyhelpescort you toaplacewhereyourecognizetheneedtobreakthecycleofunforgivenessinyourlifebecauseofhowitkeepsyouboundtothepast,totraumaticexperiences,andultimately,tiedtotheverysoulattachmentsyoulongtobreak.

“Theelectromagneticfieldofasoulcreatesapowerfulforcethatexertsitselfintoeveryrealmtobringaboutcontinuingchange.”

Ifyouhaveexperiencedariftinafriendship,amarriage,orevenabusinesspartnership,exerciseyourpowertoforgivetoday.Yourexperienceisinterwovenwiththelifedynamicofeveryonewithwhomyouhaveeverhadanemotionalconnection.Aswediscussedearlier,theelectromagneticfieldofasoulcreatesapowerfulforcethatexertsitself intoeveryrealmtobringaboutcontinuingchange.

TakesometimeandasktheLordtobringtomindpeopleyouneedtoforgive.Asyougetnamesandmemories,writethemdown,thengothroughthelistonebyoneandforgiveeachperson.Tearupthelistwhenyouarefinished.

Anotherimportantpersonyoumightneedtoforgiveisyourself.AsktheLordtoshowyouifthereisanythingyouneedtoforgiveyourselffor.

Beonthealert—“Besober,bevigilant;becauseyouradversarythedevilwalksaboutlikearoaring lion, seekingwhomhemaydevour” (1Peter5:8). “Be seriousandwatchful in your

prayers” (1 Pet. 4:7). Even though the enemy wants to keep you bound, the ability andauthoritytobreakfreefromhissnareofunforgivenessisrightthereinyourheart,andoften,releaseduponyourlips.

POWERPOINT

InthewordsofJohnBunyan,“Prayoften;forprayerisashieldtothesoul,asacrificetoGod,andascourgeforsatan.”AndasMark11:25tellsus,“Wheneveryoustandpraying, ifyouhaveanythingagainstanyone, forgivehim, thatyourFather inheavenmayalso forgiveyouyourtrespasses.”

POWERTHOUGHT

Toforgiveistosetaprisonerfreeanddiscoverthattheprisonerwasyou.—LewisB.Smedes

Day38

ABIDE

Howeverstrongthebranchbecomes,howeverfarawayitreachesroundthehome,outofsightofthevine,allitsbeautyandallitsfruitfulnesseverdependuponthatonepointofcontactwhereitgrowsoutofthevine.Sobeitwithustoo.—AndrewMurray

DISCIPLINE#38—KNOWGOD’SWILLBYREMAININGINGOD’SWORD

Today,Iwanttogiveyouakeytoprayingwithprecisionandpower.I’msureatthispointyou are ready to pray for freedom—and hope to experiencewhat you are praying for. Theproblem is,manypeoplepraywithuncertaintybecause theyarenotabiding inGod’sWordandthereforeremainignorantofHiswill.Ontheotherhand,therearemanywhoearnestlybelievetheyareprayingeffectivelyandconfidently,butarenotreceivinganswers.Theypray,cryout,confess,anddeclare,butcontinuetoexperienceagapbetweentheirprayersandtheanswercomingtopass.

In order for you to experience complete breakthrough and to pray with assuredeffectiveness, Iwant to sharewith you the secret topraying forand seeing results. This iswhatJesushadinmindwhenHeconnectedthenecessityof“abidingin”Himtoourprayersbeinganswered.Hesaid:

AbideinMe,andIinyou.Asthebranchcannotbearfruitofitself,unlessitabidesinthevine,neithercanyou,unlessyouabideinMe.“Iamthevine,youarethebranches.He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can donothing.IfanyonedoesnotabideinMe,heiscastoutasabranchandiswithered;andtheygatherthemandthrowthemintothefire,andtheyareburned.IfyouabideinMe,andMywordsabideinyou,youwillaskwhatyoudesire,anditshallbedoneforyou(John15:4-7).

Therein lies thesecret.Whenyoupray,plug into the truesourceofanempowered life—GodandHisWord.Get poweredup, and then shine that lightwith laser-like accuracy intoeverysituationandcircumstance.

“WhenyouspendtimeintheWordofGod,youcomefacetofacewiththe

willofGod.”Confidence inprayer isunlockedandunleashedwhenyouareassured thatyourprayers

areinagreementwithGod’swill.AbidinginChrist,remaininginthatplaceofintimacywithHim,demandsthatyouknowHisWord.Youdon’thavetobeaBiblescholarormemorizetheentiretyofScripture—butthetruthis,theScriptureunveilsGod’swill.Whenyouspendtimein theWord of God, you come face to facewith thewill of God. As you “abide in Christ,”meditate onHis words, and studyHis example in the Gospels, you are further exposed toGod’swill.

POWERPOINT

Askyourself—what isGod’swill formy soul? I pray theanswer comesquickly.Our timetogetherhasbeenanexplorationofthediabolicalplotoftheenemytoenslaveyoursoul—butonlyinsofarashecankeepyoublindtothelife-giving,redemptiveagendaoftheLordJesustosetitfree.

Thisredemptiveplanisclearlyexpressedintoday’smeditationpassage.

POWERTHOUGHT

MayGodhimself, theGodwhomakeseverythingholyandwhole,makeyouholyandwhole,putyoutogether—spirit,soul,andbody—andkeepyoufitforthecomingofourMaster,JesusChrist(1Thessalonians5:23MSG).

Day39

BIND

And Iwillgiveyou thekeysof thekingdomofheaven,andwhateveryoubindonearthwill be bound in heaven, andwhatever you loose on earthwill be loosed inheaven(Matthew16:19).

DISCIPLINE#39—IDENTIFYENEMIESOFYOURSOULTHATNEEDTOBEBOUND

Overthesefinaltwodays,Iwillwalkyouthroughstepsyoucantaketoseverthetentaclesentanglingyoursoulfromeverymal-associativeexperience,word,ordeedyoumayhavebeenensnaredby.Iwillshowyouhowtotakeauthorityoverthedomainofyourinteriorlife—howto reignaskingandpriest in the realmof yourownsoul—and infuse itwith theLightandTruthoftheKingdomofGod.TheKingdomiswithinyou!Thefirststepisbindingtheenemiesofyoursoul—theintruderswhotrespasseduponpropertythatdoesnotbelongtothem.

As we abide in Christ, His words become more and more clear to us. With this claritycomesunderstandingofwhatGodisforandwhatHeisagainst.Webecomeacquaintedwithwhat is allowed inHis Kingdom, andwhat is forbidden. There are thingswe are called torelease—whicharepresentrealitiesinheaven—andthentherearethoseweareinstructedtobind.Cancel.Forbid.

Iamexcitedtowalkyouacrossthe“finishline”inthisprocess,butthereisonestepyoumust takebeforewepray togetherandofficiallydisengageanyweapons lockedand loadedagainstyoursoul.

The Bible says you cannot take dominion over an area until you have first bound thestrongmanofthatarea.Beforeyoubindhimyoumustblindhim!BlindhimwiththelightofTruth—then you can overpower him.Hemust be recognized in order to be confronted anddethroned. Jesus taught, “Forwhen a strongman like Satan is fully armed and guards hispalace, his possessions are safe—until someoneeven stronger attacks andoverpowershim,stripshimofhisweapons,andcarriesoffhisbelongings”(Luke11:21-22NLT).

This “strong man” is not a specific person or malevolent spirit. The concept that Jesusteachesdescribesmoreofasustainedplaceofbondagethananyparticularindividual.Thatistheenemy’sgoalforyourlife.Hewantstodoeverythinginhislimitedpowertodeceiveyouto remain inbondage.Hisgreatdeception ispreventingyou fromshining lighton thedarkareas,thusexposingtheiridentityandarmingyoutoovercomethem.

POWERPOINT

Thestrongmanmaintainsaplaceofdominionoveryoursoulonlyaslongasyourconditionremainsshroudedindarkness.Anythingunderenemyjurisdictionprefersthedarkness.Why?Aslongasyoudonotshinelightupontheseareas,youcannotbindthem.Youremainblindandthereforeincapableofbinding.Thatsaid,assoonaslightiscastuponthedarkness,youacknowledgethearea,relationship,orexchangeforwhatitis,anditbecomesanothernamethatissubjecttotheauthorityoftheNameofJesus(seePhil.2:9-10).

That iswhatyoumust learn todo in regard toyourownhouse—andyourownsoul.Youhavetheauthoritytoblindandbindthestrongmanandstriphimofhisweapons.

POWERTHOUGHT

Darknesscannotdriveoutdarkness:onlylightcandothat.—MartinLutherKingJr.

Day40

PRAY

MenandwomenareneededwhoseprayerswillgivetotheworldtheutmostpowerofGod;whowillmakeHis promises to blossomwith rich and full results. God iswaitingtohearusandchallengesustobringHimtodothisthingbyourpraying.—E.M.Bounds1

DISCIPLINE#40—RECLAIMYOURSOULUSINGTHEWEAPONOFPRAYER

We have come to the final day of our journey together. It has been an honor walkingalongside you and taking you to a place where, I believe, you are on the brink of shiftingseasonsandsteppingintoanewwayoflife.LifestyletransformationiswhatTheSoulSeriesisallabout.

Thekeytosuccessfullybreakingpastcyclesandestablishingalifelongsoultransformationis prayer. This is not just any prayer. Resiliency is fueled and sustained by what I callAuthoritativePrayer.

Authoritativeprayermustbepracticeddaily.Regardingthislife,notonedaygoesbythattheenemyissleepingorthatyourfleshisonvacation.Exerciseyourauthoritydailyinordertostrengthenit,justasPaultoldTimothytodoregardinggodliness,“exerciseyourselftowardgodliness”(1Tim.4:7).

Iwant to give you a few practical keys about prayer beforewe actually go through theprocesstogether.

YouAreWorthytoPrayThere is nothing the enemy would like you to believe more than the lie that you are

inadequatetopray.Hisplotistomaintainthereinsonyoursoulaslongaspossible.Hewellknows that the longer it takes for you to approach God’s throne in prayer, the longer hemaintainstherighttokeepyouinbondage.

RevivalistCharlesG.Finneyprovidesthe following insightconsideringyour“worthiness”forprayer:“Personsneverneedhesitate,becauseoftheirpastsins,toapproachGodwiththefullestconfidence.Iftheynowrepent,andareconsciousoffullyandhonestlyreturningtoGodwithalltheirheart,theyhavenoreasontofearbeingrepulsedfromthefootstoolofmercy.”2

Earlierthisweek,yourepentedforanysinsorpracticesyouengaged inthatmighthavebroughtyoutoaplaceofbondage.Repentancenotonlygivesyoulegalstandingbeforethethroneofgrace,buttheveryfactthatJesusshedHisbloodonthecrossandauthoredyourredemptiongivesyoutheabilitytoconfidentlystandbeforeGod—eveninthemidstofyoursinoriniquity.

Youareneedyafteryousin,becauseyouneed to repent.This isnotabad, shameful,ordisgraceful place to be. Rather, acknowledging this need positions you to act on Hebrews4:16,whichextends thispowerful invitation: “Letus thereforecomeboldly to the throneofgrace, that wemay obtainmercy and find grace to help in time ofneed.” Never fleeHispresenceaftersin,forHispresenceistheveryplaceyouneedtoruntoward.Remember,“Ifweconfessoursins,He is faithfuland just to forgiveusoursinsandtocleanseus fromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9).YouareworthytoapproachHisthroneinprayer,backedbytheguaranteethatHeislisteningandreadytoactonyourbehalf.

EffectivePrayerisaHabitThewholepointofourstudyhasbeentoreframeyourentirewayofliving—yourlifestyle.

Lifestyleisaproductofdailyhabits.Thosewhodonotviewprayerasahabit—orwayofliving—but rather, as a go-to remedy when they are experiencing trouble, tend to experienceseasonal blessing, breakthrough, and victory—if any at all. Apostle Paul invites you to analternativelifestyleoffaithwhereyou“praywithoutceasing”(1Thess.5:17).Iwanttohelpyou build prayer into your life as a habit, for the habitswe cultivate position us for eithersuccessorfailure,breakdownorbreakthrough.

As the19th century theologianHoraceBushnell stated, “Habits are to the soulwhat theveinsandarteriesaretotheblood,thecoursesinwhichitmoves.”Revelationwarns,“Lettheonewhoisrighteous,stillpracticerighteousness;andtheonewhoisholy,stillkeephimselfholy”(Rev.22:11NASB).

It is a daily challenge, but with the Spirit of God working in you, it is what you were“recreated” to do. “Let the Spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a newperson.YouwerecreatedtobelikeGod,andsoyoumustpleasehimandbetrulyholy”(Eph.4:23-24CEV).

EffectivePrayerisNaturalfortheSupernaturalAsyoudevelopthisprayerhabitinyourlife,Iassureyouthatwhatoncewasunnaturaland

abnormalwillbecomeverynormal.Why?Youareaspiritualbeing,firstandforemost.Prayerisameansofsupernaturalcommunication.AsInoted,youwererecreatedtocommuneandfellowshipwiththeDivine.Thoughtherearehabitsweneedtodeveloptorecalibrateourlivesto come into alignment with God’s purpose for our life in Christ, the reality is that for abeliever,prayerbecomesanaturalwayofliving.Wecannotlimitittoaformulaorparticularstyle.Afterall,topraywithoutceasingimpliesalifestyleofcontinuouscommunionwithGod.

AuthorRichardFostercomments,“Countlesspeopleprayfarmorethantheyknow.Oftenthey have such a ‘stained-glass’ image of prayer that they fail to recognize what they areexperiencingasprayerandsocondemnthemselves fornotpraying.”Weneedtomovepastthereligious,“stainedglass”perspective,asitplacesaceilingonhowwedefineprayer.

Asweconcludeourstudy, Iwantyoutoapplytheseprinciplesofprayertothefollowingprayers,confessions,declarations,andrenunciations.Thesearenotmeanttobereadthroughor recited only once. I want you to live, ever mindful, of the soul-stealing agenda of yourenemy—andbeequippedintheheatofbattleoveryoursoultoalwaysremain incommand.Youmustremaininfirmpossessionofyoursoul(seeLuke21:19),foryourenemyisrelentlessinhisagendatoentangleyoursoulthroughsoulattachments,andprogressivelydepleteyourverylifeforceuntilyouarerenderedapowerlesstoolinhisdiabolicalgrasp.Iprayyouhaveasternresolveinyourspiritthatsays,“Thishasgoneonlongenough!”

POWERPOINT

Through the power of authoritative prayer and by purposefully developing the habit ofprayer, I believe you will not only break every soul tie, but will experience the renewed,resilientlifeJesusdiedforyoutoenjoy.

MEDITATION

…Theearnestprayerofa righteouspersonhasgreatpowerandproduceswonderfulresults(James5:16NLT).

PRAYERSOFRECLAMATION

Transformationallivingbeginsbylivinginthemomentandlettinggoofthepast.PaulsaidinPhilippians3:13-14,“one thing Ido, forgetting those thingswhicharebehindand reachingforwardtothosethingswhichareahead,Ipresstowardthegoalfortheprizeoftheupwardcall of God in Christ Jesus.” Fully embrace every present moment by continually pressingtowardthegoal“of theupwardcallofGod”by repenting,changinghowyourelate,andbyreceivingthegraceofGod’slove.Rightnow,whereyouare,thisverymoment:

Acknowledgeyourcurrentcondition,Ask the Spirit of God within you whether you have any soul ties that need to bebroken,andDiscernwhattypesoftiesandinwhatareasyouneeddeliverance.

Youmustwanttobefree,andthenyoumustwillinglyyieldyourselftoGodthrough:

AcknowledgmentDisengagementfromthesourceofattachmentDemonstratingvoluntaryrejectionbyverballyrenouncingthetieLettinggoofanypastassociationsremotelyrelatedwiththeattachmentRepentingnowandpurposetochangehowyourelateinthefutureReceivingthegraceofGod—Hislove,restoration,anddivineenablementtolivefreeRe-establishing healthy boundaries through forgiveness and the principles of love(see1Cor.13:4-7)TotallysubmittingtotheLordshipofChristAskingtheHolySpirittoleadandguideyouintoalltruthEstablishingprayer shields, firewalls, anddivinehedgesofprotectionaroundyourlife

PrayerPoints(prayoutloud):

Today I take full responsibility for where I am. I refuse to blame or project myemotions,feelings,orattitudeontoothers.Irefusetoallowrepressedemotionstogounaddressed. I renounce all destiny-altering emotional, physical, psychological,spiritual, and social dependence upon anything and anyone who sabotages orunderminesmy relationship with God, healthy relationships with family and friends,and the fulfillment ofmyGod-given purpose and assignments. I break soul tieswith_______________________ (recall names of past lovers, perpetrators, violators ofcovenants,molesters,dysfunctionalanddiabolicalrelationships).Ibreakungodlyruleandcontrolovermysoulbyevilagents.

ReadthefollowingPsalmaloud:

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your greatcompassion,blotoutthestainofmysins.Washmecleanfrommyguilt.Purifymefrommysin.ForIrecognizemyrebellion;ithauntsmedayandnight.Againstyou,andyoualone,haveIsinned;Ihavedonewhatisevilinyoursight.Youwillbeprovedrightinwhatyousay,andyourjudgmentagainstmeisjust.ForIwasbornasinner—yes,fromthemomentmymotherconceivedme.Butyoudesirehonestyfromthewomb,teachingmewisdomeventhere.

Purifymefrommysins,andIwillbeclean;washme,andIwillbewhiterthansnow.Oh,givemebackmy joyagain;youhavebrokenme—nowletmerejoice.Don’tkeeplookingatmysins.Removethestainofmyguilt.Create inmeacleanheart,OGod.

Renewaloyalspiritwithinme.Donotbanishmefromyourpresence,anddon’ttakeyourHolySpiritfromme.Restoretomethejoyofyoursalvation,andmakemewillingtoobeyyou.ThenIwillteachyourwaystorebels,andtheywillreturntoyou.

Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of yourforgiveness.Unsealmylips,OLord,thatmymouthmaypraiseyou.Youdonotdesireasacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice youdesireisabrokenspirit.Youwillnotrejectabrokenandrepentantheart,OGod(Psalm51:1-17NLT).

Continuetopray:

Father,According to Psalm 51, I break and sever all attachments, associations, anddependenceupon:

Drugs,alcohol,addictivesubstances,andactivitiesAcquaintances, friendships, and intimate relationships with those who do notembracemycorevaluesPerverted/deviantrelationships,pastandpresentdeviantbehaviorsLewd,promiscuous,immoral,unethicalactivitiesAdulterousrelationshipsIncestCulticandanti-God,anti-ChristreligiousorganizationalactivitiesandpracticesWitchcraftBloodcovenantsVerbal and written agreements entered into through ignorance, coercion,manipulation,ordeceptionBribesPornographicmaterials(includingbooks,Internet,movies,etc.)ControllingfamilymembersControllingrelationshipsDestiny-alteringactivitiesInordinateaffectionstowardpeople,things,possessions,andmoneySexualrelationswithex-spousesMoneyillegallyandinappropriatelygained

Father,washawaytheresidualeffectsofrepressionandeverysoultiebythebloodoftheLambandbythewashingofthewateroftheWord:

DelivermefromevilaffectionandlustfuldesiresandfantasiesShatterstrongholdsandblowthemtosmithereensbythewindsoftheSpiritRemove persistent grudges, hidden resentments, unutterable hurts,disappointments,deep-seatedoffenses,andvendettasIrenouncesoultiesassociatedwithinheritances,generationalcurses,andparentalcontracts(contractsenteredintobyparentsormyparents’parents)

Ibreaksoultieswith:

OldhabitsSeasonalrelationshipsAbusiveleadershipAddictiveculturalenvironmentsSmotheringrelationshipsDysfunctionalandself-destructivemindsetsOld,limitingparadigmsNon-productivebusinessdealingsandpartnershipsGrantmenewlifestrategies,lifeskillsGrantmenewwaysofthinking,newwaysofworking,andnewwaysoflivingGivemeahungerandthirstforrighteouslivingSanctifymewholly, as Igive toYoumyaffections,anddesires,mymind,will, andemotions

Asyoulayhandsonthetopofyourownhead:

Commandthereticularformation,limbicsystem,andfrontallobetocomeintodivinealignment.Declare thatyouhave themindofChristand thatyour thoughtswillno longerbepollutedbydemonicinferences,fantasies,andlewdimagery.DeclarethatthegloryandpowerofGodwillfalluponyouinanewway.

Declare:

Ihavearighttosay“no”toothersifitisaninvasionofmyspaceoraviolationofmyrights.Ihavearighttotaketherisktogrowinmyrelationshipswithothers.If I findthatmyspaceorrightsarebeingviolatedor ignored,IhavetherightandwillassertivelyprotectmyselftoensureIamnothurt.IhavetherighttodothingsthatemanatefrommyfreewillsothatIdonotbecomesooverlyenmeshedwithothersthatIlosemyidentity.Ihavearighttoexploremyowninterests,hobbies,andoutletssothatIcanbringbacktomyfamilyorgroupmyuniquepersonalitytoenrichourlivesratherthanbelostinaclosedandover-enmeshedsystem.Iwillneveragainallowmyspaceandrightstobeviolated.Iwillstandupformyselfanddemandmyrightsberespectedandnotviolated.IfIamignored,Ihavetherighttoleaveoraskthoseinfringingonmyrightstogetoutofmylife.Ihavetherighttobevisible—tobeseenandheard.Iwillstandupformyselfsothatotherscanlearntorespectmyrightsandmyneeds—andsothatotherscanlearntheyarenotallowedtoviolatemyspace.I choose to no longer disassociate frommy feelingswhen I ambeing treated in anegative way. I choose to be aware of what is happening to me and assertivelyprotectmyselffromfurtherviolationorhurt.Idonotneed tobecoldanddistantoraloofandshy toprotectmyself frombeinghurt.IchoosetoopenmyselfuptootherstrustingthatIwillbeassertivewhennecessarytoprotectmyrightsandmyprivacyfrombeingviolated.There is a line I have drawn over which I do not allow others to cross. This lineprotectsmyuniqueness,autonomy,andprivacy. ItallowsmetobethewayIreallyamratherthanthewayotherpeoplewantmetobe.This line lets othersknow that this iswho I amandwhere thedividing lineexistsbetweenwheremypersonhoodbeginsandanotherperson’sinfluenceonmeends.This line defines who I am, who they are, and where we meet as two distinctindividuals.As complete andwhole individuals beforeGod, I purpose to never cross over thisholylinesothatwecanforevermaintainahealthyandedifyingrelationshipwithoneanother.

Today,Istandintheliberty,whereChristhassetmefree.IacceptJesusChristasbothmyLordandSavior.

TodayIrefusetobeheldcaptivebyyokesofbondageseveragain.WhomtheSonsetsfreeisfreeindeed!

IsealthisprayerinJesus’name.

Amen.

TheLordismyshepherd;Ishallnotwant.Hemakesmetoliedowningreenpastures;Heleadsmebesidethestillwaters.Herestoresmysoul;HeleadsmeinthepathsofrighteousnessForHisname’ssake(Psalm23:1-3).

Butwhathappenswhenwe liveGod’sway?Hebringsgifts into our lives,much the

samewaythatfruitappearsinanorchard—thingslikeaffectionforothers,exuberanceaboutlife,serenity.Wedevelopawillingnesstostickwiththings,asenseofcompassionin theheart,andaconviction thatabasicholinesspermeates thingsandpeople.Wefindourselvesinvolvedinloyalcommitments,notneedingtoforceourwayinlife,abletomarshalanddirectourenergieswisely(Galatians5:22-23MSG).

Themostpowerfulweapononearthisthehumansoulonfire.—FerdinandFoch

AppendixA

APERSONALCONTRACTFORLIVINGARESILIENTLIFE

LIVINGDECLARATIONS

Thefollowingisadailydeclaration.Speakitoutloudoveryourlifeeveryday.Ihavethecourageandpersonalintegrityto:

SetclearboundariesformyselfandtohelpotherstorespectthemaccordinglyBemyselfDreamofabetterlifeWakeupandlivethelifeofmydreamsEnjoytodayBelievethattomorrowwillbebetterthantodayVoicemyopinionPursuemygoalsChangemymindBreakself-destructiveactivities,thoughts,andcyclesoffailureChangeforthebetterContinuouslyimproveonadailybasisAlwaysbemyverybest,givemyverybest,domyverybestPutmybestfootforwardFullyenjoygivingandreceivingloveBoldlyfacemyfearsandweaknesseswithcourageSeekandaskforhelpandsupportwhenIneeditSpringfreeofthesuperwoman/mantrapStopbeingallthingstoeveryoneSetclearboundariesTrustmyselftoknowwhatisrightformeMakemyowndecisionsbasedonmyperceptionofoptionsBefriendmyselfBekindtomyselfBetotallyhonestwithmyselfRespectmyvulnerabilitiesHealoldandcurrentwoundsAcquirenew,good,andusefulhabitsandeliminatethebadCompleteunfinishedbusinessViewmyfailuresaslifelessonsTurnmylossesintogainRealizethatIhaveemotionalandpracticalrightsHonormycommitmentsKeepmypromisesGivemyselfcreditformyaccomplishmentsLovethelittlegirl/boyinmeOvercomemyaddictiontoandneedforapprovalGrantmyselfpermissiontolaughoutloud,loveoutloud,andliveoutloudPlayashardasIcanDancelikenooneiswatchingSingatthetopofmyvoiceCatchbutterfliesColoroutsidethelinesWatchmothernatureasshetucksthesuninforagoodnightsleepandthenturnsthenightlightsonformyenjoyment,security,andpleasureWitnessthedawningofanewdayasthesunrubsthelingeringsleepinessfromitseyesChooselifeoverdeath

ChoosesuccessoverfailureLivewithanattitudeofgratitudeQuitbeingatrashreceptacleanddumpingbinRidmyselfoftoxicrelationshipsPursueanddevelophealthyandsupportiverelationshipsRenegotiatethetermsofallrelationshipsNurturemyselflikeInurtureothersTake“memoments”BealonewithoutfeelinglonelyDemandpeoplegivetomeasmuchasIgivetothemManagemytimeValuethetimeGodgivesmebyusingitwiselyDemandthatothersvaluemytimeBemoreobjectiveaboutmyfeelingsandsubjectiveaboutmythoughtsDetoxifyallareasofmylifeTakeanemotionalenemawhennecessaryNurtureothersbecauseIwantto,notbecauseIhavetoChoosewhatisrightformeInsistonbeingpaidfairlyforwhatIdoKnowwhenenoughisenoughSay“no”andmeanitPutanendtotoxiccyclesSetlimitsandboundariesSay“yes”onlywhenIreallymeanitHaverealisticexpectationsTakerisksandacceptchangeLivemorallyConductmyaffairsethicallyGrowthroughchangeGrowthroughchallengesGiveotherspermissiontogrowandtobethemselvesBreakglassceilingsLivebeyondthelimitsSetnewgoalsSavorthemysteryoftheHolySpiritPrayandexpectanexceptional,favorableoutcomeMeditateinordertouncluttermymindWavegoodbyetoguilt,self-doubt,rejection,andinsecurityDe-weedtheflowerbedofmythoughtlifeTreatmyselfwithrespectandteachotherstodothesameFillmyowncupfirst,thenrefreshothersfromtheoverflowDemandexcellencefrommyselfandothersPlanforthefuture,butliveinthepresentValuemyinsight,intelligence,andwisdomKnowthatIamloveableCelebratethedifferencesinothersMakeforgivenessapriority

Ihavethecourageto:

AcceptmyselfjustasIamnowandforeverLivewithinmymeansLoveGodManifestHisdivinityMovebeyondinnatefearsbylivingintherealmoffaithEmbraceHisSpiritthatisstrongerandwiserthanmineProsperbeyondmyimaginationGivemorethanIreceiveGivetothosewhocanneverreturnthefavorLoveunconditionallyLiveconsciously

Therefore:

IwillgiveGodthetimeHeneeds

IwillgivemymindtheorderitneedsIwillgivemylifethedisciplineitneedsIwillgivemyspiritthefreedomitneedsIwillgivemysoultheloveitneedsIwillgivemybodythenourishmentandexerciseitneedsIwillgivemyvoicetheplatformitneedsIwilltakeastandforwhatIbelieveIwillgivemyselftheloveandattentionIneedIwillpursuemydreamsandaccomplishmygoalsIwillgivetoothersIwillpursuemypurposeandmaximizemypotentialIwillstandontruthandtakeastandfortruthIwillpositivelyimpactmygenerationIwillpositivelyinfluenceasystemand/oraninstitutionIwilllive,learn,love,serve,andthenleavealegacyIamonacollisioncoursewithdestinyIamattheintersectionoftruthIamontheavenueofopportunityIamtravelingtheboulevardofpassionIamresidingonastreetnamedcourageAlllightsaregreenIchoosetoproceedIchoosetowalkwithpurpose,success,andnobilityTodayandalways,Ialoneacceptandownfullandtotalresponsibilityforbeingmygenuineandtrueselfandthereforevowtoliveauthentically,togrowandcareformybestandnoblerself,toreflectthepowerofGod’sgloryanddivinityworkinginandthroughmeToday,IshallbeblessedwithallgoodthingsIwillhavegoodsuccessMyjoy,peace,prosperity,andsuccessshallbeasabundantasthestarsintheskyFriendship, favor, affluence, influence, health, happiness, support, beauty, andabundantlivingshallbemyconstantcompanionsI am unconditionally loved, celebrated, revered, appreciated, and honored beyondmeasureandhumancomprehensionImakeadifferenceinthisworldIammoving,breathing,blessing,alive,andatworkonthisearthThisismycontractwiththeeternalsoulandspiritwithinmeToday,IgivemyselfpermissiontobeallGodhascreatedmetobe—andtopushuntilIsucceed!

Signed

___________________________________________________________SIGNATURE

___________Dayof________________________________20______

Sendmeanemailandletmeknowyoudidit.Here’stoalifeoffreedominChristJesus.Godbless!

ENDNOTES

Introduction1. Proverbs23:7KJV.2. Proverbs4:23NLT.3. Proverbs4:27NLT.4. SeeJohn7:38.5. Luke21:19.

Preface1. W.E. Vine, Merrill F. Unger and William White Jr., Vol. 1, Vine’s Complete ExpositoryDictionaryofOldandNewTestamentWords,96(Nashville,TN:T.Nelson,1996),s.v.“Togoout,goforth.”

ChapterOne1. Theories by the Institute for Creation Research suggest it is possible that when Godcreated the earth, the entire planet was enclosed in a water vapor canopy that wouldcauseagreenhouseeffectontheearthevenlydistributingtemperaturestheworldover—evenatwhatarenow thepolar icecaps.This canopy iswhat fellduring the flood,alsosuggestingthatthereismuchmorewateronthesurfaceofourplanettodaythentherewasduringthetimeofAdamandEveintheGarden.Formoreinformationonthis,seetheICRweb-site. Iwouldsuggeststartingwiththearticleathttp://www.icr.org/article/long-summertime/.

2. SeeEzekiel1:16;10:10,thoughthecontextIamusingthisallusioninisnotthesame,sotheseScripturesdonotreallyapplytowhatIamsayinghere.Iamusingtheirillustrationtohelpcreateapicture.

ChapterTwo1. WalterChen,“HowtoRewireYourBrain forPositivityandHappiness.”Lifehacker.com.RetrainYourBrain,6February2013.http://lifehacker.com/5982005/rewire-your-brain-for-positivity-and-happiness-using-the-tetris-effect.

2. Janet Reed, “Creative Emotion.” Enchantedmind.com. 1998;http://enchantedmind.com/html/science/creative_emotion.html.

ChapterThree1. TheCommissiononChildrenatRisk,HardwiredtoConnect:TheNewScientificCaseforAuthoritativeCommunities(NewYork:TheInstituteforAmericanValues,2003),14.

2. Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh ed. (Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster,Inc.,2003),s.v.“electromagnetism.”

3. LisaWimberger,NewBeliefsNewBrain(California:DivineArtsMedia,2012),x.

ChapterFour1. BreneBrown,DaringGreatly:HowtheCouragetobeVulnerableTransformstheWayWe

Live,Love,Parent,andLead(NewYork:GothamBooks,2012),23.2. Ibid.3. see2Corinthians5:17andGalatians6:15.4. see2Corinthians3:18.5. seeRomans12:12.6. Proverbs24:5AMP.7. Hosea4:6.8. http://thinkexist.com/quotation/not_everything_that_is_faced_can_be_changed-but/7880.html.

9. 2Corinthians3:17.10. Hebrews12:2.11. SongofSolomon2:15.

12. Psalm140:4.13. Colossians1:23MSG.14. 2Corinthians9:8.15. Philippians2:13.16. 1John2:16.17. Merriam-Webster’sCollegiateDictionary,s.v.“exchange.”.18. Microsoft Corporation, Encarta® World English Dictionary (New York: Bloomsbury

PublishingPlc.,1999),s.v.“exchange.”19. Proverbs18:21.20. Proverbs18:20.21. SeeMatthew6:21.22. Hebrews11:1.23. Isaiah33:15-16.24. Numbers11:4-5.25. Ezekiel18:27.

Day11. Forfurtherstudy,secureacopyofmybookCommandingYourMorning.2. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/217207-watch-your-thoughts-they-become-words-watch-your-words-they.

Day41. ReadTheRulesofEngagementforSpiritualBattleforanin-depthstudyonthissubject.

Day61. ColinPowell.

Day71. Seemybook,BindingtheStrongman,foracomprehensivelistofsubordinatespiritsthatcaninfiltrateyourmind,finances,familyhistory,health,future,andnation.

Day181. Michael Bayer, “Understanding Codependent Behavior,” Treatment4Addictions.com,http://www.treatment4addiction.com/conditions-disorders/mood/codependency.

2. “Fact-Sheet: Co-dependency,” Mental Health America,http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency.

Day401. E.M.Bounds,TheWeaponofPrayer.2. “AnApprovingHeart—Confidence inPrayer” fromTheWayOfSalvation,ChapterXXII;CharlesG.Finney1792-1875.

ABOUTDR.CINDYTRIMM

CindyTrimmhasdedicatedherlifetoservingGodandhumanity.Abest-sellingauthor,high-impact speaker, and former senator ofBermuda,Dr. Trimm is a sought-after empowermentspecialist, thought leader, and catalyst of cultural change. Listed amongEbony magazine’sPower100asthe“top100doersandinfluencersintheworldtoday,”Dr.Trimmisaconsultanttocivic,nonprofit,andindustryleadersaroundtheworld.Withabackgroundingovernment,education, psychotherapy, and human development, Dr. Trimm translates powerful spiritualtruths into everyday language that empower individuals to transform their lives and theircommunities. Her message brings new meaning, purpose, dignity, and hope to a globalaudience.

THESOULSERIES

The40DaySoulFastisacomprehensiveteachingonthenatureofthesoul,propertiesof thought, power of identity, words, and actions. This is an introductory “foundation-laying”bookonhowyourinnerlifeaffectsyourouterworld.

Reclaim Your Soul is a more in-depth study on the nature of emotionalattachments/entanglementsandhowtobreakfreefromoravoidthem.Itcategorizesthevarious types of relational soul ties that might be holding you back and weighing youdown.

TheProsperousSouloffersinsightintohowthehealthofyoursoulaffectsthehealthandhealingofyourbody.Thehealthofyourbodyandsoulareinter-related.(ScheduledreleaseSpring2015)

HealYourSoul,HealtheWorldbringsitalltogetherintothecontextofyourroleinthelargerworldasaleaderandcatalystforchange.(ScheduledreleaseSpring2016)

OTHERBOOKSBYDR.CINDYTRIMM

CommandingYourMorningDailyDevotional

TilHeavenInvadesEarth

WhenKingdomsClash

ThePrayerWarrior’sWay

TheArtofWarforSpiritualBattle

CommandingYourMorning

TheRulesofEngagement