CHristian Marriage.cdr - Hospital Chapel Abuja

HOSPITAL CHAPELNATIONAL HOSPITAL ABUJA

P r e s e n t s

Family Weekend 2021

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGEMatthew 19: 1-12

THEME :

Venue: Church AuditoriumDate: Thursday 20th - Sunday 23rd May, 2021

Week Days: 5pmSaturday 10am | Sunday 9am

Our Vision Statement

1.0INTRODUCTION1.1Marriagesworldwideareunderattack.TheMarriageinstitution

itselfisexperiencingasatanicassault.Particularlysoistheconcept

andpracticeof the 'ChristianMarriage'. Current statistics indicate

thatthere'shardlyanydifferenceindivorceratesbetweenmarriages

ascontractedbyChristiansandnon-Christians.Notevenmenofthe

callorordainedministersinChristianleadershipfarebetter.

1.2 Scriptural injunctions about the sanctity ofmarriage (Hebrew

13:4),itsorigins(Genesis2:18),itsindissolubility(Mathew19:6),its

nature(Genesis1:27-28)andotherprotocolsaretreatedastrashby

humanisticintellectualsandarethereforerenderedinapplicableby

thesecularauthorities.Butinthebeginningitwasnotso(Mathew

19:8). Marriage founded upon the foundational, fundamental and

eternalprinciplesofGod'swordiswhatwearetrustingGodtore-

discover.

1.3MarriageissoimportantinGod'spurposeonearththattheBook

ofGenesishasastoryonmarriage(Genesis2:21-25)andtheBookof

Revelationhasanotherstoryonmarriage(Rev.19:7-9).Themarriage

atEdenbetweentheMan,(Heb-Ish)andtheWoman(Heb-Ish-Shah)

was a 'type and shadow'. The marriage in the 'New Jerusalem'

betweenChristandtheredeemedistheultimatereality(Eph.5:31-

32).

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HOSPITAL CHAPELNATIONAL HOSPITAL ABUJA

Theme:

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

FAMILYRETREAT.MAY20-22,2021

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2.0INTHEBEGINNING(MarriageatEden)2.1MarriagefromBiblicalperspectiveoriginatedfromthemindof

God, andwasnotoriginally rooted in any 'native lawand custom'

(Gen.2:18).TheLordGodsaw 'that itwasnotgood that theman

shouldbealone'.Thereforeheundertookto'makehimahelpmeetfor

him'.Thepersoninquestiondesignatedas'help'wasexpectedtobe

'meet' or uniquely suitable for theman. This process ofmaking a

suitablehelperforthemanisfoundedupontheoriginalcreationof

AdamasexpressedinGen.1:26-28.There,thescriptureclearlystates:

v26“AndGodsaidletusmakemaninourimage,afterourlikeness;

andletthemhavedominionoverthefishofthesea,andoverthefowl

oftheair.Andoverthecattle,andoveralltheearth,andoverevery

creepingthingthatcreepethupontheearth”

V27: “SoGod createdman in his own image, in the image of God

created he him; male and female created he them”. The clear

implicationofthisnarrativeisthattheman(Adam)incontemplation

wascreated'double'fromdivineperspective.Thechargewas:“letus

makeman(singular)afterourownimage,afterourlikeness:andlet

themhave(plural,nothim)havedominion…”Thusthemanascreated

inEdenwasan “Ish” (man)carryingwithinan “Ish-Shah” (womb-

man). To God, he was 'double' but to the animals in the garden

observinghimashemovedaroundinthegarden,hewassingle.Adam

couldthereforebedescribedasamancarryingawomaninsideof

him.

2.2ToboththemaleandfemaleAdam,Godbequeathedtheblessings

of fruitfulness,multiplication,replenishingandsubduingtheearth

andexercisingcomprehensivedominionoverallthecreatures(v28).

Thisfundamentaltruthisablycapturedinthegenealogicalnarratives

ofGen.5:1-2.Thus:

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v1:“ThisisthebookofthegenerationsofAdam.InthedaythatGod

createdman,inthelikenessofGodmadehim”

v2:“MaleandFemalecreatedhethem;andblessedthem,andcalled

theirname(notnames)Adaminthedaywhentheywerecreated”

(Gen5:1-2KJV).WhattranspiredinthesecondnarrativeofGen2:18,

21-23, was therefore a separation or 'bringing out' of “Ish-Shah”

(Woman)from“Ish”(Man)throughtheinstrumentalityofsleep(rest)

andskillfulformation(panah-Hebrew),aroundaribtakenfrom“Ish”.

Adamwasathisnativity,acombinationofamale-Adamandafemale-

Adam; created the same day and empowered equally but with

different functions, and subsequently separated. This is the

foundationofthepracticeinChristianmarriageswhereawifetakes

onthenameofherhusbanduponmarriagetherebysignifyingthatthe

two have become one, in accordance with the intention of their

creator.ThefirstweddingatEdenthereforeuniquelyhastheLord

God as father of both the Bridegroom and the Bride, signifying

equalityofrelationshipandaccess.(v22)

2.3Adam'sexclamationinv23:“Thisisnowboneofmybonesand

fleshofmyflesh:sheshallbecalledWoman,becauseshewastaken

outofMan”,indicatesarevelatoryunderstandingofthemysteryof

this union called marriage! Brethren, it takes a revelation to

understand and comply with the original principles of 'Edenic

Marriage'. As highlighted earlier, a clear understanding of this

mysteryofaman(wiredandconfigureddifferently)andawoman

(also wired and configured differently) coming together to fulfill

divine purpose in matrimony, is the bedrock of a satisfactory

marriage.

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2.4ThesummationofGod'sexpectationissuccinctlycapturedinv24:

“Thereforeshallamanleavehisfatherandhismotherandshallcleave

untohisownwife:andtheyshallbeoneflesh”.TheLordJesusChrist,

inreferencetothisEdenicmodelofmarriagenowaddedhisownseal

ofperfection:“WhatthereforeGodhathjoinedtogether,letnotman

putasunder”(Matt19:6KJV).Thefullestexpressionofthepractical

outworkingofthisEdenicmodeliscapturedinGen2:25;“Andthey

werebothnaked,themanandhiswife,andwerenotashamed”.Thus

Edenicmarriagehadnoprovisionfordivorceandre-marriage(Mal.

2:16)

3.0MALEANDFEMALE:ROLESANDRESPONSIBILITIES3.1Thescripturemakesitveryclearthat“MaleandFemalecreatedhe

them”(Gen1:27).Thisbasicallyimpliesthatthemanandthewoman

althoughacompositeunity,eachisdifferentlyconfiguredandwired.

Each by this basic configuration is uniquely suited for certain

assignments,rolesandobligations.Attheintroductionofthewoman

totheman,Adamhadexclaimed;“SheshallbecalledWoman,because

shewastakenoutofMan”Asdiscussedearlier,theHebrewwordfor

Woman:Ish-Shahliterallymeans:she-man;wombman;manwiththe

womborfemale-man.Sheisadifferentvarietyofthemanandableto

perform certain biological functions impossible for themale-man

suchasbirthingachild.Whereashercorenativefunctionrevolves

aroundherabilityandcapacityforchildbearingandnurturingand

therefore a home-making natural, theman as designed by God at

creationwasa“keeperanddresserofthegarden”(Gen2:7-8,15).

Thisinvolvesmanuallabourconsistentwiththeobligationtoprovide

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forhisfamily.Themanwasformed/shaped(Heb.-yatsar)ofthedust

of the ground as raw material (Gen 2:7) thus explaining his

comparative roughnessand lackof finesse,whilst thewomanwas

skillfully shaped (Heb.-panah) fromthemanas rawmaterial.This

explainshersensibilities,sensitivities,polishandpanache!Thusshe

wasactuallyappropriatelytitled“thefairersex”.

3.2Afterthefall,Adamre-namedhiswife(whooriginallyreceivedher

identity from theman) and called her “Eve; because shewas the

mother of all living” (Gen3:20). The name Eve, (Heb.:Chavvah)

literally means “live-spring”. Adam going forward, no longer

identifiedhiswifebywhosheis(abetterversionofhimself)butby

herbiologicalroleasamother.Itissignificantthatcurseswereplaced

uponAdamandhiswife consistentwith their basic differentiated

corefunctions.Untothewomanhesaid;“Iwillgreatlymultiplythy

sorrowandthyconception;insorrowshallthoubringforthchildren

andthydesireshallbetothyhusbandandheshallruleoverthee”

(Gen.3:16).Manisnowtheheadofthewoman(1Cor.11:3-12,Eph.

5:22).

3.3Tothemanhesaid:“Becausethouhashearkeneduntothevoiceof

thywife,andhaseatenofthetreeofwhichIcommandedtheesaying,

Thoushaltnoteatofit:cursedisthegroundforthysake;…insorrow

shallthoueatofitallthedaysofthylife;insweatofthyfaceshallthou

eatbreadtillthoureturnuntotheground…”(Gen.3:17-19).

Itisnoteworthythereforethatpost-fallcursewastargetedattheir

basicroleascriptions.Tothewomanit'srelatedtoherroleasawife

(weaverofthetapestryofthehome)andtothemanitisrelatedtohis

roleashusband(farmerandprovider).Everyorganizationhasroles

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forindividuals,otherwisetherewillchaos.Normatively,rolescould

thereforebeevincedbywayofcasestudiesasfollows:

3.3.1Equalityof sexesbutdifferentiationof rolesandorder: (Gen

1:27-28,Gen5:1-2,1Corinthians11:3,1Corinthians11:11-12

3.3.2EveservedAdamfood(fruit)atEden(Gen.3:6)

3.3.3Sarahprepared/cookedthemealeatenbyGodandHisAngels.

Abrahamfetchedcalf.TheyoungmendresseditandAbrahamserved

it.Thisisanadmirabledivisionoflabourwithinafamilyenvironment.

(Gen18:6-8)

3.3.4RebekahpreparedthemealthatJacobservedIsaachisfather

(Gen27:8-10).ThisisinstructivegiventhatJacobknowshowtocook

(Gen25:29-34).

3.3.5Mosescommandedeverymantogatherfoodforhishousehold,

making it clear that the man is the principal provider and bread

winnerofhisfamily.(Ex16:16-18).PaultheApostlelateremphasized

this role in the New Testament church (1Tim5:8). To provide (Gr

Pronoeo)impliestoobserve,planorprovidebeforehand.

3.3.6ThevirtuouswomanofProverbschapter31wasbothwifeand

motherandpreparesmealforherhousehold(Proverb31:15)

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3.3.7Peter'smother-in-lawpreparedmealsforJesusChristandhis

disciples(Matt8:14-15,Luke4:38-39)

3.3.8Martha/MarypreparedmealsathomeandnotLazarus their

brother(Jn.12:1-2,Lk10:38-40).

3.3.9PaultheApostlechargedolderwomentoteachyoungerwomen

to be sober, to love their husbands and children and to be home

keepers(Titus2:4-5).Furthermore,youngwomenareadmonishedto

marry,bearchildrenandguide thehome(behomemakers)1Tim

5:14

3.4 It is therefore crystal clear that in terms of basic biblical role

expectations,thehusbandofthehouseisprincipallytheproviderfor

hishomewhilstthewifeisthekeeperofthehome.Modernexistential

trends and realities have somewhat diluted these basic role

ascriptionswheretoday,inmosthomes,bothmenandwomenhave

become joint providers and sometimes expectedly, joint home

keepers.Eventhenproperperspectiveshouldbemaintainedofthe

biblical model, so that children will grow knowing the basic

differencesinsexandroles.Eachhomemustdiscoveranddiscern

whatworksforitintheoverallcontextofhavingafulfillingmarriage

andmeetingdivineexpectationsconcerningChristianmarriage.

4.0MARRAGEUNDERTHELAW4.1Marriageunder the Lawas givenbyMoses acknowledged the

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great derogation from the edenic model of one man, one wife

(Mal2:14-15). Polygamyand concubinagehadbecome the general

culturalpracticesof thenations.Fromthis culturalpracticeof the

nations, theLordGodcalledoutAbram fromUrofChaldea to the

PromisedLand(Gen.12:1-5).Itisnoteworthythatatthetimeofhis

call,AbramhadonlyonewifeandLottoohadonlyonewifeasproved

bysubsequenteventofthedestructionofSodomandGomorrah(Gen.

19:15-16).AbrammaintainedamonogamousmarriageuntilSarai,on

accountofherbarrennessofferedHagar(hermaid)toAbramtobehis

wife (Gen.16:3-5).ThusAbrambecamePolygamous,but theLord

continued to consistently refer toSarai asAbram'swife, a titleHe

neverappliedtoHagar(Gen17:15-19).

4.2 Sarah died (Gen23:1-2) and after her death, Abraham took

anotherwifeKeturah(Gen.25:1-4)andthereafterhadconcubines

(Gen.25:6).ItcouldthereforebeinferredthatAbraham'sbrandof

polygamywasguidedandcontrolled.Isaac,Abraham'sSonbySarah

enteredintoamonogamousmarriagewithRebekah(Gen.24:48-52;

66-67). In a culture suffused with polygamy, Isaac remained

monogamoustilldeath(Gen.35:27-29).Jacobhadintendedtomarry

onewife(Rachel)butthetrickeryofLabanandthecultureofthetime

forcedhimnotonlyintopolygamybutconcubinagetoo(Gen29:22-

30).Polygamyandconcubinagewerethereforetheculturalnormsat

the inceptionof theLaw.Butmarriageswithnon-covenantpeople

werestrictlyforbidden(Ex.34:14-16;Deut.7:3-4;Ezra9:1-3).King

DavidwasthemostprominentofthegodlymenundertheLawwho

livedinPolygamy(1Chr3:1-3;2Sam3:1-5).KingSolomonbecamethe

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mostpolygamousofallKingsofIsrael(1Kgs11:1-4).Evenwithallthe

tolerance allowed by the Law in respect of multiplicity of wives,

Divorceremainedobjectionable(Mal.2:15-16;Deut24:1-4).

5.0MARRIAGEUNDERTHENEWCOVENANT5.1Thegreatestauthorityon thenatureandpurposeofmarriage

under the new covenant is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. In the

beatitudes, he re-defined the Law of Moses and reconnected the

essenceoftheLawtowhatitwasinthebeginning,theedenicmodel.

Ondivorcehehadthistosay:“Ithadbeensaid,whosoevershallput

awayhiswife,lethimgiveherawritingofdivorcement,butIsayunto

you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for cause of

fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: andwhosoever shall

marryherthatisdivorcedcommittethadultery”(Matt5:31-32KJV).

Themasternotgivento 'politicalcorrectness'clearlystated inthe

above scripture the nature of marriage and the only acceptable

ground for divorce. He clearly differentiated 'fornication' (illicit

sexual relationship between unmarried persons) from 'adultery'

(illicitsexualrelationshipbetweenpersons,atleastoneofwhomis

married).Arguably,theonlyclearexampleoffornicationallegedasa

groundofdissolvingamarriage/espousaliswhattranspiredbetween

Joseph andMary (Matt 1:18-21). Yesh'ua Hamaschiach (Jesus the

Messiah)borethisoverhangingreproachthroughouthisearthlylife

as one born out of fornication (Jn.8:39-41). Thus fornication or

premaritalsexbetweenbetrothedcoupleswhoareyettobejoined

together in marriage, constitutes a ground for dissolving that

relationship. Once marriage takes place and an extra-marital

relationship(adultery)happens,itappearsthatthemaster'sremedy

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orrecipeisforgiveness(Jn.8:1-11).Thisrequiresmuchgraceandhelp

fromabovetoachieve.

5.2ToemphasizeHeaven'smindsetonthismatterofdivorce,Jesus

Christ in response toquestions from thePhariseeson thismatter

stated:“Haveyenotread,thathewhichmadethematbeginningmade

themmaleandfemale,andsaid'forthiscauseshallamanleavehis

fatherandmotherandshallcleavetohiswife:theytwainshallbeone

flesh; wherefore what God has joined together let no man put

asunder”(Matt19:4-6KJV).

ThePhariseesraisedthematterofthepositionofMosaicLawonthe

mattertowit“theysayuntohim,whydidMosesthencommandto

giveawritingofdivorcementandtoputheraway?”(Matt19:7).Jesus

responded:Mosesbecauseof thehardnessofyourheartssuffered

youtoputawayyourwives:butfromthebeginningitwasnotso.AndI

say to you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for

fornication,andshallmarryanothercommittethadultery:andwho

somarriethherwhichisputawaydothcommitadultery(Matt19:8-

9).Hisdiscipleswhounderstoodclearlywhathemeantreplied“ifthe

caseofthemanbesowithhiswife,itisnotgoodtomarry”(v10).The

implicationisthatanyonewhodivorceshiswifeshouldbereadyto

assumethestatusofaeunuchforthekingdomofheaven'ssake.That

istosay,makingheavenissoseriousamatterthatitmayinvolvethat

statusforanywillingaspirant(Matt19:11-12).

5.3 Mark's rendition of that discourse is even more pointed and

pungent(Mk10:1-12).Hearhim“whosoevershallputawayhiswife

andmarryanothercommittethadulteryagainsther.Andifawoman

shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she

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committeth adultery (v 11-12). Flowing from the Master's clear

prescriptions on the matter, Paul the Apostle now illustrated as

follows“Forawomanwhichhathanhusbandisboundbythelawto

herhusbandaslongasheliveth;butifthehusbandbedead,sheis

loosedfromtheLawofherhusband.Sothenif,whileherhusband

liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an

adulteress,butifherhusbandbedead,sheisfreefromthatlaw;so

that she is no adulteress, though shebemarried to anotherman”

(Rom7:1-3;1Cor7:39,2Cor6:14).

5.4 The church at the Corinth hadmany challenging issues about

marriagemuchlikethechurchtoday.Inresponsetothoseissues,the

Apostlereplied:“Nowconcerningthethingswhereofyewroteme:it

is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid

fornicationleteverymanhavehisownwife,andleteverywomanher

ownhusband.Letthehusbandrenderuntothewifeduebenevolence:

andlikewisealsothewifeuntothehusband.Thewifehathnotpower

ofherownbody,butthehusband;andlikewisealsothehusbandhath

notpowerofhisownbody,butthewife.Defraudyenotonetheother,

exceptitbewithconsentforatime,thatyemaygiveyourselvesto

fastingandprayer;andcometogetheragain,thatSatantemptyounot

foryourincontinency(1Cor7:1-5).Goingfurther,hecounseled;“Isay

thereforetotheunmarriedandwidows, it isgoodforthemifthey

abideevenasI.Butiftheycannotcontain,letthemmarry;foritis

bettertomarrythantoburn.AnduntothemarriedIcommand,yet

notI,buttheLord,letnotthewifedepartfromherhusband,Butandif

she departs, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her

husband:andletnotthehusbandputawayhiswife”(1Cor7:8-11)TheadamantcommandoftheLordisclear:“letnotthewifedepart

fromherhusband…andletnotthehusbandputawayhiswife”(v10-

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11).Moderncultureandtrendshavecreatedbrutalcircumstances

withinsomemarriagesthatcouldimpairlifeandbreedfrustrations.

Whatisthetemporarysolution?Separation,butwithouttheoptionof

remarriage to another person. For that man or woman, God's

expectationwithinthedivineprotocolsofmarriageisReconciliation

(v11).

5.5Marriage ranked so high in the esteem of theMaster, that he

honoredaweddingceremonyinCanaofGalileewiththefirstmiracle

of hisministry (Jn.2:1-11). In the economyofdivineprovision for

man's total wellbeing there are three fundamentally important

ingredients.Theyare:Corn,Wine,andOil(Joel1:10).Theabsenceof

these in anyhome is a recipe fordisaster. In answer todesperate

prayersof thosewhoacknowledge their lack, theLord responded

thus:“yeatheLORDwillanswerandsayuntohispeople,Behold,Iwill

sendyoucornandwineandoil,andyeshallbesatisfiedtherewith;

and I will no more make you a reproach among the heathen”

(Joel2:19).

Thescripturemakesitclearthatthehumanbeingisacompositeof

Spirit,SoulandBody(1Thess5:23).TheSpiritistherealpersonwho

possessesasoulandlivesinsideabody.Thusthespiritofamanisour

contactpointwithGod,whilstthesoul(Emotions,Will,andIntellect)

definesourpersonality/characterandthebodyrepresentsthehouse

ortabernaclethatconnectsustoworld.Cornanswerstothebody

(Physicalneeds);Wineanswers to thesoul(Emotionalneedsetc.)

and the Oil answers to the spirit (Spiritual needs). In a typical

marriage,thephysicalneedsmaybeprovidedfor,andspiritualneeds

(especially in Christian homes) are available, the basic missing

constant is always thewine (emotional needs). It is therefore not

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muchofasurprisethatattheweddinginCanaofGalilee,winewas

whatwaslacking.Theessentialingredientthatfillsemotionaltanks

withjoyandgladnesswithitsexcitingeffervescencejustfinished.

5.6Jesusandhisdiscipleswereinvitedtotheweddingandhismother

alsopresent.MarythemotherofJesusnoticedtheabsenceofwinein

the marriage and approached Him for a solution and provision.

(Jn.2:1-3).Thereweresixstonewaterpotsstationedstrategicallyfor

visitors towash their feet as soon theyarrive for the feast.Those

water potswere ordinary and already empty and Jesus asked the

servantstofillthemtothebrimwithwaterandcommandedthem

thereafter,todrawoutthewaterandtakethemtotheGovernorofthe

feast(Masterofceremony).HeartheMCafterhetastedthewaternow

turnedintowine:“Everymanatthebeginningdothsetforthgood

wine;andwhenmenhavewelldrunk,thenthatwhichisworse:but

thouhaskeptthegoodwineuntilnow”(Jn.2:10).Itjusthappenstobe

the formulaofmen to serve thebestupfront inmarriage and the

worsefollowsafter.

Dr.GaryChapmaninhisBestsellingBook:TheFiveLoveLanguages

had articulated what he described as the five basic methods of

communicatingemotionalloveas:· Affirmation· Gifts· ActsofService· Qualitytime· PhysicaltouchWehavehereinadoptedhisclassificationsandadaptedthemtosuit

thepotsespeciallyasevidencedintheministryofJesusasfollows:Pot No 1 – Words of Affirmation: This is the practice of always

appreciatingyourspouseverballyandvalidatinghisorheractions

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intentionally andmeaningfully. (Jn. 12:3-8; Mk.14:6-9; Jn.1:47-49;

Pr.31:28-29;Songs.1:15,2:3).

PotNo2–Gifts:Giftsgivinghasawayofcommunicatingvaluetosome

spouse. It's a silent communicator of love (Jn. 3:16; Acts 20:35;

Rom.5:8,1Jn.4:9)

PotNo 3 – Acts of Service: this is the practical attempt to render

unsolicitedservicetoeachotherinamarriage.It'stolookoutfora

needandgoaheadtomeetit(Jn.13:1-5,Gen.24:15-20)

PotNo4–QualityTime:Thisisthepracticeofpayingattentiontoyour

spouse. It manifests in a deep desire to spend time together

discussing, listening and generally enjoying the company of each

other(Mk.6:30-32,Songs.7:10-12)

PotNo5–PhysicalTouch:Thisisthepracticeoftouchingeachother,

holdinghands,mildembracesetc. thatcommunicateswarmthand

excitementineachother'scompany.Italsocommunicatesempathy

andaffection(Mk.1:40-42;Songs8:1-3)

PotNo6–MixtureofthePots1-5:itdoeshappenthatspousesina

marriagehavevariouswinesthatfilltheirrespectiveemotionaltanks.

Thebestapproachisalwaystoasktofindoutfromyourspousewhich

ofthespecificbrandofwinesmeetshisorheremotionalneeds.Until

thespecificchoicebecomesclear,adipintopotNo6mayprovidethe

elixirneededtorestorethemissingwine.

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5.7BASICTHERAUPTICOBLIGATIONS5.7.1Husband:LoveyourwifeasChristlovedtheChurchandgave

Himselfforit(Eph.5:2,Eph.5:25-33,Col.3:19,1Pet.3:7).5.7.2Wife: Submit yourself to yourownhusbandas the church is

submissivetoChrist(Eph.5:22-23;1Pet.3:1-2).

6.0TERMINATIONOFMARRIAGE6.1DEATH:MarriageundertheNewTestamentoncevalidlyenacted,

can only be terminated by death of either spouse (Matt.19:5-6;

Rom.7:1-3;1Cor.7:39).

6.2 DIVORCE: Marriage under the New Testament admits of no

divorceexceptonthegroundoffornicationasstatedbytheLordJesus

ChristHimself(Matt.5:31-32;Matt.19:9;Lk.16:18;Mal2:15-16).

6.3SEPARATION:Separationisallowedbythescripturesasoneof

thosetemporarymeasuresnecessarywhenamarriageexperiences

severehiccups.Thiswouldincludeinstancesofspousalabuse,assault

with battery, grievous bodily harm etc. The basic New Testament

provisionisthatwhenspousesseparate,theyremainunmarriedor

else reconcilewith each other (1Cor7:11). This is understandably

becauseofwhatmarriagetypifies;theunionbetweenChristandthe

Church(Eph.5:31-32,Gen.2:24)whichadmitsofnodivorcetilldeath.

It is instructive that if theMaster indicated that violating biblical

principleofpermanenceinmarriagebydivorceisunacceptabletothe

Lord(Mal.2:16),andthatthestatusofaneunuchispreferableforthe

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kingdomofheaven'ssake(Matt19:12,1Cor7:7-9),andtherebeingno

marriageinheaven(Matt.22:30),itbehoves Christianstomakeup

theirmindsabinitiotodomarriageGod'sway.

7.0RE-MARRIAGE:Evenifcertainscripturescanbeinterpretedto

alloworpermitdivorceonaccountofmaritalinfidelity(Gr.porneia-

fornication)asmoderntranslationshaveadopted,doespermissionof

divorceequatetoapprovalofre-marriage?Thisisonequestionthat

hasnocleardirectanswerintheNewTestamentscriptures.Paul,in

differentiating theLord'sexpresscommandondivorce(1Cor7:10-

11), addedhis ownpermissive insight as follows: “But to the rest

speakI,nottheLord;ifanybrotherhathawifethatbelievethnot,and

shebepleasedtodwellwithhim,lethimnotputheraway.Andthe

womanwhichhathanhusbandthatbelievethnot,andifhebepleased

todwellwithher,lethernotleavehim.Fortheunbelievinghusbandis

sanctifiedbythewifeandtheunbelievingwife issanctifiedbythe

husband:elsewereyourchildrenunclean;butnoware theyholy”

(1Cor7:12-14;Mal.2:15).

Nowtothecontroversialstatement:“butiftheunbelievingdepart,let

himdepart.Abrotherorasisterisnotunderbondageinsuchcases:

butGodhathcalledustopeace”(1Cor7:15).Isthepermissionforthe

departureoftheunbelievingpartnertantamounttoapprovalforre-

marriage?Whatisthemeaningoftheword'bondage'asusedinverse

15?Strictlyspeakingandflowingfromthecontextofmaritalrightsas

discussedfromchapter7:1,itisclearthatthe'bond'inquestionisthe

obligationtoprovide'duebenevolence'orsexualrightsflowingfrom

marital status. This appears to explain why he would advise the

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widowsandunmarriedthat“itisgoodforthemiftheyabideevenasI”

(1Cor.7:8).“Butiftheycannotcontain,letthemmarry;foritisbetter

tomarrythantoburn(v9).Thereforeitfollowsthatiftheunbelieving

partnerdeparts,thereisnocorrespondingobligationonthebelieving

partner to 'pursue' him to enable him or her provide the 'due

benevolence' contingent on marriage. The believer is entitled

thereaftertolivehisorherlifeinpeaceandcommittoservingthe

Lordinthestateheorshehasfoundhimselforherself(1Cor.7:26-

27).

8.0LEGALPERSPECTIVEOFMARRIAGEINNIGERIANigerianlawrecognizesthreebroadcategoriesofMarriageviz:1. Customary Marriage or Traditional Marriage: this is a

potentiallypolygamousmarriageandadmitsofdivorce.2. Shariaor IslamicMarriage: this isapotentiallypolygamous

marriageandadmitsofdivorce.3. MonogamousMarriageorMarriageunderAct:thisisstrictly

monogamousmarriageunderthematrimonialcausesActand

does not allow multiplicity of wives. It is a one man/one

woman marriage that ceases at death or divorce. It is

celebrated either in a marriage registry or in a Church

premisesgazzettedbytheGovernmenttowed.

The fourth genre is what is colloquially referred to as Christian

marriageorchurchmarriage.Thisisamarriageceremonyinsidea

church building where the parties exchange vows before God

representedbyministersandinthepresenceofGod'speople.This

marriage is monogamous and admits of no divorce. The typical

practiceistoconductatraditionalorcustomarymarriage(tofulfillall

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18

righteousness)andthenfileaformalapplicationtowedstatutorily

undertheMarriageAct.TheActallowstheMarriagetobeconducted

either in the Marriage Registry or in a church gazzetted by the

Governmenttowed.Theceremonyisconductedinachurchafterthe

traditional21daysofNoticeevidencedbybannsofmarriage.Once

celebratedinaChristianchurchaccompaniedbyappropriatevows,it

transcends the potentially polygamous traditional marriage

celebrated earlier, the under pinning statutory marriage which

althoughmonogamous,butadmitsofdivorceundercertainspecified

circumstances, and ascends that apex called Christian Marriage,

whichisbothmonogamousandunbreakableexceptbydeath.Thisis

theidealthateveryChristianshouldaspireto.

9.0CONCLUSIONGiventhathistoryaswenowknowit,willbeconsummatedwhenthe

LordJesusChristarrivesinHisglorytoenacttheultimatemarriageof

theLambandHisbride(Theredeemedofalltheages),thecrucial

question each personmust answer is: Am I livingmy life daily in

anticipation of being qualified to be called into this marriage?

(Rev.19:7-9; Rev.21:2,9; Matt.25:10). May the Lord help us to be

ready!

Singthissong:“Givemeoilinmylamp,keepmeburning…Givemeoilinmylamp,I

pray,Givemeoilinmylamp,keepmeburning…keepmeburning

tilltheBridegroomcomes”

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GODGIVEUSCHRISTIANHOMES!

1.GodgiveusChristianhomes!HomeswheretheBibleislovedandtaught,HomeswheretheMaster'swillissought,HomescrownedwithbeautyYourlovehaswrought;GodgiveusChristianhomes;GodgiveusChristianhomes!

2.GodgiveusChristianhomes!Homeswherethefatheristrueandstrong,Homesthatarefreefromtheblightofwrong,Homesthatarejoyouswithloveandsong;GodgiveusChristianhomes;GodgiveusChristianhomes!

3.GodgiveusChristianhomes!Homeswherethemother,incaringquest,StrivestoshowothersYourwayisbest,HomeswheretheLordisanhonoredguest;GodgiveusChristianhomes;GodgiveusChristianhomes!

4.GodgiveusChristianhomes!HomeswherethechildrenareledtoknowChristinHisbeautywholovesthemso,Homeswherethealtarfiresburnandglow;GodgiveusChristianhomes;GodgiveusChristianhomes!

HYMNSS&S571MOREABOUTJESUSWOULDIKNOW

1.MOREaboutJesuswouldIknowMoreofHisgracetoothersshow;MoreofHissavingfullnesssee,MoreofHislove–whodiedforme.

More,moreaboutJesusMore,moreaboutJesusMoreofHissavingfullnesssee,MoreofHislovewhodiedforme

2.MoreaboutJesusletmelearn,MoreofHisholywilldiscern;SpiritofGod,myteacherbe,ShowingthethingsofChristtome

3.MoreaboutJesus;inHisWordHoldingcommunionwithmyLord;HearingHisvoiceineveryline,Makingeachfaithfulsayingmine,

4.MoreaboutJesus,onHisthrone,RichesingloryallHisown;MoreofHiskingdom'ssureincrease;MoreofHiscoming–Princeofpeace.

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20

HYMNSS&S902MYHOPEISBUILTONNOTHINGLESS

1.MyhopeisbuiltonnothinglessThanJesus'bloodandrighteousness;Idarenottrustthesweetestframe,ButwhollyleanonJesu'name.

OnChristthesolidRock,Istand;Allothergroundissinkingsand.Allothergroundissinkingsand.

2.WhendarknesshidesHislovelyface,IrestonHisunchanginggrace;Ineveryhighandstormygale,Myanchorholdswithinthevail.

3.Hisoath,Hiscovenant,Hisblood,Supportmeinthe'whelmingflood;Whenallaroundmysoulgivesway,Hethenisallmyhopeandstay.

4.WhenHeshallcomewithtrumpetsound,Oh,mayItheninHimbefound;ClothedinHisrighteousnessalone,Faultlesstostandbeforethethrone.

HYMNSS&S877STANDINGONTHEPROMISESOFGODMYKING

1.STANDINGonthepromisesofChristmyking,ThrougheternalagesletHispraisesring;Gloryinthehighest,Iwillshoutandsing,StandingonthepromisesofGod

Stand…ing…stand….ingStandingonthepromisesofGodmySaviour;Stand…ing…stand….ingI'mstandingonthepromisesofGod

2.Standingonthepromisesthatcannotfail,Whenthehowlingstormsofdoubtandfearassail,BythelivingwordofGodIshallprevailStandingonthepromisesofGod

3.StandingonthepromisesInowcansee,Perfect,presentcleansinginthebloodforme;StandinginthelibertywhereChristmakesfree,StandingonthepromisesofGod

4.StandingonthepromisesofChristtheLord,BoundtoHimeternallybylove'sstrongcord,Overcomingdailywiththespirit'ssword,standingonthepromisesofGod

5.StandingonthepromisesIcannotfail,ListeningeverymomenttotheSpirit'scall,RestinginmySaviourasmyallinall,StandingonthepromisesofGod