Chapter three Effective Listening Eng. Mohammad Al-sumady Communication Skills ELE205.

Chapter three

Effective Listening

Eng. Mohammad Al-sumady

Communication SkillsELE205

Outline

• Why listening is important??

• Hearing VS listening

• Types of listening

• Why bad listening occur?

Listening is important

The International Listening Association presents interesting facts and statistics that describe the importance of listening in our lives:

• 85% of what we know we have learned by listening.

• We remember only 20% of what we hear

• Less than 2% of us have had any formal educational experience with listening

• Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated

• The hurt feeling generated when we fail to demonstrate

our listening skills can damage our personal and

occupational relationships with others.

• People are fired, customer are lost and working

relationship are strained , friendship suffer, marriage and

families fail because of ineffective listening.


• When we do listen and are listened to, we experience a confirming connection that brings about shared understanding, which is the goal of effective communication.

• In fact, we spend 50% of our communication listening, estimate listening efficiency reach 25%, then we miss ¾ of what we hear.

The highest compliment that you could pay to supervisor as, “I like my boss; he listens to me!” .


Hearing VS. Listening

The term “listening” has different meanings for different people:

- Listening involve paying attention and maintaining eye contact

- Remembering what has been said word-for- word- Reading between lines to perceive the unspoken

message.“None of them contains all elements of the effective

listening”Some individuals confuse listening with hearing

Hearing VS. Listening Hearing is sensory process that includes:

•Conversion of acoustical

energy

•Sound reception

•Auditory sensation

•Transfer to the brain

Listening is a mental process that includes:•Choosing to attend (mentally & physically)

•Understanding thoughts

and feelings

•Confirming meaning

•Responding appropriately

Hearing VS. Listening

Technicians of all kinds use Hearing skills to monitor procedures. Judge the smoothness of operations or locate problems.

They hear “whirs”, “pings”, “screeches”, “pops”,…..etc, hearing these sounds can trigger the listening process to begin.

After recognition of aural stimuli, they can decide whether the sound deserve attention or not

“Hearing involves the physical recognition of sound”

Hearing VS. Listening Listening goes beyond simple recognition of sound and can be defined in terms of the following elements:

-Attending to the speaker (mentally and physically).

-Assigning meaning of both the verbal and nonverbal

messages.

-Verifying accurate understanding of these messages.

-Evaluating the importance of message.

-And finally, responding appropriately.

Types of Listening

1. Discriminative: involves recognizing different auditory and visual messages and identifying their distinguishing features before we process the messages at any other level.

2. Comprehensive: listening to understand a message in order to recall or use that information at a later time (lecture, conference, film,…)

3. Therapeutic: listening to provide a troubled sender with the opportunity to talk through a problem. (it is common when friends face choices in there lives and when strong feelings need to be expressed and heard).

Types of Listening

4. Critical: listening to understand and evaluate the content of the message (to judge and separating facts and drawing conclusions. used in negotiations and making decisions).

5. Appreciative: listening to obtain sensory stimulation or enjoyment through the works and experiences of others (music, poetry, words of a great leader).

Listening Tree

Discriminative listening

comprehensive

therapeuticcritical appreciative

Minimize bad listening habits…..

Bad listening occurs…..

• Because we are poorly trained to listen

Through our formal

education, we offered

learn reading,

speaking,

writing and rarely

listening.


• Mistaken belief that because we are bombarded with an overwhelming number of messages daily. We somehow learn to listen automatically.

Radio commercials, scream at us as we drive to work, machines grind, hum the noises of production, stereo systems…..such overloads instead of helping us to listen better, teaches us to tune out many of the messages we receive.

(External distraction)

Minimize Bad listening habits…..


• Because we disagree with speaker.

When we doubt what the speaker is saying, when we begin to formulate a response before the speaker has concluded, or when we are preoccupied with our own personal problems.

(Internal distractions keep us from listening well)



• Because we overreact to emotional words (we can not listen if we are angry, happy)

Our listening effectiveness drops as

our emotional responses increases.Listing to a speaker who is against

you (in beliefs, attitudes,..) is difficult.Emotional control: not easy to be achieved, but

essentially for successful listening.


Bad listening occurs…..• Because of falling to use the thought- speed advantage (i.e. we think

faster than any one can talk. We must give ourselves the chance to understand the message completely). We fool ourselves by believing that we can do the followings and still listen at the same time :

- Daydreaming- Plan- Take mental holidays- Worry- Allow our mind to wonder


Bad listening occurs….. To overcome:• We must become aware of the problem.

We must find out what cause our bad listening habits and take steps to overcome them.

• To improve listening, learn new listening skills and habits to replace the poor listening well-established habits you have.


Outline-lec.2

• Interpret nonverbal behavior.

• Listening tools:

- Attending tools

- Remembering tools

- Evaluating tools

- Responding tools

Nonverbal behavior.

• To understand the total message we must

receive both verbal and non verbal

components.

• Nonverbal message can replace, strengthen

or contradict the verbal message.

Nonverbal Behaviors

In face-to-face situation, factors such as

distance, body orientation, eye contact,

posture, tone of voice, gesture and others can

provide information.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Non-verbal communication can be classified into several categories:

1.Kinesics: body behaviors.

2.Proxemics: the language of space (distance).

3.Chronemics: time is part of the total message.

4.Touch

5.Appearance

Nonverbal Behaviors

Kinesics: refers to many behaviors of the

body, Ex. : posture, gesture, body

orientation, facial expressions and eye

behavior. Body speaks in many ways.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Proxemics includes the following elements:

1.Language of space (culture bounded)

2.Distance

3.Territory

4. Space

Nonverbal Behaviors

Proteomics is the study of set measurable

distances between people as they interact.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Territory: our relationship to fixed space

such as favorite chair at home, our work

place.

Nonverbal Behaviors

We need to be aware of others

“personal space”, ”territories” and

“distance” when we communicate at

work

Nonverbal Behaviors

Chronemics:

Is the study of the use of time

in communication. The way we

perceive time, structure our time

and react to time is a powerful

communication tool, and helps set

the stage for the communication

process.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Chronemics (our sensation of time):

• How much time it takes to communicate the message?

And how urgent the message is?

• Cultural difference and individuals sensation of time

• Focusing on multiple things at one time

• Focusing on single thing at one time.

Touch: •Touch can share a rang of feelings from warm feeling to a congratulatory to a push away. (pay attention, I am here, move over)

•Touch behavior must be

interpreted in light of culture,

status, gender,

and personality. (take care!!)

Nonverbal Behaviors

Appearance: includes the body, clothing, possessions((امتعه and belonging. People assign meanings to our body types, skin color, manner of dress, hair style and accessories we display. For example tattoos, and nose ring.

Appearance is only a part of the total message & may work to reinforce it or contradict it.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Listening tools:

Listening tools includes:

A. Attending tools

B. Remembering tools

C. Evaluating tools

D. Responding tools

Listening tools:

A) Attending tools includes:

1. Attitudes.

2.Attending behaviors.

3.Emotional control.

Listening tools:

A) Attending tools:

The central (positive) attitude important to

listening effectively is “I WANT to

understand you” and other positive attitudes:

•I want to avoid distractions

•I want to hear before I judge

Listening tools:

Actions associated with good attending behavior (each of

them has a best or optimum level of effectiveness much

like a carburetor setting ) includes:

1.eye contact that is appropriate in duration, frequency

2.Body postures that reflect your interest (back off chair,

slight forward lean and body orientations)

3.Distance that is suitable for the message being shared

(personal, social or public)

Listening tools:

Suggestions to follow when attending a talk:

•Stop talking, ( you can’t listen & talk @ the same time)

•Hear the speaker out, (wait until the speaker has

completed his message before offering a response).

•Tune out distractions, or minimize as much as you

can ( all; internal, external,… )

Listening tools:

4.Develop an open mind tolerance of ideas and

opinions different from your own. Don’t lose your

“cool”, (stop mentally debating with the speaker before you

fully understand what is being said ).

5.Take advantage of though speed (review what said,

relate to your own experiences & predict the speaker next line

of speech).

Outline-lec.3

• Listening tools:

- Attending tools

- Remembering tools

- Evaluating tools

- Responding tools

Listening tools:

B) Remembering tools: (after paying attention to the speaker)

We remember information more easily when message is:

1. Meaningful, useful and of interest to us

2. Out of ordinary

3. Organized

4. Visual

• Capacity to remember increased when listener needs specific information.

Listening tools:

B) Remembering tools:Lyman suggests memory techniques steps:

1. Repeating or making notes if the listener must recall the exact

words (if not recall the meaning )

2. Linking (link first to the second…good for items list)

3. Picturing (mental image for the location being described, good

for directions)

4. Grouping (phone number, social security number…)

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

1.Separate facts from interference or opinion.

2. Detect logical fallacies((مغالطات.

3. Be sensitive to biased language.

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools: (As the attentive listener (منتبه)gains an

understanding of the total message, the critical

listening process begins)

The critical listener separates facts from interferences and opinion, detects logical fallacies, spots relative terms, & maintains emotional control

Listening tools:C) Evaluating tools:

Facts:

•Made after observation based on observable sense data. Observation

report what you can see, touch, hear and smell.

• Only about present or past never the future.

•Stay with observation

• Objective & devoid of any interpretations, conclusions, or

assumptions about what has been observed, like observing a man with

a tattoo on his arm is a fact, assuming he must belong to motorcycle

club is an inference ((إستدالل that goes beyond the observable data.

Listening tools:


1.Separate facts from inference:

Inferences

• Made at any time (past , present or at future)

• Go beyond observation (as in biker with tattoo case).

• Unlimited in scope (include assumption, conclusion

and interruption about what has been observed)

Listening tools:


1.Separate facts from interference:

It’s often a good idea to state your opinions to others in non factual terms by the use of an ‘I’ message. (I think, To me, From my point of view,…).

Listening tools:

Example:

Sandy and Pat, both data processors, are especially good

at their jobs. There combined experience totals some 30

years. They are reliable , hardworking , and very strong

individuals. In fact, Sandy lifts weight for a hobby, and

Pat plays basketball.

Listening tools:

Example: (T) True (F) False (?) Inference

• This story concerns two men ? T F (?)

•Sandy and pat are both hard workers? (T) F ?

•Sandy is handicapped? T F (?)

•Pat and sandy are married to each other? T F (?)

•Sandy never lifted weights? T (F) ?

Listening tools:


2. Detect logical fallacies:

• Faulty causation: when coincidental events are seen as having

a cause effect relationship.

• Either : thinking presents 2 alternatives when, in fact many

more possibilities exist; there are many possible alternatives,

look for other possibilities that are not stated. Whenever

either/or decision presented

Listening tools:


2. Detect logical fallacies:

• Hasty generalization: few samples used to represent the whole of

the conclusion. (if several of our friends own hybrid cars, its

hastily to conclude that hybrid sales are taking off. ( متسرع تعميم

• Circular reasoning: restates what you are trying to prove without

providing evidence.

• Comparison: you must look for differences not only similarities

Listening tools:


A critical listener must be aware of relative terms that cloud the exact

meaning of a message and may create misunderstanding.

Relative terms such as “several” “many” and “most” lack

specific meaning to communicate clearly. Like wise terms

such as “inexpensive” “affordable” “limited warranty” may

suggest different meanings to critical listener. Be careful to

question the exact meaning of such terms.

Listening tools:


3. Be sensitive to biased language:

Critical listener must be sensitive to loaded words.

Listening tools:

D) Responding tools: (In addition of attitudes,

the listener must choose how to respond to message received)

1. Evaluating:

Judge: right, wrong, good, bad. Ex: That was stupid, That’s right,

Advice: Offer advice, share solutions. Ex: why don’t you..?, if I

were you…, you really should.

Listening tools:

D) Responding tools:

2. Interrupting :Explains or teaches. This response explains

why something happens by adding information not

stated in the original problem. Ex: You may feel that

way because…., Maybe the reason of this problem

is…, She probably did that because…..

Listening tools:


3. Supporting: reassure and comfort to make people feel

better, cheer them up, offer help or

encouragement. Ex: look at the progress you have

made since…., I am sure things will be better, If

there is any way I can help….

Listening tools:


4. Questioning: probes, clarifies, or seeking more information.

Two types: closed questions (yes or no), open

questions (more than yes or no). What makes you think

that? Where were you…..?

5. Paraphrasing : Summarizes, restates or reflects. Shows your

understanding by your own words . Ex: if I understand

you, you have…. In other words..

Listening tools:


An important point to remember is that these responses

are not right or wrong. They all have their place

in effective interaction with those who have

problems. What’s needed is practice in

developing the skillful and appropriate use of

these responses.

------------------------See page 55

End of chapter 3

Any question?

Chapter three Effective Listening Eng. Mohammad Al-sumady Communication Skills ELE205.

Documents