Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Communicating as Collaborators, Consultants, and Team Members

By: Kaitlyn Fenton

“Communication is not simply delivering a message. It involves talking, listening, managing interpersonal conflict, and addressing concerns together. Key components of successful communication are understanding, trust, autonomy, and flexibility. Effective communicators withhold judgment and minimize efforts to control the path of communication.”

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Communication for effective school relationships.

New Generation of Communication

Special educators must master the art of communication in order to maintain a supportive environment around co-workers, students, and families.

Verbal Aspects of Communication

Semantics

Body Language

Nonverbal communication

Miscommunication breeds misunderstanding

Differing values, ambiguous language, stereotypes, assumptions, and personal experiences can also effect they way you communicate “Telephone Game”

Nonverbal Aspects of Communication

Six Categories: Eye Contact Gestures Paralanguage (volume,

rate, pitch, and pronunciation)

Posture Overall facial

expressions Clothing and Physical

Setting

Ethnic and Gender Differences in

Communication

May effect both sender and receiver.

How males and females communicate is different.

Cultural differences can happen in many ways: Use of space Touch Appearance Voice Tone Body Language

Building Skills for Communicating

Five Major Skill Sets1. Rapport Building

2. Responsive Listening

3. Assertion

4. Conflict Management

5. Collaborative Problem Solving

Rapport-Building Skills

Work together to identify the problem and provide ideas toward solving the problem.

People want to know that the other person is really listening

Trust, Respect, Feeling that it is okay not to have all the answers, feeling free to ask question, and feeling all right about disagreeing are central aspects of building a relationship.

You must learn to respect individuals differences and convey high esteem for others.

“Accept people for who they are rather than wishing they were different.”

Responsive Listening Skills(Responding, both verbally and nonverbally, to the words and

actions of the speaker.)

Talk Less, Listen More! “Effective talkers must

be careful not to let the lines of communication get tangled up in a tendency to talk too much or too often.”

Why so difficult? Hard to keep an open

mind. May think listening

implies agreeing. May be tired, anxious, or

bursting with energy.

Responsive Listening helps: Gather information on students with

special needs. Others feel better by reducing

stress/anxiety. Encourage others to express

themselves freely and fully. Promote self-understanding and

problem-solving abilities.

Three Major Components: 1. Nonverbal Listening 2. Encouraging the

sending of messages. 3.Showing

understanding of the message.

Nonverbal Listening Skills

“…should demonstrate to the speaker that the receiver is respecting the speaker enough to concentrate on the message and is following the speaker’s thoughts to find the real message.”

-Avoid predicting what the speaker will say and NEVER complete their sentences.

Verbal Listening Skills

Three skills that promote talking by the speaker: Inviting- providing an

opportunity for others to talk by signaling that you are interested in listening.

Encouraging- words added to nodding that encourage continued talking.

Cautious Questioning- use minimal questioning, only questions used to clarify what the speaker is saying.

Paraphrasing Skills(“…think carefully about the message and reflect it back to the speaker without changing the content or intent of the message.”)

*Accurate and Brief*

Allows the listener to check their understanding of the message. The speaker will either nod in agreement or correct the listener.

Listen, Empathize, and Communicate Respect

Assertiveness(Now it’s your turn)

■ use an “I” message instead of a “you” message.

■ say “and” instead of “but.”

■ state the behavior objectively.

■ name your own feelings.

■ say what you want to happen.

■ express concern for others (empathy).

■ use assertive body language.

Assertiveness (cont.)Concern for others

during the interaction

“…although people have thoughts and feelings that differ from those of others, they can still respect the feelings and ideas of others.”

If the listener portrays that they understand the struggles of the speaker the speaker will be more likely to listen and work cooperatively.

How to be concerned and assertive

Use “I” sentences rather than “you” sentences.

Use “and” rather than “but”

write down how you will phrase what you want to say and practice saying it aloud until it feels natural and you are comfortable with the words and phrasing.

assertive communication includes showing supportive body language, a firm voice, straight posture, eye contact, and body orientation toward the receiver.

The Art of Apologizing

Never blame someone else for communication breakdowns, accept responsibility for your own communication.

APOLOGIZING DOES NOT PUT YOU AT A DISADVANTAGE!

Never say “but” after saying “I’m sorry”.

Most importantly, apologies are empty if you keep repeating the behavior or the mistake.

Roadblocks to Communication

Barriers that do not allow effective collaborative relationship.

We do not intend to send blocking messages but sometimes we inadvertently do.

Nonverbal Roadblocks

Facing away or looking at another person.

Inappropriate facial expressions.

Distracting actions (ex:tapping a pencil)

These undermine the spirit of collaboration.

Verbal Roadblocks Three types:

1.Judging Criticizing, name calling,

or analyzing why a person is behaving a certain way.

2.Sending Solutions Directing or ordering,

warning, moralizing or preaching, advising, and using logical arguments or lecturing.

Avoiding Others’ Concerns “no big deal”

Managing Resistance, Negativity, Anger, and Conflict

it is critical to separate the person from the problem.

expressing the emotions and addressing the issues can lead to positive outcomes if done in the proper time and place.

Why do we resist change?■ have a vested interest in the status quo■ have low tolerance for change■ feel strongly that the change would be undesirable■ Be unclear about what the change would entail or

bring about■ fear the unknown

Why Collaborative Partners Resist

It is uncomfortable when people disagree

Occasionally another individual says something that pushes a “hot button”

How to deal with resistance and negativity

It starts with handling your own defensiveness.

Negative people are not going to change, the person who has to change is the consultant.

Do not engage in the negativity.

Refrain from taking negativity personally.

Communicate in writing first.

Instead of reacting, seek to regain a mental balance and stay focused. So, don’t react.

Why people get angry.

When situations come off as unfair or threatening and the person feels helpless.

Differences in opinions, values, and behaviors.

An action following frustration, unmet expectations, loss of self-respect, or fear.

Accompanied by anxiety and powerlessness.

How to deal with the anger.

Address the problem rather than the person.

Try to find a shared goal.

Speak more softly and calmly and listen intently.

Get to know them as people, not problems.

Write down your final commitments to obtain a record that can be looked back on.

Why conflict occurs in school contexts.

There are unreconciled differences in terms of needs, values, goals, and personalities.

Disagreement over teaching methods, learning and behavioral goals, assessment methods, and values.

There is too little information or because misunderstandings have been created from incorrect information.

People have different values about children, education, or educator roles within the learning context.

How to resolve school related

conflicts. Agree to common goals or

common ground for discussion.

First listen responsively and acknowledge what is being said.

“Everybody wins” philosophy.

Put aside preconceived notions about your own expertise.

Establish ground rules for resolving the conflict.

Technology to Facilitate Communication Among Collaborators

Email can facilitate or hinder efforts to collaborate.

Lack a tone of voice, body-language signals, and other nonverbal elements.

There is a network etiquette that should be followed in order to best benefit this type of collaboration.

Communicating Ethically in Collaborative Ways

Write down what one plans to say.

Keep a log for recording interactions, analyzing them, and reflecting on ways to fix any complications.

Select words and expressions carefully.

Have a colleague read something before sending it.

Begin on a positive note.

Listen instead of arguing, establish ground rules, and work toward common goals and expectations.

Remain calm and listen always.