Chapter 2

The VonNuke Family

An Apocalypse Challenge

Chapter 2: Now It Really Begins

You're back? Seriously? Wow, you must be really really awesome. Or have a suicidal tendency – in that case I'd strongly recommend a therapist.

In our last update, our miserable spouse selfishly refused to get a promotion, while hard-working Chippeth slaved over his job as an Ecological Guru, and managed to get knocked up soon after.

We left as he was giving birth, which reminds me...

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Rum VonNuke into the world!

Well, his father is a gangsta-pirate, and the latter drinks rum. What else would he call his child?

As you can see, he got his other (less important) daddy's eyes and hair. Lets hope it doesn't shine through on his face, eh?

After unceremoniously dumping Rum into a crib, Chip starts his gardening. In Winter. In the snow.

Hey, it's still possible to get bugs, you just need to focus!

Focus I say!

And pretty soon the endless watering begins. Once you get them to thriving stage, you're golden, but it takes a long, long, long, long time to get there.

The rest is luck. Which, yanno, is completely unreliable.

Inside, instead of skilling, Tyson tries to connect with the only child he is EVER going to have.

Seriously, ever.

“So, what should I do with this *(&%^bag?”

Change it's diaper? Toss it in the air? Eat it?

“Tossing it sounds good.”

Chippeth eventually has to leave his dismal little plants to take matters into his own hands.

Yeah, the highest level of plant happiness was an orange sad face.

Joy.

Rum's needs were quickly taken care of though. Yay Chippeth!

“So, G, when can we bump off Tyson?”

Sorry. We can't. I have MOAR plans with him, which involves him staying as a Mad Scientist … and maybe a satellite...

“So you'll just tell the readers?”

I believe you mean reader?

“Shut it, G.”

“No, I'm not £$^£%&(%$ studying cooking! The environment is too low.”

No. No it isn't. And anyway, you're platinum from becoming best friends with a townie who stalked you.

“Like I *(^$%(^* care!”

I really, really hate this sim.

On the bright side, the plants are now 'healthy' … for like, three seconds.

But Chip got his gold gardening badge, which means he can talk to plants!

It will be an invaluable tool...:D

Now, Rum is not 'healthy'. Tyson here treks down two floors to the fridge with a smelly Rum. Then stands there.

“Ugh, that *%%&**^$%^%&^& smells!”

Great. Real great, Tyson. Go fall down a ditch.

Umm, Chip?

“Yeah, G?”

Could you take care of your son please?

“Is Tyson with him?”

Yeah.

“There we go, Rum. All fed, changed and social'd. Night night.”

“Burp.”

And a day later, Tyson comes home from his none-promoting job and throws his baby into Toddlerhood.

Then, being the family sim that he is, demands 10 more babies. No 'Teach Rum a Vital Skill', just 10 babies, and the want to become friends with other townies.

In his fear panel is 'Get Caught Cheating.' WTF?

Anyway, let's assess the damage, shall we?

OMG LIPS ARGHHHHHH!

Um … ew.

Wow, he could swallow several small children with that maw!

All together now:

'Om nom nom'

And so he begins playing with his Rabbit Head.

“Bunny? You fink I'm adorabubble, don't you?”

“Sherg Shnaw.”

“I luffles you bunny!”

“Howd me dabby! Howd me!”

Run, Chip, run!

“No, he's my mini-brother, G.”

Chip rolls helpful wants like 'Teach Rum to Walk/Talk/Poop'. He's a good daddy.

“Dabby, why don't we have any plants? Naturalala Science has been lifted!”

Hmmm, good question.

“Mummy?”

Who?

“You! You mummy!”

Ahhh, okay. What'cha want Rum?

“I'm sowwy for questionining your logicality. We don't need plants, really.”

Oh. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at those lips.

Chip. Put that book away. Entertainment isn't lifted!

“Hobby Coding, G.”

Oh god, the Borg are gonna flip.

Meanwhile, Tyson doesn't need to put his book away. Why is that?

“'Cause you are a &%**$$&%*$*danielradcliffe*(^&%%8*65855876pileof(&)&&%^^%*&. And I can't find an excuse not to.”

Hehehehhe, almost there. Almost to that promotion.

“I can walk now, dabby. Are you proud?”

“Awww, can we keep him, G?”

If you insist.

Chip – he's a wierdo.

“Culinary Restriction!”

Well, we knew he could talk anyway. Chip's just teaching him the words he'll us most.

“No shower!”

See?

“Sexy!”

Umm … we'll have to find him a pretty wifey then, won't we?

“Mummy, who is this strange man?”

Somebody who SHOULD be skilling. But thanks for the diaper change. Easiest way to increase a toddler's hygiene in an Apocalypse,

“Happy, £^%^?”

Very, thank you.

Chip quit his job.

Next slide now.

“Oh, $&*&$”

OMFG! You got promoted!

“Yeah, but I've still got one to go. I still win!”

“Hey, Tucker. Fancy joining the family?”

“Woof!”

I thought we were getting a cat?

“Cats hate us.”

Oh. Okay then. Carry on.

Grrr. He's a pigpen. Just my luck.

As Chippeth goes and gets him a job in Show Biz, the dog tucks (pun intented) into a nice, healthy chef salad, Yummy!

Tyson begins his first day as a Theorist.

Say, I have a theory. Ugly sims make bad sims.

“You need $%$%%^ proof!”

Oh, Gage Uglacy, Uranium Apocalypso, Tyson VonNuke...

“No, I'm different to them!”

Yes, people actually like Gage and Uranium. Hence, they are downloaded and towniefied.

“Say, old guy, how about I give you a glitchy backrub, you become my friends and then I'll let you watch my Toddler grow up?”

Ahhh, the Intelligence restrictions. Gotta love 'em!

Hmmm … Tyson wasn't lying. His son really was growing up.

“So .. Mummy, am I still adorabubble?”

From this angle … maybe. Keep to the baby voice though, it might win you a few points.

“With who, mummy?”

The reader!

“Hehe, you're funny, mummy!”

Also, we have a new bookshelf!

I know, I'm way too funny.

And a new bed cover! Which doesn't look like a zombiefest had taken place!

“But … but Zombiefest did happen mummy! It's why we are in a apocapocalypse!”

That's nice, Rum. You just sleep now.

“Come on, G! Speak!”

“Woof!”

“No, you're doing it WRONG!”

Pets and gangsta's do not mix. Though they are both adorable – that counts for something, right?

Right? 'Cause adorableness and sexiness is really what the apocalypse is about!

“Oh £^$&^%, he saw me!”

Wait … are you skilling?

“Well, if you can't ^%$ beat them, join the ^*^*)*&)s!)”

So, is this the start of a beautiful new friendship?

“No.”

“Well, I have 3 %&%%^&(^ days until I return to work! And a possible spouse for Rummy!”

Rum might be able to find one himself, yanno.

“Have you seen the little &**&(*^?”

...you have a point. ]:

...well, she is pretty, and if she came home with a Theorist she might have a ton of skill points …

We'll call her!

“Oh, crap!”

“Say, *^*^*(&, wanna join the family?”

“Well, I'm flattered, but Intelligence rules and everything...”

“Oh. Well, come back in a few weeks.”

“Oh, and did you hear about Boom Boom Apocalypso? The little *((&^()* went and &*&(^&) that *&(^*&^(“

“Tyson, you really are too much. Bye now.”

“Well, I didn't do too well on spelling … and my speaking and listenening skills may need an 'ikkle bit of work...”

Feh, don't worry about it. You aren't going to High School anyway.

Following Rum home, Tucker pops out of the car, without a promotion I might add, with this thought bubble. Charming. Really, really charming.

Tyson isn't too fond of Tucker either...

“So, my dog is a none-promotion failure! *(^((&*)(8 Right?”

“Ummm, hypocritical?”

Do I spy rule breakage?

“No, Dabby wrote this book. It's goody!”

Oh. FairyIndia 'Nuff

“I'm sowwy Mummy, but dis coding makes me not do my homework unless I'm funned!”

Well, just skill!

“Fun Skilling! Whee!”

BTW, note to Maxi ApocaRuleJunkies, this was before Jump Rope was restricted.

AKA, the Golden Days. Jump Rope, how I do miss thee...

“... I *&%(& did it. Happy?”

Umm, excuse me?

“I maxed Cleaning! What ya' gonna ^%^ do about it?”

Ummm, send you to study Cooking?

“Woof!”

Sorry, Tucker. It's all we could give you!

“Growl!”

Pfft, ungrateful dog. I would eat that salad … with BBQ sauce maybe … and a blocked nose … maybe

So, as you can see, Chip started Gardening again! Hopefully, we'll have bugs by the time Tyson lifts his career!

“Say, plantG, 'sup?”

“Frostbite. Lack of potassium. Mildew.”

“Greenfly?”

“No.”

And so the ever-more-bearable fishlips decides to help his Dabby.

“This raises my fun!”

Well, that's just as well!

Awww, Rum/Dabby simul-gardening is adorable.

“Yes, we are adorabubble!”

“The kid said it right, G.”

These two have really grown on me. =']

Ouch! Sorry Borg, I was tending to other duties!

Well, at least I'm being honest? Please forgive me!

Tyson, weren't you skilling like, ummm, 2 seconds ago?

“Yeah, ^%^&%. But I was … hungry.”

You're in the green. Like anything you would actually get to eat.

“%^^*%”

Now, back to the bookshelf!

Uh oh! Time to get back inside, Chip!

“I-I-I'm f-f-ine, G-G-G!”

Inside. NOW!

Hem hem?

“Who the ^%^&% are you? Dolores ^%%^& Umbridge?”

Thing is, I never actualy sent you here. I sent Chippeth.

“Then why is he reading a cooking book?”

Damn! I mixed up the commands! And you've got work in, like, a day.

NO! COOKERY BOOK!

“Fun is too low.”

But, you've got like, a tiny smidge left. Please, I'm begging you, do it for the ones you love … or something.

“No.”

...Nobhead! See, I can swear! Ha!

“...you'll take off the censor if I lift myrestriction?”

Well, I'm glad to see you've got your priorities straight.

And … maybe.

“Must … increase … cooking … skill”

Heh, I set him to serve the daily meal. Chef Salad gives a surprisingly large amount of Cooking experience.

“Almost … there … Can almost taste freedom of speech ...”

Yeah, the Apocalypse happened in SimBritain. Your freedom of speech includes … well, endless swearing.

Yeah, I'm screwed.

“It's … it's so ^^&&^ close!”

Well, I suppose if you give a sim some motivation, they'll actually listen.

Well, I did warn there may be HELPFUL HINTS!

...as you can see, I lied.

“It's … it's ...”

Here?

“Not yet.”

...Oh.

C'mon Tyson! Get in there!

I'm just happy I didn't have to max it!

Yes, this is Tyson getting the needed Cooking Point. Enjoy it … somehow.

Rum? Well, under Pet Showbiz, 'Children and Teens may still be directed to Clean, Repair, and Cook.'

So, here he is, getting ready to mop up a pet pee puddle (TM).

Easy cleaning skilling!

Chip? Well, he was discussing the Music restrction.

Probably telling the plants that they'll all die as soon as Chippeth gets bored.

Oh, and we see our first bugs!

This made me so uncontrollable happy! I needed to get … like … a happiness controller!

Hmmm, that would be really handy when you get that hyperactive employee who works at SubWay. You'd make him depressed, then be able to cheerfully say 'Service with a smile!'

Actually, to all who read this, I dare you to say 'Service with a smile!' to any person who looks miserable when they serve you.

It's great fun.

Ahem, back onto the bugs. It's extra work to keep them alive, but it will be OH SO WORTH it!

EXCITEMENT!

And Rum mops up the unlimited supply of water coming from 4 broken sinks. He's got 5 cleaning points in one night.

...Maybe it should be restricted?

MOAR BUGS!

AND TODAY IS TYSON'S PROMOTION DAY hopefully!

CAPS LOCK!!!!!!!!!!!

...It's so close!

Tucker … yeah, a promotion isn't in sight. And I do have alfixes.package.

...HURRY UP MUTT!

Sorry, I'm getting impatient!

“Hey, Chippeth … I'm rolling a want ...”

“It'll put me into Gold … and I'm getting that big promotion today, remember?”

“G, there is no way I'm getting knocked up again! Besides, the car's here right now!”

Chippeth never lies … and that plumbob is GREEN!

A good green. That promotion is in the bag!

And fast-forwarding a few hours, and I see this...

Uh oh. He looks happy.

What happened? Tell me everything!

“Well...”

“At work, we just sit off. We don't even wear uniform – it's the *((^^& life!

My shift was about to end, and it was becoming dark, so I began to set off home...”

“But, on the floor was something I had never seem before..”

“I picked it up, and the sun started shining out of it! I almost dropped it!”

“It started falling through my hands, and I feared that the light would be demolished. So I acted quick!”

You do realise that I haven't used the censors for the past few slides?

“*&%^*&”

“So, anyway, I managed to hold the &^(*(^(. I could see through the darkness of the wasteland, and suddenly, I saw more and more … things.”

“A single source of light flickered. But it made a path very clear!”

“A trail of light took my interest and I started to follow them. As you do.”

“So I ran, and I ran, and then I saw this ugly hulk of a building.”

“I decided to investigate the &*^ place. For fun, not because I give a &*^(*”

“What I saw shocked me to the core. I actually felt a ^&%&*^ emotion!

It was horrible. I never want to go down that *&^%^ path again!”

“Genius inventions sat, gathering dust. I was in awe as I tried them out.”

“More lights shone at me!”

“On the wall hung a notice, saying how I could switch on 'electricity'. I thought 'why not? The world is already screwed over'!”

So you were willing to risk glitches and misery for the sake of FUN?

“(*&&& off!”

“So, I went over to a machine sitting in a corner, and started pressing the buttons which the sign told me too.”

Beep, bop, beep, bop.

Shhhhhhrik!

“Oh, and while I was there, I decided to make pesticides. Fun times!”

Tyson … I really do love you.

“All in a day's work! Aren't you glad I listened to your every command?”

...I forgive you, Tyson.

“&*%^^^! That wasn't what I meant!”

Ahhh … goodbye murky nighttimes and insects!

I can now use electric items, lights, have more than one computer and use pesticides!

Now, that is worth a Family Sim dance!

And we all know what that means!

Spray, Chippeth! Spray like you've never sprayed before!

“Well, I haven't, G.”

...That was anticlimatic!

You sprayed 6 plants! I thought it'd take much longer!

I even had the picture planned – the transformation would have looked SO GOOD against the white background!

After 6 sprays! Though, I shouldn't complain!

.And the first thing I do is send Chippeth to the broken sinks, and all of a sudden...

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Five!

Wow, 6 children and a dog in one update!

And this is where I shall leave you!

As always, comments are more than accepted! They are revered!

Until next time, you sexy, sexy readers!

X x x