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CBTGCBTG
presentspresents
Effective Effective Communication at Communication at
WorkWork
Why Emotional Intelligence MattersWhy Emotional Intelligence Matters
Emotional Intelligence is the greatest predictor of success (outdistancing IQ and job experience) in every occupation, every industry and every organizational level.
People with Emotional Intelligence are happier because they have: Realistic self-assessment Greater self-acceptance Larger support and friendship networks
Employees with Emotional Intelligence produce more effective organizations Employees
o Experience less stresso Work better with co-workers, customers and bosseso Perform better on teamso Take more responsibility for their behavior and work producto Are more willing to learn and grow
Leaderso Manager their job stress more effectivelyo Make better decisionso Work more productively with people at all levels in the organizationo Handle their authority constructivelyo Design more productive organizations
© 2005 Bogda & Associates
The Centers of IntelligenceThe Centers of Intelligence
Head (Mental) CenterUse: Planning, Insight, AnalysisMisuse: Over-analysis, Analysis-paralysis, ProjectionUnderlying Concern: Fear (Enneagram Styles 5, 6, and 7)
Body (Instinctual) CenterUse: Movement, Action, Gut-knowingMisuse: Over-action, Under-action, ExcessivenessUnderlying Concern: Anger, Control (Enneagram Styles 8, 9, and 1)
Heart (Emotional) CenterUse: Relationships, Compassion, AffectionMisuse: Oversensitivity, Hard-heartedness, Emotional ManipulationUnderlying Concern: Image, Sorrow (Enneagram Styles 2, 3, and 4)
©2005 Bogda & Associates
Head
Heart
Body
Enneagram SymbolEnneagram Symbol
©2005 Bogda & Associates
The 9 Enneagram StylesThe 9 Enneagram Styles
Ones seek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and everyone and everything around
them.
Sixes have insightful minds, are prone to worry, and create worst-case scenarios to
help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong.
Twos want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to
orchestrate the people and events in their lives.
Sevens crave the stimulation of new ideas, people, and experiences, create elaborate
future plans that will allow them to keep all of their options open, and avoid pain.
Threes organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear
successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others.
Eights pursue the truth, like to keep situations under control, want to make
important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability.
Fours desire deep connections both with their own interior worlds and with other people, and they feel most alive when they authentically express their
feelings.
Nines seek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard and dislike conflict, tension and
ill will.
Fives thirst for information and knowledge and use emotional
detachment as a way of keeping involvement with others to a
minimum.
© 2005 Bogda & Associates
Is everything under control inan effective and just way?
What is right or wrong, correct or incorrect?
Will others like me?Am I needed?
How can I gain the respect and esteem of others?
Can I express myself?Will I be rejected or feel deficient?
Will demands be made on me for my time, energy, and resources?
What could go wrong here? Whom can I trust? Am I
making the best decisions?
What is exciting?Do I feel constrained?
Can I avoid pain?
Is everyone being heard, including me?
Enneagram Style Focus of AttentionEnneagram Style Focus of Attention
©2005 Bogda & Associates
Heart Center:Concerned with image, importance, competition, relationships, feelings, empathy, ability to read between
the lines
Heart Center:Concerned with image, importance, competition, relationships, feelings, empathy, ability to read between
the linesTwos: create image of likeability, look to others for affirmation of self worth
Threes: work to project image of success, seeking respect and admiration of others for their accomplishments
Fours: create image of being special or unique using emotional sensitivity to defend against rejection
Twos: create image of likeability, look to others for affirmation of self worth
Threes: work to project image of success, seeking respect and admiration of others for their accomplishments
Fours: create image of being special or unique using emotional sensitivity to defend against rejection
Type ThreeHow can I gain the respect and esteem of
others?
Type ThreeHow can I gain the respect and esteem of
others?
Areas of Strength:Success orientedHigh energyRead audience wellOvercome problemsOptimisticEntrepreneurialConfidentAccomplish results
Areas of Strength:Success orientedHigh energyRead audience wellOvercome problemsOptimisticEntrepreneurialConfidentAccomplish results
Areas for Development:Overly competitiveNot always forthcomingAbruptHide deep level feelingsBecome overextendedLimited time for personal
relationshipsImpatient with others’ feelingsBelieve image is true self
Areas for Development:Overly competitiveNot always forthcomingAbruptHide deep level feelingsBecome overextendedLimited time for personal
relationshipsImpatient with others’ feelingsBelieve image is true self
Type TwoWhere attention goes:
Am I needed? Will others like me?
Type TwoWhere attention goes:
Am I needed? Will others like me?Areas of strength:EmpathicSupportive and
generousOptimisticLikeableResponsible/
hardworkingInsight into others’
needsMotivate othersPractical
Areas of strength:EmpathicSupportive and
generousOptimisticLikeableResponsible/
hardworkingInsight into others’
needsMotivate othersPractical
Areas for developmentAccommodatingIndirectDifficulty saying “no”Angry when unappreciatedUnaware of own needsOveremphasize relationshipOverextend/do for othersEnraged when others
mistreated
Areas for developmentAccommodatingIndirectDifficulty saying “no”Angry when unappreciatedUnaware of own needsOveremphasize relationshipOverextend/do for othersEnraged when others
mistreated
Type FourWill I be rejected or feel deficient?
Can I express myself?
Type FourWill I be rejected or feel deficient?
Can I express myself?
Areas of StrengthSeeking meaning
through interpersonal connection
InspiringCreativeIntrospectiveExpressiveIntuitiveCompassionateSearch for excellence
Areas of StrengthSeeking meaning
through interpersonal connection
InspiringCreativeIntrospectiveExpressiveIntuitiveCompassionateSearch for excellence
Areas for Development
Intense Self consciousMoodyEasily boredGuilt riddenDifficulty accepting
criticismAloofDeeply critical of others
Areas for Development
Intense Self consciousMoodyEasily boredGuilt riddenDifficulty accepting
criticismAloofDeeply critical of others
Head CenterFive, Six, SevenHead CenterFive, Six, Seven
Concerned with inquiry, doubt, information, knowledge, ideas, concepts, imagination,
visualizationFives: withdraw, retreat into mindsSixes: anticipate negative scenarios, plan
alternatives to circumvent what could go wrong
Sevens: run from worry very quickly into planning for interesting, pleasurable opportunities, perspectives
Concerned with inquiry, doubt, information, knowledge, ideas, concepts, imagination,
visualizationFives: withdraw, retreat into mindsSixes: anticipate negative scenarios, plan
alternatives to circumvent what could go wrong
Sevens: run from worry very quickly into planning for interesting, pleasurable opportunities, perspectives
Type SixWhat could go wrong here?
Whom can I trust?
Type SixWhat could go wrong here?
Whom can I trust?Areas of strengthLoyalResponsiblePracticalCollaborativeStrategicSharp intellectPerseveringAnticipate problems
Areas of strengthLoyalResponsiblePracticalCollaborativeStrategicSharp intellectPerseveringAnticipate problems
Areas for development:
WaryWorryingOverly compliant/overly
defiantDislike ambiguityAnalysis paralysisProject one’s thoughts
onto othersDefensiveMartyring
Areas for development:
WaryWorryingOverly compliant/overly
defiantDislike ambiguityAnalysis paralysisProject one’s thoughts
onto othersDefensiveMartyring
Type Five:Will demands be made on me for my
time, energy and resources?
Type Five:Will demands be made on me for my
time, energy and resources?
Areas of Strength:AnalyticInsightfulObjective SystematicThorough planningExcellence in crisesPersistentExpert
Areas of Strength:AnalyticInsightfulObjective SystematicThorough planningExcellence in crisesPersistentExpert
Areas for development:
DetachedAloofOverly independentUnassertiveUnderemphasize
relationshipsDon’t share informationStubbornCritical of others
Areas for development:
DetachedAloofOverly independentUnassertiveUnderemphasize
relationshipsDon’t share informationStubbornCritical of others
Type SevenWhat is interesting? Do I feel
constrained? Can I avoid pain/boredom?
Type SevenWhat is interesting? Do I feel
constrained? Can I avoid pain/boredom?
Areas of StrengthImaginative/creativeEnthusiasticCurious EngagingMultitaskingUpbeatQuick, synthetic thinkerConnect disparate data
Areas of StrengthImaginative/creativeEnthusiasticCurious EngagingMultitaskingUpbeatQuick, synthetic thinkerConnect disparate data
Areas for development
ImpulsiveUnfocusedRebelliousAvoid painful situationsInconsistent empathyReactive to negative
feedbackRationalize negative
experienceDislike routine
Areas for development
ImpulsiveUnfocusedRebelliousAvoid painful situationsInconsistent empathyReactive to negative
feedbackRationalize negative
experienceDislike routine
Body Center:Concerned with physical survival, justice and control, strength and
weakness, physical space, structure, action
Body Center:Concerned with physical survival, justice and control, strength and
weakness, physical space, structure, action
Ones: Anger, though deep often manifests a frequent irritation followed by flares of resentment. Tend toward self criticism which is anger turned inward
Eights: express anger frequently and directly. Begins in gut, moves up and out—stimulated by various events such as injustice done to someone, weakness in others, someone lying
Nines: anger “gone to sleep” lies deep below surface. Activated when Nine feels ignored or forced to do something in which anger may turn to passive aggressive behavior. Avoid direct anger and conflict.
Ones: Anger, though deep often manifests a frequent irritation followed by flares of resentment. Tend toward self criticism which is anger turned inward
Eights: express anger frequently and directly. Begins in gut, moves up and out—stimulated by various events such as injustice done to someone, weakness in others, someone lying
Nines: anger “gone to sleep” lies deep below surface. Activated when Nine feels ignored or forced to do something in which anger may turn to passive aggressive behavior. Avoid direct anger and conflict.
Type Nine:Is everyone being heard, including
me?
Type Nine:Is everyone being heard, including
me?Areas of strengthDiplomaticAssimilate big picture
through attention operational details
EasygoingConsistentInclusive/collaborativePatientSupportive of othersDevelop lasting
relationships
Areas of strengthDiplomaticAssimilate big picture
through attention operational details
EasygoingConsistentInclusive/collaborativePatientSupportive of othersDevelop lasting
relationships
Areas for development
Avoid conflictUnassertiveForget prioritiesProcrastinatePassive aggressive
when pushedIndecisiveUncertainLow energy
Areas for development
Avoid conflictUnassertiveForget prioritiesProcrastinatePassive aggressive
when pushedIndecisiveUncertainLow energy
Type Eight:Is everything under control in a fair,
just way?
Type Eight:Is everything under control in a fair,
just way?Areas of StrengthDirectSelf
confident/authoritative
Highly strategicOvercome obstaclesEnergeticProtective of othersMove project forwardSupport others’ success
Areas of StrengthDirectSelf
confident/authoritative
Highly strategicOvercome obstaclesEnergeticProtective of othersMove project forwardSupport others’ success
Areas of Development
ControllingDemandingHigh expectations of
self and othersImpatientAgitated with slow paceFeel used when others
don’t perform as expected
Disdain weakness
Areas of Development
ControllingDemandingHigh expectations of
self and othersImpatientAgitated with slow paceFeel used when others
don’t perform as expected
Disdain weakness
Type OneWhat is right/wrong, correct/incorrect?
Type OneWhat is right/wrong, correct/incorrect?
Areas of StrengthLead by exampleStrive for equalityPursue perfectionOrganizedConsistentPerceptiveHonestPractical
Areas of StrengthLead by exampleStrive for equalityPursue perfectionOrganizedConsistentPerceptiveHonestPractical
Areas for Development
ReactiveOverly criticalDefend when criticizedUnaware of one’s own
angerDetail focusedControllingOpinionatedImpatient
Areas for Development
ReactiveOverly criticalDefend when criticizedUnaware of one’s own
angerDetail focusedControllingOpinionatedImpatient
Enneagram and CommunicationEnneagram and Communication
Communication pitfalls
Communication pitfalls
Talking too much Using jargon Missing opportunities for empathic
connection Projection Fail to elicit patient values, concerns,
goals Make promises you can’t keep
Talking too much Using jargon Missing opportunities for empathic
connection Projection Fail to elicit patient values, concerns,
goals Make promises you can’t keep
Sender DistortionsSender DistortionsBody language—posture, facial
expression, hand gestures, body movements, energy levels, many more
Speaking style—pattern by which we talk, what do we talk about
Blind spots—unconscious and unintentional information we convey to other people that is visible to them but not to us
Body language—posture, facial expression, hand gestures, body movements, energy levels, many more
Speaking style—pattern by which we talk, what do we talk about
Blind spots—unconscious and unintentional information we convey to other people that is visible to them but not to us
Receiver DistortionsReceiver Distortions
Distorting filters—unconscious mental models or assumptions that alter what we hear others say
Distorting filters—unconscious mental models or assumptions that alter what we hear others say
Blind Spot ExerciseBlind Spot Exercise
Sender Receiver Communication Model
Sender Receiver Communication Model
Practices for Receptive Listening
Practices for Receptive Listening
Awareness of your filtersOne distortion at a timeWhen you notice you are
not receptively listening, take a deep breath and bring your attention back to speaker
Awareness of your filtersOne distortion at a timeWhen you notice you are
not receptively listening, take a deep breath and bring your attention back to speaker
Practices for Effective Speaking
Practices for Effective Speaking
Awareness of your filter Choose one distortion at a time Be compassionate with yourself Work with a coach who will give
you honest feedback Solicit feedback from someone
you trust and respect Presence
Awareness of your filter Choose one distortion at a time Be compassionate with yourself Work with a coach who will give
you honest feedback Solicit feedback from someone
you trust and respect Presence
Website: www.lesliehershberger.com
E-mail: [email protected]
Cell: 513-543-7720
Website: www.lesliehershberger.com
E-mail: [email protected]
Cell: 513-543-7720
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