-
Act One
A number of senators are gathered in the imperial palace.
Nervous. Theyve obviously been there for a while. Typical
politicians -- they are self-interested and speak in cliches.
OCTAVIUS Still nothing.
THE OLD SENATOR Nothing last night, nothing this morning.
LUCIUS Nothing for three days.
THE OLD SENATOR Messages go out, messages come in. And always
the same answer -- "Nothing."
LUCIUS Weve combed the whole countryside. Theres nothing more to
be done.
OCTAVIUS Except wait. There's no point rushing to meet trouble
halfway. Perhaps he'll return as abruptly as he left.
THE OLD SENATOR I saw him leave the palace. He had a strange
look about him. OCTAVIUS So did I. In fact, I asked him if anything
was wrong.
LUCIUS Did he answer?
OCTAVIUS One word -- "Nothing."
A short silence. Helicon (a liberated slave) enters. He is
eating.
CASSIUS (nervously) It's all very disturbing.
OCTAVIUS Come on now! Someone his age always takes it hard.
THE OLD SENATOR True, but everything works out in the long run.
For one girl dead, theres a dozen living ones. The woods are full
of trees and the trees are full of birds.
HELICON Where did you get the idea that love has anything to do
with it?
OCTAVIUS What else could it be?
HELICON Indigestion, perhaps. Or pure disgust at having to see
you lot every day. If you could change your looks from time to
time, he might find it easier to put up with all of you. But the
menu never changes -- always the same old choice between sour
rhubarb and stewed prunes.
OLD SENATOR I prefer to think it all started with love.
HELICON Because thats a sickness which spares no one, whether he
be intelligent or an idiot.
OCTAVIUS Fortunately grief doesnt last forever. Are you capable
of suffering for more than a year?
LUCIUS Not me.
OCTAVIUS No one could.
CASSIUS Life would he intolerable.
OCTAVIUS I lost my wife last year and at first I was in quite a
state. Even now I feel a pang of grief at times. Still, life must
go on.
THE OLD SENATOR Time heals all wounds. Nature has a way of
arranging things. (a senator wheezes)
-
HELICON (Patting him on the back) Sometimes wonder if Nature is
always so perfect.
Cherea (younger than the other senators, but a respected
intellectual) enters.
CHEREA Well. . . ?
OCTAVIUS Nothing.
HELICON (sarcastically) Be calm Cherea, be calm. Lets keep up
appearances. We, after all, are the Roman Empire.
OCTAVIUS I agree.
HELICON Worrying won't mend matters - and it's lunchtime.
CHEREA Everything was going too smoothly. This emperor was just
too perfect.
LUCIUS He was just what we wanted: conscientious and
inexperienced enough to take our advice.
OCTAVIUS He may go right on being the emperor weve known. He
loved Drusilla but she was his sister after all. Sleeping with her
was one thing. Still, to put all Rome in a turmoil because the girl
has died is going too far. Lets hope his condition is only
temporary.
CHEREA I dont like the look of it. His running away looks bad to
me.
THE OLD SENATOR Yes, where there's smoke theres fire.
OCTAVIUS The interests of the State should prevent him from
letting incest take on tragic proportions. These things happen, but
quietly.
HELICON Incest always makes a little noise. The bed squeaks.
Still, you cant be sure that Drusilla is the cause of all this
trouble.
Scipio (younger than Caligula, one of his proteges) enters.
Cherea goes toward him.
SCIPIO Still nothing. Some peasants think they saw him last
night not far from Rome, but there was heavy rain. (Scipio follows
Cherea back to the senators)
CHEREA Has it really been three days, Scipio?
SCIPIO Yes . . . I was there, following along with him. He went
up to Drusilla's body. Stroked it with two fingers, and seemed lost
in thought for a long while. Then he turned around and calmly
walked out. Since then everyones been searching for him.
CHEREA He was too fond of bad poetry.
LUCIUS Thats typical ...
CHEREA Of his age, perhaps, but not of his rank. An emperor with
artistic and intellectual inclinations is a contradiction in
terms.
LUCIUS We've had one or two, of course. But theres misfits in
every family. The others had the sense to remain good
bureaucrats.
OCTAVIUS Things ran efficiently.
THE OLD SENATOR Shoemaker stick to your trade.
-
SCIPIO What can we do, Cherea?
CHEREA Nothing.
LUCIUS We can only wait. If he doesn't come back well find
someone else. Theres no lack of leadership in this room.
(Helicon looks at Lucius and smirks maybe a discreet
gesture)
CHEREA Suppose he comes back with the wrong attitude?
OCTAVIUS He's still a boy; we'll make him listen to reason.
OCTAVIUS (laughing) And if not, I once wrote a treatise on the
coup detat.
CHEREA Perhaps I'll look that up. But I'd much prefer to be left
to my own books.
SCIPIO I beg your pardon ... (Goes out.)
CHEREA We must have offended him.
THE OLD SENATOR Young people always stick up for each other.
HELICON Scipio is much too easily offended -- (Scipio returns
abruptly)
SCIPIO Caligula has just been seen in the gardens
All leave the room. The stage is empty for a moment. Then
Caligula enters stealthily. His legs are caked with mud, his
clothes dirty; his hair is wet, his look distraught. He brings his
hand to his mouth several times. Then he approaches a mirror,
stopping abruptly when he catches sight of his reflected self.
After muttering some unintelligible words, he sits, letting his
arms hang limp between his knees. Helicon enters. On seeing
Caligula, he stops and contemplates him in silence. Caligula turns
and sees him. A short silence.
HELICON (across the stage) Good morning, Caius.
CALIGULA (in quite an ordinary tone) Good morning, Helicon. (a
short silence)
HELICON You seem tired.
CALIGULA I've walked a lot.
HELICON Yes, you were away for quite a while. (another short
silence)
CALIGULA It was hard to find.
HELICON What was?
CALIGULA What I wanted.
HELICON And what did you want?
CALIGULA (in the same matter-of-fact tone) The moon.
HELICON What?
CALIGULA I wanted the moon.
HELICON I see . . . (Another silence. Helicon approaches
Caligula.) What for?
-
CALIGULA Well . . . it's one of the things I haven't got.
HELICON Right. And now everything is taken care of?
CALIGULA No. I couldn't get it.
HELICON Too bad.
CALIGULA Yes, that's why I'm tired. (Pauses. Then) You probably
think I'm insane
HELICON You know I never think. Im much too intelligent for
that.
CALIGULA ... But I'm not insane. In fact I've never been so
lucid. Its just that I suddenly felt a desire for the impossible.
(Pauses.) Things as they are dont strike me as satisfactory.
HELICON Thats a widespread opinion.
CALIGULA I suppose it is. But I didn't know it before. Now I
know. (Still in the same matter-of-fact tone.) The world as it is
is unbearable. That's why I need the moon, or happiness, or
immortality, or something that may sound insane, but would help
correct this world.
HELICON That sounds fine. But no one could ever act on it.
CALIGULA (rising to his feet, but still with perfect calmness)
You know nothing about it. It's because no one dares to be logical
and carry it through to its conclusion that nothing is ever
achieved. (He studies Helicon's face.) I can see what you're
thinking. What a fuss over the death of a woman! No, that's not it.
I do recall that a few days ago a woman I loved died. But love is a
side issue. Her death is no more than the symbol of a truth that
makes the moon necessary to me. A childishly simple and obvious
truth, a little stupid even, but hard to discover and harder to
bear.
HELICON And what is this truth you've discovered, Caius?
CALIGULA (his eyes averted, in a toneless voice) People die. And
they are not happy.
HELICON (after a short pause) Thats a truth we manage to live
with Caligula. It doesn't prevent most Romans from enjoying their
lunch.
CALIGULA (suddenly throws Helicon down violently) Thats because
everyone around me is living a lie, and I want people to live with
the truth. Remember, Helicon, I have the means of forcing them to
live with the truth. They are deprived of knowledge and need a
teacher who knows what he's talking about.
HELICON Don't take offense, Caius ... but shouldnt you have some
rest. Everything else can wait.
CALIGULA (Sitting down. His voice is gentle again.) I cant rest,
Helicon.
HELICON Why not?
CALIGULA If I sleep, who will give me the moon?
HELICON (after a short silence) That's true.
CALIGULA (hearing voices he rises again with an effort) Dont say
a word Helicon and forget you've seen me.
HELICON I understand.
CALICULA (looking back, as he moves toward the door) And, could
you help me from now on.
-
HELICON I've no reason not to do so, Caius. But I know very few
things, and few things interest me. In what way can I help you?
CALIGULA In achieving the impossible.
Caligula goes out. Scipio and Caesonia (Caligulas beautiful
courtesan) enter.
SCIPIO Have you seen him, Helicon?
HELICON No.
CAESONIA Tell me, Helicon. Are you sure he didn't confide
anything to you before he went away?
HELICON I dont share his secrets. I'm merely his public. But, if
you'll excuse me, I'm late for lunch. (Exit Helicon.)
CAESONIA (sits wearily) One of the guards saw him go by. But all
Rome sees Caligula everywhere, while Caligula sees nothing but his
own idea.
SCIPIO What idea?
CAESONIA How can I tell, Scipio?
SCIPIO Drusilla?
CAESONIA Perhaps. He did love her. And it's a cruel thing to see
someone die today when you held her in your arms only
yesterday.
SCIPIO (timidly) And you . . . ?
CAESONIA Oh, I'm the trusted mistress. That's my role.
SCIPIO Caesonia, we have to help him.
CAESONIA You love him too?
SCIPIO I dont know what it is. He encourages me with words that
would sound ridiculous coming out of anyone elses mouth. "Life
isn't easy, Scipio, but art or the love one inspires in others is
all the consolation we need." He once told me that making others
suffer was the only human crime. Ironic, isnt it? An emperor trying
to be a just man.
CAESONIA (rising) He's just a child. (She goes to the mirror and
scans herself.) My body is the only god I've ever known, and now I
pray to this god of mine that Caius may be brought back to me.
Caligula enters. On seeing Caesonia and Scipio he hesitates, and
takes a backward step. At the same moment several men enter from
the opposite side of the room: senators and the Intendant of the
palace. They stop short when they see Caligula. Caesonia turns. She
and Scipio hurry toward Caligula, who checks them with a
gesture.
INTENDANT (in a rather quavering voice) We . . . we've been
looking for
you, Caesar, everywhere.
CALIGULA (in a changed, harsh tone) So I see.
INTENDANT We . . . I mean
CALIGULA (roughly) What do you want?
-
INTENDANT We were worried, Caesar.
CALIGULA (going toward him) Why were you worried?
INTENDANT Well . . er . . . (He has an inspiration.) Well, its
the Treasury Board -- as you know, there are points that must be
settled in connection with the new budget.
CALIGULA (bursting into laughter) Ah, yes. The Treasury. That's
right. The Treasury's of prime importance.
INTENDANT Yes.
CALIGULA (still laughing, to Caesonia) Don't you agree, my
dear?
CAESONIA No, Caligula. The budget is just a means to an end.
CALIGULA That just shows your ignorance! Of course, I do believe
in equality! (To the bewildered intendant) Surely your attacks of
arthritis are no less significant than the grandeur of Rome. (Not
letting anyone get in a word edgeways) Still, Im extremely
interested in fiscal integrity ... . Yes, thats something I can
apply my mind to right away. And, to begin with . . . Now listen
well, Intendant.
INTENDANT We are listening, sir.
The senators come forward.
CALIGULA You're our loyal subjects, are you not?
INTENDANT (in a reproachful tone) Oh, Caesar.
CALIGULA Well, Ive just devised a strategic plan. We're going to
reform our whole economic system. In two moves. Drastic and abrupt.
Ill have to explain ... in private. (All patricians but the
intendant leave. Caligula collects himself and then assumes a
statesman-like pose with his arm around Caesonias waist. Then, full
of efficient energy) First phase: Every senator. Everyone in the
Empire who has any capital, small or large it's all the same thing,
is ordered to disinherit his children and make a new will leaving
his money to the State.
INTENDANT But Caesar.
CALIGULA I'm not finished! Second phase: As the need arises, we
shall announce the death of those individuals, following the order
of a list drawn up arbitrarily. On occasion we may modify that
order. Again, arbitrarily. (an insight) By lottery perhaps. And the
Treasury shall inherit their money.
CAESONIA (freeing herself) What's come over you?
CALIGULA (imperturbably Of course the order of the executions is
not of the slightest importance. (precisely) Or, rather, all these
executions have an equal importance; from which it follows that
none has any importance. Indeed, if you think about it, it is no
more immoral to rob citizens directly, than to slip indirect taxes
into the prices of the commodities they cannot do without.
Governing amounts to robbing, as everyone knows. But there are
different ways of going about it. As for me, I shall rob openly.
That will be a change from you penny pinching politicians. (harshly
to the Intendant, who has been trying to speak) This new economic
policy will be proclaimed immediately and you are to ensure it's
carried out. The wills are to be signed by residents in the capital
this evening; within a month at the latest by persons in the
provinces. Now, you dont have time to waste.
INTENDANT Caesar, you dont seem to realize . . .
CALIGULA Listen carefully, idiot. If a balanced budget has
paramount importance, human life has none. That is self-evident.
You of all people should admit the logic of my plan. Since money is
the only thing that counts, you must cease to set any value on your
life. I have resolved to be logical, and inasmuch as I have the
-
power, you will see what logic will cost you! I shall eliminate
contradictions and contradictors. If necessary, I'll begin with
you.
INTENDANT Caesar, my good will can be relied on, that I
swear.
CALIGULA And I can guarantee mine too. Just see how ready I am
to adopt your point of view, and consider the Treasury as an object
of capital importance. You should be grateful to me for playing
your game and with your own cards. (He pauses, before continuing in
a flat, unemotional tone.) In any case, there is a touch of genius
-- or should I say, common-sense -- in the simplicity of my plan,
which clinches the matter. I give you three seconds in which to
make yourself invisible. One...
INTENDANT But --
CALIGULA Two ... (the Indendant hurries out.)
CAESONIA Is this really you, Caligula? Was that supposed to be
some kind of a joke?
CALIGULA Not exactly, Caesonia. Let's say it was a seminar in
public administration.
SCIPIO But this isnt possible Caligula.
CALIGULA That's the point!
SCIPIO What do you mean?
CALIGULA I mean, Im concerned with the impossible, or rather
with making possible the impossible.
SCIPIO Thats nothing more than the pastime of a lunatic.
CALIGULA No, Scipio. Its the vocation of an emperor. (He lets
himself sit down, wearily) I've finally understood the uses of
power. It gives the impossible a chance. From now on my freedom
will not be limited by convention.
CAESONIA (sadly) I doubt if this discovery of yours will make us
any happier.
CALIGULA Perhaps not. But it might make us more profound.
(Cherea enters.)
CHEREA Ive just heard of your return. I trust your health is all
it should be. CALIGULA My health thanks you. (A pause. Then,
abruptly)Now, go away Cherea. I don't want to see you.
CHEREA Im bewildered Caius.
CALIGULA Dont be. I dont like intellectuals. They talk in order
not to hear themselves. If they listened to themselves, they would
know that they are nothing and then they couldnt talk. Therefore,
Im dismissing you. I hate liars.
CHEREA If we lie, it's often without knowing it. I plead not
guilty.
CALIGULA Lying is always guilty. And your kind of deception is
unforgiveable. It gives people a pumped-up sense of importance.
CHEREA Since this world is the only one we have, why not plead
its cause?
CALIGULA No plea is necessary. The verdict's given: humanity has
no special place in this world and whoever realizes that wins his
freedom. (rising) You are not free. I alone am free. Rejoice, for
you finally have an emperor to teach you freedom. Go away, Cherea,
and you, too, Scipio. Go and spread the good news to all
Romans.
They go out. Caligula has turned away, hiding his eyes.
-
CAESONIA Youre crying. But what's really changed in your life?
You may have loved Drusilla, but you loved others, myself included,
at the same time. Surely that wasn't enough to set you roaming the
countryside for three days and nights and bring you back with this
. . . this cruel look on your face?
CALIGULA (turning round to her) Why drag Drusilla into this?
Cant you imagine a person shedding for anything other than
love?
CAESONIA I'm sorry, Caius. I was only trying to understand.
CALIGULA Men cry because the world's all wrong. (She starts to
embrace him.) No, Caesonia. (She draws back.) But stay beside
me.
CAESONIA Whatever you want. (Sits down.) Im no baby. I know that
life's sometimes a sad business. But why deliberately set out to
make it worse?
CALIGULA You can't understand. But that doesnt matter. Perhaps
I'll find a way out. Only I feel the stirrings of nameless
creatures within me, forcing their way up into the light - and I'm
helpless against them. (He moves closer to her, but doesnt see her)
I knew people felt anguish, but I didn't know what the word meant.
Like everyone else I imagined it was the soul that suffered. But
it's my body that's in pain. Everywhere. In my chest, in my legs
and arms. Even my skin is raw, my head is buzzing, I feel like
vomiting. But worst of all is this grotesque taste in my mouth. Not
blood, nor death, nor fever, but a mixture of all three. All I have
to do is to stir my tongue for everything to become black and for
human beings to revolt me.
CAESONIA What you need is a good, long sleep. And stop thinking.
Our thoughts run crazy when were exhausted. I'll lie with you. When
you wake, you'll find the world's got back its flavor. Then you
must use your power for loving better what there is still to love.
For the possible, too, deserves to be given a chance.
CALIGULA What use is my power, Caesonia, if I can't have the sun
set in the east, if I can't eliminate suffering and keep human
beings from dying? If I cant change the order of the world, it
doesnt matter whether I sleep or stay awake.
CAESONIA (sharply, impatiently) But that's insanity. It's
wanting to be a god on earth, and no matter how those flabby
politicians represent you to the masses thats impossible.
CALIGULA So I'm mad to want a kingdom where the impossible
rules?
CAESONIA (pressing, almost cutting him off) You can't prevent
the sky from being the sky, or a fresh young face from aging, or a
man's heart from growing cold.
CALIGULA (with rising excitement) I want . . . I want to drown
the sky in the sea, to see the beauty in ugliness, to wring a laugh
from pain.
CAESONIA (facing him with an imploring gesture) There's good and
evil, high and low, justice and injustice. I can assure you that
will never change.
CALIGULA (in the same tone) Its my will to change that. I shall
give this age the gift of equality. And when everything is leveled
out, when the impossible has come to earth and the moon is in my
hands -- then, perhaps, the world will be truly transformed, then
perhaps there will be no more death and men will be happy.
CAESONIA (with a cry) And what about love? Youll level that out
too?
CALIGULA Living, Caesonia, is the opposite of loving! (He grips
her shoulders and shakes her.) I've learned the truth about life --
and now I invite you to the most gorgeous of shows, a sight for
gods to gloat on, a whole world put on trial. But for that I must
have a crowd -- spectators, victims, criminals, hundreds and
thousands of them. (He rushes to the gong and hammers it once) Let
the accused come forward. I want my criminals, and they all are
criminals. (Strikes the gong again) Bring in the condemned men. I
must have my public. Judges, witnesses, accused -- all sentenced to
death without a hearing. Yes, Caesonia, I'll show them something
they have never seen before, the one free man in the Roman Empire.
(To the clangor of the gong the palace has been gradually filling
with approaching people. Caligula poses with Caesonia on the
floor
-
beneath him) And you, Caesonia, shall obey me. You must stand by
me to the end. It will be marvelous, you'll see. Swear to stand by
me, Caesonia.
CAESONIA I needn't swear. You know I love you.
CALIGULA You'll do everything I tell you.
CAESONIA Everything, anything Caligula -- but please, stop.
CALIGULA You will be cruel.
CAESONIA (sobbing) Cruel.
CALIGULA Cold and ruthless.
CAESONIA Ruthless.
CALIGULA And you will suffer, too.
CAESONIA Yes, yes ... no, please, . . . I'm going as mad you!
(Some senators enter, followed by members of the palace staff. All
look bewildered and perturbed. Caligula bangs the gong for the last
time, raises his mallet, swings round and summons them in a shrill,
half-crazy voice.)
CALIGULA Come here. All of you. Nearer. Nearer still. (He is
quivering with impatience.) Your Emperor commands you to come
nearer.(They come forward, pale with terror.) Quickly. And you,
Caesonia, come beside me. (He takes her hand, leads her to the
mirror, and with a sudden wild sweep of his mallet smashes the
mirror. Everyone recoils. The whole set is covered with reflected
images of the cracked mirror. Caligula laughs) All gone. You see,
my dear? An end of memories; no more masks. Nothing, nobody left.
Nobody? No, that's not true. Look, Caesonia. Come here, all of you,
and look. (He plants himself in front of the mirror and takes the
pose of a crazy man.)
CAESONIA (staring, horrified, at the mirror) Caligula!
CALIGULA (His gaze steadies abruptly and then turns slowly to
the crowd/audience. They are as shocked as Caesonia. When he speaks
his voice has a new, proud ardor.)
CALIGULA Yes . . . Caligula.
ACT TWO
Three years later. A room in Cherea's house, where the senators
have met in secret.
OCTAVIUS He insults our dignity.
THE OLD SENATOR Death's too good for someone who calls me
"darling" in public!
OCTAVIUS Every evening we have to jog behind his carriage when
he goes out into the country.
LUCIUS The exercise will do us good, he says.
THE OLD SENATOR Theres no excuse for it.
CASSIUS No, he cant be forgiven.
OCTAVIUS He confiscated your property, Patricius. He killed your
father, Scipio. He's taken your wife from you, Lucius, and forced
her to work in his new public brothel. Cassius, he killed your son.
I dont know about you but Ive made my choice. Between the risk we
have to take and this unbearable life in helpless fear, I cannot
hesitate. Can you still hesitate?
-
CASSIUS We're with you! He gives away our private boxes at the
stadium to the rabble and eggs us on to fight with them -- just to
have a pretext for punishing us later.
THE OLD SENATOR He's a coward.
LUCIUS A bully.
CASSIUS A buffoon.
THE OLD SENATOR He's impotent -- I say that's his trouble.
Confusion follows as there is a general rush to exclaim
indignation and the necessity to act. Cherea strolls in, composed
as usual.
CHEREA How energetic youve all become. Do you think the palace
will welcome such an unruly mob. I assume thats your next stop.
OCTAVIUS We dont plan to ask permission to enter.
CHEREA May I have permission to sit down in my own house?
(Cherea moves toward a seat studying the others) It's not so simple
as you think, my friends. This is all too premature.
CASSIUS If you're not with us, leave us, but keep your mouth
shut.
CHEREA Oh I think I'm with you, but not for the same
reasons.
CASSIUS Weve talked enough!
CHEREA (standing up) Maybe, but youre rushing to your
destruction because you haven't recognized the nature of your true
enemy.
CASSIUS We see him for what he is, all right -- a crazy
tyrant.
CHEREA No. We've had experience of mad emperors. But this one
isn't mad enough. He knows exactly what he wants.
OCTAVIUS He wants the death of every one of us.
CHEREA Thats just secondary. Caligula is frightening because
he's putting his power at the service of a deadlier passion. Losing
my life is no small matter, but seeing it drained of meaning --
that is unbearable! No one can live without justification.
OCTAVIUS Revenge is justification.
CHEREA Yes, and Ill share it with you. But I've got no interest
in avenging your petty humiliations. I intend to fight against an
ideal. Caligula is converting his philosophy into corpses and,
unfortunately for us, it is an irrefutable philosophy. Where one
cannot refute, one must strike.
CASSIUS Act now, then!
CHEREA Fine, we must act. But an imperial madman at the height
of his power cannot be attacked head-on. Use a little of his own
cunning.Encourage his dispassionate evil and bide your time until
its logic founders in sheer lunacy. Im being quite honest with you.
Afterwards, I wont serve any of your interests. What spurs me on is
not ambition but the fear of an inhuman dream in which my life any
life counts as nothing.
OCTAVIUS (approaching him) I think I have more or less grasped
your point. But the important thing is that you, too, feel that the
whole fabric of our society is threatened. For me -- and I think
you will all agree --
-
it is first of all a question of right and wrong. Family life is
breaking down, respect for honest work is lost. Can we refuse to
hear the appeal of traditional values in this hour of danger?
ALL No!
OCTAVIUS Will you tolerate a state of things in which we are
forced to run, like slaves, beside Caligulas carriage?
ALL No!
THE OLD SENATOR Are you willing to be addressed as
"darling"?
LUCIUS And have your wives snatched away?
CASSIUS Your money too?
ALL TOGETHER No! (Mereias "No" ends in an asthmatic wheeze and
nearly collapses)
OCTAVIUS Cherea, youve given us good advice. We should calm down
and take care not to act precipitously. The masses would still be
against us. Lets track public opinion. But when the time is ripe,
Cherea, will you join hands with us, and strike hard?
CHEREA (Slowly shakes his head, yes) In the meantime, though,
let Caligula follow his dream. We must even encourage his wildest
plans. Help organize his madness. Then one day, he will stand alone
facing an Empire peopled only by the dead and relatives of the
dead.
OCTAVIUS Alright, gentlemen, we stand prepared!
A general uproar. Then silence, but for whispers of a name:
"Caligula!" Caligula enters with Caesonia, followed by Helicon and
some soldiers. Pantomime. Caligula halts and gazes at the
conspirators. Without a word he moves from one to the other,
straightens a buckle on one man's shoulder, steps back to
contemplate another, sweeps them with his gaze, then draws his hand
over his eyes and walks out, still without a word.
CAESONIA (Ironically, pointing to the disorder of the room) Were
you having a fight?
CHEREA Yes, we were fighting.
CAESONIA Really. Why were you fighting?
CHEREA No reason at all.
CAESONIA Then it isn't true.
CHEREA What isn't true?
CAESONIA You were not fighting.
CHEREA Have it your own way, then. We were not fighting.
CAESONIA (smiling) Perhaps you'd better tidy up the place.
Caligula hates disorder. HELICON You dont want to make him step out
of character.
THE OLD SENATOR But . . . I don't understand. What have we done
to him?
HELICON Nothing, and thats just it. Youre so incredibly
unimportant -- boring enough to get on anybody's nerves. Just put
yourselves in Caligula's place. (A short pause.) Of course, you
were doing a bit of plotting, weren't you?
THE OLD SENATOR That's too absurd. How could Caligula ever think
that?
-
HELICON He doesn't think that. He knows that. But then I suppose
thats what he really wants. Come on now, lets tidy up. (Caligula
enters and watches them)
CALIGULA (to the Old senator) Good morning, darling. (to the
others) Cherea, Ive decided to have a little lunch in your house.
Lucius, I allowed myself to invite your wife. (the servants who
came in with Caligula start to uncover the food). Just a moment!
Gentlemen, you are well aware that the finances of the State have
held up only out of habit and now habit itself has collapsed.
Consequently, I feel the unpleasant necessity of reducing my staff.
In a spirit of sacrifice that I am sure you will appreciate, I have
decided to cut my own expenses, to free several slaves, and to
assign you to my service. Please set the table and serve it. (The
senators look uneasily at each other) Come on, put your minds to
it! Public administrators should be able to develop an efficient
system. (To Helicon) It seems to me, theyre out of practice.
HELICON To tell the truth, they never were in practice, except
to give orders or complain about those they order about. Youll have
to patient, thats all. It takes a day to make an administrator and
ten years to make a skilled worker.
CALIGULA But Im afraid it will take twenty years to make a
skilled worker out of an administrator.
HELICON Nevertheless, theyre showing progress. If you ask me,
they have a talent for it. Slavery suits them. Look, they are even
beginning to sweat. Thats a step in the right direction.
CALIGULA Yes, theyre not so bad after all. However, we shall
have to hurry; I have an appointment at an execution. (The senators
freeze with fear). Rufius should thank his lucky stars that I've
been seized with hunger. (Confidentially) Rufius is the general who
is to die. (short pause) Doesnt anyone want to know why he is going
to die? (No one speaks.) Good for you! I see you're growing quite
intelligent. You have realized that it is not necessary for a human
being to have done anything in order to die. (He stops eating and
gazes at his guests with a twinkle in his eye.) My loyal troops, I
am proud of you. Dont you agree Helicon? (Looks at the guests
roguishly)
HELICON A formidable army indeed, Caius. But if you ask my
opinion, they are getting too intelligent to want to fight. If they
make any more progress, the Empire is lost!
CALIGULA Oh well, lets relax. Just sit anywhere. Mingle. Dont
pay any attention to rank today. (All are seated, music is playing.
Grotesquely forced party atmosphere) There's no denying that Rufius
is a lucky man. But I wonder if he appreciates this short reprieve.
Nothing is more precious than a few hours grace when death is
waiting. (He begins eating; the others follow suit. Caligula's
table manners are deplorable. Suddenly he stops and stares at one
of the guests) Cassius, you seem in a bad mood. Is it because I had
your son killed?
CASSIUS (with a lump in his throat) Not at all, Caius, quite the
contrary.
CALIGULA (beaming at him) "Quite the contrary!" It's always nice
to see a face that hides the secrets of the heart. Your face is
sad, but your heart? Quite the contrary, wouldnt you say,
Cassius?
CASSIUS(doggedly) Quite the contrary, Caesar.
CALIGULA (more and more enjoying the situation) Cassius, there's
no one I like better than you. Let us laugh together, shall we?
Tell me a funny story.
CASSIUS (who has overrated his endurance) Please ...
CALIGULA All right, all right. Ill tell you one then. But you
will laugh, wont you, Cassius? (with a glint of malice) If only for
the your second sons sake. (Smiling again.) Besides, you've just
said you're not in a bad mood. (He takes a drink, then says in the
tone of a teacher prompting a pupil.) Quite . . . quite the ...
CASSIUS (wearily) Quite the contrary, Caesar.
CALIGULA Im glad. (Drinks again.) Just listen, now. (In a
gentle, dreamy tone) Once upon a time there was a poor young
emperor whom no one loved. He, loving Cassius, had Cassius younger
son put to death to remove that love from his heart. (In a
different manner) Needless to say, thats not true. Still it's a
funny story, isnt it? But you're not laughing. No one is laughing?
Now listen! (in a burst of anger) I want everyone to laugh. (he
gives a horrible cackling laugh). My army of senators. Caligulas
advisory committee. CAC (he
-
bangs on a table, and in a travesty of laughter) Cac! Cac! Cac!
Cac! (no one moves) Stand up, every one of you and laugh. Cassius
will lead (He pounds the table violently.) Do -- what -- I -- say.
Cac! Cac! Cac! Cac!. (Cassius rises and painfully forces the
laughter until it verges on weeping. Caligula looks at Octavius who
rises and starts to laugh, then at Lucius, until all the senators
are on their feet executing a horrifying loud, mechanical travesty
of laughter. Caligula has jumped up on a table and conducts them,
like an orchestra leader, in a series of staccato laughs which rise
in intensity -- Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac! Cac! Cac! During
this scene all the players, Caligula and Caesonia excepted, behave
like marionettes in a puppet play. Suddenly, he stops them abruptly
with a conductors gesture and sinks back on his couch, with
Caesonia, beaming with delight, and bursts into a fit of natural
laughter.) Oh, Caesonia! Just look at them! Ive rolled the dice and
what do you see. Decency, respectability, regard for public
opinion, everything has ceased to have any meaning. The wind of
fear has blown them all away. What a noble emotion fear is,
Caesonia, pure and unalloyed and disinterested, one of the few to
derive its nobility from the guts. (In a friendly tone) Let's
change the subject. What do you have to say, Cherea? You've been
very silent.
CHEREA I'm quite ready to speak, Caius, as soon as you give me
permission.
CALIGULA Excellent. Keep quiet then. I'd rather hear from our
friend Lucius.
LUCIUS (reluctantly) As you wish, Caius.
CALIGULA Then tell us something about your lovely, young wife.
Send her over to me. (Lucius' wife clings to her husband, but
Caesonia takes her and leads her over to Caligula. All the while
looking at Lucius, he unbuttons the front of her dress with great
deliberation and thrusts his hand in.) Well, Lucius? Cats got your
tongue?.
LUCIUS (hardly knowing what he says) My wife . . . Why, I love
her.
Embarrassed laughter from the senators.
CALIGULA Of course, my friend, of course. But thats so ordinary.
(He is leaning toward her, tickling her shoulder playfully with his
tongue. She is white with fear.) By the way, when I came in just
now, you were plotting, weren't you? Indulging in a sleazy little
plot?
OLD SENATOR Caius, how can you . . . ?
CALIGULA Its not at all important, darling. Old age will have
its flings. I won't take it seriously. None of you are capable of a
courageous act. (Helicon whispers in his ear) It has just occurred
to me that I have a political decision of some importance to make.
But first, I must answer the overwhelming desires prompted by
nature.
Caligula crosses to leave but realizes that Luciuss wife remains
where she was. He motions to her with a little finger and stays
where he is. She looks to Lucius but he averts his eyes as Caesonia
again leads her over to Caligula. Lucius starts to move, but
Helicon moves his hand to his weapon and stops him.
CAESONIA (amiably making conversation) Oh, Lucius, please pour
me another glass of this excellent wine. (Lucius complies) Now,
Cherea, suppose you tell me why you were fighting a moment ago?
CHEREA (coolly) Our quarrel arose, Caesonia, from a discussion
about whether poetry is dead.
CAESONIA An interesting question. Its beyond my limited
intelligence, of course, but Im surprised that your passion for art
should lead you to blows.
CHEREA Indeed. But Caligula used to tell me that there is no
true passion without a touch of cruelty.
HELICON Nor any love without a touch of rape.
CAESONIA (eating) There's some truth in that. Don't you all
agree?
THE OLD SENATOR Yes. Caligula has rare pyschological
insight.
-
OCTAVIUS He spoke eloquently of courage.
CASSIUS He should write up his ideas. The book would be most
instructive.
CHEREA And, what's more, it would keep him busy, because its
obvious he needs distractions.
CAESONIA (still eating) You'll be delighted to hear that he
shares your views. At the moment he is working on a book. Quite a
big one, I believe.
Caligula enters, accompanied by Lucius' wife.
CALIGULA Lucius, I return your wife with many thanks. But youll
have to excuse me, I have such a busy schedule. (wearily) So many
orders to give.
He hurries out. Lucius has gone pale and risen to his feet.
CAESONIA (to Lucius, who is standing) Believe me Lucius, this
book will be the first of numerous classics. Are you listening,
Lucius?
LUCIUS (his eyes still fixed on the door by which Caligula went
out) Yes. And what's the book about, Caesonia?
CAESONIA (indifferently) Oh, it's beyond me.
CHEREA Then we must assume it deals with the deadly power of
poetry?
CAESONIA Thats just it, I think.
THE OLD SENATOR (cheerfully) Well, that will keep him busy, as
Cherea said.
CAESONIA Yes, darling. But I'm afraid you won't be too pleased
with the books title.
CHEREA What is it?
CAESONIA "The Axe Falls." (Caligula hurries in.)
CALIGULA Excuse me, but I've just made an executive decision (
To the Intendant) Intendant, you are to close the public granaries.
I have signed a decree to that effect; you will find it in my
study.
INTENDANT But, sir ...
CALIGULA Famine begins tomorrow.
INTENDANT But the masses will protest.
CALIGULA (firmly and sharply) I repeat -- the famine begins
tomorrow. Everybody knows famine. Its a national disaster. Well,
tomorrow the disaster begins. And I shall stop it when I feel like
it. After all, there are only so many ways of proving that Im free.
One is always free at someone else's expense. Absurd perhaps, but
thats just the way it is. (With a keen glance at Lucius) Apply this
principle to your jealousy and you'll understand better. (In a
meditative tone) Still, what an ugly thing is jealousy! A disease
of vanity and the imagination. To picture one's wife with her lips
wrapped . . . (Pause) Gentlemen, let's not forget our dinner. Did
you know that Helicon and I have been working hard at some
research? Were putting the finishing touches to an instructional
booklet on execution, which Im sure will interest you.
HELICON Assuming we ask your opinion.
CALIGULA We should be generous, Helicon, and consult with them.
Lets get their advice on section III, first paragraph.
-
HELICON (standing, declaims in a droning voice) "Execution
relieves and liberates. Capital punishment is a universal tonic,
and just, both in application and in theory. The individual is
guilty because he is a subject of Caligula. But everyone is a
subject of Caligula, hence everyone is guilty. Therefore it follows
that everyone dies. Its merely a matter of time and patience."
CALIGULA (laughing) Well, what do you think? That bit about
patience was a nice touch wasn't it? Allow me to tell you, that's
the quality I most admire in you. Now, you lot can leave. But you
stay, Caesonia. You too, Cassius and Octavius. Mereia too. I want
to have a little talk with you about the administration of our
National Brothel. I'm quite concerned about it. (The others file
out slowly.)
CHEREA What's the trouble, Caius? Is the staff inadequate?
CALIGULA No, but the profits are falling off.
MEREIA The prices will have to be raised.
CALIGULA Mereia, you have just missed a golden opportunity to
keep your mouth shut. You're too old to be interested in this
subject, and I don't want your opinion.
MEREIA Then why ask me to stay?
CALIGULA In a view moments I shall need some cool, dispassionate
advice. (Mereia moves away.)
CHEREA I may be speaking too passionately, Caius, but raising
the prices would certainly enhance the prestige of the Brothel.
CALIGULA Nonsense! What's needed is a bigger turnover. I've
explained my new initiative to Caesonia, and she will outline it
for you. I've had too much wine and Im beginning to feel sleepy.
(He lies down and closes his eyes.)
CAESONIA It's very simple. Caligula is creating a brand new
decoration. It will be called the Badge of Civic Merit and awarded
to those who have diligently patronized Caligula's National
Brothel.
CHEREA Thats brilliant!
CAESONIA I think so. Anyway, the badges will be awarded each
month after checking the admission tickets. Any citizen who has not
won a badge within twelve months will be exiled or executed.
CHEREA Why "or executed"?
CAESONIA Caligula says it doesn't matter which -- but it's
important he should retain the right to decide.
CHEREA Pure genius! The Treasury will wipe out its debt in no
time.
HELICON And note that everythings done in the most moral way.
After all, it is better to tax vice than to ransom virtue.
Caligula has half opened his eyes and is watching old Mereia
who, standing
in a corner, has produced a small flask and is sipping its
contents.
CALIGULA (still lying on the couch) What's that you're drinking,
Mereia?
MEREIA It's for my asthma, Caius.
CALIGULA (rises, and thrusting the others aside, goes up to
Mercia and sniffs his mouth) No, it's an antidote.
MEREIA Not at all, Caius! You must be joking. I have fits of
choking during the
-
night and I've been taking this doctor's prescription for
months.
CALIGULA So, you're afraid of being poisoned?
MEREIA My asthma --
CALIGULA Why beat about the bush? You're afraid I'll poison you.
You suspect me. You're keeping an eye on me.
MEREIA By heavens, no!
CALIGULA You suspect me. I'm not to be trusted, am I?
MEREIA Caius!
CALIGULA (harshly) Answer me! (In a cool, judicial tone) Since
you are taking an antidote, you obviously think I intend to poison
you.
MEREIA Yes . . . I mean . . . no!
CALIGULA And since you think that I have decided to poison you,
you are doing all you can to frustrate my plans to restructure
Rome. That makes two crimes, plus an alternative from which you
can't escape. Either I had no intention of causing your death, in
which case you are unjustly suspecting me, your emperor. Or else I
do desire your death, in which case, vermin that you are, you're
trying to thwart my will.(Pause. Caligula contemplates the old man
.) Well, Mereia, is my reasoning sound?
MEREIA Its water-tight, Caius. But it doesn't apply to the
case.
CALIGULA Ah, you take me for a fool. Defaming the character of
your emperor. Thats a third crime. Listen carefully. Of these three
crimes only one of them is a credit to you, the second one --
because the moment you attribute a decision to me and oppose it,
that implies revolt. You are therefore a leader of men, a
revolutionary. That is courageous. (sadly) I'm fond of you, Mereia.
Thats why you'll be condemned for crime number two, and not for
either of the others. You shall die like a man for having rebelled.
(While he talks Mereia is shrinking together on his chair.) Don't
thank me. Thats not necessary. Here. (Holds out a phial. His tone
is amiable.) Drink this poison.(Mereia shakes his head. He is
sobbing violently. Caligula shows signs of impatience.) Don't waste
time. Take it. (Mereia makes a feeble attempt to escape. But
Caligula with a wild leap is on him, catches him in the center of
the stage and after a brief struggle pins him down on a low couch.
He forces the phial between his lips and smashes it with a blow of
his fist. After some convulsive movements Mereia dies. His face is
streaming with blood and tears. Caligula rises, wipes his hands
absent-mindedly, then hands Mereia's flask to Caesonia.) What was
it? An antidote?
CAESONIA (calmly) No, Caligula. Asthma medicine.
CALIGULA (A short pause, gazing down at Mereia) No matter. It
all comes to the same thing in the end. A little sooner, a little
later. . . (He goes out hurriedly, still wiping his hands, Helicon
follows him).
CASSIUS (horrified) What shall we do?
CAESONIA (coolly) Remove that body to begin with. It's gross and
ugly.
CASSIUS (to Cherea, as he lifts up the body with Cherea and
Cassius) We must act quickly.
CHEREA Well need at least a hundred. (They drag the body into
the wings.)
Young Scipio enters. Seeing Caesonia, he makes as if to
leave.
CAESONIA Come here.
SCIPIO What do you want?
-
CAESONIA Nearer. (She pushes up his chin and looks him in the
eyes. Pause. Coldly) He killed your father, didn't he?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA And you hate him?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA You want to kill him?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA But why tell me?
SCIPIO Killing him or being killed. Both are ways out of this.
Besides, you won't betray me.
CAESONIA Youre right. I wont betray you. But Id like to tell you
something -- to speak to the best in you.
SCIPIO Youll be talking to my hatred then.
CAESONIA Just listen. First, try to imagine your father's death.
His agonized face as they were tearing out his tongue. Think of
that mouth filled with blood and of his screaming like a tortured
animal. (SCIPIO is stunned. CAESONIA grabs him and looks directly
into his face) Listen: now think of Caligula and try to understand
him. (She exits. Scipio just stands there).
HELICON (Entering) Run along, my little poet.
SCIPIO I need your help, Helicon.
HELICON (Moving away) Too dangerous. And poetry is a closed book
to me. Now get going, Caligula will be here in a moment.
SCIPIO You know so much.
HELICON I know that time passes and that growing boys shouldnt
miss a meal. I also know youre capable of killing Caligula . . .
and that he wouldn't be averse to you doing it.
Helicon goes out. Caligula enters.
CALIGULA Ah, it's you, Scipio. (He pauses, seeming embarrassed.)
I havent seen you in a long time. (Slowly approaches Scipio.) What
have you been up to? Still writing, I suppose.
SCIPIO (with his back to Caligula; ill at ease, torn between
hatred and some less defined emotion) I have written a few poems,
Caesar.
CALIGULA About what?
SCIPIO Oh, on nothing in particular. Well, on Nature in a
way.
CALIGULA A fine theme. And a vast one. What has Nature done for
you though?
SCIPIO (pulling himself together, ironically and defiantly) She
consoles me for not being Caesar.
CALIGULA Ah, and do you think she could console me for being
Caesar?
SCIPIO (in the same tone) Why not? Nature has cured deeper
infections than that.
-
CALIGULA (in a curiously young, unaffected voice) Infections? I
detect malice in your voice. Because I put killed your father? . .
. (in a different tone) Well, well, there's nothing like hatred for
developing intelligence.
SCIPIO (stiffly) I answered your question.
Caligula takes the young man's face between his hands.
CALIGULA Recite your poem to me, please.
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Why not?
SCIPIO I dont have it with me.
CALIGULA Can't you remember it?
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Tell me at least what's in it.
SCIPIO (still hostile; moves toward Caligula in spite of
himself) It speaks of --
CALIGULA Well?
SCIPIO No, I cant --
CALIGULA Try --
SCIPIO It speaks of a . . . a certain harmony .
CALIGULA (breaking in; in a pensive voice) . . . between one's
feet and the earth.
SCIPIO (looking surprised) Yes, it's almost that.
CALIGULA Go on.
SCIPIO And it tells of the silhouette of the Roman hills and the
sudden thrill of peace that twilight brings to them --
CALIGULA -- of the sharp cries of swallows winding through the
green dusk.
SCIPIO (yielding more and more to his emotion) Yes! And that
precarious moment when the sky all flushed with red and gold swings
round and shows its other side, spangled with stars.
CALIGULA The faint smell of trees, of wood smoke mingling with
the rising night mist.
SCIPIO (completely won over) And the chirr of crickets, the
coolness veining the warm air, the rumble of last carts and the
farmers' calling, dogs barking --
CALIGULA And the roads drowned in shadows curving through the
aromatic olive groves.
SCIPIO That's just it . . . But how did you know it in all the
detail?
CALIGULA (drawing Scipio to his breast) Im not sure! Perhaps
because we love the same things.
SCIPIO (not quite knowing how to respond to Caligula) Everything
I feel or think of, seems to turn to love.
-
CALIGULA (stroking his hair) Such transparent innocence, Scipio!
Thats why you cant understand my own appetite for life. You belong
to another world. You are as good as I am evil.
SCIPIO I do understand.
CALIGULA No. There's something hidden in me -- a pool of silence
matted with rotting weeds. (With an abrupt change of manner) Your
poem sounds very beautiful. But if you really want my opinion
...
SCIPIO (his head on Caligula's breast, murmurs) Yes?
CALIGULA Its all quite . . . anemic.
SCIPIO (Recoils abruptly, as if stung by a serpent; then gazes
horrified, at Caligula) Leading me on as always. And now you're
just some predator gloating over its kill.
CALIGULA (with a hint of sadness) There is some truth in what
you say. I have been pretending.
SCIPIO (in the same tone) It must be torture to put up with that
cancer in your heart.
CALIGULA (gently) That's enough.
SCIPIO You sicken me but I pity you more!
CALIGULA (angrily) Enough!
SCIPIO And I just realized how horribly lonely you!
CALIGULA (in a rush of anger, gripping the boy by the collar,
and shaking him) Lonely! What do you know of it? The loneliness of
teenage poets and impotent men. You babble away, but you don't
realize that one is never alone. The same load of the future and
the past crushes us all. Those we have killed are always with us.
But they are no great trouble. It's those we have loved, those who
loved us and whom we did not love; regrets, desires, bitterness and
sweetness, whores and gods, the celestial gang! Always, always with
us! (He releases Scipio and moves back to his former place.) Alone!
If only in this ghoul-haunted wilderness of mine, I could enjoy
real silence with only the rustling of a tree!(Sitting down and
suddenly weary.) Solitude? No, Scipio, mine is full of gnashings of
teeth, hideous with jarring sounds and voices. And lying beside any
woman I caress, as night closes over us and my body is finally
satisfied, when I hope to find myself poised between life and death
even then my solitude is fouled by the stale smell of pleasure from
the woman still moaning at my side.
A long silence. Caligula seems weary and despondent. Scipio
moves behind him and approaches hesitantly. He slowly stretches out
a hand toward him, from behind, and lays it on his shoulder.
Without looking round, Caligula places his hand on Scipio's.
SCIPIO Everyone has some secret consolation in life. Have you
nothing of the kind? Nothing to which you can turn? No refuge, no
mood that makes the tears well up?
CALIGULA Yes I do.
SCIPIO What is it?
CALIGULA (Pause. Caligula pushes Scipios hand off his shoulder.
Slowly and deliberately) Scorn.
Act Three
A room in the imperial palace. Before the lights come up, music
and noise can be heard, and when they come up we see a small stage
on the stage. On it are Caesonia and Helicon. Seated with their
backs to the audience are the senators and young Scipio. Helicon
and Caesonia run the show like a combination of fairground, Nazi
rally, evangelical meeting and pagan ceremony.
-
HELICON Step up! Step up! One and all! Step up! Once more a god
walks the earth in the human form of our emperor known as Caligula.
Rise up, you mortals of common clay and witness a holy miracle with
your own eyes. Through a favor reserved for the blessed reign of
Caligula, divine secrets will be revealed to all. (Cymbals.)
CAESONIA Come, gentlemen. Come and adore him -- and don't forget
your charitable donations. Today heaven and its mysteries are on
show, at a price to suit every bank account. (cymbals)
HELICON See Olympus naked! The whole intimate truth. Revelations
in high places! (Cymbals.)
CAESONIA Worship him! Throw your money to him. Quick, quick,
gentlemen. The show is about to begin. (Cymbals.)
HELICON A sensational reincarnation of truth. An epoch-making
production with breathtaking effects (light effects) and music to
lift the soul. (music) See fate with your own eyes (over the music)
-- a triumph of the will!
Caesonia and Helicon pose. Costumed religious worshippers appear
and dance to the music -- around Caesonia and Helicon, and
occasionally abusing the worshipping patricians. The music stops
suddenly and two dancers draw aside a curtain to reveal Caligula.
He is beaming through a female mask, blonde curls and golden breast
cones.
CALIGULA (amiably) I'm Venus today.
CAESONIA Now for the adoration. Bow down. (All but Scipio bend
their heads.) And repeat after me the litany of Venus-Caligula.
"Our Lady of pain and pleasure
THE SENATORS "Our Lady of pains and pleasures
CAESONIA "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with seafoam
THE SENATORS "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with
seafoam
CAESONIA "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets
THE SENATORS "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets
CAESONIA "Teach us the indifference that revives love
THE SENATORS "Teach us the indifference that revives love
CAESONIA "Make known to us the truth about this world -- which
is that it has none
THE SENATORS "Make known to us the truth about this world --
which is that it has none
CAESONIA "And grant us strength to live up to that unparalled
truth
THE SENATORS "And grant us strength to live up to that
unparalled truth
CAESONIA Pause!
THE SENATORS Pause!
CAESONIA (after a short silence Caesonia begins again but she
goes faster as if in a trance, and the senators cant keep up --
they are only able to repeat the last phrases) "Shower us with thy
gifts, bestow on us thine impartial cruelty. Rain upon our heads
thy harvests of flowers and murders
-
THE SENATORS "... thy harvests of flowers and murders
CAESONIA "Receive unto thee thy straying children. Receive them
in the bleak sanctuary of your heartless love. Share with us thy
misguided bliss, thy futile sorrows and your raptures that lead
nowhere
THE SENATORS ". . . your raptures that lead nowhere
CAESONIA (raising her voice, but slowing down) "O goddess, so
empty yet so passionate, inhuman yet so earthly, make us drunk with
the wine of thine equivalence, and satisfy us forever in thy Hard!
(cymbals) Black! (drum) Heart! (drum and cymbals. Caesonia accents
the last with a bump and grind)
CALIGULA (He rings tiny finger cymbals. In a Gregorian-like
chant) Granted, my children, your prayers will be fulfilled. (He
rings the cymbals again and several dancers supervised by Helicon
hold out collection pots. One by one the SENATORS make obeisance,
deposit their money and line up on the right. The last, in his
flurry, forgets to make an offering. Caligula bounds to his feet.)
Hey! Come here, my darling. Worship's very well, but charity is
better. Thank you. Thats it. If the gods had no other income than
the love you mortals give them, they'd be as poor as poor Caligula.
Now, gentlemen, you may go, and spread abroad the glad tidings of
the miracle you've been allowed to witness. You have really seen
Venus with your fleshly eyes, and Venus herself has spoken to you.
Go, most favored gentlemen. (The SENATORS begin to move away.) As
you leave, make sure you exit to your left. Outside the door to
your right I have posted guards to assassinate you.
The SENATORS file out hastily, in some disorder. The slaves and
musicians leave the stage. Scipio picks up one of the collection
pots and angrily tosses it to Helicon
HELICON (pointing a threatening finger at Scipio) Scipio, youre
still the little anarchist!
SCIPIO (to Caligula, who is moving from up centre) Playing at
blasphemy, now, Caius.
CALIGULA Blasphemy? What could that possibly mean?
SCIPIO After bloodying the earth you start spitting on
heaven.
HELICON Theres a touch of bombast in this youngster. (He sits
leisurely.)
CAESONIA (Calming. Sitting) Careful, Scipio. People are dying in
Rome for much less.
SCIPIO Somebody should tell him the truth.
CAESONIA Well, Caligula. Heres the one thing missing in your
Empire -- a bold young moralist. (Gets more comfortable)
CALIGULA (Stops and giving Scipio a curious glance) Do you
really believe in any god, Scipio?
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Then why be so eager to sniff out blasphemy?
SCIPIO I can deny something without smearing it or depriving
others of the right to believe in it.
CALIGULA (Close to him) Very tolerant my dear Scipio, how happy
I am for you -- and even a touch envious. Such modesty is the one
emotion I may never feel.
SCIPIO Youre jealous of the gods not me.
CALIGULA (Removes mask and breast cones and takes a slouching
stand next to Caesonia) With your permission, Id like that to be
the great secret of my reign. For someone who loves power there is
something irritating about the rivalry of the gods, and thats why
Ive done away with them. I've proved to these imaginary gods that,
without previous training, a mere human, if he applies himself, can
practice their ridiculous profession.
-
SCIPIO Thats what I meant by blasphemy, Caius.
CALIGULA No, no Scipio, it's clarity. We can become the equal of
a god by becoming as cruel as he is.
SCIPIO By playing the tyrant.
CALIGULA And what exactly is a tyrant?
SCIPIO A blind soul. (sits)
CALIGULA Im not sure. A real tyrant is a person who sacrifices
an institution or a whole nation to ambition or some ideal. I have
no ideals, and there's no honors or powers left for me to drool
over. (Scipio sits and Caligula comes over and sits next to him) Do
you know how many wars I've refused to embark on? (bending over his
feet and scrutinizing his toes)
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Three. And do you know why I refused?
SCIPIO Because the reputation of Rome means nothing to you.
CALIGULA No. Because I respect human life.
SCIPIO More jokes Caius.
CALIGULA Or at least I respect it more than I respect military
ideals. But it's also true that I don't respect it more than I
respect my own life, and if I find killing easy, it's because dying
isn't hard for me. No, the more I think about it, the surer I feel
that I'm not a tyrant.
SCIPIO (with a shrug) What does it matter, since it costs Rome
as much as if you were one?
CALIGULA (with a hint of petulance) If you knew how to count
you'd realize that the smallest war undertaken by a reasonable
tyrant would cost a thousand times more than all my eccentricities
do.
SCIPIO A war has some sense behind it and to be understandable
makes up for a lot.
CALIGULA Fate can never be understood. Thats why Ive become
fate. Taken on the stupid and incomprehensible face of divinity.
Thats what those Senators were adoring a moment ago.
SCIPIO Blasphemy, vanity -- call it what you want Caius.
CALIGULA (Rising and crossing toward Caesonia) It's art, Scipio!
You people make the mistake of not taking the drama seriously
enough. If you did, youd know that any one can play lead in the
divine comedy and become a god. ( He does a mock dance. Caesonia
and Helicon applaud. He embraces Caesonia, both laughing.) He just
needs to harden his heart.
SCIPIO (Gets up and claps sarcastically) You have done that
successfully, Caius, but god-like qualities are contagious. Some
day a legion of human gods just as ruthless as you will rise up and
bathe your momentary divinity in blood.
CAESONIA So much for your idealism, Scipio!
CALIGULA (peremptorily) Never mind Caesonia. You are absolutely
right, Scipio. I find it hard to picture the event you speak of.
But sometimes I dream of it -- all those faces coming at me,
convulsed with fear and hatred. And I welcome them. For I see in
them the only god I have ever adored -- rebellious humanity.
(Irritably) Now leave me. Philosophys a waste of time. (Scipio
rises and exits) I still have my toenails to paint. (Caesonia puts
paint pots and brushes next to him and then Caligula brushes her
off -- she exits) Helicon!
-
HELICON Yes?
CALIGULA Are you getting on with your work?
HELICON What work?
CALIGULA The moon.
HELICON Im making progress. It takes time and patience. But I'd
like to have a word with you.
CALIGULA I might have patience, but I havent much time. So youll
have to hurry.
HELICON I said I'd do my best. But, first, I have something to
tell you.
CALIGULA (as if he has not heard) Mind you, I've had her
already
HELICON Whom?
CALIGULA The moon.
HELICON Yes .... yes, of course. But do you know there's a plot
on your life?
CALIGULA I really had her, too. Only two or three times, to be
sure. But, oh, I did have her.
HELICON I've been trying to tell you about it, only --
CALIGULA It was last summer. With all my gaping at her and
caressing her on the columns in the garden she had eventually
caught on.
HELICON Forget the trivialities, Caius. You have to hear
this
CALIGULA (applying red polish to his toenails) This polish is no
good at all. But, to come back to the moon -- it was a cloudless
August night.(Helicon looks sulkily away, and keeps silence.) In
the beginning she was coy. I was already in bed. Then she began to
rise, brighter and brighter, quicker and quicker. The higher she
rose, the lighter she became till finally she was a milky white
pool amidst the multitudinous rustling of stars. She stepped over
the threshold and, slowly but surely, glided to my bed, slipped in
and bathed me in her smiles and dazzle. Then she came in the warm
night air -- gentle, weightless and naked. -- No, this new polish
is a failure ... So you see, Helicon, I can say, without boasting,
that I've had her.
HELICON Now will you listen?
CALIGULA (ceasing to fiddle with his toes, and gazing at him
fixedly) All I
want, Helicon, is the moon. I know in advance what will kill me.
I haven't yet tasted everything that can keep me alive. That's why
I want the moon. And dont come back before youve captured her for
me.
HELICON (gets up) Alright. . . . I'm going to tell you anyway.
There's a plot. Cherea is the leader. This letter came into my
hands. It will tell you the essentials. Im leaving it here. (He
places the letter on one of the seats and moves away.)
CALIGULA Where are you off to, Helicon?
HELICON (just before he exits) To get the moon for you.
There is an uneasy cough from the rear. Caligula swings round
and sees the Old SENATOR.
THE OLD SENATOR (timidly) May I, Caius ... .
-
CALIGULA Come in! Come in! (Standing up and with mock
eagerness.) So, my pet, you've returned to have another look at
Venus.
THE OLD SENATOR Well . . . no. It's not quite that. Its . . .
You know I'm very, very devoted to you -- and my one desire is to
end my days in peace.
CALIGULA Come to the point! Come to the point!
THE OLD SENATOR Ssh! (realizing that hes telling Caligula to be
quiet) Oh, sorry, Caius! I only wanted ... . Well, it's . . . it's
like this.(hurriedly) It's terribly serious, that's what I meant to
say.
CALIGULA No, it isn't serious.
THE OLD SENATOR What isn't, Caius?
CALIGULA But what are we talking about, darling?
THE OLD SENATOR (glancing nervously round the room) I mean
--
(Wriggles, shuffles, then bursts out with it.) There's a
conspiracy.
CALIGULA (Sits and resumes toe-nail painting) You see. Just as I
said, it isn't serious.
THE OLD SENATOR (Sits next to Caligula) Caius, they intend to
kill you.
CALIGULA (approaching him and grasping his shoulders) Do you
know why I can't believe you?
THE OLD SENATOR (raising an arm, as if to take an oath) May God
bear witness, Caius ...
CALIGULA Don't swear. I particularly ask you not to swear.
(Gently but firmly pressing him back. Sees his nails and starts to
paint them)Listen, instead. If what you were saying were true, I
should have to come to the conclusion that you are breaking
confidence with your colleagues in Caligulas advisory committee,
shouldnt I?
THE OLD SENATOR (flustered) That is, Caius, considering the deep
affection I have for you --
CALIGULA (dabs gently a little paint on SENATORs nose) And Id
hate to come to that conclusion. After all, I loathe cowardly
traitors so much that I could never resist having one put to death.
But I know the man you are, my valued friend. And certainly you
neither wish to play the traitor nor to die.
THE OLD SENATOR Certainly not, Caius. Most certainly not.
(Almost weeping, he bows his bald head to to look at his painted
nails)
CALIGULA (Hold the SENATORs bald head at arms length and
measuring it with a judicious eye) So you see I was right in
refusing to believe you. Youre not a coward are you? (Paints a
comic face on his bald head).
THE OLD SENATOR Oh, no!
CALIGULA (Still painting) Nor a traitor?
THE OLD SENATOR I need hardly tell you that, Caius.
CALIGULA And consequently there is no plot, is there? This was
just a practical joke of yours?
THE OLD SENATOR (feebly, his face distorted with terror) A joke,
merely a joke.
CALIGULA (Pushing SENATORs face down to continue painting)
Obviously, no one wants to kill me.
-
THE OLD SENATOR No one, of course not, not one.
CALIGULA (Takes SENATOR by the arm and assists him ) Then Ill
ask you to leave, sweetheart. A man with honor is such an
endangered species nowadays that I cannot bear the sight of one too
long. I want to be alone to luxuriate in this unique experience.
(For some moments he gazes, without moving, at the letter. He picks
it up and reads it. Then, again, draws a deep breath. Then calls
offstage to a guard.)
CALIGULA Bring Cherea to me. (Then) Make sure you treat him with
all due respect. (Caligula crosses stage and stands wearily as a
shaft of moonlight envelops him. He turns and poses as if he were
surveying himself in a mirror. He addresses his imaginary
reflection.) You were the fool who decided to be logical! Now youll
have to find out how far it can go. (Ironically) If you were
brought the moon, everything would be different, wouldnt it? What
is impossible would become possible, and in a flash -- a great
transfiguration. One night, perhaps Helicon will catch her sleeping
in a lake, and carry her here, trapped in a glistening net, all
slimy with weeds and water, like a pale bloated fish drawn from the
deep. Why not, Caligula? (He casts a glance round the room.) Fewer
and fewer people round me. (Addressing the mirror, in a hoarse
voice.) Too many dead, too many dead. Even if the moon were mine, I
couldnt retrace my way. Even if those dead men were stirring again
under the sun's caress, the murders would not stay underground.
(Turns in pain from the mirror, then faces it again) You must stick
to the logic, Caligula go to the bitter end! (He comes back down
and concealing the letter in his cloak, sits. The shaft of
moonlight has disappeared.Cherea enters.)
CHEREA You sent for me, Caius?
CALIGULA (Caligula is staring absently at the place where the
moonlight was.) Yes, Cherea.
A short silence.
CHEREA Have you anything particular to tell me?
CALIGULA No, Cherea.
Another silence.
CHEREA (with a hint of petulance) Are you sure my presence is
necessary?
CALIGULA Absolutely sure, Cherea. (Another silence. Then, as if
suddenly
recollecting himself) But excuse me, Im absent-minded and
receiving you badly. Sit down and talk with me, like two friends. I
need some intelligent conversation. (Cherea sits down. For the
first time since the play began, Caligula gives the impression of
being his natural self.) Do you think, Cherea, that it's possible
for two men of much the same temperament at least once in their
lives to talk to each other with complete frankness -- as if they
stood naked and facing each other, washed free of the prejudices of
private interests, and of the lies by which they live?
CHEREA Possible, yes, Caius. But I don't think you'd be capable
of it.
CALIGULA You're right. I simply wanted to know if you agreed
with me. So let's put our masks back on then and fall back on our
lies. Lets talk like soldiers going into combat -- covered up to
the eyes, padding on all the vital parts. Tell me, Cherea, why
don't you like me?
CHEREA Because there's nothing likable about you, Caius. Because
such feelings arent subject to command. Also, I see a family
resemblance in you. And I cant like one of my own faces that I am
trying to cover up in me.
CALIGULA But why is it you hate me?
CHEREA I dont hate you. I think youre cruel, vain and selfish.
But I cant hate you, because I don't think you are happy. And I
cant scorn you, because I know you are no coward.
CALIGULA Then why do you want to kill me?
-
CHEREA I've already told you: because you are a constant menace.
I need to feel secure. Like most people. They resent living in a
world where the strangest thoughts can become reality in the
twinkling of an eye and transfix their lives like a knife in the
heart. I feel the same way. I want to know where I stand, and to
stand secure.
CALIGULA Security and logic don't go together.
CHEREA Quite true. My plan of life may not be logical, but at
least it's workable.
CALIGULA (intensely interested) Go on.
CHEREA There's no more to say. It's only natural that you should
. . . disappear.
CALIGULA I see your point, and for most people, I grant you,
it's obvious. But you? Youre intelligent and a person either pays
dearly for intelligence or represses it. I am paying up. But why
are you both unwilling to repress it and unwilling to pay up? You
know better.
CHEREA Because I'm ordinary. There are moments when I desire the
death of those I love, or lust after a woman forbidden to me by
friendship or family. Were logic everything, I'd kill or seduce on
such occasions. But you cant live that way.
CALIGULA So you believe in some higher ideal?
CHEREA I believe some actions are better than others.
CALIGULA And I dont believe theres any reason to choose between
them.
CHEREA I understand, Caius, and, to a point, agree with you.
That's why I don't hate you. Nevertheless, you stand in our way and
you must disappear.
CALIGULA So why risk your life by telling me this?
CHEREA Because others will take my place, and because I don't
like to lie.
A short silence.
CALIGULA Cherea.
CHEREA Yes, Caius?
CALICULA Do you think that it's possible for two men of much the
same temperament at least once in their lives to open their hearts
to each other?
CHEREA Isnt that what we've just been doing.
CALIGULA Yes, Cherea. But you thought I was incapable of it.
CHEREA I was wrong, Caius. I admit it, and I thank you. Now I
await your sentence.
CALIGULA My sentence? Ah, I see. (Producing the letter from
under his cloak.) Do you recognize this, Cherea?
CHEREA I suspected you had a copy.
CALIGULA (stifles a scream, holding the letter up to his face,
moves away from Cherea. Passionately) You knew I had it! So your
frankness was a piece of play acting. The two friends did not open
their hearts to each other. Oh well! At least we can stop playing
at sincerity, and resume living the way we were. But first I ask
you to make just one more effort to swallow my insults and bad
humor. Listen carefully, Cherea. This is the only piece of evidence
against you.
-
CHEREA (moves to go) I'm leaving Caius. I'm sick and tired of
all these games. CALIGULA (in the same tense, passionate voice)
Just a minute. This letter is the only evidence. Right?
CHEREA Evidence? When have you needed evidence to send a man to
his death.
CALIGULA That's true. But for once I want to contradict myself.
It will harm no one, and its good to contradict oneself
occasionally. It relaxes a person. And I need relaxation
Cherea.
CHEREA Youre too subtle for me, Caius.
CALIGULA I forgot, Cherea. You are a healthy man. You dont want
to be an anything out of the ordinary man. (Bursting into
laughter)You want to live and to be happy -- That's all! Nothing
more!
CHEREA Lets leave it at that.
CALIGULA A little patience, if you don't mind. I have evidence
and I choose to assume that I can't sentence you to death without
it. That's my idea . . . and my relaxation. Well! See what becomes
of evidence in the hands of an Emperor. (He holds the letter to a
torch. Cherea approaches. The torch is between them. The letter
begins to burn.) You see, conspirator! It burns, and as this proof
disappears, a new innocence dawns on your face again. What a
handsome forehead you have, Cherea! And innocence is so beautiful!
Marvel at my power. Even a god cannot restore innocence without
first punishing the culprit. But your emperor needs only a torch
flame to expiate your crime Consider in that light, the wonderful
reasoning you have just given me. Your emperor longs for his rest.
That's his way of living and being happy.
Cherea stares, bewildered, at Caligula. He turns, but almost
backs out, unable to take his eyes off Caligula who is still
holding up an imaginary letter to the flame. Caligula follows the
receding figure with his gaze, laughing
and sobbing. Act Four
A room in the imperial palace. The stage is in semidarkness.
Cherea and Scipio enter. Cherea crosses to the right, then comes
back left to Scipio.
SCIPIO (With a sullen mouth) What do you want of me?
CHEREA You didn't come to our meeting yesterday.
SCIPIO (looking away and crossing) That's right.
CHEREA Scipio, I'm not in the habit of asking help from others,
but I need you now. You and I are the only ones who can sponsor
this murder with the right motives. I want you to stay with us.
SCIPIO I cant do that.
CHEREA So you are with him then?
SCIPIO No ...
CHEREA And yet he killed your father.
SCIPIO That's how it all began. But thats how it ends, too.
CHEREA Sometimes you just have to choose.
SCIPIO Were consumed by the same fire. Im unfortunate enough to
understand him. CHEREA So you have chosen to take his side.
SCIPIO (passionately) No, I can never, ever again take anyones
side.
-
CHEREA (affectionately; approaching Scipio) Hes taught you to
despair in taking any action because to do so would bloody your
innocent hands in some way or other. That, by itself, would justify
me in killing him. (Helicon enters.)
HELICON I've been looking for you, Cherea. Caligula's planning a
little get-to-gether. He wants you to wait for him. (to Scipio) You
aren't invited. Off you go!
SCIPIO (looking back at Cherea as he goes out) Cherea.
CHEREA (gently) Yes, Scipio?
SCIPIO You do understand.
CHEREA (in the same gentle tone) No, Scipio.
Scipio and Helicon go out. The Old SENATOR and the Octavius are
thrown into the room.
OCTAVIUS But what can he want with us at this hour of the night?
If it's only to have us killed why all these preliminaries?
THE OLD SENATOR We should have acted sooner; I always said so.
Now we're in this torture chamber. (Cherea enters)
CHEREA (Sits, showing no sign of apprehension.) Any idea what's
happening?
SENATORS (speaking together) He's found out about the
conspiracy.
CHEREA And?
TIlE OLD SENATOR (shuddering) Torture.
CHEREA (still unperturbed) Caligula once gave 81,000 sesterces
to a slave who, despite torture, wouldn't confess to a theft he had
committed.
OCTAVIUS For some reason that doesnt console me.
CHEREA Hes a connoisseur of courage. You ought to keep that in
mind. (to the Old Patrician) If you dont mind, would stop
chattering your teeth? I detest that sound.
THE OLD SENATOR Ah -- --
OCTAVIUS Concentrate on the fact that our lives are at
stake.
CHEREA (coolly) Youll be quoting Caligula next.
TIlE OLD SENATOR (on the verge of tears) Remember what he always
says it to the executioner: "Kill him slowly, so that he feels what
dying's like and hence appreciates life more!"
CHEREA After an execution he yawns, and says quite seriously:
"What I admire most is my insensitivity." Thats my favorite.
OCTAVIUS I hear something.
CHEREA Of course such a remark betrays a weakness. If he were
really insensitive he would never make such a boast.
THE OLD SENATOR If you dont mind, would you stop philosophizing?
I detest that!
-
Helicon enters carrying a gigantic war axe.
CHEREA (who has not noticed Helicon) Lets admit at least that
such a man forces one to think. There's nothing like insecurity for
stimulating the brain. No wonder hes so hated.
THE OLD SENATOR (pointing a trembling finger at the axe which
Helicon has placed just behind Cherea) Its happening!
CHEREA (Noticing now, and in a slightly altered tone) Maybe you
were right.
OCTAVIUS Waiting was a mistake. We should have acted at
once.
CHEREA Now we know.
THE OLD SENATOR I don't want to die.
Suddenly strange music begins behind a curtain at the back of
the stage. The hostages gaze at each other in silence. Outlined on
the illuminated curtain, in shadow play, Caligula appears and
executes some grotesque dance movements. He is wearing ballet
dancer's skirts and his head is garlanded with flowers. As the
music climaxes Caligula disappears and Helicon announces gravely:
"Gentlemen, the performance is over."Meanwhile Caesonia has entered
soundlessly behind the watching Senators. She speaks in an ordinary
voice, but none the less they give a start on hearing it.
CAESONIA Caligula has instructed me to tell you that in the past
he has called his advisory committee together only for purposes of
State business. But tonight he has invited you to participate with
him in an artistic emotion. (A short pause. Then she continues in
the same tone.)He added, I should note, that anyone who failed to
participate would strung up on a meat hook. (They keep silent.) I
apologize for insisting, but I must ask if you found the dance
beautiful.
OCTAVIUS (After only a brief hesitation) It was beautiful,
Caesonia.
THE OLD SENATOR (effusively) Lovely! Lovely!
CAESONIA And you, Cherea?
CHEREA (Icily) It was . . . fine art.
CAESONIA Good. Now I can convey your critical appreciation to
Caligula. (She exits)
HELICON Tell me, Cherea, was it really fine art?
CHEREA In a way.
HELICON I defer to your cleverness, Cherea. Deceptive as only a
respectable citizen can be. But clever indeed. I am not clever. And
yet Im very protective of Caius, even if he wants none of it.
CHEREA I dont quite understand what youre saying. But I
congratulate you on your devotion to duty. I like devoted
servants.
(Cherea laughs and turns away. Helicon draws one knife and puts
the flat side on the side of Chereas face pulling it around to face
him. Helicon takes out another knife and places the sharp side
directly between them as Cherea is forced to look him straight in
the eye.)
HELICON Look carefully Cherea. Study it like a piece of fine
art. A portrait of your enemy. (He pats Cherea on the head with the
flat knife, and then exits).
CHEREA (Angrily) Now, lets act quickly. You two stay here.
Before the night is out there'll be a hundred of us. (Exits)
-
OCTAVIUS (Sadly) Did I really say that dance was beautiful.
THE OLD PATRICIAN (conciliatingly) Maybe we just didnt
understand it.
Lucius enters
LUCIUS Whats going on? Caligulas guards forced me to come
here.
THE OLD SENATOR (absent-mindedly) For the dance, perhaps.
LUCIUS Dance?
THE OLD SENATOR Excuse me, the artistic emotion.
Cassius enters
CASSIUS I've just heard Caligula's very ill.
OCTAVIUS He is.
CASSIUS What's the matter with him? (In a joyful tone) By the
gods, is he going to die?
OCTAVIUS I doubt it. His disease is only fatal to others.
CAESONIA ( Enters and in a casual tone) I thought you should
know that Caligula has serious stomach trouble. Just now he vomited
blood.(They crowd round her, not noticing Caligula off to the
side)
LUCIUS I vow to the gods if he recovers, to pay the Treasury two
hundred thousand sesterces as a token of my joy.
CASSIUS (on one knee with exaggerated eagerness) Take my life in
place of his!
Caligula has entered, and is listening.
CALIGULA (going up to Lucius) I accept your offer, Lucius. And I
thank you. A representative of the Treasurer Board will call on you
tomorrow. (Goes to Cassius and embraces him.) You can't imagine how
touched I am. (A short pause. Then, tenderly) So you love me,
Cassius, as much as that?
CASSIUS (emotionally) Caesar, there's nothing, nothing I
wouldn't sacrifice for your sake.
CALIGULA (embracing him again) Ah, Cassius, this is really too
much; I don't deserve all this love. (Cassius makes a protesting
gesture.) No, no, really, I'm not worthy of such devotion. (He
beckons to two soldiers.) Take him away. (gently, to Cassius) Go,
my friend, and remember that Caligulas heart is yours.
CASSIUS (terrified) But where are they taking me?
CALIGULA To death, of course. You gave your life in exchange for
mine. I feel better already. Even that nasty taste of blood in my
mouth has gone. Youve cured me, Cassius. And now that Im quite
myself again, I feel like throwing a party in honor of my generous
friend.(Cassius face is distorted by terror and his body limp with
fear as he is dragged away)
CALIGULA (In a nostalgic tone) Soon the paths along the sea will
be bobbing with golden mimosa flowers. Young women will be wearing
light summer dresses. The blue sky will be washed with a light
breeze and clean swift sunshine! The smiles of life. (serious) If
you had loved life enough, my friend, you wouldn't have gambled it
away so rashly.
CASSIUS (Momentarily revived by one last effort to change
Caligulas mind) But its all a joke, Caligula. Lifes just a joke.
And Im laughing. Cac, cac, cac, cac. See, Im laughing! Cac! Cac!
Cac! Cac! (It doesnt work, and his "laugh" starts to alternative
with weeping offstage, until it abruptly stops).
-
CALIGULA (Looking at Lucius) And the loser must pay. The winner
demands it. (A short silence.) Come, Caesonia. (He turns to the
others.)By the way, an idea has just ambushed me, and I want to
share it with you. Up to now my reign has been too happy. There's
been no world-wide plague, no religious persecution, not even a
revolution -- in short, nothing likely to give us a place in
history. In a sense, you see, thats why I have been trying to make
up for the modesty of fate. I mean -- I don't know if you've
followed me -- well (he gives a little laugh), in short, Im your
plague. (In a different tone) But dont say a word. Heres Cherea's
coming. Youre on, Caesonia.
(Caligula goes out. Cherea enters. Caesonia hurries toward
Cherea.)
CAESONIA Caligula is dead.
She turns her head, as if to hide her tears; her eyes are fixed
on the others. Everyone looks horrified but for different reasons.
Cherea moves hastily from one man to the other. No one speaks
except the Old Patrician who cant help himself.
THE OLD SENATOR Only a short while ago he was dancing. (Caesonia
fixes on him)
CAESONIA The effort was too much for him. (No one speaks.)
You've nothing to say, Cherea?
CHEREA (in a low voice) It's a great misfortune for us all,
Caesonia.
Caligula bursts in violently and goes up to Cherea.
CALIGULA Well played, Cherea. (He spins round and stares at the
others. Petulantly) So it didn't come off. (to Caesonia) Don't
forget what I told you.
(Caligula abruptly dashes off. Nobody knows whats going on.)
THE OLD SENATOR (hoping against hope) Is he ill, Caesonia?
CAESONIA (with a hostile look) No, my pet. Though he never has
more than two hours sleep and spends the best part of the night
stalking the corridors. You should give a thought to what may pass
in this man's mind in those hours between midnight and sunrise. Is
he ill? No, hes not ill, unless you invent a name for the boils and
sores that fester in his soul.
(Recovering her composure and in a changed tone) Oh, I was
forgetting. Caligula has decreed that today is to be a special
holiday devoted to art. So he has organized a poetry reading. A
group of poets will be given a set theme and asked to improvise. He
wants the poets among you to take part in the competition. He
particularly mentioned young Scipio and wise Octavius.
OCTAVIUS But Im no poet ---
CAESONIA (In a level tone, as if she has not heard him) Needless
to say there will be prizes. There will also be penalties. (Looks
of consternation.) Just between ourselves, the penalties are not
too severe.
OCTAVIUS -- I can appreciate good poetry, but writing -- (Cut
off by Caligulas entry, looking gloomier than ever.)
CALIGULA All ready?
CAESONIA Yes. (Calling offstage) Poets can enter.
They enter and arrange themselves beside Scipio and
Octavius.
CALIGULA The "Caligula Prize." Subject: death. Time limit: one
minute.
The poets scribble feverishly on their tablets.
-
THE OLD SENATOR (Taking a keen interest) Who will compose the
jury?
CALIGULA I shall. Isn't that enough?
THE OLD SENATOR Oh, yes, quite enough.
CHEREA Will you be competing, Caius?
CALIGULA Unnecessary. I wrote my poem on this theme long
ago.
THE OLD SENATOR (Eagerly) Where can one get a copy of it?
CALIGULA No need. I recite it every day, in my own way.
(Caesonia eyes him nervously. Caligula rounds on her almost
savagely.) Is there anything in my appearance that displeases
you?
CAESONIA (Gently) I'm sorry. (She turns away)
CALIGULA (Caligula turns to Cherea.) As I was saying. It's the
only poem I have ever fathered, but its the living proof that I am
the only true artist Rome has ever known -- the only one, Cherea,
to reconcile his thoughts and his deeds.
CHEREA Surely its only a matter of having the power to do
so.
CALIGULA Quite true. Other artists create because they lack
power. I don't need to make a work of art; I live it. (Brutally)
Well, poets, are you ready? (No one answers)
CALIGULA Good. I take that for a yes. Listen carefully. When I
whistle, the first of you will step forward and begin reading. When
I whistle again, he must stop and the second begin. And so on. The
winner, of course, will be