Business English Correspondence 商务英语函电 《 商务英语函电 》 编写组 主编：湖北十堰职业技术学院 王 燕（副教授）

Business English Correspondence

商务英语函电

《商务英语函电》编写组

主编：湖北十堰职业技术学院 王 燕（副教授）

Unit 1Unit 1 Introduction to Business English Introduction to Business English CorrespondenceCorrespondence

• Teaching Objectives:

Knowledge Requirements:1 To enhance students’ awareness of functions & essential qualities of business English correspondence2 To enable students to become familiar with structural parts and styles of business English Correspondence

Competence Requirements:1 To skillfully write structural parts of business English Correspondence with proper styles2 To skillfully rewrite sentences according to essential qualities or golden guidelines of business English correspondence through exercises

Part One Functions Business English Part One Functions Business English CorrespondenceCorrespondence

• The importance of proper communication skills can never be overstressed as it is of crucial importance in the conduct of business activities or in business personnel’s clear, accurate and effective communication via the evolving information technology.

• The written mode of communication consists of a vast variety of media, namely, letters, memos, working reports, instructions, notices, meeting agenda, minutes, etc. Among them, letters are the most commonly used medium.

• Generally speaking, the functions of business correspondence can be cited as follows:

To inform, which refers to conveying the vast amount of information needed to day-to-day operations of the business;

To influence, which means that messages included in a business letter should also influence the reader’s attitudes and functions.

And to entertain, which means that the ability to write communicative or informative business letters can be as conducive to you socially as the ability to converse eloquently or entertain successfully. To some extent, such letters can even help facilitate all business activities, such as timesaving, troubleshooting, inconvenience-solving and smooth transactions. They go to the hospital to cheer a sick business partner; they go to your business partner to thank him or her for entertaining you the other day or to express your appreciation and hospitality of reciprocating their kindness when you are not in the position to do so in person. They convey your best wishes, congratulations, condolences, etc.

Part Two Structural Parts and Styles of Part Two Structural Parts and Styles of

Business English CorrespondenceBusiness English Correspondence

• 2.1 Structural Parts of Business English English CorrespondenceCorrespondence

• A business correspondence consists of seven standard parts, namely, the heading or letterhead, the date, the inside address, the salutation, the body, the complimentary close, and the writer’s signature and official position. Whenever necessary or appropriate, any of the following optional parts can be included: reference number, attention line, subject line, enclosure (s), carbon copy notation (cc) and postscript. See the following format:

2.1.12.1.1 LetterheadLetterhead ( ( 信头信头 ))

• The letterhead, usually printed in the up-center or at the right or left margin of a letter writing paper, contains the all necessary information about the company’s name, address, postcode, telephone number or telex number and fax number, E-mail address, website and even a logo of the company.

• Sample 1:• Golden Trading Company Ltd

• 12D Northern Avenue, New York, 10017 U.S.A. • Tel: (01)633-3626626 Telex: (01) 45667

• Fax: (01)633-3626676

Sample 2:Sample 2:

But when writing on blank paper, type only the But when writing on blank paper, type only the address at the right or left margin.address at the right or left margin.

• Sample 1:• Golden Trading Company Ltd

12D Northern Avenue, • New York, 10017

• U.S.A.• January 14, 2008

• Mr. Lee Johnsons• 4 Victoria Street• London EW1HOEP• Britain

• Dear Mr. Johnsons,

• Enclosed is our latest illustrated catalog of numerical machines which you have asked.

• Sincerely yours,• XXXX

• Sample 2:

• Golden Trading Company Ltd• 12D Northern Avenue,• New York, 10017• U.S.A.• January 14, 2008• Mr. Lee Johnsons• 4 Victoria Street• London EW1HOEP• Britain

• Dear Mr. Johnsons,• Enclosed is our latest illustrated catalog of numerical machines

which you have asked.

• Sincerely yours,• XXXX

2.1.22.1.2 Reference Number and DateReference Number and Date ( ( 参考编号，日期参考编号，日期 ))

• Reference numbers and letters enable replies to be linked with previous correspondence and ensure prompt reception of the letter or facilitate the addressee to identify and locate the corresponding files. The reference may include a file number, department code or the initials of the signer of the letter, sometimes to be followed by the typist’s initials. Failure to quote your counterpart’s reference number may cause inconvenience.

• If the letterhead includes a place for reference, they will be typed in the space provided. Otherwise, they are typed immediately below the letterhead with “Your ref.:” to precede “Our ref.:”

Sample 1:Sample 1:

• INTERCITY BANK Plc

• 58 Jalan Thamrin,

• Jakarta, Indonesia

• Telephone: 375018 Telex: 6756

• Your ref.:

• Our ref.: PL/fh/246

• 12 January, 1987

Where the letterhead does not provide space for it, the Where the letterhead does not provide space for it, the reference number may form part of the first paragraph of reference number may form part of the first paragraph of the reply letter:the reply letter:

• Sample 2:• Dear Sir/Madam• Thank you for your letter, reference PL/fh/246,

of 12 January 1987.• • Or the reference may be typed as a heading:• Sample 3:• Dear Sir/Madam• Your ref.: PL/fh/246• Thank you for your letter of 12 January 1987.

The date line is usually placed two lines below the last

line of the letterhead. The date should always be typed

in full and not abbreviated (e.g. November for Nov.). And

the -th, -st, -nd, and -rd that follow the day can be

omitted (e.g. 5 May for 5th May). Never write ’94 for the

year of 1994, or ’08 for the year of 2008. The following

two are recommended:

September 15, 1994 (American practice)

15 September 1994 (British practice)

Sample 4:Sample 4:SKYVIEW ENTERPRISESSKYVIEW ENTERPRISES7111 Terrazzo Place Sarasota, Fl 33031 (813) 598–10267111 Terrazzo Place Sarasota, Fl 33031 (813) 598–1026January 20, 1995January 20, 1995

• Note: avoid writing dates in figures only, for instance, 03/02/2009, since it could be quite confusing because British form follows the order of day, month and year while the American practice is to write in the order of month, day and year. So 03/02/2009 could be taken as either March 2, 2009 or February 3, 2009.

2.1.32.1.3 Inside AddressInside Address ( ( 封内名称和地址封内名称和地址 ))

• The inside address and name of the addressee is typed at the left-hand margin about 2 ～ 4 lines below the date line.

• The inside address of a letter to an individual consists of the addressee’s courtesy title, name, business or executive title and address. Courtesy titles, such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Messrs. and Mmes., Esq., are the most common ones frequently used in correspondence.

• ‘Esq. ’ is sometimes used instead of ‘Mr.’ for certain class of people, such as judges or magistrates, and should always follow the personal name.

• Sample 1: William Carlos, Esq.

• However, ‘Doctor, Professor, Colonel or Sir’, and other special titles are used instead of ‘Mr.’ or ‘Esp.’ to precede the addressee while his or her official position or qualifications, such as Ph.D., President, etc. follows.

• Sample 2:

• Dr. Earnest K. North

• Prime Minister

• Sir Edwards H. Wells, M.P.

•

• Sir Howard G. Joseph, Bt. (or Bart.)

• (NOTE: Bt. and Bart. are abbreviated forms for Baronet)

• It has become customary to use ‘Ms.’ instead of ‘Mrs.’ or ‘Miss’ as the courtesy title for all women, married or single in recent years. And ‘Messrs.’ and ‘Mmes.’ are abbreviated form of the French words ‘Messieurs’ and ‘Mesdames’ respectively, used only for firms or companies, the names of which include personal elements.

• Sample 3:

• Messrs. Goldwyn & Mesons Co.

• Messrs. Kato & Co., Ltd

When addressing business executives, great

importance must be attached to their title, which

frequently follows their surname. Whether in

writing or typing, a comma is used between their

surname and their business title which is usually

capitalized. In the case that the title is too long to

fit on the same line as the name, type it in one

line below.

• Sample:

• Mr. Tony Blair, Prime Minister

• Dr. East K. Blank

• Chief Purchasing Manager

Close attention must be drawn to the inside address Close attention must be drawn to the inside address when it comes to addressing foreign when it comes to addressing foreign correspondence. Copy exactly the address as your correspondence. Copy exactly the address as your counterpart offers to you. In Western countries, the counterpart offers to you. In Western countries, the right order may be cited as follows:right order may be cited as follows:

• Name of house

• Number of house and name (or number) of street

• Name of town or city

• State or province and its postal code (or Zip Code as in the United States of America)

• Name of country

Here are examples of the inside address and name:Here are examples of the inside address and name:

• (1) To an individual in a company

• Mr. George F. Moore

• Advertising Manager

• Price & Patterson

• 234 Seventh Avenue

• New York,

• U.S.A.

(2) To an anonymous official in the company(2) To an anonymous official in the company

•

• Sales Manager

• Office Systems Pty Ltd

• 124 Oak Street

• Chatswood

• NSW 2067

• Australia

(3) To a company(3) To a company

• Messrs. Kato & Co., Ltd

• 2 Nichome, Ginza Nishi

• Chuo-ku, Tokyo

2.1.4 Attention Line (2.1.4 Attention Line ( 经办人经办人 ))

• ‘Attention line’ directs the letter to a specific individual or department of the firm or organization addressed. It generally follows the inside address and above the salutation, and most often is underlined to attract attention.

• Sample:• Richard Thomas & Baldwins Ltd.,• 151 Gower Street• London, SC7 6DY, England• Attention: Mr. Cave

• Or• Attention of Purchasing Manager

• For the Attention of Mr. Cave, Purchasing Manager

2.1.5 Salutation (2.1.5 Salutation ( 称呼称呼 ))

Salutation is usually placed two lines below the inside address and two lines above the body of the letter. Salutation is the complimentary greeting with which the addresser begins the letter. However, its form is mainly dependent upon the relationship between the addresser and the addressee. The following are customary greetings of the salutation:

• Dear Sirs/Madams/Gentlemen —— to a company• Dear Sir —— to a man if you do not

know his name• Dear Madam —— to a woman if you do

not know her• Dear Mr. Smith —— to a man• Dear Mrs. Smith —— to a married woman• Dear Miss Smith —— to an unmarried

woman• Dear Ms Smith—— to a married or unmarried woman• Dear John—— to a friend or someone you know well• To whom it may concern—— you have no idea of who is the recipient One thing to remember, the choice of a particular

salutation must be corresponding to the subsequent use of complimentary close. This will be discussed in the section of complimentary close.

2.1.6 Subject Line (2.1.6 Subject Line ( 也有其他写法：也有其他写法： subject/sub./subj./Caption subject/sub./subj./Caption

Line/Re :) Line/Re :) （事由、标题）（事由、标题） • Subject line facilitates the reader to identify the topic of

the letter at the first glance. It is usually inserted between the salutation and the body of the business letter, underlined, and sometimes centered or at the left-hand margin for fully-blocked letter form, to draw reader’s or addressee’s attention to the major message or general idea of the letter.

• Sample 1:

• Dear Sirs,• Order No. 2009 for Printed Cotton Piece Goods

• Sample 2:

• Dear Sirs,

• Sub: Children’s Leather Shoes

• Sample 3:

• In re: Invoice No. 1120

• Re: Proposed delay of the delivery

•

• Subject: Proposed delay of the delivery

2.1.7 Body (2.1.7 Body ( 正文正文 ))

• The body of the letter is naturally the most important part of it. When it comes to writing the body of the letter, pay close attention to the following:

• Start a new paragraph every time you change to a new subject; arrange the paragraphs logically so that your letter reads easily and moves naturally toward the aim or purpose you wish to arrive at;

• Begin each sentence with a capital letter and end it with a period or other punctuation;

• Watch your spelling and grammar;• Keep your letter cheerful, concise, correct,

complete and conversational.

• The length of your letter does not matter, but just make sure that your short letter does not sound abrupt, and that your long, chatty letter does not ramble on and on until the reader becomes confused and bored. It is a wonderful quality in writing to beware what and when to say and when to stop.

• It is customary to refer to the previous correspondence or to state the specific purpose of the letter in the first paragraph of the body while the addresser’s request, permission or denial, approval or disapproval, plans and expectations will be conveyed in the last paragraph. The opening sentence of the first paragraph of the body should compel addressee’s interest and attention while the closing sentence of the last paragraph of the body should inspire whatever action or response is desired.

2.1.8 Complimentary Close (2.1.8 Complimentary Close ( 结尾敬词结尾敬词 ))

• The complimentary close of a letter is the ‘goodbye’ before you sign your name and slip your letter into its envelope. It is typed two or three spaces below the body of the letter, beginning about in the middle of the page. Only the beginning letter of the first word should be capitalized; and a comma is inevitable at the end.

• The wording varies according to the type of letter, and according to the degree of friendship and intimacy with the addressee. It is best to conform to the conventional closings in business and social letters. However, always be sure that the salutation must be in conformity with the subsequent complimentary close as suggested earlier.

• The following salutations and their corresponding complementary closes are the most commonly frequented in modern business correspondence.

• Examples of the Formats of Salutation and Corresponding Complementary Close (see the following chart):

2.1.9 Signature2.1.9 Signature and Official Positionand Official Position ( ( 签名签名 ))

The signature is the signed name or mark of the person who writes the letter or the firm which he or she represents. It is crucial to ensure that all of your letters and related documents are signed before they are sent out because such official documents without a signature are not legal-binding. It is written immediately below the complimentary close and somewhat to the right, so that it ends just about in line with the right-hand margin of the letter. There are three guidelines to observe:

1. To sign with a rubber stamp is a form of discourtesy. Always sign by hand, in ink and in full name above the typed name.

2. Since handwritten signature is illegible, the full name of the signer must be typed legibly below so there can be no doubt or misleading as to the spelling of the signer’s name. And its accompanying title must be typed behind or below the signer’s typed name when necessary.

3. It is common practice to write ‘for’, ‘pp’ or ‘per pro’ before the signature when signing on behalf of someone else.

• Frequently the name of the firm represented is used in the signature, with the name of the addresser immediately below it.

• Sample 1:

• Yours faithfully,

• THE INTERNATIONAL TRADING COMPANY

• (Signature)

• Catty Gresham

• Marketing Manager

• Or

• Sample 2:

• Yours faithfully,

• (Signature)

• Catty Gresham

• Marketing Manager

• Or

• Sample 3:

• Yours truly,

• For Hubei SILK IMPORT & EXPORT CO., LTD

• (Signature)

• George Benton, Purchasing Manager

• Or

Sample 4:Sample 4:Yours truly, Yours truly, Per Pro (P.P.)Per Pro (P.P.) Hubei SILK IMPORT & Hubei SILK IMPORT & EXPORT CO., LTDEXPORT CO., LTD(Signature)(Signature)George Benton, Purchasing ManagerGeorge Benton, Purchasing ManagerOrOr

When a letter has been dictated to an assistant, it is customary to give the initials of the person who dictated the letter as well as the stenographer who typed it, for identifying purposes. The initials are placed below and to the left-hand margin. Anyone of the following four methods of initialing may be applied: CN/AM, CN: AM, CN-AM or CN/am. (NOTE: CN stands for Cathy North—the

dictator and AM stands for Amy Megan—the

stenographer) occasionally ‘Cathy North/am’ is also acceptable.

Sample 5:

• If something is enclosed in the letter, attention should called to it by writing ‘enclosure’ or ‘enclosures’ or in their abbreviated forms as ‘enc.’ , ‘encls.’ or ‘encs.’ below the typed signature or below the identifying initials of dictator and stenographer in the lower left-hand corner.

• Sample 1:• Encls: 2 Invoices• Enc.: 1 B/L• 1 Photo• 1 Certificate

• Sample 2:• CN/am• Enclosures: 2 samples

2.1.102.1.10 Enclosure Enclosure (( 或者或者 enc./encl./enclsenc./encl./encls)) （附（附件）件）

2.1.11 Carbon Copy Notation (2.1.11 Carbon Copy Notation ( 缩写为缩写为 cc:cc: ，， cc to XX) cc to XX) (( 抄送抄送 ))

• When copies of a letter are sent to named business associates or other interested parties, the copy recipients are acknowledged with their full name after the typed ‘c.c.’ at the left-hand margin, usually in alphabetical order by surname or in order of seniority as in the following examples.

• Copies: Mr. George W. Bush • Mr. Edwards H. Wilson• CC: Mr. Glenn Willington, Ms Gloria Watson

2.1.12 Postscript (2.1.12 Postscript ( 缩写为缩写为 P.S.P.S. ，， cc to XX) (cc to XX) ( 附附言言 ))

• A postscript might be reckoned as an after-thought, suggesting careless or disorganized thinking. It is usually unnecessary and often unsightly—and should be avoided. However, in business correspondence, it is often purposely applied to draw attention to some information or to emphasize a special offer. The postscript should be brief, and contain only one clear-cut message. It may be added either with or without the ‘P.S.’. The following are some examples of typical business letter postscripts.

• Sample 1:• P. S.: Looking forward to seeing you at the Annual Sales

Meeting at the Hillside Plaza on January 20.• (NOTE: the ‘:’ behind the ‘P.S.’ can be omitted.)• Sample 2:• Please note: this offer is open for only 10 days.

2.2 Formats or Layout of Business English 2.2 Formats or Layout of Business English CorrespondenceCorrespondence

It is advisable to follow the established practice to which the business world has become accustomed when it comes to the choice of format or layout of business letters. Generally speaking, there are four major forms or styles, i.e., full block form ( 完全平头式 ), modified block form ( 改良平头式 ), block form ( 平头式 ), semi-indented form or semi-block form with indented paragraphs ( 混合式 ) respectively. Here we just focus on the most frequently adopted forms in current practice, namely, full block form ( 完全平头式 ), modified block form ( 改良平头式 ).

2.2.1 Full Block Form (2.2.1 Full Block Form ( 完全平头式完全平头式 ))

• The full block form is widely adopted today because of its efficient and timesaving characteristics. Its outstanding feature is that all typing lines, inclusive of letter head (except for previously center-typed letterhead), the date and reference lines, inside name and address, attention line, salutation, subject line, each message paragraph and complimentary close and signature and official position, typed name, enclosure, carbon copy notation (c.c.) and postscript (P.S.), begin from the left-hand margin for the convenience of computer arrangement.

• Below is a format of this practice.

Sample 1:Sample 1:

Sample 2:Sample 2:

• The modified block form is considered as the most attractive among the four forms with the letterhead and subject line center-typed, the reference and date line arranged right, the attention line, the salutation, the body of the letter, the enclosure, carbon copy notation (c.c.) and postscript (P.S.) arranged left as the full block form, and with the complimentary close arranged to the right of center with the signature, typed name and official position aligned beneath it.

• Below is a format of this practice.

2.2.2 Modified Block Form (2.2.2 Modified Block Form ( 改良平头式改良平头式 ))

3 Addressing an Envelope3 Addressing an Envelope

• All letters should be carefully addressed; otherwise they may get lost, delayed or even misplaced in today’s mechanical mail-sorting. To ensure swift, accurate delivery of your letter and at the same time to impress the addressee soundly, it is advisable to address the envelope neatly, correctly and completely. The quickest way possible to antagonize your correspondent is to write or type their name and address illegibly or imprecisely.

• Try to arrange the writing on the envelope so that it looks balanced and inviting to the eye.

• It is customary to use professionally designed business envelopes with the return address printed in the upper left corner of the envelope. In such case, the addresser is supposed to just add his or her name single-spaced above the return address with the block form applied.

• While the addressee’s name and address begins slightly below the middle of the envelope, a little far toward the left, but leaving enough space to get even a long name or address in without crowding. Either full block or indented arrangement can be applied to ensure legibility. Always bear in mind that the addressee’s name and address on the envelope are identical with the inside name and address on the stationary.

• Special notations or directions should be typed or written in the lower left-hand corner of the envelope, such as ‘Private’ ( 私人信 ) , ‘Personal’ ( 个人信 ) , ‘Confidential’ ( 机密信 ), ‘Please forward’ or ‘Attention of’; while mailing instructions, if not previously typed or printed on the envelope, should be typed or written at the upper right-hand corner under the postage stamp or stamps, such as “Per S ／ S ‘Empress of Canada’” ( 由“加拿大皇后”轮寄递 ), “Via Suez” ( 经由苏伊士运河寄递 ), “Via Air Mail” or “Par Aviation” ( 航空 ), “Via Air Mail Registered” ( 航空挂号 ), “Registered” ( 挂号邮件 ), “Express” ( 快递邮件 ), “Parcel Post” ( 包裹邮件 ), “Printed Matter” ( 印刷品 ), “Ordinary Mail” ( 平信 ), “Immediate” or “Urgent” ( 急件 ), “Samples of Merchandise” ( 货物样品 ), “Sample of no commercial value” ( 无商业价值样品 , 即赠品 ).

• Last but not the least, don’t forget to write down the postcode or zip code after the city’s name or state’s initials to facilitate mechanical mail-sorting and to avoid inconveniences.

• The following is the way a properly addressed envelope looks like:

Postal authorities prefer slanting arrangement as it is Postal authorities prefer slanting arrangement as it is easier to read. The following is the way a properly easier to read. The following is the way a properly addressed envelope looks like:addressed envelope looks like:

4 Fax Writing4 Fax Writing

• Fax, the abbreviated form for facsimile, is an extremely convenient communication service in the 21st century with the popularization of easy-handling fax machines installed in most companies, corporations, units and even in some families.

• Apart from the layout, a fax is much like a letter with the remarkable features: It is as convenient as international phone calls and telex, but less costly than the latter; Abbreviations are dispensable in sending faxes and the message can be received unattended during a 24-hour service.

• And the style depends much on the purpose of the fax. They are likely to be informal if sent within companies, among friends or between business partners who have already built up close business relationships. However, the fax of establishing business relationships should never be informal.

Sample:Sample:

Part Three Essential Qualities of Business English Part Three Essential Qualities of Business English

CorrespondenceCorrespondence • A major potion of the business in the world today is

conducted by means of correspondence. Therefore, it is of extreme importance to be able to write attractive, well-groomed business correspondence—letters that represent one’s self and one’s firm to best advantage.

• No smart, forward-minded business person would long tolerate a rude, careless or untidy salesperson or representative. However, floods of letters go out everyday that reflect discredit upon the firm they represent, letters that antagonize as surely as an offensive or ill-mannered individual. Such letters can do more harm than good, for most often they destroy the very confidence and goodwill they seek to establish and maintain.

Great importance, therefore, must be attached to the physical aspects and wording of your business correspondence. As to the former—the physical aspects of your business correspondence, take pride in whatever you send out, just as you take pride in your own appearance. Sign and send out only letters that are well edited, faultlessly neat and inviting as well as pleasing to the eyes, to be short, letters that make a delightful first impression. This can be achieved by means of good quality stationery, neat typing, even spacing, short paragraphs, correct grammar, spelling and punctuation. Yet some may argue that the evolving information technology has badly impaired the traditional communication channel. However, there is no denying that the above-mentioned strategies still remain advisable, desirable and effective in contemporary communication, even when it comes to E-mail communication.

And as to the latter—wording of your business correspondence, the following 9 C’s are the golden guidelines to abide by which help realize an eye-pleasing, well-groomed business correspondence. those 9 C’s are can be cited as: Correctness ( 正确 ), Clearness or Clarity ( 清楚 ), Completeness ( 完整 ), Conciseness ( 简洁 ), Courteousness or Courtesy ( 礼貌 ), Concreteness ( 明确 ), Consideration ( 体谅 ), Conversationalness ( 亲切随和 ) and Constructiveness ( 建设性 ). The first seven are never new to most of us for they have long been adopted and abided by while the last two may seem strange to some of us. Conversationalness ( 亲切随和 ) and Constructiveness ( 建设性 ) are two current guiding principles which best convey the contemporary trends in the wording and tone of modern business correspondence according to western scholars. Conversationalness ( 亲切随和 ) refers to the practice of informal, plain, homespun, everyday English, which is more eye-catching and convincing than tongue-twisting, unfamiliar words, to achieve an entertaining, easygoing and natural style of business correspondence. in other words, write as you would talk or converse; and Constructiveness ( 建设性 ) refers to the practice of optimistic expressions or positive approaches in business correspondence to win over support or to arouse sympathy.

3.1 Courteousness3.1 Courteousness or or Courtesy Courtesy 礼貌礼貌 • Courtesy always pays handsome dividends even in letters. It is

hard to resist someone who is making efforts to be sincere or friendly. Courteousness, as an outstanding feature and guideline of business correspondence, is not mere politeness. To achieve this, a sincere YOU-attitude or subjunctive mood must be adopted as well as the practice of prompt reply.

• 例 1 ：• We have received with many thanks your letter of 20 May, and

we take the pleasure of sending you our latest illustrated catalog. We wish to draw your attention to a special offer which we have made in it. (Polite)

• IMPROVED:• You will be particularly interested in a special offer on page 15

of the latest illustrated catalog enclosed, which you requested in your letter of 20 May. (Courteousness)

• 例 2 ：• I will be glad if you will clear this balance as soon as

possible. (Polite)• IMPROVED:• I would be glad if you would clear this balance as so

on as possible. (Courteousness)• 例 3 ：• This email is to inform you of an important change in o

ur policy concerning transportation.• IMPROVED:• Since you are our important customer, we are writing t

o let you know about our important policy change in transportation.

• (Courteousness: be sure to avoid any word or sentence that interferes the one-to-one relationship of equals.)

• 例 4 ：• You obviously made a mistake by sending us th

e wrong goods.

• IMPROVED:

• Thank you for your prompt delivery. However, the goods that reached us were not the ones we ordered.

• (Courteousness: be sure not to accuse your reader of a deliberate error or to show resentment at having to write or explain a situation.)

3.2 Consideration3.2 Consideration 体谅体谅

To achieve Consideration, more stress must be imposed upon YOU-attitude rather than WE-attitude or I-attitude. Another approach is to bear customer’s requests, needs, desires, complaints as well as their feelings in mind and plan the best or moat appropriate way to render the message, most often by way of the positive approach instead of the negative one. Try not to take yourself or your position so seriously that your letter or reply sound stilted, officious or superior; try to make others feel how much they know—not how little; how important they are — not how unimportant; try to make others convinced that you are making painstaking efforts to help them— not yourself.

• 例 1 ：• We appreciate your approval and instruction to the Maintenanc

e Office to do the repairs. (WE-attitude)• IMPROVED:• Your approval and instruction to the Maintenance Office to do t

he repairs will be highly appreciated. (YOU-attitude)• 例 2:• We won’t be able to send you the samples this month. (Nega

tive)• IMPROVED:• We will send you the samples next month. (Positive)• 例 3 ：• We regret that you closed your account with us a week ago. (W

E-attitude, Negative)• IMPROVED:• You closed your account with us a week ago. Whatever the rea

son, we are pleased to have played some small part in your program. You are cordially invited to use other services as occasion may require. (YOU-attitude, Positive)

• 例 4 ：• The store received your credit application form

on time, but it was filled out incorrectly. As the form indicates, your signature should be written on the bottom of both pages, but you neglected to do this. Your form is returned to you for proper signing.

• IMPROVED:• Thank you for returning your credit application f

orm so promptly. However, we do need your signature on both pages. Just sign on the second page at the bottom and return it. We will then be glad to consider your application.

3.3 Completeness 3.3 Completeness 完整完整

• It is essential to check your letter carefully, making sure that all necessary information has already been expressed or mentioned before sealing or sending it.

• 例 1 ：• Mangers of all departments will meet at 9:30 on Monday.• IMPROVED:• Mangers of all departments will meet at 9:30 on Monday, May 2

1, in Conference Room 8.• （ Completeness: be sure always to give exact facts, detail

s, explanations, and examples. ）• 例 2 ：• We have received your order of a large volume.• IMPROVED:• We have received your order up to US ＄ 567,899.• （ Completeness: be sure to use specific words rather than

general one. ）

3.4 Clarity 3.4 Clarity 清楚清楚

Clarity is the first requirement of an effective letter. The most effective way to accomplish this goal is to follow those guidelines: try appropriate words in correct sentence structures, and avoid choosing words with unclear meanings or miscellaneous understandings; use short, crisp sentences instead of ambiguous ones; paragraph properly and logically and avoid long, involved paragraphs; finish with one point before moving to another. The following are specific ways to facilitate convey clear messages:

• 1 Choice of words and expressions: short, familiar and conversational ones.

• • Short words Complicated words• after subsequent• issue promulgate• large substantial• show disclose• … …• Familiar Technical jargons & foreign phrases• daily per diem• the present position status quo• well acquainted au fait• … …

• Conversational Complicated phrases& commercial jargons

• According to as per• a draft for $1000 a draft in the amount of $1000• Because due to the fact that• Before prior to• Concerning on the question of• Enclosed enclosed herewith• If in the event of• Now at this time• Please tell us please be good enough to advise us• Thank you for your letter we acknowledged with thanks for your le

tter• We can deliver… we are in a position to deliver…• We enclose enclosed please find• We have received your letter we are in receipt of your letter• Your letter your favor• … …

• 例 1 ：• Those who work rapidly get ill in these conditions. (Ambiguous)• IMPROVED:• Those who work in these conditions rapidly get ill. (Clear)

• 例 2 ：• We shall be able to supply 50 cartons of T-shirts only.• IMPROVED:• We shall be able to supply 50 cartons only of T-shirts.

• 例 3 ：• We sent you 3 samples yesterday of the goods which you requested in yo

ur letter of May 15 by air.• IMPROVED:• We sent you, by air, 3 samples of the goods which you requested in your l

etter of May 15 yesterday.• SUGGESTION: to avoid ambiguity in the above sentences, the effective wa

y is to place closely connected parts of a sentence next to each other.

2 Use short, crisp sentences or sentence 2 Use short, crisp sentences or sentence structure instead of ambiguous ones.structure instead of ambiguous ones.

• 例 4 ：• We shall take a firm line with the firm.• IMPROVED:• We shall take a strong line with the firm.• 例 5 ：• As to the steamers sailing from Shanghai to San Francisco, we have bimon

thly direct services.• Bimonthly is a word with different meanings: twice a month, or once two mo

nths. Therefore, the above sentence might be rather puzzling or ambiguous to readers.

• IMPROVED:• A. We have two direct sailings every month from Shanghai to San Francisc

o. （每月两次直达船）• B. We have semimonthly direct sailing from Shanghai to San Francisco.

（每半月一次直达船）• C. We have a direct sailing from Shanghai to San Francisco every two mon

ths. （每两个月一次直达船）• SUGGESTION: to rid of ambiguity in the above sentences, the effective way

is to avoid repeating or using in the (same) sentence an important word with different meanings. Parallel structure helps promote clarity.

• e.g.:• Transport charges vary with weight of package and distance of transmiss

ion.

3 Paragraph properly and logically, and avoid long, 3 Paragraph properly and logically, and avoid long, involved paragraphs; finish with one point before involved paragraphs; finish with one point before moving to another.moving to another.• Contemporary trend of business letter writing favors fairly condensed paragr

aph, which help present ideas clearly and easy to follow.• • 例 1 ：• In view of the abovementioned circumstances, it gives us pleasure in informi

ng you that we are ready to place a formal order for 200 rolls of your roof insulation, at the price of ￡ 450 per roll. Meanwhile, we would like to add that it is our wish to become regular customers and to repeat this order many times in the years ahead.

• IMPROVED:• We therefore place a formal order for:• 200 rolls of your roof insulation• ￡ 450 per roll• We hope to become regular customers and to repeat this order many times i

n the future.

• e.g.:• Three reasons justify moving from the old sites. First, building rock in the ol

d area is questionable. Second, distant from the old site to major consumption area makes transportation costs high. Third, obsolescence of much of the equipment at the old plant makes this an ideal time for relocation.

• 例 1 ：• Through years of business dealing, our company has formed the practice th

at shirts which are exported to European countries be packed either in bales lined with polythene, each containing 50 pieces in one pattern or in plastic-lined, water-proof cartons, reinforced with metal straps.

• IMPROVED:• Through years of business dealing, our company has formed the following t

wo packing practices for shirts exported to European countries. First, pack them in bales lined with polythene, each containing 50 pieces in one pattern. Second, pack them in plastic-lined, water-proof cartons, reinforced with metal straps.

• However, transition words or connectives must not be used to excess; otherwise they give the letter a fussy flavor.

4 The skillful use of transition words or connectives 4 The skillful use of transition words or connectives facilitates the clear and logical organization of facilitates the clear and logical organization of paragraphs.paragraphs.

• 例 2 ：• ① Is there any way in which you can assist us with finance? ②

Our hire purchase customers tend to spread payments over 2 or 3 years. Our expansion is being held up at present by a lack ③of finance. What would be the terms and arrangements if we ④ask you to assist us? We are an expanding electronic supply ⑤store selling to retailers and also to ordinary customers on hire purchase terms.

• IMPROVED:• ⑤We are an expanding electronic supply store selling to retailer

s and also to ordinary customers on hire purchase terms. Our ③expansion is being held up at present by a lack of finance. Th②e difficulty is that our hire purchase customers tend to spread payments over 2 or 3 years. Is there any way in which you ca①n assist us with finance? What would be the terms and arran④gements if we ask you to assist us?

• The skillful rearrangement of ideas or sentence order from the original to promotes clarity and logical or①②③④⑤ ⑤③②①④ganization.

Conciseness means expressing much information in the fewest possible words, without losing clarity, completeness or courtesy. It is achieved by omitting trite or padded expressions, avoiding unnecessary repetition and wordy expressions, and including only relevant facts by replacing a phrase with a word, by replacing a sentence with a phrase, by replacing a clause with words or a phrase. Moreover, proper and flexible subject line abbreviates the opening sentence of a letter and helps accomplish conciseness.

3.5 Conciseness 3.5 Conciseness 简洁简洁

1 To omit trite or padded expressions (NOTE: the 1 To omit trite or padded expressions (NOTE: the boldface parts in the following sentences)boldface parts in the following sentences)

• 例 1 ：• It should be noted that this is the best price we

can offer.• For your information we enclose our latest illus

trated catalog of machine tools.• Pleased be advised that we have received your

invoice of the captioned goods.• IMPROVED:• This is the best price we can offer.• We enclose our latest illustrated catalog of mach

ine tools.• We have received your invoice of the captioned

good.

2 To avoid unnecessary repetition and wordy 2 To avoid unnecessary repetition and wordy expressionsexpressions

• 例 1 ：• Will you ship us any time during the month of N

ovember, or even October if you are rushed, for October would suit us just as well?

• IMPROVED:• Please ship us by the end of October.• 例 2 ：• We have begun to export our machine tools to

countries abroad.• IMPROVED:• We have begun to export our machine tools.

3 To replace a phrase with a word3 To replace a phrase with a word

• 例 1 ： • We wish to acknowledge receipt of your favor dated August 8, 2008.• IMPROVED:• We appreciate your letter dated August 8, 2008.

• 例 2 ：• Please be good enough to advise us your earliest shipment date.

• IMPROVED:• Please tell us your earliest shipment date.

• 例 3 ：• In the event that you speak to Mr. Wood in regard to production, ask him t

o give consideration to the delivery schedule. • IMPROVED:• If you speak to Mr. Wood about production, ask him to consider the deliver

y schedule. • SUGGESTION: For more information, please refer to Clarity.

4 To replace a sentence with a phrase4 To replace a sentence with a phrase

• 例 1 ：• Please see to it that an enquiry is conducted to

determine the reason.

• IMPROVED:

• Please find out the reason.

5 To replace a clause with words or a phrase5 To replace a clause with words or a phrase

• 例 1 ：• We have duly received your remittance dated March 1

1, for which please accept our thanks.• IMPROVED:• Thank you for your remittance dated March 11.

• 例 2 ：• We require furniture which is of the American style.• IMPROVED:• We require American style furniture.

6 Proper and flexible subject line abbreviates the 6 Proper and flexible subject line abbreviates the opening sentence of a letter and helps accomplish opening sentence of a letter and helps accomplish conciseness and concreteness as well.conciseness and concreteness as well.

• Dear Sirs,

• Sub: Children’s Leather Shoes

• We have received your letter of March 12, 2003 and the enclosure requesting quotes for the captioned shoes.

• As requested, we are submitting our quotation in triplicate and are anxious for your placing your orders with us as early as possible because we have a large backlog.

• We await your decision.

• Yours faithfully,• ×××

3.6 Concreteness 3.6 Concreteness 具体具体

• Concreteness means to convey specific, definite, vivid or even detailed message in the sentence or paragraph.

• 例 1 ：• TENSUN858L 8-Brand Stereo Radio Cassette Recorder is of full functions. • IMPROVED:• TENSUN858L 8-Brand Stereo Radio Cassette Recorder can deliver superb

FM/ MW/ LW/SW1/SW2/ SW3/ SW4/TV Stereo brand reception. Full auto-stop and automatic quick program research.

• 例 2 ：• Various aspects of this equipment make it a good choice.• IMPROVED:• This machine is a good choice because it is more compact and less expen

sive than any other one on the market.• 例 3 ：• We have drawn on you as usual under your L/C.• IMPROVED:• We have drawn on you our sight draft No. 128 for the Invoice amount, U

S ＄ 128.00, under your L/C No.220 of the Bank of China.

3.7 Correctness 3.7 Correctness 正确正确 • Correctness refers not only to correct data, accurate statement

s and clear opinions, but to correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, document format, and accurate reliable figures as well. To accomplish this, the following grammatical errors must be eliminated from business correspondence.

• 1 Grammatical errors in the use of pronouns• 例 1 ：• ABC Company’s prices of the curtain cloth are 3-4% lower than

us.• IMPROVED:• ABC Company’s prices of the curtain cloth are 3-4% lower than

ours.• 例 2 ：• Our competitors in Asia were more successful than ours. • IMPROVED:• Our competitors in Asia were more successful than us.

• 例 1 ：• Neither of the offers are acceptable.

• IMPROVED:

• Neither of the offers is acceptable.

• 例 2 ：• It is one of the latest wide screen monitors that

was delivered last month.

• IMPROVED:

• It is one of the latest wide screen monitors that were delivered last month.

2 Grammatical errors in the use of verbs, 2 Grammatical errors in the use of verbs, especially “especially “bebe””

3 Grammatical errors in the use of adverbs3 Grammatical errors in the use of adverbs

• 例 1 ：• We had quite a successful conference.• IMPROVED:• We had a quite successful conference.

4 Grammatical errors in the use of conjunctions例 1 ：He not only built houses, but also flats.

IMPROVED:He built not only houses, but also flats.

5 Grammatical errors in participles5 Grammatical errors in participles

• 例 1 ：• While studying the work report on the marketing of Yo

ungor suits, the chairman of the board came in. • IMPROVED:• While I was studying the work report on the marketing

of Youngor suits, the chairman of the board came in. • 例 2 ：• Depositing money with us, the Postal Savings Bank

of China can pay you high dividends. • IMPROVED:• Depositing money with us, you earn high dividends.

• Close attention should be paid to names of article, transportation tools or documents, specifications, quantity, figures, units, or even capital letters. e.g.:

• Accurate numbers, figures or dates:• 10% up to 15% both inclusive• On or after February 23, 2009• From the 1st through 20th of March both inclusive• For 15 days exclusive of the of dispatch• US ＄ 128.00 (say US Dollars One Hundred and Twenty-eight only) or (US

Dollars One Hundred and Twenty-eight only)• 2'8 ＂ ×3'×4⅓ ＂ (two feet eight inches wide, three feet long, and four inches

and one third thick (high) )• ⅔ ＂ pipe (pipe measuring ⅔ inch)• 16 S /1 （表示 16 支单纱）• 32 S /2 （表示 32 支双股纱）• 45S×45S/108×58 或者 45S×45S/108×58 （表示经纱、纬纱的纱线支数（ ya

rn count ）分别是 45 支，经向密度为 108 根 / 英寸、纬向密度为 58 根 / 英寸。）

• 45S+40D （ spandex ） ×45S+40D （ spandex ） /108×58 （表示经向、纬向弹力都为 40 的“双弹”织物或面料。）

• 45S×45S/108×58 59/60 ＂（表示面料的有效宽度——幅宽为 59 ～ 60 英寸。面料的幅宽一般标记在其密度后面。）

Business English correspondence has its special capital Business English correspondence has its special capital letter writing regulations besides the traditional rules. Close letter writing regulations besides the traditional rules. Close attention should be paid to the following circumstances:attention should be paid to the following circumstances:• 1 East, West, North and South, when used for districts or areas but not

for orientations should be capitalized: • South-East Asia• North America• West Europe• Cotton is the principal crop in the South; it is also grown extensively in the S

outhwest and in the Southern California. 棉花是南部各州的重要作物，西南各州和加利福尼亚南部也广泛种植。

• 2 The name and brand of a certain commodity 商品名称• “Three Deer” Milk Powder• “Great Wall” Electric Fan • Chinese Cotton Piece Goods• We have seen your advertisement in the “Textile World” and should be glad

if you would send us patterns of Ladies’ Woolens with your best terms. • 我们看到你们在《织物界》杂志上的广告，请寄妇女用毛织物样本并告最优

惠的价格条件。

3 The name of documents3 The name of documents 文件名称文件名称

• Price List • Letter Of Credit or L/C• Catalog L-888• Order No. 223• We have quoted our best terms on the enclosed Price

List. 我们已随函寄送价目表报最优惠价格条件。

• 4 The name of transportation tools 船名• the S.S. “Lucky Princess” (S.S.: steamer ship)• the m.v. “Silver Moonlight” (m.v.: merchant vessel)• We have shipped the goods by the m.v. “London Mar

u” of OSK. 货已由大阪轮船公司的“伦敦丸”轮装运。

• 5 The shorten form of a company, organization or city 公司，团体，城市名称省略时大写

• The Company will pay you $100 annuity. 该公司将付给你年金 100 美圆。

• 6 Titles or positions 职务名称• There is enclosed a letter from Mr. H. A. Anders

on, President, National City Bank of New York.

• 同函俯上花旗银行行长安得逊先生所写书信一封。

3.8 Conversationalness 3.8 Conversationalness 亲切随和亲切随和

As to Conversationalness in Business English correspondence, it means to write naturally or in other words, to just write as you speak. As known to all, people always talk best when they don’t stop to think about what to say next. And the same is true to business letter writing. The best letters are lively, smooth-flowing “talk”, just like effortless conversation, put down on paper without too much thought to the actual mechanics of writing. It is the letter written without the distressing “labor pains” of construction, and sounds most natural and sincere. The more closely your letter follows your own characteristic patter, the more engagingly it reflects the color and warmth of your personality.

• 例 1 ：• Tired of the paper jamming in your copier? Guess you don’t have the c

opier product.• 译文：复印机总是夹纸让你厌烦不已吧？一猜就知道你没有使用 ××× 复印机。• 这是一封关于某复印机产品的促销信，使用口语化表达，以朋友的口吻与读

者或者潜在客户拉近关系。

• 例 2 ：• Do you have what it takes to be a wine-tasting connoisseur? Our free Taster

Talent Test can help you. • 译文：你知道如何成为一名品酒行家吗？我们开办的“品尝师技能免费测

试”能帮助你。

• 例 3 ：• Blue Sky Hotel is a magnificent resort center that offers everything any

meeting goers could ask for —outstanding cuisine, big name entertainers, elegant nearby shopping malls, all sports, including a championship golf course and tennis court.

• 译文：蓝天大酒店是理想的渡假胜地。在这儿与会者的各种服务要求都可以得到满足。我们竭诚为你提供独具特色的美食，知名艺人的演艺，优雅便捷的购物环境，齐备的体育设施（包括一个能进行大型赛事的高尔夫球场和网球场）。

3.9 Constructiveness 3.9 Constructiveness 建设性建设性• Constructiveness refers to the practice of optimistic expressions or positive

approaches in business correspondence to win over support or to arouse sympathy.

• 例 1 ：• However, your counteroffer is much lower than our bottom line and it is imp

ossible for us to offer the price you have changed. Even though, we would still like to negotiate with the factory for a reasonable price that can be accepted by us both.

• We are going to inform you a final price tomorrow. Please let us know by phone whether it would be fine to ship 300 cases in May and June respectively so that we can have a further negotiation. But thank you for your interest in our goods.

• 通过上文，我们注意到原文直接指出按照对方要求降低价格是难以接受的（ it is impossible for us to offer the price you have charged ），不仅没有遵循礼貌原则，而且极易就此断掉两家的贸易往来。可是原信作者又并不希望这样的不利局面出现，并且愿意采取措施以期达成交易（ we would still like to negotiate with the factory for a reasonable price that can be accepted by us both. We are going to inform you a final price tomorrow. ）。原信作者假托与第三方协商而拒绝对方的做法是国际贸易中的惯常策略，目的是让自己进退有余。但是这个行文可以看出原信作者并不真正希望就此结束双方的贸易关系。因此不妨改变成积极、建设性策略。

• IMPROVED:• Thank you for your interest in our goods. …• We would still like to negotiate with the factory for a reasonable

price that can be accepted by us both. We are going to inform you a final price tomorrow. Your counteroffer, however, is much lower than our bottom line and it is difficult for us to offer the price you have charged.

• Please let us know by phone whether it would be fine to ship 300 cases in May and June respectively so that we can have a further negotiation.

• 例 2 ：• We hope that you will find a job elsewhere which is more s

uitable for you. If the need arises before the end of March, we will be glad to release you immediately.

• 译文：我们希望你能另谋高就。如果你欲在 3 月底离开，我们将乐于遂你心愿。

• 上句是一封辞退信，但是字里行间没有一个负面词汇，这是建设性表达策略的典范。

• Simply learning the 9 C’s does not make you a skilled business writer. To master the 9 C’s or to be able to write business messages containing all these characteristics, you must study business writing techniques or skills and practice them. Needless to say, good English is the important foundation of the writing skills we discuss. The following are the basic business writing techniques or skills:

• 1. Create an appropriate tone; • 2. Cultivate the “You” attitude; • 3 Consider the level of diction; • 4. Select the appropriate writing style; • 5. Outline and organize the material before writing.

SummarySummary

• Directions: Please correct the mistakes in the following letter and separate the message into two paragraphs.

• ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES CO.• P. O. Box 3399

• XXXX, XXX• 22th January 200...

• The Manager• Messrs. Clarke &. Smith Co. Ltd.• 68 High Street• London EC 4• England

• Dear Sir:• We thank your letter of 17th January, asking us details and prices of our electric

heaters. We are pleasure in enclosing our latest price list and catalogue, together with Model X – 4’s details. Please do not reluctant to write when you require further information, which shall always have our best attention.

• Yours faithfully,• Electrical Appliances Co. Ltd

• Manager

ExerciseExercise

• Answer:Answer:• ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES CO.

• P. O. Box 3399• XXXX, XXX

• 22nd January 200...• The Manager• Messrs. Clarke &. Smith Co. Ltd.• 68 High Street• London EC 4• England

• Dear Sir:• Thanks for your letter of 17th January, asking us for details and prices

of our electric heaters. Enclosed please find our latest price list and catalogue, together with Model X – 4’s details.

• Please do not be reluctant to write when you require further information, which shall always have our best attention.

• • Yours faithfully,• Electrical Appliances Co. Ltd• Manager

• Directions: Improve the following according to the 9C’s principle. 1 In the event that we cannot meet the deadline, we will refund your money. 2 We are reluctant to commit to that date due to the fact that our plant closes for vac

ation July 4—11. 3 It is not within our power to obtain the letter he has in his possession. 4 We will write to you at an early date. 5 We will furnish all the required documents. 6 Consequent upon the changes made, you will be in charge of the financial office. 7 We are in receipt of your remittance in the sum of US $ 7890. 8 We hope to receive your catalogue by return mail. Thanking in advance. 9 We have duly received your order No. 68 dated March 5, for which please accept

our thanks.10 We require full-automatic washing machine which is of the new type.11 We allow 3 percent discount for cash payment.12 The L/C must reach us for arranging shipment not later than 18 October.13 They bought a bicycle in Beijing in a small shop which costs ＄ 35.00.14 He was warned not to drink water even in a restaurant which had not been boiled.15 Please send me your catalogs on clothes.16 Mangers of all departments will meet at 9:30 on Monday.17 We have received your order of a large volume.18 This email is to inform you of an important change in our policy concerning transportation. 19 You obviously made a mistake by sending us the wrong goods.

• Answer:

1 If we cannot meet the deadline, we will refund your money. Conciseness: strike out extra words and omit words that

repeat. Never use several words when you can express the same idea with a single word.

2 We are reluctant to commit to that date because our plant closes for vacation July 4 -- 11.

Conciseness: be sure to use simpler structure to save reader’s time. Use a word instead of a phrase and a phrase instead of a clause for the same thing.

3 We are unable to obtain the letter he has in his possession.4 We will write to you soon.5 We will give/provide all the required documents. Clarity: jargon such as “furnish” should be avoided in

business writing.6 As a result of the changes made, you will be in charge of the

financial office. Clarity: be sure to choose short, simple words rather than

long, complicated words.

7 We have received your remittance of US $ 7890.

8 We hope to receive your catalogue soon.

9 Thank you for your order No. 68 dated March 5.

Conciseness: be sure to get to the heart of the message immediately and stick to the point.

10 We require new-type full-automatic washing machine. (Conciseness)

11 You earn 3 percent discount when you pay cash. (YOU-attitude, Positive)

12 The L/C must reach us not later than 18 October for arranging shipment. (Clarity)

13 They bought a bicycle for ＄ 35.00 in a small shop in Beijing. (Clarity)

• 14 He was warned not to drink water which had not been boiled even in a restaurant. (Clarity)

• 15 Please send me your catalogs on suits. We are especially interested in suits for young men.

• Clarity: a large company may have several catalogs concerning different kinds of clothes and is not likely to send all of them.

• 16 Mangers of all departments will meet at 9:30 on Monday, May 21, in Conference Room 8.

• Completeness: be sure always to give exact facts, details, explanations, and examples.

• 17 We have received your order up to US ＄ 567,899.• Completeness: be sure to use specific words rather than general

one.• 18 Since you are our important customer, we are writing to let you kn

ow about our important policy change in transportation.• Courteousness: be sure to avoid any word or sentence that inter

feres the one-to-one relationship of equals.• 19 Thank you for your prompt delivery. However, the goods that reac

hed us were not the ones we ordered.• Courteousness: be sure not to accuse your reader of a deliberat

e error or to show resentment at having to write or explain a situation.

20 Improve the following letter according to 20 Improve the following letter according to Constructiveness principleConstructiveness principle::

• Dear Sirs,• In reply to letter of March 20, 2008, we regret to say that

your prices are out of line with the current market level. Information here shows that the makes offered by you can be obtained from other sources at prices much lower than yours. Moreover, the market is declining.

• In this case, it is it is impossible for us to accept your price even though you can supply full-range famous brand athletic shoes. If you were prepared to reduce your limit by, say 6%, we might come to terms.

• It is true that competitive prices will often result in a high market share with great profit in the future. We wish you to consider this factor.

• We await your prompt reply.

• Yours sincerely,

• IMPROVED:• Dear Sirs,• We are pleased to receive your offer of March 20, 2008 and

an illustrated catalog.• In reply, we might come to terms if you were prepared to

reduce your limit by 6%. The prices you quoted us seem out of line with the current market level. Information here shows that the makes you offered can be purchased from other sources at much lower prices.

• Moreover, the market is declining, but competitive prices will often result in a high market share with great profit in the future.

• It is therefore far from likely to persuade our customers to accept your price even though you can supply full-range famous brand athletic shoes from stock.

• We await your favorite reply.• Yours sincerely,

• Dear Sirs,• Sub: Children’s Leather Shoes

• We have received your letter of March 12, 2003 and the enclosure requesting quotes for the captioned shoes.

• As requested, we are submitting our quotation in triplicate and are anxious for your placing your orders with us as early as possible because we have a large backlog.

• We await your decision.• Yours

faithfully,

Directions: Read the following letter and tell what is Directions: Read the following letter and tell what is used by the writer to achieve conciseness and used by the writer to achieve conciseness and correctness.correctness.

• Analysis:• In order to achieve conciseness and

correctness, the writer writes a subject line which abbreviates the opening sentence of a letter and helps accomplish conciseness.

• As you can see, the lined part in the above letter is a subject line and it’s a common practice to get it underlined to draw the correspondent’s attention. From the subject line we can conclude that the recipient of the letter has sent a letter to the writer to require a quotation for the captioned goods. She will be very careful with this reply as the subject line tells it is about her previous inquiry letter.

Directions: Read the following letter and Directions: Read the following letter and analyze it according to the 9C’s principle.analyze it according to the 9C’s principle.