Building Strong Families. What is the definition of FAMILY? 2 or more adults related by blood, marriage, or affiliation who cooperate economically,

Building Strong Building Strong FamiliesFamilies

What is the definition What is the definition of FAMILY?of FAMILY?

2 or more adults related by blood, 2 or more adults related by blood, marriage, or affiliation who cooperate marriage, or affiliation who cooperate economically, share a common dwelling economically, share a common dwelling place and rear childrenplace and rear children

Family StructureFamily Structure

Nuclear:Nuclear: Mother, Father, Child Mother, Father, Child Single Parent:Single Parent: Mother or Father and Mother or Father and

childchild Blended:Blended: Single parent marries another Single parent marries another

person who may or may not have person who may or may not have childrenchildren

Extended:Extended: Parent or parents, one Parent or parents, one child at least and relativeschild at least and relatives

Forming traditionsForming traditions Handling family conflictHandling family conflict Feel acceptedFeel accepted Adults and children learn and growAdults and children learn and grow Sense of belongingSense of belonging Emotional supportEmotional support SecuritySecurity Spend time togetherSpend time together Share responsibilitiesShare responsibilities Work to resolve differencesWork to resolve differences They listen to each otherThey listen to each other Share goals and values and show appreciationShare goals and values and show appreciation

Building Strong FamiliesBuilding Strong Families

Family Placement ActivityFamily Placement Activity• Students who are:Students who are:

• The oldest child go to the #1 corner.The oldest child go to the #1 corner.

• The youngest child go to the #2 corner.The youngest child go to the #2 corner.

• The middle child go to the #3 corner.The middle child go to the #3 corner.

• The only child go to the #4 corner.The only child go to the #4 corner.

What is great about your placement?What is great about your placement?

What is not so great?What is not so great?

Birth OrderBirth Order• The order in which children are born into a family The order in which children are born into a family

influences the development of the children.influences the development of the children.

• Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ inexperience in raising children.inexperience in raising children.

• Second or third children are generally treated in a Second or third children are generally treated in a more relaxed way by the parents.more relaxed way by the parents.

• Youngest children often have a more difficult time in Youngest children often have a more difficult time in making the transition to adulthoodmaking the transition to adulthood..

Oldest ChildOldest Child

Usually set up as an example to the other Usually set up as an example to the other children.children.

Treated more like an adult by his/her parents.Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. A high achiever.A high achiever. Given and accepts more responsibility than Given and accepts more responsibility than

the other children.the other children. Usually college-bound.Usually college-bound. Independent.Independent. Affectionate.Affectionate.

Middle ChildMiddle Child

• May work extra-hard to get May work extra-hard to get recognition.recognition.

• Is usually a peacemaker.Is usually a peacemaker.

• Is somewhat average in Is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is an all-schoolwork, but is an all-around good student.around good student.

• Is usually a calm, even-Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.tempered adult.

Youngest ChildYoungest Child• Gets a lot of attention, Gets a lot of attention,

along with a lot of bossing.along with a lot of bossing.

• May be spoiled.May be spoiled.

• Usually matures quickly.Usually matures quickly.

• May be undisciplined and May be undisciplined and irresponsible.irresponsible.

• Is easy-going about Is easy-going about school.school.

• Likes to associate with Likes to associate with someone who takes someone who takes charge of situations.charge of situations.

Parenting StylesParenting Styles

AUTHORITARIANAUTHORITARIAN (limits without Freedom) (limits without Freedom)Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.Children are told what to do, how to do it,and where to do it, and when to do it.

PERMISSIVEPERMISSIVE (Freedom without limits) (Freedom without limits)Parents allow their children to do their own thing.Non-controlling, non-demandingChildren walk all over their parents

DEMOCRATICDEMOCRATIC (Freedom within limits) (Freedom within limits)freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of allParents set limits and enforce rules.They are willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.Parents are loving, consistent, and demanding.

Guiding Behavior…..Guiding Behavior…..

Be sure you have their attentionBe sure you have their attention Be politeBe polite Use positive statementsUse positive statements Use words they can understandUse words they can understand Begin with action verbBegin with action verb Give limited directions at a timeGive limited directions at a time Be clearBe clear Give praise and loveGive praise and love Be a good role modelBe a good role model Set limitsSet limits Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement

PunishmentPunishment

Must be appropriate and effectiveMust be appropriate and effective Role of warnings Role of warnings Negative reinforcementNegative reinforcement

Natural consequencesNatural consequences Logical consequencesLogical consequences Loss of privilegesLoss of privileges Time outTime out

What doesn’t work?What doesn’t work?

BribingBribing Promising to behavePromising to behave Shouting / YellingShouting / Yelling Shaming / BelittlingShaming / Belittling Threatening to withhold loveThreatening to withhold love Exaggerating the consequencesExaggerating the consequences

ConsistencyConsistency

Consistent guidance is keyConsistent guidance is key Develops confidence, trust and Develops confidence, trust and

expectationsexpectations