1 Forgiveness,Change, and Transforma3on Skills for Naviga3ng the Time Between No Longer and Not Yet Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. November 3, 2008 Change is the Only Constant Remember. This is a trip in the unknown. We don’t now where we’re going, or if we do, we’re on the wrong road. ‐Father Thomas Kea3ng The Wisdom of Change You can’t change the past by defini3on. You can’t change what’s happening now, because the condi3ons leading to it have already ripened. You can change the future by leQng stress provide the feedback you need to create a more skillful life. Science Speaks of BuRerflies The GiUs of Unwanted Change I am thankful that thorns have roses. ‐Alphonse Karr Three Phases of Transforma3on in Rites of Passage Separa3on from the known: Death of the ego. The Liminal Stage: Dwelling in the place between no longer and not yet. The Return: Bringing back wisdom for all.
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TheGuestHouse‐RumiThis being human is a guest house Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
“The practice of forgiveness is never easy, because it is always a courageous, defiant act against our instincts of hatred and revenge, and against the odds of getting hurt again.”
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms… I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.