Emanuel Congregation B’nai Mitzvah Handbook Revised: 7.15.15
Dec 08, 2015
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
The Mitzvah of Tzedakah .................................................................................................................1
Student Preparation .........................................................................................................................2
Required Shabbat Services Attendance
Tutoring by the Cantor and Rabbi
Friday Evening Service
Speech
Tallit/Kippah
Torah Study
Administrative Planning for Parents ................................................................................................3
Orientation Meetings
B’nai Mitzvah Fees and Security Cost
Emanuel Bulletin
Rehearsal
Decorations for the Bima
Administrative Planning: Friday Evening .......................................................................................3-4
Friday Shabbat dinner
Family Honors on Friday Evening
Oneg Shabbat
Administrative Planning: Shabbat Morning ..................................................................................5-6
Family Honors on Shabbat Morning
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Program
Shabbat Morning Kiddush Following Service
Invitations
Transportation and Parking
Photography and Recording
Administrative Planning: Celebration at Emanuel .......................................................................6-8
Facilities Information – General
Room Rental for Luncheons/Dinners
Additional Fee for Security Services
Community Hall Rental
Rental of WRJ China
Music
Food: Kitchen and Refrigerators
Liability
Alcohol/Smoking
Supervision
Washrooms
Frequently Asked Questions ...........................................................................................................9
Contact Information .........................................................................................................................10
Attachments and Forms
Honors ........................................................................................................................A
Review Sheet for Parents .........................................................................................B
Parent Check List ......................................................................................................C
Financial Worksheet .................................................................................................D
Student Signature Page ...........................................................................................E
Parent Signature Page .............................................................................................F
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EMANUEL CONGREGATION BAR/BAT MITZVAH RITUAL INFORMATION
‘Mazel Tov’ on the occasion of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah! It is our hope that
Emanuel Congregation will continue to share in your family’s happy life cycle events.
Listed below are items that will need your attention in the months and weeks before
this milestone event in your child's life. If you have any questions or if we can be of
assistance to you, please feel free to contact us at (773) 561-5173.
Michael R. Zedek, Senior Rabbi, Michelle Drucker Friedman, Congregational Cantor,
Rabbi Toby H. Manewith, Director of Education, Elizabeth Cohen, Synagogue Director
WHAT IS A BAR/BAT MITZVAH?
Bar or Bat Mitzvah is what a young person becomes by simply becoming thirteen. As Rabbi Jeffrey
Salkin explains in Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar
or Bat Mitzvah, “It is not an event or a ceremony. It is not a verb, as in ‘The rabbi bar mitzvahed my son.’
Bar or Bat Mitzvah literally translates as ‘son or daughter of the commandment.’ What it really means is
‘old enough to be responsible for mitzvot.’ Mitzvot are the commandments that a Jew observes in
order not only to live a Jewish life, but also to sanctify life.” At Emanuel we strive to make sure our
students understand this is the beginning of their journey towards being an engaged member of the
Jewish community, and the journey continues by participation in the high school Stepping Stones
program and Confirmation. Think about and talk to your child about what Bar/Bat Mitzvah means to
you and how it relates to the rest of your life. You may find helpful the books listed below:
Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar or Bat
Mitzvah by Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
Bar and Bat Mitzvah Mitzvah Book by Danny Siegel
Bar and Bat Mitzvah Book: Joyful Ceremonies & Celebrations for Today’s Families by Linda Burghardt
THE MITZVAH OF TZEDAKAH
STUDENT PROJECT Part of Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation includes each student engaging in a mitzvah project. The project should
be one the student is interested in pursuing, and can be undertaken individually, or with family or friends.
Ideally, the project involves the student investigating an issue or problem, and then identifying and/or initiating
an effort to address that problem. The issue can be local, national or global in scope, and the Mitzvah Project
may include a new or individual response, or participating in an established program or effort. Speak with the
Cantor or Rabbi for guidance or ideas about the project. Most Bar/Bat Mitzvahs also pledge a small portion of
the monetary gifts they receive as tzedakah to a charity or cause of their choice.
OPPORTUNITY FOR FAMILY GIFT A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a wonderful life cycle event and religious celebration. It is a true simcha for the family and
the Emanuel community. Our tradition tells us the generosity of Tzedakah is the appropriate way to
commemorate the occasion, and signal to the Congregation a deep appreciation for the efforts of the clergy,
lay leadership and community. The Congregation asks that you make a donation or pledge to Emanuel in
honor of (or as part of) your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah and in so doing demonstrate an interest and willingness to
take part in the responsibility (Mitzvah) of the continuity of our people. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation and
services recognize and demonstrate your child’s assumption of an independent role within Emanuel and in the
greater Jewish community. Likewise, this is a timely and important opportunity for the parents to participate in
the Mitzvah of Tzedakah. A financial contribution by the parents to Emanuel helps ensure the current and future
well-being of our Congregation which has nurtured your child in his or her journey, and gladly celebrates this
simcha with you and your entire family. A donation or pledge equal to 13% of the anticipated costs of the
entire event is suggested
.
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STUDENT PREPARATION
SHABBAT SERVICE ATTENDANCE
Your child must attend a minimum of three Shabbat morning services and two Friday night services at
Emanuel (preferably a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service) in the year preceding the date of your child’s Bar/Bat
Mitzvah. A form for your child to complete and submit is attached. The clergy strongly urge you to
attend those services with them, so that you are familiar with the structure of the service and the role of
the family members. Your child will have spent a great deal of time and effort preparing, and your
familiarity with the service will allow you to enjoy it as fully as possible.
TUTORING BY THE CANTOR AND RABBI
Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation at Emanuel is done with a high regard for the uniqueness of each Bar/Bat
Mitzvah student, but generally involves one to two sessions per week with the Cantor for a period of
approximately six months, not including vacation. The Rabbi will also be meeting with the student to
help him/her with their D'var Torah, a brief speech explaining the Torah portion. In addition, the Rabbi
will have a family meeting with the immediate family approximately one month prior to the Bar/ Bat
Mitzvah. Any additional tutoring required will be arranged in accordance with the provisions of the
Emanuel Religious School’s Parents’ Handbook.
FRIDAY EVENING SERVICE
Bar/Bat Mitzvah students are expected to participate in the Friday night service of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah
weekend. He/she will lead the Congregation in some of the prayers and carry the Torah during the
Hakafah (circumambulation of the Sanctuary).
As a reminder, Emanuel’s monthly Share Shabbat early service (6:30pm) usually occurs on the second
Friday of the month. On Share Shabbat evenings, Torah blessings are recited by the entire
congregation and candle lighting, Motzei and recitation of the Kiddush are in Lederer Hall just prior to
the dinner. On all Friday nights please note that the service may include other celebrations or
communal events, which will necessitate the sharing of Honors.
SPEECH (D’VAR TORAH)
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a short speech called the D’var Torah during the Shabbat morning service.
Writing the D’var Torah involves some thought about how the Torah portion relates to the student’s life
as well as acknowledgement of those who have helped him/her prepare. The Rabbi works with each
student to prepare this piece.
TALLIT/KIPPOT
Tallitot (prayer shawls) and Kippot (head coverings) are always available at Emanuel for worshippers.
Some families purchase additional Kippot for their guests. You may also wish to present a Tallit to the
Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the beginning of the Shabbat morning worship experience, which he/she will then
wear. Wearing the Tallit symbolizes his/her coming of age in the Jewish tradition, since only adults
wear Tallitot in Jewish worship. It is our hope that from that point on, he /she will choose to wear it
regularly during worship.
TORAH STUDY
We suggest you read your child’s Torah portion with him/ her. Study guides are available online, below
are some suggested links:
http://www.urj.org/shabbat http://urj.org/torah/index.html http://www.g-dcast.com/
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ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING FOR PARENTS
ORIENTATION MEETINGS
During your child’s 5th and 6th grade years, there will be mandatory meetings held for parents, during
which the clergy and synagogue staff will share information on preparing for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Attendance at these meetings is part of the preparation process and is required in order to stay on
track with your scheduled date.
B’NAI MITZVAH FEES and SECURITY COST
The $750 Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee covers preparation and administration through the Saturday service.
There is also a $200 charge for Security provided during services. (Additional Security fees may be
incurred for any celebration held at the Temple following services.) You will be billed for the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah fee and Security cost approximately one year prior to the event. Payment must be made in full
prior to commencement of tutoring. Please note that the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be
members in good standing for the event to take place. (ALL FEES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.)
EMANUEL BULLETIN
In the month(s) before your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you will be contacted by a member of Emanuel's
Communications Committee with questions for your child to answer so we can write a short article
about him/her to be included in Emanuel’s e-Bulletin.
REHEARSAL
The Cantor will contact you to set up a rehearsal during the week prior to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
DECORATIONS FOR THE BIMA (Friday and Saturday)
Many families choose to decorate the Bima in ways that reflect the Jewish value of Tzedakah. One
such way is to arrange with the office to have colorful, symbolic food baskets in front of the podiums,
symbolizing a donation made by the B’nai Mitzvah family to one of the Clergy’s discretionary funds.
These funds are used for charitable purposes consistent with the Synagogue's tax exempt purposes,
to assist individual, educational and communal needs.
If you choose to decorate the Bima with flowers, please note: The Cantor is allergic to various flowers,
so please consult with the office before ordering flowers. The container on the Bima holds a 10” round
pot, and the arrangements should be no taller than three (3) feet. Please contact the office for florists
Emanuel uses regularly.
ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: FRIDAY EVENING
FRIDAY SHABBAT DINNER
Space may be available for rental at Emanuel if you wish to host a Shabbat dinner for your family.
Contact the office about space availability. If your Bar/Bat Mitzvah is on a Share Shabbat weekend,
we encourage you to invite your family to the service and dinner. Please speak to the office about
reservations.
FAMILY HONORS ON FRIDAY EVENING (forms attached)
If there are no additional celebrations on a Friday night, you are encouraged to choose family or
friends who may perform the Honors during the Friday evening service of your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah
weekend. Please consult the Cantor to clarify available Honors.
Including the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in these decisions has proven to be enriching for them. Honors to be
performed by a Jew over the age of 13 may include: lighting the Shabbat candles (can be more than
one person), Torah blessings (one or two people), Hagba (the lifting of the Torah) and G’liliah (the
dressing of the Torah). Additionally, the honor of opening and closing the Ark can be performed by
either a Jew or non-Jew and can be done by those under the age of 13. Blessings may be read in
Hebrew or English.
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You must contact the Cantor at least three (3) weeks in advance to confirm the list of people
participating in the Honors. This list of Honors will be published in Shabbat Notes, which is distributed
before Friday and Saturday services. If you have any questions regarding the participation of non-
Jewish family or friends in the service, please ask the Cantor or Rabbi. Please note: All participants in
the Friday evening service must be at Emanuel by 7:30 p.m. for a brief rehearsal. (If the Friday is a Share
Shabbat, participants must to be at Emanuel by 6:00 p.m.)
ONEG SHABBAT (FRIDAY EVENING)
Oneg Shabbat means “joy of Shabbat,” and refers to the refreshments served after the Friday evening
service. In addition to participating in the services, families are encouraged to host the Oneg Shabbat
of their child’s Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. You will need to discuss these plans, and those for any other event
taking place at the Synagogue, with the office.
Typically, Emanuel’s Women of Reform Judaism/Sisterhood/WRJ are responsible for the Onegs. The
range of options, depending on the size of your gathering and your budget, are listed below:
Sweet and Simple: You bring the food (8 cakes, cookies, fruit, etc.) and the WRJ will do the rest.
Coffee and tea are provided*. WRJ will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A
minimum donation of $54 for up to 60 people.
One Wonderful Oneg: Make it easy to do. WRJ will supply a selection of cakes and fresh fruit along
with coffee and tea*. WRJ will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A minimum
donation of $150 for up to 60 people. Add $2 per person for additional guests.
Full and Fancy: Let WRJ handle everything. WRJ will provide a selection of cakes and cookies,
coffee and tea*, fresh fruit, candy, flowers – the works! You can relax and enjoy your simcha. WRJ
will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A minimum donation of $300 for up to 60
people. Add $3 per person for additional guests.
Emanuel Sisterhood’s Famous Punch: Two punch bowls per order for $40.
*Cups and saucers, decaffeinated coffee, tea, sugar, powdered creamer, stirrers and napkins are
provided by the Temple and served by volunteers that evening. You may want to provide such
specialty items as milk, cream or flavored teas. Please avoid gooey treats, or cakes that are time-
consuming to slice and serve. (Recommended minimum amounts: 8 cakes, candy, cookies, and two
bowls of fruit. )PLEASE NOTE THAT NO NUTS OR NUT PRODUCTS SHOULD BE SERVED AT THE TEMPLE.
After discussion with the Synagogue office staff, please contact the WRJ/Sisterhood liaison at least six
(6) weeks before the event to discuss your needs. The WRJ would like to make this special occasion
just right. Please also discuss with her any food or drink preferences, allergies, restrictions or requests
you may have so that we can accommodate them.
Please remember that at Emanuel, everyone who attends the preceding service is welcome at the
Oneg. The 30-40 regular attendees should be included when doing a headcount. All food delivery
must be pre-arranged with the office. Limited refrigerator and freezer space is available to bring food
in advance. Some of the food remaining after the Oneg is incorporated in platters prepared for Rabbi
Schaalman's Torah study and the Stitching Ladies.
If other celebrations or special occasions occur on the same Friday night, the Oneg may be co-
sponsored by multiple families or groups. The office and the WRJ can let you know if this is the case for
your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. If your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration is the same weekend as a Share
Shabbat, there is no Oneg, but you are welcome to bring a special dessert. Please contact the office
to coordinate the details.
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ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: SHABBAT MORNING
FAMILY HONORS ON SHABBAT MORNING (form attached)
You and your child are encouraged to choose family or friends to perform the Honors that take place
during the Shabbat morning service. There are opportunities for Jews and non-Jews to participate.
Please contact the Cantor for details. Additionally, there are the traditional Aliyot to be performed by
Jews over the age of 13. These include the reading or chanting of Torah blessings that precede and
follow each section of the Torah read that morning by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. There may be up to seven
such sections. These blessings may be read or chanted in Hebrew or English. CCheck with the Cantor
to learn how many sections your child will be reading. Often grandparents, if participating, read the
first Aliyah. The parent(s) generally read the next to the last Aliyah and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants the
last set of blessings. Each Aliyah (set of before and after blessings) can be read by one person or
shared by two.
You must contact the Cantor at least three (3) weeks in advance to confirm the list of people
participating in the Honors. This list of Honors will be published in Shabbat Notes, which is distributed
before Friday evening and Shabbat morning services. Please note: All participants in the Shabbat
morning service must be at Emanuel by 10:15 a.m. for a brief rehearsal with the Cantor. This is to make
certain that participants know both their parts and the place in the service when they shall be called
upon.
If you would like Ruthie Seidner to provide music as part of the Shabbat morning service, you must
contact her directly to make arrangements.
BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE PROGRAM
Many families choose to provide a program for their guests that describes the service and identifies
those family members and friends who will be honored during the ceremony. If you would like to
create a program, the office can provide samples for you to review. The program text must be
provided to the Cantor for review two (2) weeks before the event date to avoid errors.
SHABBAT MORNING KIDDUSH FOLLOWING SERVICE
You are asked to host the Community Kiddush the Saturday morning of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
This involves providing the wine, juice and challah to be served. If there is not a luncheon, you may
want to serve additional sweets. Unless you are expecting a large attendance, three one-pound
challot should be sufficient for the Kiddush.
INVITATIONS
Shabbat morning services begin at 11:00 am sharp. Consider stating a start time of 10:45 a.m. on
the invitations to ensure guests arrive timely.
We recommend that all Hebrew on the invitation be proofed by the Cantor before printing to
avoid errors.
We expect families to invite the other students in their child’s religious school class to celebrate with
them. A class list is available upon request from the office.
Please keep in mind that the clergy will not attend an event following a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service
unless they receive an invitation.
TRANSPORTATION AND PARKING
Emanuel’s parking lot has spots for approximately 60 cars. If you believe more parking is needed
for your guests, please contact the office to discuss alternative parking arrangements. This must be
done no less than three weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please note that any prepaid valet
parking offered by your family must be available for all worshippers.
If you are using a bus to transport your guests, please confirm the details with the office.
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PHOTOGRAPHY AND RECORDING
There is no photography permitted during the service. For still pictures you may wish to have photos
taken a few days in advance in the Sanctuary. You must schedule any photo sessions in advance with
the office. If you wish the Rabbi and Cantor to be part of this photo session, you will need to arrange
this time with them well in advance.
Recording is allowed during the service only if the video camera is set up on a tripod, turned on prior to
the beginning of the service and left alone to run. No special lighting is permitted. The Cantor can
show you the best positioning of the video camera.
ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: CELEBRATIONS AT EMANUEL You may wish to host a luncheon following services in celebration of your simcha. Please contact the
office as early as possible to discuss your plans. Also, if hosting a luncheon following services, please
invite the Emanuel community attending Shabbat morning services to join in the celebration. This
usually involves setting one extra table at your celebration. If you tell the Rabbi, he will extend the
invitation during announcements made before the conclusion of the service.
FACILITIES INFORMATION: GENERAL Emanuel’s facilities may be reserved by members of the Congregation, subject to the availability of the
facility based on the Temple calendar and programming. All functions, including an augmented
Kiddush or a luncheon, must be scheduled through the office. If you choose to host a celebration at
Emanuel, you must notify the office at least three months prior to the event to ensure that the space you
desire will be available. Reservations are only final and binding upon receipt of the required deposits,
and upon placement of the event on the Temple’s master calendar. Only those specific areas and
facilities arranged for in advance may be used for the event.
The room fee (see schedule attached) includes set up and removal of tables, chairs, and other
arranged equipment (microphones, podiums, etc.).
It is the responsibility of the family to provide the set-up information, including any necessary floor
plans and delivery schedules, to the office at least two weeks in advance of the function.
Fees DO NOT include setting the tables, set up of food, clearing the tables, or cleaning the
kitchen.
Please see our policy for caterers who use our space at the end of this packet. It is the
responsibility of the family to ensure that these guidelines are met.
Absolutely nothing may be attached to the walls of the building.
ROOM RENTAL FOR LUNCHEONS/DINNERS
Fee for Security services: there is an incremental fee of $135 for Security services for a celebration held
at the Synagogue (for up to 3 hours).
The following guidelines apply to the rental of our community halls:
Lederer Hall can accommodate up to 250 people; the room rental fee for up to 125 people is
$500 and there is a $90 for each increment of up to 50 people over 125.
The Morris Room may be added to the rental of Lederer for an additional fee of $125.
The Congregation has twenty-two 60” large round tables available; each can seat 8 (comfortably) or 9
people. Fifteen long rectangular tables are also available (which seat 10); they measure 96" x 30".
The synagogue has 7 long tablecloths (90"x156") and 11 round tablecloths (120"round). One of the
rounds has a stain, which has safety pins around it for easy visibility.
Please note the following:
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A donation of any size to the Sisterhood/Emanuel WRJ is requested for the use of the tablecloths.
Tablecloths must be washed, folded and returned to Emanuel Congregation by Thursday of the
following week, and is the responsibility of the B’nai Mitzvah family.
Rentals are for a three-hour period, from 12:30 pm – 3:30 pm. An additional one-hour set-up time is
included in the fee, for a total of four hours. To offset increased maintenance and operating costs, if a
function or activity runs longer than four hours, each additional hour or fraction thereof will result in a
charge of $50.00 per custodial staff person per hour.
The WRJ/Sisterhood makes available its plain white china for $4.00 per place setting. This includes
silverware and glasses. Proceeds from the china rental contribute to the WRJ’s annual campership
program. Contact the office for the specific numbers of place settings available. Families are always
free to bring in rental china, glassware and silverware.
You will receive bills for the facility rental, dish rental and any other charges. These might include the
security, additional room rentals, special cleaning, or other miscellaneous charges.
MUSIC
Appropriate music may be performed in the Temple during Shabbat. The music volume must be kept
to a reasonable level during the entire function. If you are planning to engage a DJ or other musical
entertainment, that person(s) or you must discuss the programming with the Cantor prior to the event.
The Congregation’s pianos may be used, but permission for this must be secured well in advance from
the office. Tuning of the piano is the responsibility of the family, but must be coordinated with the
office.
FOOD: KITCHEN AND REFRIGERATORS
While the Congregation does not maintain a strictly kosher kitchen, no pork or shellfish may be served.
We also request that you refrain from serving dishes that combine meat and milk or have meat and
milk on the table simultaneously. In addition, during Passover, no leavened or other prohibited foods
may be served.
Kitchen use includes limited refrigerator and freezer space. If any food is put into the kitchen before
the function, make certain that it is marked clearly with the name and date of your function. All food
must be removed from the kitchen immediately after the function. Any food remaining in the
refrigerator will be made available to the Synagogue staff. Please consider making arrangements with
a local shelter to donate the remaining food. Please do not use any other food found in the
refrigerator whether it is marked or not. It belongs to another Temple group.
You should meet with the office staff at least three weeks in advance to discuss your specific room set-
ups and table settings.
You and/or your caterers are responsible for clean-up following events. This includes washing all dishes
and leaving the kitchen clean and orderly. Emanuel’s maintenance personnel will be on duty at all
times during catered events, but are responsible only for general assistance to the caterer in the
kitchen and for room set-up.
LIABILITY
The family agrees to indemnify and hold Emanuel Congregation harmless from any and all
claims for loss, injury, or damage to person and property while on the premises.
Caterers must provide a Certificate of Insurance and a refundable $500 security deposit to the
office at least three weeks prior to the event.
Emanuel Congregation assumes no responsibility for damage to or loss of personal property,
including vehicles, on the premises. All personal property brought to or left on the premises shall
be at the owner’s risk.
The family will be held responsible and will be billed for any loss, breakage, or damage to
Synagogue equipment or property arising from the event.
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ALCOHOL/SMOKING
If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family chooses to serve alcoholic beverages, the family assumes all responsibility
and risk and specifically agrees to indemnify and hold the Temple, its officers, board, members and
employees harmless from liability, judgment, or damages resulting from serving alcoholic beverages.
Alcohol should be served only under adult supervision.
Emanuel Congregation is a non-smoking facility.
SUPERVISION
It is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parents’ responsibility to supervise their guests during the service, and the
luncheon following the service. The only parts of the building open to the participants are the
designated social hall, the coatroom, and the washrooms. NO ONE should be on the second floor, in
the sanctuary (after the service), the library or the rear hallways. Costs for damages and/or excessive
maintenance (clean up) will be assessed to the sponsoring family. Please make sure that your guests,
especially the children, follow the proper decorum of the Synagogue. We advise selecting a family
friend to keep an eye on groups of children sitting together.
WASHROOMS
Providing paper hand towels (100 total) and flowers (6 bud vases or 4 small plants) for each washroom
is a nice touch.
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Can a non-Jew be called up for an Aliyah?
Only a Jew over the age of 13 may recite a Torah blessing. However, a non-Jew may accompany
his/her Jewish spouse to the Torah when that spouse approaches to read a Torah blessing.
How can younger siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah participate in the service?
Younger siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah may assist an adult with candle lighting on Friday night, opening
or closing the ark, or dressing of the Torah. Please talk to the Cantor if you have any questions.
Must I invite my child’s entire Religious School class to our celebration?
It is expected at Emanuel Congregation that all of your child’s classmates will be included in the
service and celebration.
I’m not planning on using a caterer, but I want to serve a simple lunch to my guests. What do I need to
know?
You will need to hire assistants or coordinate volunteers who will: set up paper goods, receive the
deliveries, put food on trays, put food out on serving tables at the proper time, replenish food on
serving tables, clear tables, pack up leftover food, deliver food to local shelters, and clean up the
kitchen. The maintenance staff is responsible only for set-up/take-down of tables and chairs.
Where can I order a large challah?
Large challot can be ordered from any of the Jewish bakeries in Chicago, such as North Shore Bakery
or the Breadsmith in Skokie. A congregant also has a baking business, her details can be found on the
contact page attached. Please remember that North Shore closes before sundown on Fridays.
Is there a way to express appreciation to the Rabbi and Cantor for their assistance?
While no gifts are required or expected, it is customary to consider a donation to the Clergy
Discretionary Funds in honor of your Simcha. Such gifts are used to benefit causes and individuals in
need, and this enlarges the circle of your celebration.
Are there alternatives to Bima flowers?
As an alternative, some families make a donation to a local charity or a Clergy Discretionary Fund in
lieu of flowers. A lovely basket of canned food can be displayed on the Bima to represent the
donation. Contact the office for details.
What is “appropriate” music that can be performed at a party at Emanuel?
First, a definition of inappropriate music. Such would include: very loud music, music with explicit sexual
lyrics, foul language, etc. Certainly, Klezmer and classical music are appropriate to the spirit of
Shabbat. Other forms of party music should be evaluated by how well they fit the spirit of Shabbat.
Please talk to the Cantor if you have questions.
Where can I donate leftover food from my event?
There are many local shelters and soup kitchens that would welcome donations of food. Some to
consider are: Harper House, 4715 N Sheridan, 773-784-5698; the Inspiration Cafe, 4540 N Broadway, 773-
878-0981; and Good News Soup Kitchen, 7649 N Paulina, 773-262-2277.
FURTHER QUESTIONS?
If you have any other questions regarding the facilities of Emanuel Congregation, please contact the
office. If you have any other questions regarding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, please talk to Cantor
Friedman during your child’s preparation period or call her at 773-561-5173. There are also many
Bar/Bat Mitzvah party-planning-event checklist-type books available which you may find helpful.
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Emanuel Congregation ....................................................... 773 561 5173
Cantor Michelle Drucker Friedman .................................... ext 32
................................................................................................. [email protected]
Rabbi Zedek ........................................................................... ext 25
................................................................................................. [email protected]
B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator ................................................... [email protected]
Ruthie Seidner: ...................................................................... [email protected]
Marcelle Lynn Waitsman (for challot) ................................ 773 761 2684
WRJ/Sisterhood liaison Rachelle Sheffer ............................ [email protected]
A HONORS FORM To be filled out by parents and returned to the Cantor: [email protected]
NO LATER than 3 weeks prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY
NAMES (PLEASE NOTE HOW YOU WANT LAST NAMES TO BE PRINTED)
Full English Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Full Hebrew Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Son or Daughter of: Parent One’s English Name:
Parent One’s Hebrew Name:
Son or Daughter of: Parent Two’s English Name:
Parent Two’s Hebrew Name:
FRIDAY NIGHT HONORS
Candle Lighter(s) (family of Bar/Bat Mitzvah):
Ark Attendants (two people): 1) 2)
Torah Blessing (one or two people) for Friday night honors; Hebrew names are not necessary.
1) 2)
SHABBAT MORNING HONORS
Will a Tallit be presented? □ Yes □ No If yes, by whom?:
Ark Attendants (two people): 1) 2)
Hagba (lifting the Torah; MUST be present for pre-service rehearsal):
G’liliah (dressing the Torah):
TORAH BLESSINGS (one or two people for each):
English Names Hebrew Names The formula is: Hebrew Name of Honoree Bar/Bat (son or
daughter) of Hebrew name of Parent 1 v’(and) Hebrew
name of Parent 2
Aliyot:
1) Grandparents (if participating):
2)
3)
4)
5)
6) (Parents)
7) (Bar / Bat Mitzvah)
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Name: Date of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
B SUMMARY OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH ARRANGEMENTS
Please use this as a guide to inform your discussion with our B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator. You will be
contacted no later than 6 weeks prior to your event to ensure you and the Temple are in agreement
about the arrangements for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
How many guests do you anticipate? Adults: Children under 14: Total:
Are you using the temple facilities for Shabbat dinner on Friday?
If so, have you submitted room set up request?
Are you arranging for the Oneg on Friday night?
If so, have you contacted the WRJ?
Are you serving food or a meal at the Temple after Shabbat morning services?
If so, have you submitted room set up request?
If you are using a caterer, does the office have the certificate of liability and security deposit?
Caterer: Contact Info:
POLICY FOR CATERERS WHO USE OUR PREMISES
A certificate of liability and a $500.00 security deposit must be in two weeks before the party’s
date.
All deliveries must be made to Emanuel Congregation no later than 2:00 PM on Friday, unless
previously arranged.
No deliveries are accepted on Saturday.
All dishes must be washed and put back in cupboards.
All wine, champagne, and water glasses must be washed and put back in cupboards.
All silverware must be dried and put back in the divided bins.
All serving trays must be washed and put away.
All counters and sinks must be cleaned.
The stove must be cleaned.
All garbage must be placed in the garbage bins outdoors.
Floors must be swept and mopped.
Are you having a band, DJ or other entertainment?
If so, please provide details:
Are you using WRJ dishes on Friday Night? Saturday? Both? # place settings?
Will you need additional parking on Saturday morning?
If so, have you arranged through the office?
Are you paying for that parking?
Have you arranged for delivery of wine, juice and challah no later than 2 p.m. Friday?
Have you prepared a written program for services?
If so, has it been reviewed by the Cantor?
Are you providing flowers or a food basket for the bima?
If flowers, have you accommodated the Cantor’s allergies?
Name of florist: Contact Info:
Please note delivery must be made before 2 p.m. Friday
Have you arranged for Ruthie Seidner to participate in Shabbat morning services?
C PARENT CHECK LIST
Some of the following dates are suggestions, some are deadlines. This checklist is meant to serve as
a planning tool as you look ahead to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Above on page 10, you will find
contact information for individuals at Emanuel who will assist you in making your arrangements.
2 YEARS BEFORE:
Attend the mandatory B’nai Mitzvah Orientation Meeting when child is in 5th grade.
Ensure your child attends religious school regularly so he/she will be prepared.
Begin planning for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah project.
15 MONTHS BEFORE:
Attend some Friday night and Shabbat morning services (a minimum of 3 Saturday morning
and 2 Friday night).
12 MONTHS (1 YEAR PRIOR)
Attend mandatory B’nai Mitzvah Orientation Meeting when child is in 6th grade.
Coordinate your mitzvah project with the Rabbi and Cantor.
Contact hotels for room blocks, if necessary.
6 MONTHS BEFORE
Set up a time to meet with the Rabbi about speeches.
Discuss with B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator your space requirements and tentative plans for
celebration.
Contact Ruthie Seidner to determine if she is available to participate in the Saturday morning
service.
Begin finalizing your event plans (e.g. caterer, music, etc).
3 to 6 MONTHS BEFORE
Consult with the Cantor regarding the details of the Service your child will be leading (e.g.
number of Aliyot).
Ask family and friends to perform Honors at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (refer them to resources for
practice of relevant blessings).
Order invitations, contact florists or make other Bima decoration arrangements, identify
caterer, order Kippot, etc.
2 MONTHS BEFORE
Schedule and meet with the Rabbi to prepare D’var Torah .
Respond to the Emanuel e-Bulletin inquiry with a photo and a short biography for inclusion in
the e-Bulletin.
Pay any and all room rental fees if you are using our facility.
E-mail the Cantor the draft list of family and friends performing Honors , including Hebrew
names of those reciting blessings.
Prepare a program for the services, if desired.
3 WEEKS BEFORE
Contact office with final room diagrams, menus, parking arrangements, Bima decorations,etc.
Submit completed ‘Summary of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Arrangements’ to the office.
Email a final draft of your “Honors List” to the Cantor.
Schedule rehearsal, including photography, through the Cantor.
1 WEEK BEFORE
Turn in a copy of any program for the service to the office.
Make reservations for Share Shabbat dinner, if applicable.
FRIDAY, WEEK OF
All deliveries (flowers, food, etc.) must be delivered by 2 pm Friday. No Deliveries on Saturday.
D B’NAI MITZVAH WORKSHEET
Please note: all fees are subject to change
Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee $ 750.00
Bima decorations (flowers/food baskets) $
Room rental for lunch/dinner $
(There is no charge for Kiddush only)
Rental of WRJ/Sisterhood dishes $
Security for services $ 200.00
Additional security $
Tzedakah (suggested contribution is 13% of the cost of the event)
$
Other $
$
TOTAL $
Fee Schedule:
Additional security for celebration at Emanuel ................ $135.00
Lederer Room rent for:
125 people .............................................................................. $500.00
125-175 .................................................................................... $590.00
175-225 .................................................................................... $680.00
225+ ......................................................................................... $770.00
Morris Room ............................................................................ $125.00
Each place setting for WRJ/Sisterhood china ................... $4.00
E
STUDENT SIGNATURE PAGE
ATTENDANCE AT SHABBAT SERVICES
(to be completed and returned to the Cantor no later than 1 month before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah)
As part of my Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation, I attended Shabbat services at Emanuel on the following dates:
SHABBAT MORNING SERVICES: RABBI OR CANTOR’S INITIALS
FRIDAY EVENING SERVICES:
Student Name
PRINT SIGNATURE