Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Individual Leadership: Understanding Your Communication Style Session 5 Anita Verna Crofts Elisabeth.

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008

Individual Leadership:Understanding Your Communication Style

Session 5

Anita Verna CroftsElisabeth Mitchell


Listening/Learning Styles• Visual

• Auditory

• Kinesthetic

We use these modes to help us determine our message and how we will communicate it to others. We also use these modes to determine what it is that other people are really telling us.

- Michael Shadow


Listening/Learning Styles

• Most of us have a combination of Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic modes

When you are speaking to a group of people or listening to an individual, what can you do to give each “mode” in your audience what it needs so that they will understand your message?


Visual Listeners/Learners

• Learn best by seeing things

• Respond to color, shapes, and language that reflects this

• Influenced by body language, eye contact, and facial expressions


Visual Examples

• Photos

• Charts and graphs

• Colored font

• Graphic images


Auditory Listeners/Learners

• Learn best by hearing things

• Respond to an organized and well paced delivery of information

• Influenced by the tone, pitch, and volume of someone’s voice


Auditory Examples

• Talking through an issue “out loud”

• Music

• Using the phone for a conversation instead of sending an email or a letter

• Reading a piece of writing out loud to better understand it


Kinesthetic Listeners/Learners

• Learn while active: touch, feel, do!

• Respond to activities where they move and experiment, or alternatively, language that is inspires the idea of movement

• Influenced by the tactile aspects of learning: “hands on approach”


Kinesthetic Examples

• Pacing to help you think

• Learning a skill by using your hands

• Prefer a demonstration over a written set of instructions

• Reacting to “gut feelings” in decision-making


Why are these modes important?

• To be understood, we must tailor our speech and hearing to the mode of the listener

• To learn best, we must understand our preferred “mode” of receiving information

• Given that most people learn in multiple modes, we must work to include a variety in how we communicate with others


Individual Listening/Learning Style

• Even though we use multiple modes every day, most of us have a strong preference for either Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic.

• Identifying that preferred mode is yourself an others is part of the leadership process


Intersection of Listening and Leadership

How to be an active listener


Characteristics of Successful Leaders

• open-minded• good listeners• flexible – can adapt and readjust• systematic in giving and receiving feedback• communicates well (shares vision, brings others along ,

shares information, receives new information)• creative• inclusive • institute self-education/learning• take action to make change


Effective Listening Skill Survey


Why don’t we listen?

• We are busy!

• Distractions

• Thinking of other things

• Thinking about what we’ll say next

• Want to immediately problem-solve

• We think faster than we speak


Kinds of Listening

• Competitive/Combative

• Passive or Attentive (but doesn’t take action)

• Active or Reflective


Active Listening

• Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It focuses on the speaker.


Benefits of Active Listening

• Avoid or clarify misunderstandings

• Resolve conflict

• Build trust

• Get staff (and others) to talk

• Get more information to be better able to persuade, influence, and negotiate


Listening with a Purpose

• Listen to understand

• What’s behind the words?

• Listen for feelings

• Pay attention to body language

• Paraphrase


What must happen first?

• Understand your communication style

• Be aware of your non-verbal communication

• Be aware of your position and how that affects how others listen to you

• What are you modeling?

• What kind of environment to you want to create?


Understand your communication style

• Know yourself.

• Practice subjectivity.

• Be aware that the meanings and use of facts and language are relative.

• Be aware of your position.

• Risk honesty in communication.


The person who is actively listened to will

FEEL HEARD


Ability to Listen is Affected By:

– What is being communicated– Who is communicating it– Whether or not we feel it is our problem– Time– Place– Situation (and history)


How to do it?

– Stop talking.

– Put person at ease.

– Show the person you want to hear them.

– Show agreement but ask questions if you don’t understand.

– Listen to understand. (Not just for your turn!)


–Remove distractions

–Stand in their shoes. Empathize.

–Be patient.

–Be aware of your emotions.

–Be slow to disagree, criticize, or argue.


–Be slow to solve the problem or to minimize it.

–Be quick to paraphrase.

– Stop talking (even in your head!).


The Listening Response

• Acknowledges what the other person says

• Tests the meaning with the other person

• Encourages the other person to say more

• Explores the other person’s perspective


Active Listening

• Adapted from: • UW Cascade Center for Public Service: “Interpersonal

and Communication Skills June 8, 2006. Prof. John Boehrer.

• UW Training and Development, “Facilitative Leadership” Winter 2001. Jonathan Halperin

• Great Question! ™ Practicing the Art of asking Enlightening questions that Empower People to Excel in every aspect of life. Carolyyn Conlinn.

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Individual Leadership: Understanding Your Communication Style Session 5 Anita Verna Crofts Elisabeth.

Documents

blue nile state lm training

approach slide

leadership process slide

active listener slide

kinesthetic modes

facial expressions slide

michael shadow slide

volume of someones voice