Blaire Sloane Literature and Society – Dr.Sherry 10/3/10.

Blaire SloaneLiterature and Society – Dr.Sherry10/3/10

PROBLEM:Starting from a young age students are taught not to fear being different and are advised to always be true to themselves because that’s what makes them unique. This individuality message is constantly reinforced and encouraged by educators, coaches, family and sometimes friends throughout our lives. In theory college appears to be the perfect setting for one to freely express themselves. Now you are making many decisions without the restrictions of your parents that may have limited you in the past. Your lifestyle is completely your own, That being said are college students genuinely willing or secure enough to step out of their comfort zones and let down some boundaries to become and be perceived as a true individual?

Through-out my power point I will be referring to my ethnographic data including apartment bedroom pictures and interviews collected to support my thoughts on the subject of individuality among college students. Two sources Rebekah Nathan’s (2005) My Freshman Year: What Professor Learned by Becoming a Student and Michael Moffatt’s (1989) Coming of Age in New Jersey: College and American Culture further helped make sense of my interpretations. By the end of my presentation, my goal is to reveal particular findings regarding college life at Bloomsburg University.

“ At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”- Grey’s Anatomy

The way a college student chooses to decorate their room could tell a lot about their personality. From the rooms I toured it is obvious students are not taking many fashion risks when decorating in fear that style choice will be a topic of conversation. Along with wondering or worrying that they are being judged as different it became apparent quickly all students want to be viewed as the same or normal. In the left picture you can see this student has pictures hanging on the wall and the desk, this showing she wants to keep her friends and family close to her heart since she now lives at school. Her bed is missing in the picture it is covered with a bright pink comforter, which is a common color used to decorate female rooms. After analyzing the second picture, I came to the same realization, pictures on wall and bright color schemes. At first glance, my opinion was I had not gained any new insight into the college culture that I had not known going into the project. Returning to the student apartments for a closer look, I discovered some elements that were useful.

Findings:

Taking my time to look for anything that would strike me as unique, the girl that lives in this bedroom came in to see what I was doing. Mentioning I liked her mirror then asking what it was made of because the material did not look familiar to me. She informed me that her mirror along with the two picture frames hanging on her wall were made of recycled newspapers .She was planning to start a more “green” life style. I immediately recorded my new findings thinking this was a sign of individuality, noticing the student’s face turn to pure panic. She asked if this information would be shared with my class, after replying yes she began to act embarrassed, and expressed her fear about being made fun of due to using recycled frames. She requested no details about the objects be revealed I assured her the picture will be submitted as anonymous she agreed but still felt uncomfortable and insecure. In the apartment, she shared with three

of her best friends she did not think twiceabout hanging the mirror or picture frames. She did not have a second thought to show her individuality among the people that knew her best, but became mortified at the thought of expressing herself through this one picture in front of a group of fellow college students that were strangers to her. Further than that was the fact that even after I explained to her that no one would know whose bedroom it was she still felt insecure about the one tiny part of her room that made it diverse.

I went back into the second bedroom, and began to take a closer look at the wall of pictures the student had taped up. Most of the pictures were of fellow student and her friends, some had been taken here at Bloomsburg, other seemed to be pictures from home .The people were grouped in such a way it was clear which friends were from home verse school. Included were a couple of family pictures placed towards the top of the wall, the bottom half just above her bed is heavily filled with pictures of her boyfriend and herself. Stepping back, I began to question the wall she choose to hang her pictures. Most female students hang pictures either above their desk so when their studying or doing anything at the desk they can see them or the wall next to their beds so when their resting or feeling lonely they can glance at them. She choose to put the pictures on the one wall in the room that you can’t see while laying in bed and have your back to when you’re at your desk. This wall was however, the first wall you see when walking into her bedroom. After noticing this I immediately began to think about a passage from My Freshman Year were Rebekah Nathan discusses the dorm room decorations she observed during her stay at AnyU.

Nathan states, “The images typically are not serious; they are often posed, but in poses that contrast with the family album picture. Instead of smiling naturally, people are often making faces, or purposely "over"-smiling, or sticking out their tongues. They appear in unusual positions (on the ground; with their butts sticking out) and/or off-balance, with legs and arms akimbo, as if caught in some spontaneous and "fun" activity” (Nathan, 27). This passage and the photos on the students’ wall suggest that college students hang pictures on their walls and doors partly for themselves but mainly for other people to view. From an outside perspective these pictures could seem weird and somewhat repetitive. When you are submerged in the Bloomsburg University culture seeing these photos on dorm doors along with seeing new photos added onto Facebook every weekend of the same five friends in the same position is normal. In fact, it would be stranger if these pictures were not constantly up on display. Anyone that doesn’t go away to college would probably look at these pictures of people making silly faces and consider that person unique, when at Bloomsburg those very pictures are what take away from a persons’ individuality.

Next, I will talk about the interview conducted with my roommate and a girl that lives on my floor (interview on slide fourteen.) My interview started with asking simple questions; what activity takes up most of your day and how did you meet most of your friends? The answers received were no surprise. As assumed either sleeping or being on the computer would take up most of their time and as one could have guessed they met the majority of their friends because they all lived on the same floor freshman year. The answers did not help me expand on any of my ideas for the final project. As we continued, I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn the format of the interview was a key element of the results. I chose to interview both girls at the same time, not for any particular reason. I had no idea all I would witness and learn, I am so satisfied with the results. When I asked the question do you feel completely yourself at college, my roommate first answered yes but after a short pause, she proceeded to ask me if I thought she was herself. When it was the other girl's turn to answer she retorted “well I think I am.” What I found interesting was that my roommate asked me if I thought she was completely herself, how should I know, only she knows the true answer. She was nervous that we were judging her on honesty or that we did not believe she was completely herself. After that happened the other girl, being interviewed did not immediately say yes she responded, “well I think I am.” While the interviewees’ answers differed slightly, their body language was identical. Both became withdrawn, losing eye contact and started to squirm. If you truly feel you are completely yourself there should a confidence in your voice as well as body language. Their answers lacked self-assurance and their tone of their voice was timid. It was obvious they were not telling the whole truth.

There were no rules established or time limits set for this interview. I became curious as to why the girls would answer yes to a question they both clearly were not one hundred percent sure on. I can only conclude that college students want to be or at least be seen as authentic. They fear being considered fake or insincere. Minor adjustments are required of all students in order to adapt to college life. From an outside perspective these slight changes might be overlooked, but while immersed in the college culture these changes are magnified. As soon as you step foot into the college environment your met with number of unreasonable expectations, these include always looking good for class or always looking to socialize. Truth is not every one is a “laid back, go with the flow, friendly outgoing person” yet students are all trying to fit that roll. For my last question, I asked what are three words to describe yourself? Their approach to answering this question was unlike any other in the interview. As opposed to answering fully one after another, they went back and forth after each verb. I responded “okay” after the first two words, then gave a simple head nod signaling okay after the next two. After my roommate said her third word “loyal”, I unintentionally didn’t give any sign of approval. She then quickly said “no! trustworthy use that one.” She was so fast to want me to change the word, almost as if she didn’t want there to be any evidence that she had ever said the word loyal. She was not looking to answer the question truthfully, just give answers that would satisfy me. Both said friendly, and the other answers were loveable, trustworthy, bubblely and outgoing. The girl that lives on my floor choose the word “friendly” last and said, “only because I can’t think of anything else.” This in all reality could not be true, as mentioned before there were no time limits; she could have sat there all day thinking of a word. She tried to seem nonchalant about it, yet I could tell this question was significant to her. They took the most time to answer this question, thinking long and hard. Almost as if this were the most important question, as if this answer would really represent who they really are. Neither chooses descriptive words that are unique to their personalities, in fact I found their choices very generic. This situation reminded me of something Michael Moffatt touched on in Coming of Age in New Jersey.

Moffatt speaks about an icebreaker activity he took part in during his research at Rutgers University. Students were asked to write jot down their biggest fears and hopes about Rutgers, the answered would be read aloud anonymously. The responses “ were amazingly similar, apparently indicating the simple pragmatic orientations of most incoming freshman and the simple bifurcation of “college” in unreflective student notions into two halves: “academics” and “social life.” The hopes were either academic, in the narrow sense, or social: To succeed, To get good grades, To pass courses, To get into med school or To make friends, To find people like me. The fears were the other side of the same coin, all variants of “to fail” academically or socially” (Moffatt 15). Students were posed with a simple question and told their answers wouldn’t be linked to them yet, no one other than Michael chose to step outside the box with their answer. Even when opportunities to express individuality are placed in the hands on college students, they aren’t taken advantage of. This suggests scholars are not willing to be unique.

My ethnographic findings undoubtedly illustrate particular elements of the culture at Bloomsburg University. Amongst close friends or in familiar territory students are open to demonstrating their individuality but in any public setting fear of judgment or embarrassment causes students to hide their uniqueness. The craving to be viewed as distinct or sincere has a profound effect on the actions of college students. These outcomes validate the results exposed in the studies of Rebekah Nathan and Michael Moffatt. Nathan found that individuality was hard to come by and that decorating ones room is not just for the individual but for outsiders to observe as well. Moffatt established students want the essence of whom they are to match one another but choose to portray themselves in slightly different ways. Their answers had huge affects on one another. I cannot help but wonder if their answers would have been different had I interviewed them separately.

Conclusion:

This suggests to me, College seems to be an ideal place for individualism to flourish yet, the anxiety of being a likeable fun person and the worry of not fitting in causes students unique personalities to be concealed. Though students try to come off as individuals, most are not secure enough to let down their boundaries and reveal to others who they truly are. Even when forced out of their comfort zones students do not take advantage of the situation. A College Students urge to be seen as an individual is really an intense desire to fit in with the crowd.

Conclusion Continued:

Interview

1. What activity takes up most of your day?a. Being on the computer, going on Facebook and doing homework.b. Sleeping.2. Do you feel like you've made true life long friends while at college?a. Yes, two or threeb. Yes, like two maybe3. How did you make most of your friends at college?a. My freshman roommate, people on my floor my freshman year.b. People on my floor.4. Do you feel you can be completely yourself at college?a. umm...Yes ( Do you think I am?)b. well I think I am5. Is there anything that is common amongst all college students?a. It seems that everyone has the same mind set to just party and sleep.b. We all sleep and eat and drink.6. Are you happier at home or a college, why is that?a. I would say half and half, because I like living around all my own things at home, like my own bedroom and shower and I like being here because I have fun and its something different.b. ( asked other girl being interviewed what she answered to this question) I dont know, I'm happier at college because my parents aren't yelling at me all the time.7. Are you worried about your future?a. Yes I am, because I thought that I wanted to be a teacher but after really looking into it I realized I don ’t really want to be.b. Uh yes because in my major I need to get into grad school to get a degree.8. Do you feel independent?a. Um, yes and no because I still call my mom for stuff.b. No cause my parents still pay for stuff9. Is it hard to be an individual at college?a. Uh, I would say it is, think about it whenever you say you want to stay in everybody is going out and then you feel like you have to go out.b. Yeah I think it’s hard to be yourself at college, because you want to fit in so badly that people will do anything.10. Three words to describe yourself?a. friendly, bubblely,..... (over a minute later) loyal....no! trustworthy use that one.b. outgoing, loveable, friendly (cause I can’t think of anything else).

References

Moffatt, M.(1989). Coming of Age in New Jersey: College and American Culture, New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press.

Nathan,R.(2005). My Freshman Year: What Professor Learned by Becoming a Student. New York: Penguin Group,Ltd.