Black Spring Jordan Sullivan
Mar 20, 2016
Black Spring
Jordan Sullivan
Kiss Another Day Goodbye
saw the rain on your facethen the tears comin down
melissa said she was goin outmeeting danny downtown
i didn’t know then that you wouldn’t come backi didn’t know then then that was the end
that was that
held your hand the day your daddy passedread to you from the books he read before he was dead
you told me you dreamt he was in heavenbut our dreams never come true
we just grow up and get tiredas old as the blues
and i don’t know how much longeri can feel the way i feel and never cry
and i don’t know how much longer i can kiss another day goodbye
i remember that day on suicide bridgewatching the ghosts of yesterday
climb those muddy cliffswe listened to the records that made us forget
you took my breath away and made me cry when you said you were scared to die
and i forgive you god if you’re still therei forgive this town and this rain that never goes away
i forgive you melissa wherever you areand i forgive you danny for stealing her heart
i guess it was me and you and bad blood from the startguess it was heaven and hell
guess its time that always tells
Tommy
talked to god on the cornershe told me life was a mess
time just theft and it can’t be keptso I got blood on my hands and knocked on tommy’s door
we were so fucking poor how could i not want more
told tommy grab the moneysteal the car
lets find our homesaw his dad choke his mom on a bathroom floor
life was brutal, life was a chore, it goes on and onhow could he not want something more
a mile past the county line a mile inside the devils time
our girls in the backseatthe pedal on the floor
the life we knew was over only here and now
no beforehow could we not want so much more
no more friday nightsno more black and blue midnights
rachel takes out the candy we put the pills on our tongues
beth leans back and laughs, says, “we aint even that young,but this life has just begun”
For Rachel (The Bad Sleep Well)
we lived wellbut life was rotten
they murdered everyoneand everyone was innocent
i was taken to heavenand ran straight back to hell
you were rightthe bad sleep well
one bullet to the brainkilled your old man
you found him lying therehis blood in the sand
so you fucked the pain awaywhen you ran out of tears
found every dirtbag in sightand said it was love at first sight
i found you sleeping on the streetput your blood on my sheets
carved my neck with your teethit was meant to be
your favorite star always shinesyour heart skips a beat
i’ll love you foreverthis was meant to be
Black Spring
they elected the president last nightand you ask me if i went to votei remind you that i was with you
we lit up that dust and stayed in to smoke
you ask me if the world will changei tell you for us it won’twe were born this wayand we’ll die this way there’s only one way
“remember you used to hold me when I cried,” you’d saidi inhale, let out that heart-shaped smoke
as your eyes go red
so you slam the doorand put on that same song you played last night
you ain’t a beauty but i think you’re alrightthat’s when i see the light
tommy and beth come through the back doorone month in hiding but they know the score
wheres the money, tommy barksi smoked it to the core
rachel comes outeyes bleeding
tommy panics, fires off a roundnow rachel’s on the floor kneeling
beth screams outtommy runs out the door
rachel on her kneeshow’d we let it get this far
now i’m chasing down tommyrachel in the backseat bleeding
beth holds her handthey both start screaming
Black Spring (cont.)
i pull onto dover streetbeth starts to plead
he didn’t mean it, she crieswe gotta get help or rachel dies
but i’m long goneshe’s too high to die
i’m too high to cryso i’m outta the car and i don’t even know why
yelling at tommy to unlock the fucking doori’ll tell him its not like before
then i’ll put a bullet in his skulldrag him through the dirt, tell him this what livings for
we had a million years to get this right
so now its gonna end tonighti’m screaming till my lungs bleed
think of beth and rachel and my heart starts to speed
feel the blood on rachels hipremember the taste of her lips
imagine the bullet in tommy’s heartthis all went wrong from the start
now its juggernaut blackgood kid gone bad
everyone dreams under one skybut god never says hello
only good bye
rachel takes a breathevery one could be her last
this is what tommy didhow can i forgive
days on parker streetwe were just kids, 11 or 12
no rain for milesno thoughts of hell
good kids turn badbut maybe those good kids can come back
so i put the gun awaypray the sun comes out to stay
Black Spring (cont.)
we know these streets by all the mistakes we made of them
and now i see the end is comin soonall the blood runnin lightning blue
and i loved you all this timebut now it’s done and this is goodbye
i take rachels handleave beth and tommy to be damned
rachels got nine livesso we’re gonna get outta this alive
peel out to the highwaylistening for angels in her cries
digging for diamonds in her eyesthink of melissathink of danny
think of tommy and beththink of mom and grandmaand dad gripping his chest
where’s jamie and davieand the gang from the party store
the old men in suitswho survived a thousand winters or more
where’s tim and will and prattand the carver street kids
the ones with swollen lips and butterfly eyelids
wheres my brother and sisterhow come they ain’t here
we could’ve been so much more give us back all those years
and where’s god and the devilto save me or damn me
i gotta feel something before this life kills me
where’s ms. kim and the girls from the lakethe ones with the weed and the candy colored snakes
and where are you now and where are we
the forgotten childrengods bastard sons
stay with me rachelkeep your eyes on the sun
mornings coming quick and this’ll all be done.
Black Springby Jordan Sullivan
published by Blood of the Young, 2013
www.jordan-sullivan.comwww.bloodoftheyoungzine.com
all content copyright Jordan Sullivan, 2013
For Rachel (The Bad Sleep Well) contains an excerpt from Paradise Motel by Charles Simic
Kiss Another Day Goodbye contains an excerpt from Kiss Another Day Goodbye by David Kaufman