Big Ideas for Curious Minds: An Introduction to Philosophy

Publishedin2018byTheSchoolofLife70MarchmontStreet,LondonWC1N1AB

Copyright©TheSchoolofLife2018Illustrations©AnnaDohertyDesignedandtypesetbyStudioKatieKerr

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ANINTRODUCTIONTOPHILOSOPHYTHESCHOOLOFLIFEPRESS

Introduction:WhatIsPhilosophy?

P9

KnowYourselfwithSocrates

P15

LearntoSayWhat’sonYourMindwithLudwigWittgenstein

P20

It’sHardtoKnowWhatWeReallyWantwithSimonedeBeauvoir

P26

WhenSomeoneIsAngry,MaybeIt’sNotYouWhoIsResponsible

withIbnSinaP32

PeopleAreUnhappy,NotMean

withZeraYacobP36

Don’tExpectTooMuchwithSeneca

P42

MaybeYouAreJustTired

withMatsuoBashoP46

WhatIsNormalIsn’tNormalwithAlbertCamus

P52

NoOneKnows…withRenéDescartes

P56

PolitenessMatterswithConfucius

P62

WhyWeProcrastinatewithHypatiaofAlexandria

P66

WhyIt’sHardtoKnowWhatYouWanttoDo

withYourLifewithJean-JacquesRousseau

P70

GoodThingsAre(Unexpectedly)HardwithFriedrichNietzsche

P76

WeaknessofStrengthTheory

withRalphWaldoEmersonP82

KintsugiwithBuddha

P88

TheNeedtoTeachRatherthanNagwithImmanuelKant

P94

TheMind-BodyProblemwithJean-PaulSartre

P100

WhyYouFeelLonelywithMicheldeMontaigne

P106

TheMeaningofLifewithAristotle

P112

WhyWeHateCheapThingswithMaryWollstonecraft

P118

TheNewsDoesn’tAlwaysTellTheWholeStory

withJacquesDerridaP122

ArtIsAdvertisingforWhatWeReallyNeed

withGeorgWilhelmFriedrichHegelP126

WhyDoSomePeopleGetPaidMorethanOthers?

withAdamSmithP132

What’sFair?withJohnRawls

P136

Shyness:HowtoOvercomeIt

withMaimonidesP142

WhyGrown-upLifeIsHard

with...PhilosophyP146

ListofThinkersP151

INTRODUCTION

Philosophyisquiteamysterioussubjectthatmostpeopledon’tknowanythingabout.Theaverageschooldoesn’tteachit,theaverageadultdoesnotunderstandit,andthewholesubjectcanseemoddandkindofunnecessary.That’sarealpitybecauseinfact,philosophyhasalottoteacheveryone,whatevertheirage.Itmightevenbethemostimportantsubjectyouwilleverstudy.Thisbookwantstoopenthedoorforyou—toshowyouwhatphilosophyisallabout,andhowitcanhelpyoutounderstandlife.

Theword‘philosophy’itselfgivesusabitofaclueastowhythesubjectmatters.It’soriginallyawordfromAncientGreek:thefirstpart,philo,means‘love’(philatelymeanstheloveofstamps).Thesecondpart,whichcomesfromthewordsophia,means‘wisdom’.So,whenyouputthetwopartstogether—philosophy—itliterallymeans‘theloveofwisdom’.

Philosophyhelpsustolivewiselives.Butwhatdoes‘wisdom’mean?It’snotveryobvious,atfirst.Isbeingwisejustaboutbeingclever?No,it’smuchmorethanthat.It’saboutbeingsensible,kind,calmandaccepting

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ofhowlifecansometimesbe(whichisn’talwaysperfect,andsometimesreallyquitehard).

Togetabetterideaofwhatwisdommightinvolve,wecanthinkaboutitsopposite:notbeingwise.Imaginethatyourmumlosesherkeys.Thereareunwisewaysshemightdealwiththis.Maybeshestartsshoutingatotherpeople:‘Whomovedmycarkeys?’(eventhoughprobablynoonedidmovethem).Ormaybeshegetsintoapanicandthrowsherselfontothesofa,moaningthatshe’sacompleteidiotandthatherentirelifeisruined.Poormum!

Whatwouldawisermumdo?Insteadofrantingandraving,orstartingtopanicstraightaway,shewouldthink:‘Well,carkeysdotendtogetlostfromtimetotime.Imusthaveputthemsomewhere…maybethey’reinthecoatIwaswearingyesterday.’Shecouldask(calmly)ifyouhadseenthem,andshemightevenlaughabouthowsillyshewastoforgetwhereshe’dputthem.

Therearelotsofsituationswhereyoucanseethedifferencebetweenunwiseandwisewaysofdealingwithstuffthathappens.Therearelotsofproblems,bothbigandsmall,ineveryone’slife—includingyours,too,ofcourse.Wecannevergetridofthementirely(thoughwetryhard),butwecanallgetbetterathowwedealwithourproblems.

Wecantrynottogetangrysooften,trytoshoutless,andtrynottopanicorhurtthepeoplewelove.Philosophytriestohelpusactmorewiselywhenfacingtheproblemsinourlivesthatwecan’tdomuchabout.

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UNWISERESPONSES

Accuseyourbrotherofcheating(thoughyouknowtheydidn’treally)

Telleveryonehowmuchyouhatethegameyouwereplaying

Feelthatit’sincrediblyimportantthatyoulost,andthatyouwon’tgetoveritforages

orWISERESPONSES

Rememberit’sonlyagame,andthatwhetheryouhavegoodlucksaysnothingaboutwhat

you’relikeasaperson

Remindyourselfthatyou’reboundtowinsomeothertimeandthatthereareother,

moreimportant,thingsinyourlifeUNWISERESPONSES

Behorriblebacktothem

Feelthatmaybeyoudeservetobetreatedbadly

orWISERESPONSES

Wonderwhatmightbeupsettingthem

Tellthemcalmlythattheyhurtyourfeelings,andaskwhat’swrong

UNWISERESPONSES

Keeponaskingwhenyou’llgetthere

Telleveryonethatyouarevery,verybored

Complainthatthejourneyistoolongeverycoupleofminutes

orWISERESPONSES

Admittoyourselfthatit’sgoingtotakeagesnomatterwhatyoudo

Lookatthingsoutofthewindowandmakeupagameorstory

Designtheperfecthouseorsubmarineinyourheadtopassthetime

UNWISERESPONSES

Shoutabouthowdisgustingitis

Throwitonthefloor

Refusetoeatit

orWISERESPONSES

Politelyexplainwhatyouwouldprefertohaveinstead

Offertohelppreparesomethingelseanothertime

Keepinmindthatwhoevermadedinnerdidn’tmeantodisappointyou,andthatitmighthurttheir

feelingsifyoucomplain

UNWISERESPONSES

Tearitupandstamponit

Promisenevertodoanotherdrawingagain

orWISERESPONSES

Tryagain—andeventuallyyouwilldoitbetter

Makeafeatureofthemistake.Youcouldturnasmudgeintoashadoworaninkblotintoaspider—sometimes,whatwethinkofasan‘error’canbethestartofsomethingeven

moreinterestingUNWISERESPONSES

Screamabouthowunfaireverythingis

Slamyourbedroomdoor

orWISERESPONSES

Rememberthatlifeisverylong—youwillbeabletostayuplateeventually

Focusonallthefunthingsthatwillhappentomorrow,thengetupearlyandhaveaninterestingmorning

Philosophyhasbeengoingonforaverylongtimeallroundtheworldbecausepeoplehavealwaysneededhelpwithshoutingandpanickingabitless.They’vealwaysneededsomehelpwithunderstandinglifeandhowbesttodealwithit.Overtheyears,philosophershavecomeupwithalotofusefulideasthatprovidethishelp.Here,intherestofthisbook,aretwenty-sixofourfavouritewiseideas.

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BIGIDEA#1

Itsoundsoddtosayit,butmaybeyoudon’tknowyourselfverywell.Ofcourseyouknowlotsofthingsaboutyourself—youknowwhatageyouare,thecolourofyoureyesandwhatyouliketohaveforlunch—butsomethingsarehardtoknow.Maybeyou’veneverseenthebackofyourears,forinstance,andprobablyyoudon’tknowmuchaboutyourEustachiantubeseither(thosearethetubesthatgofrominsideyourearstothebackofyournose).Thesesortofthingsdon’tactuallymattermuch,buttherearemoreimportantthingsyoumightnotknowaboutyourself,whichyoushould:thingsaboutyourfeelings.It’snotjustyou—everyonehasdifficultyunderstandingtheirfeelings.

Thisisbecauseofafunnythingaboutthewayyourbrain(andeveryoneelse’s)works:yourbrainisverygoodatnoticingthatyouhaveafeeling.Youknowperfectlywellthatyoufeelupsetorworriedorexcited.Butyourbrainisnotsogoodatseeingwhyyoufeelthatfeeling.Itdoesn’tautomaticallyrememberwhatisupsettingorworryingyou,orwhatyouarereallyexcitedabout.

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Supposeyouhadplannedtobakebiscuitswithyourmumafterschool.You’dbeenlookingforwardtoitallday,butthensheringsandtellsyouthatsomething’scomeupatwork,andshewon’thavetimetomakethebiscuitswithyouafterall.You’redisappointed—youdon’tknowwhattodonow,andeverythingseemsabitboring.Later,whenyourmumcomeshome,youhaveafeelingthatforsomereasonsheisveryannoyingtoday.Sheasksyoutoclearthetablefordinnerandinsteadofgettingonwithityoushout,‘No!’,towhichsheresponds,‘Don’tspeaktomelikethat!’Suddenlybeforeyouknowit,you’vestormedoutofthekitchen,shouting‘Ihateyou,you’resobossy!’

Youhaveabig,powerfulfeeling:‘Iamveryupset!’butyourbraingetsconfusedaboutwhatstartedthefeeling.Itforgetswhyyouarereallyupset.It’snotthatyouhateyourmum,youarejusthurtbecauseyoureallywantedtohaveanicetimewithherandarefeelingverydisappointed.Youdon’treallythinkthatsheisbossy,youareupsetthatsomeoneyoulovewastoobusytopayyouattentionearlier.There’sabigdifferencebetweenfeeling‘mymumissobossy’,andfeeling‘Iwishmymumhadmoretimetobakebiscuitswithme’.Butyourbrainisnotverygoodatseeingthedifference.

Imaginethistimethatyouwantedtoplayfootballwithyouroldersister.Youaskherifshewantstoplay,butshesayssheistiredandcan’tbebotheredrightnow.Yougotoyourroomandtrytoreadabook,butit’snotveryinteresting.Youwanderaboutthehouselookingforsomethingtodo.Thenmaybeyouseeyourlittlebrothermakingapileofbricksonthefloorandyousuddenlybecomeangry.Youkickthebricksoverandhestartstocry.Yourbrainknowsthatyou’reannoyed,butitisnotverygoodatkeepingtrackofwhathasmadeyoufeelthatway.Insteadofrememberingthatyoursisterupsetyou,yourbrainthinksitisyour

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brotherandhisbricksthatyouarecrosswithinstead.Thesearetimeswhenyoudon’tknowyourselfverywell.Notknowingyourselfcausesproblems.Themoreyoutellyourmumshe’sbossy,thelesslikelysheistomakebiscuitswithyou(whichiswhatyoureallywant);gettingmadwithyourlittlebrotherdoesn’tgetyouanyclosertoplayingfootballwithyoursister.

Butthisdoesnothavetobetheendofthestory.Youcangetbetteratknowingyourself.Thebestwaytodothisisbyaskingyourselfquestionsaboutwhatyoufeel.Youcanask:whathappenedearlierthatbotheredme?Wherehasmyupsetcomefrom—maybenotinthelastthreeseconds,butearliertoday,orevenyesterday?

Imaginethatafeelingisabitlikealong,longsnakehangingdownfromabranchofatree.Fromwhereyou’restandingyoucanseethesnake’sheadanditsforkedtongue:that’sthefeelingofbeingupset.Butyoucan’tseethetail,andthetailistherealreasonyoufeelupset.Whatbranchisthetailcurledround?Isitthebossybranchorthebiscuitbranch;isitthelittlebrotherbranchorthefootballbranch?Youhavetofindout.You’retryingtojoinuptheangryheadofthesnakewiththetail.So,whenyouareupsetyoucanask:whereisthetailofthisfeeling?Whatbranchisithangingfrom?

Abigpartofphilosophyisaskingyourselfwhyyoufeelwhatyoudo:whyamIupset?What’sreallybeenbotheringme?Whohasupsetme?Thisisn’tjustsomethingchildrencando—it’ssomethingalotofadultsshouldspendabitmoretimeonaswell.Becausethebetteryouknowyourfeelings,themoreeasilyyoucanexplainwhatyou’regoingthrough.

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Thebig,importantideathatwehavejustlookedat(thatwedon’tknowourselvesverywell)comesfromamancalledSocrates.SocrateslivedinthecityofAthensinGreecemorethantwothousandyearsago.Heworelongrobes(likeeveryoneelseinthosedays)andhadalongbeard—whichwasprobablyrathersmellybecausehewassobusythinkingthatheoftenforgottohaveabath.

Helikedtowalkaboutthecity,meethisfriendsandaskthemquestionsaboutwhattheywereexcitedorworriedorpuzzledabout.Hisideawasthatoftenpeopledonotknowwhytheyhavethethoughtsandfeelingstheydo.Socratesinventedphilosophytohelpusunderstandourselvesbetter.Socrateswasverykeenontheword‘why’.Hewasalwaysaskingpeopletricky‘why’questions:whyareyoufriendswiththisperson?Whydon’tyoulikeso-and-so?Hewasnotbeingmeanorawkward;hereallywantedtohaveaninterestingdiscussion.Hewantedtobecomepeople’s‘thinking-friend’.

YoucanbelikeSocrates,too,bybeingyourownthinking-friend.Allyouhavetodoisaskyourselfquestionsaboutwhatyou’refeeling—whyamIupsetwithmum?Or,whydoIfeellikekickingovermylittlebrother’sbricks?Whenyoudothisyouaredoingsomethingveryspecial.Youarejoininginthebigconversationofphilosophythat’sbeengoingoneversinceSocratessatdownandstartedchattingwithhisfriendsinAthens.

BIGIDEA#2

ThankstoSocrates,ourthinking-friendfromAncientGreece,we’velearntabouthowyoucangettoknowyourselfbetter.However,quiteoftenthesituationisabitdifferent:youmightknowyourselfquitewell,butwhatyoureallywishisthatotherpeopleunderstoodyoubetter.

Thestrangeandimportantthingaboutbeingyou,isthatonlyyouknowwhatyouarethinkingandfeeling.Otherpeoplecannotautomaticallyunderstandwhat’sgoingoninsideyourhead—andtheyneverwill,unlessyoutryhardtoexplainit,normallyusingquiteafewwords.Theycan’tguesswhatyou’rethinkingorhowyoufeel,eventhoughsometimesweallwishthattheycould,andevenimaginethattheydo.

Yourmindislikeabox,withallyourthoughtsandfeelingsinsideit.Youcanseewhat’sintheboxandfeelitstraightaway,butnooneelsehassuchimmediateaccess.Yourthoughtsandfeelingsareasinvisibletootherpeopleastheyarecleartoyou.Thatmeansthere’sabigdanger:

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otherpeoplemaynotunderstandyou,butyouwillbethinkingthattheydo—oratleastthattheyshould.

It’snotthatotherpeoplearemeanorstupidwhentheydon’tunderstandwhat’sgoingoninsideyourhead(eventhoughthat’showitsometimesfeels).It’sjusttheyneedtobetold—andyouneedtotellthem.Itcanbereallydifficultandtiringtodothat,butitneedstobedone.

Whenyouwereababy,grown-upscouldeasilyguesswhatwasinyour‘mind-box’.Therewereonlyeverafewsimplethingsyoumightneedfromotherpeople.Maybeyouwerehungryorsleepyorwantedtoplayagame.Atthattime,youdidnotneedtoexplain.Kindpeopleguessedforyou,andmostofthetimetheygotitright.

Beingababyandhavingpeopleguesswhatyouwerethinkingorfeelingwasnice.Butasyougetolder,itcreatesaproblem:ifyouareusedtokindpeoplebeingabletoguesswhat’sinyourhead,thenyouautomaticallythinkthatitwillalwaysbethisway—ifpeopleareniceandkind,theyshouldbeabletoguessthecontentsofyourmind.However,asyougetolder,thethoughtsandfeelingsinyourmindhavebecomealotmore

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complicatedthantheyusedtobe.Youdon’tjustfeeltired,orhungry,orlikeyouneedtogotothetoilet.Nowyouhavethoughtsaboutalldifferentkindsofthings.Thatmeansthatotherpeoplecan’tusuallyguesswhatyouaretrulythinkingandfeeling.

Supposeyouhavetogotoapartybutyoureallydon’twantto.Youknowtherewillbeaboytherethatyoudonotlike.He’sunfriendly,andyouheardhimsaysomethinghorribleaboutoneofyourfriends.Yourmumkeepstellingyoutohurryuporyou’llbelate,butyoudon’twanttogetreadyandyoudon’twanttogoatall.Sheasksifyou’renotfeelingwellandyoualmostsayyes,butthat’snottherealreason.Yourmumistryingtobepatientbutyoucantellshewantstogosoon.Next,sheasksyouifyouareupsetaboutyourshoes,orifyouarewearingsomethingyoudon’tlike,andyoufeellikeshe’ssuchanidiotforgettingitsowrong.

Allofthishappensbecausesometimesit’seasytoforgettousewords,ortobescaredorembarrassedtousethem.Youwantagrown-uptoguesswhatyou’rethinking,justliketheydidwhenyouwereababy.Yougetangry,annoyedandfrustratedthattheydon’tknowalready.Youfeeltheyarebeingstupidorhorribleiftheydon’tguessright.Youforgetthatit’snottheirfaultthattheydon’tknow—it’sjustthattheycan’tseewhat’sinyourmind.

Sometimesyoumightnotwanttotellsomeonewhatisinyourmindbecauseitcanfeelabitweird.Maybeyoudonotwanttogoswimmingbecauseyoudon’tlikeotherpeopleseeingyourbody(eventhoughyouusedtoloveswimming),oryoudonotwanttovisityourgrandparentsbecauseyoudonotlikeyourgrannyverymuch(eventhoughyouthinkpeoplearesupposedtoliketheirgrannies).Itcanfeellikethesesortsofthingswillsoundveryoddifyousaythemoutloudtosomeoneelse.But

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ifyoudotrytoputthesefeelingsintowords,yourparentsmightactuallyunderstandquitewell.Theywereyoungonceandtheyhavehadlotsofcomplicatedexperiencesintheirlives,too.

Whenyoudon’texplainhowyoufeeltootherpeople,itmakesyoufeellikeyoucan’tescape.Youfeellikenooneunderstandsyou,andthatyouareallalone.Sometimesallyouwanttodoissitinyourroomandcry.Butwhenyoutrytotellpeoplewhat’sinyourmind,itgetsbetter.Theymightn’tbeabletodoexactlywhatyouwant,orevensolveyourproblemcompletely,buttheywillstarttounderstandwhatyou’rethinking,andyouwon’tfeelsolonely.Knowingsomeonegetswhat’sgoingoninsideyourheadfeelsreallynice,andsometimessharingyourproblemcanbealmostasgoodasgettingwhatyouwant.

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ThequestionsofhowwecangetotherpeopletounderstandwhatisonourmindswassomethingthatreallyexcitedaphilosophercalledLudwigWittgenstein.Helivedinthefirsthalfofthe20thcentury,from1889to1951.HewasGermanbutforalotofhislifehelivedandworkedinotherplaces—mainlyEngland.Hisfavouritemealwasbreadandcheeseandhelovedgoingtothecinemaandflyingkites.Hewasveryrichbuthedidalotofjobs:hecleanedhospitals,hetaughtinaschool,hewasagardenerforawhileandhealsotaughtstudentsatuniversity—heevendesignedalovelyhouseforhissisterinVienna.Healwayswantedtobuildanaeroplane,too,butheneverdid.

Wittgensteinlikedspendingtimeonhisown,andhehadalittlehutinthecountrysideinNorwaywherehecouldgotobebyhimselfandthink.Hewasveryinterestedinwhatwecandowithwords.Sometimes,hesaid,wemakepictureswithwords,sothatotherpeoplecanseewhatwearethinkingabout.Imagineyousaid:‘Isawaninterestingdogtoday’.Peopledon’tknowwhatthedogwaslikejustfromthat,soinsteadyoucangivemoredetails:ithadlongfloppyears,averyshorttailandonlythreelegs.Describingwordslikethesehelpotherpeopletomakeapictureintheirheadthat’slikethepictureinyourhead.Wittgensteinsaidthatwhenpeopledon’tunderstandoneanotherit’sbecausethepicturesintheirheadsaren’tsimilarenough.Whensomeonedoesn’tunderstandsomethingthatseemsclearinyourhead,insteadofgettingfrustrated,trytodescribeitmorecarefullyandseeifithelps.

BIGIDEA#3

Thereareallsortsoflovelythingsthatcanhappeninyourlife.Peoplearealwayslookingforwardtothingsthataregoingtohappen,ormakingplanstodothingsthatwillmakethemhappy.However,evenifyouhopesomethingisgoingtohappenthatyouthinkwillmakeyouhappy,oftenonceitdoeshappen,yourealisethatyoudon’tfeelashappyasyouhadexpected!Thishappenstogrown-upsquitealot.

Maybeatonepointyoureallywantedafrisbee.Yousawotherpeopleplayingwithoneanditlookedgreat.But,whenyougotone,youonlyuseditforafewminutesbeforeyourealisedthatactuallyyoudidn’treallylikeitanditwasn’tthatfun.Orperhapsyoureallywantedtopaintthewallsofyourroomyourfavouritecolour—brightyelloworturquoise.Itseemedlikeagreatidea,butafteryouactuallydidit,itturnedouttolookhorribleandyouwishedyouhadneverpainteditinthefirstplace.

Whenthingslikethishappen,andsomethingdoesnotmakeyoufeel

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thewayyouthoughtitwould,itdoesnotmeanthatthereisn’tanythingthatreallywillmakeyouhappy.Itjustshowsthat(likeeveryone)yousometimesfindithardtoknowinadvancewhatwillactuallybeveryniceinreality.

Butwhydoesithappen?Andhowcanyougetthingstoturnoutbetter?Thebigideahereisthatyouhavetostarttoaskalotmorequestionsaboutthethingsyouthinkyouwant.Ratherthanjustwaitingandhopingtogetsomething,youhavetostopandwonderwhetherit’strulytherightthingtobewishingfor.Asever,philosophymeansasking‘why?’andnotgivingupuntilyou’resureoftheanswer—orassureasyoucanbe.

Therearesomethingsthatmakeittrickytofindoutwhatyoureallywant.Oneofthosethingsisthateverybodychanges.Evenjustduringthelastyear,you’veprobablychangedquitealot,sothethingsyoureallywantedthenmightnotbesointerestingtoyounow.Butthethingis,yourbraindoesn’talwayskeepup.Itmaynothavenoticedproperlythatyou’vebeengrowing,soitmightmakeyouthinkthatyoustillwantsomeofthesamethings,eventhoughifyougotthemnow,they’dbeboring,orwouldn’tmakeyouashappyastheymighthavedonebefore.

Anotherreasonwhyknowingwhatyouwantcanbedifficultisthatthingscansoundgreatwhenyouhearaboutthem,butnotactuallybethatnicewhenyouactuallydothemorhavethem.Itprobablysoundsreallycooltosleepinanigloo,butinrealityitwouldprobablyjustbeverydampandcoldandabitcreepy.

However,thebiggestreasonwemakethewrongchoicesisthatweareusuallyveryinfluencedbywhatotherpeoplethink.Maybeyourfriendsareallsayingthatwaterparksaregreat,butactuallyyoudon’tlikethem.

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Thatdoesnotmeanyou’restrange,orthatyoushouldforceyourselftolikethem,andpretendyouwanttogo.Thetruthisthatyouarenotexactlythesameasyourfriends,andtheyarenotthesameasyou,sowhatmakesthemhappymightnotbeenjoyableforyou.

Itsoundsabitoddatfirst,butdecidingwhatyouwantforyourbirthdayorforChristmasisaphilosophicalquestion.Youshouldtaketimeoverit.Thequestion,‘WhatdoIreallywant?’isahuge,importantissue—andbig,importantthingstaketimetoanswer.Itisnotjustchildrenandteenagerswhofinditdifficulttoworkoutwhattheyreallywant.Grown-upshavethisproblemalltheirlivestoo.Childrenandadultsarenotasdifferentastheysometimesseem.

Advertsarealwaysencouragingustothinkthatwewantmorethings,andtryingtotellusthatwewillbehappyifwebuythem.Forexample,anadvertmightshowapictureofsomeonewithaveryexpensivenewwatchlookingreallyhappy.Thismakesourbrainthink:‘IfIgetthatwatchI’llfeelasgoodasthepersonintheadvert.’Maybeitreallyisagreatwatch,buttheproblemisthatfeelinghappyisnotactuallyconnectedtohavingagreatwatch.Itismuchmoreaboutthings

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likegettingonwellwithyourfriends,enjoyingschooloryourwork,andgettingplenty of rest and enough exercise. The watch itself can not make a bigdifference. We really want something, because we want to feel good aboutourselves.But thingscannotmakeushappy, it’s experiencesand relationshipsthatdothat.Wemightthinkthatawatchoranewpairofshoesistheanswer,butitisn’treally.Thesamethinghappenswithcars,handbags,privatejets,newphonesorevengoingtoafancyrestaurant.It’sweirdtothinkhowmuchofthisgoesonintheworld.

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Aphilosopherwhowasveryinterestedastowhyit’shardtoknowwhatwereallywantwasaFrenchwomancalledSimonedeBeauvoir.ShewasborninParisin1908,whentheveryfirstcarswerebeingmade,anddiedin1986,bywhichtimenearlyeveryonehadacar.Shelikedpartiesandwearingniceclothes,andlovedtravelling.Shewrotemanybooksduringherlife,andwasverygoodfriendswithanotherphilosopherwhowe’llbemeetinglater—Jean-PaulSartre(seepage104).Theyatelunchtogethernearlyeveryday,andwouldtalkaboutthebooksthattheywerewriting.DeBeauvoirhadlotsoffriendsandoftenincludedtheminherbooks(whichsometimesannoyedthem).Shethoughtabouthoweasilywestopfocusingonwhatwereallywantandinsteadgoalongwithwhatotherpeopleseemtowant.Sherealisedthatwe’resoawareofotherpeople’sopinionsthatweforgettoproperlyaskourselveswhatwereallylike.Shethoughtthatfindingoutwhatyoureallywantwasthemostimportantjobinyourlife.

DeBeauvoirlovedtoshop,butshewasn’tinterestedinthingsjustbecausetheywereexpensiveorfancy.Infact,shewasespeciallykeenoncheapshops.WhenshewasinNewYorktogivetalksshelovedgoingto‘dime’shopswhereeverythingcostjusttencents.DeBeauvoirthoughtthatwhatwereallywantistoenjoyourlives,butwemakethemistakeofthinkingthattheobjectswebuyarekeytoourenjoyment.However,mostofthetimewhatmattersmuchmoreiswhetherwefeellikewehaveenoughtimeandthefreedomtodothingswelike.

Rememberthiswhenyou’rethinkingaboutwhatyouwant.Askyourselfifyoureallywantit,orwhetheryoujustthinkyoudo.Keepinmindthatevenifyoudon’tgetexactlywhatyouwant,itmightnothavebeenthethingthatwouldmakeyouhappyafterall.

BIGIDEA#4

Itishorriblewhenpeople(especiallyparents)getgrumpyorannoyed.Sometimestheyslamdoorsorshout,orgrowlwhensomeonespeakstothem.Whenpeopleactthisway,itcanfeellikeit’syouthey’recrosswith,andthatmakesyoufeelbad—anditcanseemunfairaswell.But,eventhoughitseemslikeit,maybeit’snotreallyyoutheyareupsetwith.

There’sanoldstorycalledAndroclesandtheLion,whichissetinAncientEgypt.Inthestory,alioncomesprowlingroundavillageatnight,roaringterriblysothateveryoneisveryfrightened.Theythinkthelionisangrywiththem.Thenoneday,amancalledAndroclesiswalkingoutinthecountrysideanditstartstorain.Hetakesshelterinacave—wherethelionlives.Androclesthinksthelionisgoingtoeathim,butthenheseesthatithasathorninitspaw.Theliondidn’treallyhatethepeopleinthevillage.Itwasroaringsomuchbecausethethornhurt,buttheydidn’trealise.

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Thestoryissayingsomethinginteresting.Angrypeople(liketheangrylion)areusuallybotheredaboutsomethingthatyoucan’tsee.Thereisoftenathornintheresomewhere.

It’saverystrangeandinterestingthought:wefeellikeweknowpeopleverywell,butactuallyweonlyknowalittlebitabouteachother’slives.There’salotwedon’tsee.Yourparentsdon’treallyknowwhatit’sbeenlikeforyoualldayatschool—thereareprobablylotsofthingsthatyounevergetaroundtotellingthem.It’sthesameforthem.Theyseembigandstrongathomeandyouknowthemsowellinsomeways,butitispossiblethatdifficultthingshappentothemduringthedaywhenyouarenotthere.

Androcles,inthestory,wasunusual:heactuallygottoseethethorninthelion’spaw,soherealisedwhythelionwassobadtempered.Butmostofthetimeyouhavetoimaginethethingsthatmightbehurtingotherpeople—thethingsyoucan’tseeorknow.Maybeyourmumordadhadadifficultmeetingatwork,ortheywereverybusyalldayandarereallytired.They’regrumpybecauseofthat,notbecauseofyou.Themeetingorthebusydayislikethethorninthelion’spaw.Becauseyouweren’twiththematworkorathomeduringtheday,youmightnotknowaboutthereasonwhythey’refeelingcross,soyoufeelit’syoutheyareannoyedwith.Butprobablyithasnothingtodowithyouatall.

It’simportantforallofustokeepthinkingaboutthethornswecan’tsee.Don’tgetupsetbecausesomeoneisinabadmoodorsnappedatyou—instead,trytoimaginewhatmightbetheproblem,andfindawaytohelp.

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Plentyofphilosophershavebeeninterestedinhoweasyitisforustomisunderstandotherpeople—includingthinkingthey’reangrywithuswhenitisreallysomethingelsethatisbotheringthem.OneofthemostimportantwasamancalledIbnSina,whoissometimescalledAvicenna.

IbnSinawasbornaboutathousandyearsagoandlivedmostofhislifeinIran(whichwascalledPersiaatthattime).Hewasascientistandaverysuccessfuldoctor,andalotofprincesandrulerswantedhimtobetheiradviser.SinawasadevoutMuslim,buthewasverycuriousaboutalldifferentkindsofideasandreligions,andspentalotoftimestudyingtwoGreekphilosophersinthisbook,SocratesandAristotle.IbnSinaworkedextremelyhard.Heoftenstayeduplatetoreadandwriteandstudy.

IbnSinathoughtthateveryonehastwopartstothem:anoutsidepart,whicheveryonecansee,andaninsidepart(hecalleditthe‘soul’),whichonlytheyknow.Welearnaboutotherpeoplefromwhattheydoandsay,butoftenwedon’tseeenoughofthemtogetatruepictureofwhattheyarereallylike.Itisamazingthatsomeonewholivedsolongagohadsuchgoodandusefulideasaboutwhyyoumightnotproperlyunderstandpeople—andwhyyoumightthinktheyareannoyedwithyou,whenreallytheyareupsetaboutsomethingcompletelydifferent.Thatthingmightbesomethingthatyoucan’tsee,butit’ssomethingyoucanlearntoimagine.

BIGIDEA#5

Somechildrenaren’tverynicetotheirbrothersandsisters,ortotheirclassmatesatschool.Theycallthemnames,pickonthemortrytospoiltheirfun.Theymightpretendtobeyourfriendandthensayveryunkindthingsbehindyourback.Itseemslikealltheywantisforotherpeopletofeelsmallandstupid.Itcanbereallyupsettingandfrighteningtobeonthereceivingendofthiskindofbullying.Butwhyarepeoplemean?Whydoesonepersonwanttomakeanotherpersonfeelmiserable?

Theanswerisverysurprising:itisbecausetheyfeelsmallandmiserableinsideofthemselves.Youwouldn’tknowbylookingatthem—theymightlookstrongandconfidentandverypleasedwiththemselves.Theymightseemtolaughalot—maybeatyou.

Butifyouthinkaboutit,noonewhowasreallyhappywouldwanttomakeanotherpersonunhappy.Peoplewhoareactuallystrongandconfidentarealmostalwaysgentleandkindtoothers.Ifsomeoneismeanandabullyitisbecauseathome,orinthepast,somethingorsomeonehas

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frightenedthemalot.Probablyyou’llneverknowthedetails,butyoucanimagine.Maybetheyhaveanolderbrotherwhopicksonthem.Maybetheirmumisalwaysbossingthemabout.Maybetheirparentsshoutateachother.Insidetheirhead,thispersonwhoseemssobraveandfearless,actuallyfeelssadandworried.They’retoofrightenedtoletanyoneseehowweaktheyreallyfeel,sotheytrytomakethemselvesfeelbetterbymakinganotherpersonsuffer.

Thosewhohavebeenhurt,hurtothers.Understandingthisdoesnotimmediatelysolvetheproblemifsomeoneisbeingnastytoyou,butitcanstillhelpalittle.Itcanhelpyoutorememberthatyoudon’tdeservetobetreatedbadly,thatit’snotsomethingyou’vedoneandthatthereisn’tanythingwrongwithyou.Thebestwaytounderstandabullyorameanpersonistoputyourselfintheirposition.Thinkaboutatimewhenyouhaven’tbeenverynicetosomeone.Mostpeopleareabitmeantosomeoneatsomepoint,orhaveatleastwantedtobehorrible,eveniftheydon’tactuallydoorsayanything.It’snotbadorwrong,it’sjustlife.Nowthinkaboutwhyyouweremeantothatperson—it’sprettymuchalwaysbecausesomethingelsewasbotheringyouthatyoudidn’tknowhowtoputright.

Forinstance,itisquitecommonforolderchildrentogetabitnastyifthereisanewbabyinthefamily.Grown-upsthinkbabiesareverysweet.Everyonepaysthemattentionandsayshowlovelytheyare,andparentsspendalltheirtimelookingafterthem.Ifyouareabitolderandyourparentshaveanewbaby,itisnotsurprisingifyougetcross.Youmightfeellikepeopleshouldbepayingmoreattentiontoyou.Maybeyouwanttoshowotherpeoplethatyou’realsoimportant—thatinfactyou

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aremuchbetterthanthisboringbabywhoeveryonelovessomuch.Soyoufindsomeonewhoisweakerthanyou,andabitbabyish,andyoustartbeingmeantothem.Itmakesyoufeelpowerful,anditmakesyoufeelbettertoknowthatsomeoneelseisfeelingbadlikeyoudo.Ofcourse,doingthisisn’tveryniceatall,butitisunderstandable.Sometimeswhenwearesosadandangry,theredoesn’tfeellikeanythingelsewecando.Realisingwhyyoumightnotbeverynicetootherpeoplesometimeswillhelpyoutoseehowsomeoneelsecouldbenotverynicetoyou.

Understandingdoesn’tmakeeverythingsuddenlyperfect.Ifsomeoneisbullyingyouorhurtingyou,theproblemwillnotgoawayjustbecauseyouareabletounderstandthattheymustbeveryunhappyinside.Philosophydoesnotsolveallyourproblemsinonego.Butwhenyouunderstandthingstheystopbeingsofrightening.Andthat’sagoodstart.

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Writedownalistofthepeoplewhoaremeantoyou.Thenwritewhyyouthinktheymightbeunhappy.Howmighttheirmeannessandunhappinessberelated?

OnephilosopherwhothoughtalotaboutwhypeoplearemeantoeachotherwasZeraYacob.HewasborninEthiopiainAfrica,aroundfourhundredyearsago,in1599.Hisparentswerepoorandhewasbroughtuponasmallfarm,butwhenhegrewuphebecameateacher.

AtthattimeEthiopiawassplitintodifferentreligiousgroupswhowerebitterlyopposedtoeachother,butZeraYacobdidn’twanttotakesides.Somepeopletoldliesabouthimtothekingandhehadtogointohiding.Fortwoyearshelivedonhisowninacave.Thatmightsoundprettyawful,butheratherlikedspendingtimealoneandhesaidhelearnedmorebythinkinginhiscavethanhehadwhenhewasatschool.EventuallyanewkingcametopowerandZeraYacobcouldleavehiscaveandgotoliveinatown.Hefoundworkteachingthechildrenofarichbusinessman—hewasaverygoodteacherandthefamilywerekindtohim.Laterhegotmarriedandhadafamily.

ZeraYacobthoughtthatlifeisalwaysquitedifficultforeveryone.Everyonesuffers.That’sasadthought,anditshouldmakeuskindandsympathetictoeachother.Butsomepeoplebecomemeanandcruelbymistake.Theythinkthatiftheyhurtothersitwilltakeawaytheirownpain.ZeraYacobbelievedthatifwecanadmitourownsadnessitwillmakeuslessangrywithotherpeople—andtheamountofpainintheworldwilldecrease.

BIGIDEA#6

Imaginethatyouarereallylookingforwardtosomething.Maybeit’syourbirthdaysoon,oryou’regoingonholiday.Youstarttoimaginehowniceitwillbe.Everythingwillbewonderful.Youwillgetallthepresentsyouwant,oryou’llbeabletoswimatthebeacheveryday.Everyonewillbehappy,andnothingwillgowrong.But,whenitreallyisyourbirthdayoryoureallydogoonholiday,somethingisnotright.Yougetsomenicepresents,butsomeboringonesyoudidn’twant,too.Onholidayyoudogettoswim,butnoteveryday:onedayyouhavetogotoanartgallerywithyourmum,andonanotherdayitrainsnon-stop.Yourparentsgetannoyedwhenyoukeepasking,‘Canwegotothebeachnow?’Youfeelgrumpyandirritated.Youaredisappointed.Youthoughtitwasallgoingtobesogreat—andnowitisn’t.Butthefunnythingis,yourbirthdayandtheholidaywerenotreallyterribleatall.Theywereprettygood.It’sjustthattheyweren’tasgoodasyou’dimagined.

Sometimesitalsoworkstheotherwayround.Youmightimaginethatsomethingisgoingtobehorrible.Maybeyou’regettinganewteacherandyou’veheardthatthey’rereallynasty.Apparentlytheyshoutalotand

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neverletyoudoanythinginterestingorfun.Butwhenthenewteacherarrives,theyturnouttobequitealotnicerthanyouhadbeenexpecting.Theydoshoutalittle,buttheyarekindoffunnyaswell.Theyarequitestrict,buttheyalsoteachyouhowtobebetteratartandletyoudosomefunscienceexperiments.You’dbeenexpectingthemtobehorrible,soit’sanicesurprisewhenthey’renotthatbadafterall.Eitherway,whetheryougetgrumpyorfeelpleasedaboutsomethingdependsalotonyourexpectations.Ifyouexpectthingstobeperfect,it’snosurprisethatyoumightbedisappointed.Ifyouexpectthingstobebad,youquiteoftengetanicesurprise.

Thereisagoodtrickyoucanplaytomakesureyouarenicelysurprisedmoreoftenthanyouaredisappointed.Ifyoutrynottogetyourhopesuptoomuch,thenusuallythingswillturnoutbetterthanyouexpected.You’llbeespeciallypleased,withoutreallyhavingtodoanythingatall.Andevenifitisalittledisappointing,remember:itcouldalwaysbeabitworse.Don’tworrythough—imaginingthingsgoingbadlydoesn’tmakeanythingbadhappen.Ifyouimaginegettingalumpofcoalforabirthdaypresentitdoesn’tmeananyonewillactuallygiveyouone.Ifyouimaginemissingthebusinthemorningitdoesnotmeanyouwillmissit.Howyouimaginethingsinthefuturedoesn’tmakethemhappen.Butitdoessomethingelse:itprotectsandpreparesyouagainstsadnesswhenthingsdo(sometimes)gowrong.

Thewayyouimaginethefuturecanmakethedifferencebetweengettingfuriouswheneversomethinggoesworsethanyouthoughtitwould,andgettinganicesurprisewheneversomethingisabitnicerthanyouhadexpected.Expectinglessisabigpartofwhatitmeanstobeaphilosopher.

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ThereoncewasaphilosopherwholivedalongtimeagoinAncientRomewhospentalotoftimethinkingaboutwhypeoplegetangry.HisnamewasSeneca.Senecawasabusinessmanandapolitician;howeverhewasalsoanimportantphilosopher(sometimesweforgetthatyoucanbeaphilosopheraswellasbeingotherthings,too).

Atonepoint,Senecawasgiventhemostdifficultjobintheworld—hewasappointedtutortoareallyterrifyingyoungmancalledNero,wholaterbecameemperor.IfNerogotangrybecausesomeonedidn’tlaughatoneofhisjokes,itwasn’tunusualforhimtostabtheotherpersonorthrowtheminprison.SenecarealisedthattheproblemwithEmperorNerowasthathisexpectationsweretoohigh.Neroexpectedeverythingtobeperfectandconstantlylosthistemperwhenitwasn’t.

Senecatoldhimthatgettingangryandupsetwascausedbyoptimism.Optimismmeansthinkingthatthingsarealwaysgoingtogoverywellandexactlyasyouwant.Insteadofbeinganoptimist,Senecathoughtthatthebestwaytostaycalmandbehappierwastobecomeapessimist.Thatis,someonewhoassumesthatthingswillprobablyturnoutquitebadlyandgenerallyhasanegativeviewofthefuture.It’saninterestingandstrangeidea:thatmaybeourhappinessdoesnotdependonwhatactuallyhappens,butonourexpectations.Pessimistscansometimesbehappierthanoptimists,becausepessimistsarealwaysdiscoveringthatthingsaremuchnicerandbetterthantheythoughttheywouldbe.

BIGIDEA#7

Whenyouareinabadmood,youusuallywanttoblamesomeone.Youfeelfedupandannoyedandyourbrainlooksaroundtoseewhosefaultitcouldbe—yourteacher,yourparents,yourfriends,maybeyourbrotherorsister.Butsometimesit’snotreallyanyone’sfault.Instead,there’saverydifferentkindofexplanation.Nothingisreallywrongatall,youarejustfeelinggrumpyandbotheredbecauseyouhaven’tbeengettingenoughsleepandyouaretired.

Imagineyouarerunningandyoucometoahill.Ifyouhavejuststartedrunningandyou’vegotlotsofenergy,thehillisn’taproblem.Youdon’tmind.Itwillbefuntoseehowfastyoucanrunupit.Butifyou’vebeenrunningforquitealongwayalreadyandyourlegsacheandyou’reoutofbreath,thehillwillseemhorrible.Youcan’tfaceit.It’sexactlythesamehillbutyoufeelverydifferentlyaboutit—anditalldependsonhowtiredyouare.Itisthesamewithlotsofthings,andnotonlyphysicalthingseither.Maybeyouhavetodoquiteadifficultmathssum.Ifyou’refeelingfullofenergy,youdon’tmind.It’strickybutyoucanhaveago.Butifyou

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areverytired,itfeelstoohard.Itmakesyouangryandupsetthatyouhavetodoit.It’sthesamesum.Thedifferenceisthatyou’retired.

Beingtoldthat‘maybeyouarejusttired’canbereallyirritating.Usuallyitdoesn’tfeellikethat’sthereasonwhyyouareinbadmood.Thetroubleisthatyoucanbetiredbutnotnotice.Onceagain,yourbraindoesn’trealisewhat’sreallygoingon.

Itisnotonlybeingtiredthatcanputyouinabadmood.Itcouldalsobethatyouarehungry,orhaven’tdrunkenoughwater,oryouhavespenttoomuchtimeindoorsandhavenotbeenrunningaroundenough.Itcouldevenbethatwinterhasbeengoingontoolongandyouhaven’thadenoughsunshine.Allthesethingsmakeadifferencetothemoodyouarein.

Wedon’tusuallythinkaboutthesethingswhenwe’reinabadmood,andinstead,weimaginethatthereasonwefeelupsetisbecauseofsomethingsomeoneelsehasdone.Wegetsowoundupthatwewanttoshoutatthemandtellthemhowhorridtheyare.Butwhatwillactuallymakeusfeelbettermightbearest,aglassofwater,somelunchoraplayoutside.Itisodd—butinteresting—thatyoucanforgettheremightbeverysimplereasonsyou’refeelingupset.Thegoodthingaboutsimplereasons,though,isthattheycanbefixedsimply,too.Itisn’tthateasytomakeupwithafriendafteranargument,getyourmumtobelessbusywithworkorsuddenlytobecomebrilliantatsingingorbasketball—butyoucangetaglassofwater.Youcan’tmakethatbullyatschoollikeyou,butyoucaneatasandwich.

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Adultsareespeciallybadatseeingthattheymightbeinabadmoodjustbecausetheyaretired.Adultsliketothinkthatiftheyfeelupsetitmustbeforabig,importantreason—probablysomethingtodowithpoliticsorworldaffairs,orbecausetheirbossatworkismuchmorestupidthantheycouldeverbe.It’shardforthemtorememberthatabadfeelingcanhaveaverysimpleexplanation:maybetheyjuststayeduptoolatelastnightorshouldurgentlyhavesomeorangejuice.

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Whenyousuddenlyfeelsad,beforeyoudespair,seeifthefollowingmightapply:Ihavenothadanythingtoeatforafewhours

Iwenttobedverylatelastnight

Ihadareallybusydayatschooltoday

Addinafewother‘small’explanationsforfeelinglikeyouhaveverybigproblems:

ThephilosopherMatsuoBashowasinterestedinthewaythatsmall,simplethingscanmakeabigdifferencetoourlives.HelivedinJapanoverthreehundredyearsago.Hecamefromaveryordinaryfamilyandwhenhewasquiteyoungheworkedasaservantinthehouseofalocalnobleman,whowasaverygoodemployerandhelpedalotwithMatsuo’seducation.Whenhewasolderhelivedonhisowninasmallhutandwentforlongwalksinthecountryside.Hehadacareerasapoet,writingvery,veryshortpoemscalledhaikus.Theywereextremelypopular,sohewasabletomakequitealotofmoney.ButBashodidn’twanttoliveafancylife.Hewasveryfondofnature,particularlylikingtreesandflowers,andhelovedwatchingfrogsinanearbypond.MatsuoBashothoughtthatweoftengetbotheredandupsetbecauseweforgetaboutsimplethings.Wethinkthatitmustonlybebig,complicatedthingsthatareimportant.

MatsuoBasholikedtotellpeoplehowmuchheenjoyedlittlethings:havingacupofteainthemorning,eatingsimplevegetablesonawinter’sday(herecommendedleeks),listeningtoabirdchirpingaway,lookingatcloudsorwatchingraindrops.Hewasanimportantphilosopherwhoremindspeople,eventoday,ofthestrangefactthatourmood,andourfeelingofwhetherlifeispleasingorhorrible,candependonsuchtinythings.Theyseemsosmall,buttheymakeabigdifferencetous.

BIGIDEA#8

Whenpeoplesayhurtfulthingstoeachother,theyoftenusetheinsultthatsomeoneisn’t‘normal’.Theycallthemcrazy,weirdorafreak—therearelotsofdifferentwaysofsayingit,butthey’realltryingtosuggestthatsomeoneisbadforbeingdifferent.

Thethingis,peopledon’treallyknowverymuchaboutwhatisnormal.Everyonehasanideaof‘normal’,butit’sprobablyverymuchmistaken.Maybeinonegroupoffriendsit’snormaltobeintocarsoraparticularpopgroup,butthatisonlynormalamongthatsmallgroupofpeople—anditislikelythatnotallofthemarereallythatinterestedanyway,theymightsimplypretendtofitinwithwhattheythinkeveryoneelselikes.Inanothergroupoffriendsitmightbenormaltolikecompletelydifferentthings.

Whatseemsnormalcanchangealotaswell.Itusedtobenormalthatchildrendidn’tgotoschool—instead,mostofthemstayedathomeandworkedwiththeirparents,usuallyonafarm.Theywouldthinkitwasverystrangetositinaclassroomandlearnabouttheworld.Buteventoday,

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what’snormalinoneschoolmightbestrangeinanotherone.AtschoolinJapanthechildrenchattogetherabouttheirpetrobotdogs,butprobablyifyoudidthatpeoplewouldthinkyouwereweird.Ifpeoplethinkyou’renotquitenormal,youmightjustbeabitunlucky—maybethethingsyoulikearenotverypopularinthecorneroftheworldyouhappentoliveinrightnow,buttheywouldn’tseematallstrangeifyoulivedsomewhereelse,oratadifferenttime.

Infact,itisnormaltobequiteweird.Atfirstthatsoundscrazy.Howcanitbenormaltobestrange?Butitmakessensewhenyouthinkaboutit.What‘normal’meansis‘likeotherpeople’.Butwhatareotherpeoplereallylike?Itismuchtrickiertoanswerthisquestionthanyoumightsuppose.Aswe’vealreadydiscoveredearlierinthisbook,youdon’tgettoseethewholeofanyone.Everyoneismuchmorestrangeandinterestingthantheymayseem:theyhaveweirdthoughtsinthemiddleofthenightthattheynevertellotherpeopleabout.Whenthey’reontheirowntheydofunnythingsthattheywouldneverdoinfrontofotherpeople.Theyactcompletelydifferently,too,whentheyarewiththeirgrannyortheirmumthanthewaytheydoatschoolwiththeirfriends.That’sbecausethewaysomeoneisatschoolisonlyalittlepartofwhotheyreallyare.Youknowthis,becausethat’swhatyouarelike.Otherchildrenatschoolarereallymuchmoreunusualthantheyappear.Ifyoufeeloddorweirdsometimes,don’tworry—youprobablyhavealotmoreincommonwithothersthanyouthink.Itisjustthattheothersarekeepingtheodderbitsofthemselveshidden.

Youmightthink:‘Idonotcareaboutbeingnormal.Whatissogoodaboutbeingnormalanyway?’It’sagoodquestion.Alotofphilosophersstartedtohavegoodideaswhentheystoppedcaringsomuchaboutwhatothersthought.Maybeyouwill,too.

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AlbertCamuswasaFrenchphilosopherwhowasborninAlgeriain1913.Atthattime,AlgeriawaspartofFrance.Hisparentswereverypoor—hisfatherworkedonafarmandhismotherwasacleaner.However,thelocalschoolwasverygoodandhegotanexcellenteducation.Helovedgoingtothebeachandwasverytalentedatfootball—hewasagoalkeeperandtheteamheplayedforwashugelysuccessful.Hefeltthathelearnedmoreaboutphilosophyfromplayingfootballthanfromallthebooksheread.

Whenhewasolder,CamusmovedtoParis.Heworkedasanewspaperjournalistandlikedgoingtocafés.Camuswasinterestedinthestrangefeelingsthatgooninsidepeople—especiallywhentheyareexcitedorsad.Oneofhisbiggestaimswastoconvincepeopletoworryabitlessabouthowotherpeoplejudgethem.Doingthisyourselfcanmakeyoufeellessworried,lesslonely,andgiveyoutheconfidencetoexplorenewthings.

BIGIDEA#9

Inlotsofways,adultscanseemveryimpressive.Theymayseemtohavealltheanswers,butthereisabigsecretaboutthem:theydonotknoweverything.Usuallyanadultonlyknowsaboutafewthings.Oneadultmightknowalotabouttreesorengines,butknowverylittleabouthowaphonereallyworksorthehistoryofthekingsandqueensofEngland.Anothermightknowalotaboutbooksorelectricity,butverylittleaboutAntarcticaorsports.

Infact,therearelotsandlotsofthings—evenimportantthings—thatabsolutelynooneknows.Noonereallyunderstandshowtomakecitiesverynice,forinstance.Iftheydidknow,allthecitiesintheworldwouldbebeautiful,cleanandlovelytolivein.Butmostofthemarenot.Nooneknowstheverybestwaytorunaschool,either—that’swhytherearelotsofschoolsintheworldthataren’tverygoodandwhynoteveryteacheriswonderful.Thisisn’tbecauseadultsarestupid,butbecausetheproblemsaresodifficult.Ifyouwanttoseeagrown-uplookingconfusedyoucouldaskthemwhattimeis.Not‘whatisthetime?’(theywillprobablyknowthat!),butwhatistimeitself?Thatisadifficultquestion,isn’tit?Or,how

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aboutaskingthemwhysomejokesarefunnierthanothers,orwhetheradogknowsthatitisadog.Wepromiseyoutheywillnotknow.Hardlyanyonereallyknowsanythingaboutthosethings.

Adultsdisagreeaboutahugerangeofissues:howshouldthecountryberun?Whatshouldwedoaboutpollution?Whoshouldgetthebiggestsalaries?Youcanhaveconversationsaboutthesethings,too,anditdoesnotmatterifyoudon’tknowforsure—becauseadultsdon’tknoweither.

Adultsdoknowalot.But—andit’simportanttokeepremindingyourselfofthis—they’reoftenveryunsureaboutalotofreallyimportantthingsintheirownlives.Theycanseemveryimpressive:they’vegotajob,theyaremarriedtosomeoneandtheymightownahouseandacar.Inside,though,theyprobablydonotreallyknowwhytheygotmarriedtothisperson(maybeitwouldhavebeenbetterwithsomeoneelse),theywonderiftheyshouldbedoingadifferentjobandtheyworryaboutpayingthebills.Perhapstheydon’tknowwhethertheyshouldaskforapromotion

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atworkorwhereitwouldbegoodtogoonholiday.Theyfeeltheyhavetomakealotofbigdecisionsbuttheydon’tknowifthey’remakingtherightones.That’swhytheyoftenlookveryserious,andsometimesgetsnappy.

Oneday,youwillbeanadulttoo.Itmightseemquitealongwayoffnow,butthestrangethingisthatyouwon’tfeelsoverydifferentfromthewayyoudoatthemoment.You’llstillbeyou,eventhoughyou’llhaveajob,willhavelearnttodriveacarandmightevenhavechildrenofyourown.Youwillhavedoneallthesehugethings,butthere’llstillbelotsofthingsyoudon’tknow—andthatyoumayneverknow.

Itisgoodtohavealittlepartofyourbrainthatconstantlykeepsinmindthattherearelotsofimportantthingsthatadultsdon’tknow.Thisdoesnotmeanthatadultsarestupid(eventhoughitisquitenicetoimaginetheyhavethinkingproblems,too),itjustmeansthattheyarethesameaseveryoneelse.Rememberingthatadultsdonotknoweverythingcanmakesomeofthemalittlelessfrightening.Itmakesyoufeelabitsorryforthem,andithelpsyoutoseethatyouarenotsodifferent,andthatyourideasare,atpoints,justasimportantastheirs.Wecanactuallybequitenicetoeachotherwhenwerealisethatwe’reallfacedwithsimilarproblems.Andwecanallhaveagoatthinking—whichiswhatendsupmakingthewholeworldcleverer.

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Makealistofthingsyouwouldliketofindoutmoreabout.Forexample:Howmuchdoanimalsreallyunderstand?

Whydowedream?

Istherelifeonotherplanets?

Istheinternetbadorgood?

RenéDescarteswasaFrenchphilosopherwhowasbornin1596andlivedmostofhislifeinParisandAmsterdam.Hehadalittlepointedbeardandoftenworealargeblackhat.Hewasverygoodatmaths,buthealsospentquiteafewyearsasasoldier.Whathelikedbestwasthinking.Heoftenusedtostayinbedallmorningjusttothink.Hisfriendsthoughthewasverylazy—thoughactuallyhewasn’tatall,becausethinkingishardwork.Ononeextremelycolddayhesatinalargeoven(itwasn’tveryhotatthetime)andthoughtabouthowlittleanyonereallyknowsforsure.Hewasamazedbyhowmuchpeoplethinktheyknow,butdon’treally.Whatpeopledon’trealiseishowsomuchofwhattheybelieveisfactisreallyjustanopinion.Andopinionscanquiteeasilybewrong.

Descarteswasverygoodatfeelingpuzzled.Hethoughtthatbeingclevermeantbeingabletothinkandwonderaboutalotofthings.Onethingthatreallypuzzledhimwaswhetheradogcanthinkforitself.Doesadogthinkabouthowfarawaythemoonis,oraskitselfaquestion?Hewasalsoverypuzzledbythedifferencebetweenathoughtandaphysicalthing.Youcansaythatyourfingeris6.5cmlong,andyoucanmeasureittoseewhetherthatistrue.Butyoucan’tusearulertomeasureanidea.Descartesneverquiteworkedoutagoodanswertothesepuzzles—buthebecamefamousforaskinginterestingquestions.

Descartesalsolikedhowtheideaoftheignoranceofotherpeoplecouldmakehimfeelmoreconfident.Peopleactasiftheyknowallkindsofthings,buttheydon’treally.Theyseemtoknowexactlyhoweverythingshouldwork,whatagoodjobis,whatyoushoulddowithyourfreetime,what’stherightwaytorunacountry,whoshouldbeinchargeandwhatshouldbetaughtinschools.

Butactuallypeopledon’tknowthebestanswerstothesethings.Theyaren’tstupid—it’sjustthatthequestionsaresohardwehaven’tworkedouttherightanswersyet.Everyonehastheopportunitytobeathinker.

BIGIDEA#10

Itcanseemquiteboringtohavetobepolite.There’sprobablysometimesthatyourmumordadcomesintoyourroomandasks,‘How’dyougetontoday?’butyoudon’tfeelmuchlikeanswering.It’snotaveryinterestingquestion.Maybeyouarereadingamagazineandeatingsometoast,andyoudon’tevenlookup.Ormaybeyourgrandparentssendyouabookforyourbirthday.It’squiteanicebook,butyoudon’twanttosendthemathankyouletter,orringthemup.Youmightbebusyormaybeyoufeelabitshy.Perhapsanothertime,yourdadmakesyousomethingreallytastyforlunch.Youreallyenjoyedeatingit,butwhywouldyouneedtotellhimitwasnice?He’syourdad.Heknowsit’snice—hemadeit!

Youlikeyourparents(mostofthetime),andyourgrandparents,too,butmaybeyoudon’timaginethatitmattersmuchtothemifyouanswerorsaythanksorsay,‘Thatwasreallylovely,thanksformakingit.’They’regrown-upsandyouarejustakid.Theycandriveacarandhavecreditcards.Itdoesn’tfeellikeitcouldmakeanydifferencetothemwhatyousay—ordon’tsay.

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Thefunnythingisthat,ontheinside,grown-upsarenotasstrongastheyseem.Theyworryandgethurteasily.Theyworryaboutlove,theyworryabouttheirjobs,theyworryaboutyou.Ifyoudonotanswerwhenyourparentsaskyouaboutyourday,they’llworrythatyoumightbecrosswiththem.Ifyoudon’tsaythankyouwhentheymakesomethingforyoutoeat,they’llworrythattheycan’tpleaseyou.Yourgrandparentswanttogiveyouapresentyoulike,andiftheydon’thearfromyou,they’llworrythatyoudidn’tlikeit—andmoreimportantly,thatyoudon’tlikethem.

Youdon’tusuallyrealisehowunsuregrown-upsactuallyare.Youdon’trealisethatyoucanhurttheirfeelingswithjustafewwords,orbynotsayinganything.Youcanmakethemfeelsadorsilly.It’sstrangetothinkthatyouhavethispower.Grown-upsaremuchmorelikeyouthanyoumightimagine.

Itmayhaveseemedtoyoubeforethatthereasonforbeingpoliteisthatotherpeoplearemorepowerfulthanyouandtheywillgetangryifyouarenotnicetothem.Farfromit.Politenessmattersbecausepeoplearefragileandneedtobehandledwithcare.

Wedon’tusuallymeantohurtpeople’sfeelings,butsometimeswejustdonotrealisethatwecan,orweforgetthatpeoplegethurteasily.Youmightnotalwaysrememberthatbynotrespondingtosomeoneyoucouldmakethemworriedorsad.Itseemssuchalittlething—justlookingupandsaying‘Hi—schoolwasfine,’or,‘Ilikedthebook,’or,‘Thanksformakingmelunch,dad.’Thesearen’tlittlethingsreally,though.Theyarepowerfulwordsthatcancomfortandbringasmiletothefaceofanyone,evensomeonewhohasbeenaliveontheearthforfivetimesaslongasyouhave.

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OneofthephilosopherswhothoughtandcaredmostaboutpolitenesslivedinChinaabouttwo-and-a-halfthousandyearsago.HisnamewasConfucius.Hisfatherwasasoldier,butsadlyhediedwhenConfuciuswasstillveryyoung,andafterthatthefamilywerequitepoor.Whenheleftschool,ConfuciusstartedacareerasagovernmentofficialandeventuallyhebecameanimportantadvisertothelocalrulersofdifferentpartsofChina.Confuciuslivedatatimewhenthegeneralsofarmiescoulddowhattheywanted—theywereinchargebecausetheywerestrongerthananyoneelse.

Theirmannerswerefrequentlyverybad.Theygruntedandsworeanddidn’tlookatpeoplewhentheyspoke.

Confuciusthoughtthatthiswasaveryseriousproblem.Hebelievedthatgovernmenthadtobegoodandthatanimportantpartofgoodnesswaspayingattentiontomannersandetiquette.Hethoughtalotaboutbowing(theChineseversionofourhandshakes),andhowtwopeopleshouldbowtooneanothersothatneithersidewouldfeeloffendedorhurtintheprocess.Confuciusknewthatmannersmatter,becausethewrongwordscanbe—asheputit—aswoundingasasword.

BIGIDEA#11

Youmightnotknowtheword‘procrastinate’,ormaybeyou’vehearditbeforebutarenotsureexactlywhatitmeans.It’squiteanunusualword.However,evenifyou’veneverhearditbefore,youprobablydoknowaboutthethingthatitmeans.ProcrastinateismadefromtwoLatinwords:proandcras.Promeans‘towards’andcrasmeans‘tomorrow’.Togethertheymean‘puttingoffdoingsomething—untiltomorrow,orsomeothertime’.Perhapsyoudothissometimes,too.Imaginethatyouhavesomethingyouneedtodoforschool:it’sapieceofwritingaboutwhatyoudidonholiday.Itisforquiteascaryteacher,soyouwanttomakeitverygoodand,inaway,you’reexcitedaboutit.It’sgoingtobelongandyou’vebeenaskedtouseadictionary.You’vegotthewholeweekend.OnFridayyouthink,‘I’lldoittomorrow’.OnSaturdayyouthink,‘I’lldoitonSunday’.OnSundayyouthink,‘I’lldoittonight’.ButonSundayeveningyourealise:it’stoolatetodoitnow.Nowyou’refedupwithyourselfforprocrastinating.

Itwouldbeeasytoaccuseyouofbeinglazy,butit’smorecomplicatedthanthat.Weneedtofindoutwhyweputthingsoffinthisway(you’renottheonlyonewhodoesit—almosteveryonehasthisproblem).Luckily,oneoftheusefulthingsaboutphilosophyisthatinsteadoflettingyouget

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annoyedwithyourself,itcangiveyousomeanswersastowhyyou—andotherpeople—haveaproblem.

Themainthingthatmakesyouprocrastinateisfear.Thatsoundsoddatfirst,becauseyouprobablydon’tfeellikeyouareafraidofdoingyourhomework.Butmaybeinsomewayyouarescared—scaredofnotdoingaswellasyouwantto.Youmighthaveapictureinyourmindofhowgoodyourhomeworkshouldbe,anditmakestheideaofitnotbeingasgoodasyouwantittobedifficulttothinkabout.Theproblemisthatifyoustartanditdoesn’tturnoutaswellasyouwouldlike,thedifficultideamightcometrue.Soyouputoffstartingtoavoidthefearofdisappointment.Ifyoudon’tstart,youcan’tspoilanything.Youcan’tgetanythingwrong.Peoplewhoprocrastinatearen’tlazy;theyareoftenjustperfectionists,whocan’tbearthepainofnotquitegettingthingsright.

Thesolutiontoputtingworkoffisn’ttogetmoreandmoreannoyedwithyourself.Instead,youhavetoconvinceyourselfthatthingsareworthdoingeveniftheyareabitwrong.Youalsoneedtoacceptthatlotsofthingsareactuallymuchtrickierthantheylook—soyoucan’talwaysgetthemrightthefirsttime(ormaybeeventhesecondorthetenthtime).It’snotimpossible—youjusthavetokeepgoing.Itmightfeellikeotherpeoplearebetteratthingsthanyou,butyoudon’tgettoseeallthepracticeotherpeoplehadtodofirst.Theyarenotjustmagicallygoodatdoingthings.Theymadelotsandlotsofmistakes.Whatmadethemsuccessfulisnotthattheyhadnoproblems,butthattheykeptgoing.

Youwillbeabletofinallygetdowntoworkwhenthefearofmaybenotdoingsomethingquiteaswellasyou’dlikeiswipedoutbythegreaterandmoreseriousfearofnotdoinganythingatall.

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HypatiawasaphilosopherwholivedattheendoftheRomanEmpire.Shediedin405,aroundthesametimeasahugeGermantribe—theGoths—attackedandcapturedthecityofRomeitself.

HypatialivedinAlexandriaontheMediterraneancoastofEgypt,whichwasfamousforhavingthetallestlighthouseandthebestlibraryintheworld.Hypatiataughtmathematicsandmusicaswellasphilosophy.Shewasveryinterestedinmakingdifficultthingseasiertounderstand.Herfatherwasateacheraswellandtogethertheywroteoneofthefirstphilosophybooksforchildren(thoughithadmoremathsinitthanthisone,becauseatthattimepeopledidnotsplitupdifferentsubjectsthewaywedo).

Hypatiawasfamousforbeingaverygoodteacher—shewasanextremelycalmandfriendlyperson.Shebelievedintheimportanceoftakingsmallsteps,andwassurethateveryonehadtheabilitytolearnalot,eventually.But,shesaid,wehavetostartoutnotknowingthings—that’snotourfault,it’sinevitable.Insteadofcallingherstudentslazy,shetriedtoreallyunderstandwhattheywerefindingdifficult.Shethoughtwegetputofffromdoingdifficultthingsbecausewehaven’tbeentaughthowtostartwiththeeasiest,simpleststepsfirst.Wegetscared,andweprocrastinate,but,asHypatiaknew,wearen’tjustlazy.

BIGIDEA#12

Sometimespeopleaskyouthequestion,‘whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup?’Youmayfeelthatyouaresupposedtoknow.Itcanbeabitfrightening.Youknowyouwillhavetodosomething—becauseeveryonedoes—buthowareyousupposedtofindoutwhatthatwillbe?

Somechildrenandyoungpeoplefeelthattheydoknow:theysaytheywanttobeavetorafootballplayerorafarmeroradentist.Theseareveryniceideas,butthingsdonotoftenworkoutquitethewayyouexpectwhenyouwereyounger.Actually,itisquitehardtofigureoutwhatyoushoulddowhenyouareolder—anditistotallyunderstandablethatitmighttakealongtimetofindagoodanswer.

Oneconfusingthingisthatsomekindsofjob(justaverysmallnumber)arefamous,soyouhearaboutthemalot.Butthesejobsarefamousbecausethey’respecialinsomeway,andthatusuallymeansthathardlyanyonegetstodothem.Hardlyanyonebecomesasuccessfulactor,or

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developsgamesorinventssomethingandbecomesveryrich.Veryfewpeopleworkasamodelorbecomeasportsstar,either.Andactually,thesejobsmightnotbeverynice.Famouspeopledon’tusuallyenjoybeingfamous,becauseifyouarefamousalotofotherpeoplewhodonotreallyknowyoucriticiseyouandsaymeanthingsaboutyoubecausetheyarejealous.Itdoesnotlookthiswayfromtheoutside,anditisnotwhatthemediaportrays,butit’sthetruth.Fortunately,therearelotsofinterestingjobsyoucandothatyoumightnothearmuchabout.

Sohowdoyouworkoutwhatyouwanttodo?Agoodansweristhatyoucouldstopthinkingaboutwhatmightpleaseotherpeopleorwhatmightmakeyoumoneyandstarttofocusonwhatyoureallyenjoy.Maybeyoulikeorganisingthings,orbeingcreativeorsolvingproblems.Maybeyoulikeexplainingthingstoothers,oryou’reinterestedinhowpeoplemakefoodoryouliketalkingaboutthingswithotherpeopleandhearingwhattheyhavetosay.Itdoesn’tmatterthatthesethingsdon’t(yet)soundlikejobs—theyarethemostimportantbitsofthejobsofyourfuture.

Itcanseemquitestrangetotalkaboutwhatyou‘enjoy’inthiscontext.Enjoymentandfuncansoundliketheoppositeofwork,butifyouwanttobegoodatsomethingyouneedtoenjoyit.Youdon’thavetoknowyetwhatactualjobyouwouldliketodo,youjusthavetoconcentrateondoingconstructivethingsthatyouliketodo,andgettinggoodatthem.Workisastrangemixtureofhavingtodowhatotherpeoplewant(soyoucangetpaid)andfindingthingsyoulikespendingyourtimedoing(soyoucandothemwell).

Oneimportantthingtoconsiderthatyoumightnothavethoughtaboutiswhatgamesyouliketoplayandhowyouliketoplaythem.Thiscanbereallyhelpfulwhenthinkingaboutwhatyoumightwanttodowhen

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youareolder.Aswementionedbefore,playisnotreallytheoppositeofwork—infact,whatchildrendowhentheyareplayingisakindofpracticeforwork.Itisnottheactualgamethatcounts—butthewayyoudoit.Maybewhenyou’rebuildingstuffwithLegoyoureallyenjoyfollowingtheinstructions—thatmightmeanyou’denjoyworkinginanoffice.OrmaybeyoulikesortingouttheLegobricksbeforeyoustart,puttingallthesamecoloursandshapestogethersoyouknowwhereeverythingis—thatmightmeanyouwouldenjoyajobwhereyouhavetobepreciseandclearaboutwhatyou’redoing,likeapharmacistoranoptician.Orperhapsyou

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liketofreestyleandmakewhatevercomestomindfirst,neverfollowingtheinstructions—thatmightmeanyou’dlikebeingsomethingcreativelikeanartdirectoratanadvertisingagency,oragraphicdesigner.Thesearejustafewexamples,buttheyshowapattern:workismorelikeplaythanyoumightatfirstthink.Theproblemalotofadultshavewiththeirjobisthatit’snotenoughliketheplaytheyusedtoenjoy.Whentheywerechoosingtheirjobstheyprobablydidn’tthinkenoughaboutwhattheylikeddoingwhentheywereyounger—andtheyarepayingaheavypriceforit.

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Jean-JacquesRousseauwasaSwissphilosopherwholivedinthe18thcentury,from1712to1778.HisfatherhadasmallbusinessmakingwatchesinGeneva,andhelovedreadingtoyoungJean-Jacques.Ashegotolder,Rousseaulikedmusicandgoingforlongwalksonhisown.Hewasveryindependent.Onetime,whenhewasateenager,hewentoutwalkinginthefieldsaroundGeneva.Whenhegotbacktothecity,thegateswereshut(inthosedaysmanycitiesweresurroundedbywallsandatnightthegateswereclosed).Insteadofwaitingforthemorning,hesetoffonanadventure,andwalkedallthewaytothenextcountry:France.Laterinhislife,Rousseaubecameveryfamous,buthenevermademuchmoney—thatwasfinethough,becausehethoughtitwasnicertoliveasimple,ordinarylifethantoberichandliveinagrandhouse.

OneofRousseau’sbigideaswasthatchildrenareoftenmorealiveinsidethanadults.Heworriedthatinsteadofjustlearningmore,adultsactuallyforgettheimportantthingstheyalreadylearntwhentheywerelittle.Insteadofadultsalwaysteachingchildren,Rousseauthoughtthattheyshouldsometimestrytolearnfromchildren.Healsosaidthatweshouldtrytofindworkthatsuitsourownnature.Itmightsoundobvious,butitisn’treally,becausesooftenwe’reguidedbywhatotherpeoplethinkagoodjobis.Rousseautookchildren’sgamesveryseriously;theywere,hesaid,thefirstmomentwhenwestarttorealisewhatsortofthingswemightdowhenweareolder.

BIGIDEA#13

Somethingsareobviouslyverydifficulttodo.Itwouldbebrillianttobeabletorideabicyclealongatightrope,butofcourseitwouldtakeyearsandyearsofpracticeandlotsoffallsandaccidentstolearnhowtodothat.

Thereareotherthingsthatlookquiteeasytodo.Youmightseesomeonestandinguponstageperformingcomedy—theyseemtobeveryrelaxed,justsayingwhatevercomesintotheirheads.Thatmakesitlookasifitwouldbequiteeasytobeacomedian,butactually,inordertomakeitlooksoeasy,they’vebeenpractisingathomeforyears.It’squitelikelythattheystandinfrontofamirrorandthinkseriouslyaboutwhethertheyshouldraiseoneeyebrowwhiletheytellajoke,orkeeptheirlefthandintheirpocketwhentheytellanotherjoke.Ontopofthis,theywillhavefailedmanytimesbeforeyouseethemperform.Theywillhavetoldjokesthatnoonefoundfunny,theywillhavebeenbooedandheckledandtoldtheywerenogood.Youdon’tseeallthepracticetheyhavehadtodoandall

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thedifficultiestheyhavehadtoface.Itmaylookeasy,butactuallyitisnoteasyatall.

Lotsofthingsarelikethis.Infact,almostallthegoodandinterestingthingsinlifearequitehardtodo—itisjustthatpeopledonotusuallytellyouhowhardtheyare.Theywouldliketobeencouragingandsotheyignorethedifficulties—theonestheyhaveexperiencedandtheonesyoumightfaceinthefuture.Whenpeoplepretendthingsaren’thardinthisway,theythinkthey’rehelpingyou.Theyworrythatifyourealisehowhardsomethingis,youwillgiveup,orwon’tgiveitago.Theyaretryingtobenice.Butinreality,theyarecreatingproblemsforyoulateron.Bymistake,they’resettingyouuptobedisappointedwhenyoueventuallydofacesomethingdifficult—becauseinsteadofbeingpreparedforthedifficulties,youthoughteverythingwouldberelativelyeasy.

Ofcourse,therearealsosomethingsthateveryoneadmitsareverytricky,andthereforealotoftimeandeffortisputintolearninghowtodothem.Weallknowthatit’sdifficulttolearnhowtoread,forinstance.Soyougetalotofhelpwiththischallenge.Teachershavetogotouniversitytolearnaboutteachingchildrentoread.Therearelotsofpicturebooksforbabies,withjustafewwords,tohelpyouwhenyouarebeginning.Nooneexpectsyoutolearntoreadinafewminutes—ofcourseitisgoingtotakealongtimeandalotofpractice,andyouwillneedalotofhelp.

Musicalinstrumentsareveryhard,too.Youhaveprobablylookedatapianooraviolinbeforeandthoughthowfunitwouldbetobeabletoplayit—thenyoutriedfor

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threeminutesanditsoundedhorrible!Itcantakethreeyearstogetjustasimple,nicetuneoutofaviolin,andevenmoretobereallygoodatit.Lotsofthingsturnouttobelikelearningtoplayamusicalinstrument:strangelyandhorriblyhard.

It’ssohardtomakeagoodfriend,it’shardtowriteastorythatyoulike,it’shardtounderstandyourparentssometimes,ortoworkoutwhatyouwanttodowhenyouareolder.Butpeopledon’tusuallytalkaboutthefactthatthesethingsaredifficult.Infact,theyoftenmakeyouthinkthattheyshouldbeeasy,whilereallytheycanbeastrickyaslearningtoreadorplaytheviolin.Theyalltakealongtimeandyouneed—anddeserve—alotofhelpwithdoingthem.Whenyouunderstandthatthingsaredifficultandwilltakeagestolearntodoproperly,youwillgetlessstressedwhentheygowrong—whichsometimes,unfortunately,theywill.Thebigproblemisnotthatcertainthingsarehard,itisthatwekeepexpectingthemtobeeasy.

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Makealistofthingsofthingsthatyouwouldliketolearntodo,aswellaswhatyouwilldowithyournewskill.Forexample:

Howtospeakanothercountry’slanguage…andthenI’llmakefriendswithsomeonefromthere.

Howtodancewithconfidence…andthenI’llasksomeonetodancewithme.

Howtorideabike…andthenI’lltravelsomewherenewandexciting.

Howto…

andthenI’ll…

Howto…

andthenI’ll…

Howto…

andthenI’ll…

ThephilosopherwhowasmostinterestedinthewaythatgoodthingsaredifficultwasamancalledFriedrichNietzsche.Hewasbornin1844,inthemiddleofthe19thcentury.Hewasquiteseriouswhenhewaslittleandwasverygoodatschoolwork—thoughhehadmixedfeelingsabouttheextremelystrictschoolhewentto.Hearguedalotwithhissisterandmother,too.WhenNietzschewasolderheworkedforawhileasateacheratauniversity,buthewasn’taverygoodteacherandhewasoftenunwell.Soinsteadofteaching,hedecidedtotravel.HespentalotoftimelivinginthemountainsofSwitzerlandandgrewanenormousmoustache.Helookedquitefiercebuthewasverypoliteandwasoftencrackingjokes.Hewrotealotofbooksbutatfirsthardlyanyonewasinterestedinthem,andtheysoldonlyafewcopies.Afterhedied,however,Nietzsche’sbooksbecameveryfamousandlotsandlotsofpeoplereadthem.

Nietzschethoughtthatpeopleareoftenfrightenedofdoingthingsthattheyfinddifficult—eventhoughthosethingsmightbeveryimportant.Hesaidthatwetellourselvesthatwedonotreallywantthedifficultthings,eventhoughsecretlywedo.Forexample,imaginesomeonewhosecretlywantstobeverygoodatmaths,buttheyfinditreallyhard.Theymighttellthemselvesthatmathsisstupidandonlystupidpeoplecareaboutbeinggoodatit.Thisisastorytheytellthemselvestohidetheirsecretambition.Nietzschewouldhaveunderstood.Hisideasremindusthatweshouldadmitthatthingsarehard,butdothemanyway—knowingthattheywillgeteasierthemorewetry,andthatwewillgetagreatrewardattheendofourefforts.

BIGIDEA#14

IfyouwanttogofromNewYorktoParis,theeasiestandfastestwayis,ofcourse,togobyaeroplane.Therearelotsofthingsaboutanaeroplanethatmakeitfantasticfortravellinglongdistances—itshugewings,forexample,orpowerfulengine.However,ifyouthinkaboutit,anaeroplanewouldbejustabouttheworstpossiblewayoftryingtogethomefromschool,orgoingtotheshops.Exactlythesamethingsthatmakeaplanegreatforlongdistanceswouldmakeitterriblefordrivingaroundinatownorcity.Theroadswouldbetoonarrowforitsgiantwings,andtheenginewouldprobablydestroyalloftheshopwindows.Therewouldcertainlybenowheretopark.Whatthiscanshowusisthatthestrengthsoftheplaneforflyinglongdistancescanalsobeweaknesseswhenitcomestoashorttrip.

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Itisactuallyquitesimilarwithpeople.Forinstance,apersonmightbeverygoodatwork.Thatmeanstheyaregoodatgettingdifficultthingsdonequickly.They’llalsoprobablybegoodattellingotherpeoplewhattodo,andmaybetheyareabletothinkcarefullyaboutmoneyalotofthetime.Thatpersonwillnevermissameetingandwillworkalot—maybelateintothenightorovertheweekend.Butthestrengthsthatmakethemgoodatworkarealsoweaknesses.Theyprobablydon’thaveenoughtimetoplayorhavefun.Theyarealwayscheckingtheirphonetoseeifthereisamessageaboutwork.Theymightbestressedandworriedbecausetheyhavetomakesurethateverylittleworkproblemgetssolvedquickly.Sothisperson,eventhoughthey’regoodatdoingtheirjob,mightnotbealotoffuntobearoundathome.

Youmightknowagirlorboywhoisquiteexciting—theymakejokesabouttheteacher,theydonotcarewhattheirparentsthink,theyareadventurousandquitenaughty.Buttheseexcitingthingsaboutthemarealsoweaknesses:theymostlikelygetintotroublealotandbecausethey’resobusybeingnaughty,theydon’tlearnmuchatschool.Itcouldevenbetheotherwayround—maybeyoualsoknowsomeonewhoisverycarefulandneatatschool,andisverygoodattheirwork,butthey’renotverybrave,anddon’tlikeplayinggamesorclimbingtrees.

Thereisabigideahere:strengthsarealsoweaknesses.Everystrengthyouorsomeoneelsehas,isalwaysaweakness,too.Youcan’tbegoodatonethingwithoutalsobeingbadatsomethingelse.Maybeyoucanseethisinyourself.Maybeyougetannoyedwithyourselffornotbeingsogoodatsomethings,butyouknowyoudohavetalentinotherareas.Orsuppose,even,thatyouaregoodatlotsofdifferentthings—eventhatcanbeaweakness,asitmightmakeyouimpatientandeasilyannoyedwithotherpeoplewhentheycan’tdowhatyoucan.There’salwayssome

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wayinwhichthethingsyouaregoodatmakeyoulessgoodatsomethingelse.Ifyouwanttoseethelinkyourself,youcanplayalittlegame.Writedownonelistofwhatyou’regoodat,andwritedownanotherlistofwhatyou’renotsogoodat—thenseehowthetwolistsarerelated.

Theideathatstrengthsleadtoweaknessestellsyousomethingaboutotherpeopleaswell.Nooneisevergoingtobeperfect.Allthethingsthatmakesomeonegoodwillalsomakethemnot-so-goodinotherways.Noonecanbetheperfectparentorteacherorfriend.It’snotbecausetheyarestupidoruseless.It’sbecausetheyarelikethataeroplane:thethingsthatmakethemgreatinsomewaysmeanthatthereareotherthingstheycan’tbegoodat.Wehavetobeforgivingofotherpeople’sweaknesses,andbeforgivingofourown.

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Makealistofyourstrengthsandweaknesses.Onceyouaredone,thinkabouthowthetwolistsarerelated.

RalphWaldoEmersonwasanAmericanphilosopher.Hewasbornnearthestartofthe19thcentury,in1803.Emersondidnotdoverywellatschool,butlateronhewenttouniversityandhedidmuchbetter(thishappenstoquitealotofpeople).Emersonworkedasaschoolteacherforseveralyears,andlivednearBostonformostofhislife—althoughhealsotravelledwidely,spendingtimeinFrance,EnglandandEgypt.HewasagreatpublicspeakerandgavemanylecturestolargeaudiencesallovertheUnitedStates.Emersonwasaverykindandgentleman,andwasmuchadmiredbythepresidentatthattime,AbrahamLincoln.Emersonboughtalittlehouseinthecountryside,nearabeautifulsmalllake,andhisfriendsusedtocomeforlongholidaystovisithim.

Emersonwasinterestedinhowthegoodthingsweadmireoftenhavedrawbacks.Forinstance,ifyouareverycleveryouwillprobablyalsobelonelybecauseotherpeoplewon’tunderstandyou.Or,ifyouhavealotofmoneyyouwillmostlikelyalsohavealotofresponsibility.Andifyouarefamous,manypeoplewillenvyyouandyoumightnothavemanytruefriends.Emersondidn’tonlythinkthisaboutpeople.Cheetahsarethefastestlandanimals—theycanacceleratefasterthanaracingcar—butthethingsthatmakethemsoquick,suchasbeinglightandthin,makethemweakinotherways.Alion,whichismuchslowerthanacheetah,caneasilystealacheetah’sfoodjustbecauseitissomuchbiggerandstronger.Emersonevensawexamplesoftheweaknessasstrengththeoryinnon-livingthings.Forexample,acitythatisextremelybeautiful,likeVeniceorParis,mightgetsocrowdedwithtouriststhatit’sactuallynotverynicetovisit.Bylookingatthesestrengthsandweaknesses,Emersonwaspointingoutsomethingthatisquitesadbutalsoveryimportant:nothingcaneverbeperfect.

BIGIDEA#15

Youprobablyhaven’theardtheword‘kintsugi’before.That’snotverysurprising,asmostpeoplewon’thave—thoughtheymighthaveheardaboutwhatitmeans.KintsugiisaJapaneseword,andyousayitlikethis:kin-tsoo-gee.It’smadeupoftwosmallerJapanesewords:thefirstpart,kin,means‘golden’,andthesecondpart,tsugi,means‘fixing’.Whenyouputthetwotogether,itmeansrepairingabrokenthinginabeautifulway.Thismightsoundlikequiteanoddidea,atfirst.Normally,ifsomethinggetsbroken,youfeellikeithasbeenruined.Youmightwanttothrowwhateveritisawayandgetanewone.Butnotwithkintsugi.

KintsugistartedalongtimeagoinJapan.TheancientJapanesepeoplelovedvasesandcups,andtheyhadatraditionofmakingverybeautifulones,butbecausetheyweresofine,theyweredelicateandtheygotbrokeneasily.Mostownersimmediatelythrewawaythebrokenonesandwentoutshoppingfornewones.But,inthemiddleofthe16thcentury,someonehadtheideathatratherthanjustthrowingawaythebeautifulpots,cupsandbowls,theyshouldtrytofixthem.Peoplebegantofixtheirbrokenceramics,butinsteadofstickingthebitsbacktogetherwithclearglue,theystartedtomixthegluewithgolddust.Thismeantyoucouldseevery

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clearlywhereapothadbeenrepaired.Bydoingthis,theyweren’ttryingtopretendthatthecuporvasehadneverbeenbroken—theyweremakingitveryclearthatithadbeenfixed.Theywereshowingthattheydidn’tmind,andthatitwasOKtokeepholdofsomethingthathadoncebeenbroken.Kintsugiisabigidea.Itstartedfromaverysmallthing—fixingabrokencup—butthesameideacanbeusedforthinkingaboutmoreimportantthingsaswell.Itisnotjustcupsthatcangetbroken,orbowlsortoysortelevisions.Actually,themostimportantthingsthatcangetbrokenarepeople.Whenpeoplebreakitisafunnykindofbreaking—it’snotjustthephysicalbreakingofbonesorhurtingyourbody.Breakingcanalsohappenifyougetveryangryandsaysomethinghorrible,orifyoudosomethingmean.Whenthishappens,youfeelasifyouhavespoiledwhatwasniceandlovelyaboutyourself.Maybeyoufeellikeotherpeoplewon’twantyouanymore.

Butyoucanmendyourselfinthesamewaythatthekintsugicupsaremended.Whenyoufeelsorryaboutwhatyoudid,andsaysorrytothe

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personyouhurt,itisakindofmending.Youarerepairingyourfeelings.Youdonotforgetthatadifficultthinghashappened,andyouarenotpretendingthatyouneversaidordidthatthing—butyou’remakingitbetterandfixingtheproblem.

Whenyoumakeupwithsomeoneitcanbecomebetterthanitwasbefore.Afteryouhavemadeup,youcanfeelsurethatanargumentwillnotmeantheendofafriendship,andthatmakesthefriendshipmuchstronger.Youknow,too,thatyoucanbeangrywithyourparentsandexplainwhattheproblemisandputitright—andthatcanmakeyourrelationshipwithyourparentsbetterthanitwasbefore.Knowingthatfeelingscanbemendedisveryhelpful.Sometimesyoucan’thelphurtingotherpeople’sfeelings,andsometimestheycannothelphurtingyours.Thatisnevernice.Butyoudon’thavetoworryaboutitsomuchifyoukeeptheideaofkintsugiinyourmind.

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Makealistofthings—otherthancupsandglasses—thatcouldbefixed.Forexample:

Usingcolourfulpatchestomendyourfavouritejeans

Fixingafriendshipbyapologising(andreallymeaningit)

Yourself—thinkofallthetimesyou’vefallenoverorfailedatest.Thesearen’tanythingtobeembarrassedabout!Theyhelpyoulearnandhavemadeyouwhoyouare.

Aroundroughlytwo-and-a-halfthousandyearsago,aphilosophercalledSiddharthaGautamawasborninNepal(wheretheHimalayasare).HeisbetterknownasBuddhaorTheBuddha.Youhaveprobablyheardabouthimbefore.Buddhawasaprinceandhisfamilywasverywealthy.Whenhewasgrowinguphehadaveryluxuriouslife—ifitwastoosunny,heevenhadservantstoholdwhiteumbrellasoverhimsohecouldplayintheshade.Buthewasn’thappy.Therewassomuchsufferingeverywhereintheworld.Eveninsectsgettrampledon,henoticed.

Sowhenhegrewup,Buddhaaskedhimselfaverytrickyquestion:howcanyoustopsuffering?Onebigideahehadwasthatweshouldacceptthatthingswillneverbeperfect.Peoplewillmisunderstandus,wewillmakemistakes,ourfriendswillsometimesbeannoyingormean,ourplanswon’tworkout,itwillrainwhenwewanttoplayfootball,we’llspillhotchocolateoverourtrousers,we’llgetacoldonthefirstdayofthesummerholidays.Wedonotwantthemto,butwearealiveonthisearth,andthesesortsofthingsareunavoidable.Buddhaencouragesustoacceptthesethings,ratherthangettingannoyedbythem.Ifwealwayswantthingstobeperfectwe’llendupbeingveryfrustratedandmuchmoresadthanweneedtobe.

Buddhalovedtheideaofrepairingthingsinsteadofjustthrowingthemaway.Hethoughtthatifsomethingwasoldandwornandbroken,youshouldn’tseethatasabadthing.ManypeoplewereinspiredbyBuddha’sideas,andsomeofhisfollowers,particularlyinJapan,gotveryinterestedinhowslightlydamagedthingscanactuallybeverybeautiful—justlikeateddyorsofttoycanbecomemuchmoreimportanttoyouwhenit’soldandloved,andhaslostsomeofitsfur.

BIGIDEA#16

Itisnotverynicebeingnagged.Someonewillkeepontellingyoutodosomething;theykeeponaskingyou,‘Haveyoudoneityet?’andthemoretheyaskthemoreyoudon’twanttodoit.Sometimesyoumightnagtoo.Youmightnagyourparentstogetadogortotakeyoutothecinematoseeafilmyoureallywanttosee.Youcouldaskthemeveryday(ortentimesaday)andtheyneverseemtosayyes.Althoughlotsofpeoplenag,thefunnythingisthatitdoesnotworkverywell.Evenifsomeonesaysyeseventually,theyfeelliketheyhavebeenworndownandforcedintosomethingtheydonotactuallywanttodo.Noonereallylikesnagging,andnoonereallylikesbeingnagged.

Sowhydopeoplenag?Basically,thenaggeristryingtogetsomeonetodosomething.Theyaretryingtopersuadeanotherperson.Ifyounag,it’sbecauseyoureallywantsomethingtohappen—youhaveanideainyour

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headabouthowimportantsomethingisorhownicesomethingcouldbe,andyouwanttheotherpersontoagree.Youwantthemtounderstandwhatyouunderstand.

Theproblemisthatnaggingisn’taverygoodwayofgettinganyonetounderstandanything.Naggingislikeverybadteaching.Imagineyoudidnotunderstandhowtodoanewkindofsuminmaths.Averybadteachermightkeeponsaying,‘Whydon’tyoujustdoit?’They’renotexplaining.They’renotreallyteachingyouatall.Theyarejustnagging.

Thebigideahereisthatwhenpeopledonotdowhatotherswantitisusuallybecausetheydon’tunderstandproperlywhyitisimportant.Thenaggerknowssomethingisimportant—butthey’renotexplainingwhyitisagoodidea,sonooneunderstands,andnoonedoesit.Ifyounagorpesterorkeeponaboutsomething,whatyouarereallytryingtodo(butarenotactuallydoing)isteachsomeoneaboutwhatyouthinkandfeel.

Itcanbeabitofasurprisetothinkthatyoucouldbetheteacher.Usuallyyoumightthinkofateacherassomeoneolderwhohasaspecialjobteachingpeople.Butreally,teachingissomethingthateveryoneneedstodosometimes.Youareateacherwheneveryouhelpsomeoneelseunderstandsomething—butitmightbetrickybecauseadultshavenotusuallyspentmuchtimeteachingyouhowtobeateacher.

Thinkaboutthebestteacheryouhaveeverhad.Whatdidtheydothatwassogood?Maybetheywereverygoodatlisteningtoyou—theydidn’tjusttellyouthings,butheardwhatyouhadtosay.Ormaybetheyaskedyoualotofquestions,whichmeanstheyweretryingtofindoutwhyyoudidn’tunderstandsomething.Probablythisgoodteacherwasalsoverypatient—ifyoudidn’tunderstandsomething,theywouldnottellyouto

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bequietorsayyouwerestupid.Theywereprobablyenthusiastic,too,andwerereallyexcitedaboutsharingideaswithyou.Orperhapsthemostimportantthingwasthattheydidn’tmakeyoufeelbadfornotknowingsomethingalready.Agoodteacherremembersthatyoucannotknowathinguntilsomeoneteachesyouit—soifyoudon’tknowsomething,it’snotbecauseyouarestupid,it’sbecausenoonehasbeenagoodenoughteacheryet.

So,youprobablyalreadyknowquitealotaboutgoodteaching,becauseatsomepointyou’vehadagoodteacher.Youcanlearnhowtobeabetterteacher,too,bylearningfromthem.Rememberthatifyouarebeingnagged,someoneisjusttryingtoteachyousomething—andremember,too,thatifyouwanttoexplainsomethingtosomeone,it’sbettertoteachthantonag.

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Whatotherthingscanyouthinkofthatmightbechangedfromnaggingtoteaching?Lookattheexamplesbelowandthenwritesomeofyourown.

“Goandtidyyourroom!”

“Hurryup,you’regoingtobelate!”

“You’rebeingapain.”

“Tidyingyourroomwillmakeiteasierforyouto

findyourthings.”

“Beingontimeshowsthatweappreciatethepeopleorthingswe’regoingtosee.”

“Whydoyouthinkyou’reactinglikethis?”

Inthe18thcenturytherewasaphilosopherwholivedinGermanycalledImmanuelKant.Helookedquiteodd—hewasverysmallandabitofahunchback.Hisfamilywereextremelypoor,buthewasgoodatlearningandgotajobinauniversity,wherehewasaverypopularteacher.Hewenttosomanypartiesthathisfriendsworriedhewouldn’thavetimeforwritingbooks,buthegotupreallyearlyinthemorning(atfivea.m.)anddidhiswritingthen.Hewasveryneatandtidyandlovedmakinglittlerulesforhislife.Healwayswentforawalkatexactlyfouro’clockintheafternoonandhehadarulethathehadtotelljokeswhenhewaseatingacakeoricecreamattheendofdinner.Kantlovedgazingupatthestarsonclear,darknights:itremindedhimthathewasverysmallandtheuniverseishuge.

Kanthateditwhenpeopleorderedeachotherabout.Hethoughtthatthemostimportantthingwastounderstandwhyyouhavetodosomething—youshouldnotdosomethingjustbecausesomeonehastoldyouto,butbecauseyouseeforyourselfthatit’sagoodthingtodo.So,ifwewanttogetotherpeopletodothings,wehavetoexplainproperlywhatwewant.Wehavetogetthemtoseeforthemselveswhyitissuchagoodidea.Kantthoughtthatifsomethingreallywasagoodidea,thenotherpeoplewouldbeabletounderstandwhyit’sworthdoingit.Ifyouteachthem,youwon’thavetoforcethem.

BIGIDEA#17

Howotherpeoplethinkaboutyoudependsalotonhowyoulook.Thisisquiteastrangeandsometimesdifficultthingtothinkabout—butit’salsoveryimportanttodiscuss.

Ifyouhappentolookcuteandinnocent,otherpeople(andespeciallyadults)probablythinkthatyouareaveryniceandwell-behavedperson.Thatmightnotactuallyhaveverymuchtodowithhowyoufeelinside,buttheydon’tknowthat.Ifyoulookmessyandcrazy,that’sprobablywhatotherpeoplethinkyouarelike,eventhoughyoumightreallybequitecarefulandthoughtful.

Ifthatdoesn’tsoundverynice,it’sworthrememberingthatyouprobablythinkthesamethingsaboutotherpeoplesometimes.Ifyoudon’tknowsomeoneverywell,youprobablyguesswhattheyarelikeasapersonfromtheirappearance.Allyouhavetogoonwhenmeetingsomeonenewiswhattheylooklike—youdonotknowanythingaboutwhat’sgoingoninsidetheirheads.

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Whenitcomestoyou,though,it’sdifferent.Youknowyourself,andyouknowthathowyoulookisn’treallyaverygoodguidetowhatyouarelike.Maybeyoudon’tlookexactlythewayyouwouldliketo.Maybeyouthinkyouaretootallortooshort,oryouwishyournosewasdifferentoryourhairoryourears;youmightworrythatyouaretoochubbyortooskinny,orthatyoudon’tlookenoughlikeotherpeople.Behindalltheseverydifferentworriesisonemainthought:otherpeoplewillgetthewrongideaofme—theywillnotseewhoIreallyam,theywilljustseewhatIlooklike.

Ifyoulookverycarefullyatyourselfinthemirrorandimaginewhatotherpeoplemightthinkaboutyouiftheyonlypaidattentiontowhatyoulooklike,itcanbequitestrange.Imaginesomeonewastryingtoguesswhatyouarelike.They’dmaybegetoneortwothingsright,butthey’d

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bewronginlotsofways.There’saveryimportantdifferencebetweenhowyoulookontheoutsideandhowyoureallyareontheinside.

Trybrushingyourhairadifferentwayormakingadifferentexpressioninthemirror.Thesechangesdon’tactuallychangeyouatall—youarestillexactlythesamepersonyouhavealwaysbeen,butthewayyourfacelookswillbesendingadifferentmessagetopeople.It’samazinghowyoucanchangewhatpeoplethinkofyoujustbyalteringyourlook,eventhoughyouhaven’treallychangedatall.

Buthowevermuchyouchangeyourhairorpickdifferentclothesorsmileorfrown,onethingremainsprettycertain:otherpeoplewon’tbeabletoknowwhoyoureallyarejustbylookingatyou.Thisisn’tbecauseotherpeoplearestupid—itisbecausewhatsomeoneislikeinsideisalwaysquitehardtogettoknow.

ItisOKtofeelabitsadaboutthissometimes.Youdidnotchoosethewayyoulook,butotherpeoplejudgeyoubyyourappearance.Theyseeyourhairoryournoseoryourlegsanddecidewhoyouarejustonthat.That’swhyit’snormalforpeopletoworryabouthowtheylook—becausetheyknow(sadly)thatotherpeoplewilljudgethembyit.Itisnotveryfair,butithappensallthetime.Thefunnythingisthatthishappenstoeveryone.Everyonehasbeendumpedinabodytheydidnotchoose.Wedidn’tchoosehowwelook;yetwekeepjudgingothersasifwhotheyareisdeterminedbywhattheylooklike.

Wecanbenicertoothersbyrememberingthatinside,peoplemightbeverydifferentfromthewaytheylook.Someonewholooksverysmartandboringmightalsobefriendlyandfunny;someonewhoisveryoldandslowmightrememberexactlywhatit’sliketobeachild;someonewho

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speaksinafunnywaymighthavesomeveryimportantthingstosay;someonewhoisreallyprettymightsecretlyfeelsadandugly;someonewholooksverysuccessfulmightactuallyfeellikeafailure.Youcan’ttelljustbylookingatthem.There’sonethingthatyoudoknow,though:they’realllikeyou,becausethey’realldifferentontheinsidefromthewaytheyhappentolookontheoutside.

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FrenchphilosopherJean-PaulSartrewasbornin1905,atthebeginningofthe20thcentury.Hewasunhappyatschool,wherehegotbulliedalot,butwenttouniversityanddidverywellthere.Hehadunusuallylargeearsandhisrighteyealwayslookedasifitwasstaringintothecorner,andhewasalsoquitenaughtyandlovedplayingtricksonpeople.Afteruniversity,SartrebecameaschoolteacherforafewyearsandmainlylivedinParis.Helikedgoingtocafés,andlovedeatingcakesandpastries.Heeventuallybecameextremelyfamous—whenhediedin1980,fiftythousandpeoplewenttohisfuneral.

Sartrewasveryinterestedinalltheoddthingsaboutbeingalive.Oneofthoseoddthingsisthatwecanexperienceourselvesintwoverydifferentways:there’sthewayweare‘forourselves’andthewayweare‘forothers’.Inourownheadswehavememories,plans,ideasandhopesandlotsofcomplicatedfeelings.Butforotherpeople,wemightjustbesomeonewithglasseswhogoestotheschooldowntheroad.Sartrewasworriedthatwemightlosetouchwithalltheinterestingthingsinourownheadsandstarttothinkofourselvesjustinthewayotherpeopleseeus.Wemightpaytoomuchattentiontowhatotherpeoplethinkofus.

Wedon’tdoittobehorrible,butweoftenforgetthatotherpeoplearemuchmoreinterestingthanthewaytheylook.Youmightseeyourteacherasjustateacher,withabitofafunnyhaircutandbadshoes,butinsidethemselvesthey’redifferent.Theyrememberbeingfiveandplayinghide-and-seek,andbeingtwelveandgoodatgymnastics.TheyloveswimmingandgoingouttodinnerwiththeirfriendsandtheydreamaboutclimbingmountainsinIceland,learningtorideamotorbikeortodance.

It’sveryimportantthatwetrytothinklikeSartre,andrememberthatyoucan’tknowwhatsomeoneisreallylikejustbylookingatthem—youhavetogettoknowthemfirst.

BIGIDEA#18

Doyoueverfeellonely?Youprobablydo,fromtimetotime.Everyonefeelslonelysometimes,eveniftheyhavefriendsandfamilyaroundthem—itdoesn’tmeanyou’reweird.

That’soneofthemostpuzzlingthingsaboutfeelinglonely—itdoesn’tjusthappenwhentherearenootherpeoplearound.Infact,mostofthetimewefeellonelywhennooneelseseemstounderstandus.That’swhyfeelinglonelycanmakeyouwonderifthere’ssomethingwrongwithyou.Maybeotherkidsinyourclassgetexcitedbythingsthatyou’renotreallyinterestedin.PerhapsyoureallylikestudyinginsectsorGreekmythsandlegends(forexample),butthesethingsdonotseemtointerestanyoneelse.Itcanmakeyoufeellonely.Youcanendupfeelingthatyouareabitoddandthatnooneunderstandsyou.

Youarenotstrange,though,andyouarenotreallyallthatdifficulttounderstand.It’sjustthatyouaresurroundedbyaverysmallselectionofpeople:thetwentyorthirtychildrenwhohappentobeinyourclass,

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andthehandfulofpeoplewhohappentobeinyourclosefamily.Suchasmallgroupofpeopledoesnotgiveyoumuchchanceoffindingsomeonewhototallygetsyou.Butluckily,therearesomanypeopleintheworldthattherearelikelytobelotsofextremelynicepeoplewhodoshareyourinterestsandwhowouldlovetotalktoyouaboutthemandjoinin.Imaginethatjustonepersonoutofahundredwillbeabletoreallyunderstandyou.Thatdoesn’tsoundlikemuch,butinacityofamillionpeoplethatmeanstenthousand—andinacountryofsixtymillion,itmeanssixhundredthousand!

Soinsteadofsaying‘Nooneunderstandsme,’youcouldsay,‘Noonewhoisaroundrightnowunderstandsme.’There’sabigandveryimportantdifferencebetweenthosetwofeelings.Eventhoughyouareatschool

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withquiteasmallnumberofpeople,whomightnotexactlyshareyourinterests,youcanknowthatit’snotreallyyouwhoistheproblem.Theproblemisthatschoolsandfamiliesaresosmall—incomparisontohowmanyinterestingpeoplethereareintheworld.

Don’tworrythough—youdon’thavetowaitforevertomeetnewfriendswholikewhatyoulike.There’sanotherimportantthingtoremember:althoughotherpeopledonotseemtoshareyourinterestsnow,perhapstheycould.MaybethereareotherchildreninyourclasswhowouldlovetotalkinsectsorGreekmyths,buttheykeepquietaboutitbecausetheydon’tthinkanyoneelsewouldbeinterested.Or,maybetheywouldliketolearnaboutit,buttheyhaven’thadthechancetoproperlyunderstandhowinterestingthosesubjectsareyet.

Youmightfeellikeyou’retheonlyonewhofeelslonelysometimes,butrememberthatthisisn’tactuallytrue.Almosteveryonefeelsabitlonely,evenadults:theyjustdonotmentionit,sometimesbecausetheyareembarrassedtoadmitit.There’snothingtobeashamedaboutthough.Everyoneislookingforpeopletounderstandthem,sothattheydon’tfeellonely.Weneedtoremindourselvesthattherearepeopleouttherethatwecanfeelcloseto.Wemightnothavefoundthekindofpeopleweneedrightnow,buttheywillbeoutthere,andwewillfindthem—especiallyifwecandaretoadmit(toourselvesatfirst)thatwearelonely.

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Listsomeofthethingsyoumightfeellonelyabout.Knowingwhereyoufeellonelyisthebeginningoffriendship,because

goodfriendsgetthingsaboutoneanotherthatnooneelsedoes.

OneofthenicestpeoplewhoeverlivedwasaFrenchphilosophercalledMicheldeMontaigne.Hewasbornnearlyfivehundredyearsago,in1533.Montaignecamefromquitearichfamily—theyevenownedalittlecastle—andforawhilehehadagoodjobinpolitics.Mostly,though,helikedspendingtimeinaspecialroomfilledwithbooks,inatowerinhiscastle.Hewasveryfondofthelocalpeople,eventhoughtheyweren’taswelleducatedashim.Hefeltthatgrowingvegetablesorcleaningahousecouldteachyouasmuch—ormore—aboutlifeasreadingbooks.Hehadalittlemoustacheandabeard,andwentbaldquiteyoung.

SometimesMontaignewaslonely.Hedidnotlikethesamethingsasotherwell-offpeoplewholivednearby.However,hetravelledquitealot,andbytravellinghewasabletoseehowdifferentcountriesare.Clothesthatseemordinaryinoneplacelookverystrangesomewhereelse.Thethingspeopleeatchangealotdependingonwhereyouare.Wefeelodd,Montaignerealised,becausewejustdon’thappentofitinwithwhat’simmediatelyaroundus—thoughwemightfitinfinesomewhereelse.

ThenMontaignedidaveryinterestingthing—hewroteabookaboutwhatitwasliketobehim.Hewroteaboutallthethingshelikedandthatinterestedhim.Hewasthefirstpersonevertodothis.Tohisgreatsurprisehefoundthatalotofpeoplereallydidlikeit.Noteveryoneofcourse—maybejustonepersonoutofahundred.Butinawholecountry,thatwasalotofpeople.Maybehisnext-doorneighbourwasn’tinterested,maybethepeoplewholivedinthevillagedidn’tcare,buthe’ddiscoveredsomethingveryimportant:lotsofpeoplecanunderstandyou,youjustmightnotknowwhotheyareyet.

BIGIDEA#19

Asking‘Whatisthemeaningoflife?’soundsserious.Peoplesometimesthinkit’saslightlymadquestion,orimaginethattheanswermustbeverycomplicated.Actuallyit’saveryimportantquestionandtheanswerisn’ttoohardtounderstand.

Themeaningoflifeisaboutwhatmakesyourlifefeelinterestingandgood.It’sassimpleasthat.Andtoachievethis,whatmainlycountsisfixingthings.Whenyoufixsomething,yousolveaproblemthatmatterstoyou.Youuseyourintelligenceandskilltoputsomethingright,tostopitbotheringorannoyingyou.It’snicedoingthiseveninquitesmallways.Forexample,maybeyourroomismessyandyoufixitbytidyingitup—itfeelslovelywhenit’sdone.Ormaybeyou’vehadanargumentwithyourmumandyoufixitbygivingherahug.Whatmakeslifebadisproblems,soitmakesalotofsensethatfixingproblemsisthethingwehavetodotomakelifegoodandgiveitmeaning.

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Itisnotalwaysquitesosimpleastidyingyourroomorgivingsomeoneahugthough.Therearebigproblemsaswellaslittleones.Abigproblemissomethingthat’sbadforotherpeopleaswellasforyou.Togetanideaofwhatyoucoulddotomakeyourwholelifemeaningful,youcanpickoutabigproblemthatyouwanttofix(ortohelpfix,becauseyoudon’thavetodoitallyourself).Weirdly,itdoesnotmatterhowbigorserioustheproblemfeelsrightnow.Itcouldbeaquestionlike‘Whycan’tcitiesbenicer?’or‘Howcanpeopleargueless?’or‘Whycan’teveryonemakefunnyjokes?’or‘Whycan’teveryonehaveanicejob?’Oryoucanjuststartwithsomethingthatbothersyou—maybethatpeopleleavetoomuchrubbishonthestreets,orthatyourfriendsspendtoomuchtimeontheirphonesinsteadoftalkingtoyou.Thesethingsareannoying,butthey’remorethanthat—theyareproblemsthatneedfixing.Yourannoyanceisgettingyoutonoticesomethingthat’snotveryniceintheworld—somethingthatcouldbefixed.Therearelotsofproblemsintheworldthatneedfixing.

Youprobablywon’tknowhowtofixyourproblemyet(thoughyoumighthavesomeinterestingideas),butthatdoesnotmatter.Theearlieryouaskyourselfaboutwhichbigproblemsneedfixing(andwhichyou’dliketohelpfix)thebetter.It’sgoodtothinkaboutthisearlyoninyourlife,becauseitgivesyouanideaofthekindsofskillsyoucouldlearnthatwillhelpyou.Sometimesschooldoesn’tfeelverymeaningfulbecauseyouthink,‘WhatdoIneedtolearnthisfor?’Educationbecomesveryexcitingwhenyoufeellikeyouneedtolearnsomethingbecauseit’llhelpyoufixanimportantproblem.

Maybeyouwillnotmanagetocompletelyfixabigproblem.Thatdoesn’tmattereither.Thepointis

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thatyou’retrying,andthatyou’rehelpingtofixtheproblemevenifit’sjustalittlebit.Yourlifefeelsinterestingifyouaretryingtodosomethinggood,andthatmeaningfulfeelingdependsonwhatyou’retryingtodo—notjustwhatyoumanagetocomplete.Youcanunderstandthisfeelingabitbetterbyimaginingthatyouaredoingajigsaw.Theremightbeapiecethatyoucan’tfigureoutwheretoputforawhile.Itwillreallyfrustrateyou,butyoutryandeventuallyyoufindtherightplace.Itfitsperfectlywiththeotherpiecesaroundit,anditfeelsgreattohavefinallyputitthere.You’vestillnotfinishedthewholepuzzle,butyoufeellikeyou’remakingprogress.

So,themeaningoflifeisnotsomethingbigorscary.It’sjustthefeelingthatyouaremakingprogressinsolvingtheproblemsthatmostinterestyou—evenifyouhaven’tgotitallsortedoutjustyet.

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Makealistofproblemsthatyouthinkareparticularlyinterestingtosolve.Forexample:

Howcanwemakecitiesnicertolivein?

Whyaresomepeoplemeantoeachother?

Whatisthebestwaytoliveahappylife?

OnephilosopherwhothoughtalotaboutwhatmakeslifefeelinterestingandsatisfyingwasamancalledAristotle.HelivedinAncientGreece,butwastooyoungtomeetSocrates(whowemetearlieronpage18).OneofAristotle’sjobswasveryinteresting.HewastheteacherofayoungprincecalledAlexander.Alexandersoonbecameking,andheledhisarmytoconquerpracticallyallthemostimportantcountriesatthattime.HewassosuccessfulthathebecameknownasAlexandertheGreat.Asyoucanimagine,itmusthavebeenaprettyoddexperienceforateachertoseesomeonetheytaughtgoonandconquertheworld.

Aristotlewasinterestedineverything.Helivedatatimewhenpeopledidnotknowmuchandhesetouttofindoutallsortsofthings—likehowtreesgrow,whythewindblows,what’sthebestkindofgovernmenttohave,whysomepeoplearehappierthanothers,howwormsareborn,howtopersuadepeopleandhowthinkingworks.

Oneofhisbigideaswasaboutskills.We’reusedtotheideaofskill—weknowthatyoucanbecomeskilledatshufflingcards(ifyoupractisealot)oratspeakingArabic(ifitisnotyourusuallanguage).However,Aristotlethoughtalotmorethingswereskills.Hethoughtthatthingslikemakingjokes,keepingcalm,beingkindandbeingsensiblewithmoneywereallskills,too.Hewasright.Peoplearenotbornknowinghowtodothese—theylearn.Everyonecanlearntobegoodatthesethings,itisjustthatnormalschooleducationdoesnotusuallyconcentrateonteachingthem.

Aristotlealsothoughtthatoneofthethingswemostenjoyisusingskilltoachievesomethingthatisimportanttous.Welikeaccomplishingthingsthatfeeldifficultatfirst,butwhichwecandealwithifwelearnhow.Whenwedothis,wefeellikeourabilitiesandintelligencearebeingproperlyused.Aristotlethoughtthathappinesswasaboutfeelingthatlifeismeaningful,andthatthiswasachievedbyhavinganimportantgoalandactivelyworkingtowardsit.

BIGIDEA#20

Doyoulovepineapples?Dotheymakeyoufeelabsolutelycrazywithexcitement?Probablynot.Lotsofpeoplequitelikepineapples,buthardlyanyonethinkstheyareamazinglywonderful.Twohundredyearsagoitwasverydifferent.Atthattime,pineappleswereveryexcitingindeed.Ifyouboughtapineappleyouwouldhaveaspecialpartyandinviteallyourfriendsroundtoadmireit—everyonewouldgettoeatatinylittlepiece,andthey’dtalkaboutitforweeksafterwards.

Whyaren’tweasexcitedbypineapplesaspeopleweretwohundredyearsago?Theystilltastethesame—thethingthat’schangedistheirprice.Todayapineappledoesn’tcostverymuch,buttwohundredyearsagotheywereextremelyexpensive.Inthosedays,itwasverydifficulttogrowpineapplesandkeepthemfreshonalongseavoyage.Theycostasmuchasacarcoststoday.Theywerethemostexpensivethingsyoucouldeat.

Eventually,though,peopleworkedouthowtogrowpineapplesquiteeasilyandthepricecamedown.Atthesametime,peoplebecamelessandlessexcitedbythem.Thestoryofpineapplestellsussomethingaboutourselves.Whensomethingisrareandexpensivewefinditexciting.But

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whensomethingischeapandeasytoget,westoppayingalotofattentiontoit.Westopnoticingwhatisactuallyniceaboutit.

Thinkabouthavingabath.It’squitenicetohaveabath,butyouprobablydonotthinkit’sespeciallyinteresting.However,forhundredsofyearspeoplethoughtthatbathswerethemostamazingthings.Theywouldgoonholidayjusttohaveabath.Bathshaven’tchanged—it’sjustthatit’sbecomeeasyandinexpensivetohaveone.Wedon’tthinkofthemassoimportant—havingabathcansometimesevenfeellikeabitofachore.Maybeyouhardlythinkatallabouthowniceaglassofwatercanbe.Itseemsprettyboring.Butifyou’vebeenrunningaroundandyougetverythirstyandyourmouthisdry,whenyoufinallygetasipofwaterit’samazing.It’sonlythenthatyounoticehowcleanandfreshwaterisandhowlovelyitfeelstodrinkit.Maybeifwaterwasveryexpensiveandyoucouldonlydrinkitonspecialoccasionsasatreat,you’dthinkwaterwasoneofthenicestthingsyoucouldpossiblyhave.

Thereisagoodtrickthatyoucanplayonyourselfthatcanhelpyoutorememberthevalueofsimplethings.Trygivingsomethingcheapthekindofattentionyou’dusuallygivetosomethingveryexpensive.Youcouldbiteintoapotatowedgeandreallythinkabouthowwarmandcomfortingittastes,asifyouwerethefirstpersontotryitinyourentirecountry.Oryoucouldimagineyouaretheonlypersonintheworldwhoisallowedtobrushtheirteeth—you’dbeamazedbywhataninterestingexperienceitis,andhowfreshyourmouthfeelsafterwards.Ortryimaginingthatapencilcostsasmuchasacar—you’llstarttonoticehowcleveritisthatyoucansharpenitanduseittomakemarksonpaper.

Wecanchoosetogiveattentiontoanything—nomatterhowsmallorseeminglyordinary—andmakeitinturnmuchnicer.

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MaryWollstonecraftwasanEnglishphilosopherwhowasbornin1759,overtwohundredyearsago.ShewasraisedinLondon,andherchildhoodwasnotveryhappybecauseherparentsquarrelledalot.Whenshewasolder,sheandhersistersopenedaschool—thiswasquiteascandal,becauseatthattimealotofpeoplethoughtthatonlyboysshouldgetagoodeducation,butMaryWollstonecraftdisagreedverystrongly.Shewasaverygoodteacherandshewroteaphilosophybookforchildren(oneofthechaptersinherbookisaboutprocrastination—anideawemetearlieroninthisbook,too).Shelikedgoingtopartiesandbecamefriendswithalotofinterestingpeople.Shewasverybrave—andnottooworriedaboutwhatpeoplemightthinkofher.Once,shetravelledtoSweden,NorwayandDenmarktotrytorescuesometreasurethathadbeenstolenfromoneofherfriends.

MaryWollstonecraftwasveryinterestedinhowpeoplespendmoney.Shetriedtoteachpeopletothinkhardaboutwhattheyreallywantedbeforetheyboughtanything.MaryWollstonecraftcalledthisideaofthinkinghardaboutthingsbeing‘rational’.Shefeltthatalotofwell-offpeoplewastedtheirmoneyonthingstheydidnotlikeorenjoy(shedefinitelywouldnothaveencouragedpeopletospendafortunebuyingexpensivepineapples).Itisnotthatshethoughtitwasnicetobepoor—shelikedwearingniceclothesandwasverypleasedwhenshemademoneyfromthebooksshewrote—butshethoughtthatalotofpeopleforgethownicesimpleandordinarythingscanactuallybe.Shetriedtohelpthemremember—andhopefullyshecanhelpyouremember,too.

BIGIDEA#21

Youseewhat’sonthenewseverywhere.It’sontelevisionandtherearenewspaperseverydaythatarefilledwitharticlesandphotos.Quiteoftenthenewsisnotverynice:there’sawarsomewhere;anearthquakehashappened,oraflood;there’sbeenabomb;orsomeonehashurtsomeoneorrobbedsomewhere.Itcanbefrightening.Sometimesthenewsisaboutafamoussingerorsportsperson,arichbusinessmanandthenewyachthe’sbought,oraboutpoliticiansmakingimportantdecisions.Thereisalotofnews.Itcanfeellikethenewsistellingyoueverythingthat’sgoingonintheworld—maybeyourideaofwhattheworldislikeismadeupofthingsyouhaveseenonthenews.

Butthereissomethingverystrangeaboutthenews:itactuallymissesoutnearlyeverything.Thinkofallthethingsthatyouneverseeinthenewspaper.Therewasn’tastoryabouthowyouhadagoodtimeatyourfriend’shouselastweek,oraboutthecakeyourbrothermadeyourmumforherbirthday,orthefunnythingyourdadsaidyesterdayorabouthowlovelyitiswhensomeonereadsyouastory.Therearelotsofthingsthat

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happeninyourlifethatarenotinthenews—andthat’sjustinyourlife.Thesamesortsofthingsaregoingonforalmosteveryone.PerhapstwoboysinSingaporefellout,thenmadefriendsagain.That’simportant—butitwasn’tinthenews.AgirlinSouthAfricacouldhavethoughtshe’dlostherfavouritetrousers,butitturnedouthermumhadputtheminthelaundrybasket.Stillnotinthenews.ProbablyacatinMadridinSpainfoundalovelywarmwindowsillandlaytherethewholeafternoon,butthatdidn’tevenmakeitintothelocalpapers.Therearebillionsofthingslikethisthathappeneveryday—andnoneofthemareinthenews.Iftheywere,you’dgetaverydifferent—andmorecorrect—pictureofwhattheworldislike.

Thesekindsofstoriesdonotgettalkedaboutinthenewsbecausethenewsusuallyonlyincludesthestoriesthatareshockingorveryunusual.Mostofthethingsthathappenintheworldaren’treallylikethat.Thenewstendstoconcentrateonthebadthingsthathappenintheworld,tokeeppeopleinformedandtokeeptheminterested,butifwewatchalotofnewswecanbegintofeelasifeverythingintheworldisawful.Itisn’t.Actually,lotsofgoodandwisethingsaregoingonaswell—itisjustthattheydon’tgetthesameattentionasthebadthings,sotheyarehardertonotice.Imagineyoumadeavideoofthethreeworstthingsthathappenedtoyouinonedayandshowedittoyourparents—they’dgetatotallywrongideaofwhatthewholedayhadbeenlike.

Whenyouwatchorreadthenewsitisimportanttorememberthatitisonlyusuallyshowingyouaverytinyselectionofwhatisgoingonintheworld.Theworldisnotsuchabadplace—you’rejustnotbeingshownthegoodbits.

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JacquesDerridawasaFrenchphilosopher.Helivedquiterecently,from1930until2004.HewasborninAlgeriaonthenorthcoastofAfrica,althoughinthosedaysAlgeriawasstillpartofFrance.Hewasverykeenonfootballandoriginallyhewantedtomakethathiscareer.(Funnilyenough,Derridawasverymuchinspiredbyanotherphilosopherwhowemetearlier,AlbertCamus.CamusalsogrewupinAlgeriaandlovedfootball.)Lateroninhislife,DerridamovedtoParistogotouniversity.Hewrotealotofbooksandbecameveryfamous.Inhissparetime,helovedplayingsnooker.Hewasreallyfondofcats,too,andhishairwasusuallyquitemessy.

Derridawasverycuriousaboutwhatpeoplesay,andalsowhattheydon’tsay—thethingspeoplekeepquietaboutordon’twanttopayattentionto.Ifhewasreadinganewspaper,he’dalwaysbethinkingaboutallthestoriesthatcouldbeintherebutweren’t.Whyweren’ttheythere?

Derridathoughtthatpeopleoftenhavebigreasonswhytheyignorethings.It’snotjustamistake—they’renotsimplyforgettingtomentionsomething.Theyaredoingitsotheycankeepsayingsomethingelse—sotheycanpretend.It’sthesamesometimeswithnewspapersandthenews:theydonotjustforgetthatlotsofniceornormalthingsaregoingonallthetime;theyactuallywanttomakeitseemliketheworldismoredramaticanddangerousthanitreallyis.

BIGIDEA#22

Itmightseemlikeafunnyidea,butart—thekindofartyouseeinanartgallery—isratherlikeadvertising.Advertisingisverypowerful.It’soneofthebiggestbusinessesintheworld,becauselotsofhugecompaniesdependongettingpeopletobuywhattheyareselling.Everydayyouprobablyseehundredsofadverts—forpizzas,cars,holidays,chocolatebars,toys,games,watches,handbags,shoes…itcanfeellikeabsolutelyeverythingyoucouldpossiblyneedisadvertised.

Butactually,lotsofthingsdonotgetadvertised—atleast,notusually.Therearenotanynormaladvertsforbeinganicefriend,orforgettingonwellwithyourmum,orforbeingkindtoyourbrotherorsister,orforrecognisingwhatislovelyabouttreesorcloudsorforjustbeinghappyonyourown.Allthesethingsareveryimportant,buttheydonotusuallygetadvertised.Excepttheysortofdo—inart.Youmightlikemakingart—drawingpictures,doingcollages,paintingandmakingthingsoutofclay—buttheartingalleriescanseemprettyboringandonlyforadults.Thatisnotreallytrue,though.Artisforeveryone.Andartisverygoodatadvertisingsomeofthemostimportantthingsinlifethatmightgetoverlookedotherwise.

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Thispaintingisanadvertforbeingnicetoyourbrotherorsister.Itisanadvertbecausebypaintingit,theartistissayingitisimportant,andbymakingitbeautifulandappealing,heistryingtogetyoutowantit.Thepicturedoesn’twantyoutobuyapianoorbluedress;itwantsyoutobekindtoayoungerchildwhoisbeingabitsilly,justlikethegirlishere.PianoPracticeInterrupted,WillemBartelvanderKooi,1813.

Thispaintingisanadvertforlookingatclouds.Bymakingthecloudslookinterestingandpretty,itwantstoexplaintoyouhowmuchyoumightenjoylookingatthesky.It’snottryingtogetyoutobuyanything,butitistryingtogetyoutodosomething.ALandscapewithaRuinedCastleandaChurch,JacobvanRuisdael,1665–70.

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Thisisanadvertforcrouchingdownamongweedsandmud,lookingcloselyatbladesofgrassandseeinghoweachleafisadifferentshape.Lookingatthispaintingshouldmakeyouthinkabouthowinterestingitmightbetodothat,andtopaycloseattentiontothenaturearoundyou.GreatPieceofTurf,AlbrechtDürer,1503.

Friendship,AgnesMartin,1963.

Sometimesaworkofartadvertisesafeeling.Thisoneisanadvertforfeelingquietandhappyonyourown.Theartistdrewthelinesbyhandandmeasuredthemallperfectly.Sheenjoyedworkingaloneandconcentratingverycarefullyonherart,sothispicturehelpsremindusofhowfunitcanbetodosomethingbyourselves.

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Somepeoplethinkthatadvertisingisbadbecauseitmakesuswantthingswedon’treallyneed.They’vegotapoint—someadvertisingdoesdothat.Butthat’snotthewholestory.Therearethingswereallydoneedthatit’sgoodtoberemindedofaswell.That’swhereartcomesin—itcanmakeusconcentrateonsomeofthebeautifulandimportantthingsinlife.Ifyouwanttomakefriendswithaworkofart,agoodquestiontoaskis:whatnicethingisthisadvertising?

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GeorgWilhelmFriedrichHegelwasaGermanphilosopherwhowasbornjustovertwohundredyearsago,in1770.Heworkedveryhardatschoolandalmostalwaysgottopgrades.Later,hebecametheheadmasterofaschoolandthenhewasinchargeofanewspaperbeforeeventuallyhebecameauniversityprofessor.HelikedtostayupverylateandifyouhadvisitedhiminhisflatinBerlinatmidnight,youwouldhavefoundhimworkinghard.Helovedplayingcardgamesandsingingsongswithhisfriendsandhewroteenormous,verycomplicatedbooks.Hebecameveryfamousindeed.

Hegellikedideasalot,butherealisedsomethingquitesadaboutthem:wecanveryeasilyignorethem.Herealisedthatusuallyweneedtoseeandfeelthingsbeforewecangetexcited.IfsomeonejusttellsyouthatthebeachesinAustraliaaregreat,thatprobablydoesnotmakemuchdifferencetoyou—butifyouseeapictureitmight.Thepictureshowsyouthelong,widestripofsoftsand,therocksandwavesandthewarmsunshine.Thatmakestheideaofanicebeachcomealiveinyourbrain.Itmakessenseifyouthinkaboutit,becauseseeingandfeelingareveryimportanttous.Weseeandfeelevenwhenwearelittlebabies,butweonlystarttothinkwhenweareolder.Sowhatarthastodo,Hegelsaid,istojoinupanideawithourfeelings.Hegelsaidthatartmakesideasthatyoucanseeandfeel.Andthatmakesthemmuchmorepowerful.

BIGIDEA#23

Peoplegetpaidverydifferentamountsofmoneyfortheworktheydo.Forsomejobs,yougetalotofmoney,butforothers,onlyalittle.Whyistherethisdifference?Whydoesatopfootballplayerorsomeoneinchargeofalawfirmgetpaidsomuchmorethanabusdriverorsomeonewhoworksinacafé?

Paydoesnotdependonhowniceajobisorhownicethepersonwhodoesitis.Thereallyimportantquestionis:‘Howmanypeoplecandothisjob?’Iflotsofpeoplecoulddoajobquitewellthenthepaywilloftenbeless.Mostpeoplecouldmanagetodriveabusorbeawaiterorwaitress,soifyouwererunningabusfirmoracaféandyouneededanewworkeryouwouldn’thavetooffermuchmoneytogetsomeonetodoit.

Butsupposeyouareinchargeofafootballclubandyouwantyourteamtowinalotofmatches.Youhavetogettheverybestplayers.Therewillbehardlyanyplayersgoodenough.Alltheclubswantthesepeopletoplayforthem,sotheyoffermoreandmoremoneytoattracttheveryfewreallytalentedandskilledplayers.Ormaybeyou’rethebossatalawfirm.

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Onlyafewpeopleknowenoughaboutallthedifferentlawstodothejobwell,andlotsoffirmswouldliketohirethem.Soyouwouldhavetooffermoreandmoremoneytoattractthebestpeople.Thisexplainswhyhardlyanyonemakesalotofmoney.Theonlyjobsthatpayreallywellarejobsthathardlyanyonecandowell.Anyjobthatalotofpeoplecandowon’tbepaidverywell,becausetheydon’thavetoconvincepeopletodoit—itwilljustbepaidanaverage,normalamount.

Thisisalsowhyhighly-paidjobsarenotalwaysparticularlyenjoyable.They’reusuallyverystressful.Ifyou’rebeingpaidalotofmoney,peopleexpectyoutobeverygoodatwhatyouaredoing,allthetime.Ifawaiterorwaitressspillssomejuiceonsomeone,that’sabitannoying,butit’sreallyquiteasmallproblem.However,ifthepersoninchargeofalawfirmmakesamistakeitcouldcostthefirmmillionsofpounds.Thereisalwayssomethingbigthatcouldgowrong—andtheyknowit.

Unfortunately,evenifyouareverygoodatsomething,youstillmightnotmakealotofmoney.Itdependsonhowmuchpeopleneedyoutodoit.Supposeyouarevery,verygoodatstandingononeleg—youcandoitforhours.That’samazing.Butit’sprobablynotgoingtomakeyourich,becausetherearen’tmanypeoplewhoneedorwantyoutodothat.

Ifyouwanttohaveajobthatpayswell,therearetwothingsyouhavetokeepinmind:youhavetoworkoutwhatyoucandoverywellthatlotsofotherpeoplewantdone,andyouhavetoworkouthowmuchyouwouldmindthestressthatusuallygoeswithahigh-payingjob.Youalsohavetorememberthatlotsofjobswhichdon’tpaythatwellarestillveryimportantandfuntodo.Someofthegreatestartistsandwriterswhoeverlivedwerenotverysuccessfulwhenitcametomakingmoney.Therearelotsofimportantpeopleintheworldwhoarenotrich.

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AdamSmithwasborninScotlandabouttwohundredandfiftyyearsago.Hegrewupinthecountrysideandlovedexploringthehillsandwoods.Hewasprettygoodatschoolandwhenhewasolderhegotajobteachinginauniversity.Hewasaverygoodteacher.Hewasinterestedinkindnessandsympathy(beingsensitivetowhatotherpeoplearefeeling),buthewasalsoveryinterestedinhowmoneyworksandinhowpeople(andwholecountries)canmakemoremoney.Thiswasveryimportanttohimbecausewhenhewasyounger,Scotlandwasquiteapoorcountry—noteveryonehadshoesorenoughtoeat.

AdamSmithsaidthatthewaytomakemoneyistothinkaboutwhatotherpeopleneed,andthentomakethosethingsmorecheaply.Everyoneneedsshoes,forinstance,butinScotlandalotofpeopledidn’thaveshoesbecausetheycostsomuchtomake(ittookawholedayforonepersontomakeapairofshoes).Thetrick,saidAdamSmith,wastostartashoefactory.Usingmachinesandgettingalotofpeopleorganisedmeansthatyoucanmakealotmoreshoesmuchmorequicklyandcheaply,solotsmorepeoplecanbuythem.

AdamSmithrealisedsomethingratheramazing:ifyouwanttomakemoney,itisnotenoughjusttoask,‘Whatdopeopleneed?’Youhavetoworkouthowtomakealotofthosethingscheaplysothattheyareaccessibletothegreatestnumberofpeople.

BIGIDEA#24

Somefamilieshavemoreandsomefamilieshaveless.Somepeoplehaveswimmingpools,whileothersdonotevenhaveagarden.Somepeoplegoonlotsofholidaysandothershavetostayathome.Somehousesarehuge,butothersarenotveryniceatall.

Isitfairthatsomepeoplehavelotsofnicethingsandothersdonot?Philosophershavethoughtalotaboutwhatmakesthingsfair.Theyarecalled‘political’philosophers,andtheytrytoworkouthowtheworldcanbefairer.Butbeforetheycandothat,theyhavetoaskatrickyquestion:whatis‘fair’?Whatdoes‘fair’actuallymean?

Imagineyouarecuttingupapizzatosharewithotherpeople.Iftherearesixpeopleitseemsonlyfairtocutitintosixpiecesthatareallthesamesize.Theneveryonewillgetthesame.Ifyouwereinchargeoftheworld,couldyoudothesamewithmoneyandhousesandniceholidays?Woulditbefairifyougaveeveryoneexactlythesame?Youwouldthinkso,butmaybenot.Somepeopleworkmuchharderthanothers.Some

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peoplehaveverygoodideasthathelpalotofotherpeople.Maybeit’sOKiftheygetmore.Orwhatifsomeone’sparentsarereallyquitenice—theyhelptheirchildrenlotsandlistencarefullyandtakethemoninterestingtrips.Couldyousay:‘Itisnotfairthatyouhavesuchniceparentsbecauseotherpeopledonothavesuchniceparents—yourparentsshouldnotbeallowedtobesogoodtoyou’.Or,ifsomeoneisreallygoodatmathsorrunning,isthatfair?Wouldyousay:‘You’llhavetowearveryheavyshoesandmissallthemathslessonssothateveryonecanbethesameatrunningandatmaths’?Probablynot.

Somaybetheideaofmakingeverythingthesamedoesn’treallywork.Ofcoursetherewillbesomedifferences.Theproblemis,howbigwilltheybe?Tomakeeverythingasfairaspossible,you’dwanteveryonetobeasequalaspossible.Thinkaboutthis:whatif,beforeyouwereevenborn,youwereabletolookdownfromtheskyatthewholeworld.Youcanseeallthelivesthatpeopleareleading,butyoudon’tknowwhichlifewasgoingtobeyours.Youcanseeallthefamilies,butyoudon’tknowwhichfamilyyoumightbeborninto,whathouseyou’llliveinorwhatschoolyou’llgoto.Youmightbeluckyandlandinaniceplaceandgetsomeverynicethings,oryoumightbeunluckyandgettheworstones.

Lookingatonecountry,youmightseesomereallygreatplacesyoucouldland.Therearefamilieswithhelicoptersandamazinghouseswithtwoswimmingpools.Butthenyounoticethatmostofthefamiliesinthiscountryhavehardlyanything,andmostoftheschoolsarecrumbling.Thechancesarethatyoucouldendupwithsomethinghorrible,sothatcountrydoesn’tseemveryappealing.

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Thenyoulookatanothercountry.Inthiscountry,therearequitealotofgoodplaces(thoughnooneatallownsahelicopterorhastwoswimmingpools).Therearehardlyanyreallyawfulplaces.Eventhepeoplewhodonothavesomuchstillhaveenough.Maybetheirhouseissmallerbutit’sstillOK;maybethereisaschoolthatisnotquiteasgood,butitisnotthatbad.Probablyyouwouldthinkthatit’swisertochoosethiscountry—evenifyouendupgettingtheworstplacehere,yourlifewillstillbeprettygood.

Thinkingaboutcountrieslikethisisaninterestingtestforhowfairacountryis.Totalequalityandfairnessmightnotbepossible,andnoteveryonewillhavethesame,butatleastinthesecondcountrynooneishavingareallyawfultimewhileotherpeoplehaveeverything.

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Imagineyourselfbeforeyourbirth.Youcanchooseanycountryintheworldtolivein,butyoucan’ttellwhetheryouwillberichorpoor.Wherewouldyouchoosetolive?

Whatdoesthattellyou?

TherewasanAmericanphilosophercalledJohnRawlswholivednottoolongago—from1921to2002.Thatisquiterecentforaphilosopher,manyofwhomlivedalongtimeago.Itmightseemlikeallphilosophersareancient,butthegoodthingaboutphilosophyisthatitdoesn’treallymatterwhenagoodideawasthoughtup.Somegoodideashavebeenaroundforalongtime,whileothersarequitenew—butwhatmattersishowhelpfultheyaretous.

JohnRawlsgrewupinBaltimoreintheUSA.Hisfamilywasquitewelloffandhisparentswereverygoodtohim,buttherewerelotsofverypoorandunhappypeoplewholivednearbyandevenasachildhewasworriedaboutthis.Whywashislifesonicewhenotherpeoplehadsuchadifficulttime?Hedecidedhe’dtrytodosomethingaboutitwhenhegrewup.

Onethingthatreallystruckhimwasthatevenincountriesthatarerich,thereareusuallystillalotofpeoplewhohaveterriblelives.Theproblemisn’thowtomakethiscountryricher(it’srichalready),buthowtosplitupthegoodthingsitalreadyhas.Whydoesn’tthathappen?Hethoughtitwasbecausewedon’thaveasharedideaofwhat’sfair.That’swhyheinventedthetestthatwe’vejustbeenlookingat.Hecalledthisthe‘veilofignorance’.WouldyouthinkthiswasanOKcountrytolivein,ifyoudidn’tknowwhichbitofityouweregoingtohavetolivein?Ifwehavegoodideaswecantrytosolvereallydifficultproblems.

BIGIDEA#25

Youprobablyknowquitealotaboutshyness.Childrenveryoftenfeelshyaroundnewpeople.Ifyoustartatanewschoolwhereyoudonotknowanyone,youprobablyfeellikeit’sgoingtobedifficulttogettoknowtheotherchildrenthere—whatiftheydon’tlikeyou?Orperhapsonetimeyourmumordadtakesyoutovisitsomeoftheirfriends.Theyseemsodifferent.Theycomefromanothercountry.Maybetheyhaveadaughterwhoisolderthanyouandhasanameyoudon’tknowhowtosay,‘Marie-Christine’.Sheseemssodifferent.Youcannotthinkofanythingtosay.Youfeelshy.

Let’strytolookinsideshynessandseewhatit’sactuallymadeof.Shynessistheideathatbecausesomeoneisastranger,youdonotknowwhattosaytothemorhowtoact.Withyourfriendsit’susuallyeasybecauseyoualreadyknowwhattheyarelike—youknowwhattheyliketalkingaboutandwhattheylikedoing.Butwithanewperson,itcanfeelveryhard.That’sactuallyverynormal.Youjusthavetofindoutwhatthey’relike.Itisnotbecausethere’ssomethingwrongwithyou,orwiththem.Youjust

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don’tknowwhattheyarelike,orhowtheyfeelcomfortablebehaving.Itisimpossibletoknowthatatthebeginning—foreveryone.

Thethingthatcanmakeabigdifferencetohowyoufeelisanidea.Eventhoughanotherpersonlooksandsoundsdifferentandyoudon’tknowthem,youcanbesurethatreallytheyaren’tdifferentfromyou.Marie-Christinemightdoherhairdifferentlytoyou,andmaybeshe’sneverwatchedanyofyourfavouriteTVprogrammesandisquietwhileyouareloud,butyouprobablyhavesomethingsincommon.Ifyou’reinterestedingoingcamping,youcouldaskherifshehaseverbeencamping.Orifyoulikedancingoracting,youcouldaskifshelikesdoingthosethings,too.Probablyshewon’tlikeexactlythesamethings(thatwouldbeveryunusual)buttherewillbesomethingyouarebothinterestedin.Andit’sgoodtotrytofindout.Remember,too,thatsheprobablyfeelsjustthesamewaythatyoudo.

Youmightnotrealiseit,butalotofgrown-upsgetshytoo.It’salwaysthesameproblem.Theythinkthatbecausesomeoneisabitdifferent,theywon’thaveanythingincommon.It’snotalwaysobviouswhatyoumighthaveincommonwithsomeoneyou’venevermetbefore,especiallyiftheycomefromadifferentplaceorareadifferentagefromyou,butactuallytheymusthavealotincommonwithyou.Becausetheyareahumanbeing,too.Andthesamebasicthingsthathavehappenedtoyou,havehappenedtothem:they’vegotparents,andfriends,theygetboredandlonely,theygetfrightened,theyworryaboutthings,theylikestories(thoughyoudon’tknowwhichonesyet),theyhavehobbies(thoughyoudon’tknowwhattheyareatfirst),theylikegoingonholiday(butyoudon’tknowwhere).Everyonehastheseproblemsandthesekindsofinterests.Soevenifyouaremeetingsomeoneforthefirsttime,youknowroughlywheretostartlookingforthingsyoushare—evenwithMarie-Christine.

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MaimonideswasaJewishphilosopherwhowasborninCordoba,Spain,inthe12thcentury—morethaneighthundredyearsago.Hewasveryfondofhisyoungerbrother.WhenhegrewupheworkedasadoctorinMoroccoandtheninEgypt,wherehebecamethepersonaldoctortothesultan,orruler,ofthecountry.HewasinterestedinhowtobeagoodpersonandwasveryimpressedbyAristotle,theGreekthinkerwemetearlier.

Maimonideswasveryinterestedinthewaysinwhichpeopleseemsodifferent—theylookdifferent,theyenjoydifferentgames,theyaregoodatdifferentthings,theyaredifferentages,theyliveindifferentcountries,theylikehavingdifferentthingsforbreakfast,theyweardifferentclothes.Wetendtolookatotherpeople—orgroupsofpeople—andfeel‘thesepeoplearenotlikeme,Ican’tunderstandthemorbefriendswiththem’.ButMaimonidesdidnotlikethisattitude.Hethoughtthatbehindallthesedifferencesweareallactuallyquitesimilar—wesharealotthat’sreallyimportant.Kindnessandloveareimportanttoeveryone.Everyonewantstobelikedandunderstood(eveniftheydon’tsayso).Thedetailsvaryfrompersontopersonbutthebasicpictureofbeinghumanisthesameforeveryone.Weareactuallymuchmorelikeotherpeoplethanweusuallythink.Thereisnoneedtobesoshy.

BIGIDEA#26

Haveyoueverfeltsorryforagrown-up?Inparticular,foryourownparents?Itsoundsalittlestrangebecauseadultsseemtohavesomanyadvantages.Theycandowhatevertheywant(noschool,nobedtimes),theyhavemoney,theycandriveandtheyknowlotsofthings.Sometimes,though,youmightseethemlookingworriedorsad—orevencrying.

Whatgoeswrongwithadultlife?Quitealotofthingscan,onceyouthinkaboutit.Maybeanadultendsupdoingajobtheydon’tlikethatmuch.Theyhavetospendahugepartoftheirlifeatwork,doingthejobtheydon’tenjoy.It’snoteasytostopdoingit,becausetheyneedthemoneyanditistrickyfindingsomethingbetter.Theyfeelthattheycouldbedoingsomethingbetterwiththeirlife.Theymighthavetalentstheyhavenotproperlydeveloped.Orperhapstheyfeelliketheymarriedthewrongperson.Itseemsasifthatwouldbeahardmistaketomake,butit’snotreally.It’slikemakingfriendswithsomeonebutitturnsoutyoudon’thavemuchincommon.Youmayhaveexperiencedthatbefore.Butwhenyougetmarried,it’samuchbiggerproblembecauseyoumighthavechildrenwiththem,orshareahousetogether,andyouwouldfeel

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terribleaboutleavingallofthat.Adultsoftenworryaboutmoney,too.Maybetheyspendtoomuch,ormaybetheydon’tmakeenough.Anotherofthebigthingsthatbothersadultsisgettingolder.Atthemoment,youprobablyfeellikeyouhaveendlesstimestretchingoutbeforeyou,withsomanypossibilitiesforwhatmighthappen.Adultsoftenfeelliketheydon’thaveenoughtime—they’vealreadylivedhalfoftheirlifeormore.Theyfeelthattimeisrunningout.

Itispossibletomanagetheproblemsofadultlifebetter.Butit’stricky.Peopledon’tteachyouhowtodoit.Youneedalotofskills:howtochoosewhotogetmarriedto,howtodealwithmoney,howtochooseajobyoureallylike,howtofacethefactthatyouaregettingoldereverydayandaregoingbald.Generallypeopledon’tgettaughttheseskills.It’sabitlikebeingaskedtoflyaplanewithouthavinganylessonsfirst.It’snotimpossibletoflyaplane,butyoucan’tdoitwithoutanypreparation—youneedtolearntheskills.Youneedalotofskillstobeanadult,butadultsaren’tusuallytaughtthem.

Quiteoftengrown-upsseechildrenas‘innocent’.Theydon’treallymeanthatchildrenarelovelyandsweetallthetime(they’renotthatstupid).Whattheymeanisthatchildrendon’tyetknowaboutsomeofthenormal,difficultthingsthatcomewithgrowingup.Adultsdon’toftentellchildrenabouttheirproblems.That’sunderstandable:they’retryingtobekindandstopyoufromworryingaboutthefuture,sothatyoucanenjoywhat’sgoingonnow.

Butmaybethere’sanotheridea.Maybe,ifyoulearnaboutthenormaltroublesofadultlifenow,beforetheyhappen,youwillseethattheyarenotsoscaryafterall,andyoucanlearnhowtodealwiththembetterwhenthetimecomes.

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Philosophyisoneofthewaysthatwedealwiththedifficultiesoflife.Oneofthemainwaysthatithelpsusisbygivingusinformationaboutthingsbeforewedesperatelyneedit,sothatwecanbeprepared.Ratherthanonlyconcentratingonwhatishappeningrightnow,wehavetobebraveandlookquitecarefullyatthethingsthatwillhappeninlifelateron—andtoseewhatmightgowrong.Wedon’thavetodealwiththosethingsstraightaway,butonedaywewill.Sothere’snopointinpretendingtheywillnothappen.

We’renotdoingthistomakeourselvesmiserablenow,though.It’snottryingtoruinthehappinesswehaveatthemomentbyrealisingthatwemighthaveabadtimelater.Actually,itistheopposite.Ifyouhaveanideaofthechallengesyou’llfaceearlyon,youcanstarttodeveloptheskillsyouwillneedtocopewiththem.It’sabitlikeclimbingaveryhighmountain.Ifyouthinkit’sgoingtobeeasyandfun,youwillbeshockedtofindoutthatactually,it’sprettydifficult.Butifyoutrainbeforehandbywalkinguplotsofsmallermountains,andyoutalktopeoplewho’vedoneitalready(andwhohavemadeplentyofmistakesalongtheway),youcanlearnfromwhat’shappenedtothemandprepareyourself.Youneedakindofmountain-climbingfriendwhocangiveyouinformationinadvanceandteachyoutheskillsyouneed.

Philosophyisratherlikethis—butobviouslyit’snotgotanythingtodowithclimbingmountains.Philosophyisabouthowwefacethenormaldifficultiesofadultlife.It’snotfrightenedabouthowtrickylifecanbe—it’sgotloadsofexperience,andhasdoneitallbefore.

Inthisway,philosophyisakindof‘life-friend’.Itisnotaperson—it’sawholegroupofpeopleandtheirideas.They’vefacedalotoftroublesandtriedtolearnhowtodealwiththem.Thisbooktriestogiveyousomeideasabouthowyoucanunderstandlife,andhowtomakeitabiteasierthanitsometimesturnsouttobe.That’swhatphilosophytriestodo,too.

INDEX

Buddha563BC–483BCTaulihawa,Nepal

P92Confucius

551BC–479BCLu,Zhou(nowChina)

P64Socrates

470BC–399BCAthens,Greece

P18Aristotle

384BC–322BCAthens,Greece

P116

Seneca4BC–AD65Rome,Italy

P44HypatiaofAlexandria

360(approx)–415Alexandria,Egypt

P68IbnSina(Avicenna)

980–1037Bukhara,Persia&Hamadan,Iran

P34Maimonides1135–1204

Morocco&EgyptP144

MicheldeMontaigne1533–1592

Guyenne,FranceP110

RenéDescartes1596–1650

France,Netherlands&SwedenP60

ZeraYacob1599–1692

Emfraz,EthiopiaP40

MatsuoBasho1664–1694Osaka,Japan

P50Jean-JacquesRousseau

1712–1778Switzerland&France

P74AdamSmith1723–1790

Edinburgh,ScotlandP134

ImmanuelKant1724–1804

Königsberg,Prussia(nowRussia)P98

MaryWollstonecraft1759–1797

London,EnglandP120

GeorgWilhelmFriedrichHegel1770–1831

Berlin,GermanyP130

RalphWaldoEmerson1803–1882

Massachusetts,U.S.AP86

FriedrichNietzsche1844–1900

Switzerland&GermanyP80

LudwigWittgenstein1889–1951

Vienna,Austria&Cambridge,EnglandP24

Jean-PaulSartre1905–1980Paris,France

P104SimonedeBeauvoir

1908–1986Paris,France

P30

AlbertCamus1913–1960

Algeria&FranceP54

JohnRawls1921–2002

Massachusetts,U.S.AP140

JacquesDerrida1930–2004

Algeria&FranceP124

THESCHOOLOFLIFE

TheSchoolofLifeisaglobalorganisationdedicatedtodevelopingemotionalintelligence.Weapplypsychology,philosophyandculturetoeverydaylife.Wehavecreatedarangeofthoughtfulstationery,gamesandgiftsthatcomplementourclasses,booksandvideos,

toenlightenusabout,consoleusforandexplainthehumancondition.www.theschooloflife.com

LISTOFARTWORKSP128–P129WillemBartelvanderKooi,PianoPracticeInterrupted,1813.Oiloncanvas,147cm×121cm.Rijksmuseum,Amsterdam.GiftofH.vanderKooi,Leeuwarden.

JacobvanRuisdael,ALandscapewithaRuinedCastleandaChurch,1665.Oiloncanvas,109cmx146cm.NationalGallery,London.

AlbrechtDürer,GreatPieceofTurf,1503.Watercolour,40cm×31cm.Albertina,Vienna.

AgnesMartin,Friendship,1963.Incisedgoldleafandgessooncanvas,190.5x190.5cm.MuseumofModernArt,NewYork.GiftofCelesteandArmandP.Bartos.Acc.n.:502.1984.©2018.Digitalimage,TheMuseumofModernArt,NewYork/Scala,Florence.

IMAGECREDITSP151–P155GUATAMABUDDHA,‘Untitled’,susuteh.CreativeCommons.

CONFUCIUS,‘Confucius’,gouacheonpaper,c.1770.EncyclopediaBritannica.WikimediaCommons.

SOCRATES,‘TheDeathofSocrates’(1787),Jacques-LouisDavid(1748–1825).CatherineLorillardWolfeCollection,WolfeFund,1931.WikimediaCommons.

ARISTOTLE,‘BustofAristotle’,after330BC.Marble,RomancopyafteraGreekbronzeoriginalbyLysipposfrom330BC;thealabastermantleisamodernaddition.AfterLysippos,300–390BC.LudovisiCollection.Jastrow.WikimediaCommons.

SENECA,‘TheDyingSeneca’,1612–13,PeterPaulRubens(1577–1640).WikimediaCommons.

HYPATIAOFALEXANDRIA,‘PortraitofHypatia’,1908,JulesMauriceGaspard(1862–1919).ElbertHubbard,“Hypatia”,inLittleJourneystotheHomesofGreatTeachers,v.23#4,EastAurora,NewYork:TheRoycrofters,1908(375p.2v.ports.21cm).WikimediaCommons.

IBNSINA,‘Avicenna—IbnSina’,May2014,BlondinrikardFröberg.Flickr,CreativeCommons.

MAIMONIDES,IllustrationfromBrockhausandEfronJewishEncyclopedia(1906–1913).WikimediaCommons.

MICHELDEMONTAIGNE,WikimediaCommons.

RENEDESCARTES,‘PortraitofRenéDescartes’(1596–1650),circa1649–1700,afterFransHals(1582/3–1666).AndréHatala[e.a.](1997)DeeeuwvanRembrandt,Bruxelles:CréditcommunaldeBelgique,ISBN2–908388–32–4.WikimediaCommons.

ZERAYACOB,‘LalibelaSunsetwithBetGiorgis’,2007,A.Davey,Lalibela,Ethiopia.WikimediaCommons.

MATSUOBASHO,‘PortraitofMatsuoBasho’,Hokusai,

c.18th–19thcentury.WikimediaCommons.

JEAN-JACQUESROUSSEAU,‘PortraitofJean-JacquesRousseau’,1753,MauriceQuentindeLaTour(1704–1788).WikimediaCommons.

ADAMSMITH,‘PortraitofAdamSmith’,18thcentury,artistunknown.WikimediaCommons.

IMMANUELKANT,‘ImmanuelKant’,1791,J.L.RaabafterapaintingbyDöbler.WikimediaCommons.

MARYWOLLSTONECRAFT,‘PortraitofMaryWollstonecraft’,c.1790–1791,JohnOpie(1761–1807).WikimediaCommons.

GEORGWILHELMFRIEDRICHHEGEL,‘PortraitofG.W.F.Hegel’(1770–1831),after1828,steelengravingbyLazarusGottliebSichling(1812–1863)afteralithographbyJuliusL.Sebbers(1804—).

RALPHWALDOEMERSON,‘ImageofAmericanphilosopherpoetRalphWaldoEmerson’,dated1859.ScannedfromRalphWaldoEmerson,JohnLothropMotley:TwoMemoirsbyOliverWendellHolmes,PublishedbyHoughtonMifflin,1904.WikimediaCommons.

FRIEDRICHNIETZCHE,‘FriedrichNietzschearound1869’.PhototakenatstudioGebrüderSiebe,Leipzig.Then,hemusthavesentittoDeussenwithhisletterfromJuly1869([1],KGBII.1No10).AcopyofthisphotographisatGoetheundSchillerarchiv,No.GSA101/11.ScanprocessedbyAnton(2005).WikimediaCommons.LUDWIGWITTGENSTEIN,‘LudwigWittgenstein’(1899–1951),1930,MorizNehr(1859–1945).AustrianNationalLibrary.WikimediaCommons.

JEAN-PAULSARTRE,‘Frenchphilosopher-writerJeanPaulSartreandwriterSimoneDeBeauvoirarrivinginIsraelandwelcomedbyAvrahamShlonskyandLeahGoldbergatLodairport’(14/03/1967).

PhotobyMosheMilner.WikimediaCommons.

SIMONEDEBEAUVOIR,‘SimonedeBeauvoir&Jean-PaulSartreinBeijing1955’,PhotobyXinhuaNewsAgency.WikimediaCommons.

ALBERTCAMUS,‘Philosopher’,photographerunknown.WikimediaCommons.

JOHNRAWLS,‘TheAmericanPhilosopherJohnRawls’,HarvardGazette.WikimediaCommons.

JACQUESDERRIDA,‘TheFrenchphilosopherJacquesDerrida’,UniversityofFloridaCollegeofLiberalArtsandSciences.WikimediaCommons.

TableofContents

CoverCopyrightTitleInsidethisBookIntroduction:WhatIsPhilosophy?KnowYourselfwithSocratesLearntoSayWhat’sonYourMindwithLudwigWittgensteinIt’sHardtoKnowWhatWeReallyWantwithSimonedeBeauvoirWhen Someone Is Angry,Maybe It’s NotYouWho Is Responsiblewith IbnSina

PeopleAreUnhappy,NotMeanwithZeraYacobDon’tExpectTooMuchwithSenecaMaybeYouAreJustTiredwithMatsuoBashoWhatIsNormalIsn’tNormalwithAlbertCamusNoOneKnows…withRenéDescartesPolitenessMatterswithConfuciusWhyWeProcrastinatewithHypatiaofAlexandriaWhy It’s Hard to Know What You Want to Do with Your Life with Jean-JacquesRousseau

GoodThingsAre(Unexpectedly)HardwithFriedrichNietzscheWeaknessofStrengthTheorywithRalphWaldoEmersonKintsugiwithBuddhaTheNeedtoTeachRatherthanNagwithImmanuelKantTheMind-BodyProblemwithJean-PaulSartreWhyYouFeelLonelywithMicheldeMontaigneTheMeaningofLifewithAristotleWhyWeHateCheapThingswithMaryWollstonecraftTheNewsDoesn’tAlwaysTellTheWholeStorywithJacquesDerridaArt Is Advertising for What We Really Need with GeorgWilhelm FriedrichHegel

WhyDoSomePeopleGetPaidMorethanOthers?What’sFair?withJohnRawlsShyness:HowtoOvercomeItwithMaimonidesWhyGrown-upLifeIsHardwith...PhilosophyListofThinkers