Beyond Kale and Pedicures Santa Clara...2018/04/03 · My car is in need of cleaning and/or repair My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations __I’d like to live in a different

Beyond Kale and Pedicures

Santa Clara

Cambria Rose Walsh, LCSW [email protected]

April 2nd, 2018

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© Françoise Mathieu 2017 www.tendacademy.com

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SELF-TEST: Assess your Physical and Psychological Resilience

Read each statement carefully. Give yourself points as follows: 2 points if the statement describes what you do every day/almost always, at work, at home, on the road, 1 point if the statement describes what you do sometimes, 0 points if the statement never applies to you.

# Statement Score Body 1 I eat regularly, eating when hungry and stopping just before I feel full 2 I maintain a healthy weight 3 I eat lots of vegetables and fruits throughout the day 4 I choose whole grains, non-processed foods and limit my sugar intake 5 I have healthy snacks with me in my office, on the road and at home 6 I drink at least 8 cups of fluid (water, other healthy options) throughout

my day

7 I use the stairs everywhere possible 8 When possible I walk or cycle to meetings, appointments, shopping &

other outings

9 I use work breaks or lunchtime to stretch, go for a walk or take an exercise class

10 I do activities that strengthen my muscles, bones & improve posture 2 - 3 times a week

11 I do stretching & balancing activities 2 - 3 times a week 12 I accumulate 150 minutes of active living/ increased heart rate every week 13 I get regular preventative and required health care 14 I do physical activities that I find fun 15 I make sure I get enough sleep 16 I limit the amount of screen time I engage in 17 I take regular vacations/time off/day trips Other: Heart 18 I practise deep breathing during stressful times like short deadlines, traffic

jams, etc.

19 I have people I can share things with 20 I practise receiving from others 21 I nurture intimate relationships 22 I deal with situations directly instead of complaining, and I focus on

finding a solution

23 I take time for myself everyday 24 I volunteer for something I find worthwhile 25 I see the glass half full rather than half empty 26 I know when and how to say "no" 27 I accept other people's differences and the things I cannot change 28 I treat myself with loving kindness as I would speak to someone I care

about

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29 I allow myself to cry when needed 30 I smile and laugh daily 31 I engage in play regularly Other: Mind 32 I play challenging games or puzzles 33 I am curious and like to learn new things 34 I break out of my normal routine or do things that are out of my comfort

zone

35 I read literature that is unrelated to work 36 I do things that I am not expert at or in charge of Other: Spirit 37 I take time to self-reflect 38 I know what my values are 39 I have a sense of purpose in life 40 I seek to make a contribution in life 41 I have hope 42 I am aware of the non-material aspects of life 43 I identify what is meaningful to me and notice its place in my life 44 I take time to meditate/pray/contemplate 45 I have experiences of awe 46 I connect with things larger than myself e.g. nature, spiritual group, etc. Other: Professional 47 I take breaks during the workday 48 I take time to connect with co-workers 49 I make quiet time to complete tasks 50 I engage in projects/tasks that are exciting/rewarding 51 I arrange my schedule so no part of the day is "too much" 52 I have a workspace that is comfortable and comforting 53 I get regular work support/consultation 54 I negotiate for my needs (flexible schedule, time off, benefits, pay, etc.) 55 I find my work mentally stimulating 56 I find my work meaningful Other: Total Total your scores and see how your resilience habits rate. Score results:

•1 - 55: You may want to consider making some changes. Choose one thing and start now!

•56- 76: Pretty good! Still consider choosing one thing to change and start now.

•77 +: Wow! You have some great self-care habits. Is there anything you want to build on?

Adapted from: The Power of Full Engagement, by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz & Transforming the Pain: A workbook on

Vicarious Traumatization by Karen Saakvitne &Laurie Anne Perlman

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Life/work balance self-test

What’s Draining You?

Excerpted from Cheryl Richardson “Take time for your life” (1999)

Check all that apply to you

Relationships

__There are people in my life who continuously drain energy

__I have unreturned phone calls, e-mails, or letters that need to be handled

__I have an unresolved conflict with a family member

__I lack quality friendships in my life

__I feel a void in my life created by the lack of a romantic partner

__There is someone I need to forgive

__There is a relationship I need to end

__There is a phone call I dread making, and it causes me stress and anxiety

__I’m currently involved in a relationship that compromises my values

__I miss being a part of a loving and supportive community

Add your check marks: _____

Environment

__My car is in need of cleaning and/or repair

__My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations

__I’d like to live in a different geographic location

__I have appliances that need repair or upgrading

__My home is not decorated in a way that nurtures me

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__My closets and/or basement are cluttered and need to be cleaned

__Repairs need to be done around my home or apartment

__My home is cluttered and disorganized

__I miss having more beauty reflected in my environment

__I watch too much television


Body, mind and spirit

__I eat food that’s not good for me

__Something about my physical appearance bothers me

__It’s been too long since I’ve been to the dentist

__I do not get the sleep I need to feel fully rested

__I’d like to exercise regularly but never seem to find the time

__I have a health concern for which I’ve avoided getting help

__I have emotional needs that consistently go unmet

__There are books that I’d love to read but never seem to find the time for

__I lack personal interests that are intellectually stimulating

__I lack a spiritual or religious practice in my life


Work

__I no longer enjoy my job and have a hard time showing up each day

__ My work is stressful and leaves me exhausted at the end of the day

__ My office is disorganized, my desk is a mess, and I have trouble finding what I need

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__ I’m avoiding a confrontation or conflict at work

__ I tolerate bad behaviour from a boss or coworker

__ I am not computer literate, and it gets in the way of my productivity

__ I lack the proper office equipment that I need to do my job well

__ My work does not allow me to express my creativity

__ I know I need to delegate specific tasks but am unable to let go of control

__ I feel overwhelmed with the amount of information that enters my life in the form of email, books, magazines, and mail


Money

__ I have tax returns that are not filed or taxes that are not paid

__ I pay my bills late

__ I spend more money than I earn

__ I don’t have a plan for my financial future

__ My credit rating is not what I’d like it to be

__ I do not have a regular savings plan

__ I do not have adequate insurance coverage

__ My mortgage rate is too high, and I need to refinance

__ I have debt that needs to be paid off

__ My will is not up to date


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Add score from each category

Relationships:

Environment:

Body mind and spirit:

Work:

Money:

Are there areas that cause more energy drains than others?

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The Self Care Gauge

Write down 3 warning signs that you are getting overloaded with stress (could be physical, emotional or behavioural): 1. 2. 3.

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Balance Map

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Feeling Effective

What are my training needs?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

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54321 Exercise

1. Describe 5 things you see in the room.

2. Name 4 things you can feel (“my feet on the floor” or “the air in my nose”)

3. Name 3 things you hear right now (“traffic outside”)

4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)

5. Name 1 good things about yourself

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Low Impact Debriefing

1) Increased Self Awareness

Have you ever shocked or horrified friends or family with a work story that you thought was fairly benign or even funny? Working in this field, we rapidly become desensitized to the trauma and loss we are exposed to daily. Try and become more aware of the stories you tell and the level of detail you provide when telling a story. Ask yourself: Were all those details really necessary to the storytelling? Could you have given a “Coles notes” version and still passed on the necessary information?

2) Fair Warning

We use fair warning in everyday life: If you had to call your sister and tell her that your grandfather has passed away, you would likely start the phone call with “I have some bad news” or “You better sit down”. This allows the listener to brace themselves to hear the story. Why not do the same when debriefing? If I know that you are coming to tell me a traumatic story, I will be prepared to hear this information and it will be less traumatic for me to hear.

3) Consent

Once you have warned the listener, you need to ask for consent. This can be as simple as saying: “I need to debrief something with you, is this a good time?” or “I heard something really hard today, and I could really use a debrief, could I talk to you about it?” The listener then has a chance to decline, or to qualify what they are able/ready to hear.

4) Limited Disclosure

Now that you have received consent from your colleague, you can decide how much to share. I suggest imagining that you are telling the story starting on the outer circle of the story (i.e. the least traumatic information) and slowly move in towards the core (the very traumatic information) at a gradual pace. You may, in the end, need to tell the graphic details, or you may not, depending on how disturbing the story has been for you.

How much detail is enough? How much is too much?

Don’t assume you need to disclose all the details right away. Is sharing the graphic details necessary to the discussion? For example, when discussing a child being removed from the home, you may need to say “the child suffered severe neglect and some physical abuse at the hands of his mother” and that may be enough, or you may in certain instances need to give more detail for the purpose of the clinical discussion.

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My Commonly Used Coping Skills

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Others I Might Want To Try

1.

2.

3.

4.

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Reflection: My Support System Take a few minutes to reflect on and answer the following questions about your social support system. How do I know when I need to access my support system? When I am having a bad day, who do I connect with? Who are my social supports in my work/volunteer life? Who are my social supports in my home/personal life? What areas of my support system do I need to enhance?

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MAKING CHANGES Commitment to changes I could make in the next…

Immediate plan: Can you think of one small step you could take in the very near future to move you closer to this goal? (you could consult a friend/coach/counsellor for additional ideas if you feel stuck here)

Change I could make in the next Week: What do you need to get in place to make this happen?

Change I could make in the next Month: What do you need to get in place to make this happen?

Change I could make in the next Year: What do you need to get in place to make this happen?

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Recommended Resources Compassion Fatigue/Vicarious Trauma The Compassion Fatigue Workbook by Françoise Mathieu (available online at Amazon)

Trauma Stewardship by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky Organizational Health Building Resilient Teams by Patricia Fisher (available at www.tendacademy.ca)

Is work Killing You? A Doctor’s Prescription for Treating Workplace Stress by David Posen Trauma and the Body Childhood Disrupted: How your Biography Becomes your Biology. Donna Jackson Nakazawa

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk

The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation and Disease by Robert Scaer Stress/Immune System Resilience, Balance & Meaning Workbook by Patricia Fisher (available at www.tendacademy.ca)

When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté Mindfulness & Self-compassion websites and Apps www.franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness

www.self-compassion.org

www.mindfulselfcompassion.org

Body Scan link: https://www.mindful.org/a-3-minute-body-scan-meditation-to-cultivate-mindfulness

Ichill App

Headspace App

Calm App Life/Work Balance Take Time for Your Life: a 7 Step Program for Creating the Life You Want by Cheryl Richardson Self Care/Stress Reduction Do One Thing Different: 10 simple ways to change your life by Bill O’Hanlon

Little book of stress relief by David Posen

Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter by Elaine St James

http://www.franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness

http://www.self-compassion.org/

http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/

https://www.mindful.org/a-3-minute-body-scan-meditation-to-cultivate-mindfulness/

https://www.mindful.org/a-3-minute-body-scan-meditation-to-cultivate-mindfulness/

Beyond Kale and Pedicures Santa Clara...2018/04/03 · __My car is in need of cleaning and/or repair __My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations __I’d like to live in a different

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Beyond Kale and Pedicures Santa Clara...2018/04/03 · My car is in need of cleaning and/or repair My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations __I’d like to live in a different